This Dairy Queen episode kicks off with a birthday celebration for Tim. Sean and Greg share their recent casino adventures—and their less-than-stellar encounters with pit bosses. The guys break down what makes a great story (Greg prefers his short). Next, they take a deep dive into the origins of Dairy Queen and the unique charm of Texas locations. Their old pals Mookapotomis and Dustin Nickerson get mentions. Plus, is The Coterie the right name for The Consumers group? The listeners weigh in. As always, Sean introduces another freshly minted word of the week.

The podcast is evolving, and with that, we reunite with Randy Cash. Greg might still be recovering from a past spill, while Sean passionately defends the wonders of steam cleaning. The crew takes a deep dive into the history of Planters, with Tim dropping some serious Mr. Peanut knowledge. Lou Ferrigno gets a well-deserved shoutout—turns out, he’s still very much on the map. Listener mail from the Consumers PO Box delivers some top-tier surprises, and the guys reflect on what inspired them to start comedy. To wrap things up, Sean asks the big question: "What is Tourette’s?"

It is Pepperidge Farm Day! Things got a little dicey in Virgina. Randy takes another
beating for his private label proclivities. After a 73 episodes hiatus, Tim tries another
“Mmm Mmm Good” joke. Sean’s word of the week may become an integral part of the
podcast. Greg thinks 250 x 4 equals One Million; Sean’s grammar is an
embarrassment, and Tim struggles with the letter “S”. Tim and Sean double down on
the “Greg’s a bully” talk. We might have a new sign-off!

It’s the long-awaited Nerf episode and we love it.  Sean is heartbroken but hanging in there. Maybe he deserved it for making his sister cry back in the day.  Tim and Greg bring up an old argument.  Randy and Sean referee. Sean takes wordplay to another level.  We are very proud.  Sean checks out for a few minutes.  When you offer to buy at Starbucks, Greg has a couple go-to bits. 

Zoltan Kaszas, Ben, Jerry… It’s a loaded episode. Sean is an emotional wreck over

the Bills game and it turns out, that was probably a good hunch. Greg had a run-in at

Starbucks and Sean fights for him. We find out Tim is ice cream royalty. A lot of talk

about whether Tim’s “DC is the capitol of Virginia” comment last week is the dumbest

thing uttered in the history of the pod. Greg’s tongue is tied – probably 8 Mushmouth

moments. Greg tells some stories about Freddie D, his club owner mentor. Tim makes

a couple attempts at a Deadhead impression and will not reveal his inspiration. The

new shirts make an appearance. Tim foolishly risks our relationship with

Mookapotamus. The fans continue hate on the set and our guest sticks up for us.

Watch Zoltan’s latest special here!

This week, the guys take a deep dive into the world of Uncrustables. Sean kicks things off by celebrating the Bills big win, while Greg shares a hilarious tale about his misadventures with a hybrid car. The trio dive into some big questions: Are Uncrustables throwing shade at Jif, and what’s the secret behind their runaway success? Sean pitches patenting his shirts, but does he have the "flash of genius" it takes? The verdict comes in quick. Plus, a new word of the week shakes things up. Uncrustables take center stage in the NFL, but can they legally own a whole sandwich? And in a shocking twist, the St. Louis Arch weighs in on the show.

This week, the guys take a deep dive into the history of elevators—but not before debating their "lower limit" for rating random restaurants. Greg sounds the horn (literally), and they tease the possibility of new merch with a special design inspired by Sean’s math. A heated discussion ensues: could Skippy ever sponsor the show? Greg isn’t exactly on board.

They also tackle some big questions: Why are some elevators so painfully slow? And what are the risks (and myths) about elevator safety? Along the way, they reminisce about a chaotic go-karting experience and question whether it’s worth trying again. Finally, the team contemplates whether their signature sign-off—“You have the right to charge your phone, and you have been consumed”—still fits.

Sean and Josh take a trip down memory lane, sharing stories of opening for bands, while Tim reflects on how Ludo perfectly timed their hits for radio. Sean might have discovered the ultimate on-stage water, and Josh teaches the crew how to scale a fish before recounting a lonely late-night encounter at a McDonald’s drive-thru. Tim revisits a memorable road trip with Greg, where they stumbled upon the eerie remains of a Ruby Tuesday. Meanwhile, the guys debate whether Tim is secretly rocking Lululemon... Sean also shares memories of his first gig at The Funny Bone, and the group unanimously agrees: Groundhog Day is a cinematic masterpiece.

Get ready for a deep dive into the tangy and unexpected history of Heinz! Sean kicks things off with a hilarious tale about his comedy set at his aunt’s retirement party, while the guys uncover surprising ketchup trivia—like its tomato-less beginnings and the mystery behind Heinz’s '57.' They also tackle the bizarre question: what was coal tar doing in early ketchup recipes? Meanwhile, Tim and Greg test Sean’s eyesight, and he might need some glasses. The crew weighs in on the pros and cons of Pittsburgh (spoiler: it’s a great city), responds to listener comments, and, of course, reminds everyone to smash that like button!

Energizer! Mookapotamus shows his face! Tim is ripping off fans. We all agree our
Energizer is a great brand, but they were once guilty of acting like babies. Tim reports on a battery mystery. There’s some talk of firing Randy and Sean steps up.