The Design You Podcast

Have you ever felt like your hair was on fire? Do you believe you must accomplish something monumental or reach a specific milestone to validate your success? Does your "to-do list" seem like an insurmountable mountain, and dissatisfaction permeates your existence? It's time for a change. Today, I will give you the blueprint for embracing and loving your life, and together, we'll explore strategies for confronting those challenging days or endeavors when nothing seems to align. Join me on my joy journey, where I'm learning how to love my life. We all have choices, and I encourage you to lay aside those tasks, chores and attitudes that rob you of your joy.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:20] I ask a profound question, "Are You in Love With Your Life?"

• [4:13] Choosing what fills your day and how you set up your schedule

• [8:24] I share regrets of not spending time with my daughter when she was young and experiencing hair-on-fire moments

• [17:03] Continuing the hustle can lead to depression. You don't have to earn your joy and leaning into your creative space

• [22:01] The "To Do List" will rob your joy

• [22:59] I invite you to think about the question, "Are You in Love With Your Life, and if not, What Are You Willing to Change?"

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Everyone is busy. Sometimes too busy. The truth is that you can choose what you do during a day or a week. Make choices that give you joy and eliminate the tasks that you can. Not everything you place on your schedule is necessary.

• There will be moments in your business and life when you will experience hair-on-fire moments. How you think of those problems and how you address those problems determines the effect those problems have on your joy.

• You have to make time in life for your creative space. Creativity doesn't naturally come when you are exhausted and let your "To-Do List" run your life.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

• Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!

• Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.

• If you liked today's episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.

• Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook

• Tobi's Instagram

• DesignYou High-Performance Program.

My perspective on relationships shifts when I view the world through my "joy lens." We've all experienced disappointment in romantic relationships or friendships. However, it's not always the fault of the relationship itself. Sometimes, it's the unrealistic expectations we impose upon it. We find ourselves let down when reality fails to match the narratives of love stories or romantic comedies we think it should be. But here's the truth: not every person we begin a friendship with is destined to be our lifelong friend or companion, and that's perfectly okay. Today, let's delve into the importance of creating space for others, setting boundaries, avoiding gossip, minimizing complaints, and dramatizing situations and relationships. Prepare for a fun, thought-provoking, and inspiring experience. You deserve healthy, joyful relationships; this episode is your guide to making them a reality!

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:50] Today, we are talking about idealized love, romantic and friendships

• [4:12] I discuss what I learned in my coaching certification training about romantic love and friendships

• [7:47] I reveal how my daughter is navigating friendships in college

• [14:01] The blame game of friendship

• [18:31] I discuss the alternative of "what is wrong with you" to "what happened to you" and how we rank ourselves against others

• [23:25] I apply "holding space" for others rather than judging them, how that affects my joy practice and a challenge to listeners

• [29:34] The value of journaling coupled with the joy practice and being authentic when speaking with others

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Women need to recognize that expectations of how romantic love or friendship should go in our dream world are not reality. The rom-com expectations we have of those relationships are not real-life or sustainable.

• Humans have a habit of labeling other humans. That practice is not helpful. When you have a problem with others, rather than labeling them "this or that," you should decide they are not your person. Move on.

• Rather than thinking about a person with "Why would you do that?" or "What is wrong with you," it is better to consider that something could have happened to them. "What happened to you?" is a better way to view someone.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

• Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!

• Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.

• If you liked today's episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.

• Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook

• Tobi's Instagram

• DesignYou High-Performance Program.

I am thrilled to discuss a result of my joy practice: Freedom, or as I prefer to call it, "freeing myself." We often become our worst critics, creating unnecessary hurdles that block our joy. Today, I will share my journey and the unexpected reward of freeing myself from self-imposed expectations. When our conversations and thoughts revolve around unmet expectations in our business or personal lives, defeat becomes inevitable. Instead, let's focus on joy and freedom from self-inflicted burdens. Life's inevitable drama will persist, but the key lies in our response. What story will you choose to tell yourself? Together, let's embark on a path of joy and freedom. Joy and freedom are within reach for all of us.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:42]I introduce and describe "freeing myself," which is directly related to her joy practice

• [3:16] The changes I have made this year to experience freeing myself

• [8:29] Seeing the change in my marriage

• [11:52] I explore the changes in her faith

• [14:27] Freedom regarding food and the way I live in my home

• [16:52] I share why freedom and joy are not related to money

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Many of the reasons that we don't or won't ask for help is because we feel obligated to the person who gives us the support we need.

• Making changes in our lives is difficult. When it involves a person who may work in our home or someone at work, we often don't confront problems or make a change in personnel because it is much easier to live with the situation.

• Many people feel if they aren't a morning person, they must act like a morning person to be validated by themselves and others. The idea of not having a leisurely morning because that's what you want and desire is ridiculous.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

• Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!

• Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.

• If you liked today's episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.

• Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook

• Tobi's Instagram

• DesignYou High Performance Program

I am undergoing an internal transformation, and the catalyst for this change is the conscious cultivation of joy in my life. In this journey, I share my experiences of practicing joy throughout the day, highlighting its profound impact on me compared to my previous exploration of gratitude. Today, I'll delve into the simple pleasures that bring me joy, explaining how they help me stay in the present moment, steering clear of overwhelming responsibilities and diminishing any guilt associated with not working around the clock. I invite you to join me in embracing the practice of joy this year, observing its transformative effects on your mind, soul, and, ultimately, on the positive outcomes for your business.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:38] I discuss unmet expectations

• [2:47:] The difference between practicing joy and practicing gratitude

• [8:49] The freedom of seeking joy has changed over the last two generations

• [15:22] I challenge my listeners to keep track of the "things" that give them joy, and I share a book called Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee. Ingrid points out the little things can bring you joy

• [22:00] I explain why practicing joy through discipline doesn't work for me, and I would love to hear your response and questions about experiencing joy daily

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Practicing joy is a choice. It is a mindset to begin working toward. Remove the negativity or the things you believe you should be doing and experience the joy of every moment. Take the pressure off your day and choose joy.

• There is a difference between practicing joy and practicing gratitude. When you practice joy, every day brings new opportunities to find joy, and you live in the present. Practicing gratitude brings up guilt when comparing what you have and what others have.

• Be ready to experience practicing joy this year and see what difference it makes in your business.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

• Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!

• Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.

• If you liked today's episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.

• Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook

• Tobi's Instagram

• DesignYou High Performance Program

• Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee

Today, I am Introducing our new program, DesignYou High Performance (DYHP), which defies common expectations. Contrary to advocating longer hours, I aim to guide you in discovering joy in your life and work. I have learned that joy is a choice, a mindset shaping how you perceive your schedule. It involves unlearning habits and granting permission to explore sources of joy while transforming unpleasant tasks. Today, I challenge the notion that creativity should only be valued in success. Let's find joy in the process of creativity. In this session, I will discuss the drawbacks of adhering strictly to your To-Do list. Join me in this exploration of sparking creativity and finding joy.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:31] I revel how I am focusing on more joy in life this year and reflects on how she got sidetracked last year by leaning on old habits and beliefs

• [2:17] I explain what a Human Design Reading is, how I have journeyed through the three phases, and how I want to teach listeners deconditioning, deconstructing and becoming a more authentic version of themselves

• [8:08] I introduce a new program called DesignYou High Performance (DYHP), emphasizing joy in your workday and how we should be looking at success

• [12:28] How deadlines affect my joy and what I do to make my day joyful amid work

• [14:40] I challenge listeners to make changes in life that create joy

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• I am grateful to have learned and gained wisdom through the years and am excited to share her wisdom with listeners.

• Striving for joy each day is a more significant accomplishment in the long run than a list of "things" you have achieved.

• It is critical to change your mindset about success. Success can also be the creative failures we experience on the road to greater success, creating joy in the journey.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

• Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!

• Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.

• If you liked today's episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.

• Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook

• Tobi's Instagram

• DesignYou High Performance Program

I'm thrilled to share a brief yet impactful episode with you today. The topic we'll delve into is the experience of receiving a compliment. While receiving praise might seem incredible on the surface, there could be an interesting, unintended side effect of that compliment that can possibly hinder you from being your true self. I'm not referring to compliments with hidden insults; I mean genuine, sincere compliments. Tune in to discover more about the power of truth-telling and how a seemingly positive compliment can have a negative impact. I've prepared some thought-provoking homework for you!

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:21] Is a compliment always a compliment, or can it be something that allows us not to show up as our true self?

• [2:21] I'll share an example of how a compliment can prevent you from making decisions you want to make

• [6:59] The example in my life is wanting to relax but always being complimented for being hardworking

• [8:18] Our homework this week is to take inventory of what others compliment on and ask if that compliment holds us back from being our true self

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Compliments are great and feel good to receive. However, we may not do what we want because we are pleasing someone.

• Taking an inventory of ourselves regularly is a positive way to become your true self.

• Seeking your truth is a lifelong endeavor—a little at a time. There is always something!

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

• Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!

• Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.

• If you liked today's episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.

• Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook

• Tobi's Instagram

Today, I will explore how you can connect with your true self. Like any business, mine faces various challenges, including cash flow issues. In the past, my solution was to push myself to work longer and harder until exhaustion set in. However, I've realized that I perform at my best when I'm well-rested and replenished, which brings me joy. I choose to live with joy and truly experience my true self, and you can, too. In this episode, I'll share how you can shift your mindset and decide to suffer no longer or feel unworthy during challenging business times. Let's explore how to embrace truth, even when faced with financial constraints.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:22] I want to talk about how we justify not speaking our truth, and I'm going to tell you about my experiences and the progress I've made when finances are tight in my businesses

• [6:15] In the past, when I had cash-flow problems, I was frantic, hustling around doing everything I could think of to earn more money

• [9:00] Why did I think that worry and working myself to death was going to fix my cash flow and what change I made

• [16:28] What do I mean by cycling into failure and making ourselves small

• [23:00] I decided to choose joy and rest and accept that I am worthy

• [27:09] I share what I learned about color and how it equates to joy and the ways we punish ourselves

• [32:21] The bottom line of what I'm sharing today is we punish ourselves when we think we aren't worthy

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The mindset you have when you deal with cash-flow issues is critical. Deciding to worry is not helpful, yet we are conditioned to do that.

• You can't judge your success in one bad business cycle. It's important to remember all the gifts you possess to create the business.

• We have to trust that if we allow ourselves to rest and replenish, we will be able to be more successful in our business and experience our best selves.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

• Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!

• Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.

• If you liked today's episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.

• Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook

• Tobi's Instagram

Get ready to embark on the "Truth Series" at DesignYou! I'm thrilled to kick off this journey with honesty. I genuinely believe that embracing and speaking our truth and presenting ourselves without a facade would bring more happiness and health in 2024. Today, I'll explore why we often hesitate to be honest in various situations. We don't have to bear the weight of someone else's feelings. We shouldn't adhere to the notion that we must conform to certain behaviors for others to like us – that only contributes to our unhappiness. I encourage you to join me in pondering these aspects and opening your mind to a more authentic way of living. I've been challenged by the topics we will cover, and I know you will be, too.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:22] Introducing the "Truth Series."

• [3:06] I define "speaking the truth." What it is and what it isn't and choosing to be a people pleaser and other decisions contributing to unhappiness

• [9:02] I explain the difference between "our truth" and "the truth," the emotions involved in truth-telling, and what we will learn in this truth series

• [15:31] When I first began to understand my feelings and the vibration of unhappy thoughts

• [19:58] I outline some of the topics to be covered in this series. Fear, perfectionism, selling, relying on others, and many more

• [23:01] I discuss the facade we all hide behind because of fear

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• There are many reasons we don't tell the truth. We may not want to hurt someone's feelings, or we may be trying to control the situation's outcome without even realizing it.

• Speaking the truth does not have to be done sarcastically. However, it may come off that way when pent-up emotions are released. The delivery of words and voice makes a difference.

• Most people do not want to tell someone no. So, we become exhausted trying to work around the topic, and it would be much easier and more honest to tell them our expectations, in other words, speaking truthfully.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

• Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!

• Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.

• If you liked today's episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.

• Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook

• Tobi's Instagram

The year 2024 is here. Conventional wisdom dictates setting goals and rules, only to stress over them until mid-February, eventually becoming too fatigued to care. In this episode, I propose a fresh, deliberate approach to 2024, emphasizing the importance of incorporating leisure and creativity. What if we adopted the customs of the Renaissance Era? In today's episode, we will explore the concept of "wintering," granting ourselves permission to step back and reintroduce the notion of "moderation" into our lives.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:21] I introduce a series that will begin next week called "The Truth," and remind listeners of the wintering concept discussed in episode 300

• [3:59] The benefits of wintering, an explanation of why my word of the year, "renaissance," meaning rebirth, is my vision and why our culture needs a change

• [10:22] My self-admission and recipe for the New Year

• [13:30] Examples of the different ways you can think about life, work, leisure and giving yourself permission without judgment

• [18:53] I present a challenge for 2024 that will change your life

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• It is healthy for an individual to step back at the beginning of a new year to give the mind a chance to rest. As nature isn't blooming all year, we should give ourselves some downtime.

• Every January 1st, we self-impose pressure to start the year with new goals, tasks, and judgment if we fail. Why not give ourselves downtime after the busy holiday season to regenerate?

• During the Renaissance, people did not work at a production line pace. Embracing a mindset of leisure and rest is what we should return to. Starting the new year with a list of giant goals is not healthy. Slow and steady is better.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

• Ready to make your brand unforgettable and propel your creative business forward? Sign up for my live, one-day workshop 'Craft Your Kick-Ass Brand' on January 10th from 11-2 PM CST. Let's shape your brand into a powerhouse together!

• Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.

• If you liked today's episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.

• Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook

• Tobi's Instagram

• Episode 300

We are officially at the end of 2023 and this is always my favorite podcast of the year because I get to discuss what's gone wrong this year, what's gone right, where I'm headed, and the word I'm choosing as my word of the year for 2024!

2023 hasn't been easy for the design industry, but there's still a ton that I'm proud of and grateful for. Tune in this week to hear my 2023 in review and discover why 2024 will be a renaissance for me.

Prepare to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business with our dynamic live 3-part training: Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!