The Download

By The Download Podcast

We are The Download! A comedy podcast made to fill your eyes with tears... of joy! We do improv, talk about life, and make this podcast just for you <3... more

· Comedy

5

22 ratings

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FAQs about The Download:

How many episodes does The Download have?

The podcast currently has 57 episodes available.

The Download episodes:

April 15, 2020 Episode 26 - Gloves, Alaska, and Scottish Bears
PROVE YOU ARE A SEAL!! I CALL BULLSHIT ON YOU! 300 CONFIRMED KILLS? BULLSHIT! You WILL be investigated for Stolen Valor as of this morning. You just committed a Major FELONY by making threats of violence against Civilians utilizing US Navy weapons! I have exposed 100+ POS like you trying to ride OUR accomplishments on the Battle Field. You have my word as a US Army, 101st Airborne Ranger/Veteran, your ass is now mine, little lying bitch boy!!!!!!! Your STUPID ASS is going down FAST.
By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings, real life super hero names, game recommendations, recipes, game review requests, quarantine activities, fight stories, army lists, animated movies, or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at [email protected]! Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast! Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod The link to The Cloud ™(™ pending... kinda) is https://anchor.fm/the-cloud
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54min
April 08, 2020 Episode 25 - Ringtones, Jammers, and Expensive Plastic
I am and always will be a racist, everyone in my family is a racist. We're so racist that we've watched every single Nascar race and we all drive manuals too, that's how racist we are 😎. Some races are superior to others, mainly the F1 races, nothing like a good ol' race war. I love being a racist around everyone I see but not everyone appreciates the power of my Mustang, one time I got kicked out of a restaurant for telling everyone that I'm a racist . I wish more people were as racist as I am. Upvote if you're a true racist.
By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings, real life super hero names, game recommendations, recipes, game review requests, quarantine activities, fight stories, army lists, or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at [email protected]! Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast! Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod The link to The Cloud ™(™ pending... kinda) is https://anchor.fm/the-cloud
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1h 6min
April 01, 2020 Episode 24 - Cat Fights, Contracts, and Lockdowns
Reminds me of the first time I masturbated with lubrication.
I was 19 and visiting friends in another country and after a couple weeks without fapping I decided to lock myself in the bathroom and have a go.
It was more difficult than expected because of how cold the toilet seat and tiles were, so I decided I should try and use something to help keep me hard so I looked at the bathroom counter and saw lotion.
Well it did help and as I was going I felt a burning sensation, but because being erect gives you near god-like pain resistance, I didn't really think much of it.
As soon as I reached post-nut clarity, the waves of pain hit me like a truck and I almost threw up.
Turns out I didn't grab moisturizer, I grabbed exfoliating cream.
It took 6 months to heal during which I seriously considered whether I could just get a sex change and live my life as a woman. Every night I would wake up multiple times because when I tossed or turned in my sleep it would tear open healing wounds.
I can DM you a pic of what it looked like or you can google "Chapped lips" and it's essentially that where that super thin layer of skin is just under the head.
I'm not really sure what the point of telling this story is, but this has been my TED talk. Thanks.
By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings, real life super hero names, game recommendations, recipes, game review requests, quarantine activities, fight stories, or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at [email protected]! Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast! Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod The link to The Cloud ™(™ pending... kinda) is https://anchor.fm/the-cloud
...more
57min
March 25, 2020 Episode 23 - Crossings, Spirals, and Life Choices
I want the stretchy bitch (Helen Parr) from the Incredibles to milk my hard pee pee while I'm on my hands and knees like a cow. I want her to vigorously stroke my erect penis and make me cum hard as fuck over and over and over again for hours upon hours upon hours.
I want Helen to say "aww does my wittle man whore feel good" as she brutally jerks my spicy sausage until the entire empty gallon jar is filled to the brim with my cummies.
I want Helen to divorce her husband, abandon her kids and destroy all possible connections with them to come live with me forever and make me her fuck toy. I want to deposit my cum into her spank bank. I want her to milk me for an extended period of time every single night before I go to sleep and cuddle with her.
By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings, real life super hero names, game recommendations, recipes, game review requests, quarantine activities, or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at [email protected]! Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast! Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod The link to The Cloud ™(™ pending... kinda) is https://anchor.fm/the-cloud
...more
57min
March 18, 2020 Episode 22 - Games, Guns, and Great Knives
I fucking hate wreck it Ralph. Stupid fucking asshole destroyed that little girls car alongside her hopes and dreams. He could have just fucking told her not to race but no he just destroys it. He could have fucking explained why she shouldn't have racee but no he fucking destroys her car. also his stupid Fucking outfit. It's so fucking pretentious. the fucking overalls what a fucking hillbilly. I want to fucking wreck hi shitty brick house he made. and he gets fucking jealous because she found a fucking friend. he's a fucking pedophile. I want to crush his stupid pedophile face in with a fucking hammer. he probably fucking watches people sleep. fuck you fucking fatass fucking pedophile wearing overalls big nose ass bitch.
By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings, real life super hero names, game recommendations, recipes, game review requests, or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at [email protected]! Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast! Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod The link to The Cloud ™(™ pending... kinda) is https://anchor.fm/the-cloud
...more
51min
March 11, 2020 Episode 21 - Batman, EDC 2: Electric Boogaloo, and Egg-Vocadoo
Bruh I fucking hate peas, peas fucking suck they're literally the worst theres nothing good about them theyre the iceberg lettuce of whatever fucking food group they belong in. Theyre small and they pop in your mouth like gushers but theyre not gushes theyre fucking peas with no redeeming qualities of flavor. I dont give a fuck about the nutritional benefits of peas karen cause I dont think 3 small as fucks will help me with ligma. Peas are slaves in the veggietales world for a reason I hate peas
By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings, real life super hero names, game recommendations, recipes, or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at [email protected]! Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast! Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod The link to The Cloud ™(™ pending... kinda) is https://anchor.fm/the-cloud
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1h 12min
March 04, 2020 Episode 20 - Game Shows, Good Movies, and Go Bwah
ARE YOU TIRED OF HAVING TO SPEND ALL YOUR DOUBLOONS ON RENT?
FEAR NO LONGER, MIKEWILLGETITDONE
ARE YOU ALWAYS HUNGRY? SAD? TIRED?
WELL MIKEWILLGETTHATDONETOO
WE DONT KNOW HOW BUT WE WILL BECAUSE MIKEWILLGETITDONE
MIKEWILLGETITDONEMIKEWILLGETITDONEMILEWILLGETITDONEMIKEWILLGETITDONEMIKEWILLGETITDONEMIKEWILLGETITDONEMIKEWILLGETITDONEMIKEWILLGETITDONE
THERE IS NEVER A HOMELESS MAN OR EMPTY STOMACH IN THE MIKE EMPIRE
WHY, YOU MAY ASK?
BECAUSE MIKEGOTITDONE YOU BRAINDEAD MAGGOT
HAHA, TRUMP? DONTFUCKINGMENTIONHISNAMEEVERAGAINORILLKILLYOU
HAHA, THE OTHER CANDIDATES?!
MIKEGOTTHEMALLDONETOO
MIKEGOTTHEWORLDDONE
MIKEGOTTHEMIDDLEEASTDONE
MIKEGOTURMOMDONE
MIKEGOTJOEDONE
MIKEGOTYOURLOCALHOMESSMANDONE
MIKEGOTEVERYTHING DONE
MIKEGOTGODDONE
MIKEGOTMEDONE
HELP MIKEGETITDONE
VOTE FOR MIKE OR HIS GOONS WILL GET YOU NO JOKE IVE GOT A GUN TO MY HE
I am Mike Bloomberg, and I sponsor this campaign ad. Don't forget me. I'm everywhere you look. P.S. joe's my son
By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings, real life super hero names, game recomendations, or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at [email protected]!
Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast!
Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod
The link to The Cloud ™(™ pending... kinda) is https://anchor.fm/the-cloud
...more
1h 1min
February 26, 2020 Episode 19 - RLSH, Tea, and EDC
I despise the ice age baby
Ive watched the firdt ice age since it came out in 2002. I was 19 when it came out. I remember buying it on DVD when that came out snd ive watched it at least once or twice s day since. I watched the sequels when they came out too. Sometimes I watch them all in one go if I have nothing else to do.
If there is anything I have hated through my 30 years of existence its that fucking baby. That chinky looking Chinese looking fucking piece of shit stewie griffin baby. I fucking hate every single god forsaken scene its in. Its face makes me want to just fucking pull it out of thr TV and beat the ever loving fuck out of it until it starts to bleed out and I just let it die on the fucking street and maybe throw it in front of a train. Its fucking annoying piece of shit laugh and the way it just treats sid, diego and manfred like they're his fucking slaves and just whines and does that fucking annoying laugh and shit. For fucks sake I want 20th century fox to make a version wherr they jump the shit out of that baby and it fucking dies the most painful death humanly possible and breaks all of its bones before they eat it alive. I've put so many holes in the wall my mom is threatening to kick me out all because of this stupid piece of shit baby I fucking hate so much. Fuck I hope it just fucking dies the next time I watch ice age.
By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings, real life super hero names or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at [email protected]!
Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast!
Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod
The link to The Cloud ™(™ pending... kinda) is https://anchor.fm/the-cloud
...more
1h 6min
February 19, 2020 Episode 18 - Guns, Games, and Good Food
I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians broke into my house. "What the devil?" I said, as I grabbed my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blew a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he was dead on the spot. Drew my pistol on the second man and missed him entirely because it's smoothbore and I later found out that it nailed the neighbors dog. I had to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot. "Tally ho lads!" I yelled, as the grape shot shredded two men in the blast, the sound and shrapnel set off car alarms. I mounted my trusty war horse, Charles, and charged the last terrified rapscallion. Impaling him with my standard issue 2 foot bayonet. He bled out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds were impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at [email protected]!
Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast!
Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod
The link to The Cloud ™(™ pending... kinda) is https://anchor.fm/the-cloud
...more
1h 2min
February 12, 2020 Episode 17 - Dockers, Dribbles, and The Dead Cloud Rises
You take the place of sponge bob. You’re sleeping over at squidward house, cuddling the blueish-green squid. Squidward wakes up and kisses your yellow nose, you kiss his nose back. “You know, i’ve never actually hated you Sponge bob” said the big-nosed squid. “I know squidward, i just wanted your attention. I’m glad we’re finally together” Squidward smiles softly. You suddenly crawl on top of squidward, sliding your spongey hand under his shirt. “S-sponge bob-kun” squidward blushed. You start sliding your hand down near his crotch. “A-Ah!~ S-sponge bob!~” Moaned the blue-green squid “Shhh.. keep it down little squidy” You start taking your rectangular pants of, thrusting into the squid. “S-Sponge bob!~ you’re so big!~” after 5 hours of pounding into the squid, he comes back with a positive pregnancy test.
By the way, we would love for you to send us questions, comments, concerns, tips, tricks, nitpicks, pejorative statements, debate topics, quips, podcast topics, interesting ideas, CinemaSins™, kerfuffles, weird pizza toppings, reckonings, cereal rankings or anything else that pops into that beautiful mind of yours at [email protected]!
Also, we would love for you to join our Discord, follow us on the podcast network of your choice, and rate our podcast!
Links to all of these things can be found here: https://linktr.ee/thedownloadpod
...more
57min

FAQs about The Download:

How many episodes does The Download have?

The podcast currently has 57 episodes available.