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Codependency in men can look like a good husband keeping the peace while he slowly loses himself. My guest Josh Tomeoni runs a financial planning company and coaches men. For years, he couldn’t feel okay unless the people around him felt okay. In his marriage, every argument became a mission to make things right so he could feel settled again. He didn’t see the pattern until the marriage ended. A long separation, a contentious divorce, and a failing business all hit at once. Then the pattern followed him. He became codependent with his best friend, who simply took his wife’s place as his source of approval. Josh describes that kind of man as a tea kettle. He keeps pleasing everyone until he can’t take any more, and then he explodes.
Interdependence is the goal Josh works toward now. He walks through the difference between being codependent, overly independent, and interdependent. Many men leaving codependency swing too far and act like jerks for a while. The healthy middle lets two people manage their own emotions and still work as a team. Mike Forrester compares it to throwing a life ring from solid ground instead of jumping in to drown together. Josh draws a line every husband can use. You’re responsible for your actions, and you’re never responsible for another person’s emotions. With his 12-year-old son, he’s learning that demanding respect never works. His love is unconditional, and respect comes from being a respectable man. Near 40, Josh asked himself what his mission would be at 50. Then he lined up his actions, his calendar, and his wallet to match. He keeps coaches who won’t let him lie to himself. He also watches closely who his five biggest influences are.
The heart of this conversation is getting yourself back. Josh noticed that the good guys trying hardest to hold their marriages together often bring the least of themselves home. A partner once told him it was attractive when he disagreed with her. As a codependent, that made no sense to him. It clicked when he saw that staying true to himself made the relationship healthier. Mike Forrester teaches that who you are is separate from the roles you fill. Husband, father, and provider are clothes you step into, and you bring the same man into each one. Josh also warns dads that focusing only on your kids can make them carry your feelings. This one is for the dad with kids still at home who keeps the peace at any cost. He has lost track of himself along the way. He wants to show his kids a father who knows who he is.
What You’ll Learn In This Episode:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:03:49 - Why midlife is such a hard season for men
00:04:55 - What happens to men who lose their purpose in retirement
00:08:17 - What codependency is and how it shows up in men
00:10:24 - Why men overcorrect after codependency and what interdependence looks like
00:13:16 - How trying to keep everyone happy leads to blowing up
00:14:54 - How good husbands lose themselves keeping the peace
00:18:07 - Why you’re not responsible for your wife’s emotions
00:23:00 - How focusing only on your kids can make you codependent with them
00:26:29 - Why demanding respect from your kids backfires
00:30:59 - What happens when your kids turn 18 and get to choose
00:36:44 - How to set your mission for the next 10 years
00:39:53 - Why every man needs people who will call him out
Connect with Josh Tomeoni
Website
https://www.thederelict.biz
https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshuatomeoni/
https://www.instagram.com/thederelictpodcast
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.hicoachmike.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
A few slow, deliberate breaths can calm a stressed and reactive nervous system faster than a man can think his way out of it. My guest Tim Thomas is a breathwork coach and a former Australian Special Forces soldier. He was also a professional fighter in the nineties and has worked in veteran recovery for more than a decade. For years he valued himself by what he did. Then came a divorce. He lost his money, his home, and regular access to his kids. He ended up sleeping on his parents’ couch with a war zone going off in his head. He couldn’t sleep, and he lost six years of his life to pills. At his lowest point, at two in the morning, he started counting breaths on his fingers. Somewhere between fifteen and twenty-five breaths, the noise in his head went quiet.
In this conversation, Tim coaches Mike Forrester through three breaths live. The breath of possibility starts with a second inhale on top of the first. You pinch your thumb and two fingers together, which Tim calls turbo buttons, then lift your chin and open your chest. A quick snort through the nose adds to it. The breath of peace follows. You hold the breath, fold forward with your hands on your belly, and let it out slowly with a hiss. Tim explains why hunching over chokes off your energy and keeps you in fight or flight. He describes the lungs as a medicine cabinet with different shelves for sleep, focus, and stress. He uses a short breath as a circuit breaker when one frustrating thought starts taking over. He also walks through staying calm when money is tight, drawing on the season he spent eating out of restaurant bins.
The heart of the episode is what a man’s state does to the people around him. Tim says a man’s happiness and generosity follow how powerful he feels, and that power starts in his body. He’s training hard with his twenty-year-old son so he can keep up with a grandson who isn’t born yet. Good energy, he says, means catching yourself when you go down and owning it out loud. That’s what lets a family feel safe. Mike shares that he has run a 5K every month since November 2024. He does it so he can join his kids in what interests them. Tim found his value in what he had come through, apart from what he did. That echoes what Mike Forrester lives and teaches, that who you are is separate from the roles you fill. This one is for the man, and especially the dad with kids still at home, who walks in the door wound tight. He wants his wife and kids to feel safe with him the moment he gets home.
What You’ll Learn In This Episode:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:00:51 - How to stay strong enough to keep up with your grown kids
00:05:16 - Why your energy matters more than how your body looks
00:07:07 - How to catch yourself and own it when you lose your temper
00:08:09 - How to turn the hard things you’ve been through into something useful
00:09:12 - What happened after divorce cost him his home and his sleep
00:11:43 - How counting one breath at a time pulled him through his lowest night
00:17:14 - How to stay calm instead of angry when money is tight
00:18:44 - Breath of possibility exercise to stop reacting under stress
00:27:38 - A quick breathing circuit breaker for negative thoughts
00:31:02 - Breath of peace exercise to relax your whole body
00:39:55 - Why the quality of your life depends on the quality of your sleep
00:43:21 - How to calm down before you walk in the door to your family
Connect with Tim Thomas
Website
www.breathworkinbed.com.au
https://www.instagram.com/breathworkinbed/
https://www.facebook.com/breathworkinbed
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.hicoachmike.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
Have you ever felt like you're battling an invisible enemy, constantly sabotaging your own success? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with Ryan Christensen, a man who discovered his own hidden battles at the age of 48. Ryan's journey of self-discovery led him to uncover the root causes of his struggles, including ADHD, bipolar disorder, and autism.
Ryan's story is a powerful reminder that sometimes, the greatest obstacles we face are the ones we can't see. He shares how understanding his neurodiversity has transformed his perspective on life, relationships, and personal growth. Ryan's story offers hope and practical strategies for those ready to break free from self-imposed limitations and step into their full potential.
Are you ready to uncover the hidden battles within yourself and emerge victorious? Tune in to this transformative episode and take the first step toward authentic self discovery and growth.
In this episode, you will be able to:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:04:31 - Understanding Self and Embracing Natural Abilities
00:07:36 - Overcoming Past Beliefs and Finding Purpose
00:14:33 - Understanding limiting beliefs and the subconscious mind
00:19:31 - Overcoming the need to justify existence
00:22:45 - Breaking free from the cycle of unfulfillment
00:25:15 - The Insidious Treadmill Trap
00:28:08 - Overcoming Self Sabotage
00:34:58 - Conquering Negative Beliefs
00:46:57 - Overcoming Inner Conflict and Achieving Success
Connect with Ryan Christensen
Website
www.ryanthehypnotist.com
www.linkedin.com/in/ryanwchristensen
www.instagram.com/ryanthehypnotist
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.hicoachmike.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
Have you ever felt trapped by financial struggles, unable to see a way out? In this episode I sit down with Scott Maderer to chat about how he overcame overwhelming debt and found a path to financial freedom and personal growth. Scott's journey is proof to the transformative power of honest communication, strategic decision making and focused, consistent action on a goal. He shares his experience of paying off over $78,000 in debt in less than three years while earning an average income of $55,000 - a task that seemed impossible at first.
Scott's story isn't just about money - it's about rediscovering purpose, rebuilding relationships and reinventing yourself. He shares how he transitioned from teaching to corporate leadership, and finally to his current role as a stewardship coach, all while staying true to his core strengths and values. Whether you're facing financial difficulties, considering a career change or simply seeking to live more authentically, Scott's insights offer a roadmap for personal and professional growth. His story reminds us that no matter how dire our circumstances may feel, there's always hope for a brighter future if we're willing to take that first step.
In this episode, you will be able to:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:11:25 - Challenges of Managing Finances and the Impact of Debt
00:18:47 - Connection of Finances with Personal Growth and Spritual Life
00:23:30 - Male Communication and Financial Stress
00:25:18 - Exploring the Meaning of Career and Vocation
00:31:57 - Overcoming Fear of Change
00:39:05 - Framework for Inspired Living
00:40:28 - The Value of Coaching
00:41:51 - The Importance of Self-Investment
Connect with Scott Maderer
Website
https://inspiredstewardship.com/livingfearless
https://www.linkedin.com/in/csmaderer/
https://www.instagram.com/stewardcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/InspiredStewardship
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.hicoachmike.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
Learning to forgive yourself can do more for a man's confidence than a hundred thousand dollars of seminars. My guest Yakov Smart learned that the hard way. As a teenager, his self image told him he had nothing to offer and didn't know how to talk to girls. A friend handed him a book on dating, and Yakov read it in a weekend. That Monday he sat down in the school library and started a conversation. It went well, and the real lesson was that boldly showing up worked. That first win sparked years of personal development. He spent over $100,000 on books, seminars, and coaches. Under all of it, he still didn't love himself. At 25, a relationship of almost two years ended and left him sobbing on his couch. He replayed every mistake and was furious with himself. He had no tool for forgiving himself, so he went looking for one.
Yakov's rule now is to release first, then create. His favorite tool comes from the book Radical Self-Forgiveness, called the three letters. The first letter comes from your inner judge, and you let it say every harsh thing. The second comes from your inner lover, your biggest fan. The third comes from your higher self, with a calmer view. He still writes them whenever he feels heavy. He compares it to a shower, and most men skip it and spray on cologne instead. Other ways to release include laughing, crying, moving your body, or letting out a yell. He tells Mike Forrester that dwelling only keeps you stuck. Within about three months of that shift, his business broke through and new friendships followed. He also learned that every broken promise to yourself leaks confidence. Keeping small commitments, like showing up on time, builds it back.
One of Yakov's most practical ideas is what he calls peak setup. He writes personal operating systems in Google Docs for the situations that matter to him. He writes each one while he's in a good state, then reads it before he walks in. He pairs it with a song that puts him in the right frame of mind. Yakov believes the first step to power is taking responsibility for your current reality. Mike teaches that what you carry isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility. Yakov's turnaround began when he stopped blaming and started releasing. For a husband and dad, the same tool works at home. Write down how you want to walk in the door after work, then read it in the driveway.
What You'll Learn In This Episode:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:04:54 - what finally pushed him toward personal growth
00:08:02 - how one small win builds momentum
00:08:58 - why spending $100,000 on self help still left him stuck
00:11:36 - how a painful breakup forced him to face himself
00:13:29 - how to forgive yourself when you keep replaying your mistakes
00:14:14 - the three letters exercise for self-forgiveness
00:19:07 - how to release emotions without numbing them
00:24:36 - how inner change shows up in your work and relationships
00:26:41 - why taking responsibility is the first step to change
00:29:13 - how honoring your commitments builds confidence
00:33:34 - simple ways to release stress and heavy emotions
00:35:47 - how to build personal operating systems that set you up to win
Connect with Yakov Smart
Website
https://yakovsmart.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/yakovsavitskiy/
https://www.instagram.com/yakovsmartsg/
https://www.facebook.com/yakov.smart3
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.hicoachmike.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
Sleep is the one thing we often sacrifice first when life gets busy and chaotic. Yet, it's the foundation of our physical and mental wellness. Dr. Bijoy John, a sleep specialist with 25 years of medical experience, to explore the critical importance of sleep quality and quantity. Dr. John shares his personal journey from sleep deprived medical resident to becoming a sleep advocate, offering impactful insights on how to improve our sleep habits. We discuss the hidden dangers of sleep deprivation, its impact on productivity and the surprising connection between sleep, anxiety, and depression.
Dr. John debunks common sleep myths and provides practical strategies for better sleep, including his unique "vivid imagination" technique. He also explains the fascinating science behind sleep cycles and why going to bed earlier might be more beneficial than you think. Whether you're struggling with insomnia, feeling constantly tired or simply want to optimize your sleep for better performance, this episode offers valuable insights. It's time to prioritize sleep and unlock its power to transform your life.
Key Takeaways:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:09:57 - Strategies for Better Sleep
00:14:04 - Naps and Insomnia
00:18:12 - The Glymphatic System and Deep Sleep
00:25:07 - Supplementing for Better Sleep
00:28:48 - Correlation between Sleep and Anxiety/Depression
00:36:29 - Recognizing Sleep Debt and Its Impact
00:42:07 - Understanding Sleep Disorders
00:44:13 - Impact of Exercise on Sleep
Connect with Matt Hallock
Website
https://sleepfixacademy.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-sleepfix/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.sleepfix/
https://www.facebook.com/sleepfixacademy/
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.hicoachmike.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
Have you ever felt like you've hit rock bottom, wondering if you'd ever find your way back up or be destined to a life in this darkness? Many men face this struggle, questioning their worth, purpose and how to show up in their relationships. In this powerful episode, I sit down with Matt Hallock, podcast host, speaker and author of "The DNA of a Man," to explore his journey from personal crisis to transformation.
Matt shares his raw experience of battling a debilitating health condition, financial struggles and a failing marriage. He opens up about the humiliation of living with his mother and feeling emasculated, unable to provide for his family. But through it all, Matt discovered a path to reclaiming his identity and purpose. Matt emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for your life, even when circumstances aren't your fault. He shares how this mindset shift allowed him to overcome the absence of a father figure and become the dad he always wanted to be for his own children.
In this episode, you will be able to:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:07:43 - Living in Humiliation
00:11:00 - Shifting Beliefs
00:19:06 - Personalized Truths and Declarations
00:21:59 - The Power of Beliefs
00:25:39 - Overcoming a Lack of Father Figure
00:30:57 - Becoming the Man He Was Supposed to Be
00:35:32 - The role of personal growth in marriage
00:37:28 - Characteristics of healthy masculine and feminine energy
Connect with Matt Hallock
Website
manwarriorking.com
instagram.com/manwarriorking
facebook.com/manwarriorking
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.hicoachmike.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
Most men were never taught how to feel their emotions, and many grow up knowing only one of them, which is anger. My guest Steven Solomon is a child and adolescent psychiatrist in Denver who also goes to therapy himself. He grew up in Ohio with parents who did the best they could. He came out of that home insecure, emotionally avoidant, and low on self-esteem. As a teenager, a friend said he seemed like either the most confident or the most insecure person on earth. Early in residency, another friend asked if he realized anger was the only emotion he was in touch with. He didn’t cry until he was thirty. He also didn’t get into medical school the first time he applied. Later, deep in debt and unhappy, he nearly dropped out.
Steven walks Mike Forrester through what changed him. It started with friends who were different from him and willing to tell him hard truths. When his friend Mark recently said he was worried about him, Steven turned and said, let me hear it. He uses a skill from dialectical behavior therapy in tense moments. When you notice you’re too worked up to hear feedback, step away for a minute and come back calm. He describes therapy as regular maintenance, like going to the gym, and he plans to keep going for life. He also says real listening means validating someone before you jump in with advice. On work, he reminds men that feeling trapped drives many of our hardest emotions. He had to quit a job that was making him worse, and he says you’re not stuck.
The heart of the conversation is how Steven learned to go easier on himself. Reading The Body Keeps the Score in residency showed him that everyone is shaped by their genes, their home, and their childhood. He came to see that people are doing the best they can with the hand they were dealt. The real freedom came when he could say the same thing about himself. He used to love holding a grudge, and now he can’t stay mad at anybody. He no longer cares what people think of him. He says the hard work has been worth it a thousand times over. That fits what Mike Forrester lives and teaches. It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility. This one is for the man, and especially the dad with kids still at home, who only knows how to feel angry. He wants to show his kids a better way to handle what they feel.
What You’ll Learn In This Episode:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:03:47 - How to build real friendships as a man
00:08:08 - Why men were never taught how to handle emotions
00:10:38 - The book that changed how he understands people
00:15:07 - Why a psychiatrist goes to therapy himself
00:18:52 - How to be open to hard feedback from your friends
00:20:51 - When anger is the only emotion you’re in touch with
00:25:30 - How to step away from a heated argument and come back calm
00:30:22 - Why you’re not stuck in a job that drains you
00:30:40 - What to do when you don’t get what you worked for
00:33:44 - Why therapy works like regular maintenance at the gym
00:35:09 - How to stop caring what people think of you
00:39:38 - How to listen without jumping to advice
Connect with Steven Solomon
Website
www.getinfellaspod.com
https://www.instagram.com/getinfellaspod/
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.hicoachmike.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
Are you tired of feeling stuck in life, constantly battling self doubt and negative thoughts? In this episode, we hear from Dan Storey, who has overcome numerous challenges to elevate his personal development and take second in the Masters category in the Natural Olympia bodybuilding competition. Dan reveals surprising insights and strategies for overcoming imposter syndrome and developing resilience. He also talks about the power of showing kindness to yourself and the surprising impact self compassion has on your path to success.
Dan shares his journey from a "dadbod" to winning silver at the Natural Olympia, demonstrating the power of consistency and dedication. He shares about keeping our commitments to ourselves, showing up and making progress, even on the toughest days. Dan reveals the mental battles he faced along the way, including imposter syndrome and self doubt, and how he pushed through these obstacles to reach his goals. He ties it all together in sharing how his physical fitness correlates to his mental wellbeing.
In this episode, you will be able to:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:07:00 - Removing Self Doubt
00:12:04 - Overcoming Excuses and Building Discipline
00:23:40 - Consistent Discipline Equals Success
00:27:19 - Handling Tough Days
00:31:42 - The Power of Self Compassion
00:42:49 - Letting Go of Ego and Embracing Change
00:46:12 - Setting Vision and Goals
00:50:15 - Overcoming Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
Connect with Dan Storey
Website
http://www.danstorey.com
https://www.instagram.com/danstorey
www.linkedin.com/in/danstorey14
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.hicoachmike.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
Are you struggling to find yourself and discover your purpose? Many men grapple with feelings of isolation, low self worth and a lack of direction. Stephen Schettini, a former Buddhist monk turned mindfulness teacher, shares his transformative journey of self discovery.
Stephen shares his remarkable story of overcoming anger, frustration and loneliness to find peace and purpose. He reveals how his eight-year experience as a Tibetan Buddhist monk provided him with valuable skills for self-understanding and self-awareness, but it wasn't until he left the monastery that he truly began to apply this knowledge. Stephen's experience shows the importance of mindfulness and meditation in understanding yourself and how a regular practice can empower men to better navigate life's obstacles.
In this episode, you will be able to:
The key moments in this episode are:
00:11:36 - Journey to the Monastery
00:16:34 - Finding Purpose and Acceptance
00:22:48 - The Power of Meditation and Mindfulness
00:32:02 - Morning Self-Reflection
00:33:57 - The Power of Awareness
00:34:39 - Trusting the Human Brain
00:38:33 - Reactivity and Patterns
00:41:25 - Building a Regular Mindfulness Practice
Connect with Stephen Schettini
Website
www.theinnermonk.com
www.linkedin.com/in/schettini
https://www.instagram.com/the.innermonk/
https://www.facebook.com/stephen.schettini.3/
Connect with Mike Forrester
Podcast Website
https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com
Coaching Website
https://www.hicoachmike.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/
Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike
https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike
https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike
From the publisher's feed