In this episode we discuss various aspects of growth, change and the challenges associated with changing behaviour and mindset.

A discussion on the practical benefits and uses of mindfulness meditation.

In this episode Peter and Dermot discuss Stephen Karpman's "Drama Triangle" which describes three patterned roles we can fall into in interpersonal relationships particular when in conflict. These roles are,

The Victim: The Victim is not intended to represent an actual victim, but rather someone feeling or acting like one.  The Victim feels helpless, hopeless, powerless, and seems unable to make decisions or take responsibility for their own, feelings, thoughts or actions. The Victim, if not being persecuted, will set someone else up in the role of Persecutor. They will also seek help, creating one or more Rescuers to save the day, who will in reality perpetuate the Victim's negative feelings and leave them dependent.

The Rescuer: (a.k.a. hero or caretaker) The Rescuer's line is "Let me help you." Typically, an enabler, the Rescuer feels guilty if they don't go to the rescue, and ultimately becomes resentful if their help fails to work. Their rescuing and caretaking tend to keep the Victim dependent and doesn't allow the Victim permission to fail and experience the consequences of their choices. 

The Persecutor: (a.k.a. Villain or controller) The Persecutor insists, "It's all your fault." The Persecutor is controlling, blaming, critical, oppressive, authoritarian, rigid, and superior. But, if blamed in turn, the Persecutor may become defensive, and may switch roles to become a Victim. The persecutor wants to seek comfort by controlling or punishing those around them.

In this episode we discuss the concept of happiness, some of our experiences of happiness and unhappiness, whether happiness is the most useful goal or a beneficial byproduct of other pursuits, the importance of acceptance, independence and uncertainty and a fair bit more.

This is a special episode where we focus specifically on Dermot's experience of being a counselor for over twenty years. Dermot shares some of his background, education and his approach in dealing with the various challenges that a counselor is confronted with. We also discuss where counselling can be helpful, methods and metaphors and what someone might expect from counselling as well as some of the darker aspects of counselling.

In this episode Peter and Dermot discuss the challenge of getting  ready for upcoming exams with a focus on the leaving cert but most of the topics, concepts and techniques could apply to any exams. 

Things covered include,

Breathing techniques

Inner critic versus inner coach

Managing distractions

Procrastination

Retrieval 

and more

In this episode Dermot Coonan and Peter Connolly discuss the challenge of managing deepfelt emotions with an initial focus on anger and then broadening out to managing frustrations in relationships, forgiveness and self compassion.

In this episode of The Counsellor and the Coach we discuss the challenges of grief and grieving. Peter discusses some of his experiences having lost 3 members of family during the pandemic and we go on to discuss the various reactions, challenges, obstacles and experiences of the grieving process. The complications of grieving during the Covid pandemic are also discussed. Some initial tips and ideas that have been found helpful are also mentioned.