The Dinner Party Show

Our craziest “special correspondents” are all on (the pool) deck for this very special Oscar special, live from the home of West Hollywood’s most pretentious couple, Brock and Bastian. Fairly imbalanced newsman Breck Artery tries to bring order to the proceedings after hosts Christopher and Eric are locked in the social media room. Critic-at-large Jordan Ampersand delivers wretched red carpet coverage while tackling such pressing industry questions as, “Why was Sandra Bullock in that stupid outfit for all of GRAVITY?” The Oscars, West Hollywood and the nominees all get skewered in this very special Oscar special.

Our craziest “special correspondents” are all on (the pool) deck for this very special Oscar special, live from the home of West Hollywood’s most pretentious couple, Brock and Bastian. Fairly imbalanced newsman Breck Artery tries to bring order to the proceedings after hosts Christopher and Eric are locked in the social media room. Critic-at-large Jordan Ampersand delivers wretched red carpet coverage while tackling such pressing industry questions as, “Why was Sandra Bullock in that stupid outfit for all of GRAVITY?” The Oscars, West Hollywood and the nominees all get skewered in this very special Oscar special.

Christopher and Eric interact live with their beloved Party People via the show’s Facebook page. No comment is too inappropriate, no question is off limits. Enough with all those fancy-pants celebrities. Tonight, YOU’RE the guest!

Christopher and Eric interact live with their beloved Party People via the show’s Facebook page. No comment is too inappropriate, no question is off limits. Enough with all those fancy-pants celebrities. Tonight, YOU’RE the guest!

Armistead Maupin joins Christopher and Eric for an intimate and lively conversation about his latest novel, the final installment in his beloved TALES OF THE CITY series, THE DAYS OF ANNA MADRIGAL. Along the way Armistead answers questions from the Party People and shares witty, nostalgic tales of his storied career. Christopher and Eric agree; this episode is one of their finest.

Armistead Maupin joins Christopher and Eric for an intimate and lively conversation about his latest novel, the final installment in his beloved TALES OF THE CITY series, THE DAYS OF ANNA MADRIGAL. Along the way Armistead answers questions from the Party People and shares witty, nostalgic tales of his storied career. Christopher and Eric agree; this episode is one of their finest.

 

I once wrote in a novel that Hollywood was a town where you could die of encouragement.

ARMISTEAD MAUPIN

The Dinner Party Show Podcast — Ep. 61Armistead Maupin Interview Transcript

{This transcript is the Armistead Maupin interview portion of Episode 61}{This transcript is provided as a courtesy and was transcribed as best as possible. Any errors or omissions in the transcript are unintentional. The recorded audio file of the podcast episode is considered the master of what was said.}

Announcer: You're listening to the Dinner Party Show with Christopher Rice and Eric Shaw Quinn, where the soup is hot, but the heads are hotter.

Christopher Rice: In 1971, Armistead Maupin was working as a newspaper reporter when he was assigned to the San Francisco Bureau of the Associated Press.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Thank goodness.

Christopher Rice: Just six years later, he launched his groundbreaking Tales of the City as a serial in the San Francisco Chronicle. The resulting series now spans seven volumes, and Armistead Maupin joins us today to talk about the latest. It's called The Days of Anna Madrigal, and to the great sadness of many it is, he claims, the final installment in this beloved and groundbreaking series, which forever changed the way the world saw San Francisco, gay people, and Beach Blanket Babylon. Armistead Maupin. We are thrilled to welcome you to The Dinner Party Show this evening, and we want to tell everyone that we just got the news that the book debuted at number seven-

Eric Shaw Quinn: Congratulations.

Christopher Rice: On the New York Times bestseller list.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Congratulations.

Armistead Maupin: I just got it myself. I'm over the moon.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Here to celebrate.

Armistead Maupin: It's never happened to me before. I'm 69 years old, and I've made the extended list and had that thing of hoping that the next week it would tip over.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Right.

Christopher Rice: Really?

Armistead Maupin: Uh-huh, because then you get to call yourself a New York Times bestseller…

Eric Shaw Quinn: Well, I'm so glad we could celebrate!

 Christopher Rice : Right, right.

Armistead Maupin: …if you make the extended list. But I've never gotten this high up. And I'm higher than... Well, she's only been on the list for two years, Gillian Flynn.

Christopher Rice: Oh, Gone Girl. Right, right, right.

Armistead Maupin: Whose novel I absolutely love and gobbled down.

Christopher Rice: Uh-huh.

Eric Shaw Quinn: But it is really time. It's just indiscreet to remain on the list this long.

Christopher Rice: I know, it's-

Eric Shaw Quinn: It's just rude. It's time to go.

Christopher Rice: Well, do you remember children's books used to remain on the list for years and years and years before people complained and they made a separate bestseller list for children's books.

Armistead Maupin: A separate thing, yeah.

Christopher Rice: Well, that's wonderful. Congratulations.

Armistead Maupin: Thank you very much.

Eric Shaw Quinn: That's really... Well, we have champagne. We'll crack it open if you're in the mood.

Armistead Maupin: Oh, I'm happy with this little tea party going on here.

Christopher Rice: Good. We always get you tea.

Armistead Maupin: And I must say, I had no idea you had these lavish surroundings. It's perfectly suited for something called The Dinner Party Show.

Christopher Rice:  Absolutely.

Eric Shaw Quinn: That was what we were shooting for.

Armistead Maupin: You have to walk into a sleazy motel to get to it.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Now, don't give away all our secrets, Armistead.

Christopher Rice: We don't want people to know exactly where it is.

Armistead Maupin:  Yeah. Yeah, it's really funny.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Heaven forbid. Yeah, some of the neighbors are like, "Really? That's right across the street? Well, great. Okay."

Christopher Rice: Let's just say the surrounding businesses are all businesses we don't want to use as points of orientation when we give directions.

Armistead Maupin: Oh, okay.

Christopher Rice: So we have to say, "Go in the western direction on this boulevard."

Armistead Maupin: Well, it's also a very... I mean, I lived here, this is my old neighborhood. I lived here.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Is it?

Armistead Maupin: I lived at the Chateau Marmont for three months in 1979. So I wandered up and down the strip.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Right.

Christopher Rice: Mm-hmm.

Eric Shaw Quinn: And that really is the neighbor. That's the monument we use, since it's right there.

Armistead Maupin: Yeah. Yeah. My instructions said, "Just to the left of the Pink Taco." I said, "A what?"

Christopher Rice: Right.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Yeah. That was one of those arrivals.

Armistead Maupin: I thought it was a strip club. Apparently. It's actually a taco joint.

Christopher Rice: It was a tacos place.

Eric Shaw Quinn: The strip club's across the street.

Christopher Rice: Yeah. Yeah. The neighborhood has changed a lot since you lived at the Chateau Marmont.

Armistead Maupin: Oh, man. But it's still, the great success of the moment…

Eric Shaw Quinn: It's the strip.

Armistead Maupin: …is heralded by whatever is painted largest.

Christopher Rice: Yes.

Armistead Maupin: I have the Girls billboard right in my…

Eric Shaw Quinn: Oh, yes. She is..

Armistead Maupin: …in my window at the Mondrian.

Eric Shaw Quinn: The Inescapable Lena Dunham. 

Christopher Rice:

Lena Dunham, yeah.

Armistead Maupin: Lena Dunham.

Christopher Rice: There's certain apartment buildings where they should say, if you're going to live here, you better really like what's on HBO, because they own that billboard.

Armistead Maupin: You'll be looking at it.

Christopher Rice: Out your window.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Giant eyes.

Armistead Maupin: When I was at The Chateau Marmont, I was in one of the... I don't think they're called bungalows, but the smaller freestanding things there. And there was the giant billboard for the Paul Schrader movie Hardcore.

Christopher Rice: Oh, right.

Armistead Maupin: And it said, "Oh my God, that's my daughter." That's what it said over my bungalow. And I applied it very personally, because every night I wandered down Fairfax to Basic Plumbing, the sex club down on Fairfax. And…

Eric Shaw Quinn: I wonder if that's still there. I think that's…

Armistead Maupin: No, it's not. It's long gone.

Christopher Rice: It's probably a Chinese restaurant.

Eric Shaw Quinn: It's such a great... It's like a name you'd make up for one of your…

Armistead Maupin: Oh, it was perfect.

Eric Shaw Quinn: …for one of your books. It's better than any of the names I've heard.

Armistead Maupin: It was weird, though, because it was right next to the deserted Jay Sebring salon, so it had the ghost of the Manson murders right next door to it.

Eric Shaw Quinn: I love zoning in Los Angeles.

Armistead Maupin: Yeah.

Eric Shaw Quinn: It's so exciting.

Armistead Maupin: Yeah.

Eric Shaw Quinn: And a children's theater.

Christopher Rice: Right.

Armistead Maupin: And I would leave Basic Plumbing and walk back up to the strip and go and have tapioca at Greenblatt's.

Christopher Rice: Oh, yeah. Greenblatt's is still there.

Armistead Maupin: Yeah.

Christopher Rice: Greenblatt's will always be there.

Eric Shaw Quinn: It's still wonderful.

Armistead Maupin: Loved it. I don't know what the tapioca thing was about on my part, but I…

Eric Shaw Quinn: It was a thing.

Armistead Maupin: Yeah.

Christopher Rice: Well, you know, were in good company. Celestially, at least, because apparently F. Scott Fitzgerald had his last meal from Greenblatt's.

Armistead Maupin: Oh, I thought you were still talking about Basic Plumbing.

Christopher Rice: He also went to Basic Plumbing.

Eric Shaw Quinn: He may have had his last meal there.

Christopher Rice: He had to get away from…

Armistead Maupin: [inaudible 00:05:00] Really? His last meal was at…

Christopher Rice: He got away from Zelda at Basic Plumbing. No. Yes. Yes. His last meal was apparently from there. He was in bad shape, so he couldn't go out, and so they brought him a meal from Greenblatt's Delicatessen.

Armistead Maupin: Well, I loved it, because I could really wallow in the romance of Old Hollywood. I mean, the Garden of Allah was no longer there across the street from the Chateau, but I knew where it was. And I ate at Schwab's every morning.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Oh. Schwab's was still there.

Armistead Maupin: Schwab's was still there.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Oh, wow.

Armistead Maupin: And one day I sat next to Hiram Keller, who was the cute brunette in Satyricon.

Eric Shaw Quinn: God, Satyricon. Fellini.

Armistead Maupin: Yeah.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Long time ago. I can vaguely remember that.

Armistead Maupin: I don't think he'd worked since the Satyricon, but…

Eric Shaw Quinn: That would do it, yeah.

Armistead Maupin: But I would buy the Hollywood Reporter every morning. Tales of the City, my first novel, had been acquired by Warner Brothers, and I thought that meant any second now it would be a movie.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Oh, wouldn't that be nice?

Christopher Rice: Right?

Eric Shaw Quinn: Oh, development.

Armistead Maupin: I know. I once wrote in a novel that Hollywood was a town where you could die of encouragement.

Eric Shaw Quinn: Yes, absolutely. I always said that…

Armistead Maupin: I lived that, I'm telling you.

...

Live from center court at the Poison Creek Mall, relationship “expert” JoNell Samms is back for another ill-advised (and potentially dangerous) broadcast! She’s joined by the mall’s wacky support staff; Lupe, the mall manager who would love to see every show end in disaster, and Jim Bob, the maintenance director who can’t take a hint. And let’s not forget her special guests! The Rev. Graham Craquers is on hand to discuss the “right” kind of love, and the archery club from the local high school has a sack full of cupid’s arrows ready to rain love down on the unwilling. Gird your hearts and watch the skies, it’s another Poison Creek Mall catastrophe.

Live from center court at the Poison Creek Mall, relationship “expert” JoNell Samms is back for another ill-advised (and potentially dangerous) broadcast! She’s joined by the mall’s wacky support staff; Lupe, the mall manager who would love to see every show end in disaster, and Jim Bob, the maintenance director who can’t take a hint. And let’s not forget her special guests! The Rev. Graham Craquers is on hand to discuss the “right” kind of love, and the archery club from the local high school has a sack full of cupid’s arrows ready to rain love down on the unwilling. Gird your hearts and watch the skies, it’s another Poison Creek Mall catastrophe.

It’s a hilarious salute to the very best in Christopher and Eric’s side-splitting, satirical commercials. The listeners have voted and the results are in! Christopher and Eric act like douchey sports announcers while revealing which fake advertisement took home the coveted title of The Golden Finger. (You get to enjoy a replay of the finalists as well.) Also, Eric has a breaking news update about a war on the holidays Fox News isn’t talking about!

It’s a hilarious salute to the very best in Christopher and Eric’s side-splitting, satirical commercials. The listeners have voted and the results are in! Christopher and Eric act like douchey sports announcers while revealing which fake advertisement took home the coveted title of The Golden Finger. (You get to enjoy a replay of the finalists as well.) Also, Eric has a breaking news update about a war on the holidays Fox News isn’t talking about!