The Divorce Planner

Most people file for divorce without doing any of the preparation that would have saved them thousands of dollars and months of stress. Not because they didn't have time, but because nobody told them what to do first. And then they regret it for years.

This episode is the roadmap. In it, I walk you through my framework for getting divorce ready in four weeks, one focus area at a time, so it never feels overwhelming.

We start with your emotional foundation: getting grounded, clarifying your values and priorities, and lining up support. Then we move into getting your entire financial picture organized while you still have full access to everything. From there, we tackle the question I hear most—"What should I ask for?"—by building a real post-divorce budget so you stop guessing and start knowing your numbers. And finally, we get your legal and strategic foundation in place: understanding your options, choosing the right attorney, learning your state's laws, and knowing when to bring in a CDFA.

The work you do in this window determines how prepared you are when it counts most—at the negotiating table, in mediation, or in front of a judge.

Whether you're certain you're moving forward or still deciding, this episode gives you a clear, step-by-step plan to prepare with confidence instead of fear.

Additional resources mentioned in the episode: 

Listen to the Dear Future Self episode from Season 1. Read The Two Numbers You Need Before Divorce Negotiations: Your Marital Standard of Living and Post-Divorce Budget. The Divorce Planner's CDFA vetted Monthly Budget Calculator spreadsheet. 

Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. 

Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips.

The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation.

Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

Telling your spouse you want a divorce might be one of the hardest conversations you'll ever have. And the way you handle it can set the tone for everything that comes after, like: your divorce process, your co-parenting relationship, your ability to move forward with compassion and dignity.

In this episode, I'm walking you through my complete framework for having "the talk.: From how to know you're actually ready, the emotional and practical homework to do beforehand, how to choose the right time and place, what to actually say (and what to avoid), and how to stay grounded no matter how your spouse reacts.

Whether you're planning to have this conversation soon or just starting to think it through, this episode will help you approach one of life's hardest moments with grace, respect, and a plan.

Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. 

Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips.

The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation.

Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If you've been quietly going through the motions of your marriage, you're physically there but emotionally somewhere else, you're in what I call the slow fade. 

You've probably seen the phrase "quiet quitting your marriage" floating around. What I see with clients who are in this position is a gradual emotional withdrawal that almost always happens after a long period of trying. You communicated. You suggested therapy. You said the hard things. And eventually you ran out of energy to keep trying to change someone who didn't want to change.

In this episode, I'll help you tell the difference between the slow fade and actually knowing you're done, walk through what this signal is telling you, and share where to start if you're in it right now. Taking steps to break out of the limbo you're living in can feel scary, but if you let fear and doubt take over, you could be in this space for years, or even decades.  

Whether you're sure you're done or genuinely don't know yet, this episode will help you stop waiting for circumstances to decide for you and get you on the path to making a conscious choice on your terms.

Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. 

Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips.

The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation.

Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

We made it! Season 1 finale of The Divorce Planner Podcast.

Over Season 1, we've covered everything from when to meet with an attorney to how to find hidden assets, from creating bulletproof parenting plans to healing from grief and shame.

Today I'm reflecting on what we've learned together, pointing you toward episodes you might have missed based on where you are in your journey, and sharing what makes this podcast different from other divorce content out there.

Whether you're just starting to think about divorce, actively preparing, or navigating high-conflict situations, this episode will help you find the Season 1 conversations that matter most for your situation right now—and understand how to use this podcast as a resource throughout your divorce journey.

Thank you for being here.

Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. 

Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips.

The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation.

Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If you're going through divorce and feeling isolated and alone, this episode is exactly what you need. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Hillary Livingston Giddings and Bethany M. Pace, the powerhouse duo behind Sincerely, Divorced, for an uplifting conversation about why community is everything during and after divorce.

Hillary and Bethany know firsthand what it's like to navigate divorce feeling like you have to figure it all out alone. As friends who both went through divorce during the pandemic, they turned their experience into something powerful—a community that's changing how people think about life after divorce through real talk, raw honesty, and their "breakdown to glow-up" philosophy.

We dive deep into how to use your vulnerability as a superpower to make genuine connections, why finding your people transforms the divorce journey, and how to rediscover joy and laughter when you never thought you'd feel that way again.

What we cover:

• Why community matters during one of life's loneliest transitions
• How to find your people when you're feeling isolated
• Using vulnerability as strength to make authentic connections
• The "breakdown to glow-up" philosophy and embracing both sides of divorce
• Finding humor and joy again even in the hardest moments
• Building a support system that actually works (friends, coaches, online communities)
• Why it's okay to not have it all figured out and who can help at each stage
• Real talk and raw honesty about what divorce actually feels like
• How friendship saved them during their own divorce journeys

Whether you're just thinking about divorce, in the middle of the process, or rebuilding on the other side, this conversation will remind you that you're not alone—and that joy, laughter, and connection are not only possible but within reach.

Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. 

Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips.

The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation.

Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If you're navigating a high-net-worth divorce, dealing with complex assets like stock options or business valuations, or suspect your spouse isn't being transparent about finances, this episode is for you. 

I sat down with Lisa Zeiderman, divorce financial litigator and managing partner at Miller Zeiderman LLP, for an essential conversation about a type of expert most people have never heard of—but who could be critical to protecting your financial future.

We dive deep into the most expensive errors people make in high-asset divorces, the tax bombs that blindside even the most savvy clients, and how to navigate situations where your spouse controls the financial information or isn't being transparent about marital or business assets.

What we cover:

• What a financial litigator is and how they differ from divorce attorneys and forensic accountants
• When you actually need one and whether this is only for high-net-worth cases
• The powerful combination of working with both a financial litigator and a CDFA
• The most expensive mistake people make by NOT hiring a financial litigator early enough
• Tax bombs in high-asset divorces and how financial litigators help you avoid them
• Complex assets demystified including stock options, business valuations, and retirement accounts
• What to do if your spouse isn't transparent about financial information or business assets
• Cost vs. value of hiring a financial litigator and how to know if it's worth it for your situation
• First steps for anyone considering divorce and when in the process to reach out

Whether you're high-net-worth, dealing with a business owner spouse, facing financial abuse, or just starting to educate yourself about divorce options, this conversation provides expert guidance on protecting your financial interests through one of life's most challenging transitions.

Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. 

Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips.

The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation.

Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

Here's something nobody tells you about divorce: the entire process is designed to pull you backward. Every negotiation is about what happened—who earned what, who did what wrong. You spend months, sometimes years, staring into the rearview mirror. And then suddenly it's over, and you're standing in a life you don't recognize, because you were so consumed by the past that you never stopped to build toward a future.

Here's what I learned during my own divorce: you can't build a future by only looking at the past.

So I did something that changed everything. I wrote a letter to myself from my future self. And then, with every decision I faced in the divorce process, I asked one question: does this get me closer to that future? That single shift—from looking backward to looking forward—kept me on track, helped me make smarter choices, and let me feel hopeful about my life on the other side.

In this episode, I'll walk you through how to write your own letter from your future self and use it as your compass through divorce. It's the same practice I shared on the Divorce and Beyond podcast, where it became their most downloaded episode of the year.

Whether you're contemplating divorce, deep in negotiations, or just tired of making decisions from a place of anger and fear, this episode will help you stop reacting and start building something specific, hopeful, and yours.

Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. 

Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips.

The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation.

Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If you suspect your spouse might be hiding money during divorce—or you're in a situation where they control all the finances—this episode is exactly what you need. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Jennica Moore, a forensic accountant with over 10 years of specialized experience in fraud examination and family law matters, for a crucial conversation about finding hidden assets and protecting your financial future during divorce.

Jennica brings expert insight into the most common ways people hide money, the red flags to watch for, and what you can actually do to uncover hidden assets—even if you don't control the finances in your marriage.

What we cover:

• What a forensic accountant does during divorce and how they differ from regular accountants
• When to bring in a forensic accountant and whether your suspicions justify the cost
• Most common ways people hide money including cryptocurrency, offshore accounts, cash businesses, and underreported income
• Red flags to watch for before you even hire an expert
• What to do if your spouse controls all the finances and how to access information safely in a controlling situation
• What's actually traceable and the limits of forensic investigation
• Biggest financial mistakes people make once they know divorce is coming
• Legal consequences of hiding assets and how it impacts the divorce settlement
• First steps to take if you suspect hidden money but don't have proof
• Cost vs. benefit of forensic investigation and what you might uncover

Whether you're dealing with a business owner spouse, suspect hidden accounts, or just have a gut feeling something isn't right with the finances, this conversation provides expert guidance to help you protect your financial interests during divorce.

Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. 

Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips.

The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation.

Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If you're stuck in decision paralysis, overwhelmed by every choice you need to make during divorce, this episode is for you. Today I'm sharing one of my signature coaching frameworks: the 5-5-5 Rule.

When you're contemplating divorce or in the middle of one, every decision feels enormous. Should you file now or wait until after the holidays? Should you keep the house or sell it? Should you fight for the retirement accounts or let them go? Should you tell your spouse you want a divorce or stay married?

The weight of these decisions can freeze you. You overthink. You ask seventeen people for advice. And then you still don't do anything.

The 5-5-5 Rule helps you zoom out when you're stuck in the weeds. It's a simple but powerful framework that helps you figure out which decisions actually matter, and which ones are just emotional noise you need to let go of.

Whether you're contemplating divorce, actively going through it, or struggling to make post-divorce decisions, the 5-5-5 Rule will give you a clear lens for moving forward with confidence.

Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. 

Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips.

The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation.

Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If you've been wondering what divorce actually costs—and getting frustrated with vague "it depends" answers—this episode is exactly what you need. In today's episode, I welcome back Dennis R. Vetrano Jr., a New York-based family law attorney and mediator, for a straightforward conversation about the real costs of divorce.

We dive deep into the financial realities most people don't understand until they're already spending thousands more than they expected.

What we cover:

• What divorce actually costs including real ranges for different types of divorce
• Hidden fees that blindside people and catch them off guard
• Hourly rates vs. flat fees and which payment structure works best for your situation
• When you actually need expensive experts like forensic accountants or appraisers (and when you don't)
• The biggest money mistakes people make that cost them thousands
• How being organized saves you money with your attorney and mediator
• What to do if you can't afford divorce including resources and options
• Smart strategies to keep costs down without screwing yourself over in the settlement 

Whether you're just starting to consider divorce or actively going through the process, this conversation provides the practical financial information you need to make smart decisions about how you spend your money and protect your interests.

Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney. 

Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips.

The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation.

Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson