Yes, please...

In this episode, I share something unexpected that renovating our new house has reminded me about sexual healing and personal growth.

What started as a simple kitchen renovation turned into a much bigger project. As we began tearing things down, we discovered problems we had no idea were there. And I realized just how similar this experience is to sexual healing and expansion.

I talk about the different phases of transformation, from the initial excitement to the messy middle, when everything feels difficult, progress seems impossible, and you start questioning whether it's even worth it.

In this episode:

What renovating our house taught me about sexual healing

The different phases of personal transformation

Why the messy middle feels like going backwards

Uncovering unconscious beliefs and old patterns

Learning to trust the process and keep going

Real growth isn't always linear. Sometimes we have to tear down the old foundations before we can build something new.

Join the waitlist for my year-long mastermind SHAMELESS:

https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless-waitlist

Related episodes:

121: We bought a house + a story about my marriage, patience, trust, and surrender →

115: life updates + my season of expansion →

In this episode, I guide you through a simple but powerful practice that has been transforming my own mindset and helping me feel more appreciation, joy, and connection in everyday life.

Rather than focusing on gratitude, I invite you to explore something slightly different: love. What do you love about your life, your body, your relationships, your work, your friends, and the journey you're on?

Together, we'll move through a series of prompts designed to shift your attention away from negativity and toward the things that are already beautiful, meaningful, and worth celebrating.

This is an episode to listen to while walking, driving, journaling, or anytime you need a gentle reset and a reminder of what is already good in your life.

In this episode:

Why focusing on what you love can shift your state of mind

The difference between gratitude and love

A guided practice to reconnect with appreciation

How to soften negativity bias and cultivate more joy

Simple prompts you can return to every day

Related episodes:

85: Empowering Narrative meditation →

81: Guided Practice: A 10-minute Self-Love Ritual →

In this Q&A episode, I answer a listener's question: what does peeing when you sneeze tell you about your sexual health?

We dive into the connection between the pelvic floor, pleasure, orgasms, core strength, and overall wellbeing. I share my own experience with postpartum incontinence and the journey of rebuilding pelvic floor strength after birth.

We also explore the difference between a weak pelvic floor and a tight pelvic floor, why both can cause symptoms, and how understanding what's happening in your body is the first step toward healing.

In this episode:

The difference between a weak and a tight pelvic floor

Common symptoms to look out for

How pelvic floor health affects pleasure and orgasms

Simple practices to build strength and awareness

Why your body isn't broken and what you can do to support it

Whether you've had children or not, this episode is an invitation to reconnect with your body, understand what it's communicating, and take small steps toward greater strength, pleasure, and confidence.

Related episodes:

96: Sex after birth: intimacy, pleasure, and pussy rehab →

71: Gut, vaginal and mental health and the power of meat stock with Kate Pope. →

In this Q&A episode, I answer a listener’s question about moving from a hot, connected sex life during pregnancy to feeling completely disconnected from desire in postpartum.

I talk about why this shift is so common after birth, and how much your body, identity, relationship, and nervous system are moving through in this season. Before trying to “get the sexy vibe back,” we need to start with sensuality, self-connection, support, and honoring what your body has been through.

This episode is about finding your way back to lust gently, honestly, and in a way that actually fits the woman and mother you are now.

In this episode:

Why postpartum can feel so different sexually

Reconnecting with sensuality before sex

Honoring your body after birth

Asking for the intimacy you actually want

Rebuilding your erotic identity after becoming a mother

If you’re feeling disconnected from desire, this is your reminder that nothing is wrong with you. Your sexuality may simply be asking to return in a new way.

Join waitlist for my year-long mastermind SHAMELESS:

https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless-waitlist

Related episodes:

96: Sex after birth: intimacy, pleasure, and pussy rehab →

47: How to Resuscitate Your Erotic Mind as a Mother - Interview with Lisa O. →

69: The ultimate desire hack: how to have more sex in your longterm relationship →

In this episode, I share the personal big news: we bought a house.

I talk about why having a home with a garden has meant so much to me, how long and stressful the process has been, and what it brought up along the way. From selling our apartment, moving in with my in-laws, going to around 50 house viewings, and almost buying the wrong house, this has been a huge learning experience.

I also reflect honestly on my own patterns in our relationship, especially around rushing, pushing, and wanting things to happen on my timeline. This whole process helped me see where I needed to slow down, trust my husband more, and let us move as a team.

This episode is about buying a house, but also about patience, partnership, mistakes, repair, and trusting the timing of life.

In this episode:

Why I’ve always wanted to live in a house

What this house-buying process taught me

The pattern I had to face in my marriage

Learning to slow down and trust more

How we finally found and bought our house

This is a celebration of a new home, a new chapter, and the lessons that came with getting here.

Join waitlist for my year-long mastermind SHAMELESS:

https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless-waitlist

Related episodes:

117: Choosing family in a culture of “having it all”→

115: life updates + my season of expansion →

In this episode, I unpack what it really means to feel sexually disconnected and disempowered as a woman. I explore why so many women feel numb, shut down, resentful, bored, or distant from their sexuality – and why this is far more common than most people realize.

I talk about the roots of sexual disconnection, from conditioning and negative experiences to lack of education, self-knowledge, and true safety. Most importantly, I share how to begin rebuilding a loving, empowered relationship with your body, desire, sensuality, and pleasure.

In this episode:

What sexual disconnection can look like in real life

Why many women feel sex is “for someone else”

How shame, numbness, and resentment are often learned patterns

The missing link between sensuality and sexuality

Why self-knowledge is the foundation of sexual empowerment

How to begin reconnecting with desire, pleasure, and your body

What becomes possible when sexuality finally feels like it belongs to you

Join my Sensuality course:

https://www.erika-alsborn.com/zen-suality

Join waitlist for my year-long mastermind SHAMELESS:

https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless-waitlist

Related episodes:

113: Are you a teen or a woman in the bedroom? →

111: Flirting, feeling confident, masculine women, sexual growth in a relationship →

In this episode, I explore the nuance of sexual intimacy in long-term relationships and what it really means to meet each other in desire, even when you’re not fully “in the mood.” I share the deeper context behind a recent (and quite controversial) post about offering a blowjob as an alternative form of intimacy and unpack why this idea sparked so much conversation.

We dive into the differences between male and female arousal, spontaneous vs. responsive desire, and why sexuality is far more complex than a simple yes or no. This episode opens up a more expansive way of thinking about intimacy, where communication, choice, and mutual satisfaction take the lead.

This is an invitation to move beyond rigid definitions of sex, to explore what feels truly aligned for you, and to approach intimacy from a place of empowerment, generosity, and self-awareness.

In this episode:

Why desire differs between men and women

The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire

Why intimacy doesn’t always have to include penetration

How to stay connected when you’re not in the mood for sex

The role of communication, consent, and boundaries

Reframing giving (including oral sex) as a choice, not an obligation

How sexual empowerment transforms your relationship

Related episodes:

67: Embrace your desire style: explaining spontaneous vs. responsive desire →

69: The ultimate desire hack: how to have more sex in your longterm relationship →

In this episode, I explore the art of relaxation and why so many women struggle to truly rest. I share my personal journey of moving out of “go-go girl mode,” how quitting caffeine changed my relationship with my body, and why modern culture keeps us stuck in chronic stress. We dive into the concept of yin and yang energy, why relaxation is essential for hormonal health and pleasure, and how learning to rest can transform your nervous system, libido, and connection to your body.

This episode is both an invitation and a permission slip to slow down, reconnect with yourself, and discover the power of rest as a pathway to deeper pleasure and self-awareness.

In this episode:

Why modern culture keeps us trapped in constant productivity and stress

The difference between yin (relaxation) and yang (action) energy

How chronic stress affects hormones, libido, and pleasure

Why many women struggle to feel safe enough to truly rest

Simple practices to access relaxation in your body

The connection between nervous system regulation and sexual pleasure

What real self-care looks like (and what it isn’t)

Related episodes:

89: Productivity vs pleasure – how to make space for pleasure in burn-out culture →

In this episode, I share a deeply personal reflection on turning 40, living in the in-between without a home, and what it has taught me about identity, nervous system regulation, and belonging. I talk about choosing family over constant movement, how simplifying life has changed my relationship to desire and sexuality, and why prioritizing both quality and quantity time with children feels radically countercultural.

We explore the grief and surrender that come with big life transitions, the myth of “having it all,” and how motherhood reshaped my values, attachment patterns, and sense of self. This episode is an honest look at choosing a slower, more rooted life—and finding pleasure, intimacy, and aliveness inside it.

In this episode:

Turning 40 and living in the “messy middle” without a home

Stress, caffeine, and how they affect mood, libido, and arousal

Roots, family, and community as nervous system support

Motherhood as identity shift—and choosing a slower, simpler life

Quality + quantity time with kids, and why it feels countercultural

Letting go of “having it all” while still staying connected to desire

In this episode, I answer three honest and intimate questions from my community about mental arousal and fantasy, shame or disgust around self-touch, and burning or sensitivity at the vaginal entrance. We explore why the brain is essential for pleasure, where the “dirty” feeling around touching yourself comes from, and how to listen to your body when it communicates through sensation rather than symptoms.

In this episode:

Why mental arousal and fantasy are a natural and necessary part of pleasure

Letting go of judgment around needing erotic imagination to feel turned on

Where the “dirty” feeling around self-touch is learned and how to change it

Psychological, subconscious, and somatic roots of sexual shame

Burning or sensitivity at the vaginal entrance as tension or stored communication

How to gently explore sensation through presence, touch, and body awareness

Related episodes:

109: Q&A: Sex questions we’re afraid to ask (but should) →

107: Q&A – rebuilding desire, expressing needs, unhealthy fantasies, overcoming shame and MORE →