The Duck Rants

Ever lost your luggage on a flight? Yeah… us too. In this episode, the Duck goes off on the absolute circus that is airline baggage handling. From your bag taking a surprise vacation to Detroit, to the smug “we found it!” call three days into your trip, this rant pulls no punches. Airlines, you charge us to check the bag — maybe try not losing it? Strap in for two minutes of pure, profanity-laced fury served with a side of sarcasm and a splash of tequila. Quack the fuck out.

Entitled tourists yelling "Do you speak English?" like they’re at a drive-thru — sit down. In this episode of Duck Rants, we torch the clueless gringos who forget they’re guests in Mexico. If you can order 12 cervezas, you can learn to say gracias. Buckle up, buttercup. It’s spicy.

Today’s Duck Rant takes aim at the “I-Can’t-Be-Passed” crowd — those slow, phone-zombie drivers who suddenly turn into NASCAR champions the second you try to pass them. We break down the ego, the drama, and the pure stupidity of this weird road rage reflex.

This week, your favorite foul-mouthed duck drops the big news: The front door of The Drunken Duck Cantina is now the official border of Nobullshitistan — the world’s first bullshit-free nation. Step inside for tequila, truth, and total honesty. No influencers, no White Claw, no whining. Just real ones only.

This week, the Duck fires off on immigration and the jackasses who think being born somewhere gives them superiority. It's a loud, raw reminder that people are people—respect isn’t earned by geography, it’s owed by humanity. Buckle up.

Yeah, it really happens. People eat, smile, and then ghost the bill like broke-ass magicians. In this episode, the Duck calls out Mandy from Arizona (hey girl 👋) and every other freeloading clown who thinks screwing over a bar is no big deal. Spoiler alert: it is. This one’s for every server who’s ever been stiffed and every bartender who's had to cover the tab. Karma’s coming—with a side of fries.

You ever throw a killer party and a bunch of freeloaders show up, drink nothing, eat nothing, and act like it’s a public park?

Yeah… the Duck’s had enough.

In this episode, I break down what it costs to put on a show—from real musicians to sound techs to DJs—and why if you’re not buying at least a goddamn napkin, you don’t belong.

If you vibe with this rant, share it. If it offends you... maybe it’s because it’s about you.

🎧 Recorded live at The Drunken Duck Cantina
🦆 Real rants. No filters. All feathers.

It’s 94 degrees, the sun’s melting tourists into the sidewalk, and some gringo just walked into the bar wondering why the AC isn’t already on full blast.

In this episode, the Duck goes full rage-mode on bar etiquette in Mexico: why we don’t chill the fucking furniture, how to unlock "VIP breeze mode," and what locals say when they’re "allergic to air."

If you’ve ever sweated through a bar stool or argued with someone wearing three layers in the tropics—this one’s for you.

💨 Cold drinks, hot takes, and zero filters.

Welcome to The Duck Rants. Quack the fuck in.