The Empathy Edge

You don't have to wait for empathy to strike. You can intentionally choose to engage in what my guest today calls Purposeful Empathy to change the dynamic of any interaction. But how? And how do you maintain your own boundaries when being empathic is part of your job?  Today, my guest, Anita Nowak, shares what purposeful empathy is, how and when to engage it, and even how to step back and reclaim your boundaries when empathy could burn you out. We both share personal stories of when we've actively chosen empathy in tough situations and how it transformed the exchange. We discuss the physiological changes to  our bodies that occur when we are engaged in empathy - and how empathogens, or certain psychedelics that have been shown to increase empathy, could be applied for therapeutic treatments to heal trauma, control aggression, or other instances where human connection can be challenging. 

Key Takeaways:

• We are born empathetic creatures, that is how our species has survived. For those who think they aren’t empathetic, that muscle has atrophied and can be rebuilt again. 
• Our brains cannot be in a state of anxiety or stress and in the state of empathy simultaneously.
• There has been a resurgence of research on the study of psychedelics and the potential it has for therapy. Previous research showed a positive relationship between taking these drugs, being accompanied by a trained professional, and outcomes as a result. 

"When it comes to the way we design our world, the way we design public policy, the way that we think about foreign aid, the way we think about how we treat each other and our families and our relationships across political divides, that we need to engage in empathy on purpose." —  Anita Nowak

"If you're feeling triggered by emotions, and you want to down regulate or self regulate, one of the best on ramps to empathy is through a little visit of gratitude." —  Anita Nowak

"We, as human beings, want a sense of belonging by nature. That's how we survived as a as Homo sapiens. We really need to draw on that." —  Anita Nowak

About Anita Nowak, PhD, Author of Purposeful Empathy

Anita Nowak, PhD is passionate about leveraging empathy for personal, organizational and social transformation. She is also dedicated to teaching and mentoring the next generation of changemakers.

She is a two-time TEDx speaker and author of Purposeful Empathy: Tapping Our Hidden Superpower for Personal, Organizational, and Social Change (Broadleaf Books, April 2023). She hosts a podcast and YouTube series by the same name, dedicated to amplifying the voices of people from around the globe who understand the world needs more empathy – and are doing something about it.

For the past fifteen years, Anita has held various leadership roles in higher education at McGill University dedicated to social innovation. She teaches Leadership, Ethics in Management and Social Entrepreneurship & Innovation at the Desautels Faculty of Management. She was named Professor of the Year in 2014 and 2019 and recipient of the David Johnston Faculty and Staff Award in 2021.

As a certified personal and professional coach, she helps purpose-driven leaders and organizations create cultures of empathy through her boutique advisory firm, Purposeful Empathy by Design. Anita also advises High Net Worth (HNW) families to translate their philanthropic goals into social impact.

Resources Mentioned:

How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence (https://michaelpollan.com/books/how-to-change-your-mind/#:~:text=In%20his%20latest%20book%2C%20How,addiction%2C%20depression%2C%20or%20death.) by Michael Pollan

Purposeful Empathy: The Connection between Empathy and “Oneness” ft. Elif M. Gokcigdem, PhD (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a696LvTAyiE)

A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama's Vision for Our World (https://www.amazon.com/Force-Good-Dalai-Lamas-Vision/dp/0553394894/ ) by Daniel Goleman

Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/

Download "The Human Middle" Your free guide to resolving workplace conflict from JLG Lawyers- https://thehumanmiddle.ai/

Racism was designed to keep us apart, It was designed to create conflict and a scarcity mindset. When we're socialized to hide our authentic selves and not bring who we really are to every interaction, we just cannot connect. Leaders, whether tackling diversity and inclusion or just everyday engagement and performance, can learn a lot of lessons about how authenticity and connection lead to better outcomes.

My guest today, Berwick Mahdi Davenport, and I tackled big questions for amazingly useful insights.  We discussed what is the ultimate human need, what role authentic connection plays in satisfying that need, and how listening is the hardest but most effective practice for leaders. We defined honesty, vulnerability, and authenticity in meaningful ways you can apply to your leadership right now, and how the lack of them gets in the way of effective performance. Finally, we talked about how racism and racial inequity play out in the workplace and society, preventing us from creating together and making smarter decisions.

Key Takeaways:

• When you talk less and listen more, your leadership will transform. 
• The ultimate human need is significance - this can look like a job package, a job title, a connection, relationships, love, and so much more. But it is all the same thing - they want to matter.
• When we are not authentic to ourselves and to those around us, people notice and feel that, and it causes a disconnect within ourselves. 
• Everybody deserves to have the respect and space to grow. Nobody gets to where they are now overnight.

"What we have to realize as a leader is that you cannot pay people anything of equal value, no matter how much it is, to their life. Please don't forget to live, because this thing happens so quickly." —  Berwick Mahdi Davenport

About Berwick Mahdi Davenport, CEO, Soul Focused Group

Mahdi, CEO of Soul Focused Group, brings over thirty years of experience as a practicing life coach and anti-racist organizer, facilitator, and spiritual teacher. Mahdi’s primary focus has been and continues to be facilitating human connection that helps people recover and heal from racism and other forms of mental and emotional trauma. This expertise and passion allowed Mahdi to expertly hold space for leaders to explore and heal from the cultural programming that allows racism to sustain.

Mahdi brings patience, wisdom, and lightning-bolt directness to his mission.  He is an alchemist at creating space for healing to make a new way of seeing possible.

Mahdi's honest, transformative, and healing approach at facilitating human connection gives birth to genuine relationships, friendships, and partnerships. People who once didn’t see eye to eye find themselves standing on common ground. The shift happens on common ground.

References Mentioned:

The Empathy Edge podcast with Paul Marobella: https://theempathyedge.com/paul-marobella-leading-through-crisis/

The Empathy Edge podcast with Daniel Jahn: https://theempathyedge.com/daniel-jahn-racial-solidarity-and-the-psychology-of-racism/

The Empathy Edge podcast with M.E. Hart: https://theempathyedge.com/m-e-hart-how-to-bridge-divisions-by-embracing-our-common-humanity/

The Empathy Edge podcast with M.E. Hart: https://theempathyedge.com/m-e-hart-how-to-have-honest-conversations-at-work/

Connect with Berwick Mahdi Davenport

Email: [email protected]

Soul Focused Group: https://www.soulfocusedgroup.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/berwick-mahdi-davenport-3494a42

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/berwick.davenport

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesoulfocusedgroup/

Their New Workshop: Creating Human Solidarity: The Solution To Ending Racism

Don’t forget to download your free guide! Discover The 5 Business Benefits of Empathy: http://red-slice.com/business-benefits-empathy

Connect with Maria: 

Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com

Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com

Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross

Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy

LinkedIn: Maria Ross

Instagram: @redslicemaria

Twitter: @redslice

Facebook: Red Slice

Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/

Download "The Human Middle" Your free guide to resolving workplace conflict from JLG Lawyers- https://thehumanmiddle.ai/

Great leaders are self-aware about their own strengths and encourage their teams to be as well. They harmonize everyone's strengths, including their own, so folks know when to lean in or rely on others.  These leaders actively leverage strengths to achieve high performance, but it starts with being willing and curious about your strengths.

Today, Brandon Miller and I talk about the GALLUP Clifton Strengths Finder - and I share a little about my results from 2016, and how they led to researching and writing The Empathy Edge! Brandon shares why you as a leader should care about strengths-based development, and the role emotional intelligence plays in it. We discuss the strength of empathy and how it influences organizational outcomes. And Brandon tells us about times when he's had to recommend decision makers use empathy to support their teams. We even talk about the shadow sides of some of the strengths. It’s a fascinating discussion all you leaders and aspiring leaders will just love - and Brandon has a very special offer for all of you at the end, so stay tuned.

Key Takeaways:

• Emotional intelligence, at its core, is thinking with our frontal lobe. It's just thinking logically, carefully and, at times, slowly, through situations.
• The strength of empathy and the dictionary definition of empathy are not the same thing. Even if you do not have the strength of empathy, you can be empathetic. 
• Utilizing the strengths finder will allow your team to have a common language to talk about your strengths. 

"Any effective psychometric assessment gives the gift of self-awareness. I get to know myself and my best place, my worst place, and everything in the middle. If I can get to the point where I know myself that way, without judgment, I have climbed the ladder of emotional intelligence." —  Brandon Miller

About Brandon Miller, Author, Certified Strengths Coach, CEO

Brandon Miller is one of the FIRST 7 Certified GALLUP Clifton Strengths Finder Coaches in the world. Over 15 years ago, he was a very early practitioner of Clifton StrengthsFinder using it as the Executive Leader for a non-profit organization. He has since coached hundreds of leaders to find and leverage their strengths for themselves and their teams. He is the CEO of 34 Strong, a coaching and consulting firm dedicated to improving employee engagement. He has nearly 15 years of experience providing specialized leadership training, coaching, advising, and facilitating.

Brandon is also the Co-Founder of Incredible Family, a consulting agency that educates, empowers, and encourages working parents to take a strengths-based approach to parenting in order to unlock their best selves and raise strong, happy children and teens. He and his wife Analyn Miller are successful business owners, parents to seven children, and authors of Play To Their Strengths and Incredible Parent.

Brandon's Special Offer!

If you're interested in taking the Clifton Strengths Finder assessment for FREE to learn more about your strengths, please email Brandon at [email protected] for complimentary test access.

Connect with Brandon Miller

34Strong: https://34strong.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/brandon34strong

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brandon-miller-873a6bb/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/analynbrandon

Book: Play to Their Strengths by Analyn and Brandon Miller https://www.amazon.com/Play-Their-Strengths-Approach-Parenting/dp/0736976175

Book: Incredible Parent by Analyn and Brandon Miller

https://www.amazon.com.mx/Incredible-Parent-Parenting-Strengths-Confidence/dp/0736981691

Don’t forget to download your free guide! Discover The 5 Business Benefits of Empathy: http://red-slice.com/business-benefits-empathy

Connect with Maria: 

Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com

Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com

Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross

Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy

LinkedIn: Maria Ross

Instagram: @redslicemaria

Twitter: @redslice

Facebook: Red Slice

Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/

Download "The Human Middle" Your free guide to resolving workplace conflict from JLG Lawyers- https://thehumanmiddle.ai/

It's already time to make space in your exceedingly full schedule to plan your goals for next year. So why does this happen to us, every year? I propose it's because we go about planning all wrong. We start with all the things we think we “should” want, rather than focus on what's already going right and setting intentions into motion that not only get us where we want to go, but give us more ease, flow, and clarity.

Today,I share how you can set meaningful goals based on your values and some different ways you can look at planning for the new year. And how a new perspective  on asking the right question can lead to more joy, ease - and success. 

Happy holidays, in whatever way you celebrate and catch you in the new year. Thank you for being part of my community! 

Key Takeaways:

• Your values can support your goals, rather than being contorted to fit after the fact. 
• You can set meaningful goals for your business, just like you can for yourself, you just need to understand who you, as a company, want to be in the next year. 
• When you ask questions about how your employees and stakeholders feel about your organization, the goals that are made after that understanding will be supported by the understood culture and mission. 

"It is possible to holistically align our professional and personal goals for more joy, but only if they're supported by asking the right questions." —  Maria Ross

References Mentioned:

Book: Who Do I Want to Become?

Don’t forget to download your free guide! Discover The 5 Business Benefits of Empathy: http://red-slice.com/business-benefits-empathy

Connect with Maria: 

Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com

Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com

Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross

Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy

LinkedIn: Maria Ross

Instagram: @redslicemaria

Twitter: @redslice

Facebook: Red Slice

Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/

We all know that when it comes to leadership and accomplishing a mission, the US Military is hard to beat. But we think we understand what that means - it's actually not about cold commands or ranks and titles. If you want to become a more effective leader, then tune in! My guests, John Buford and Sean Georges, both former military leaders themselves, unpack the fundamentals of good leadership so you can be more effective.

Jonn and Sean view leadership as a real, human-centric responsibility, not a romanticized, mythical calling. Today we talk about what authentic leadership really means, why leadership doesn’t derive from power, and how to put people and a shared mission at the heart of your leadership model. They share how military leadership principles can lead to business success (and why some civilian leaders misunderstand what that means) and the important difference between leading and managing. We discuss the mistakes well-intentioned leaders make, and how to balance supporting your team and being human with strength, confidence, and excellence. Enjoy these practical and timeless leadership lessons.

Key Takeaways:

• There is a responsibility of care and service that comes with real leadership. It’s not about demanding and ordering, it’s about serving with your team for the larger mission. 
• The best leaders don’t need to remind you that they outrank you; they serve you. Leadership doesn’t work the way an org chart looks. 
• Being a follower first will allow you to better understand and empathize with those you are later leading. 

"Real, authentic leadership is an upside-down world:  It’s you at the bottom, conceptually influencing from that place looking up at your teammates, in alignment with mission." —  John Buford

About John Buford, Ph.D., Co-founder, On Mission

John Buford served as a Marine Corps officer for more than 20 years, conducting operations overseas and teaching at officer training schools. After retiring from the Marines, John earned a doctoral degree in education (training and performance improvement specialization) and became a certified wilderness medicine instructor, college professor, and outdoor educator. He is the co-founder of On Mission Leadership, a certified leadership coach, professional wilderness guide, whitewater kayak/canoe and sea kayak instructor, human performance consultant, and board member of several nonprofit organizations.

About Sean Georges, J.D., LL.M., Co-Founder, On Mission

Servant Leader, retired General Counsel and SVP of Human Resources for a publicly traded retailer with 5,000 employees in 400 stores; Naval Academy Graduate and Marine Corps Officer and Judge Advocate; Law degrees from the University of Illinois and The Judge Advocate General's School of the Army at the University of Virginia.

References Mentioned:

Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don't by Simon Sinek

The Empathy Edge podcast interview with Val Ries: How to Be the Leader Everyone Wants to Work For

Connect with John and Sean:

Website: https://onmissionleaders.com

Book: On Mission: Your Journey to Authentic Leadership https://onmissionbook.com/

John Buford on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-john-buford-340b37a/

Sean Georges on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sean-georges-031b486/

Don’t forget to download your free guide! Discover The 5 Business Benefits of Empathy: http://red-slice.com/business-benefits-empathy

Connect with Maria: 

Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com

Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com

Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross

Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy

LinkedIn: Maria Ross

Instagram: @redslicemaria

Twitter: @redslice

Facebook: Red Slice

Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/

Download "The Human Middle" Your free guide to resolving workplace conflict from JLG Lawyers- https://thehumanmiddle.ai/

As we slide into Thanksgiving here in the United States, I'm facing mixed emotions about this holiday as I get older and wiser. Now, don't get me wrong, I have a lot to be thankful for, but let's talk for a second about the myth of thanksgiving. From a traditional perspective, gathering with friends and family and reflecting on all we have to be grateful for holds comfort and joy. No matter how dysfunctional our communities or our families may be, many of us are able to come together on this holiday, to eat amazing food, watch the kids play, catch some football, and gracefully sidestep any divisive political debates, which in recent years has taken on a whole new level of Herculean effort, but having a more realistic understanding of the roots of this holiday, gives me pause. 

Listen in to hear about the true story of the first Thanksgiving, get some tips around being truthful and compassionate, while still honoring tradition, and recognize the evolution of knowledge and truth and how it can help us to become better as humans. Happy Thanksgiving to all who are listening!

Key Takeaways:

• The first Thanksgiving was a harvest festival, not a banquet that the pilgrims and indigenous people were both invited to, and after which, relationships turned sour.
• We can be honest and still honor our own family traditions.
• We can’t have conversations around empathy without acknowledging that one of the country's most revered holidays is a false picture of history, and has roots in oppression.
• Shatter facades and replace them with something that is honest, true, and loving, both in your personal life and in your professional life. 

"Please don't be afraid of how our knowledge evolves, even if it means uncomfortable mindset shifts. That's how we get better over time as humans." —  Maria Ross

References: 

Jasmine Bradshaw, First Name Basis podcast, The Untold Story of Thanksgiving (Encore)

The Empathy Edge podcast: Elisa Camahort Page: The Art of Empathy in Politics, Activism, and Media BS

The Empathy Edge podcast: M.E. Hart: How to Have Honest Conversations at Work

The Empathy Edge podcast: Mónica Guzmán: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Divided Political Times

The Empathy Edge podcast: David Weissman: From MAGA to Jewish Liberal Progressive

Don’t forget to download your free guide! Discover The 5 Business Benefits of Empathy: http://red-slice.com/business-benefits-empathy

Connect with Maria: 

Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com

Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com

Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross

Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy

LinkedIn: Maria Ross

Instagram: @redslicemaria

Twitter: @redslice

Facebook: Red Slice

Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/

We've been through some serious business and culture shifts the last few years. But this is the way things always are. If it's not COVID, it will surely be something else in the future. Remember, the only constant is change, even if you don't ask or plan for it. How can you examine, design and measure your organization's ability  - and your own leadership ability - to build trust so you can more easily adapt to change and bring your people along?

My guest today is Esther Weinberg, Founder and Chief Leadership Development Officer of The Ready Zone. Esther shares six Zone Performance Indicators, of ZPI's that are paramount to profitable growth. We also had a rich conversation about how emotions, body, and language impact performance in a real way, how emotions are  "signposts" that should not be ignored, and how to look at complaints as commitments - and offer some tough love advice if you're a leader struggling to get comfortable with dealing with emotions if you want to achieve high performance. We both have some choice words for you at the end of our interview!

Key Takeaways:

• As your company changes, it may be time to usher people out of the organization (with empathy and dignity) who are no longer a fit for the changes the company has had and hire someone else who may be a better fit for the new place the company is in. 
• Culture transcends the physical office space. If your culture is not portable, that’s where the effort needs to be.
• Create a vision narrative (not just a vision tagline). Give the vision a story that people can get behind and want to be a part of creating.
• If you hear a complaint as a commitment, think about how that changes what you’re hearing and what action you are willing to take. 

"Emotions are signposts about what is important to us. You have to actually ground yourself in them to see whether or not your emotions are telling you the truth and are leading you in the direction of something that's important to you." —  Esther Weinberg

About Esther Weinberg, Founder, The Ready Zone

Esther Weinberg is a business growth accelerator that equips executives in high-growth industries to create big pivots, big impact and big returns. As Founder & Chief Leadership Development Officer of The Ready Zone, she powerfully fast-tracks an organization’s progress by focusing on The Ready Zone’s six Zone Performance Indicators (ZPIs), that are paramount to profitable growth. Esther’s innovative strategies have assisted clients to grow, scale and thrive in the worst and best of times including Netflix, NBCUniversal, Microsoft, CNN, Adobe, Disney, and IMAX. Esther is a member of the Forbes Coaches Council and a contributor to Forbes. 

Connect with Esther Weinberg

Website: https://thereadyzone.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/estherweinberg/

Her Book: Better Leaders. Better People. Better Results. 6 Eye-Opening Strategies to Thrive Through Change You Didn't Ask For: https://thereadyzone.com/resources/

Don’t forget to download your free guide! Discover The 5 Business Benefits of Empathy: http://red-slice.com/business-benefits-empathy

Connect with Maria: 

Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com

Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com

Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross

Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy

LinkedIn: Maria Ross

Instagram: @redslicemaria

Twitter: @redslice

Facebook: Red Slice

Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/

Download "The Human Middle" Your free guide to resolving workplace conflict from JLG Lawyers- https://thehumanmiddle.ai/

If you've ever experienced the healthcare system due to a medical emergency or a chronic illness, then you know the system is often set up to deliver cookie cutter outputs based on inputs. There is little room for "true empathy" even though many healthcare professionals want to help people. In healthcare - and in our workplaces and organizations - we tend to get empathy wrong! Empathy is not about being nice, quickly easing someone's pain or solving their problem. Empathy is about being with someone, deeply listening, and adapting based on their history, context and point of view. That's how you find root causes and effectively and collaboratively solve problems for the long term - rather than band-aiding challenges for the short term.

It was a joy today to speak to functional nutritionist, Andrea Nakayama. We discuss how a personal tragedy when she was just 7 weeks pregnant led her to the work of empowering health practitioners to rethink nutrition, systems and care protocols. Andrea shares what the Empathy Trap is and why so many of us fall into it, leading to negative results.  Tune in if you say you're empathetic but constantly feel anxious and overwhelmed! We discuss how to balance empathy with personal boundaries through her ART framework for patient care - which is a powerful tool for any leader in any industry. Andrea also shared her perspective on the health conversations coming out of the pandemic around mental health and wellness. I had such an epiphany  in this interview about HOW we can show empathy without losing ourselves - and how to problem solve with empathy - take a listen!

Key Takeaways:

• In functional nutrition and functional medicine, it is about creating a therapeutic partnership, looking for root causes, and taking a systems based approach. 
• Doctors do not get a lot of nutrition training in medical school. They can’t know what they don’t know and, a lot of the time, they are not willing to make recommendations they cannot follow up on or know how to follow up on. 
• In health care, the training is about the x for the y. We need to broaden our perspective of what healthcare is, how people have access, and understand that the solution is multidimensional. 

"Oftentimes, we overlap the problem and the solution, we spend five minutes on the problem and 45 minutes on the solution. And we actually have to flip that: When we spend more time in the assessment, we better understand our road to a sustainable solution." —  Andrea Nakayama 

About Andrea Nakayama, Functional Nutritionist:

As the host of the 15-Minute Matrix Podcast and the founder of Functional Nutrition Alliance, Andrea is leading thousands of students and practitioners around the globe in a revolution to offer better solutions to the growing chronic illness epidemic. By highlighting the importance of systems biology, root cause methodology, and therapeutic partnerships, she helps historically underserved individuals reclaim ownership of their health.

References Mentioned:

Rhonda Manns, The Empathy Edge podcast, Design Thinking in Healthcare - and Beyond

Connect with Andrea Nakayama:

Website: https://andreanakayama.com

FX Nutrition: https://www.fxnutrition.com/about-andrea/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreanakayama/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndreaNakayama.page

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreanakayama/

Don’t forget to download your free guide! Discover The 5 Business Benefits of Empathy: http://red-slice.com/business-benefits-empathy

Connect with Maria: 

Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com

Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com

Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross

Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy

LinkedIn: Maria Ross

Instagram: @redslicemaria

Twitter: @redslice

Facebook: Red Slice

Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/

Download "The Human Middle" Your free guide to resolving workplace conflict from JLG Lawyers- https://thehumanmiddle.ai/

What is it like to go through life as a man, build a successful career, get married and have kids -  and then come out as a woman in your late 40's? What is it like to experience life from a different gender vantage point? How is your culture creating an environment where diverse people of all backgrounds, such as trans individuals, can do their best work?

These are the questions we tackle today with my guest, culture and leadership consultant Cori Lovejoy. In October of 2020, Cori came out as a transgender woman and took a sabbatical to focus on her transition. Now, she is dedicating the next phase of her work to helping leaders create organizational cultures that are inclusive, diverse, equitable, welcoming, and ultimately more compassionate. She is motivated by a deep conviction that workplace cultures can contribute to employee well-being while achieving maximum organizational effectiveness and impact.

Today Cori shares her personal journey to coming out as trans, how it has impacted her life, and what she learned about white male privilege and how differently men and women are treated. We also share the important work your leaders and organization can do to create a more inclusive culture where smart, talented people in underrepresented groups can contribute fully to your success.  

Take a listen but first a trigger warning: We discuss the topics of suicide, addiction, and eating disorders in this episode. If you're facing mental health issues or thoughts of suicide, please dial 988 in the US or reach out for mental health services in your country.  Please take care of yourself.

Key Takeaways:

• Everybody has their own story, their own journey, and their own challenges. It is not for us to judge what others are going through, regardless of their stage of life.
• The way men and women are perceived in society is different. With the same behavior, men are perceived as assertive, women are perceived as aggressive. In most cases, this is unconscious bias, but it is happening every day.
• Respect is the key. Use people’s correct pronouns, affirm their gender identity, and trust that they know who they are. 
• Learning to love yourself unconditionally, whether trans or cis, is a common human experience. 

"Proximity, perspective taking, and personal work will unearth these biases, and make the unconscious biases conscious. And that takes a lot of introspection and personal work." —  Cori Lovejoy

About Cori Lovejoy , Culture and Leadership Consultant

In October of 2020, Cori came out as a transgender woman and took a sabbatical to focus on her transition. Now, she is dedicating the next phase of her work to helping leaders create organizational cultures that are inclusive, diverse, equitable, welcoming, and ultimately more compassionate. She is motivated by a deep conviction that workplace cultures can contribute to employee well-being while achieving maximum organizational effectiveness and impact.

As Director of Compassion for Brighton Jones, a wealth management company based in the Pacific Northwest of the US, Cori designed and led the company’s Mindfulness-based Emotional and Social Intelligence (MESI) program, established to support employees in becoming more compassionate through training in mindfulness, self-awareness, empathy, and compassion. Cori also led MESI workshops for other companies, local non-profits, as well as Brighton Jones clients. In addition, she co-founded and organized the Compassionate Leadership Summit, an annual conference centered on compassion and mindfulness that grew to over 500 participants and 50 presenters in less than two years, and she taught a course in Compassionate Leadership at Washington State University as a Teaching Associate Professor.

Before joining Brighton Jones in 2015, Cori spent over 15 years in various leadership roles within the wealth management industry and then several years as an independent leadership coach and organizational development consultant. She holds an MBA in wealth management and an MA in organizational leadership.

Connect with Cori Lovejoy

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/corilovejoy

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cory.custer.75

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cori.lovejoy/

Resources Mentioned

The Empathy Edge podcast, Cori's past interview (as Cory Custer) How a Compassionate Culture Leads to Success

Paula Stone Williams, TEDx talk: I've Lived as a Man and Woman. Here's What I've Learned

Don’t forget to download your free guide! Discover The 5 Business Benefits of Empathy: http://red-slice.com/business-benefits-empathy

Connect with Maria: 

Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com

Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com

Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross

Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy

LinkedIn: Maria Ross

Instagram: @redslicemaria

Twitter: @redslice

Facebook: Red Slice

Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/

Download "The Human Middle" Your free guide to resolving workplace conflict from JLG Lawyers- https://thehumanmiddle.ai/

How often do you challenge your assumptions about others and get curious - especially about those in your workplace or your family who have different views than you, political or otherwise? In our increasingly polarized society, my guest today, Mónica Guzmán, believes that we can't count on institutions to bridge those divides for us - we have to do it one conversation, one person, at a time.  

Today, we discussed how she got involved in the work of helping people understand each other better and what role her journalism career played in that mission. We dived into how to bring emotion back into conversations rather than trying to win arguments with data, and a magic question you can ask people who disagree with you to better understand them. We talked about how to have more curious conversations and how to navigate roadblocks. Some great tips for those of you going into election season or tense family dinners over the holidays!

Key Takeaways:

• You can’t have a negotiation if there is no talking. We are judging more while talking less and that only leads further to divide, and not to empathy and understanding.
• The level we think change doesn’t matter, one-on-one conversations, is where change happens the most.
• You often believe that the people that you love and care about who disagree with you are not the majority but an exception to the rule. However, if you talk with others who disagree with you, you will find out that they are not the exception, but the rule

"If we don't engage across disagreement, we risk not seeing variables that are really important to other people, and make for a far more honest accounting of everything that's at play when people make decisions." —  Mónica Guzmán

About Mónica Guzmán, Senior Fellow for Public Practice at Braver Angels:

Mónica Guzmán is a bridge builder, journalist, and entrepreneur who lives for great conversations sparked by curious questions. She’s the director of digital and storytelling at Braver Angels, the nation’s largest cross-partisan grassroots organization working to depolarize America; host of live interview series at Crosscut; and cofounder of the award-winning Seattle newsletter The Evergrey. Monica's new book, I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times has been praised by the media, readers and influencers alike. 

She was a 2019 fellow at the Henry M. Jackson Foundation, where she studied social and political division, and a 2016 fellow at the Nieman Foundation for Journalism at Harvard University, where she researched how journalists can rethink their roles to better meet the needs of a participatory public. She was named one of the 50 most influential women in Seattle, served twice as a juror for the Pulitzer Prizes, and plays a barbarian named Shadrack in her besties’ Dungeons & Dragons campaign. A Mexican immigrant, Latina, and dual US/Mexico citizen, she lives in Seattle with her husband and two kids and is the proud liberal daughter of conservative parents.

Resources  Mentioned:

The Empathy Edge: Interview with Edwin Rutsch, How Empathy Circles Can Change the World

Center for Building a Culture of Empathy

http://cultureofempathy.com

Empathy Circle Website

http://www.empathycircle.com

Check out Edwin and an Empathy Circle in action in the documentary Trumphobia: What Both Sides Fear: trumphobiamovie.com/watch

Connect with Mónica Guzmán:

Braver Angels Website: https://braverangels.org/

Monica's Website and info about her book, I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times: https://reclaimcuriosity.com

Website: https://moniguzman.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/moniguzman

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/moniguzman/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reclaimcuriosity

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moniguzman/

Don’t forget to download your free guide! Discover The 5 Business Benefits of Empathy: http://red-slice.com/business-benefits-empathy

Connect with Maria: 

Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com

Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com

Hire Maria to speak at your next event: Red-Slice.com/Speaker-Maria-Ross

Take my LinkedIn Learning Course! Leading with Empathy

LinkedIn: Maria Ross

Instagram: @redslicemaria

Twitter: @redslice

Facebook: Red Slice

Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/

Download "The Human Middle" Your free guide to resolving workplace conflict from JLG Lawyers- https://thehumanmiddle.ai/