The Crime Of The Century Podcast

Listen here, you glass-eyed bopper, the rhythm is right where it needs to be.

Got a pocket full of time and a guitar that hums like a june bug in a milk pail.

I’m as steady as a fence post in high wind, just cracklin' bright.

The whole damn sky is a neon sun floatin' through the grass.

Sat down in the corner booth at the Watering Hole,

brushed the sawdust off my boots,

And hung out with the local lads over a cold draft.

Told 'em the moon was leakin' through the floorboards.

Old Jim looked up, took a sip, and said:

"You’re just playin' too sharp, Wayne,

your neck's too long for the weather!"

The weather? The weather's just a warm thrill on a heavy paw,

Meltin' down the wall, a deep-dish, drip-dry blues,

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Keep on pickin', boys.

There he goes with his sister Lucy,

A couple of dapper little beetles,

Doin' the twist in the sawdust.

Woo!

You may talk o’ grease and chrome

When you’re safe inside your home,

An’ you’re hummin’ ‘I Sing About Blue’ in the bath;

But when the contract’s dry

And the buzzards start to fly,

You’ll find a rubber octopus upon your path.

Now in Tennessee’s humid clime,

Where I worked my ass off all the time

Pickin' a guitar made out of a cigar box,

Of all the sharp-toothed crew

The jaggedest I knew

Was the firm of Dewey, Cheetham and Howe.

It was ‘Dewey! Cheetham! Howe!’

You cardboard-collared vulture, Dewey, Cheetham and Howe!

‘Hi! Sign the dotted line,

‘Gimme eighty-nine percent,

‘You glass-eyed desert-shuffler, Dewey, Cheetham and Howe.’

The uniform they wore

Was a pinstripe made of gore,

And a briefcase stuffed with petrified moth-balls,

For a tongue of twisted lead

And a hole inside the head

Was all the legal wisdom they could call.

When the band was playin’ blue

In a trailer made of glue,

Where the heat would make your plastic soul turn black,

We shouted for our pay,

But they hid the gold away,

And they wopped us with a lien across the back.

It was ‘Dewey! Cheetham! Howe!’

You paper-shufflin’ demons, Dewey, Cheetham and Howe!

‘You put some suction in it

‘Or I’ll sue you this very minute

‘If you don’t fill up my thimble, Dewey, Cheetham and Howe!’

They would dot and carry none

Till the starvin’ day was done;

And they didn’t seem to know the use of shame.

If we played a chord or three,

Or a polyphonic spree,

You could bet they’d put a tax upon the name.

With a ledger on their back,

They would skip with our attack,

An’ watch us till the sheriff made ‘Retire,’

An’ for all their hollow hide

They were sulfurous inside

When they went to burn the masters in the fire!

It was ‘Dewey! Cheetham! Howe!’

With the lawyers kickin’ dust-spots on the green.

When the rhythm section quit,

You could really hear me spit,

‘Litigation-mules Dewey, Cheetham and Howe!’

I shan’t forget the night

When I dropped behind the fight

With a subpoena where my heart-plate should ’a’ been.

I was chokin’ mad with thirst,

An’ the men that spied me first

Was our good old grinnin’, gruntin’ Dewey, Cheetham and Howe.

They lifted up my pen,

And they bled me once again,

An’ they gave me half-a-pint of liquid-spleen.

It was copper-sour and black,

Like a knife-wound in the back,

But of all the dregs I’ve swallowed, foul and mean,

I’m loathest to the one from Dewey, Cheetham and Howe.

It was ‘Dewey! Cheetham! Howe!’

‘’Ere’s a genius with a mortgage on his spleen;

‘’E's chawin’ on the ground,

‘And he’s signin’ what we need:

‘For Mammon’s sake get the paper, Dewey, Cheetham and Howe!’

They carried me away

To where a bankruptcy dooli lay,

An’ a gavel come an’ drilled the beggar clean.

They put me safe inside,

An’ just before they lied,

‘I hope you liked your fame,’ sez Dewey, Cheetham and Howe.

So I’ll meet ’em later on

At the place where they are gone—

Where it’s always double taxes and no shoes.

They’ll be squattin’ on the coals

Shreddin’ up the poor damned souls,

And I’ll get a lawsuit in hell from Dewey, Cheetham and Howe!

Yes, Dewey! Cheetham! Howe!

You polyester-leather Dewey, Cheetham and Howe!

Though I’ve flayed you in a song,

By the great fast and bulbous throng,

You’re meaner men than I am, Dewey, Cheetham and Howe!

[Verse 1]

The barometer is dropping down in the hallway,

Every word we trade is heavy with the rain.

You’re navigatin’ shadows standin’ in the doorway,

Just charted by the lightning of your pain.

[Verse 2]

We keep driftin’ from a shoreline we can’t see anymore,

Cut loose the only anchor that ever held the shore.

The wind don’t ask for nothin’, it just kicks in the door,

And leaves us with the echoes of what we were before.

[Chorus]

Now we’re lost in the tempest of our hearts,

Where the mercy and the thunder fall apart.

[Verse 3]

Well, the captain’s in the basement, he’s polishing his shoes,

While the radio is spitting out the same old lonesome news.

And you’re standin’ on the table, tryin’ to catch a spark,

Just wonderin’ who’s gonna strike the match to guide us through the dark.

[Verse 4]

I’ve seen the rivers risin’, I’ve felt the shifting sand,

I’ve held the map of mercy in my trembling hand.

But the ink is runnin’ blurry and the sky is turnin’ grey,

And there ain’t no use in shoutin’ what you got no words to say.

[Chorus]

Now we’re lost in the tempest of our hearts,

Where the mercy and the thunder fall apart.

[Verse 5]

Well, a broken clock went spinnin’ past, it never struck a time,

And a tattered coat came dancin’ through like it once was yours or mine.

There’s a letter never mailed, still flappin’ in the gale,

With a name scratched out in shaky ink and a half-forgotten tale.

[Verse 6]

And the chairs are stacked like questions nobody can defend,

While a mirror spins in circles tryin’ to recognize a friend.

You say it’s just the weather, but I swear it’s something more—

Like the past is gettin’ restless, come crashin’ through the door.

[Chorus]

Now we’re lost in the tempest of our hearts,

Where the mercy and the thunder fall apart.

[Verse 7]

Well, I found that letter in the corner where the floorboards start to bend,

But the words all ran together, I couldn’t tell how it would end.

And you were standin’ in the doorway like you’d never really gone,

Just waitin’ for the storm to pass that we’d been ridin’ all along.

[Verse 8]

Now the broken clock is tickin’, though it never moved before,

And the coat hangs by the window like it’s waitin’ by the door.

There’s a voice out in the static callin’ names I almost knew—

But the storm don’t sound like weather, it just sounds like me and you.

[Chorus]

Now we’re lost in the tempest of our hearts,

Where the mercy and the thunder fall apart.

[Verse 9]

There’s a lantern swingin’ sideways where the sky meets up with sand,

And a shadow on the water that refuses to be land.

I tried to read the compass, but it pointed everywhere—

So I followed what was left of you that wasn’t really there.

[Verse 10]

Well, the storm blew out the questions, left the answers where they fell,

And every truth we ever trusted didn’t fit us quite so well.

Now the silence sits between us like a story gone unsure—

And I can’t tell if we were broken… or just never really were.

[Chorus]

Now we’re lost in the tempest of our hearts,

Where the mercy and the thunder fall apart.

Liquid Textures by Matt Love

Edge of the Universe by the Lori Yamamoto Small Band by Matt Love

Through Time by Lori Yamamoto by Matt Love

Drifting Clouds by Lori Yamamoto by Matt Love

Cybernetic Music Festival by Mr Roboto by Matt Love

Lyrics:

This inige a scene a oman

1eees hrelne doowees md a

manscting lecers, ser

shie in hind les win Tooud

leges, and the aco the are

anafacsing hera cars the

The a the and croween wire

a owers ane mos ing hut

strahe pinis a much a stap

acoce like aurets ig enouie

aheaior aud steapainets sort,

is wias vooweul, lust nacher,

and cies oir the narse reanbea

a deek of paying canls, and

aseli onte shder of winetnd

viltere due thie in ina anes

ke a scatesedes, snupe, ound

ory and statm bon fills tne

xicvorty ofl anosioun of his

a meflvebainga a smimg fret

trains This Lakn the aset tis

poret in the powesving ataue

of the slocka allage Tnisags,

fewo mamin out naneed lise

a meswa muid, Two a dhoere

it mie Abom, ning Ing a

cunjier eamo bual uassing en

ched ovsed and the swont

bisof theses, mosire doee

sooid wit loog, thea doing

not tarstuion nora sinpfarn

sovaing, his wolar wher

the nicystaod one phock

of lating baerds, a sine

oo stan staves onst who

a ard of arr sand gy

Aoogils this is a préeni ichont

toding She mse lute an

and he stuple the wisten

of the grate nof awam,

wil Ir this sod ther

brdse conac bersing Aked me

of te svasnle goues the aGtad

the sung the ees wud dorvend

amrst wris toss out Lkehe

otophien sep ank a the mosiaing

dogs beuskivi k minssor mn a

thiegme of inva a thigalead

ston Thu ss the powrner like

Misisspr gud snd odineave

or nodes ent skin stinne

Tuand ne mowed the wont

nols mowrug of kflea in

as making manerss kin,

hing elring obe, nustiag

Lageher sind fovste, and Joce

steanaing fhok sine, afvuack

a laying clogs se thins fastin

gliges, the shipelstng Ins

chensting climnade tar hee

therpis alae the wathe foutiis

drove tohehud Lhe Tbs mis

moy hin a line bre

secres of a thoudand yars.

[Verse 1]

She’s a big-legged woman!

You know she got a face like a mule!

She deals me like a playing card...

Then she plays me for a fool!

I love her so much it makes me feel bad...

Like a toothache in a thunderstorm!

**[Verse 2]**

You know she need to be with me.

The way a shadow needs a wall.

She's got eyes like two blue marbles in a bucket of milk!

The moon is a silver dollar and I’m broke!

She's my iron destiny...

A heavy, rusted-chain destiny...

Clanking in the dark

[Bridge]

My shoes are full of Mississippi mud.

My boots are heavy with the dust of a thousand years!

my words come out like gravel in a tin can.

My tongue is a sandpaper lizard licking the sky!

I’ll always be true to my big-legged mule-faced lady!

True as a stray dog to a butcher shop.

We’ll live our life

Until the blue turns into a deep, muddy brown.

[Verse 3]

Come out and have a drink of this dandelion wine.

have a drink of the swamp-water gin!

She's The secret buried under the roots of a cypress tree.

The secret written on the bottom of a lead pipe!

She's free as a ghost in a graveyard.

She's free as a flea on a runaway freight train!

[Outro]

She dance like She's trying to stomp out a fire.

She Dance like her feet are made of magnetic North!

Like a storm was meant for the roof.

Like a shadow meant for the wall!

my big-legged mule-faced destiny.

my bandy-legged, bad-feeling destiny.

EYE-EE!

HUH!