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In this episode, I answer three powerful questions from my community about orgasms, disgust in self-touch, and how to find your way back to sex after a long dry spell in a relationship. We explore the refractory period after clitoral orgasm, how to “edge” your pleasure to expand into vaginal orgasms, what’s really behind feeling icky or nauseous when you touch your body, and how to reconnect intimately with your partner when sex has felt clunky or disappointing.
In this episode:
Why pleasure is a choice and how attention grows desire
The refractory period after clitoral orgasm and what to do about it
Using edging to expand pleasure and support vaginal orgasms
Disgust and nausea during self-touch as a protective, learned response
Somatic and emotional tools for healing shame and body aversion
Rebuilding sexual connection with your partner after months without intimacy
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👉 JOIN THE WAITLIST HERE to get 50% off enrollment, exclusive bonuses, first access to spots, and my erotic diaries newsletter:
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Related episodes:
25: Slut Academy
26: The Slut Archetype – what and who is she and why she'll revolutionize your sex life!
97: Erotic expansion – understanding and playing with domination and submission
34: The importance of imperfect pleasure and sex
In this episode, I unpack a powerful question from a listener who shared that while she’s a fully capable adult woman in every area of life (career, motherhood, friendship, creativity), but her sexuality still feels frozen at age twelve. She resonated deeply with my reel “Are you a teen or a woman in the bedroom?” and described the confusion of being perceived by others as sensual while internally feeling disconnected from her own body.
Together, we explore what it means to evolve from that teen-like sexual identity into an embodied, confident adult woman… and how vulnerable, confusing, and awakening that transition can be.
In this episode, I talk about:
Why your erotic self can lag decades behind your adult self-image
Early sexual imprinting and how it silently shapes your confidence today
The “capable woman” identity and why sexuality is the one place it often collapses
Vulnerability with your partner: why it feels terrifying and why it matters
How repressing emotions shuts down your pleasure and orgasmic potential
Dropping performance and approaching sexuality as a learnable skill
Identity-based habits that support your evolution into an empowered sexual woman
Download the Quick Start Guide to Identity-Based Habits by James Clear to map out daily actions that support your new mature sexual identity.
Join the Slut Academy waitlist (sae 50% on enrollment + bonuses + frist access to limited spots) to walk this rite of passage with me over four months and become the free, powerful, orgasmic woman you came here to be:
https://www.erika-alsborn.com/s-academy-waitlist
Powerful resource, a guided meditation, from the pod:
85. Empowering Narrative meditation
In this episode, I share what it means to step fully into your slut era inside a committed relationship (or in singlehood). I talk about why this energy is so powerful, how it revived my own desire, and how reclaiming the word slut can transform sex that feels flat, disconnected, or routine.
In this episode, I talk about:
What a “slut era” looks like in a monogamous marriage
A new, empowering definition of the word slut
Why long-term relationships often dull desire — and how slut energy reignites it
Releasing shame, body judgment, and the “respectable woman” identity
The difference between sensation and true erotic power
Awakening the slut archetype for creativity, freedom, and wild pleasure
Making space for taboo fantasies without fear or self-judgment
How erotic energy boosts confidence, vitality, and relational intimacy
Who Slut Academy is for and why community matters in this work
JOIN THE WAITLIST HERE and get amazing discounts and bonuses PLUS my exclusive erotic diaries newsletter!
https://www.erika-alsborn.com/s-academy-waitlist
Related episodes:
25: Slut Academy
26: The Slut Archetype – what and who is she and why she'll revolutionize your sex life!
97: Erotic expansion – understanding and playing with domination and submission
34: The importance of imperfect pleasure and sex
In this episode, I answer my student's question about embracing your sensuality and navigating the shift within a committed partnership. I explore how to handle new attention from others, soften old “ice queen” protection patterns, and invite your partner into this new chapter without pressure or fear. I also share pieces of my own awakening and offer mindset tools, scripts, and practices to help you feel grounded, desired, and fully in your feminine energy.
In this episode, I talk about:
Why your sensual awakening changes how people respond to you
Old insecurities, “ice queen” energy, and stepping into embodied confidence
Attention as an exchange — and why you don’t owe anyone anything
Masculine vs. feminine energy in dating and long-term relationships
Becoming more approachable by shifting into your feminine
How to receive compliments and decline flirtation with grace
Inviting your husband into your erotic growth (without pressure)
Navigating light, innocent flirtation while staying in integrity
Rethinking monogamy, fantasy, and relationship agreements
Related episodes:
109: Q&A: Sex questions we’re afraid to ask (but should) →
107: Q&A – rebuilding desire, expressing needs, unhealthy fantasies, overcoming shame and MORE →
14: How to be sexual/sexy AND feel safe in this world
Let’s connect!
Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn
This short episode is a love note to your sexuality, and an invitation to come home to it.
I share one of my favorite analogies to help you understand what it means to truly inhabit your sexual self, to stop treating your sexuality like an abandoned house and start tending to it like the warm, beautiful home it’s meant to be.
In this episode, I share:
The difference between being disconnected from your sexuality and feeling fully at home in it
How neglecting your pleasure shows up in your body and relationships
What it means to take ownership of your sexual energy and desires
How you can start reclaiming your sexuality through simple, embodied practices
An invitation to join Pleasure Treats - my mini course to help you do exactly that
Links and resources:
Join Pleasure treats: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/p-treats
Related episodes:
32: PLEASURE TREATS →
Let’s connect!
Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn
This episode is another Q&A, and I love doing these because the questions always open up such real and juicy conversations. Today, I answer three big ones. They’re not quick yes or no questions, they’re the kind that touch on shame, fear, pleasure, kids, relationships, healing after trauma — all the stuff that makes sex and intimacy feel complicated and human. I share some of my own tools and perspectives that you can actually try in your own life, whether you relate directly to the questions or not.
Questions answered in this episode:
1.How do I get over my insecurity with pleasuring a man?
I explain how to shift from embarrassment to curiosity, work with the fears underneath, and allow yourself to learn step by step.
2. How can I feel sexual and free when I am also a mom and my kids are in the house?
I talk about starting honest sex education early, creating boundaries like locking the door, and doing your own inner work so kids see sex as normal and positive.
3. Can I ever truly enjoy sex after experiencing sexual trauma?
I share that deeper healing is possible by working with the subconscious and body, aiming first for emotional neutrality and then for joy and connection.
Related episodes:
93: Amazing sex = amazing life. Sexual growth is at the center of all personal growth →
Let’s connect!
Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn
In this episode, I talk about desire as a sacred path back to yourself—how wanting (not just needing) is deeply empowering in life and in the bedroom. I share how to recognize true desires, rekindle turn-on with simple practices like fantasy and play, and meet any inner resistance with compassion. We finish with a gentle guided visualization to help you connect with your own desire and take one small, aligned step forward.
In this episode, I talk about:
How your desires can guide you toward an authentic life
Needs vs. desires — why the difference matters
Building self-worth and daring to want more
Desire as the gateway to your erotic self
Why fantasizing is good for your sex life
Owning your turn-ons (and turn-offs) without shame
Why desire doesn’t have an expiration date
A guided practice to connect with what you truly crave
This is a recording from a live online event I taught. Enjoy!
Join my mastermind SHAMELESS
https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless
Related episodes:
94: Kink as a healing and self-discovery tool with Faith Laux →
93: Amazing sex = amazing life. Sexual growth is at the center of all personal growth →
Let’s connect!
Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels
Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn
This Q&A is overflowing with bold, vulnerable, and relatable questions from my FREE GROUP COACHING gathering. It’s playful, honest, and deeply empowering. Zero shame, zero filter — only truth, guidance, and pussy wisdom.
In this episode, I answer:
How to rebuild intimacy and desire after heartbreak in a long-term relationship
Keeping the sexual spark alive in long-term relationships
How to communicate likes and dislikes in bed without offending my husband
How to express wanting a highly sexual partner while dating, without attracting men only seeking casual sex
Are any sexual fantasies “unhealthy”?
Struggling with arousal after having a child and feeling unsatisfied with quick, non-nourishing orgasms
How to tell my partner I want deeper sexual growth and fulfillment when I feel too shy
Overcoming shame around quick masturbation after trauma and learning to enjoy “quickies” with myself
Why did my body shut down sexually after breakthrough orgasmic experiences at age 57?
You can still join the FREE GROUP COACHING with me - it's free!!
You the recording from the first session and are invited to the final session on Wednesday, August 27th.
https://www.erika-alsborn.com/free-group-coaching
Join my mastermind SHAMELESS
https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless
Related episodes:
91: The language of touch and using sensual massage as a path to deeper relationship intimacy
98: Unleash and embody the Slut Archetype for the best sex and pleasure! →
90: Perfectionism is blocking you from intimacy, pleasure and partnered sex →
Let’s connect!
Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels
Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn
This Q&A episode is packed with real, raw, and relatable questions from my FLOWER POWER event last week. Listen and learn lots! It's fun, honest, and empowering. No shame, no filter – just truth, insight, and lots of pussy wisdom.
In this episode, I answer:
What does it mean that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone?
Why do I feel shame or lack of fulfillment after orgasming quickly?
What is de-armoring and how does it help with sexual healing?
Can I explore cervical stimulation if I have an IUD?
Why can’t I locate my cervix – where is it really?
How do I know if a penis is touching the cervix?
Is it normal to have structures inside my vagina that feel like tubes?
Why do clitoral orgasms feel too intense or make me cramp?
What’s the difference between self-pleasure and masturbation?
What can I do when I can’t orgasm with a partner due to pressure?
You can still join FLOWER POWER - it's free!!
You get all the recordings and are invited to the final session on Thursday, August 14th.
https://www.erika-alsborn.com/flower-power-blossom-edition
Join my mastermind SHAMELESS
https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless
Related episodes:
98: Unleash and embody the Slut Archetype for the best sex and pleasure! →
90: Perfectionism is blocking you from intimacy, pleasure and partnered sex →
Let’s connect!
Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels
Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn
In this episode, I’m joined by Johanna, a graduate of my SHAMELESS program, just a few months after she completed the year-long journey. This conversation is full of depth, nuance, and honesty as we explore what it really means to move from codependency and self-doubt to a place of grounded, embodied power. Johanna shares how she went from longing for something she couldn’t name to fully claiming her pleasure, her voice, and her womanhood.
In this episode:
Johanna’s transformation from insecurity and people-pleasing to grounded self-trust
What it means to “choose yourself” and move from girl to woman
Releasing the fantasy of a “life script” and embracing self-authored sexuality
Rewiring pleasure through consistent self-practice
Investing in herself: time, energy, and money, and why it was worth it
The beauty of a multi-generational women’s group and being deeply witnessed
This one is rich. Johanna’s story is a beautiful example of what happens when we say yes to ourselves and allow transformation to unfold in the body, on our terms.
Related episodes:
40: Reclaiming your sexuality as a personal growth journey - Interview with Carolina →
39: SHAMELESS - Magnify your capacity to feel pleasure and be powerful and orgasmic →
Let’s connect!
Come join me and like-minded women in my FREE women-only, sex-positive community – Pleasure Rebels Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/plsrebels
Follow and reach out on IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikaalsborn
Links and resources:
Join the waitlist for Shameless: https://www.erika-alsborn.com/shameless
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