The Discomfort Practice with Betsy Reed

In this episode of the Discomfort Practice, I talk to the mighty Oyinkansola 'Oyin' Adebayo, the Founder and CEO of Niyo Enterprises, which is an ecosystem of brands that exists to economically empower Black women to be builders of high-impact ecosystems. Oyin's personal purpose is to empower Black women globally to upskill, transform their careers and create a world-class black female ecosystem of entrepreneurs. Niyo Bootcamps has trained over 500 black women to be upskilled in various tech roles through the "Black CodHer" Bootcamp & Black Disruptor bootcamps, several of whom have gone on to create their own tech businesses or work for big-name companies. Oyin arrived in the UK at the age of 12 from Lagos, Nigeria and struggled to fit into a culture in which she was suddenly an immigrant. That, combined with her awareness of the poverty she saw in her native Nigeria, led her to start focusing on social-impact work even while still in school.

Fast-forward to now and she's still working to make life better for young women, their families and wider communities. We talk about why and how the world doesn't work for the majority of people, how focusing on race and racial justice must be more than just philanthropy and how leaders need to be having more uncomfortable conversations in order to truly make the world work.

It's a zesty conversation with some great soundbites for your brain to grab onto and chew over as you go about your day. Please do enjoy it!

As mentioned in this episode - Nik Govier's episode on The Discomfort Practice

Connect with Oyin:

Niyo Enterprises

Oyin's LinkedIn

Oyin on Twitter

Oyin on Instagram

Niyo on Instagram

Connect with Betsy:

• Betsy on Instagram

• Betsy on Twitter

• Betsy on Linkedin

Rate, Review, Learn and Share

Thanks for tuning into The Discomfort Practice. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, follow, like, and/or drop me a five star and written review. Share this episode with others and help spread the word and grow the audience. Don't forget to tune into our other episodes and share your favourite ones on social media.

This one is a bit of a chuckle, friends. I recorded it in August 2023, on the day I was marking seven years of living in Spain. I reflect on seven year cycles and who I've become over the past seven years. Who I've rediscovered I am, as I've let go of conditioning that kept me from being my truest, most powerful version of myself.

In that seven years, the UK left the European Union in the most ill-conceived divorce in a while. I got married and left my marriage, in one of the best-conceived ideas in a while.

As I wade into the discomfort of getting more personal on this podcast, this one felt like it hit a sweet spot. I danced on the edge of my own discomfort, as I shared from the heart, no filter, about myself. But it also felt freeing.

So may you find some 'moments' for yourself as you listen. Some messages that resonate in your soul. Some moments that make you smirk or laugh out loud. Some truth about yourself as I share my truths about myself and who I'm re-becoming in this time of rapid change and change in consciousness. Some will step up to a higher consciousness and some will not. But if you're here listening to this, you're with me. We're stepping up...

Listen, subscribe, rate and share. More heartfelt requests on that below.

Connect with me:

• Betsy on Instagram

• Betsy on Linkedin

Rate, Review, Learn, and Share

Thanks for tuning into The Discomfort Practice! If you enjoyed this episode, please drop me a five-star and written review, follow, and share. Get in touch! And don't forget to tune into our other episodes and share your favorite ones on social media.

In this episode of The Discomfort Practice, I speak to Isidra Mencos, who was born and raised in Barcelona, Spain, about her journey through life as a young woman who grew up under Franco, a repressive dictator, and came of age as Spain was massively changing after his death. We talk about what happens when a young woman who grew up in a place where kissing in public was illegal finds herself suddenly free to explore whatever she wants. Speaking to Isidra was something of a bridge between my US past and my Spanish present. There are definite parallels in our backgrounds. Isidra moved to the US in 1992 to complete a PhD at UC Berkeley in California. Following that, she established herself as a teacher at Berkeley, a writer and editor, and a corporate executive. In 2016 she quit her plush corporate job to finally focus on her lifelong dream of being a creative writer. She has been widely published in literary journals and general interest magazines, but what drew me to Isidra was the recent publication of her memoir, Promenade of Desire, which narrates the journey of the shy María Isidra as she experiments and evolves.

We talk about the beauty of desire and the freedom that exploration - sexual and otherwise - can give all of us to become who we truly are and to love our full selves. Our conversation took us to some uncomfortable yet juicy and important topics. So come get uncomfortable with us… and find pleasure in the episode if you can!

Connect with Isidra:

• Isidra's Website

• Buy and read Isidra's book, Promenade of Desire

• Isidra on Instagram

Connect with Betsy:

• Betsy on Instagram

• Betsy on Twitter

• Betsy on Linkedin

Rate, Review, Learn, and Share

Thanks for tuning into The Discomfort Practice! If you enjoyed this episode, please drop us a five-star and written review, follow, and share how it has benefited you. Don't forget to tune into our other episodes and share your favorite ones on social media. And buy Isidra's book, Promenade of Desire :-)

This is episode 100 of The Discomfort Practice! I reflect back on how focusing on discomfort as a path to wisdom and finding my own superpowers has reshaped my perspective since launching the podcast in October 2020.

Join me for a guided exercise in which you have the opportunity to reflect on what uncomfortable circumstances you've experienced over the past few years and gain a perspective of gratitude for them.

As a 'birthday gift' for episode 100, I ask you to please subscribe, like, leave me a 5-star and written review and SHARE an episode with someone to help me reach new ears.

Thank you for listening and I look forward to having you join me for the next 100 episodes. Get in touch:

• Betsy on Instagram

• Betsy's website

• Betsy on Linkedin

In this episode of the Discomfort Practice, I'm talking with Charles D. McCarrick, entrepreneur, inventor, lead visionary (or 'Chief Comedian') and lead scientist of Micro-Ant. With more than 10 patents to his name, he pioneers and supplies unique equipment to the communications industry. Charles' most defining characteristic is enthusiasm—for new ideas, for the people who work with him, and for continuous improvement. By cultivating people's confidence and creativity, Charles has forged a top-notch team that delivers new technologies into the hands of customers and value to investors.

In this episode, we'll talk about his own life lessons and how they have transformed him, as he talks about his book "Lessons My Brothers Taught Me" that was published in 2022. It's built on the idea that you are your own business - your own brand. One review describes it as 'the funniest business book I've ever read,' which in my estimation is high praise indeed.

We dig in deep to the process Charles has developed called the 4S Transform - Saleability + Sensibility + Sustainability + Scalability = Success. The crux of Charles approach is that the quality of one's character plays a dominant role in the success of any transaction, personal or professional. Settle yourself in for this inspiring episode. Enjoy!

Key Points Discussed:

• Making the difficult decision of having to let go of an employee (and also friend) in business. How it was a life-defining moment in his life and changed Charles' perspective in business. (4:00)

• How the impact that character has in your success in life and business. (8:00)

• Defining your motivation for going into business and how that affects your success. (10:20)

• How Charles became an inventor: with 10 patents under his belt. (19:30)

• Charles believes the key to his success is the ability to do mathematics in 3-dimensional images. (20:10)

• The 4S Transform process that is essential to success: saleability, sensibility, sustainability and scalability. (25:30)

• Understanding what motivates you is critical, built from your character, that drives you in business. (39:38)

Connect with Charles:

• Charles' Website

• Charles on Twitter

• Charles on Linkedin

• "Lessons My Brothers Taught me" on Goodreads

• "Lessons My Brothers Taught me" on Bookshop

• "Lessons My Brothers Taught me" on Amazon

• Tim Collings Episode (Tim introduced me to Charles)

Connect with Betsy:

• Betsy on Instagram

• Betsy on Twitter

• Betsy on Linkedin

Rate, Review, Learn and Share

Thanks for tuning into The Discomfort Practice. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, follow, like, and/or drop us a five star and written review. Share this episode with others and help spread the word and grow our audience. Don't forget to tune into our other episodes and share your favourite ones on social media!

This solo definitely builds on past solos about transitions and life processes because, surprise surprise, I'm still in a big life transition. This is a love letter to other secret introverts and to quiet moments. It's to those of you out there who crave quiet and alone time and to just be left alone for a while - regularly or from time to time. Right now I need and crave a lot of solitude, a lot of quiet time, because I'm going through a big internal process and building the architecture of my life for the coming years. It's about running a business, but it's also about becoming. Being who I need to be to deliver what I feel is my mission in the world.

I'm currently spending a lot of time letting things flow, letting things drop into place and letting things 'occur' to me. And to do that I've created a quiet little bubble of beauty and solitude and I am loving it. Because it allows me to hear my intuition. To guide myself. To not get tangled in the noise of 'shoulds' or 'shouldn'ts' or simply the thoughts of others.

I encourage you to challenge any narratives you have around allowing yourself to take time to be quiet, to be introverted, introspective. Because this is what a lot of us need right now and it's what the world needs us to choose to do. It's in that space that you can connect with who you ARE and what your instincts tell you. It's also space that we all need to change our narratives and thinking that really won't serve us as we move into a new stage of human history, and a new stage of your individual life. Please do reach out to me if this episode resonates and you'd like to reflect on your own 'knowings' and thoughts around some of the things I talk about and your life right now. I'm here to support you and I would love to connect. Enjoy and big love to all of you listening.

If you'd like to learn more about Human Design, as mentioned in the episode:

• Find out what type you are and download your chart at My Human Design

• Read about what Human Design is in this Goop article.

Connect with Betsy:

• Betsy on Instagram

• Betsy on Linkedin

• Betsy's website

Rate, Review, Learn and Share

Don't forget to like, subscribe and leave a 5-star and written review on this podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts. It helps me to reach new listeners and, hopefully, to reach someone on exactly the right day with exactly what they needed to hear. Let me know what you think of this episode and others!

In this episode of the Discomfort Practice, I'm excited to bring back a past guest: cultural consultant, performance producer and content creator Matisse Dupont. Matisse has spent the last decade facilitating interactive lectures and workshops on gender, sexuality, culture and identity. I enjoyed witnessing their evolution on social media - from being a TikTok-er famous for educating others about gender to showcasing their talents as a multi-disciplinary artist to founder of volunteer-run LGBTQIA+ community theatre company, The Queer Theatre Project. Matisse and I explore their life changes and public persona.

In this episode, we focus on that and explore how Matisse has realigned and reconfigured who they are publicly to reflect where they are personally. They've recently navigated burnout as a content creator and dealt with a concussion, which stopped them using technology at the height of their TikTok fame. Matisse shares how time away from what they had become known for opened up space to re-assess and enjoy other aspects of themselves and their talents. We talk about how creating a mindfully artistic practice can open up space to explore - and how you don't ever have to stick to just one thing for the rest of your life.

Matisse is an inspirational example of how you can completely change your life, realign with your purpose and not get caught up, staying in the constraints of what people already know you for (or your comfort zone). Settle yourself in for this refreshing and motivating episode. Enjoy!

Key Points Discussed:

• Shaking up the Discomfort Practice, having Matisse introduce themselves. (1:30)

• The discomfort of changing trajectory: from having a successful career and being known as an expert in a field to then starting something completely new. (3:30)

• How dealing with a severe health issue affected Matisse as a successful content creator and gender educator. But how this time out, gave Matisse perspective. (5:50)

• How the social media algorithm was dictating the way to unauthenticity and interacting on social media in a combative way, as well as leading to burnout. (13:00)

• How Matisse's love of art came out of this period of discomfort in their life. (18:20)

• Meditative quality to painting as a creative outlet. (22:00)

• The transformative practice of not feeling stuck to one job or creative outlet, and being able to constantly evolve and transition. (31:00)

• Matisse's leaving message: "Change takes time, but not as much time as you think it'll take." (40:00)

Connect with Matisse:

• Matisse Website

• Matisse on Instagram

• Matisse on TikTok

• Matisse on Youtube

Connect with Betsy:

• Betsy on Instagram

• Betsy on Twitter

• Betsy on Linkedin

Rate, Review, Learn and Share

Thanks for tuning into The Discomfort Practice. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, follow, like, and/or drop us a five star and written review. Share this episode with others and help spread the word and grow our audience. Don't forget to tune into our other episodes and share your favourite ones on social media!

In this episode of the Discomfort Practice, I talk with Michael Youngblood, co-founder and CEO of Unsettled, an award-winning travel community for those who embrace the unknown and value meaningful human connection. He has worked in more than 60 countries, collaborated with the White House on entrepreneurship and global development, advised Fortune 100 companies on remote work, and has taught courses on entrepreneurship and globalisation on behalf of the U.S. State Department. Previously, he was the Managing Editor of Innovations journal, a publication about entrepreneurial solutions to global challenges that is jointly hosted by MIT, Harvard, and George Mason University. Michael is a member of the inaugural TED Residency, a member of Sandbox, and an avid sailor, mountain biker, and global explorer.

Michael and I discuss Unsettled's manifesto as a process and a guiding philosophy for how to live, through embracing the uncomfortable and the unknown. MIchael shares his own thoughts on navigating anxiety and depression in work and life, and the importance of taking time for self-reflection. We explore some 'beautiful questions,' and hopefully help those listening to discover something themselves with those questions (or discover their own questions to help them explore and find their way of being, living and doing in this rapidly changing world). Many of us know that we can't do things the way they've always been done, so this is a timely conversation. Just know that you're not alone. Enjoy!

Key Points Discussed:

• The uncomfortable childhood experience of holding hands with his adoptive black sister and being the target of hate speech, showed Michael early on the levels of prejudice and inequalities existing in the world. And how that led to him studying social sciences, as the pathway he saw to change social structures. (5:40)

• Michael views all questions as beautiful, as they open you up to possibilities, whilst seeking new answers. (13:00)

• What is your dream underachiever job? (17:20)

• Getting clear on what is important to Michael, with time and space for self-reflection. Opening yourself up to new opportunities, that reflect your desired lifestyle and pace of work/life balance. (27:20)

• Unsettled manifesto: being more than a travel company. It's a process and philosophy for living: embracing the unknown and the uncomfortable. (32:30)

• How Michael has dealt with and found tools to overcome anxiety. (42:40)

• 70% of people quit a job within 18 months of an Unsettled travel experience. (47:40)

• How to create your own reality. (57:30)

• Michael's affirmation that he comes back to at the end of every day: "Despite everything, today was a great day." He has choice and agency to see today as a great day, despite what might have happened in it. (1:00:00)

Connect with Michael:

• Unsettled Manifesto

• Michael's TED Talk "Discovering Your True North"

• Michael's Blog on "Becoming CEO Of Unsettled"

• Michael on Linkedin

Connect with Betsy:

• Betsy on Instagram

• Betsy on Twitter

• Betsy on Linkedin

• What is a Beautiful Question?

Rate, Review, Learn and Share

Thanks for tuning into The Discomfort Practice. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, follow, like, and/or drop us a five star and written review. Share this episode with others and help spread the word and grow our audience. Don't forget to tune into our other episodes and share your favourite ones on social media!

A few months back, when I was sitting in a mushroom ceremony, I got the message loud and clear 'It's safe now to be powerful.' And it was a message that I knew was for me, but also one that I had been given to share with others. And, so, in this episode, I talk about what the world needs from you. How it needs you to be able to un-block those parts of you that you've censored, shut down, inherited shame around because your ancestors shut that part of their power down to be safe. I ask a few questions in this short, unscripted, completely spontaneously-recorded episode. I know this is meant for someone, so if you've found this episode and something has really 'landed,' I'd love to hear from you. Some of the questions I ask in this episode:

• What of your own power are you denying or rejecting?
• What parts of you are you afraid to bring to the world?
• What parts of you are you keeping out of the limelight, out of your work, out of your consciousness because they're so dangerous you're scared to bring them to the world?
• What would the impact be if you allowed yourself to bring yourself fully to the world, in all of your power?
• What would change?

If you ever find yourself thinking 'I wish I could…' 'I CAN'T do that…' it's pointing you toward something that you probably need to bring to the world. That's part of being fully powerful in the world.

'It's safe now to be powerful.' This message is important as we go through this particularly wild time in human history. Because what the world needs from you, what a lot of us need from you, is for you to be fully powerful.

. Listen to this episode, chew it over, enjoy, and let Betsy know how you found it. Please pass it around like a good book. Like it, leave The Discomfort Practice 5 stars and a written review wherever you listen. As always, thank you for your time. Stay uncomfortable...

In this episode of the Discomfort Practice, I talk with Nik Govier, the Founder & CEO of Blurred - a fast growing global management, sustainability and communications consultancy based in London. She is a regular feature in PR Week's Top 10 Power List and was named PR Communicator of the Year in 2021. But the last five years have been a whirlwind of personal challenges and change, from leaving her previous business with nothing after building it for 12 years to facing a cancer scare during the pandemic.Nik is proudly neurodiverse (dyslexic and ADHD) and, having decided to be very public about having had six miscarriages, she is an outspoken advocate for a 'charter for female health' in the PR sector, which is predominantly female.

How did Nik not only survive, but thrive, with a new business and sense of mission? In this episode, we'll talk about how she has navigated a loss of identity, the importance of no agenda meetings with people you don't know and the profound power of a coach - for you and your team - among many juicy topics we dive into. Nik most certainly chooses guts over fear. She shares how she went from being the mindfulness class sceptic to its greatest advocate and what strengths she finds in neurodiversity (and why she hires neurodiverse people).

Nik really leads the way by showcasing the benefits of having a diverse team force and creating policies and approaches which not only support, but protect her team's health. She's created a business that can hold the future, because it has the perspectives needed to create diverse solutions to tricky problems. So get comfy and tune in. Enjoy!

Key Points Discussed:

• How the discomfort of Nik's childhood with undiagnosed Dyslexic and ADHD and having school reports unfairly categorizing her as lazy and careless has led her to spending her entire professional career proving people wrong. (6:20)

• Neuro-diversity is a superpower for Nik, but she recognises that is the case, because she comes from a middle class supportive background. (8:10)

• The motivation behind having a diverse workforce, and what that looks like. (11:30)

• How having a workforce that is diverse is fundamentally about bringing different skill sets, ways of thinking and perspectives that enrich the workplace and the team working there. (19:20)

• Dealing with complex issues with systems that support her diverse team-force. Supports her team with a grief policy (including issues such as miscarriage, menopause, transition, fertility, etc). Providing coaching, support, financial support, time-off and flexible working. (22:05)

• Blurred is built on a foundation of principals surrounding diversity and supporting your workforce, which lead them to instantly receiving a high rating from B Corp (certification is a designation that a business is meeting high standards of verified performance, accountability and transparency regarding inclusivity, policies, etc). (29:50)

• Nik's own discomfort practice: meeting strangers, which has led her to the House of Lords to meeting fashion photographer Rankin. (42:30)

• How a mindfulness body scan is the only form of meditation that works for Nik, for an ADHD or easily distracted brain. (45:10)

• Lasting message: even if you are neurodiverse, introverted, dyslexic or from a disadvantaged background: you have everything you need. Find a place and space that can accept you, and if you can't, build one. (53:30)

Connect with Nik:

• Article on how Nik made it

• Blurred Website

• Nik on Instagram

• Nik on Twitter

• Nik on Linkedin

Connect with Betsy:

• Betsy on Instagram

• Betsy on Twitter

• Betsy on Linkedin

Rate, Review, Learn and Share

Thanks for tuning into The Discomfort Practice. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, follow, like, and/or drop us a five star and written review. Share this episode with others and help spread the word and grow our audience. Don't forget to tune into our other episodes and share your favourite ones on social media!