The Difficulty: Creativity, Meaning & the Hard Work of a Life

Shelley and Chad aren't going to ask anyone else to do what they aren't willing to do themselves. In this episode, Chad puts Shelley on the hot seat. He grills her on what it means to be a 2 with a subtype of self-preservation. She defaults to pride when it comes to her relationships, and a growth path for her revolves around humility. Just how vulnerable will Shelley allow herself to be? As a 2, she is good at listening to others and letting them open up, but part of the unconscious strategy is to avoid having to reveal much about herself. Can Chad crack the Shelley code and get her to cry at least once? Tune in to find out all this and more on this second week of Enneagram hot seats featuring Big Self Co-Founders, Chad and Shelley Prevost.

Next week, we dive into our panels discussing their types, what makes them ticks, what are their motivations, how do they function in work settings, where are their weaknesses and virtues.

Time Stamps:

2:50--What does Shelley think about the rising popularity of the Enneagram?

6:34--Heart types

15:01--The passion of pride, and how 2s have to work on this

21:20--How Shelley defaults in acute stress

29:01--How Shelley works with her arrows point at her 4 and 8

35:00--How Shelley sometimes has to name her emotions

36:35--How Shelley began to get traction with the Enneagram as a tool for growth when she gave herself to the system of the Enneagram

Ready to unlock your potential? Check out our Enneagram Guide at bigselfschool.com/enneagram.

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Shelley and Chad aren't going to ask anyone else to do what they aren't willing to do themselves. In this episode, Shelley puts Chad on the hot seat. What has the Enneagram taught him about himself? What insights has it led to for personal growth? Where is he aware he still has work to do? What's so special about an Enneagram 4 (sexual subtype) anyway? Will Chad crack under the pressure? All this and more on today's special Enneagram deep dive.

Time Stamps:

3:35-How fours need to think they're special

9:37-Overview of the heart, head, and body types

11:40-How sadness shows up for fours

13:08-How learning the subtypes really helped in understanding exactly who Chad was

17:40-How authenticity feels for a four

22:40-The issue of inferiority versus superiority

26:17-Dealing with the humility of failure

45:50-The growth path as Chad currently sees it

54:13-The arrows in growth and stress for a four

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This week we speak with Dan Cumberland, the CEO of UpsideBuilders and Host of The Meaning Movement to talk about how we can get more out of a career change. Dan is on a mission to 'shake people awake' when it comes to their careers and what they want to do with their lives. There is a common misconception that your career is where your purpose is found when in fact, what you do for work is simply an opportunity to flex the muscles of what makes you happy, what fulfills you. 

Time Stamps:

4:00: Dan realized that the youth ministry wasn't for him

7:49: What are the voices that are misguiding

12:03: What is your working definition of calling

19:11: So how does that fit into your framework and how you think about callings

29:50: I don't think failure is necessary, but I but it's, there's usually that inciting incident and to use that language again, that's like something that pushes us over the edge.

36:57: I am extremely relational and emotional

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Gregg Levoy writes that we must be willing to get shaken up, “to submit ourselves to the dark blossoming of chaos” in order to continue growing. People tend to search for answers about their purpose more when they’re confronted by a problem, or when there is something uncomfortable in their life. Levoy has written from a multifaceted lens about calling.

"Listen from down below if you want to hear from above," says Levoy.

On this week's episode in the Callings series, Levoy shares his wisdom on everything from how to invoke your call, to whether a call is a right or a privilege, to how to listen, and even the consequences of following your call or NOT following.

Time Stamps:

2:15: How do you invoke a call?

7:05: Gregg's definition of callings

12:15: The wonderful Jewish proverb about listening from below to hear from above

18:40: Is it a privilege to pursue one's call in the first place?

21:15: Most people know it when they're in alignment with themselves

26:30: An example of someone who just stuck with it

34:27: On maybe not meditating some times

44:22: On managing paradox better

Find Gregg and his book, Callings, at his site here.

If you’re interested in callings go to Big Self School.com/corevalues and download the free activity we’ve created for you to get clear on your core values. It’s fun. It takes 15 minutes, and we believe core values are a critical component of your callings work.

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Many people never discern their callings. On this week's Big Self Podcast we discuss what people misunderstand or resist about understanding and interpreting their calling (or sense of purpose and fulfillment in life). We touch on whether or not you have one True Call (with a capital C), whether or not your calling is really your vocation, as well as what it means to trust your intuition and embrace your shadow side.

This bonus episode was originally a LIVE episode on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. We are happy to bring it to you as a follow-up to an earlier episode where we discuss your five (count 'em, five) callings.

Knowing what you value is a critical first step in discerning your callings because it’s an indispensable part of knowing who you are. Your values tether you to your authentic self and they illuminate the way you should go. Download the Core Values workbook for free to get started.

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Jerry Colonna is a professional coach, known for his unique teachings on entrepreneurship and business psychology. He is a co-founder and CEO of the executive coaching and leadership development company, Reboot and is the host of the Reboot Podcast if you’re looking for another great podcast. Among other things, he teaches leaders to embrace extreme challenges (as opposed to avoidance) and take time to discover the 'self' through introspection. 

His book Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up is a must-read.

In this episode, you get a clear picture of how Jerry coaches, his concept of radical inquiry, and he offers his insights into how to do more while maintaining the practice of remaining your authentic self.

Time Stamps:

1:15: Shelley says, "I think I'm gonna cry" while welcoming Jerry to the show

4:45: Shelley asks Jerry to share about his own crucible moment

12:53: Jerry brings the conversation back to "calling"

15:15: Shelley asks Jerry if it took failure in order to come to the learning point moment

20:32: Jerry discusses listening to the inner voice and even gives it a name

25:35: Chad asks Jerry a complicated series of questions on calling and listening to the inner voice, and Jerry attempts to tie it altogether

33:35: Shelley talks about having a "death grip" on what she thought she was supposed to do

35:00: Failure is not necessary, the question is how you respond to life events

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Shelley and Chad kick off Season 2 with a series on "callings." In this week's episode, the co-hosts tee off the subject with their own working definition of what calling is and then dive into their own five-part framework for how to discern and build your callings.

Let us hear your calling stories. What are the most inspiring stories of people who have clearly found their callings? 

In what ways would you say you have found your calling already? How do you know who you are already? 

In what ways would you say you are still looking for your calling?

If you’re interested in callings go to Big Self School.com/corevalues and download the free activity we’ve created for you to get clear on your core values. It’s fun. It takes 15 minutes, and we believe core values are a critical component of your callings work.

Time Stamps:

4:14: Your callings are the experiences you co-create with something bigger than yourself.

6:45: The five ways you are called, starting with you are called to grow

12:53: You are called to connect

16:20: You are called to contribute

21:36: You are called to play

26:17: You are called to create

27:57: Entering a flow state

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Although Tara Well calls herself a “mirror-gazing expert,” what this really means is that she helps people find a way back into themselves. She does that by teaching self-compassion through Mirror Meditation.

After many years of disregarding her feelings, Tara found that something as simple as looking into the mirror can help with self-awareness and emotional regulation. Now, she shares her method with others — and it seems to be working miracles.

But those miracles are well-backed by science. Tara is an associate psychology professor at Barnard College of Columbia University, where she teaches the theoretical base for her mirror work. On top of that, she writes a column for Psychology Today called The Clarity.

Time Stamp:

2:41 Tara explains Mirror Meditation 

5:47 Tara shares the challenges that people face with Mirror Meditation 

10:49 Self awareness and body awareness as part of Mirror Meditation 

13:09 The first shift Tara sees in her clients once they start Mirror Meditation 

15:35  Finding your true self under the layer of self criticism 

17:45 The power of self talk and techniques to manage your inner critic 

19:22 The technique of video journaling 

26:53 Video journaling and its impact on image management 

31:36 The mirror and narcissism 

38:10 Tara shares how people react when she tells them that she is a Mirror Gazing Expert 

39:36 Shelley shares a quote from Joseph Campbell 

41:51 Tara shares about her book and where you can find her

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Jordan believes that personal development is a never-ending process of imagining who you want to be, interpreting why you want to be that person, creating a plan to get there, and then implementing that plan in the most enjoyable and fulfilling way possible.

He helps guide people to think differently and make daring changes in their lives. Jordan is trailblazing in the personal development field by using creative storytelling to allow people to gather their own insights from the characters he creates and the stories he shares.

He’s a former startup founder, restaurant manager, and soccer goalie. A solopreneur, podcast host, and 2x TEDx speaker, he is also the #1 bestselling author of Getting COMFY: Your Morning Guide to Daily Happiness and The Journey to Cloud Nine.

Freebie from Jordan: 61 of the Best Personal Development Books Summarized in One Sentence.

Time Stamps:

2:20 Jordan shares about his soccer journey and the experience of close but no cigar

9:27 How that same theme carried over into his experience when trying to get a consulting job 

11:46 Jordan shares what these experiences revealed to him about life 

13:34 How this experience led him to where he is today 

18:06 The conversation shifts to the topic of luck 

21:17 Jordan shares his life motto

22:33 Shelley shares a story that speaks to the power of reframing and rethinking about challenges in life

26.22 Three ways to redirect when things aren’t working out 

28:54 Shelley talks more deeply about failure and ego

30:36 Jordan explains why he is more open to failure at this point in his life 

32:29 Jordan shares about his morning routine and explains the C.O.M.F.Y acronym  

38:59 His No News Challenge

41:32 Where to find Jordan

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Emily is a master certified coach who specializes in executive leadership and career coaching. She has seventeen years of corporate human resources experience; practical experience from more than 2,500 hours of coaching; and a deep understanding of the human mind, spirit, and potential. 

Chad: Her clients range from seasoned executives to emerging leaders, to career changers who utilize her support to close the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Emily’s ontological approach allows individuals to clarify their goals, shift beliefs and habits, take risks, execute brilliance, and make quantum leaps rather than incremental improvements. 

Check her out here, or go straight to her book, The New Golden Rule.

Time Stamps:

1:48 Emily shares about the new golden rule 

3:53 Emily talks about the bumpy road that got her to discover the new golden rule 

9:18 Emily shares how her real transformation happened when she learned to ask for support 

11:46 The new golden rule as a unisex message and how men struggle with this as well 

14:55 How to know what you really need

17:52 Emily explains why it’s so important to retrain the people in our lives 

19:29 Emily shares her fundamental belief that there are two sides of self 

23:22 How to find the confidence to clarify your needs, communicate them and maintain them

24:42 We discuss fear of failure 

26:24 Shifting to a growth mindset and committing to the work over looking for a quick fix 

27:40 The importance of community 

30:56 Emily talks about the importance of self awareness 

33:27 Emily shares about her book: The New Golden Rule 

35:21 Emily shares the practice and routines that work for her 

38:21 Where to find Emily 

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