The Dad I Want To Be With Mike Forrester

This is Part 2 of my conversation with David Ask. If you haven't heard it yet, start with Part 1: You'll Never Find Your Purpose Until You Know Who You Are.

Resilience means bouncing back to a shape you can describe, and most men were never taught theirs. My guest David Ask explains the difference between grit and resilience. Drawing on Angela Duckworth's work, he describes grit as doing something hard for a long time. What's on the other side is worth it. Resilience is getting back up quickly. David says both work best when they come from inside you instead of from fear of looking foolish. He compares resilience to a basketball. Slam it on the ground and it loses its form for a split second. Then it springs back to a shape you could measure. A man who knows his values and convictions bounces back to himself. Without that, he reads the room like a compass reading the magnetic field around it. Mike Forrester admits he spent years as that chameleon. David calls the alternative true north, a fixed point that doesn't move with the crowd.

Mike asks the question many men carry: is it too late if my own father never gave me this? David's answer is no. He says a father's first job is protector, and his second is being the first to say I'm sorry. Humility covers a lot of mistakes. You can't give away what you don't have, so the work starts with you. Name your core values, your strengths, and what lights you up. Then ask your kids what makes them cry, what makes them furious, and what they love. David believes a man takes full responsibility for what happens in his home. He wants to be the chief hug giver and the one who leads with laughter, prayer, and hard work. He's never heard a wife or child wish their husband or father led less well.

David says identity can't be fully built alone. Quoting John Eldredge, he believes men can father one another by naming what's good in each other. He also shares a lesson about applause. He has sung at one private venue four times under a nondisclosure agreement, once alongside his daughter. Being unable to talk about it reminded him he doesn't need the praise. That shapes his idea of thinking better instead of bigger. Big goals chased to prove your worth never satisfy. Mike teaches that what you carry from your father isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility. David shows how to take that on with humility instead of shame. If you're a dad who never got this from your own father, start by writing down your own values. Then ask your kids what puts a lump in their throat.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Understand the difference between grit and resilience, and why both work best when they come from inside you.
• Recognize when you're reading the room like a compass instead of standing on your own true north.
• Learn why it's never too late to give your kids what your own father couldn't give you.
• See why being the first to say I'm sorry is one of a father's most important jobs.
• Use simple questions to help your kids name what they love, what moves them, and what makes them angry.
• Walk through why chasing bigger goals to prove your worth never satisfies.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:00:20 - the difference between grit and resilience

00:02:23 - why resilience means bouncing back to who you are

00:05:39 - true north versus reading the room

00:06:24 - why your kids need a father who stands for something

00:10:07 - is it too late if your father never gave you this

00:12:08 - why a father's job includes being the first to say I'm sorry

00:14:11 - how to find your own values before guiding your kids

00:16:51 - taking full responsibility for what happens in your home

00:19:29 - why identity grows through relationships with other men

00:27:16 - why he no longer needs the applause of others

00:29:24 - what it means to think better instead of bigger

00:33:30 - how to really get to know someone

Whether your anger blows up in the kitchen or burns quietly on the drive home, it's running a pattern you inherited. Take the free quiz at whatsbehindyouranger.com and see which one you're carrying.

Your kids are inheriting more than your money, right now they're inheriting your patterns. Grab the free audit at yourlegacyaudit.com to see what you're passing down to them.

Connect with David Ask

Website

https://www.davidask.com/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/thedavidask/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/thedavidask/

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

A man who hasn’t figured out who he is will spend his life chasing approval to feel worth something. My guest David Ask lived that way through his late teens, twenties, and early thirties. He’s an entrepreneur and inventor in Nashville, and he’s also a singer and mastermind leader. Back then, he stood on stages wanting to be somebody, or at least not be a total failure. He says he had handed the keys of his life to everyone around him. No wonder he felt fragmented, isolated, angry, and overwhelmed. The shift started in his late thirties. It took a new shape when a clinical psychologist friend, Dr. Andy Garrett, helped him put words to what he was feeling. Today, David says who you are is already enough.

David walks Mike Forrester through how to figure out who you are on a practical level. He starts with your values, ranked in order, along with your virtues, convictions, and strengths. Then he asks what gives you goosebumps, what breaks your heart, and what you’d live for. He explains why the who has to come before the why. Without it, a man borrows his why from his dad or a podcaster. Sometimes he grabs a cause that lets him feel angry instead of insecure. David also lists the clues that you haven’t found yourself yet. They include shame, anxiety, irritability, apathy, isolation, and feeling like an imposter. When you have found yourself, you feel natural, courageous, and clear about what to say yes and no to. As a dad, he works to cause his kids to rise by naming the good he sees in them.

The heart of the episode is what that looks like at home. David describes standing on stage with his fifteen-year-old daughter, Kate, as she got a standing ovation. In his younger years, he would have been chasing the applause. Now he could simply enjoy looking at his daughter. One night, his teenage son, Parker, sat with him on the deck and asked good questions. The next day, David thanked him for the man he’s becoming. Mike shares that he used to be a chameleon who copied whoever had the strongest personality in the room. He says he kept moving his ladder to whatever building would earn him the next pat on the back. David’s answer is that our deepest need is to be fully known and fully loved. This one is for the dad with kids still at home who has spent years trying to be somebody. He wants to know who he is and help his kids know who they are before the world tells them.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize the signs that you don’t know who you are, from anxiety and irritability to feeling like an imposter at work.
• Learn how to name your values, virtues, convictions, and strengths so you know who you are.
• Understand why your who has to come before your why, so you stop borrowing someone else’s purpose.
• See how chasing applause and approval steals the joy from your best moments.
• Spot when you’re acting like a chameleon to fit in with the strongest person in the room.
• Use specific praise for your kids’ character to help them know who they are and build grit.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:06:06 - How to find your purpose in a practical way

00:07:27 - Why chasing what you do never makes you feel worth enough

00:10:47 - How chasing applause steals the joy from your best moments

00:13:16 - Where the need for outside approval comes from

00:16:33 - How a dad can help his kids know who they are

00:20:23 - Why who you are is already enough

00:21:54 - How to love someone for who they really are

00:24:57 - Why you need to know who you are before you find your why

00:28:47 - Signs you don’t know who you are

00:32:12 - What happens when you become a chameleon to fit in

00:35:02 - Why your kids need to be fully known and fully loved

00:37:44 - What grit is and how parents can guard it

Connect with David Ask

Website

https://www.davidask.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/thedavidask/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/thedavidask/

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

It seems there's a nonstop wave of messages saying you must hustle and grind your way to success, sacrificing your personal wellbeing and family to get closer to your professional goals. But is it really true and is it actually worth it? Joe Fier shares his journey from the relentless hustle and grind culture to achieving a more balanced professional and personal life, driven by a shift in his mindset and increased self awareness. Joe emphasizes the significance of setting clear boundaries and managing time effectively to avoid burnout while also putting into place support systems for maintaining overall well being.

Drawing on his early learnings, from his mother's work ethic and his father's people pleasing tendencies, Joe reveals how they shaped his perspectives and behaviors. With his dad's untimely death quickly followed by his first-born daughter's birth a mere two weeks later, he talks about the rollercoaster of emotional lows and highs that led him to reassess his habits and priorities. Joe is now clearer on who he wants to be and how he wants to be present, it's not just about financial success, it's now also about impact and actually living the life he and his wife want to live and call their own. Joe's story serves as an actual example of how intentional living can lead to both professional success and personal satisfaction.

In this episode, you will be able to:

· Achieve work-life balance without sacrificing professional or personal success.

· Discover the benefits of joining a men's accountability groups.

· Explore the impact of personal development on professional success.

· Understand the reason to move from the hustle to intentional living for a fulfilling life.

· Learn to handle loss and build resilience for a brighter future.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:13:45 - The Dynamics of Partnerships and Boundaries

00:15:39 - Quietening the Mind and Breath Work

00:21:22 - Reflecting on Parental Influence

00:24:59 - Transitioning to Intentional Time Management

00:28:14 - Coping with Personal Loss and Gaining Insights

00:37:59 - The Power of Community and Intentional Choices

00:40:09 - Importance of Communication and Support

Connect with Joe Fier

Website

https://hustleandflowchart.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joefier/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/joefier/

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

For many men, asking for help is the hardest step toward better mental health. One small action, like answering a friend's call, can change the direction of a life. My guest Peter John Mather knows this firsthand. He has represented Great Britain in skydiving four times and now runs 14 skydiving businesses. He was diagnosed with dyslexia at five, and school treated him like he couldn't read or write. He carried that story for years. He found cocaine at 18 and had a heart attack from an overdose at 21. Skydiving gave him a new focus, but the drugs kept pulling him back. In November 2020, his relationship ended, COVID had shut his new business, and he came close to ending his life. Then the phone rang.

Peter breaks down the tools that rebuilt him. The first is his fence. What's inside the fence is in his control, and what's outside it gets far less of his energy. The second is one question he asks when work or home goes sideways: where is the good in this? He walks Mike through a simple exercise of looking for the color green in the room. You see more of whatever you look for, and he calls it focus equals feeling. That shift changed how he saw himself. He used to say drama followed him everywhere. Now he says he created it. Peter also shares a writing exercise. Write down what you've been putting off, then write down why. He says the reason is usually smaller than you think. His last tool is for the men around you. When you ask someone how they are, be ready to hear the real answer.

The heart of this conversation is that phone call. Peter's business partner called out of the blue. He asked, "Are you okay, big man?" Peter pressed the green button and broke down. He calls that moment the choice to change instead of end it. Mike Forrester adds his own lesson from early on. He used to open up to anybody and everybody, and he learned to build a real circle of men instead. Mike lives and teaches that a man can change on his own. It's just harder and slower without other men in his corner. Peter's story shows what one small action from one of those men can do. This one is for the man, and especially the dad with kids still at home, who stuffs it down and won't make the call. He wants his kids to see a father who asks for help and is ready to listen.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Use the inside the fence, outside the fence test to separate what you control from what drains you.
• Ask "where is the good in this?" when stress at work or at home threatens to take over your day.
• See how focus equals feeling, and why the drama you keep finding may be the drama you're looking for.
• Name what you've been putting off in your health, work, or family, and the real reason behind it, so you can take the first step.
• Recognize why men wait so long to ask for help, and how to say "I'm not in a great place" to another man.
• Learn to ask your wife and kids how they're doing and be ready to hear the honest answer.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:06:13 - how to focus on what you can control and let go of the rest

00:07:30 - why bad things keep happening to you and how focus creates drama

00:09:43 - how to find the good in a bad situation

00:10:26 - a simple exercise that shows how focus equals feeling

00:14:24 - growing up with dyslexia and the label that stuck

00:21:18 - what to do when you're rejected for something you really want

00:23:27 - how low self esteem fed a cocaine addiction

00:27:29 - the phone call that changed everything

00:35:01 - what are you putting off and why

00:37:31 - why men struggle to ask for help

00:40:16 - how to ask "how are you" and really listen

00:40:57 - building a circle of men you can be honest with

Connect with Peter John Mather

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/peterjohnmather1984/

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/peterjohnmather1984

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

Anger elimination goes deeper than anger management by finding the three filters in your brain that create anger in the first place. My guest Dr. Mort Orman is an internal medicine physician who has taught people to eliminate stress and anger for 40 years. In his twenties and thirties, he was an angry man. He got angry at his patients, his parents, and the women he dated. Anger helped ruin every relationship he had back then. He was focused on what everyone else was doing wrong. He never saw how his own brain was producing the anger. Once he learned to see that, he could undo it. He has now been married for 40 years. He says that marriage never would have happened without this work.

Mort’s method rests on three filters, and he suggests writing them on an index card. First, someone did something bad or wrong they shouldn’t have done. Second, someone or something you care about was hurt or harmed. Third, that one person is 100 percent to blame. In this conversation with Mike Forrester, Mort explains that all three are present every time you’re angry. Most of the time, at least one of them turns out to be false. The trap is that anger makes you feel right, so you never stop to check. He shows how to look back after you’ve calmed down and ask what your brain missed. With practice, you catch it faster. The long-term goal is to assume you’re wrong about something the moment you get angry. He applies the same approach to stress. Break stress into the specific problems behind it. Find the causes inside you and outside you, and work on the inside first. That works for a struggling marriage, a problem at work, or a tense home.

The story that makes it land is a car trip. Early in his marriage, Mort and his wife only fought on the drive home from vacations. She’d ask for a one hour detour, and he’d snap back with a no. When he ran it through the filters, he saw she wasn’t doing anything wrong. His family always drove straight home, and hers took side trips. From that day on, he said yes, and they never had that argument again. Mike Forrester knows that kind of anger from the inside. He describes his old self as a cross between Eeyore and the Hulk, seeing the worst and then raging about it. Mort’s message is that a man who believes he’ll always be angry already has the ability to change. It takes practice, often 12 to 18 months, and it works. This one is for the dad with kids still at home who snaps at his wife and kids and can’t explain why. He wants a calm home where his kids aren’t waiting for him to blow.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize the three filters behind every angry moment: wrong behavior, harm done, and one person to blame.
• Understand why anger makes you feel right, and why that feeling keeps you from questioning it.
• Learn how to review an angry moment after you calm down so you catch it faster next time.
• Use the stress elimination model to break stress into specific problems at work and home and find the causes inside you.
• See how one shift in perspective ended a recurring fight in Mort’s marriage.
• Walk through why rewiring your anger takes months of practice and how a coach can speed it up.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:04:06 - What anger did to his relationships in his 20s and 30s

00:05:31 - How your brain filters reality and tricks you into anger

00:09:24 - The three filters that cause every angry moment

00:12:43 - Why anger makes you feel right

00:16:19 - How one question ended a recurring fight in his marriage

00:22:31 - Why a coach helps you see your own blind spots

00:23:34 - What to do when you’re already triggered

00:25:14 - How to train yourself to assume you’re wrong when you’re angry

00:26:30 - How the media uses the three filters to make you angry

00:30:42 - How to eliminate stress by finding its real causes

00:33:35 - Using the same model to fix a struggling marriage

00:36:49 - How long it takes to rewire your anger response

Connect with Dr. Mort Orman

Website

http://TheAngerSolution.org

LinkedIn

http://linkedin.com/in/docorman

Facebook

http://facebook.com/docorman

Instagram

http://instagram.com/doc_orman

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

Men’s mental health often starts with the basics a busy man skips first, like sleep, food, and the way he talks to himself. My guest Matt Salesio is the founder of RVIVE, a wellness brand based in Toronto. He also hosts the RVIVE Effect podcast. While building the business, he described himself as always frazzled and never grounded. He was doing a million things and felt like he was never really here. The gym, good food, books, and friends all slid behind the business. Then friends started moving away and changing jobs, and it felt like the closing of a chapter. That season became his wake-up call. He saw he’d been putting the business ahead of his own health and his people.

Matt walks Mike Forrester through the tools that changed his days. Every yes carries an opportunity cost, so he now weighs each one against his energy and wellbeing. He caps what he takes on at work. He also lets gut feel shape his decisions alongside the numbers, and he has turned down deals that didn’t sit right. For confidence, he leans on self-talk all day long, well beyond five minutes of morning affirmations. On food, he explains how inflammation tracks with anxiety. He makes the case for an anti-inflammatory lifestyle over simply adding turmeric shots. He names three mistakes many men make with food: overeating, leaning too hard on animal protein, and skipping vegetables. Then he ranks sleep above nutrition. After one short night, he says, the logical part of the brain goes quiet and the reward center lights up. That helps explain why a tired man reaches for cake and Netflix instead of the habits he wants.

The turn came through two small moments. Packing up for another overbooked day, Matt saw his dog lounging and bored, and realized he was neglecting what mattered. Later, he had a day where he signed two deals. That evening he sat in a friend’s backyard over a fifteen dollar bottle of wine. He saw that the life he wanted was right in front of him the whole time. Matt describes it as refinding what makes him himself, apart from the business. That echoes what Mike Forrester lives and teaches, that who you are is separate from the roles you fill. Mike shares that he once ran on four hours of sleep a night and is now reclaiming his health. This one is for the man, and especially the dad with kids still at home, who runs on stress and short nights. He wants to bring a calmer, more present self home to his wife and kids.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize how saying yes to every opportunity carries a cost to your health, your friendships, and your time at home.
• Learn how to cap what you take on at work and use gut feel alongside the numbers when you decide.
• Use self-talk through the whole day, beyond a few minutes of morning affirmations, to show up with confidence.
• Understand how inflammation links to anxiety and what an anti-inflammatory lifestyle looks like on your plate.
• Spot three common food mistakes men make: overeating, too much animal protein, and too few vegetables.
• See why sleep comes before nutrition, and how cutting screens and late caffeine helps you stay present with your wife and kids.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:23 - Why you feel frazzled and never grounded when work takes over

00:04:07 - The wake-up call that made him put health and friends first

00:06:06 - How every yes has an opportunity cost for your wellbeing

00:08:50 - Why a big day in business still ended with a friend in the backyard

00:11:13 - How to make decisions on gut feel instead of hustle and grind

00:14:40 - How imposter syndrome made him hide behind his podcast guests

00:17:55 - How to use self-talk all day to build confidence

00:20:45 - How food affects your mental and emotional health

00:24:44 - Can food reduce anxiety and inflammation

00:28:00 - Three nutrition mistakes most men make

00:32:13 - Why sleep matters more than nutrition for your mental health

00:37:08 - How to improve your sleep starting from the moment you wake up

Connect with Matt Salesio

Website

https://www.rviveofficial.ca/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/mattsalesio

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

Ever felt that your brain is running a different operating system, that it's not like everyone else's? Shane Thrapp shares his journey of being diagnosed in adulthood with ADHD, dyslexia, and autism - and how these diagnoses finally helped him make sense of his life experiences. He reveals the challenges and strengths that come with being neurodivergent, including the complexities of masking and finding freedom from societal stigmas. Shane offers practical insights on how understanding your brain's wiring can improve your capability and efficiency, relationships and self-care.

Drawing from his personal experience with burnout and recovery, Shane breaks down the strategies that actually worked for him in managing his emotional regulation and unlocking his success at work and home. He discusses how finding the right combination of therapy and medication made a profound difference in his daily life, while exploring the possible connection between trauma and neurodivergence. Shane's story reminds us that our differences can become our greatest assets when we understand and work with them instead of against them.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Understand the impact of late ADHD diagnosis on adult life.
• Embrace the unique challenges and strengths of ADHD and autism comorbidity.
• Learn effective strategies for managing emotional dysregulation with ADHD.
• Discover how ADHD can influence both professional and personal aspects of life.
• Empower yourself with strategies for ADHD self-advocacy and diagnosis.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:07:52 - Redefining Masculinity and Advocacy of Neurodivergence

00:17:20 - Managing Autism and ADHD

00:25:30 - Impact of Masking and Autistic Burnout

00:32:25 - Embracing Neurodivergence as Different Powers

00:37:06 - Understanding Learning Disorders

00:44:31 - Advocating for Correct Diagnosis

00:54:02 - The Importance of Communication and Support Groups

Connect with Shane Thrapp

Website

https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanethrapp/

https://www.linkedin.com/company/creatingorderfromchaos

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/CreatingOrderFromChaosConsulting

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

Feeling constantly tense, finding it hard to unwind or connect with others lately? Don't worry. You're not the only one facing this challenge! Many guys deal with stress without recognizing its effects on their physical health and relationships. Owen Marcus opens up about his experience living with Asperger and dyslexia, as well as how he found relief by letting go of stored stress, which even led to him gaining an inch in height as his muscles loosened up.

In this conversation on stress, its impact on the body and emotional awareness, Owen highlights the importance of therapy, mindfulness techniques and genuine connections in handling stress and nurturing personal growth. His perspective offers an insight on how to handle stress and raise self worth. Owen touches on the significant yet simple strategies he uses to help men disconnect from work stress, discover their value and understand the role of polyvagal theory in human interactions.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Discover the transformative benefits of men's groups for personal growth and empowerment.
• Explore the powerful impact of somatic therapy on mental health and emotional well-being.
• Uncover effective strategies for overcoming stress through mindful practices for a more balanced life.
• Learn the art of integrating body and mind for holistic wellness and enhanced self-awareness.
• Master the art of navigating professional and personal life balance for a fulfilling and purposeful life.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:07:05 - Unconscious Mind and Body Connection

00:14:55 - The Impact of Stress on Awareness and Disconnecting from Emotions

00:18:26 - Rolfing as a Somatic Experience to Release Stress

00:21:59 - Connecting Stress to Emotions Through the Body

00:23:52 - Starting Points for Exploring Somatic Practices

00:28:15 - Downregulating Stress Before Returning Home

00:32:51 - Self-care and Worthiness

00:36:40 - Overcoming Challenges and Embracing Superpowers

Connect with Owen Marcus

Website

https://meld.community/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/owenmarcus/

Instagram

http://instagram.com/meld.men

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/meldmen

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

Do you find yourself dreaming about escaping the rat race of a high-stress corporate life to find freedom and a better life? Allan Misner shares his transformative journey of being dissatisfied as a C-suite executive at 39. He faced multiple challenges - being overweight and stuck in toxic relationships despite his career success. When his daughter invited him to watch her do CrossFit, he decided to take action. Then, being laid off from his corporate job became an opportunity instead of a burden, as he was able to focus on his podcast and online coaching.

Allen was committed to his routine – he started exercising daily, became a certified personal trainer and got rid of excess body fat. He was able to train for and run with his daughter in a Tough Mudder race, which strengthened their relationship and underlined the value of having someone for accountability. Some of the things that Allan has been through are evidence of how important it is to be healthy and fit to be able to provide for his family and also be independent as we age. Allen and his family are now enjoying their stress free life, being healthier and having healthy relations on a Caribbean island - making it worth all the struggle that he has gone through.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Achieve a greater sense of self-efficacy and motivation through proven strategies.
• Overcome midlife health and fitness challenges with tested techniques and insights.
• Transform your life through fitness and nutrition for lasting results.
• Discover the benefits of a minimalist lifestyle in the Caribbean for improved well-being.
• Learn how mindset goes hand-in-hand with movement and nutrition for a healthy lifestyle.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:17:47 - Fit for Task Philosophy

00:24:20 - Overcoming Obstacles

00:26:45 - Committing to Change

00:32:26 - Impact of Health Choices

00:34:56 - The Role of Self-Efficacy

00:43:25 - Overcoming Temptations and Creating Friction

00:45:18 - Building Consistent Habits & Fixing Your Mindset

Connect with Allan Misner

Website

https://40plusfitness.com

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachallan/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/coachallanm

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/allan.misner.CPT

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

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A man can break the generational cycle his father handed him, even after addiction and prison, once he stops using his past as an excuse. My guest D'Angelo Stefani grew up in a house full of drug addicts, and his parents put drugs in his bottle. His father belittled him and hurt him. By seven, he was homeless and sleeping in unlocked cars. He still earned his RN license in his early twenties. Then he traded his stethoscope for heroin. He robbed 13 banks in a month and a half and served 13 years in federal prison. He overdosed and died three times. For years he kept his childhood in his pocket like a card to play whenever things went bad. Today he is married, raising his kids, and running Haven House Publishing.

Writing is where D'Angelo's change began. In solitary confinement, he wrote out everything he could remember from his childhood with a small pencil. He went line by line and wrote "not my fault" beside each memory. That practice started the work of forgiving himself. He still carries a notebook everywhere. When he gets upset, he uses a camera check he learned from a psychologist. He replays the moment as if a camera filmed it and asks whether he'd still be angry watching it. He also stopped living by his emotions. He keeps his past in the rearview mirror so he can see which road a choice leads down. Before his release, he wrote a plan with backups for every backup. He had a job two days after he got out, with $20 and no one waiting for him.

The turn came when D'Angelo took ownership. "I put myself in prison," he says, and he means it. That's where change started. Mike Forrester lives and teaches that what happened to a man as a boy wasn't his fault, but it is his responsibility. D'Angelo's story carries that line all the way through. Mike shares how he forgave his own parents. He admits he repeated the pattern with his kids, and he asked himself how he'd want them to treat him. That question helped him extend the same forgiveness to his dad. D'Angelo used to brush off his kids when they came to him for advice. Now he stops whatever he's doing when they need him, and he still holds firm boundaries. Maybe you hear your father's words coming out of your mouth at home. This conversation shows how a dad can stop passing it down.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Use the camera check to replay a moment through someone else's eyes before anger takes over.
• Walk through a writing practice that helps you separate what was your fault from what wasn't.
• Spot the excuses you carry from your childhood and see how they keep you stuck.
• Learn how a plan with backups for every backup helped a man with a felony record land work two days after release.
• See one honest way to forgive a father who may not have known any better.
• Recognize when your words to your kids sound like your father's, and stay present while still holding boundaries.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:05:23 - how growing up around addiction shaped his adult life

00:07:02 - from heroin addiction to 13 years in federal prison

00:08:40 - how to find out who you are when you've lost your identity

00:09:15 - why your childhood was not your fault

00:10:53 - how to forgive yourself by writing it down

00:13:30 - building a plan and a backup plan for a fresh start

00:18:40 - how to stop living by your emotions and keep moving forward

00:22:11 - keeping your past in the rearview mirror to make better choices

00:24:18 - taking responsibility instead of blaming your childhood

00:29:11 - the camera check, a simple tool for managing anger

00:32:25 - how to forgive a father who didn't know any better

00:34:49 - how to stop repeating your childhood with your own kids

Connect with Roman Fischer

Websites

https://www.dangelostefani.com

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/Boston2Tulsa

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike