The Dad Project

He had screaming fans, number one records and the world at his feet. Then one day, he sat in his car and cried because he thought it was all over.

Jay Sean is one of the most successful British Asian artists of all time. But before the hits, before the fame, before America, he was a chubby kid who loved hip hop, a straight A student who chose music over medicine, and a young man sitting in a parked car pretending to go to the studio because he didn't want his parents to know his record deal had fallen apart.

This conversation goes deeper than any Jay Sean has given before. He talks about the chubby kid who learned to perform to survive, the day Virgin Records dropped him and how the media twisted the story, sitting in his car all day crying because he thought he'd blown everything, the garden shed in Slough where he rebuilt his career with a fan who became his producer, getting signed to Cash Money and conquering America, getting dropped again in 2013 and losing his drive completely, living in his brother's shadow and the conversations they never had growing up, why he gave most of his record advance to his dad when the family business was failing, becoming a father to Ava and how it saved him during his darkest time and why he refuses to let his self worth depend on chart positions, awards or validation from an industry that repeatedly rejected him.

This is not a story about fame. This is a story about resilience, humility, brotherhood and what it means to keep going when everything falls apart.

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Fame, Family, and Finding Yourself
• 00:03:45 The Chubby Kid Who Became the Confident Performer
• 00:16:00 The Straight-A Student Who Fell in Love with Hip Hop
• 00:21:00 The Day Everything Changed: Getting Signed to Virgin Records
• 00:23:10 Dance With You: The Song That Changed Three Lives Forever
• 00:24:53 The Fat Kid Inside: Why Fame Never Got to His Head
• 00:39:53 The Day He Sat in His Car and Cried: Getting Dropped by Virgin
• 00:46:12 The Garden Shed in Slough That Saved His Career
• 00:50:13 When Cash Money Came Calling: America and the Number One Dream
• 00:56:54 2013: The Second Time Everything Fell Apart
• 01:02:00 Living in Your Brother's Shadow: The Conversation They Never Had
• 01:09:46 Two Brothers, One Journey: Building Something Together at Last
• 01:10:40 The Chapters
  • 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Fame, Family, and Finding Yourself
  • 00:03:45 The Chubby Kid Who Became the Confident Performer
  • 00:16:00 The Straight-A Student Who Fell in Love with Hip Hop
  • 00:21:00 The Day Everything Changed: Getting Signed to Virgin Records
  • 00:23:10 Dance With You: The Song That Changed Three Lives Forever
  • 00:24:53 The Fat Kid Inside: Why Fame Never Got to His Head
  • 00:39:53 The Day He Sat in His Car and Cried: Getting Dropped by Virgin
  • 00:46:12 The Garden Shed in Slough That Saved His Career
  • 00:50:13 When Cash Money Came Calling: America and the Number One Dream
  • 00:56:54 2013: The Second Time Everything Fell Apart
  • 01:02:00 Living in Your Brother's Shadow: The Conversation They Never Had
  • 01:09:46 Two Brothers, One Journey: Building Something Together at Last
  • 01:10:40 The $1,000 in the Pocket: Why He Always Wanted to Share It All
  • 01:18:07 The Moment That Changed Everything: Becoming a Father to Ava
  • 01:20:10 What He Wants His Kids to Know: Dad Always Showed Up
  • 01:27:47 The Question No One Ever Asks: You're Still Just a Human Being
  ,000 in the Pocket: Why He Always Wanted to Share It All
• 01:18:07 The Moment That Changed Everything: Becoming a Father to Ava
• 01:20:10 What He Wants His Kids to Know: Dad Always Showed Up
• 01:27:47 The Question No One Ever Asks: You're Still Just a Human Being

The Dad Project is a podcast and community for men. You don't need to be a dad to be here.

FIND JAY SEAN
Instagram: @jaysean (https://www.instagram.com/jaysean/)
TikTok: @jayseantv (https://www.tiktok.com/@jaysean)
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuLaLS3QYnCW
Website: www.jaysean.com

THE DAD PROJECT
www.thedadproject.co.uk
Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/thedadprojecthq/)
Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/@thedadprojecthq)
LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-dad-project/)
TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@thedadprojecthq)
YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/@thedadprojecthq)

QUESTIONS THIS VIDEO ANSWERS

How do you rebuild after losing everything?
Jay sat in his car all day pretending to go to the studio after Virgin dropped him. He cried, questioned everything, then called a fan who'd given him a CD at a signing. That fan was Alan Sampson. They made music in a garden shed in Slough. That became the foundation for his comeback.

Why does rejection hurt even when you've already made it?
Jay had number one records, toured the world, and still got dropped twice. The media said he was dropped when he believed he walked away. That headline destroyed him. Rejection never stops hurting. You just learn to pick yourself up faster.

What does it feel like to be the brown kid trying to break into a white industry?
Jay never once thought he wasn't allowed to rap or make music. He loved hip hop and put in the work. But opportunities were taken away because people didn't know what to do with a brown boy who didn't fit the mould. He kept going anyway.

How do you protect your mental health as a public figure?
Jay learned early that his happiness couldn't depend on chart positions or awards. Everything in his career is unpredictable. The only things he can control are his values, his family and his peace. He protects those above everything else.

What does fatherhood change in a man?
When Jay became a dad to Ava, everything shifted. It wasn't about him anymore. She gave him purpose when he'd lost his drive. Being a father became more important than any record deal, any hit, any validation from the industry.

How do you deal with living in your sibling's shadow?
Naroop grew up watching Jay get all the attention. He struggled with confidence and his own identity. But Jay always brought hi

She woke up one day and thought, I can't do this anymore. Against her family's wishes, against her culture's expectations, she walked away from her marriage with a three-year-old son, no plan, and no idea how she would survive.

Nevine Coutry is the founder of Playdate, the UK's first dating app for single parents. But before the app, before the business, she was a single mother in a small London flat during COVID, homeschooling her son, living off dwindling savings, and trying to rebuild a life she'd just torn apart.

This is not a story about dating apps. This is a story about what it takes to rebuild when you've lost everything and why single parents are some of the most resilient people on the planet.

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Single Parent Dating
• 00:03:08 The Decision to Leave: When Happiness Matters More Than Tradition
• 00:05:55 Finding Strength in Single Parenthood: Your Child Becomes Your Anchor
• 00:07:29 Juggling Business and Single Motherhood: The Flexibility Factor
• 00:09:05 The Birth of Playdate: Creating What Didn't Exist
• 00:12:19 The Miserable Reality of Dating as a Single Parent
• 00:14:14 Happy Parents Equal Happy Kids: The Real Mission Behind Playdate
• 00:15:32 What Single Parents Really Look For: Want vs Need
• 00:16:53 The Gender Divide: Why It's Harder for Single Moms to Date
• 00:19:14 Understanding Is Everything: The Number One Quality Single Parents Need
• 00:21:35 When to Introduce Your Kids: There Is No Right Answer
• 00:37:35 The Bank Scam That Almost Destroyed Everything
• 00:42:23 Fighting Back: Taking the Bank to Court and Winning
• 00:46:42 Why 50% of Relationships Are Ending: The Grass Is Greener Myth
• 00:53:19 Men and Dating Apps: Where They're Going Wrong
• 00:59:01 Be Real, Not Perfect: The Biggest Dating Advice for Single Parents
• 01:06:43 The Fear No One Talks About: Protecting Your Child in Blended Families
• 01:09:24 Building Trust After Divorce: Can You Ever Really Trust Again?
• 01:12:43 The Future of Single Parent Dating: Events, Community, and Connection
• 01:14:43 Final Thoughts: It's Never Too Late to Find Love Again

The Dad Project is a podcast and community for men. You don't need to be a dad to be here.

FIND NEVINE COUTRY

• Instagram: @gotoplaydate
• Website: www.playdate.app
• LinkedIn: Nevine Coutry

THE DAD PROJECT

• www.thedadproject.co.uk
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/thedadprojecthq/)
• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/@thedadprojecthq)
• LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-dad-project/)
• TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@thedadprojecthq)
• YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/@thedadprojecthq)

QUESTIONS THIS VIDEO ANSWERS

How do you find the courage to leave a marriage when your family tells you to stay?
Nevine called her mother and said she couldn't do it anymore. Her family told her to make it work, that it was her job to make the man happy. She went against them all and made the decision anyway. It was the best decision she ever made.

What is it like dating as a single parent?
Expensive. Exhausting. Full of logistics. You book a babysitter, pay for half the dinner, and the moment you mention you have a child, the energy shifts. Nevine tried mainstream dating apps and hated every second of it. That's why she built Playdate.

Why do men struggle more than women on dating apps?
Men get fewer matches, carry the pressure of making the first move, arranging the date, and can be rejected at any point. Women are more selective. Men are more desperate. The odds are stacked against them.

When is the right time to introduce your child to a new partner?
Minimum six months to a year. But there is no perfect answer. Introduce them too soon and your child gets attached to someone who might not stay. Wait too long and you're too invested to walk away if it doesn't work with the kids.

How does being scammed out of all your savings change you?
Nevine was scammed two weeks before Christmas during COVID. She lost everything. Her family told her it was a sign to come home. She took the bank to court instead. Nine months later, she won. That experience made her unstoppable.

What do single parents need most when dating?
Understanding. Respect. Trust. And someone who gets that the kids will always come first. If you can't accept that, don't date a single parent.

Why are there more men than women on Playdate?
70% of users are men. Usually the children live with the mother. Men have more free time. They move on faster. They use multiple apps. Women are the primary caregivers and have less time to date.

What mistakes do men make on dating apps?
Bad selfies. Topless photos. Pictures with expensive cars. Trying too hard to impress. Not filling out their bios. Women see through it all. Just be yourself.

He was told no one would marry him. That his face was a permanent Halloween mask. That if he had a daughter, even he wouldn't let her marry someone who looked like him. At 11, Amit Ghose lost his left eye to a life-changing surgery. By 15, he'd given up hope of ever being loved.

Then one day, a woman from India sent him a message. Three days later, she said something that changed everything: "I'm not going to marry half of your face. I'm going to marry all of you. So own it."

Amit Ghose lives with neurofibromatosis type 1 (NF1), a genetic condition that causes tumors to grow uncontrollably on his face. He spent most of his childhood isolated, bullied and hiding the left side of his face from the world. Cricket became his escape. His father became his anchor. And silence became his coping mechanism.

In this conversation, Amit opens up about the childhood no one saw, the surgery that changed his face forever, being rejected in arranged marriages over and over, the message from Piali that made him believe in love, the wedding her family didn't want, three rounds of IVF, one heartbeat and a devastating miscarriage, the silence men carry during fertility struggles, hitting himself in his room and why no one knew and walking with his chest high after 34 years of hiding.

This is not a story about disability. This is a story about what happens when a man finally learns to accept himself and what it costs to get there.

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Men's Mental Health
• 00:03:19 When the World Saw Him Differently: A Childhood of Isolation
• 00:07:51 His Father's Unwavering Support: You're a Brave Boy
• 00:14:52 The Cricket Moment That Changed Everything
• 00:21:47 The Life-Changing Surgery at 11: Losing His Left Eye
• 00:25:51 University, Grief, and Coming Home: Losing His Father
• 00:31:46 Facing the Real World: Rejection, Dating, and Arranged Marriage
• 00:38:16 The Message That Changed His Life: Meeting Piali
• 00:45:28 The Wedding Her Family Didn't Want: Proving Them All Wrong
• 00:52:52 The IVF Journey: Three Rounds, One Heartbeat, and a Miscarriage
• 01:01:46 The Silence Men Carry: Hitting Himself in His Room
• 01:05:47 What He Wishes He Could Say: I'm Tired
• 01:13:20 Piali's Gift: The Social Media Journey That Changed His Career
• 01:15:19 Walking With His Chest High: The Power of Acceptance

The Dad Project is a podcast and community for men. You don't need to be a dad to be here.

FIND AMIT GHOSE

• Instagram: @amitghose_ (https://www.instagram.com/amitghose_/)
• LinkedIn: Amit Ghose

THE DAD PROJECT

• www.thedadproject.co.uk
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/thedadprojecthq/)
• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/@thedadprojecthq)
• LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-dad-project/)
• TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@thedadprojecthq)
• YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/@thedadprojecthq)

QUESTIONS THIS VIDEO ANSWERS

What is neurofibromatosis type 1 (NF1)?
NF1 is a genetic condition that causes tumors to grow uncontrollably throughout the body. For Amit, those tumors grew on his face and behind his eye, eventually requiring the removal of his left eye at age 11. There is a 50% chance he will pass the condition to his children.

How does childhood bullying affect men later in life?
Amit describes spending decades hiding the left side of his face, avoiding eye contact and moving through the world trying to be invisible. Bullying doesn't end when school ends. It becomes the voice in your head that tells you you're not enough.

How do you build confidence when the world tells you you're different?
Confidence is not something you're born with. It's something you practice. Amit spent 34 years learning to accept himself. Small steps. Repetition. Talking to yourself. Looking in the mirror and saying, this is me. Take it or leave it.

What is it like being rejected in arranged marriages because of how you look?
Amit was rejected over and over. An auntie at a wedding told him: "If you had a daughter, would you want her to marry someone who looks like you?" He gave up hope. Then Piali messaged him from India and everything changed.

How does IVF affect men's mental health?
Men carry the grief in silence. Amit describes hitting himself in his room, blaming himself for the miscarriage and feeling like Piali wouldn't have to go through any of this if she hadn't married him. No one talks about what men feel during IVF. This conversation does.

What does acceptance actually mean?
Acceptance is not a destination. It's a daily practice. Amit still has days where he looks in the mirror and asks, why me? But now he walks with his chest high. He smiles at people who stare. He says, this is me. That's the difference.

He built an empire over 18 years. Then in one moment, his business partner took it all, used a forgotten contract clause and walked away with everything Atul had worked for. His life savings. His restaurants. His legacy. Gone.

Atul Kochhar is a Michelin-starred chef, restaurateur and one of the most respected names in British Indian cuisine. But before the accolades, before the recognition, he was a 17-year-old boy who left India with two suitcases, landed in Chennai not speaking the language and learned what it meant to survive on his own.

In this conversation, Atul opens up about losing his brother to meningitis and going into debt to save him, arriving in London in 1994 with nothing, his daughter nearly dying three days after birth, the business partner who betrayed him and stole 18 years of his life, forgiving the man who destroyed him and why he chose to rebuild instead of fight, COVID, mental health in kitchens and why happiness is a practice not a destination.

This is not a story about food. This is a story about resilience, forgiveness and what it truly means to be a good man.

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Men's Mental Health
• 00:02:13 The Boy From Jamshedpur: A Childhood Shaped by Food and Family
• 00:04:17 From Medical School to Hotel School: Choosing the Path Less Expected
• 00:05:16 Landing in Chennai: Learning to Adapt in a Foreign World
• 00:07:06 Two Different Men: Lessons From Grandfather and Father
• 00:10:49 The Morning Walk Ritual: Finding Peace in Nature
• 00:15:19 The Brother's Illness: Why He Left India for London
• 00:18:14 Arriving in London: A New Beginning in Mayfair
• 00:23:26 Redefining Indian Food: From Curry Houses to Michelin Stars
• 00:27:42 The Brussels Sprout Incident: A Lesson in Leadership
• 00:31:02 Building a Kitchen Culture: Respect Over Fear
• 00:32:41 Mentoring Men in the Kitchen: More Than Just a Boss
• 00:33:08 Pressure in the Culinary World: Teaching Chefs to Ease Off
• 00:36:26 The Buzz Within: Finding Happiness as a Lifestyle
• 00:40:27 2018: Losing Everything He Built in 18 Years
• 00:43:57 The Week That Changed Everything: Choosing to Rebuild
• 00:51:39 Forgiveness: The Gift You Give Yourself
• 00:53:58 Men, Crying, and Letting Go: Redefining Masculinity
• 00:57:32 Trusting Again: Evaluating People Without Losing Yourself
• 01:01:22 Stripping Away the Titles: Who Is Atul Without the Achievements?
• 01:03:31 Becoming a Father: The Day His Daughter Nearly Died
• 01:08:55 Fatherhood and Open Conversations: Raising Grounded Children
• 01:16:42 COVID and Community: Holding His Team Together
• 01:20:39 Legacy: A Good Human and a Great Chef
• 01:22:50 Final Reflections: Failure Doesn't Define You

The Dad Project is a podcast and community for men. You don't need to be a dad to be here.

FIND ATUL KOCHHAR

• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/atulkochhar/)
• Website (https://www.atulkochhar.co.uk/)
• YouTube (@atulkochhar2870)

THE DAD PROJECT

• Website (www.thedadproject.co.uk)
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/thedadprojecthq/)
• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/@thedadprojecthq)
• LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-dad-project/)
• TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@thedadprojecthq)
• YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/@thedadprojecthq)

QUESTIONS THIS VIDEO ANSWERS

How do you forgive someone who destroyed everything you built?
Atul says forgiveness is not a favor to the person who wronged you. It is a favor to yourself. When you forgive, you stop wasting energy on bitterness and redirect it toward rebuilding. It took time, but he chose to let go rather than fight in court for years.

What do you do when your business partner betrays you?
Atul's business partner used a contract clause to force him out of the company he built over 18 years. He lost his restaurants, his shares and his life savings. Within a week, he looked in the mirror and asked himself if he was the person people said he was. The answer was no. So he started again.

How do chefs cope with pressure and mental health struggles?
Atul teaches his chefs to ease off. Pressure is a jigsaw puzzle. Some solve it naturally. Others take all day. As a leader, his job is to help them solve it better. He also makes sure they know they can talk to him. A happy cook makes better food than an unhappy one.

What makes a good father?
Atul keeps open conversations with his children about everything. When they react with attitude, he asks them to step away, collect their thoughts and come back when they are ready. Confrontation can damage the relationship. Analysis together builds better people.

How do you stay positive when you lose everything?
Atul wakes up every morning grateful to be alive. He walks in nature. He notices the small things. He tells himself he is good. Positivity is not about what you have. It is about how you think. Your subconscious listens to what you tell it.

He was 15 when his father died. What he remembers most isn't the funeral, it's being told not to cry, because he was "the man now."

In this episode, we sit down with a man who spent decades carrying that instruction, learning to switch off grief because there was no room for it, and no one around him who knew how to teach him otherwise.

He talks about what that silence cost him growing up, the moment he realised he'd been carrying it into his own fatherhood, and what it actually took, years later, to let himself feel any of it.

This isn't a story about failure. It's about what happens when a boy is handed responsibility instead of support, and what it takes to go back and give himself the grief he was never allowed to have. If you grew up being told to hold it in, this conversation is for you.

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Men's Mental Health
• 00:02:52 The Story Behind Idris Elba's Private Chef
• 00:05:03 The Sunday Breakfast That Changed Everything
• 00:06:49 A Childhood of Constant Movement and Ups and Downs
• 00:08:27 January 30th, 1998: Burying His Father at 15
• 00:14:20 The Smell of Mud and the Weight of Silence
• 00:16:52 Can You Cry and Still Provide?
• 00:20:01 Drifting Through Life: When No One Asked If He Was Okay
• 00:25:03 The Uncle Who Replaced His Father
• 00:27:27 From A Student to Dropping Out: When Everything Fell Apart
• 00:30:28 Assaulted on the Underground: The Wake-Up Call
• 00:33:16 The Grill King: Turning Food Into a Side Hustle
• 00:35:01 Hitting a Red Signal: When Exhaustion Nearly Ended Everything
• 00:37:57 The Airport Encounter That Led to Idris Elba
• 00:41:37 The Cornbread That Sparked Jealousy
• 00:44:48 Me and Sabrina Were Talking: The Wedding Invitation
• 00:45:40 Morocco, Vogue, and 250 Guests: The Wedding That Validated Everything
• 00:49:18 The 40 Percent Mistake: Lessons in Business Partnerships
• 00:50:31 Walking Into White Spaces as a Six-Foot-Four Black Chef
• 00:52:55 If I Die, Bring Me Back Blacker
• 00:54:08 Self-Love and Validation: Giving That 15-Year-Old Boy a Hug
• 00:59:11 Astrology and Finding the Blueprint of Who You Are
• 01:05:28 It's Not Even Their Stuff: The Bullshit Men Carry
• 01:06:25 Vulnerability Is Strength: Unlocking Fear
• 01:08:41 Imposter Syndrome Is Just Something You Haven't Done Yet
• 01:10:33 Leave Your Ego at the Door: Cooking for Celebrities
• 01:18:58 The Room With Slick Rick: An Out of Body Experience
• 01:20:37 What Does the Man of the House Even Mean?
• 01:23:59 Smoke and Soul: Building a Global Culinary Empire
• 01:24:55 This Chapter Is My Turn: Retiring at 50

The Dad Project is dedicated to real conversations about men's mental health, empowerment, and finding purpose, the things most men keep quiet. New episodes every 3 weeks.

Featured on BBC Radio, Asian Image, Luxurist Magazine and Asian CNC.

FIND KING AMAKIE

• Instagram: @kingamakie
• Website: www.kingamakie.com

THE DAD PROJECT

• www.thedadproject.co.uk
• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• TikTok
• YouTube

QUESTIONS THIS VIDEO ANSWERS

What does it mean to be told you're the man of the house at 15?
King was told at his father's funeral that he couldn't cry, couldn't show emotion, because he was now the man of the house. Decades later, he still doesn't know what that means. It's a weight placed on boys without explanation, instruction, or permission to grieve.

How does unprocessed grief affect men later in life?
King describes drifting through college, failing his A levels, and clashing with his mum after his dad died. No one asked him how he felt. No one intervened. The expectation was just to get on with it. That silence became years of carrying weight he didn't know how to put down.

How do you walk into rooms where you feel you don't belong?
King sat in a room with Idris Elba and Slick Rick thinking he didn't deserve to be there. That was imposter syndrome. Once he did it again, the feeling shifted. Imposter syndrome is just doing something you've never done before. After that, it becomes your new normal.

What is the difference between arrogance and quiet confidence?
Arrogance walks into a room loud and demands attention. Quiet confidence walks in knowing who you are without saying a word. People feel it. King says ego will get you in the room, but who you are keeps you there.

She had a miscarriage during her book tour. The publicity kept going. She kept going. She’d never spoken about it publicly, until now.

Jaspreet Kaur is a poet, author of Brown Girl Like Me, and one of the clearest voices writing about identity, gender, and what it means to grow up South Asian in Britain.

In this conversation, she talks about the father who shaped everything, the research that took her to an orphanage in Punjab where baby girls were left through a window at night, the miscarriage she held in for months while on tour, and why she’s now terrified about raising her baby son in a world she didn’t write the guidebook for.

This is one of the most honest conversations we’ve had on The Dad Project. It’s about feminism. It’s about masculinity. And it’s about the pressure that nobody names but everyone carries.

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Men's Mental Health
• 00:03:17 My Dad Is the Greatest Feminist I Know, and the Most Masculine Man I Know
• 00:06:13 Like Father, Like Son: A Poem About Unconditional Support
• 00:09:08 What Women Look For in Men: Beyond the Mask
• 00:12:51 The Five-Hour Conversation That Changed Everything
• 00:14:40 Being Vulnerable Opens Doors: Why Men Should Share Their Darkness
• 00:17:20 Studying Gender Equality: A Master's Journey to Punjab
• 00:20:09 The Window Where Baby Girls Are Left: 60 Million Missing Girls
• 00:25:02 Queens and Corpses: The Poem That Went Viral
• 00:28:13 What Feminism Really Means: Access to Choice, Not Becoming a Man
• 00:30:42 The Pressure Men Carry: Financial, Emotional, and Cultural Weight
• 00:31:57 Men Have Been Living Behind a Wall of Silence
• 00:33:25 Masculinity and Femininity Can Coexist: A Traditional Yet Equal Relationship
• 00:44:27 Brown Girl Like Me: Writing the Guidebook That Didn't Exist
• 00:47:33 The Miscarriage During the Book Tour: When Everything Kept Moving
• 00:48:47 The Ectopic Pregnancy and Being Told She Might Not Have Another Child
• 00:50:01 The Night She Realized She Had No Idea How to Raise a Son
• 00:52:02 Miscarriages Are Hard for Partners Too: How Men Process Loss
• 00:53:50 The Gym Is His Meditation: Understanding Different Forms of Mental Health Support
• 00:56:52 Insecurity, Codependency, and Letting Go: Admitting I Was Wrong
• 00:57:53 Motherhood Changed Everything: Becoming a People Pleaser No More
• 00:59:34 Brown Boy Like Me: Why We Need a Book for South Asian Men
• 01:01:19 Walking Into a Room With a Beard and Turban: The Reality of Profiling
• 01:03:09 What Do I Think of Them? Reframing Confidence and Owning the Room
• 00:41:55 He's Two Inches Shorter Than Me: Why Height Doesn't Define Masculinity
• 00:36:07 Judged by Feminists for Choosing Motherhood: The Miscued Movement
• 01:15:08 The Rape Alarm in the Pink Bag: A Father's Heartbreak
• 01:18:50 Intergenerational Conversations: Teaching Parents With Kindness
• 01:22:38 Quiet Feminism: The Radical Change Happening in Our Homes
• 01:29:01 Pen to Paper: How Poetry Became Therapy at 13 Years Old
• 01:32:07 Closing Reflections: Continuing to Change the World

You don’t need to be a dad to be here.

Questions This Video Answers

Why do South Asian men struggle to talk about their feelings?

They’ve been taught to suppress emotion from childhood, given no tools to process it, and placed under enormous family pressure with no language for what they’re carrying.

What is son preference and why does it still happen?

Son preference is the cultural and economic bias towards having male children over female. In some South Asian communities, it has led to sex-selective abortion and female infanticide. Jaspreet’s Masters thesis found it rooted in inheritance, family name, and financial dependency.

How does miscarriage affect the partner who isn’t carrying the baby?

Partners often suppress their own grief to support the person who miscarried. In this episode, Jaspreet describes how her husband never fully processed the loss, his outlet was the gym, and she resented it for years before understanding that.

What does feminism actually mean and does it affect men?

Feminism, at its origin, is about equal access to choice. Jaspreet argues the same patriarchal pressures harming women are also crushing men, particularly South Asian men expected to carry the family’s entire financial and emotional weight.

How do you raise a confident South Asian boy today?

Jaspreet admits she doesn’t have the answer, which is why she’s writing Brown Boy Like Me. The conversation covers what brown boys are seeing online and why equipping them with confidence matters most.

Clarke Carlisle sits down with Naroop to talk about what it really took to find out who he is, not the footballer, not the public figure, but the man underneath all of it.

They go into his childhood, his relationship with his father, five suicide attempts, alcohol and gambling addiction, the shame of knowing his children felt like an inconvenience, and the slow, difficult work of becoming the husband and father he wanted to be.

This is not a recovery story packaged for inspiration. It's an honest account of what it actually takes to change.

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Men's Mental Health
• 00:02:41 The Most Honest Place to Start: Little Clocky and Who I Am Today
• 00:04:07 The Foundation of Everything: Knowing Who You Are
• 00:10:03 Brutal Honesty With Yourself: The First Step to Finding Who You Are
• 00:14:00 Getting Your Knees Dirty: The Reality of Self-Discovery
• 00:15:59 The Observer of Your Thoughts: Understanding Your Patterns
• 00:32:54 Growing Up on a Preston Council Estate: The Making of a People Pleaser
• 00:38:29 Why Football Meant Everything: The 91st Minute That Changed His Life
• 00:44:20 The Knee Injury at 20: When Everything Was Taken Away
• 00:45:46 The First Suicide Attempt at 21: 56 Co-Proxamol and a Can of Carling
• 00:47:25 The Relentless Cycle: Success on the Outside, Crashing Every Few Months
• 00:49:21 The Validation Trap: When Your Worth Depends on What Others Think
• 01:00:10 Fatherhood at 18: The Daughter He Abandoned
• 01:05:32 Wetting the Bed Until 17: The Pattern That Created a Life
• 01:08:28 Meeting His Human: The Psychiatric Report as a Second Date Gift
• 01:11:18 The Therapeutic Journey: From Crisis to Stable to Well to Maintenance
• 00:18:46 The Watershed Moment: Holding Hands in a Psychiatric Hospital Bed
• 01:15:36 What Children Actually Need: Presence, Not Presents
• 01:23:34 The Daily Work: Acceptance, Gratitude, and Nutella Ice Cream
• 01:20:02 Forgiveness and Responsibility: Doing Your Best With What You Had

Clarke Carlisle is a former Premier League footballer, ex-chairman of the PFA, and one of the most important voices in men's mental health in the UK.

The Dad Project is a podcast and community for men. You don't need to be a dad to be here.

FIND CLARK CARLISLE

• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Mind
  

THE DAD PROJECT

• www.thedadproject.co.uk
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/thedadprojecthq/)
• Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/@thedadprojecthq)
• LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-dad-project/)
• TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@thedadprojecthq)
• YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/@thedadprojecthq)

Q: Why do men struggle to talk about mental health?

Because most men have spent decades learning that silence equals strength. Clarke explains how that belief becomes the gap between who you are and who you want to be — and why that gap is what destroys men.

Q: How does addiction affect fatherhood?

Clarke describes how during active gambling addiction, his children became an inconvenience. He explains the shame of recognising that, and the work it took to change it.

Q: What is the difference between crisis, stable, and well in mental health recovery?

Clarke uses a knee injury analogy: crisis care, rehabilitation to stability and wellness, then daily maintenance. Recovery is not one thing — it evolves as you do.

Q: How do you rebuild a relationship with your children after addiction?

Clarke talks about reintroducing himself to his eldest daughter not as a father giving instructions, but as someone earning her trust from the outside in. Fatherhood is about presence, not provision.

He found out he had cancer. That same evening, he had a show. He went on stage and sang his heart out, and nobody in that room knew.

This is one of the most honest conversations we've had on The Dad Project. Jaz opens up about his Hodgkin's lymphoma diagnosis, losing his brother Harvey to brain cancer, the lifetime of suppressed emotion that he believes contributed to his illness, and how meditation, spirituality, and inner work have changed him as a man, a father, and an artist.

This is not a story about survival. It's a story about what illness forces you to see.

In this episode:

• Why he believes suppressed emotion made him ill
• How he managed his own cancer while caring for his dying brother
• Why he chose a holistic path over chemotherapy and radiotherapy
• The morning routine that keeps him grounded
• Losing his brother Harvey and learning to live with grief
• Generational wisdom, and why we talk about trauma but forget the strength
  

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Men's Mental Health
• 00:02:57 Growing Up in Birmingham: The Emotional Regulator
• 00:06:21 Sent to India at 16: The Making of Resilience
• 00:12:48 From Shy Kid to Confident Artist: The Power of Visualization
• 00:19:32 The Day Everything Changed: Cancer Diagnosis
• 00:27:36 Performing Through Pain: The Show Must Go On
• 00:31:31 The Hardest Decision: Choosing a Different Path
• 00:30:57 Three Weeks Later: His Brother's Aneurysm
• 00:33:23 Becoming the Caregiver: Driving Between Two Cancer Journeys
• 00:34:54 The Inner Voice: Meditation, Fasting, and Finding God
• 00:47:14 Cancer Saved My Life: The Awakening
• 00:47:35 Losing Harvey: The Brother Who Was His Best Friend
• 00:57:07 Generational Strength: Drawing From Ancestors and Gurus
• 00:40:07 The Morning Routine: Two Hours of Sacred Time
• 00:40:40 Creator vs Consumer: Choosing Your Morning Energy
• 01:08:23 Sitting With Emotion: The Work of Not Distracting
• 01:19:32 From Pop Star to Purpose: Redefining Success
• 01:10:28 Savior: The Song That Became a Letter to His Brother
• 01:25:45 The Only Truth is Death: Detachment and Living Fully
• 01:26:51 Turning Darkness Into Impact: The Message of Hope

The Dad Project is a podcast and community for men. You don't need to be a dad to be here.

FIND HASSL

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Spotify
• TikTok
• YouTube
  

THE DAD PROJECT

• www.thedadproject.co.uk
• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• TikTok
• YouTube

QUESTIONS THIS VIDEO ANSWERS

Q: Can suppressed emotions cause illness?
Jaz believes his cancer diagnosis was connected to a lifetime of suppressing his own emotions while being available for everyone around him. He links emotional suppression to physical illness and science is beginning to support the idea that what we carry inside us has a direct impact on our health.

Q: How do men deal with grief after losing a brother?
Jaz lost his brother Harvey to brain cancer. He describes sitting with his emotions rather than distracting himself, returning to spiritual practice, and writing a song as part of his healing. He says he doesn't think he'll ever fully accept the loss — but he has found peace in knowing he did everything he could.

Q: How do you stay strong when someone close to you is dying?
Jaz managed his own cancer while attending the majority of his brother's appointments, flying to Germany for medication, and performing publicly throughout. He credits his wife, his spiritual practice, and the discipline he built as a teenager in India with giving him the capacity to keep going.

Q: What is a good morning routine for men's mental health?
Jaz wakes at 5:30am, drinks water with lemon and ginger, meditates for up to an hour using 963Hz frequency meditation followed by a Joe Dispenza guided session, journals for 15 minutes, and does lymphatic drainage on a trampoline. He describes the morning as the window to create rather than consume.

Q: How does spirituality help men through mental health challenges?
Jaz found that meditation and spiritual connection gave him the silence and inner voice he needed to navigate cancer, grief, and identity. He draws on Sikh teachings, ancestral strength, and the idea that going inward, not outward, is where real answers are found.

She runs one of the fastest-growing safety organisations in the world. She trains women, works with men, and has been in 120 countries. And on a packed train - she froze.

Amy Watson is the founder of HASSL, working to end male violence by changing culture from the ground up, not just giving women more things to do to stay safe.

We cover what men misunderstand about women's daily reality, why healing men is central to women's safety, male loneliness, heartbreak, rejection, and what confident men do differently. Naroop also share my own experience of being intimidated by a man on the Tube, something he’s rarely spoken about publicly.

WHAT WE COVER

→ The mental load women carry that most men never see
→ Why self-confidence in men directly reduces harmful behaviour
→ What men misunderstand about rejection and how to approach women respectfully
→ Why "teaching women to stay safe" doesn't solve the problem
→ The connection between male loneliness, heartbreak and escalating behaviour
→ How social change actually happens
→ Why healing men benefits everyone — including women

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Women's Safety
• 00:02:40 The Origin Story: From Frustration to Founding Hassel
• 00:11:27 The Mental Load Women Carry Every Day
• 00:15:16 Why Society Puts the Burden on Women Instead of Changing Male Behavior
• 00:24:46 The Train Incident: When Fear Takes Over
• 00:30:47 A Shared Experience: When It Happened to Me
• 00:34:54 Understanding Male Violence: What Makes Men Cross Boundaries
• 00:35:48 The Scale of Change: Working Down From Awareness to Action
• 00:52:46 Masculinity, Femininity, and Modern Relationships
• 01:11:26 Male Loneliness and How to Approach Women Respectfully
• 01:20:25 The Founder's Journey: Sacrifice, Death Threats, and Purpose
• 01:26:57 Progress Over Perfection: Meeting People Where They Are

FIND HASSL

• hassl.uk
• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• TikTok
• YouTube

THE DAD PROJECT

• www.thedadproject.co.uk
• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• TikTok
• YouTube

QUESTIONS THIS VIDEO ANSWERS

What do men misunderstand about women's safety?
Most men don't see the constant mental calculations women make just to move through the world. This isn't occasional anxiety, it's a continuous background process. The gap isn't malice; women have normalised these fears so completely they rarely explain them to the men closest to them.

Why does healing men matter for women's safety?
Harmful behaviour toward women stems from unmet emotional needs and lack of self-worth. When men develop genuine confidence and emotional intelligence, the need for harmful validation disappears. Men's mental health and women's safety are not separate issues, they are the same issue.

What is the connection between male loneliness and harmful behaviour?
After a breakup, men often enter profound isolation. Without support networks or emotional language, some men spiral into behaviour that harms others. Men who cannot meet their own emotional needs will always be vulnerable to this.

How should men approach women without making them feel unsafe?
Read the situation. A woman alone at night is not the moment. Go where people expect to socialise. If she says no, move on with warmth, that signals real confidence. Rejection is rarely personal.

Why doesn't telling women to stay safe solve the problem?
It places the burden on the people already experiencing harm. The only meaningful solution is addressing behaviour at its source through culture change, male education, and bystander intervention.

How does low self-worth in men lead to harassment?
A man who lacks confidence seeks the brief sense of power that comes from crossing boundaries. A man with genuine self-respect does not need that reaction. The behaviour is a symptom of internal emptiness.

What does effective culture change around male violence look like?
It starts with men who already understand the problem, equips them with tools, and uses them to reach the next group. Over time this makes harmful behaviour as socially unacceptable as drink driving.

What does heartbreak do to men differently?
Men go into isolation after a breakup. Without the tools to process what happened, loneliness drives unhealthy coping. The path back starts with learning to be enough on your own.

She runs one of the fastest-growing safety organisations in the world. She trains women, works with men, and has been in 120 countries. And on a packed train - she froze.

Amy Watson is the founder of HASSL, working to end male violence by changing culture from the ground up, not just giving women more things to do to stay safe.

We cover what men misunderstand about women's daily reality, why healing men is central to women's safety, male loneliness, heartbreak, rejection, and what confident men do differently. Naroop also share my own experience of being intimidated by a man on the Tube, something he’s rarely spoken about publicly.

WHAT WE COVER

→ The mental load women carry that most men never see
→ Why self-confidence in men directly reduces harmful behaviour
→ What men misunderstand about rejection and how to approach women respectfully
→ Why "teaching women to stay safe" doesn't solve the problem
→ The connection between male loneliness, heartbreak and escalating behaviour
→ How social change actually happens
→ Why healing men benefits everyone — including women

Chapters

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Breaking the Silence on Women's Safety
• 00:02:40 The Origin Story: From Frustration to Founding Hassel
• 00:11:27 The Mental Load Women Carry Every Day
• 00:15:16 Why Society Puts the Burden on Women Instead of Changing Male Behavior
• 00:24:46 The Train Incident: When Fear Takes Over
• 00:30:47 A Shared Experience: When It Happened to Me
• 00:34:54 Understanding Male Violence: What Makes Men Cross Boundaries
• 00:35:48 The Scale of Change: Working Down From Awareness to Action
• 00:52:46 Masculinity, Femininity, and Modern Relationships
• 01:11:26 Male Loneliness and How to Approach Women Respectfully
• 01:20:25 The Founder's Journey: Sacrifice, Death Threats, and Purpose
• 01:26:57 Progress Over Perfection: Meeting People Where They Are

FIND HASSL

• hassl.uk
• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• TikTok
• YouTube

THE DAD PROJECT

• www.thedadproject.co.uk
• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• TikTok
• YouTube

QUESTIONS THIS VIDEO ANSWERS

What do men misunderstand about women's safety?
Most men don't see the constant mental calculations women make just to move through the world. This isn't occasional anxiety, it's a continuous background process. The gap isn't malice; women have normalised these fears so completely they rarely explain them to the men closest to them.

Why does healing men matter for women's safety?
Harmful behaviour toward women stems from unmet emotional needs and lack of self-worth. When men develop genuine confidence and emotional intelligence, the need for harmful validation disappears. Men's mental health and women's safety are not separate issues, they are the same issue.

What is the connection between male loneliness and harmful behaviour?
After a breakup, men often enter profound isolation. Without support networks or emotional language, some men spiral into behaviour that harms others. Men who cannot meet their own emotional needs will always be vulnerable to this.

How should men approach women without making them feel unsafe?
Read the situation. A woman alone at night is not the moment. Go where people expect to socialise. If she says no, move on with warmth, that signals real confidence. Rejection is rarely personal.

Why doesn't telling women to stay safe solve the problem?
It places the burden on the people already experiencing harm. The only meaningful solution is addressing behaviour at its source through culture change, male education, and bystander intervention.

How does low self-worth in men lead to harassment?
A man who lacks confidence seeks the brief sense of power that comes from crossing boundaries. A man with genuine self-respect does not need that reaction. The behaviour is a symptom of internal emptiness.

What does effective culture change around male violence look like?
It starts with men who already understand the problem, equips them with tools, and uses them to reach the next group. Over time this makes harmful behaviour as socially unacceptable as drink driving.

What does heartbreak do to men differently?
Men go into isolation after a breakup. Without the tools to process what happened, loneliness drives unhealthy coping. The path back starts with learning to be enough on your own.