Most parents don’t realize that the way they’ve been taught to parent—based on shame, punishment, and control—is actually deeply harmful. Wendy Snyder, a family coach and author of Fresh Start Your Family, reveals how shifting from power struggles to powerful connection transforms not just your child's behavior, but your entire family dynamic.This episode pulls back the curtain on why apologizing to your kids feels so uncomfortable and how even the most well-intentioned parents often avoid humility out of fear or pride. Wendy shares concrete, actionable strategies—like the four-step framework for respectful discipline—that help parents build trust, foster emotional safety, and cultivate neural pathways of compassion in children. You’ll discover the profound impact of owning your part, offering genuine apologies, and modeling humility—because regret and repair are acts of strength, not weakness.We break down:

Skipping these lessons risks passing down cycles of shame, disconnection, and rebellion. But mastering these principles unlocks a new level of influence—not through force but through authentic love and respect. If you’re tired of power struggles and want your family to thrive in dignity and grace, this episode is your guide.Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, or anyone invested in meaningful human connection, these insights will reshape your approach to family—not just for today, but for generations to come.Wendy Snyder is a certified family life coach, author, and host of The Fresh Start Family Show. Her work is rooted in faith, real-world science, and an unwavering commitment to restoring peace through connection.This is essential listening for anyone ready to give up control and embrace powerful parenting that heals, not harms.

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Learn more about Wendy at freshstartfamilyonline.com

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Welcome to The Collective Table, a progressive and affirming Christian podcast produced by The Oceanside Sanctuary in Oceanside, California. We are a community dedicated to following Jesus, working for justice, and celebrating joy! Whether you are actively reconstructing your faith, seeking a spiritually safe and inclusive space, or simply exploring, there is a seat for you at our table.

In this episode, Dr. Hilary McBride shares her expertise on how high control religious environments impact psychological and spiritual development. She offers practical ways for communities and individuals to foster healing, embodiment, and genuine connection.

00:00 - Introduction and overview of Dr. McBride's background
02:03 - Why the church community chose to explore Holy Hurt
05:26 - Impact of high control religious backgrounds on development
09:00 - The developmental purpose of lying and boundary testing in youth
13:24 - Reconceptualizing the biblical language of violence and coercion
15:53 - How cultural context influences perceptions of divine violence
17:43 - The importance of hermeneutics and interpretive flexibility in spirituality
20:13 - Differentiating healthy deconstruction from traumatic disengagement
23:01 - Movement and embodiment as pathways to spiritual connection
27:43 - Trauma-informed body-based worship practices
33:29 - Accountability structures in progressive faith communities
39:53 - Supporting survivors and avoiding re-traumatization
42:57 - Navigating trust and community re-entry after trauma
45:21 - The importance of agency, choice, and space to heal in faith communities
48:05 - Cherry-picking beliefs and creating remixing faith spaces
53:27 - Distinguishing empowerment from avoidance in spiritual choices
55:11 - Understanding and navigating spiritual bypassing
57:55 - Wrap-up and final thoughts from Dr. McBride

The Collective Table is a production of The Oceanside Sanctuary Church. To learn more about our community, get involved, or support the work we do in building communities of love and liberation, visit us online at Oceanside Sanctuary.

Join the TCT Book Club for a live, insightful conversation with Reverend Brandon Robertson—acclaimed author, activist, public theologian, and the "TikTok Pastor." In this episode, we dive deep into Brandon's book, Queer and Christian, exploring how to celebrate queer faith, reclaim the Bible as a dynamic conversation partner, and fully embrace Jesus's radical message of unconditional inclusion.

Brandon shares his personal journey from a fundamentalist background at Moody Bible Institute to becoming a progressive champion for LGBTQ+ rights. The group discusses the inherently transgressive nature of Jesus's ministry, the importance of reading scripture through liberationist and queer lenses, and how to shift from fear-based religious boundaries to value-centered, harm-reducing ethics.

The episode concludes with a live Q&A with our book club members, tackling tough questions about staying in conservative spaces, navigating relationships with non-affirming loved ones, and reimagining historical assumptions about Jesus.

Links & Resources:

Find and join our next book club session: oceansidesanctuary.org/calendar

Support our mission: The Collective Table is a production of the Oceanside Sanctuary. To help us keep building communities of love and liberation, please consider becoming a supporter at oceansidesanctuary.org/give.

In this week’s episode, Pastor Jenell Coker of Oceanside Sanctuary explores the story of Jesus's temptation in the wilderness from Matthew 4:1-11. As we journey through the third week of Lent, Pastor Jenell unpacks the significance of the "40 days and 40 nights," moving beyond the idea of Jesus as an untouchable superhero to examine his profound, relatable humanity. Join us as we reflect on what it means to willingly enter our own wilderness, face internal struggles, and find spiritual renewal in the midst of life's difficult tests.

To learn more about our church and community, visit us at

oceansidesanctuary.org.

In this episode of the TCT Book Club, Jason Coker welcomes Dr. David Gushee, one of the leading Christian ethicists of our time, to discuss his newest work, The Moral Teachings of Jesus: Radical Instruction in the Will of God. Together, they explore what it means to move beyond abstract doctrine and political identity to embrace the concrete moral transformation Jesus invites us into.

The conversation takes a deep dive into the practice of prayer for those reconstructing their faith, the reclaiming of Kingdom of God language from Christian Nationalism, and how to approach Biblical interpretation not as a search for certainty, but as a pilgrimage of trust. Dr. Gushee shares insights on loving enemies, the Sermon on the Mount, and the importance of viewing the church as a community of journeyers.

Dr. David Gushee is the Distinguished University Professor of Christian Ethics at Mercer University and Chair of Christian Social Ethics at Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam. He is the author or editor of more than 25 books, including Changing Our Mind and After Evangelicalism. As a scholar and activist, he has spent decades helping the church think with greater clarity, courage, and compassion about following Jesus in the modern world.

Learn More:

For more on Dr. Gushee’s work, visit davidpgushee.com.

Get the book: The Moral Teachings of Jesus on Amazon Here

The Collective Table is a production of The Oceanside Sanctuary Church in Oceanside California. To learn more about us, or to support the work we do, visit us online at www.oceansidesanctuary.org 

Since the essence of empathy is to understand people who are different than you are, it requires the willingness to cross borders of one kind or another. But what happens when the hardest borders to cross exist within ourselves—across competing desires, beliefs, and identities?

In this episode, host Jason Coker introduces Tindo, a beloved member of the Oceanside Sanctuary community. Born intersex and assigned male at birth, Tindo was surgically reassigned as female at three months old and raised as "Cynthia." After living for five decades in a gender identity that never quite fit—including time as a debutante and women's auxiliary member—Tindo began a courageous journey of self-discovery to reclaim their authentic self.

Tindo shares their powerful story of navigating the medical and societal trauma of being an intersex person in a binary world. They discuss the profound "empathy journey" required to forgive their parents for decisions made without consent, and how they found spiritual affirmation in the words of Jesus. This conversation is a testament to the power of self-compassion and the possibility of post-traumatic growth.

The Intersex Reality: Understanding the biological reality of intersex bodies (1.7% of the population) and the history of non-consensual medical interventions.

Living as Cynthia: Tindo’s experience growing up with a secret medical history and the pressure to perform hyper-femininity.

The Empathy Journey: How Tindo moved from anger to understanding, using self-empathy to reconcile with their father and the memory of their mother.

Biblical Validation: A deep dive into Matthew 19, where Jesus’s discussion of eunuchs offers a liberating theology for gender-liminal lives.

Faith & Legislation: A look at current political efforts to erase intersex existence and why spiritual communities must stand for truth.

Join us for a conversation about the borders we cross to find our true selves, and the grace we find on the other side.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Chicago Tribune Article (2018) by Nara Schoenberg profiling Tindo/Cynthia

North County LGBTQ Resource Center & Pride by the Beach

Post-Traumatic Growth research by Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun

Self-Compassion research by Kristin Neff and Paul Gilbert

Scripture: Matthew 19; Deuteronomy 24

Learn more about us at oceansidesanctuary.org

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What happens when empathy moves beyond individual compassion and becomes a tool for systemic change? In this episode, host Jenell Coker sits down with Dinora, the Executive Director of the San Diego Organizing Project (SDOP), to explore how faith-based organizing builds power among the most vulnerable.

As the oldest daughter of immigrant parents who fled civil war in El Salvador, Dinora became a "translator" early in life—navigating complex systems for her family in a language they didn’t speak. She shares a heart-wrenching childhood story of a brush with law enforcement that exposed the harsh realities of structural bias—a reality Jenell contrasts with her own experience to highlight the profound difference privilege makes.

Together, they discuss:

The Power of Faith-Based Organizing: How SDOP unites congregations to move from charity to justice, securing wins like the Immigrant Legal Defense Program and the Oceanside Police De-escalation Policy.

The Challenge of Coalition: Why real solidarity isn't supposed to feel like "home," and the difficult work of building bridges across race, class, and faith.

Intersectionality & Identity: Dinora’s experience leading as a queer, Latina, Catholic woman, and the tension of navigating spaces that don't always fully embrace her.

Avoiding the "Oppression Olympics": How to honor distinct pains without letting them divide the movement for collective liberation.

Join us for a conversation about living in the "in-between" and using that unique vantage point to build a more just and empathetic world.

Mentioned in this Episode:

San Diego Organizing Project (SDOP)

Coalition Politics by Bernice Johnson Reagon

The "Oppression Olympics" (Elizabeth Martínez & Angela Davis)

Learn more about us at Oceansidesanctuary.org

Follow us on Instagram @Oceansidesanctuary

This special book club episode features a conversation with Peter Makari, co-editor of Rooted in Faith and Justice, about how Christian faith communities engage issues of Israel–Palestine, antisemitism, and human rights. Makari explains the long history of Christian denominations condemning antisemitism while still critiquing Israeli government policies, and he urges listeners to center the voices of Palestinian Christians in understanding the conflict. The discussion touches on misinformation in the West, the importance of decolonizing assumptions, and practical steps people of faith can take to support justice and peace.

Peter Makari is the Global Relations Minister for the Middle East and Europe with the Common Global Ministries Board of the United Church of Christ and the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), a role he has held since 2000. He is deeply engaged in national interfaith and policy work, serving as co-convener of both the National Council of Churches’ Interreligious Convening Table and the Faith Forum for Middle East Policy, while also representing his denominations on the boards of Churches for Middle East Peace and the Shoulder to Shoulder Campaign.

An Egyptian-American with extensive experience living and working in the Middle East, Peter previously served with the Coptic Evangelical Organization for Social Services in Cairo and the Middle East Council of Churches in Cyprus. He holds advanced degrees in Middle East studies and politics from the American University in Cairo and New York University. He is co-editor of Rooted in Faith and Justice and Restoring Dignity, and author of Conflict and Cooperation. He is a member of West Park United Church of Christ in Cleveland, Ohio.

The Collective Table is a Ministry of The Oceanside Sanctuary Church in Oceanside, CA

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When Kris spotted a flyer for Food Not Bombs on a Provo street corner, he didn’t hesitate—he called the number right away. He already knew what the group stood for: feeding people, not profit. What he didn’t know was that this moment would set the course for the rest of his life.

In this episode of The Collective Table Podcast, host Jason Coker shares how Kris’s journey—from the punk rock shows of Provo, Utah to a two-year mission in Guatemala, to his work as a public librarian—reveals empathy as both a personal practice and a social force.

Raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Kris began asking hard questions about faith, justice, and belonging. Punk rock offered community. Activism gave those convictions purpose. And the library became the place where it all came together—a space of radical inclusion where everyone belongs.

Through Kris’s story, Jason explores what sociologists call social infrastructure—the shared spaces that hold communities together—and how they mirror the very heart of empathy itself.

Curious. Courageous. Deeply human.
This is Kris’s story—and a testament to empathy as the quiet architecture of community.

Learn more about us at Oceansidesanctuary.org

Follow us on Instagram @Oceansidesanctuary

When Victoria first walked into the Oceanside Sanctuary Food Pantry, she wasn’t looking for a new calling, or even a job—she was just dropping off donations. But a simple invitation to help unload boxes changed everything. In this moving episode of The Collective Table Podcast, host Jason Coker shares how a simple act of kindness became another chapter in Victoria’s lifelong journey of compassion—and what her story teaches us about the enduring power of empathy.

From her parents’ immigrant journey from Costa Rica and Guatemala, to her own path through loss, burnout, and quiet resilience, Victoria embodies compassion in action. Along the way, Jason explores what science and scripture both teach us: that empathy is more than emotion—it’s the engine of compassion, courage, and community.

Featuring reflections from pantry volunteers and deep dives into research and gospel stories, this episode invites us to ask:
When does empathy call us to cross the boundaries of comfort, and when does it become the bridge that heals?

Quiet. Sad. Hopeful. This is Victoria’s story—and the story of how empathy transforms us all.

PS: The Collective Table is a production of The Oceanside Sanctuary Church. Click here to learn more about us and our mission