The Crispy Noodle

We had some extra time here at The Crispy Noodle headquarters to calculate the data to establish this definitive ranking of the Star Wars movies. Do you agree with our final rankings?

How did we come up with this? Each movie was ranked equally through these three channels:

* Our Fans’ Rankings — We made a post on our social media channels for our Crispy Noodle fans to send us their lists of the Star Wars movies. We averaged all of these lists together to come up with this special Fan Ranking.* The Crispy Noodle Ranking — This is the average of the Star Wars lists from Rich, Mike, and Mike’s Mom (who’s also a huge Star Wars fan).* Tomatometer Critical Ranking — The average ranking of film critics’ reviews of every Star Wars movie.

With each one of these elements weighed equally, here are the final results:

“You like me because I’m a scoundrel. There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.”

It’s universal. Everyone loves The Empire Strikes Back, and with good reason. It’s the gold standard for movie sequels — Empire takes the elements of its predecessor and expands the Star Wars lore and its characters just right; it’s not overly conservative but not changing things up for the sake of change itself. The Empire Strikes Back is not just a catchy title, it’s the theme of this movie — the good guys aren’t always going to get away with the victory. For a science fiction movie, Empire Strikes Back feels real: Luke’s journey to discover who he actually is in this universe, a trusty ship that can’t get its captain out of danger, and a repressed romance blooming into something real (and a romance that actually works in Star Wars? Wow!). Recently, a viral movement was to name “5 Perfect Movies” in a social media post — as a result, The Empire Strikes Back started trending on its own, with people tweeting about how fantastic the movie is. It’s the perfect second act in a trilogy and deserves its rightful place at the top.

“She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.”

I found that quote funny, because that’s probably what 20th Century Fox thought. Remember, the original Star Wars movie was thought to be way too out there for general audiences and that it would end up being a big waste of money. Think about it: a bunch of broken robots, a tall guy in a hairy bigfoot costume, weird laser swords? That doesn’t sound like science fiction, right? Was this really going to work? Well, it emphatically did, as Star Wars, later renamed “A New Hope”, is the OG that kicks off the film franchise. The characters are what really sell this movie. George Lucas hits the big three perfectly: Luke is the young, bright-eyed optimist that gets thrust into the galactic big battle, Han is the perfect anti-hero foil to him, and Leia is the Princess that may need help, but she can hold her own ground. Everyone wanted to be one of these characters after seeing the film; so, it makes sense that its captivated audiences wanted to see it over and over again. In my opinion, this is the essence of The Star Wars. Need we say more?

“A magical power holding together good and evil, the dark side and the light? Crazy thing is, it’s true. The Force, the Jedi — all of it. It’s all true.”

So yes, I personally disagree with this ranking; The Force Awakens is not this high on my list. I take full ownership of trying to sink this entry on the list, yet it seems I have failed. However, I do see the appeal. The Force Awakens is the reboot that the Star Wars franchise needed for a new generation. In order to do so, it echoes (I would say directly goes to the Xerox mach...

Per the Coronavirus stay-at-home orders from the government, Rich and Mike cannot meet to do their regular podcast. Instead, using the powers of the internet, they’ve created a new way to do their show — This is The Crispy Compact Communiqué!

Topics discussed: NFL Draft Recap; AMC has a pissing match with Universal movies; and an elderly wannabe Golf Ranger confronts rude golfers.

Per the Coronavirus stay-at-home orders from the government, Rich and Mike cannot meet to do their regular podcast. Instead, using the powers of the internet, they’ve created a new way to do their show — This is The Crispy Compact Communiqué!

Topics discussed: Our first time doing a Facebook Live video; it’s Rich’s birthday; The “Virtual” NFL Draft preview; and analyzing Meth for Coronavirus in Iowa.

Per the Coronavirus stay-at-home orders from the government, Rich and Mike cannot meet to do their regular podcast. Instead, using the powers of the internet, they’ve created a new way to do their show — This is The Crispy Compact Communiqué!

Topics discussed: The NFL Draft goes virtual to stay on time; All the movies are getting delayed; and schools need their IT teams to guard their virtual chatrooms.

Per the Coronavirus stay-at-home orders from the government, Rich and Mike cannot meet to do their regular podcast. Instead, using the powers of the internet, they’ve created a new way to do their show — This is The Crispy Compact Communiqué!

Topics discussed: Rich reacts to Tiger King and Wrestlemania 36, NFL expands to a 14-team playoff, and a Florida Man gets a felony over stolen toilet paper.

Per the Coronavirus stay-at-home orders from the government, Rich and Mike cannot meet to do their regular podcast. Instead, using the powers of the internet, they’ve created a new way to do their show — This is The Crispy Compact Communiqué!

Topics discussed: Eagles trade for Darius Slay, NFL Draft Trades, Jim Gardner hates The Godfather III, and using Coronavirus as an excuse to evade police.

Here’s what happened on this week’s episode of The Crispy Noodle Podcast:

* Introduction — Our Future with The Coronavirus Outbreak* Sports Sampler* The complete NFL Free Agency reactions — What the Eagles did and did not do; Quarterback Carousel; Bill O’Brien should be fired; and more* NBA Owners believe “best case scenario” is that season could resume mid-June due to Coronavirus* Entertainment Entree* WWE will move forward with crowd-less arenas for broadcasts* Mike’s “This Week in Entertainment”* How are movies, music, and more being affected by the quarantine measures of the Coronavirus* “The Non-Fortune Cookie” Odd News* Wisconsin man refuses to let go of cop’s penis in brawl* Illinois stripper gets arrested and has wild outbursts while being processed in jail* Florida Man steals precious $1 toilet paper from neighbor in bizarre heist* What Have We Learned & Conclusion

Thanks for listening to The Crispy Noodle Podcast!

Here’s what happened on this week’s episode of The Crispy Noodle Podcast:

* Introduction — Rich and Mike discuss Philosophy; Rich has successfully brainwashed Mike into liking his favorite band, Ghost* Sports Sampler* 2-Minute Drill: Eagles will let Jason Peters test free agency* After losing Nick Foles, Eagles will gain a bonus 3rd round pick and two 4th round picks — is a big draft move coming for Philly?* The Coronavirus Effect — March Madness and The Olympics will be altered now? (Wednesday night update: The NBA has now suspended the 2020 season due to the Coronavirus)* Entertainment Entree* Only Tommy Wiseau could make Rich like Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy”* Mike’s “This Week in Entertainment”* Video Game News Updates: 2K Games will be making a new NFL game; Horizon Zero Dawn to go on PC; The Last of Us will be made into mini-series on HBO* “The Non-Fortune Cookie” Odd News* Pennsylvanian Man high on crystal meth thinks a “Demon Dog” is outside of the house he broke into* Oklahoma Man breaks into house, is very polite to homeowner and insists he was just hiding and didn’t steal anything* Florida Man arrested for mailing pipe bombs, link was only discovered after he threw his urine on two angry anti-Trump women* What Have We Learned & Conclusion

Thanks for listening to The Crispy Noodle Podcast!

Here’s what happened on this week’s episode of The Crispy Noodle Podcast:

* Introduction — Is Mike giving up on “The Walking Dead” on AMC?; This podcast is now a “Rich hates this current trend podcast”* Sports Sampler* 2-Minute Drill: Jaguars trading away big players, is Foles next?* Is Tom Brady really going to leave Belichick and the Patriots?* Famous Knicks fan Spike Lee claims in weird media circus that he’s “done with the Knicks this season” — how bad are they?* Entertainment Entree* Joe Biden has major old man moment; We hear a 11-second fart that sounds like a car driving on a track* Mike’s “This Week in Entertainment”* We revise the DEFINITIVE rankings of the Star Wars movies* “The Non-Fortune Cookie” Odd News* Can Catholics eat plant-based meat products during Lent? Catholic Bishops debate this important issue at conference * Penn State students in mourning as the on-campus Taco Bell shuts down — RIP Taco Bell 🙁* Florida Man pees on cop car, is arrested while still “in commission of the crime”* What Have We Learned & Conclusion

Thanks for listening to The Crispy Noodle Podcast!

NENNA DISCLAIMER: Proceed With Caution! This episode has been left UNCENSORED. Exuberant expletives, suggestive statements, and obscene observations are left unedited on this podcast. Listener earmuffs are recommended.

Here’s what happened on this week’s episode of The Crispy Noodle Podcast:

* Introduction — It’s our 7 year anniversary of doing the podcast; Mike went to Miami to see the musical “Hamilton”; Rich went to a meadery and enjoyed all the sweet alcoholic drinks! * Sports Sampler* 2-Minute Drill: Sixers lose Ben Simmons for an extended period of time… is this season lost for the 76ers?* We review the proposed Collective Bargaining Agreement from NFL owners; will there be an expanded playoff format and a 17-game season?* Entertainment Entree* Nenna joins the show and talks about her angry fascination with Netflix’s “Love is Blind”* Mike’s “This Week in Entertainment”* Survey says 13 is the average age that you first start to listen to your lifetime favorite band — does this consensus hold up for us?* “The Non-Fortune Cookie” Odd News* Weird pamphlet that lists “101 ways to show you love somebody without having sex” is distributed to 14-year-olds at English school* Florida Woman only gets band-aid from hospital after a local shooting; turns out she had a bullet lodged in her head* Florida Man offers his penis with pancakes at the local IHOP* What Have We Learned & Conclusion

Thanks for listening to The Crispy Noodle Podcast!