The Divorce Doctor

I'm thrilled that the Divorce Doctor podcast has resonated with so many of you. I remember after my divorce, how much it helped me to know that I wasn't alone. Having that support truly made a difference in the aftermath of my divorce and onward. This is why I started this podcast, wrote my book, Light at the Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You, and started Afterglow. I truly appreciate the community we've created.

This week's episode of the Divorce Doctor podcast will be a little different. I've decided to be vulnerable and share my own experience of divorce. I'll admit, I was a little nervous to interview myself. It's been 12 years since my divorce, but my story still brings up a lot of different emotions for me. But if there's anything I know, it's the importance of vulnerability.

I'm thrilled that the Divorce Doctor podcast has resonated with so many of you. I remember after my divorce, how much it helped me to know that I wasn't alone. Having that support truly made a difference in the aftermath of my divorce and onward. This is why I started this podcast, wrote my book, Light at the Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You, and started Afterglow. I truly appreciate the community we've created.

This week's episode of the Divorce Doctor podcast will be a little different. I've decided to be vulnerable and share my own experience of divorce. I'll admit, I was a little nervous to interview myself. It's been 12 years since my divorce, but my story still brings up a lot of different emotions for me. But if there's anything I know, it's the importance of vulnerability.

When it comes to relationships, a lot of us jump to the idea of compatibility. But do we understand the nuance of that term?

It doesn't have to mean a "matching set'' dynamic, or finding the perfect piece to your puzzle. Your partner doesn't have to save you, fix you, or complete you. In fact, when a relationship turns towards reliance - complete reliance - you're not experiencing compatibility, but codependency. It's not about you, your partner, your family, or happiness- it's about saving the marriage you believe you need, even if you don't.

In this episode of The Divorce Doctor Podcast, Terri Cole and I dive into codependency and boundaries through both marriage and divorce. Terri is both a licensed psychotherapist and has been a global relationship and empowerment expert for over two decades, working with clients from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and CEOs. Not only that, but Terri has a gift for making psychological concepts accessible to everyone, inspiring thousands through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular The Terri Cole Show podcast.

Many of us dream of the perfect, harmonious relationship. Each person is there to support one another equally, help each other become the best versions of yourself, and maintaining the relationship feels effortless. Sometimes we want this kind of relationship so badly, that when our gut is telling us something's off we ignore it in the hope that we're in the wrong. Although listening to that gut feeling may be terrifying, it can also be extremely freeing.

Jessica Butts and I discussed the euphoria of finding yourself again on this episode of The Divorce Doctor Podcast. Jessica is the creator and CEO of Front Seat Life. She's a Myers-Briggs expert. She's a life business coach for intuitive women. She's a therapist, she's an author. She's a keynote speaker podcaster, and she brings so much love and heart to everything she does. She is an ENFJ, truth teller, F-bomb dropper, a lover of all things Maui, and fiercely dedicated to helping you become unapologetically who you are.

In this episode, Jessica and I discuss her sense of freedom as a result of her divorce, and the experience of restoring her individuality.

Leaving a long term relationship can be terrifying. You might question whether it's the right decision, find yourself betting on how much longer you can last in it, or questioning who exactly you are without that person around anymore. This process can be time-consuming and laborious, but Jill Sherer Murray teaches us that while it is at times a terrifying, heart-wrenching process, the reward of knowing that you can be happy no matter what will always be worth it.

In this episode of the Divorce Doctor Podcast, I had the pleasure of speaking with award-winning author and journalist, TEDx speaker, and founder of "Let Go For It," Jill Sherer Murray. Jill works through her brand "Let Go For It" to help women let go of whatever's holding them back so they can live the life they've deserved all along.

In our discussion, Jill and I discuss the ordeal of trusting yourself enough to let go of relationships that are holding you back. We also discuss the importance of choosing yourself, and why it shouldn't be considered a selfish or inconsiderate act!

"You cannot heal the pain by avoiding it. You have to look at it. It doesn't stay around forever, but the more you push it down or shove it down or avoid it, it's just going to get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger."

When you have children together, navigating divorce comes with an extra set of challenges. Not only are you handling your own emotional pain, but you feel responsible for your child as well. All in all, the most important thing to remember is that it all comes back to love, which is what I discussed with my recent guest on the Divorce Doctor Podcast, Heather Chauvin.

Heather is a leadership coach who helps ambitious, overwhelmed women conquer their fears and become leaders at work and home. She is the host of the Mom Is In Control Podcast where she reveals her most vulnerable truths about womanhood, marriage, parenting, living through stage 4 cancer and running a successful business without burning out. Her first book, Dying to be a Good Mother, is available where all books are sold.

In this episode, Heather and I discuss the motherhood side of divorce, and how to cope with the feelings of pain and loss.

Have you ever heard of a divorce attorney's own journey through divorce? Without someone deciding to be vulnerable and share that story with us all, we can be quick to assume that a personal divorce would feel like standard practice for a professional. But that's just not the case.

I recently had a conversation with Susan Guthrie, a family and mediation attorney and owner of Divorce in a Better Way. Susan shared personal stories from her own divorce which beautifully paints the picture that everyone going through a divorce experiences the same emotions and seasons.

But Susan's perspective has created a greater hope that you can have a better divorce. In my most recent episode of The Divorce Doctor, Susan and I discuss how to recognize when a marriage won't work, what it's like to get back to work if you weren't working before the divorce, and how to care for yourself throughout the process. Susan shares a lot of great insight that you won't want to miss!

This week on The Divorce Doctor I had a fantastic conversation with Tina Swithin. Tina is the author of the Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom's Battle series as well as the founder of One Mom's Battle.

Tina takes us through her journey of surviving a "Category Five Divorce Hurricane". Her divorce story takes the term "high-conflict" to a completely new level and twists and turns through the dramatic landscape of a custody battle with an individual diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Tina acted as her own attorney while living in a women's shelter and now works to educate and advocate for other families navigating divorce and custody battles. Listen in to learn more about the grit and courage that Tina tapped into to make it through her harrowing divorce.

On this week's episode of the Divorce Doctor Podcast, I spoke with Alexandra Jamieson. Alexandra is an award-winning and best selling author. She also co-created and co-starred in the hit documentary Supersize Me. Her most recent credit is her book Radical Alignment, a guide for productive and empathy based communication.

In our discussion, Alexandra walked me through the beginning, middle, and aftermath of her divorce. We discussed the phenomenon of ignoring red-flags in relationships before you're prepared to address them, taking ownership of yourself, and the value of clear communication. She shared how she went all in when she started dating post-divorce. She shares valuable lessons with humor and wit.

When we think of divorce, we rarely associate it with anything positive. Anger, sadness, resentment, all of these feelings are often attached to the idea of a relationship ending. But this doesn't always have to be the case, as exemplified by my recent guest on the Divorce Doctor podcast: Ben Heldfond.

Ben is the co-author of Our Happy Divorce, a book that he and his ex-wife, Nikki DeBartolo, wrote about their journey through divorce and how it brought them closer together. He talks about the importance of putting your kids first and how you can actually connect and stay close even after a divorce.

In my talk with Ben, we discuss the genesis of Our Happy Divorce and the soul-searching that often comes from the experience of divorce.

Do you struggle with saying "no?" There can be so much pressure on us, especially as women, to be "people pleasers." More often than not, the people pleasing tendency creates chaos in our lives. That's when we learn the importance of making ourselves a priority.

Nancy Levin is a master coach and bestselling author of several books, including her latest, Setting Boundaries Will Set you Free. Formerly the event director at Hay House for over a decade, Nancy is the creator of 11 Life Coach Academy and Destination Me, offering in-depth coaching and training programs designed to support students and clients to make themselves a priority by setting boundaries.

In my talk with Nancy on The Divorce Doctor podcast, we discussed the importance of recognizing our autonomy, which can be terrifying. Nancy's story is a lesson in shifting the people-pleasing mindset so you can be a better advocate for yourself.