The Daves you know preview the MNUFC season opener against San Jose, preview the whole goddamn MNUFC season, and literally spent two hours sewing together before we sat down for this one.

The Daves you know preview the MLS Western Conference and have a very, very hard time not talking about the Loons for two hours.

The Daves you know give a complete rundown of the 2018 Eastern Conference race and have no idea where Columbus will finish this year, either in the table or even where in this country.

The Daves you know talk Fox Sports North and United's marketing, attempt to parse United's personnel strategy, and debate whether it's better to have one $8 million guy or 8 million $0 guys.

The Daves you know give a robust draft recap, talk about draft and player acquisition theory, and give an impromptu Billy Joel rendition.

The Daves you know discuss Liverpool euphoria, Vikings mania, and Loons lethargy.

The Daves you know recap EPL at the half, make silly MNUFC predictions, and suggest that David Moyes looks like a serial killer cut off Arsene Wenger's face and is wearing it around.

The Daves you know recount United's whisper-quiet offseason, pitch twelve players they want to see United sign, and lament the difficulty of using magic elevators.

The Daves you know preview the MLS Cup final, talk about MNUFC changes on and off the field, and discuss why old people still fuck each other.

The Daves you know preview the MLS Conference Finals, recap a fun day in UEFA Champions League, and talk to RJ Allen of Backline Soccer for an extensive look at the women's soccer landscape.