As season 3 comes to an end, we unwind and reflect on what has been a season that promotes self-care. From topics such as being your own best ally, to showing people who you are, to talking about putting yourself first, each episode was constructed as a building block in the complexity of what self-care is. This season has been a roller coaster of emotions. We had light hearted moments in episodes in which we shared laughs, but we have also had tough but necessary conversations such as calling out and stopping the code of silence on child abuse.

Join my guest Brandies Mevaa and I, as we reflect on season 3, and discuss what this season meant to us.

Special Guest: Brandies Mevaa.

Learning to say no is an important skill to possess, not only will it save you from headaches and emotional stress in the long run, it is an important tool used to set your personal boundaries and enables others to have a clear understanding of what they can expect from you. However, we must also learn to say no in a gracious or polite manner that will not hinder our relationships with others. We can do this by simply explaining that we currently don't have the bandwidth to complete a task they are asking us to complete, or by referring someone you may know and is capable of completing said task.

Join us on this week’s episode as we talk about the importance of saying no graciously, the steps you should follow when saying no, and when we should say no to someone.

Join us in this week’s episode as we speak on a very heavy topic, in which we discuss the code of silence. What needs to change and how we can become allies to those whom have been victims of any form sexual assault.

The code of silence is something that has gone on for way too long and needs to be broken. Many times, victims have stayed silent about the assault they have gone through because of fear tactics. What is sad, is that sometimes these tactics are applied by family members rather than the offender themselves. Mothers, grandmothers, brothers, sisters, and uncles, at times tell the victim not to speak out and protect the offender with excuses such as “we don't want to start any family drama”, “if this person finds out they will kill them and then he’ll go to jail.” It’s time to stop this behavior that puts pressure on an individual that is already going through a lot of emotions as it is. It's time to encourage victims to speak out, it’s time to tell them they did nothing wrong by speaking out, it’s time to protect victims and make them feel safe, it’s time to side with the victims and not the offenders.

If you or anyone you may know have been victims of sexual assault, I want you to know you are not alone. Although there are wonds that will never fully heal, listed below ther are some recourses that can be helpful.

ORGANIZATIONS

BOOKS:

THERAPISTS

VIDEOS

RAINN: https://www.rainn.org/

My siblings and I have a very dysfunctional relationship which stems from our childhood family therapy is ideal However, all parties are not ready for this format.

I have a friend that is open in talking about their childhood trauma with me. They rage from physical, emotional, to sexual abuse he often states states that he wonders why he was the only sibling to have all this happen to, from their father and fathers friend. He sought out therapy in the past but encountered non ethical behavior from the therapist so he is now reluctant to try again. He is seeking a relationship and is a really good guy but I wonder if he is emotionally available. How can I support him? - https://www.facebook.com/Talk2Spirit/videos/150771837146105 (6:48)

My biological father sexually abused me as a child. I have kept this information to myself for the past 3 decades. I finally spoke up and told my family this year. But my older brother still expects me to forgive our father and embrace him. I am having a tough time with this especially with fathers day approaching how do I handle this? - https://www.facebook.com/Talk2Spirit/videos/917829219065580 (31:18)

My husband and I struggle with intimacy mainly due to his past traumas with childhood sexual abuse and my body image issues. We both struggle to initate sex. How can we work on this together? - https://www.facebook.com/Talk2Spirit/videos/148264157354952 (51:00)

With people always trying to tell us who we are or who we should be, it becomes hard at times to remember who we are. However, it is important not only knowing who you are, but standing in your own power. No one must believe in yourself more than you, no one should be invested in yourself more than you. Believe in who you are and what you are capable of, and stray away from the disease of “yeah-but-atitus”. The crippling disease that puts self doubt in your mind like “Yeah I wanted to try doing this but…” “YeahI’ve been meaning to get this done but…”. Although the “buts” should be thought of, they should not be thought of so much that they serve as a barrier to getting something you know you are capable of accomplishing.

Join us in this week's episode, as we discuss standing in the power of knowing and showing who we are.

Decluttering can bring a ton of health benefits to our lives. For example it can reduce stress and anxiety levels, reduce dust, mold, and mildew among other things that are toxic to our health. Just like decluttering our homes, decluttering our life and mind can be just as beneficial for us. We need to declutter the people, thoughts or things that bring negativity to our life. These can be things that brought us joy at one point or another, but are now hindering us from having a peace of mind. By removing said people, thoughts or items, we are in return making room for new things to come. Like the saying goes “out with the old and in with the new”. We need people in our lives that can be our allies, that want what's best for us physically, emotionally and mentally, and what better ally can we ask for than ourselves.

Join us in this week’s episode as we discuss allyship, being your best ally, as well as decluttering our lives.

Join us on this week’s episode as we discuss self-care from a physical, emotional,mental and spiritual standpoint, why it is important and what are some ways we can practice self-care.

Before we can begin to talk about self-care, we need to stop and ask ourselves what is self-care? Self-care is a process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and promotes well-being. With that said, there are different parts of self-care that we have to pay attention to.

These are: mental, physical, emotional, social and spiritual. The reason why it is important for us to pay attention to all of these parts, is because they all interact or affect one another. For example, if we neglect our physical well-being, this may cause our health to deteriorate and in return affect our mental or emotional well-being. Viceversa, if we neglect our mental or emotional well-being, this may cause us to not want to put in the effort required to take care of our physical care. We need to practice all of the different points of self-care, to be in perfect balance with ourselves.

Tune in, and get a dose of this delicious truth. You know you want to.

Despite the negative sentiment about putting yourself first, it is the best thing you can do for yourself and those you love. Befriend yourself, become your best ally. Putting yourself first means loving yourself, taking care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. By being able to take care of yourself first, you are then able to care for others. We become more productive and overall happier and better people. Think about it like this, you have two cars, one has gotten their oil changed and gotten tuned up regularly, and the other has neglected their maintenance. Which one do you think will be in better working condition? Just like in this example, we cannot neglect our well being, we have to take care of ourselves in order to be healthy.

Join us on this week’s episode, as we discuss why it is important to become your best friend and ally, and some of the ways that you can do just that.

There are messages all around us, whether they are verbal or nonverbal. These messages help shape and mold us into who we are. As children, hopefully, our parents gave us the message of unconditional love, and appreciation, which in return would shape us to be compassionate, caring, kind, and loving. As adults, we continue to receive messages, however, it is important to give self messages. Messages that tell us we are more than enough, that we are more than capable, that we are more than good.

Join us on this week’s episode as we discuss the importance of messages received and messages given. How they affect our mental and emotional state, and what we can do to make a positive difference in the world.

With everything going on in the world, being grateful is something that many people forget to be. However, sometimes we have to look even in bad situations that we may be going through, in order to find the positive in which you are grateful for. We can be grateful for an opportunity that we may have, for our mental and emotional health, for having a roof over our head. However we can also be grateful for something we did for others. For example grateful that we had food to be able to provide for someone who didn’t. Being grateful is a state of mind that brings you peace and empowers you.

In this episode we will be talking about gratitude and how this mentality changes your outlook on life.

Whether we notice it or not, our ancestors play a vital role in our identity. They have laid the foundation for who we are. They provide us with the wisdom to help us navigate through life and our problems. They also provide us with the confidence created by the safety net from showing us unconditional love. Sometimes it takes us longer to accept their wisdom or to acknowledge it. This is because our innocence of ignorance as youth makes us think that we know it all, but the reality is, if we pay attention and listen we would gain the wisdom that our ancestors have gathered for years if not from generation to generation.

In this episode, we will discuss the wisdom of our ancestors and the beauty of family. We will also discuss the four things that our ancestors provide for us when they are living in their purpose.