The Empowering Working Moms Podcast-Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik

Episode 73: Top 10 Burnout Mistakes And Solutions; How to Prevent Exhaustion & Stress

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the top ten mistakes moms with demanding jobs make when it comes to burnout, exhaustion, and stress. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about solutions to these top ten mistakes so you can implement them in your own life. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Common mistakes when dealing with burnout and exhaustion include ignoring the signs, neglecting self-care, overcommitting, and embracing perfectionism.
• The difficulty women have getting help and the importance of seeking support.
• Recognizing the need for downtime.
• Individualized solutions, like setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and seeking professional guidance, can assist in combating burnout.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year:

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 73. Well, hello there, I am so thrilled to have you listening to this podcast episode today. Actually, it is now suddenly freezing and cold in the Northeast. We had this day, I think last Saturday where the weather was 80 degrees. And I was outside with my kiddos, and then literally Halloween, it started getting so much colder.

Anyway, I am enjoying the holiday season and just savoring this time with my children. Someone was telling me that when your kids turn around 15, they're not quite as interested in hanging out with you. So my older one is five. So I guess that gives me about 10 years left. This time is really precious, so I do my best to be present with them as much as I can.

And of course, we can't control their perceptions of us. So we just do the best that we can. And I know that you, mama, are doing an amazing job because you're doing way better than your parents ever did. So take this moment to pat yourself on the back.

Now I will say, one of my clients, she had found herself feeling so guilty as a mom and she was so distraught feeling like she was doing a bad job. But through working with me, we really worked on self empowerment. She was able to give herself compassion and love. And through the work we did together, she really felt like she was being an awesome mom and no longer was struggling with mom guilt.

Which I know is such a pervasive issue for so many of us because we've got these careers and we're stretched so so so thin. So if you want to learn more about the work that we do inside my program overcome burnout for good check out my free masterclass or steps to overcome burnout and exhaustion for good, the link will be in the show notes, you can check it out there.

So today I want to talk about the top 10 mistakes, according to me, that people make when trying to combat exhaustion and burnout. Now we know that exhaustion and burnout is just so pervasive amongst moms in general. And then moms in demanding careers because we're functioning like men at work. And then we've got all these duties at home. So you end up being spread super thin.

You're juggling a bunch of different balls in the air and you feel like you're failing at it all. And on top of that you're tired, you're dragging, so forget about enjoying your life. So once you can kind of understand these mistakes, I'm going to talk about the mistakes and then why they occur. And then I'm gonna give you some solutions as well to combat these mistakes. And if you implement just one of the things that we talked about today, you're gonna see a positive effect in your life. So here we go.

So the top 10 mistakes that people make when trying to deal with exhaustion and burnout is one ignoring the signs, two neglecting themselves, three overcommitting, four engaging in perfectionism, five not seeking any help at all, six not being able to manage their time or their stress, seven no work life balance, eight obsessing over problems, nine really not paying attention to the importance of some stillness, and 10 not being intentional and not evaluating priorities.

So let's talk about number one, ignoring the signs of burnout. Now, the signs are fatigue, irritability, not feeling motivated. And these signs we often don't recognize because we have been trained to ignore them. And I say this as a doctor where residency and even in practice, there is no room or compassion for being tired or exhausted, you just grin and bear through it. Whether that is a 24 hour shift, or taking call all night long, or working for 10-11 days in a row, that is just normalized. So if you're exhausted or you feel burnt out, often you will not even notice it's happening.

So that's basically why that's happening. Some solutions to work on this. So really checking in with yourself and seeing how you feel every morning, first thing when you wake up, that is very helpful just to see. And really listening to your mind and your body. For example, I'm on a push push mentality. That's just how I was raised. That's how I'm conditioned as a doctor and I just turned 40 in June.

So as I'm living in my 40s now, I noticed that my body gets a little bit more fatigued than it used to. So I was working out five to six days a week and sometimes it if my back is sore, or my entire body's hurting, I will skip a workout that day. And maybe that's not what other people are preaching. But I have learned to really listen and give my mind and body grace. So these are a couple things you can do to really check in with yourself so that you're not ignoring what's happening.

Alright, mistake number two, neglecting one's self. So the reason that so many of us do this is because we're conditioned to put the thoughts and feelings of other people in front of our own, we're often raised to be caretakers, we especially put our children above ourselves, which is okay.

But what this really results in is that we neglect ourselves and we forget about what we want and what is good for us. And in that process, not only if it goes on for too long, can you really lose a sense of yourself, but this is what leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness, because you're not even paying attention to your wants and your needs.

And if you don't, no one will. We have to treat ourselves with love and care to really give an example to other people of how we want to be treated. So there are so many ways to go about doing this, I think the first thing is to just acknowledge that we do neglect ourselves and that it is okay to look out for ourselves or care for ourselves. And that is not selfish. And in fact, when you start to see what is healthy for you, you can be intentional and take action to do those things.

So I'll give you my own personal examples. For me connecting with others on a bit of a deeper level, that is so important for me to feel like I belong in the tribe. We all need a sense of tribe, and when we lack that we lack that foundation, and then we feel alone. So connecting with those that I really care about, that is really significant to me. So I make time to let's say, connect with old friends.

And actually, funnily enough, it's so funny when I'm recording this podcast, I have plans to connect with my college group of friends. So we've been friends for over 20 years, and spend some time with them, which is so beautiful. And then very last minute, a dear medical school friend of mine is in town. So I'm going to try and make time to see her today.

But the point is that this is time that I'm taking away from my kids, let's say. But first of all, I'm very mindful about time away from my kids, I try to spend as much time as possible with them, as I said in the beginning of the episode, I've got 10 good years left with my son when he still wants to hang out with me. So I know that time is precious, and I try to be present and be here as much as I can.

But I also give myself grace to fit in time with those other people outside of my two children that I care about, because that really makes me feel grounded, that is a part of my identity. A part of my identity is close meaningful connections and friendships, and by fostering that I get to feel fulfilled, and I get to put my best foot forward as a mother. So just give yourself some compassion and grace to take some time for yourself on a regular basis in order to fulfill yourself.

And I'm not pushing self care, because a massage really isn't the end all be all, it's not going to solve your problems. But if you can figure out what is one meaningful part of the way you want to live life or your identity, and then take action to create that in your life, you're going to see that you're going to be more fulfilled, and you're gonna therefore show up better for your kids, be more patient with your kids, because you're not overextending yourself, and you're actually taking some time. So that is how to combat the self neglect mistake.

All right, mistake number three is over committing. So that really comes from we're supposed to take care of everyone, maybe we were raised that way. And then it really results in feeling depleted. So this comes in the form of taking on too many responsibilities, not setting boundaries, saying yes to everything, including projects that you want nothing to do with or saying yes to hanging out with people that you don't even like, it makes no sense.

And this also has to do with people pleasing as well, because you're going to do things to make other people happy, even if it's at a cost to yourself. And this kind of behavior and way of doing things really does lead to exhaustion. So one thing we can do to stop over committing is really understanding the power of no.

Now, there was a New York Times article several years ago talking about the power of no and this was the first time I'd ever heard about this. And I was so shocked because I never said no to anyone for anything. And then when I became a mother, I just realized that my life was so different. And I had to manage so much more than just when I was on my own.

And I really started to understand that it was important to say no to things that did not align with my priorities or the way I wanted to do things. So one thing I would say is definitely practicing no.

So for me, I will never forget the first time that I said no to something. And it was at work. And I had finished my workday, I was looking forward to going home and I had an extra hour before my nanny was off to work out. And I wanted to do that, it's good for me and my mental health, etc. And one of the senior people in my group asked me to go back and see an admission, he said, can you and I said, no, sorry, I can't.

And I remember feeling so guilty and so bad about it. And I think he ended up seeing the patient that day, because he lives near the hospital anyway, I'm about a half hour away. But it was fine. Like he didn't care and it was no big deal. I don't think it was much sweat off his back. But it was a huge deal for me to say no.

So once I started understanding, saying no, I got so much more comfortable with it. So really say no. And I would start with people who you're not related to like relationships that are not as close because it's not as scary to do that. Also just learning to delegate lower value responsibilities, like errands, for example, if you can have someone help you with those. Or you don't have to be doing some of the stuff that doesn't bring you joy, I would suggest doing that so that you're not over committed.

Alright, mistake number four is perfectionism. And I talk a lot about this on the podcast. I've had episodes on this because we are conditioned to be perfect. And that is insanity. Because to err is to be human. And I've said this quote before, but it's so critical to remember that being human means that we make mistakes, and we're never going to be perfect.

So if we strive for perfection, we're always going to be unhappy. And the perfectionism comes from a really young age and just the way the school system, they give us tests and in South Asian families, like in my family, if I got a 98, where are the other two points, like everything had to be perfect.

And as an adult, it's not helpful to be this way. Even if this served us to do well in school or excelling at work. And remember, the more we try to be perfect, and we're not going to be, then it just automatically leads to dissatisfaction. So by understanding this concept, you can start to not strive for perfectionism as much and just take it easy on yourself, give yourself grace, and realize that no one's perfect, and we can just do our best and be satisfied with that.

So in terms of combating perfectionism, just being aware of it, and realizing that it is okay to make mistakes, and maybe the next time something's not perfect, I get really triggered by a lack of perfection, because that's just how I was conditioned.

So when things are not perfect, I will literally just take three or four really long, deep breaths, inhale, counting to nine, exhale, counting to eight or nine, and rinse and repeat, do that a few times. And it just helps to ground me so that I can acknowledge that something being perfect doesn't matter, and then proceed to let it go.

The next mistake is not seeking help. So I think women often feel like they can do tasks themselves or they feel ashamed with whatever issues they might be having. And so then they might not talk to their friends or ask for support from people. And then that just adds to the burden even more.

So a few solutions for this is really, one thing to do is to reach out to friends and family. Because everyone is dealing with their own stuff and their own issues. So they're not going to sit there and think about whether you need help or not. But what I found is when I actually reach out to people, they show up for me.

So I was actually struggling myself with some things a few weeks ago. And I reached out to a dear group of close friends and a couple other individuals and everybody made time to call me and talk to me and it completely helped me move through that tough time. So point being, if you actually reach out to people, often they will show up for you and you're not a burden because just think about how you would show up for them.

Also, the second thing you can do is get professional help. Be it a therapist or some support, group therapy, or even life coaching. And one of my recent episodes, episode number 70, I discussed the differences between life coaching and therapy in case you're wondering about that. But those are some wondering more about the nuances and the differences between them and what would be a good fit for you. You can listen to that episode but they are also great options for moving through burnout and exhaustion.

Now another mistake that people make is not really managing their stress and just kind of living without intention. So this really creates more exhaustion for all of us and makes burnout worse. So some things you can do to deal with stress. Really take time for yourself, even if it's five minutes in the morning to savor your morning cup of coffee.

Have a routine, set an intention for the day, especially taking time to exercise. I make sure I exercise at least four to five times a week, and this really boosts my endorphins, and actually the breathing in cardio, like the rapid breathing, I noticed that just focusing on my breath kind of takes me out of my head. And it really helps to reduce stress.

As well as learning to say no to just not take on more stuff in your life. So another mistake, an issue that people have when they're struggling with burnout is really not having clear boundaries between work and personal life. So that includes reading work emails when you've left work, talking about work constantly with other people, with your partner, and letting work bleed into personal space and relaxation.

So really, it's important to set clear boundaries and give yourself deadlines and time limits for when you can engage in work stuff. Learn to unplug from technology and really have some tech free zones and tech free time. Plan things that are outside of work to really de stress and enjoy and really create more balance.

Mistake number eight is obsessing over issues or future problems and ruminating over them really just is a waste of time because we can't really control the future. We can't foresee everything and obsessing over things and going down rabbit holes for days and days is just really, really draining.

So that's another mistake that people make. They obsess over problems because they think that by obsessing and having anxiety over them, they can create a solution. And that's really not true. So a way to really not do this is to really practice the mind body connection.

And one easy way to do this is to literally tell yourself, there is a body and notice your body. Notice how you're sitting how you're standing, the contact that you might have with your chair or your feet on the floor and feel the weight of gravity. And just notice. And this is really a grounding technique. And what it does is it helps take you away your ruminating and it frees up the brain, it gets you into your body, it breaks the cycle of obsessing. So this is great.

Mindfulness meditation is awesome too, because sitting and meditating is really helpful in creating inner peace. But some people don't want to have to take time to meditate. I have a three N method that's one of my processes where you get distance from your thoughts and feelings. The first step it's really just notice. So simply noticing what your mind is doing gives you some distance, and then you're not obsessing as much. And that we talk about more inside my coaching program over home burnout for good.

Now the ninth mistake that people make is they are on the go, go, go go go go. And they underestimate our need for rest and relaxation and downtime. And so what this does is this often makes us exhausted because we'll burn the candle at both ends. And we're, let's say, working like crazy, doing a bunch of home stuff, helping our children, raising our children, managing our children. And on top of that, maybe we've got like a bustling social life.

And if you're over scheduling yourself, it can be so exhausting, and you just don't have time to rest and recoup. And even in medicine, the culture is always push, push, push, go, go go work, work, work, regardless of how you feel. So I bring that up, because we are conditioned to not take breaks. And we're conditioned to go, go, go. And so when we do this, in general, in our personal life, this really exhausts us, depletes us, and leads to burnout and exhaustion.

So ways to combat this is to first of all, be aware that you do need downtime, and really take some breaks throughout the day, give yourself time and space to do nothing sometimes.

Just be with yourself, be alone sit quietly, read a book, whatever. And you could even do it for five minutes. And you're gonna tell me, I don't have time to do that. But you actually could make five to 10 minutes and just give yourself some breathing space. And so that's in the short term.

And then in the longer term, you can schedule vacations and really have some downtime that way and get more balance in doing that. But just walk away from this episode, being mindful of needing time for rest and relaxation.

And number 10. The 10th mistake that I'm going to mention today in contributing to burnout that people make is not having an idea of their priorities and their values and living life with a lack of intention. Because when we don't live with intention, we are kind of just living life aimlessly. One day might be bleeding into the next and it's just really easy to get lost and you could be unhappy, and then one day bleeding to the other.

And the next thing you know a few years later your life looks the same. So some solutions for this are really taking time to reflect on your values. So pick your top three priorities and values and make a list of those and then really keep those somewhere either on your phone or somewhere where you can see them and really make decisions in line with those values and priorities.

And make sure that you're being intentional with your decisions and your choices and really in alignment with who you are and how you want to be. And if it's out of alignment, don't do it say no, and really think about the choices that you make in your everyday life.

So these are just 10 of the top mistakes that I believe are major contributors with burnout and exhaustion that I discussed today. Definitely take some time to either listen to this episode again or take some notes and put what I talked about today in action.

And if you're really at a point where you're ready to do the work to really heal yourself from the inside out and do the work required to find happiness and peace every day and really ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all.

And this really happens in 90 days or less with my clients, book a call with me to get started PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Apply to work with me and we'll see if we're a good fit to work together. On the call you're gonna get clarity and basically a roadmap to get out of burnout.

You'll walk away with both those things regardless of whether we work together. So thank you so much for tuning in today and I will be back next week.

Episode 72: Stop Feeling Burned Out By Making Your Dreams A Reality

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how a common misconception among people who are dealing with burnout is that they have no control over their lives. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can take control of your life and make the impossible possible. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Burnout often stems from a lack of imagination and vision, causing people to feel stuck and unable to make their dreams a reality.
• Self-doubt is a common obstacle. It's crucial to change your mindset, believe in your capacity to achieve your dreams, and challenge negative thoughts.
• Reflect on past achievements to boost self-confidence.
• Practical strategies to make your dreams come true.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year:

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 72. Hello there. Thank you so much for being here today. Halloween, probably when you're listening to this will have already passed. I hope you had a great time with your children and maybe even dressed up yourself.

I recently attended a Halloween party, it was really interesting, met all kinds of people. And that was fun for me. And now I am preparing to do Halloween with my two little ones.

So today I want to talk about basically making our dreams come true. And I say that because one of the greatest contributors of burnout and exhaustion is really a lack of imagination and a lack of vision. And so many people, they don't think that the things that they want are realistic, and they're busy with the day to day grind, forgetting really about the larger picture and wishing that they could have the things they want or that they can make their dreams come true.

And without being able to feel the possibility of our dreams coming true, this can really leave us feeling trapped and stuck. And that is even more, right, like that resonates with exhaustion and dissatisfaction. A client of mine prior to working with me, she's a doctor and she really wanted to cut down on hospital medicine. She wanted to cut back at work by one day a week. And she really thought that this desire was totally impossible that it was a pipe dream.

However, through working with me, she really realized that what she thought was impossible was actually possible. And through really creating a vision of what she wanted for herself and finding her voice and building her confidence to really tap into that voice because she felt her voice was small for so long and that nobody was listening. Through this work, she made her dreams a reality.

So what she thought was impossible when she started working with me was actually possible and she made all of that happen. And now she has way more free time back she's really able to dedicate some time to herself and she's so much more satisfied at work. Burnout and exhaustion are way back in the rearview mirror for her, they are a thing of the past.

If you too want to ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all, tune into my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and exhaustion for good to get your peace of mind back. The link will be in the show notes.

Now the other thing is one of the biggest mistakes we make is believing that we have no control over our lives or believing that our desires are really unrealistic and cannot become a reality. But the magic of coaching really dispels this and some of my secret sauce is really showing my clients that the impossible is possible. So we're going to talk about unlocking your potential and realizing that you can make your dreams come true. We'll explore how you can transform your life and make the impossible possible today.

And the first step to doing this work is having a change in belief, which is also pretty much like having a mindset shift. We often underestimate the power of our thoughts, but believing that you have the capacity to achieve your dreams and acknowledging that the impossible is just a challenge waiting for you to make it happen. So we can actually cultivate beliefs, like belief in ourselves, belief that our dreams can come true in spite of whatever circumstances we're dealing with.

Now, circumstances basically are just neutral things outside of us. For example, where we live, or our spouse, or our job. So we can make our dreams come true in spite of whatever is existing in our life. And something else we do in doing this is to step into who we are and really owning our own power. Just like my clients do, they start taking baby steps and find their voice to advocate for themselves. And in doing so they start making their dreams come true.

And so this also involves ditching limiting beliefs, which are really beliefs that hold us back. Like beliefs where we're thinking, I can't do this, this is impossible, this is never gonna happen, so and so's never gonna let me do this. And instead, replacing them with power statements or empowering beliefs, which are more like I can do this. I can do anything I put my mind to.

Just step by step, day by day, I'm getting the life that I want for myself, I'm in the process. So if you can think about what your thoughts are and how you can start shifting your beliefs to get yourself started on your dream life, you're going to be well on your way.

Another barrier that really comes up for moms like us, professional moms, is having self doubt. So really being able to overcome self doubt and build the confidence that you need to chase your dreams. Because self doubt will creep in with negative thoughts and simply learning to challenge them, that is how we start to combat these thoughts. So if you are in doubt, think of all of the things you have achieved up until now. So this is how we're crushing self doubt.

Now pause this and make a list of five to 10 dreams that you have made come true in your life. And think about the time when you thought that these dreams, that came true now, there was a time where you thought they were impossible. So for me, this was actually getting into medical school, I really thought that was impossible. And I totally made it happen. And that was really because I decided I was going to do it. And I was not going to let anyone get in my way. And I made that dream a reality. And the power of my mindset is really what got me through before I even knew beliefs and mindset stuff, before I even knew anything about them.

Now take these past experiences, the dreams that you made come true that you once did not think were possible, right? Because that shows you that whatever dreams you think right now are not possible are possible. So use these to fuel your belief in yourself. Soak in that power, feel how powerful it is to really grab your life and create what you want. And you have that ability. You can do it because you are a powerful woman, you're smart, you can really do anything that you put your mind to.

So now take a minute to think of one dream that you want to make a reality, one dream that you want to make come true. Then think of how you would feel once that dream is achieved and begin to step into that feeling, that future self feeling. How would your future self feel? What would she even look like? How would she be dressing? And really just take some time every day to feel that feeling and visualize yourself succeeding in that dream that you would want to make come true.

So visualizing can really help rewire our brains to believe that our dreams are a reality. And then we're taking the action to actually make them happen. But our brain pretty much doesn't really know the difference between what we're telling it and reality. So this is actually really useful in creating the life that we want for ourselves.

So then once you are able to do this visualization, and I suggest doing it every single day, maybe first thing in the morning, that's a fun time to do it. Then decide the next step that you can make, the actual action you can take to move the needle towards that dream. And then you go ahead and you take that action, you could reach out to a friend as an accountability partner or even hire a coach. And there are just so many ways to go about doing this.

So you have to make some practical steps for making these dreams a reality, creating a roadmap. And then by setting clear goals and breaking them down into steps, you're gonna see your dreams happening along with really that belief piece and that feeling of what you would feel like once you achieved it, that you made that dream come true. So actually, I'm going to tell you something brand new and special that I'm offering from now until the end of the year, I cannot believe we basically have November, December and then the year is over.

So I think that this is a really fun way to set up the year of 2024. I myself usually do a year in reflection and I'll plan on delving into that before the year ends. But right now I'm offering a powerful vision breakthrough, so you don't want to be left out of this.

This is really the ultimate transformation to jumpstart your dreams and it is a very brief, tiny way to work with me. It's cheap and it is not that time consuming. It's just like a bite size way to start off 2024 in an amazing way. So if you're ready to finally break free from limiting beliefs, your own limitations, your self doubt, and embrace a life of endless possibilities okay, because the impossible is possible.

My clients, they come to me thinking that so many things that they want, they can't have and through our work together we go from exhaustion to truly their best life. Now the work we do inside my program makes the pipe dreams a reality. So many of my clients have come to me wanting a different role or even to cut back at work. And we make that happen. Even when they think it's impossible.

So for the first time I am offering a sneak peek of the magic of coaching, what so many of my clients have experienced, and you can now do this for just a limited time at a super reduced price and this offer, you're gonna figure out your dreams and that they're closer than you think. You're gonna get thinking outside the box. We're going to tap into your potential. Show you how the impossible can become possible. We're going to create a detailed step by step plan and roadmap to get you to where you want to be.

You're going to have complete clarity on what you want and where you're going. You're going to have a 60 minute one on one coaching call with me, dive deep into your aspirations and challenges. We're going to talk all about you, and I'm going to support you, you're going to have one week of Voxer access to me, stay connected with me get the support you need, send me messages, send me questions, and you're going to receive coaching from me in return.

And you're also going to have immediate access to the first part of my coaching program overcome burnout for good, which phase one, its alignment, and you'll get the vision and other thought work in there. Also, a week after your initial session, you're going to get a follow up call with me where we'll check in on your progress and I can provide additional guidance.

And I'm offering this only for $249. Really, don't let life pass you by, don't have regrets. Start taking action, start making your dreams a reality. And I know this may sound like a stretch but it's totally not. My clients and I are doing this every single day. So I know you can too. Space is limited.

So book this session today. I'm going to put a link in the show notes so you can do this bite sized package with me that's going to have a profound impact to get your 2024 started on an incredible foot. So I want to thank you for tuning in today. There's my new offer, that's limited for now and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 71: Coping With Life's Challenges By Being Human

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how important it is to be kind to oneself as well as the conflict between cultural expectations and human nature. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how to treat yourself with compassion as you would with your children. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The power of being human: We'll discuss the importance of giving ourselves grace and compassion for being human.
• Overcoming Societal Expectations: Dr. Prianca shares personal experiences of growing up in a culture that values external achievements, appearance, and conformity.
• Personal Transformation: How making life choices that align with one's inner values and needs, even if they go against societal norms, can lead to greater freedom, peace, and happiness.
• Permission to Be Imperfect: View life as a journey with natural ups and downs, and understand that mistakes and non-conventional choices are part of being human.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 71. Hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I'm so happy to have you as a busy professional mom listening to this podcast episode. I know time is limited. So I'm grateful to have you here and I'm wishing you a good holiday season as all the holidays are starting to come upon us.

So a little bit about what we do inside my program. A client of mine was actually recently telling me that she got exactly what she wanted in terms of her work schedule and her role, because before working with me, she did not even think that was possible.

She's a physician, she was able to cut back on hospital medicine and actually get more part time work through finding her voice and advocating for herself. And it's just incredible how something that felt like a pipe dream is now a reality and now she's got better work life balance and really feels like she can breathe again.

And I love hearing stories like hers because they really are a testament to the work that we do inside my life coaching program, overcome burnout for good. Because this work, it works. And so if you want to take your life back, get more time be done with mom guilt so that you're totally present for what matters at home, definitely check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcoming burnout and exhaustion once and for all. The link will be in the show notes.

Now today I'm going to talk about something extremely personal and vulnerable in my journey because I know that this is going to be so beneficial for you. So here we go. A major way to cultivate inner peace is really through giving ourselves grace and compassion for being human because that's what we are. We're human beings and human beings, by nature are fallible, To err is to be human. That's a pretty famous quote.

And I really want to dive into this today. Because being human was not a thing when I was growing up. It's actually not a thing, being human, in my line of work as a doctor either. And so I'll elaborate. I'm going to talk about my personal life in the context of the culture in which I grew up, which is South Asian culture. But I'm also very sure that a lot of what I'm going to talk about here today is applicable to other cultures and other upbringings.

So in my culture, external success and perfection are expected. Now obviously perfection doesn't really go with being human. So there's conflict right there. Achievements are extremely important and emphasized along with what aunties and uncles, so basically aunties and uncles are your parents, friends, you call everyone auntie and uncle out of respect.

So aunties and uncles are asking questions of your parents about what you're doing in life, what college you're going to, and all the external stuff, because everyone's comparing, and everyone's competing, and that is so inherent in the culture. Now, personal satisfaction, or effort or the journey or mental well being are not really acknowledged, they're not a thing. And I almost think of it as being expected to be a robot, which obviously, being a robot is also in conflict with being human.

So when you start to understand these expectations, and external things, the emphasis of importance on them, you can start to see how they don't really belong in being human. Like they're just so the opposite, that you can see how there might be some inner conflict or inner dissonance when this is what you're used to.

So going to an Ivy League school, for example, that's expected. And if that expectation isn't met, you're an automatic failure. And I hate to say that I did feel that way going to Wash U in St. Louis, though it was ranked pretty high when I entered starting college. Furthermore, there are only a few professions that are acceptable to choose as your career, doctor, lawyer, get your MBA or graduate degree, marry someone similar, and life will be good. Also going to college is a basic and that's nothing to be proud of. You can be proud once you've met the above expectations and gotten married and had kids. Wrong.

This is very formulaic, and so in the messiness that is life, this in reality does not play out well. The humanity is nowhere in this. Very robotic. So in Indian culture, I'm gonna give you another example. This is fairly common, where are the other points, you'll receive that feedback when you get let's say, a 97%, or 98% on an exam, never good job because you're supposed to be perfect. And this is a very common story. I experienced this myself and I also have heard this from other Indian kids who grew up in this country.

So I'm sure many can relate to this journey, that the effort doesn't matter. It's the finished product you have to produce and that's what some important. So when you're raised that way, imagine what happens when you're not producing, how you feel on the inside. Also, emotions weren't really a thing or acknowledged growing up. And people just kind of move on from whatever it might be, especially a negative emotion.

On top of that, in terms of my career, in the field of medicine, as a doctor, you are not allowed to be human, you're not allowed to make a mistake at all, and you have to be perfect. And if you do make a mistake, you can get sued. And it's a pretty big stressor, headache, and hassle. So this is ridiculous.

And I bring these examples up to show that a lot of this is just not congruent with being human. So for me being human was not a thing, and neither has been giving myself grace. So this is something I've really had to learn and to teach myself, and I'm always working at it. And I, of course, teach my clients to do this, too.

Now, the stories run so deep regarding my success, or my perfectionism, that I really, really struggle when things are not perfect. And this actually goes from really small things like cookie crumbs on the counter to larger things like maybe not making as much money as I could be making at work.

So I do a lot of work on noticing and letting go. And then I teach my clients to do this too, because that is really where we can start embracing being human and letting go of imperfections. And what's funny is, I'm really able to give my kids all kinds of grace for being human, being as they, are loving them unconditionally, applauding them for their efforts, telling them that they're learning and growing from everything, mistakes are no big deal because we are human. And it's totally okay to be imperfect.

So I can do that super easily. And then I try to take that compassion and put it towards myself. So I really want you to take a moment to think about how you see your children, and how gentle you probably are with them. And if you're not gentle, I guess why?

But if you are having a more gentle attitude towards your kids than you have yourself, see if you can transpose some of that attitude towards yourself. Because that is how we start to chip away at our perfectionistic tendencies, our type A tendencies, because those tendencies are really detrimental to our well being. So see if you can take some of that compassion and flip it on to yourself.

So a little bit more about my culture and how I grew up. It really emphasizes the exterior, the external stuff, your weight, for example. This is constantly commented on when I was growing up, you've lost weight, are you dieting, you've put on wait, you look healthy, what happened to your face, I mean, I have a pimple. That's what happened to my face.

Like these questions were a reality growing up, like so much emphasis on what you look like, and the outside. I mean, I look back on this. And I think that's completely crazy. Like I remember dreading seeing certain family members after a long period of time and being nervous that they were going to comment on my weight. But this is the reality, external stuff being valued.

If that happened to you think about how that affects you today. And that effect is so much more profound than we give it credit for, really. I would even take time to pause this podcast episode, and really brainstorm a few things that were external and how emphasized they might have been in your childhood. And once you think about that really take time to think about how that's affecting you today.

So on top of looks, and the external, the other really emphasize thing is your CV or your resume. And that's just important for how you're valued as a person, or even when you're dating. There's something called bio data, which is a really Indian thing where people put on Indian dating websites, their bio, meaning all their achievements.

And that is how, you know, matches are made. How big your house might be, the college that you went to, being a doctor, being a certain kind of profession, having money, being married, staying married, all expectations, and if you aren't perfect in these areas, you're going to feel insufficient. You're gonna feel not good enough, and that feels pretty shitty. And that can be so dark.

And that's why I'm talking about it today. Because I feel like these are the things that nobody talks about. And we have to talk about them. We have to bring them to the surface so that we can start acknowledging them, seeing how they're affecting us, and take action accordingly. So as I get older, I'm starting to realize that the exterior, the external, it really doesn't matter.

What matters is what's going on inside our minds, inside our hearts inside our souls inside the house. What's going on inside your house, that's what really matters, not what other people are seeing or they think it's what you are experiencing moment to moment, day to day, that's what matters because it's your precious life, and you deserve to be peaceful and happy.

So I've made two major changes in my life that are against the grain, they're outside the box, they're definitely not in line with any of the stuff that I mentioned.

One is pursuing my life coaching business. Now, that's not in line at all with what an acceptable South Asian career is. And a divorce, which is also not accepted and super taboo. In fact, it took me about a year after filing for divorce, to even be able to talk about it without feeling tremendous shame. And it's nothing that anyone said to me, it's just the way I was raised, that divorce is not a thing. But I had to do what was right for me and my family.

And the crazy part about this, about the coaching and separating from my spouse, though they were so the opposite of how I was raised, doing these things created so much freedom, peace, and happiness for me. And that kind of a home that I'm creating for my kids too that's so healthy for them. And I know this because I get feedback about my older child, that he's always smiling at school, and he's truly one of the happiest kids.

So my point to you is following the formula, having the good CV, having the success, having this picture perfect life on the outside, that may not and likely is not going to bring you happiness and peace. What will bring you happiness and peace is giving yourself grace to be human, and make the decisions that line up for you. Not what your aunties and uncles think, not what other people think, not what's on social media, not the pictures that you're posting, but really what's going on, on the inside.

So for me, I can conceptualize that my choices are wonderful and healthy for me and my kids in terms of my career and the divorce. But then there is a dissonance inside of me too where I'm living a life way differently from how I was raised. And that's why I'm talking about this today. Because this is really internal stuff that people don't talk about. And I want you to know that whatever struggle you're dealing with, you are not alone.

So of course, this dissonance inside of me, for the decisions that may not be in line with how I was brought up, that is hard, and it's painful, but it's also where being human comes in. And that's why this episode really is about being human and allowing ourselves to be human, allowing ourselves to be imperfect, allowing ourselves to make mistakes, because, and this is where this Brene Brown quote comes in and I think it's so important to think about. What we don't need in the midst of a struggle is shame for being human. So we've got to give ourselves grace, I give myself grace, and I adjust to a life that I didn't think would happen.

Medicine as a profession, for me has been disappointing. I never expected to, have a coaching business for example, I never expected to have a divorce. But here I am, and I am enjoying my life every day, I do feel tremendously fulfilled. And I'm happy. Even though I have veered so far off the course that was set for me at a really young age. So I get to create the life I want inside of myself and externally, regardless of how I was raised, regardless of what other people think. And so do you.

Because this episode really isn't about me, though I'm talking about myself. It's about you. It's about how you relate to what I'm saying. It's about how hopefully what I'm saying today, my story, my vulnerability, my truth can help you feel like you're okay in being human. And you get to make mistakes, and you get to have your journey, and you get to create whatever you want, regardless of how you were raised, regardless of what other people think.

We get to be human. Success and life. They're not linear, there are natural ups and downs. And this is a part of our journey. And this is a part of being human. And it is a journey. It's not a robotic path that we follow. We get to have imperfections. Mistakes, or decisions that we make that are less than ideal, allowing that, not seeing them as a huge problem, but accepting them as a part of our learning and a part of our human journey.

And the sooner we can do this and accept this, the sooner we can try to not be superhuman, and not expect that from ourselves. And therefore when we do that, we can have inner peace, inner calm, say goodbye to inner restlessness. So I'm telling this very personal tale here today because I wanted to give you the strength and the permission to do what aligns for you, regardless of how you were raised, regardless of what other people think.

Your parents are not the end all be all for what's right. They're human and have made their mistakes also, and in South Asian culture, parents are really revered and their word is the end all be all, or God's Word, or you know, whatever, it's in that light.

So of course, it can be very hard to see outside of that and see them as human. So just really give some thought to that as well. Whatever your desire might be, especially if it's outside of the box, you conform to, I want you to think about it. Aligning your life with what is right and peaceful for you is a key component of peace and happiness.

So now we're gonna do an exercise. Think of one thing in your life you'd like to do, but you're afraid of what other people would think. Now think about how little people actually perseverate on what's going on with you. Because they're way too caught up in their own stuff. And keeping that in mind. Use that as fuel to brainstorm how you can actually do the scary, outside of the box, outside of the perfect path thing, and find some peace and joy.

And when you're all freaked out about doing something that's not your cultural norm, do the following things. One: know you aren't perfect. Inherently. Two: mistakes and imperfections are going to happen all the time. So remember that.

Three: work on accepting that and letting shit go. Four: start to see life as a process and journey, not a formulaic robotic thing. Five: acknowledge and know that there are ups and downs, neither of which will last forever. So when stuff gets tough, remember, this too shall pass.

Six: Take a breath, slow down, and just be. Be with wherever you are, literally by breathing, focus on your breath, and count your breaths to 10 and then start again. So count the inhale, you count one, exhale, two up to 10 and repeat.

So try these things that I've talked about today. And I know you will see your life start to shift to more inner peace, more calm, because that's all we want. We want to feel peace. We want to feel happiness. We don't want to deal with overwhelm, exhaustion, and burnout.

And really taking some time to think about these things and shift how we think and do things, that is the currency for the good life, the life that we've expected to have. Your well being, it's not a luxury, it's a necessity. So take a step towards a brighter, healthier future and apply to work with me. My program offers personalized guidance, community, and life changing tools. Book a call PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. You'll get clarity on your roadblocks and walk away with your burnout free roadmap. Thank you so much for tuning in this week, and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 70: Life Coaching vs. Therapy in Ending Burnout for Good

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the distinction between life coaching and therapy and how each approach can benefit your life. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about which approach best fits your needs and evidence of the support life coaching can bring. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Understanding Therapy and Life Coaching: Gain a clear understanding of the differences between therapy and life coaching
• Benefits of Therapy and Life Coaching: Learn the unique benefits of each approach
• Evidence-Based Insights: Discover the positive impact of coaching on physicians through studies and clinical trials, particularly in addressing burnout and enhancing well-being.
• Choosing the Right Path: Guidance on how to make an informed decision when selecting between therapy and life coaching, based on individual needs and goals.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 70. Well hello there, I am so happy to have you here listening this podcast today. It is the month of Halloween so I hope you are enjoying it with your children. And I want to talk a little bit about what we do inside my program overcome burnout for good.

Clients are having wins every single day, really being able to cultivate peace of mind and not go down the rabbit hole anymore, ditch overwhelm, ditch mom guilt and truly get their lives back. And if you want to learn more about this, check out my free masterclass on overcoming burnout, ditching overwhelm, and getting your peace of mind back, the link will be in the show notes.

Today I want to talk about the concept of life coaching versus therapy because some of you may not be that familiar with coaching. And I will be very frank here and say that when I first started getting into coaching, I thought it was a little hokey. I actually, in the very, very beginning, as I was getting my certification, I was a little bit embarrassed because it's not an MD like one of the degrees I have, right. And I also have a master's in neuroscience. So it's nowhere to the degree of that, a life coaching certification.

But what I learned is that life coaching truly has been a way for me to get results in my life that are way faster than anything in therapy. And that's why I really want to talk about defining and explaining therapy versus live coaching, and then you can see what you think might be a better fit for you, if at all.

So let's talk about therapy first. It's basically a service that is offered by trained therapists, often you're gonna have MSWs, meaning people with their social work degrees, or you might have somebody who had their certification in counseling, you can get your degree in counseling, also, you can have your PhD in psychology, and they also go through exams and practical exams in preparation for their work. That is their training.

And they will use things like cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, or psychotherapy. And really, a lot of the work that's done in therapy is exploring thoughts, feelings, but often it's truly delving into the past. So what are your patterns and deeper than that, though, is how did your childhood affect where you are today?

And it's kind of funny, because in my culture, Indian culture, it's not okay to blame your childhood for anything. It's a very American concept. But of course, as we can acknowledge our childhoods really did shape who we became. And at some point, you get to pave your own way, which is more where the coaching comes in.

But basically, therapy often dives into how our parents may have affected us or certain events created trauma in our lives, and maybe challenges. And it's not so much about problem solving, but it's really to gain a better understanding of how you got here. So where did I come from? How did I get here?

And I think therapy is especially useful if you have a major challenging event. And that way you can figure out what brought you there, what is it in your past? What makes you tick, the way you tick? What were you told repeatedly as a child growing up? And so on and so forth, to really understand the context of all of your past stuff to figure out how that plays a role in today.

Now, I'm going to shift to coaching a bit. Coaching is more about the now and the future. So in my program, we get a little bit into the stories and patterns that we have that are not serving us and learn to drop those stories.

But essentially, coaching is thinking about where's my life right now? Where do I want it to go? And what is the roadmap to get me from where I am today to where I want to be six months from now? And so coaches really act as guides and given that the life coaching industry is growing, people really tend to have their own processes that they move through, and they take their clients through to have the specific result and that often comes from personal life experience.

And so for me, I use my experience in my life and all of the things that it taught me and that's how I created my coaching program overcome burnout for good, in which I've got five modules, plus bonuses, where I walk my clients through a specific process and specific tools and strategies, really streamlined strategies that are the fastest way to cultivate peace of mind and really be out of burnout once and for all.

And so why I'm so passionate about coaching is I have found that in the darkest times of my life or the most challenging or when I might feel overwhelmed, what I have learned in coaching and through my own processes, it really helps to pull me out of that place so much faster than 10s of 1000s of dollars and years of therapy ever did. So it's really, you have these efficient, streamlined ways to get you what you want in your life.

And for most of my clients that's truly ditching the mom guilt, finding peace of mind, being able to be present at home with their families, leaving work at work, enjoying the lives that they've worked so hard to build. And so really having those results with a very specific way to get there.

And what's really interesting about both forms of these mental health fields is that 10 years ago, even five years ago, people would never admit to going to a therapist, and yet I find now in conversations with many of my friends, they will very nonchalantly say yeah, my therapist said this or that. And it's much more accepted now to have a therapist, which is great. And so life coaching is a little bit newer, and I hope and believe that five to 10 years from now everyone will have a life coach. And they'll be talking about what their life coach said, which is awesome.

So if you feel like you really want to figure out how you got here, I think therapy is the best route to do that. But if you more really have a place where you want to go and you're having trouble getting there, as in a happier life, having more peace of mind, then coaching is the way because it's much more goals oriented.

You will learn how to deal with your thoughts and feelings and emotions and really be able to be present with even the negative feelings without them ruining your day to day life. And on top of that you take action to make things in your life happen. And I find that coaching really suits high achieving women and moms because we like the most efficient way to do things and coaching most certainly is that.

Now I'm gonna dive into how coaching is helpful and a great benefit for physicians because physician burnout is such a pervasive issue in this country. And physicians really show symptoms of burnout at double the rate of other careers, right, and so this is going to be worse for patients, worse for physicians, and coaching really helps combat that.

Actually a study in JAMA published in 2019 by the leading experts in physician wellness, they showed that coaching physicians improves overall quality of life. And actually the study examined the effect of six professional coaching sessions for 88 practicing physicians. And what they found was emotional exhaustion was decreased by around 20% in only five months.

Another study published in the Permanente Journal looked at the effectiveness of coaching in physician burnout. And what they found was that coaching interventions actually reduced burnout among physicians and through coaching, the physicians were able to manage their stress, improve work life balance, and really use coping strategies. So this, of course, led to more job satisfaction and improved patient care.

So we have here, right, like I've talked about studies that show the efficacy of coaching. So hopefully that shows you how great and beneficial life coaching is for all professionals, not just physicians. And my goal today was to really educate you on what life coaching is and what the benefits are. Because it's not so much out there as we understand, we're much more familiar with therapy.

So definitely think about what your goals are, where you are, where you want to be, or do you want to dive into your past to figure out if therapy or coaching is a better fit for you. But what I will also say is sometimes if you do both in conjunction with each other, they're very complementary because you can figure out with therapy really delve in your past, and that helps figure out the now, and of course the future, which is more coaching.

So if you want to get clarity on what's getting in your way or you want to end burnout for good once and for all get your life back book a call with me. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. The link will be in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 69: Find Balance as a Mom with a Demanding Career with Dr. Bonnie Koo

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she and her special guest Dr. Bonnie Koo discuss various topics ranging from how important it is to take care of your mental health to how doing so creates a positive model of behavior for your kids. Dr. Naik and Dr. Koo invite you to learn about investing time into yourself in order to build a life you don't need a vacation from.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Take time for yourself: This gives you time, space, and a breather to get clarity in what you want to do with your life.
• Get coached: Dr. Bonnie emphasizes the importance of seeking coaching, therapy, or other forms of support for your mental and emotional health. Coaching can help you understand how your thoughts create your feelings and how to navigate life's challenges.
• Take Solo Trips: Taking solo trips or spending time alone can be rejuvenating. Whether it's a weekend getaway or a spa resort experience, dedicating time to yourself allows for reflection and self-discovery. Start with a dinner if that's too daunting.
• Focus on Emotional Regulation: Dr. Bonnie also highlights the significance of focusing on emotional regulation, especially for parents. Teaching children how to handle their emotions and modeling healthy emotional regulation is vital for their growth.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

Follow Dr. Bonnie Koo on social media:

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/wealthymommd or @wealthymommd

Facebook:

https://facebook.com/wealthymommd

Website:

https://wealthymommd.com

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 69. Today I am so excited to have a special guest coming to us on this podcast, Dr. Bonnie Koo. She is a master certified life coach, physician, and founder of Wealthy Mom, MD.

She's a money coach for women physicians, and a proud graduate of Barnard College and Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons. She is the host of the WealthyMomMD podcast and author of Defining Wealth for Women: Peace, Purpose, and Plenty of Cash. She currently resides in northern jersey with her family. So let's get to it and dive in.

All right, I am so excited today because I have a very, very special guest. Her name is Dr. Bonnie Koo. She was actually a coach of mine, and I'm thrilled to have her here. She's been doing amazing things and really thinking outside the box, which is what I want to dive into today. So welcome, Bonnie. Hey, there. Thanks so much for having me. Yeah, it's great to have you on. So I wanted to ask you, I know you're a dermatologist by trade, what really led you to becoming a coach?

Yeah. So I'm just laughing because like, it was not what I was expecting. I think that's the story for a lot of us. It's not like we were like, let's go to medical school or whatever career and then let's just change your mind a few years into it, right? Like, I don't think any of us had that goal. And so, I mean, the short story is that I was learning about money just for myself, because I realized I had no idea what I was doing. And then I was in a Facebook group of other physicians and it was for money, specifically. Just a community group where people were helping each other out.

And then I noticed that I was answering all the questions, and then people started tagging me, this was just fun for me. And then someone was like, why don't you start a blog? And so I did. And then it just went on from there. And then I just started getting asked to speak. And then I started working with a coach because to me, this was just a hobby. And then eventually, I got to the point where I had to either let it go, because I just had my son who's now six or make it a business, although there's obviously a lot of options in between, but those were the two options in my head.

And then at some point, I just decided, it wasn't like there was a specific reason if I'm perfectly honest, I was like, why not? The worst that can happen is that it fails and I'm still a doctor. Yeah, being a physician is not a bad fallback career, I suppose. I'm sure people are thinking that. Okay. So the personal development is the hobby, right? Which leads you to something that you're really enjoying, and then you make a decision to monetize it.

So what I think is really remarkable here, and why I really wanted to have you on the podcast is what gave you the courage to step out of that box, because there is pretty much, with or without people acknowledging it, there is kind of a box that physicians are put into or whatever box you might be in, in your culture, and just having the guts to step outside of that not really knowing what comes next.

Yeah, that's a great question. I think for me, I started meeting other people doing similar things. And so there's a conference called fincon, it's like in the fall of every year, it's probably like, happening this week or last week. And it's where all the people in the finance media world come together. And so I started to just meet other people who are doing this, including other doctors, there were a few other doctors. So I think just having that community, it was small, but just other people doing it. So like, I wasn't the only like weird and crazy person doing this. I think that was helpful.

And then honestly, working with a coach, like she helped me navigate the decision. And then once I decided to do a business, she helped me figure out what I could or couldn't do. And she also pointed out some things that maybe I wasn't thinking of, she's like, you have basically been building an audience for the past two years, not like on purpose, but just because I've been just helping people. And so she was like, you're in the perfect position to monetize it, if you want. And then I was like, okay. So it's interesting.

And then I took all these courses on how to learn how to run a business, because I didn't have any business skills. And so why would I Google it myself? I feel like a lot of people do this. I'm like, why would I Google it like people already know how to do this. I'm just gonna learn from them. I don't know if I'd describe it as courage. I think again, it's like being surrounded by these people. So it was almost like normalized that you can do this.

But what's really fascinating in life in general, is that a lot of us think that, especially physicians, you go to college, you go to med school, you pick a speciality, you go into residency, maybe fellowship, and then you work and then it's going to be a steady income, and all the steps are there.

So it feels so certain, even though you do have to pass the boards and do a lot of steps along the way. So it isn't actually certain but this false sense of certainty that we have in our careers, as opposed to being an entrepreneur, which just by nature is much more shaky, and it's more obvious that step A is the opposite of certainty. Exactly right.

So it's a lot of trial and error or failing forward or any of those concepts. So that is why I bring up the courage piece. Where of course, stepping into the unknown pretty much we're doing that all the time. We have no control over what the future holds.

Right, but at the same time doing something that's so different from what you're used to, or what you've been taught, or what you thought your life was going to be, and really just going for it, I think is really inspiring for people like, and that's why I say courage because for many people staying in the status quo, no matter how boring or dissatisfying or even malignant and might be, they'll stay there because they're terrified of the change. So yeah, can you relate to any of that, or can you elaborate on?

Yeah, well, here's a few things that I didn't mention. So two things is I had a different career before medical school, I was a non traditional student, I worked at Morgan Stanley, not in finance, but I worked in IT. And so I didn't have this like identity of just being a student. So I think that's part of it. The second thing is right after college, I did some pretty intense personal development work. And so I say that because I think I was already sort of more open minded that things can change, and that people do this, if that makes sense. Like, I'd forgotten about it. And I feel like I regressed during medical training.

But I think that's also why when I started working with my first coach, it was just really clear to me like, oh, yeah, remember this work, and just how fun it is to always be growing. Because I think what happens is, whatever career you choose, you become stagnant at some point, right? Because like in med school, it's like, we're learning all these new things, and you have residency, you're learning all these new things. And the first year or two of being attending is also exciting, right? And I feel like a lot of doctors get bored after like, three to five years, sometimes earlier.

Well, there's nowhere to go. The beauty of medicine is it is a steady job. People will always need doctors. But at the same time, there's not that much upward growth, like you're a doctor and you're doing the same thing more or less, unless let's say you're managing your practice, and maybe you work less, or maybe you become an entrepreneur on the side, but just straight being a doctor, you're going to do the same thing in your 10th year that you're doing in your first or second year. And that, I agree, like you kind of just hit like a plateau there and you aren't really growing in your career, per se.

Yeah. And I think that's when a lot of people get. They talk about the seven year itch and marriage, but I feel like it's more like a three to five year itch in medicine. I think people look around and are like, oh, is this it? Because I think we all thought like once we became attendings that we would live happily ever after, basically. And then we learned that's not a thing, and then we're really disappointed.

Correct. And then the beauty is you have the steady income. And sometimes you can, well that's the work that you do, which feel free to talk about that. Like so, you have the money. And then what do you do with it? You have the luxury of maybe making your money work for you?

Yeah, I mean, so I coach people on money. But what I realized after doing this for some time is it's not just about the money because you can have all the money in the world. But if you're an unhappy person, it doesn't matter. Right, you can take nicer vacations and eat at Michelin star restaurants, I guess, right?

So I really try to teach my clients money is a tool to help you do things, it is very useful, obviously. But also money is not going to make you happy. And because we all know that technically, but we really think we'll be happier with money, like certain things are possible. And certain things are more fun.

Like I love traveling first class, like I definitely am happier while flying first class, right? Like, there's no doubt about that. But those experiences alone aren't going to make my life rich and fulfilled. So I really try to help my clients do a little bit of both. And that's mainly from like the coaching because once you get coached on one area of your life, it kind of filters into other areas of your life.

I was laughing about the first class business class flying, laughing silently, but what that brought up for me was that those kinds of experiences are transient. Right? So money might buy you that but that comes and it goes but a lack of money, I think also can create a lot of stress that will make you unhappy.

Yeah. Well, so I don't know exactly who your listeners are. Are they mostly physicians or high income women?

It's pretty much career driven, high achieving, working moms.

I mean, pretty much everyone listening is not going to struggle with basic needs that money provides, right. And so I'm sure you've heard of a study that over a certain amount of money adjusted for where you live doesn't increase happiness, right? Obviously, if you don't have money to buy food, being able to buy food is definitely going to increase. It's not even happiness. It's like, just be not worrying about those primal things you need to live right. But yeah, after a certain amount of money, like it doesn't do as much as we think except for flying first class.

And the fancy meals, which by the way, I feel like the fancy meals that are curated and they look beautiful on the plate. I always leave those places hungry, wanting a piece of pizza. Like if you've ever been to 11 Madison Park, or you know they do these, well, that's a bajillion courses. But if you go do like a lesser version of that, like three courses, of like bite sized food, and then I'm leaving craving more, having spent how much money.

It's funny. I just went to France a few months ago, Paris specifically and I don't think I enjoy fancy food as much as I used to. To me it was like it's about the food. It's also the experience and I'm not sure if I enjoyed it. Maybe I'm just getting older and I'm just not used to going out as much as I used to. But basically what I'm saying is I don't need to go to a fancy two or three Michelin star restaurant, they tend to be kind of stuffy anyway, you know. And I feel like you know, a bit more of a modern hip restaurant is more my style now.

I agree. During COVID, when I didn't go to restaurants, after people started emerging, I remember being really appreciative of service. But now I'm at a point where I think most of like the fancy meals, it's the same thing like every single time. So it does start to lose its novelty. And then you're kind of just looking for the quality of food, rather than the fanfare of it all. So something I wanted to also ask you is, what do you think would be useful for the exhausted burnt out professional moms, in terms of if they're on the precipice of making a change? What advice would you give them?

Wow, there's so much. Well, I think the first thing is to take care of yourself, right? Because all those things you described is mostly a result of just not prioritizing themselves. So I think there's a lot of work in that, right. And women, we're basically socialized to be caretakers. And even if you don't have kids, that extends to just the people around you, maybe your parents, etc, right?

Maybe in your culture, too. But in my culture, or a lot of other cultures, like you want to have a daughter because a daughter takes care of you, the sons don't. Right, have you heard that before?

Yes, of course, in general, cultures, letting men walk away scot free from so many things that they could actually be contributing to including caring for your parents. Right?

Yeah. So I think there's a lot of that. And I think it's even way more exacerbated if you're a parent, because you're just giving so much to your kids. And that has a toll on you. Because then I see a lot of women, they feel like they don't even know who they are anymore. Because they've just been giving, giving, giving. And then obviously, depending on your work circumstances, and whether you've gone through a divorce, there's obviously a lot of things that can cause stress. And so I would say number one is really take care of yourself.

I actually taught a lot of my clients be willing to go part time and work less. But of course, they're always like, Well, what about money, right? They don't want to make less money. I was like, listen, money circumstances are temporary. And part of me is like, you might need to go part time or even take a sabbatical in order to a) recoup.

And then what if that's necessary to actually make more money? That's something people don't consider, because they're so focused on like, well, if I work part time, that means I make less money. In the short term, yes. But then the thing is, you don't have headspace to think about things or be creative, or to even think about having a side gig when you're burned at both ends, you know?

Absolutely. So I'm really intrigued by that. I love that concept that you're mentioning, what's the strategy behind that? Like, how do you coach your clients who you're saying, hey, maybe go part time, maybe take a sabbatical? What does that look like in reality? And how are you helping women to actually do this? Because that sounds really scary. And I'm sure many women are listening to this thinking, yeah, that's great and everything, but no, thanks. You know, they're all freaked out.

Yeah. So part of it is looking at their money to see what's going on. The thing is, most of my clients aren't going to go broke. Like when I say go broke, like, they're not going to not be able to feed their kids or their family if they take some time off. Most of them will just go part. I mean, it's all different. To be honest, the thing is, even when you're doing a sabbatical, there are so many options to make money. Like you can just do like a per diem or locums. Right, I think you do something like that.

So it's not like you turn the money faucet completely off. But it's like, how can we create more space and time and for some people, it's like literally just working one less day a week at their current job or, again, as physicians, there are a lot of options, expert witness work, etc. So it's not like you have to completely turn off the money income, but then it's also getting their money in order. Because the goal is to be in a position where if your job income stops, there shouldn't be a catastrophe in a month or two, right?

Yes, exactly. It's more, I think, just the idea of slowing down the incoming and what am I doing about the outgoing, that people just kind of freeze and have a fight or flight moment during that conversation.

I think they also have to realize that what they're doing now is completely unsustainable. If you think about the decrease in income being temporary, you could think of that as like the investment in yourself to get better, and to build a life where you're not going to need a vacation from right.

Yeah, we need time and space to actually create and have thoughts flow. Because when you are in the day in and day out, day to day grind, you're just surviving. So there's very little room to actually transform or grow during that time. What else besides the part time work would you add to your advice for busy exhausted mothers?

Well obviously getting coached. And I'm not just saying that as a coach, but also as a client. Like I don't know if you're getting coached actively right now, Prianca, but like people always. Actually I was just doing a call with someone and they were like, surprised that I was still getting coached on stuff.

What I've learned from that is, I think people think, whether it's for themselves or looking at other coaches, that we get to a point where our brains are just beautiful inside and like there's no negative thoughts and like, I can handle anything and that kind of thing, unfortunately, yeah, we're human.

Yeah, we're still human. Like, I'm working with a parenting coach now and like. Oh, that's cool. I would say parenting it's like the hardest job in the world right?

And the most important too. I feel like most people feel like for me, my job as a mom is the number one job even though I spend a lot of time with my career and other things but it's top of mind.

Yeah. And then also what I realized is like I think every parent absolutely needs a parent coach. And part of being the best parent that you want to be is like working on yourself. And so that's why I also think coaching is, every parent coach does it differently. Mine coaches me and then also helps with some tips and tricks, but a lot of it's just coaching me and I'm like, freaked out, Jack's gonna get kicked out of school, like, you know, our brains just go to worst case scenario, he's gonna get kicked out of school, and then wanting to fix it right away. And so she has to coach me to calm my brain on that topic.

But yeah, I think getting coached is so important because understanding that our thoughts create our feelings, it's just life changing. But there's more than just, as you know, like, the way I'm trained is like really just working on your thoughts and how they downstream to feelings. But as you probably know, there's like other things at play that aren't just related to thoughts.

So like, I just feel like there's so much support that's available for your mental and emotional health that I think a lot of us neglect, because everyone kind of knows, like, oh, yeah, you should work out and go to the gym, because you'll feel better. And it's good for your health, right. But our mental health is just not prioritized at all, as you know. So I think that's really, really important is to prioritize your mental health. And there's so many ways to do that. Whether psychiatrists, therapists, coaching all the above.

I mean, I have a personal therapist, I'm in group therapy, and I have a coach. So I very much believe in taking care of myself first. Because that's always how we get to show up as the best versions of ourselves for them, and also setting an example for them, hopefully, so that they grow up caring for their own mental health as adults.

Oh, that's such a good point. I don't think I really thought about that. Here's another thing, right? And I didn't mean to make this into a parenting thing. But this applies whether you're not parent is if you think about it, our generation, although I think you're a lot younger than me Prianca.

I'm not that much younger than you. I think I'm like a couple years younger than you. Yeah.

You just look so young. But you know, we were raised not being taught anything about how to handle our emotions. And if anything, especially cultural is like, don't show emotion, like, be stoic. And then if you're highly educated, it's just like pushing on through school and getting whatever you have to done. And then if you're a doctor, it's worse as well through residency.

So I think we have to learn that skill ourselves and learning it ourselves. Everything we do, our kids are watching us, it's modeled for them, right? And so if you grew up in a family just yelled and punished, and grounded you all the time. It's so funny, because no one's gonna say like, well, how a parent I'm gonna do the same thing for my kids. But as you know, like you end up parenting like your parents. It's kind of insane kind of a mind f, if you think about it.

Well, it comes really naturally. My experience is, I think about the way I was parented, and then I think about. It's in a book, How to Raise Successful People, which I may have recommended to you by Esther Wojcicki but she talks about really going through everything, how you were raised, and thinking about what you want to propagate forward and what you want to eliminate.

I don't know if I want to propagate any of it.

Okay, so for me, a lot of it. I'm like, okay, I'm not like my parents at all. But then what I find is in an academic setting, or like, when I start seeing my son, if he's doing well in school, then I'm kind of like, Alright, I have to help foster this, but not in the same way that my parents did, in a gentle kind way. But I can feel that it's all stirring up the old stuff where I was trying to do the best I could in school, and then I'm thinking alright, yeah, let him do the best he can do but without the punishment, and without tying in any his self worth to that and having like, a way bigger distance from all that.

Well yeah, we definitely were raised in the punishment is how you get people to comply and I mean, it is effective, but it also totally squashes self esteem. Anyway, that's what I'm learning how to navigate. And it's been fascinating for me, and also just showing me like all the areas that I still have work to do, you know?

Yeah, well, we're all constantly growing and changing and doing the best we can. And I really believe that our generation, we are doing better than our parents did. And hopefully our kids will do even better.

I think so. Yeah, yeah. Although, I bet our kids are gonna say the same thing about us.

Well, I'm wondering if it's gonna be because even social media and all the info that's out there, it's very much we're trying to foster these independent people. And we ask them all these questions, and we're much more into mental health, but I wonder if the complaints gonna be the other way. Like, why couldn't my mom just be normal? And why did she have to ask me like how I felt about this? Like it was too psychological?

Interesting, but everything comes down to feelings, like truly.

Well, yes. So today, I was talking to coaches in my mastermind. And I was saying that really the work that pretty much we all do is helping people to sit in the discomfort because once you learn to actually sit with it, that's the currency for the good life because it's being able to be present with your anxiety sometimes, or whatever negative emotions and getting a little bit distance from them, be it through the model or other methods, but really not being one with our thoughts and our feelings. 24/7 Because that's where the torture lies.

I know and little kids, they can't understand like, why can't I have something that I want? Or why do I have to do things I don't want to do. Like brushing his teeth it's like a battle. Like, well I don't want to brush my teeth? None of them do. They don't. Yeah. And he's like, so why should I like I don't want to so therefore I shouldn't.

If I'm really honest here, one of my least favorite things with my kids is the ADLs like, I dread the morning brush teeth and the evening like brush your teeth before bed. And it really depends on how tired I am at night. But especially my two year old, she won't let me brush her teeth. And then I just let her do like very subpar job. And I'm like, alright, it's over.

I mean, which kid actually does the full two minutes? I mean, I don't think anyone does. I do 30 seconds. I'm like, You know what, 30 seconds is good enough?

Yeah I don't know. They hate brushing their teeth. I don't know. And they can't understand that is an automatic and a non negotiable of life. It's just one of the things that we don't need to get into the reason with them, but they hate it.

It boggles my mind. I'm like, doesn't he like. But like, wake up and you've got that, like morning mouth thing going on? I'm like, how is he not bothered by that? But kids just don't seem to be.

They don't care. I know. I hear you. Anyway. Yeah, those chores are tough. I will say though I have an au pair now. She often does the morning brush teeth. And they actually let her help and whatnot, like more than they will me. So yeah, my life has become infinitely better with that. Extra set of hands with her. So I highly recommend that if you have the space for it. It will take that stuff off your plate.

Yeah, I mean, we just have one. We both work from home. So we haven't needed one. But I wouldn't hesitate to hire one if I had multiple kids and had a schedule that made it hard to handle it myself.

Any other advice for exhausted professional moms?

So even if you can't, like I talked about go part, time take a sabbatical. Like you could take a little trip and go to a spa resort by yourself. I'm glad you asked this again. Because when I tell people that I take solo trips, they're shocked. A lot of women are shocked whether they have kids or not. Right. They're just like what, you can do that? And so I travel a decent amount for work. I go to a lot of conferences, but for my birthday this year, I went to Maribel for two nights by myself.

I remember when I told Matt he was like, what? You're not going to hang out with the family? I'm like no. Maribel is an all inclusive spa resort. I love it. I've been there many times. It's amazing what just even a weekend away will be so like nourishing and for anyone listening Maribel, there's three locations, Austin, Berkshire's, which is Massachusetts and Arizona, just two hours south of Phoenix. They are amazing resorts. It's all about wellness and prioritizing and mindfulness. Have you been to one?

I have. I enjoyed it. I also went by myself. My only thing was I felt like I was hungry there. They're too healthy. And I know it's all about wellness. They do the food health, you know, the healthful eating, you know.

You can always get more food, right?

I know but it's all, it's too healthy for me, like I need a steak or a burger like.

Oh, you should have done cook for me. Do you do that? That's good.

I did do that one of the nights. Yes. And that was good. But yeah, that was my only qualm with that place. Yeah.

So yeah, I think that's a great place or just like taking a trip with your girlfriends. I think, again, so easy to just stop doing that because you get into this routine. So I think even that, like I require a decent amount of time for myself. And now it's like normal, I don't feel like, although lately I have been trying to minimize travel a bit more just because Jack started kindergarten and I want to be available for him because we sent him to a Waldorf school.

I saw your post on social media about a more nature immersed school, and I thought, wow, that's awesome.

He's on a farm. And he is gardening and feeding animals, like they're outside, even when it's wet outside. So I had to buy him all this special gear. There's zero academics in their kindergarten. Because their whole philosophy is that developmentally like it's easier to learn when they're a little older. So they actually read a lot later than mainstream school. And so my friends warned me that they won't be reading until second or third grade, even.

They really focus on social and emotional development. And so it just was in line with all the things that I've been learning myself, right, just like really focusing on emotional regulation. Because if you think about it, those skills are way more important than your academics.

It's so true with my children, too. I always think like, well, what is the endgame in this? Like, whatever it is. It's not straight A's. Right, that's for sure. And also people get really crazy about sports and teams and this and that. And I'm like, alright, well are you gonna become a professional athlete? If not, like we don't have to be so crazy about this. Like, it's okay. They learn to be on a team. To me, it's more of a social, like you're talking about skill building.

I don't understand. Like I remember even before Jack was born, just like seeing that this was a thing. And I was so confused, because that's not how it was when we grew up, like our activity was just roaming around the neighborhood on our bikes and our parents not knowing where we were, you know those were our activities.

And so I actually, because he is on a farm all day, like they're literally being physically active. Like, I don't feel the need to do it. And also, they actually said that it's actually not great for them at this age, I forget, but that was enough for me to be like see, they told me not to do it, I'm not gonna do it.

Yeah, I think that's amazing. One thing I will say is my son's kindergarten teacher was saying that she teaches the kids a song about boundaries. And I said, oh, my, I was freaking out. I said, Oh my god, that's amazing. I said, can you imagine if we had learned that at a young age, boundaries like I didn't know what that was until.

They just learned about the personal bubble, the space bubble. Learning that like yeah, there's like everyone has a bubble and you have to ask for consent. And Jack that's his challenging area because he doesn't understand that and because he's so sweet and loving. If he met you like he would just like hug you but he's very strong. So it's almost like he's tackling you. So he doesn't quite understand that not everyone likes to get hugged. I'm like, listen, I know some people are weird. They don't want hugs. So you always have to ask, he still doesn't ask he just will embrace you.

Aw he has to regulate his kindness. Aw. I love that. So I love this concept of take some time and go on a trip alone. I think people are really afraid to do it.

Start with, it doesn't have to be even a night like I think baby steps, right? Because if you're married with kids, I know we're focused, because I'm sure not everyone listening has kids. Like, I have met women who are married with kids who literally never been away from their kids, even one night and their kids are older. I know your eyes are just wide.

I don't even know how that's possible. That's really intense.

So many people, they don't even go out to dinner without their kids.

It's too much. Start with a dinner. Let's just say that, start with a dinner alone. And actually, you never know if you let's say you sit at the bar and you eat dinner, you can meet people around you and you make new friends or just the possibilities are endless with that. What I was going to say about the alone time, I recently realized because I would take my kids on trips, and I took a few days to just reset by myself. And it was so magical that I only had to care for myself.

That was the whole thing that I didn't have to worry about. All right, the brushing teeth or the breakfast. All their needs, which we care for all the time. It's so automatic that one day even to just only think about yourself and be quiet. I like the friends trip idea. But I also think the time when you're not talking to other people and feeling like you have to be entertaining, or engage or listen or any of those.

That's why I like Mirabel solo. Because you don't have to talk to anyone. And it's fine, because a lot of them are there by themselves. Some people go with their girlfriends, but like no one's expecting you to like engage.

And it's in that solitude and the quietness that you can get your best ideas or just restore or you're not giving to anyone except yourself.

And I think that's so fascinating that so many women, that concept of oh, let me just give to myself, and no one else, is so shocking for them. It's a world that they don't know. So yeah, start with that. Even if you can do, like I have a goal of doing it one 24 hour shift a month alone, like that is my goal.

That's amazing. I don't think I have, well, when I went to Paris for 10 Nights. Yeah, I didn't bring my family. I didn't mean for it to be that long. But you know, my business class tickets were already booked. So I couldn't change them. Probably not entirely true.

That's so funny. Yeah. So I have that as a goal. In addition to I think with friends, it's always good to have like a yearly trip you do with a certain group, let's say for doctors or med school friends, or college friends, or whatever other group you have, and just make it an annual thing. And that way, it's already there. Because if you just let these things go years go by.

I know time goes so fast. And it's also like I only have one I can't imagine what it's like with more than one little one. But I think lately I've been trying to pick resorts to have a kids club of some sort.

So we can just park them there for even a few hours is helpful. Or I bring my mom sometimes. Yeah, although she needs a break too. Well, that's not your job, though. But yeah, I mean, I think that's another thing, it's like, don't feel bad about having support. Because I think also we think do everything ourselves. Right.

So like hiring the au pair, or just hiring a part time babysitter or like, don't clean your house, someone else could do that. Like there's so many things you can outsource and they don't cost as much as people think. Like a lot of women I meet don't like to cook, I'm like you can hire a personal chef or get meal, like there's so many services now that do that. Even if you did it a few times a week, that would be helpful.

Absolutely, or just really taking inventory of the things that bring you joy and don't and then start outsourcing the ones that you don't enjoy. Like if you don't find cooking therapeutic, some people do, but if it's not a therapy session for you, and you find it tiring, you don't want to clean up. For me all the prep, the cooking the cleaning afterwards, like that's a big chore for me. So I'd rather have someone help.

I don't do that Matt does it and then he just leaves stuff everywhere. And I was like, listen, you do the laundry. He loves doing laundry. Like you do the laundry, I sometimes cook, I take care of all things Jack, and then you have to deal with dishes and the garbage. Like it's a great division of labor that we have, you know.

I clean up sometimes but it's just putting stuff in the dishwasher. It's not like it's hard, you know? No, it's not.

No, I was gonna say and also he can manage Jack when you take your solo trips.

Yes, I think that might be harder. So that's something we have to navigate because his school is kind of far right now. And so it's a lot of driving. And so I think this fall, I've kind of minimized although I already took one trip and I have another one coming up but just being more picky with like speaking engagements and things like that, because I want to be away a little less because last year I was gone a lot. I mean, it was fun for me. Don't get me wrong.

Yeah, things wax and wane. I love that. Well, thank you so much for all of your pearls and your journey. So beautiful that you shared with us today. And please tell us anything about your business, how we can find you, follow you, all those good things. And of course, I will link to everything in the show notes as well. But definitely tell us verbally.

Yeah, so everything is wealthy mom MD. So it's my website. That's my instagram handle, same as my podcast, wealthy mom MD. And then as you know, I have a book, you can find that on my website, but it's called Defining Wealth For Women. It's a pink book.

I love that you wrote a book and I just think that that speaks to how we all have the ability to make our dreams come true. It's just them matter of getting your mind to it and then taking the action to make it happen

Exactly just taking steps, like all this stuff happens by doing like a lot of little things

Wonderful, well thanks so much for coming today, it was great having you.

Episode 68: The Fastest Way To Make Hard Decisions

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how we make hard decisions and the most efficient strategies to deal with them. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can identify and face the fears that are holding you back in order to create the life you want for yourself. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Mastering the Art of Decision-Making: Gain valuable insights into the decision-making process and learn strategies to overcome analysis paralysis. Discover how facing your fears head-on can lead to more confident and intentional decision-making in your career and life.
• The Definition and Power of Fearing Forward: Explore the concept of "fearing forward" and the transformative impact it can have on your life. Hear real-life examples of individuals who faced their fears head-on and reaped the rewards of courage and resilience.
• Understanding Fear as a Survival Mechanism: Delve into the psychology of fear and how it has evolved as a fundamental aspect of human survival. Gain insights into how our brains process fear and why it sometimes holds us back in modern society.
• Unlocking Greatness Beyond Fear: Uncover the immense potential that lies on the other side of fear. Learn how stepping out of your comfort zone, whether it's leaving a job, making a life-changing decision, or facing personal challenges, can lead to a life filled with fulfillment and happiness.

Don't miss this episode, where we discuss these topics and provide practical steps to help you overcome fear and make empowered decisions in your life. Join us as we explore the journey to authentic and intentional living.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 68. Welcome to this podcast episode. I am so excited to have you here today. If you've been listening, thank you so much for tuning in. And if you're new, welcome, welcome.

It is now getting cold in the Northeast, school is majorly in session. I actually went to a back to school night at my older one's school, it was so beautiful and his teachers are so enthusiastic and it's wonderful. And his kindergarten teacher teaches the kids on how to speak up for themselves, how to really advocate for themselves, and to have boundaries.

And I know that I'm sure you feel the same way I do, I wish I had been taught that when I was young because it's so useful, right? Because so many clients come to me struggling with boundaries and really finding it hard to be confident in themselves and having a hard time making decisions, which is really what brought me to today's episode topic.

And the work we're doing inside my program overcome burnout for good is so remarkable. Clients are just having breakthroughs every single day. And one of my clients actually was telling me, she's a doctor and a mom of three young kids, and she really felt like she was struggling with balancing everything, juggling it all, feeling like she was drowning. I'm sure that sounds familiar to you. But through working with me, she was really able to find balance in her career and able to manage stress and anxiety so much easier and being able to cultivate peace of mind in any given moment.

And with her I think it was especially tough because she had premature twins. And so she really had to work hard on cultivating peace when her baby twins might get sick, you can imagine the newborn phase and it really can be anxiety inducing. So cheers to her, kudos to her for doing the hard work that we do and really reaping the benefits. And to learn more about this process that we use inside my program, I encourage you to sign up for my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and exhaustion once and for all. The link will be in the show notes.

Now let's dive into today's topic, which really is about how we make hard decisions. And hard decisions really arise when we are afraid. Like they'll sit there, these decisions we have to make, they loom in the back of our minds. They're pending, they're definitely draining us of time and energy and brain space. And so they're difficult, right. And often the reason they're difficult is because they are tied to fears.

So we're going to talk about the concept of fearing forward. Now this is my own concoction, my own concept, fearing forward, but basically fearing forward is facing our fears, indecision, and moving forward anyway. So moving forward, in spite of our fears is fearing forward. And there's a famous quote by Franklin D Roosevelt, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Okay, so just remember that.

So I'm guessing maybe you find yourself afraid of making decisions, doing certain things, but you are underestimating yourself, you are underestimating your own power. And the reason you're doing this is it's basically a safety mechanism.

So this safety mechanism of fear in our brains is really a fundamental part of human survival. And fear is an emotional and a physiological response that has evolved over millions of years. And its purpose is to protect us from potential threats and dangers in our environments. And that's a good thing, right.

So here's how this works just so you kind of know how your brain is functioning. So our brain perceives a threat or danger, and then we're going to sense that through our senses, seeing hearing, smelling, or through cognitive processes, like thoughts and memories, and then that's going to activate the amygdala.

Now stay with me, this is a little scientific, you have to remember, I'm a physician. So this is of course, how my brain tends to think, and I think it's good for us to understand what's going on at baseline.

And that's how we can really work with it and take action to counteract some of these things that are not helpful.

So the amygdala in our brain really processes fear and emotional responses. And so when we perceive a threat, the amygdala is going to send signals to the hypothalamus, the brainstem, other parts of the brain, and you're gonna get a release of stress hormones in response to this signal that the amygdala is sending out.

And when we get the release of stress hormones, like adrenaline, cortisol, this really gets our body into the fight or flight mode. And so that's when you're going to feel the anxiety, right? So this of course, is going to get our heart rate going, have us feeling more alert, maybe increasing your breathing, increase blood flow to muscles, and the design of this is to help us react quickly to any perceived threat.

So of course then in response to the fear, our brain is going to trigger a behavioral response. So that would be fleeing from the threat, fighting to protect ourselves, and then of course these fearful experiences are going to be etched into our memory so that we can use it for future similar situations.

And over time, we learned to associate certain cues or situations with fear. And these really show up in today's world as triggers. Back in the day this was very useful, of course, when you're out in the forest scavenging and you gotta run from a wild animal, right.

But as much as the safety mechanism is so crucial for our survival, in the contemporary world, in today's life, this can become problematic because what we end up doing is we've got certain stories in our minds, we've got our childhood memories, which shaped us, and then we've got certain triggers that can trigger us into stress and anxiety. And if we don't know that this is happening, it puts us down rabbit holes, it stresses us out more, it makes us scared when maybe we don't need to be.

So fears can come in all shapes and sizes. Now smaller fears. I had a client one time she was telling me how she was brave and she faced her fear of going to Costco on a weekend with two small kids all by herself. And that was a great feat, right? Because, I'm not a big Costco person, I actually avoid grocery stores like the plague, I'd rather get my groceries delivered or pick them up. I don't love taking my kids to the grocery store because that also ends up requiring a lot of no, we can't get that no, we can't get this. And then of course, I have my own fear that I have to fight the fight of you can't have this and maybe a tantrum, maybe not. So that's an example of a small fear, right, that I'm sure you have faced.

Another example of a smaller fear might be flying with your kids alone, I know that I was so afraid to fly with my children by myself, not because it was actually scary. But having anxiety about the moments of collapsing the stroller right before you get on the plane for plane side check in and not having an extra set of hands. And at that time, I remember my baby wasn't walking yet. So just the idea of I had to put her in the carrier while I did this so that she wasn't crawling around on the floor. So it was a minor logistical nightmare. But these are the kinds of fears that we have, and then we face them and everything is okay. So these are kind of smaller fears.

Now, larger fears are, you know, fear of leaving a job, fear of leaving a partner, or a spouse, or a marriage, or moving cities. And these fears are bigger ones and not facing these fears, the big and the small, can really keep us stuck. And on the other side of facing our fears is truly greatness, because the status quo is so much easier to just do even if you're unhappy. Or even if you're miserable, or you just feel like this is not the life you wanted for yourself. That's where the unhappiness and the crappiness of life lies. When we're just kind of hanging in there in the status quo.

But when we start to do the scary thing, that is when life becomes so, so wonderful. And the courage is there in each and every one of us. And we do have the power to change, to make moves. Even if you don't believe it, it is there, it's inside of you. And this is really the work we do inside my program overcome burnout for good, really facing our fears, and fearing forward is one of the components in my five pillar process inside the program.

And I want to give you a small story about myself actually and be vulnerable here. I noticed recently, I became aware that I had had a fear of being overweight for much of my life because I was overweight, probably starting at the age of 10. And then in middle school, I went on a diet and I exercised and I pretty much maintained a healthy body weight. But my body weight was kind of up and down throughout high school and even college.

And it really wasn't until I think I hit residency in my mid 20s, where I really just started having a healthier attitude towards exercise and eating right. And I didn't have to be afraid of being overweight, because that had not happened for, at this point, 20 years.

But what's so interesting is we have these patterns ingrained in our minds, right? And they're so deep that we end up having irrational fears of things because we're just conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves. So for me, there's this inner overweight child inside. And I get to say, hey, that may have been a problem in the past, but that's no longer an issue and I get to let it go. So I get to face that fear. And I face it head on and I get to ditch it because I'm aware of it.

So I hope that helps you just understand that you're not alone in your fears. And we're gonna talk about how to face them. So here we go. Here's the action you can take to ditch your, fears face your fears, like I'm talking about. So I want you to think of one or two instances in your life where you faced your fears head on and on the other side was goodness or freedom or peace. Really, I would pause this and take some time to write it down or brainstorm a time when facing your fears really led to something beautiful.

Once you do that, really use that example as fuel to keep facing your fears, to keep making the scary decisions. Because this is really the currency to a happy, joyous, peaceful life. Facing our fears. Because most people want to run away from them because of course, right that keeps us safe, the status quo, but it is really through shaking things up that we can learn to have a way more fulfilling life. I want you to also identify and acknowledge your fears.

So really start by recognizing and naming the specific fear or fears that are holding you back, that are getting in your way, what are you afraid of? What are you afraid of stepping into? What are you afraid of leaving in a certain big scary decision? And know that you can be afraid and take action anyway, it does not have to paralyze you. And if you're facing a larger fear with a larger decision, and you really feel overwhelmed, simply break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. And this can really make the process less scary.

I know a lot of times, we tend to plan ahead, plan for the six months or year ahead. And not only is it overwhelming, but a lot of times things can just really change and our plans just go awry anyway. So it's really better when you're stressed, or you have something major going on, to take one baby step at a time.

And I have this client who was going through a very tough time. And she was in an abusive marriage with mental and physical abuse. And the idea of leaving her spouse was so daunting to her because the status quo was just changing. And in a way, it was easier, though living like that was really unbearable for her.

So instead of having a long term plan, because she could not fathom, she couldn't think of it, she just took one step of deciding she was going to move out. And that was it. There was no more thought after that. The first step was to move out. And that, of course, is a huge step. But it was just one step. And she didn't have to think about the future.

And that's how she was able to do it much more easily. Because she didn't go down the rabbit hole of what am I doing, is my marriage breaking up, or any of that. She literally just decided, okay, I'm going to keep myself safe and I'm moving out. So think about that as your example for just one baby step in a very seemingly insurmountable situation or decision.

So one baby step at a time, you take those, and eventually you get to where you need to go. Also, if you need support, seek help from friends, or a therapist, or a coach in having your accountability and really moving you forward. And when you're having negative thoughts really challenge and reframe those negative thoughts and beliefs, the ones that are not helping you, and figure out how you can really start to cultivate more powerful thoughts that will give you fuel to move forward.

So one of my favorite thoughts and mantras that I came up with, or maybe it was Bonnie Koo, who came up with it when I was working with her, was I can do this. And this has been such a powerful mantra of my life. And it really helps me to face my fears, to do the scary things, and really to live a life so much greater than I ever thought I would.

And then of course, the next step is to develop a plan and create a plan for how you're going to face your fear or make your decision, and have a step by step structured approach. And that's really going to make you feel empowered, like you have your sense of control. And know that you can always change your mind.

And knowing that we can always change our minds is really helpful in decreasing the scariness of making changes. And if you're feeling like a plan is too much, and you really don't want to make this long plan. It's intimidating, it's overwhelming, then do what I said earlier and really just take one small step. And of course, once you make your decision, taking action with a small step is really going to get you over that fear and to where you want to go.

And use that fear as a catalyst. Tony Robbins teaches that fear can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and transformation. So instead of avoiding fear, he suggests that we embrace it and use it as a tool for positive change. And then we get to redefine fear. So instead of seeing it as a negative thing, we can actually see it as a call to action and an opportunity for growth. So really reframing how we see things can help us to cultivate so much more peace of mind instead of spinning in confusion and feeling unhappy and miserable.

And as you face your fears. Remember to practice self compassion, really be kind and understanding to yourself because it really is normal to feel fear. I talked about basically our fight or flight response and how our brain is conditioned, right? So it's completely natural to feel fear and setbacks can happen. So really be kind to yourself and as compassionate to yourself as you would your own children or your friend. And remember, facing your fears takes so much strength and courage and it's okay to feel afraid. It's completely natural and normal.

The key is to not let your fear paralyze you, but instead use it as a motivator for growth, transformation, and positive change. And over time, as you practice, and you learn to face your fears, and have confidence, to make those tough decisions, you're going to build that resilience that is going to serve you so so well as you keep growing and changing.

And to really dive deep into this work, to have a streamlined process, to be more present at home even if you're working crazy hours to ditch the mom guilt, finally unplug, and and exhaustion and burnout forever in 90 days or less. And I say 90 days or less because we are high achievers and we want to get shit done.

And these processes are going to work faster than what you've tried, than the therapy, self help books, or yoga. Book a call with me to get started PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. On the call, you're going to find clarity for what's going on, what's getting in your way, and we will craft a roadmap to be rid of burnout for good. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 67: How Work-Life Balance Can Be Achieved By Finding Your Voice

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the very prevalent issue of how to find your voice. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can change what your life looks like by standing up and advocating for yourself. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• How to Unlock Your Inner Power: Discover how to find your voice, speak up, and overcome barriers that often hold women back from achieving their goals and asserting themselves both at work and at home.
• Confidence-Building Strategies: Gain valuable insights into building self-confidence, celebrating your achievements, and ditching self-doubt to become a more empowered and self-assured individual.
• Effective Communication Skills: Learn practical tips for clear and concise communication, navigating tough conversations with ease, and setting boundaries that align with your values and goals.
• Career Advancement: Explore the importance of salary negotiation, risk-taking, and advocating for yourself to accelerate your career growth and maximize your income potential.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

Apply to work witih Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call to end burnout for good.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 67. Hello, welcome. Thank you so much for tuning in today. It is fall, school has probably started for you if you're listening currently and the weather's getting a little bit chillier in the northeast, but that is time for pumpkin fun and Halloween.

My kids and I have actually been celebrating Halloween since last week, I bought a bunch of stuff from Target and the dollar store. The Dollar Store is the best for seasonal stuff. Don't know if you know that but that's my little tip for you today. And we've been doing Halloween treats and getting all excited with the Halloween PJs and celebrating. And I know we talked a little bit about there's no such thing as too much celebration on last week's episode.

And this week, we are going to talk about finding your voice and actually one of my clients Nivi who is a nephrologist, a kidney doctor, a mom of two young children. When she came to me she really felt like she was unheard and she felt small. And actually it's funny because she is probably I would guess five two or five three, and she found herself also small as in unheard at work.

But through the work that we did together, she really empowered herself to speak up for what she wanted, find her voice and actually get what she wanted at work in terms of her schedule, with reduced hours and less hospital medicine, as well as finding her voice to communicate better with her spouse.

So if you too want to find your voice, ditch the mom guilt, be present at home for the most important moments, check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and overwhelm, the link will be in the show notes.

Today I'm talking about finding your voice because women often find it difficult to speak up for themselves. And really this has to do with a bunch of different factors, one of which is the competence gap, which is really a phenomenon where women's doubt their skills, they lack self confidence and men tend to be actually overly competent, we have the opposite problem. And this shows up as saying yes all the time or not advocating for ourselves, being afraid to ask for what we want.

When you find your voice, you'll be more confident. And this really builds on itself and increases your confidence as time goes on. Because you're not going to get what you want without asking for it. And this goes for work or at home too, or with friends. And we often have to ask for what we need or for help when we need it. And that's totally okay. So learning to speak up for what you want is going to allow you to learn how to negotiate and get the life that you want.

So let's get into some more factors that affect women not finding their voices. I want to shed light on these so that you really start to become aware of what's happening to you. And then once you're aware you're not going to feed into these patterns or thoughts, specifically the ones that are not serving you. So often, women have a tough time finding their voice because they're afraid of what people think. And we are often high achieving moms with demanding careers. We are people pleasers. We want people to like us.

A couple examples of this. My client Sarah, who is an OBGYN, and a mother of three small children, she was afraid to speak up for herself at work and really advocate for the schedule that she wanted. She wanted to drop down from five days to four days, but she was really afraid of what her colleagues might think, were they going to think she's a slacker. Through our work together and empowering herself to find her voice and really speak up for herself, advocate for herself, she was able to get exactly what she wanted in terms of her work schedule. That was awesome.

Now, this actually also came up for me even though I've been doing this work for a while. Recently, I was on a group trip with many dear friends and a couple of topics kept coming up that were really uncomfortable for me and triggering for me. And I hesitated to say anything because I have this perception of myself. And I really think I probably come across this way, I speak my mind. I'm opinionated. I usually am not afraid to speak up. But actually there is a part of me that is afraid that people will think I'm being standoffish or adversarial. And I actually do have a little bit of trouble with confrontation. But I think most people who know me would be surprised by that.

And a lot of times, on a little bit of a side note, people who have it together or they manage themselves really well, I think others won't realize what you might be struggling with unless you actually find your voice and speak up about it. So when these uncomfortable topics were coming up, they came up one night, and I didn't really say anything. And then again, similar triggering content was coming up.

And I actually had a moment where I spoke up and I said hey guys, this is really triggering for me, if you don't mind, if we don't go down this path again, with this conversation. I'm doing really well and I've done a lot of work on myself, but I really would like to have fun and can we not go down the road of these topics again, and everyone just kind of kept quiet and we switched the subject and it's funny because the following day, I felt like oh, maybe I shouldn't have said anything and I said to one of my friends, I said oh I think it was bad when I said that and she said, no, you advocate for yourself and nobody's going to know if you don't say anything. And I felt so much better when she said that.

So this is just an example of how we have a tendency to worry about what other people think and maybe we have skewed views of ourselves. And so my point is, you don't need my permission, but I give you permission and give yourself permission to speak up and advocate for yourself. Another barrier to finding our voices is self perception. And I'm gonna talk about the barriers and then I'm gonna give you actionable tips as well, just trying to build your understanding of what's going on here with this finding voice issue that we have as women.

So according to a Hewlett Packard internal report, men apply for a job or promotion when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, while women will only apply to a job if they meet 100% of the qualifications. So this shows us that women often underestimate their qualifications compared to men. So our perception of ourselves, we downplay things, and this really makes us feel smaller than we are. So the solution here is to really be aware of this and careful about your self talk or downplaying your own achievements in your head.

A lot of us have been raised to be humble, and not to brag, which is good, but if you're proud of yourself, that's okay. That's a wonderful foundation to be confident in your life, in your relationships, and at work. Imposter syndrome is another reason that women have trouble finding their voice. And really, if you don't know what impostor syndrome is, it's characterized by self doubt, the fear of being exposed as a fraud in spite of being competent. And again, women experience this more commonly than men.

And studies have shown that women are more likely to attribute their success to external factors and luck, rather than their own abilities. So we really tend to underestimate ourselves, and then we stay quiet and small. But the solution here is to really acknowledge that this is going on, and separate fact from our feelings and fiction and really become aware of the stories that you're telling yourself. Also, do not compare and despair. Don't be comparing yourself to other people who are in your field and thinking, okay, why can't I have what they have, it's not helpful. So drop that too. And furthermore, celebrate whatever achievements that you have. So when you have something that goes well at work, you want to really take a minute to have gratitude for it and celebrate everything you've achieved.

Now, another area that women have a tough time speaking up for themselves is salary negotiation, women are really less likely to negotiate their salaries compared to men. And this can result in lower initial salaries, slower salary growth over time, and really messing up income potential. So remember, really try and build that confidence, work on seeing what you're doing well, and then finding your voice to negotiate that salary. Because honestly, you don't have a whole lot to lose. When you ask for more, maybe you won't get it. But if you don't ask, you'll never know.

And another cause of not being able to find our voices is risk aversion, because women are often perceived as more risk averse than men. And this may lead to avoiding taking on challenges or kind of stepping outside of our comfort zones and advocating for things or new opportunities that could really accelerate our career growth.

So here are some strategies to find your voice. So finding your voice really entails having self compassion, kindness, and that really helps you to build resilience and feel more confident. And really, instead of the golden rule of treat others as you would want to treat yourself, I'm going to tell you do that. But also do the opposite. Treat yourself as you would treat others because often I bet you would sit there and encourage a friend to ask for that promotion, to advocate for herself in any given situation, or communicate with her husband. And then when it comes to you, you're not going to be as kind to yourself or as encouraging towards yourself or supporting yourself right.

Also ditching people pleasing and external validation. So not worrying so much about what other people think and really being true to ourselves helps us to build the confidence to get what we want, regardless of what other people might think. And the thing about other people and what they think, yeah, people gossip. Yeah, they might judge you. But really, everybody's really busy wrapped up in their own lives.

So maybe a five minute conversation about you and then they move on. So in the scheme of things, does it make sense to try and control those five minute conversations that other people have about us, maybe negatively? It makes no sense to put a lot of energy into that because in the end, it doesn't matter. And in the scheme of things, the larger picture, going after what we want is so much more important because people really don't know what our lives are like on the inside of our heads or in our shoes. Practicing boundaries is another important way to find your voice.

So the power of no, learning to say no, really practicing setting clear boundaries, declining to participate in commitments that don't really align with your goals or values. This really helps you to speak up for yourself and also be really picky about how you're spending your time and how you're spending your energy. And of course, therefore, you're gonna feel less exhausted, less burnt out and more happy. Also learning to communicate these boundaries, when necessary. Being able to talk to someone senior, being assertive about what your limits are, that's really important for your own personal confidence, respect, and professional growth. So the more you practice, practice may not make perfect, but you're gonna get better and better at finding your voice.

Building self confidence, as I've kind of mentioned already is so critical in finding your voice. So really reflect on everything you've achieved. In fact, I would, after this episode is over, take a moment to really write all the stuff down that you've achieved in your life and make a list of your achievements. Keep it somewhere, maybe a list on your phone, that way you can go back to it and really see how capable you are and use your positive achievements and everything you've accomplished up until now, use that to really fuel you as you continue to progress in your life, in your career. So speaking up effectively, how do you do that? Right?

Really part of this is having clarity. So being clear and concise. So when expressing yourself, really using basic language, don't over explain yourself. And this is really an epidemic, depending on how you've been raised, I know I have a major tendency to over explain myself and I will start typing out a text and then I'm explaining and I ended up deleting a lot of it. So it's taken a lot of practice, but not over explaining is critical in clear communication, and even helps us to speak up.

Organizing your thoughts too, really outlining key points that you might want to talk about, or things you want to convey to ensure that your message is being understood. Also a part of finding our voice is getting better at navigating tough conversations. So really getting ourselves into a calm state of mind. And I focus on my breath when I need to center myself to keep myself from, let's say feeling a really strong emotion when it's not useful. And calming ourselves and finding this balance can really help de-escelate a tense situation. And we're able to express ourselves, and expressing our thoughts and feelings, really using I statements so that we're not accusing anyone of anything.

And when it comes to addressing touchy subjects at work, really focus on the issue and not the person and do your best to not make it personal. No avoiding, that is very helpful, and proposing solutions. Being proactive in conflict resolution and solutions is really helpful and helps us to grow and move up in the workplace and in life in general. And when we're solution oriented, and we don't complain, and we don't focus on what's not going well, we find ourselves happier. So finding your voice and really learning to effectively communicate. These are skills that can be developed. You don't have to have them right off the bat. And they can improve over time.

By understanding why women tend to have a tough time with finding their voices and being aware of the stories that we're telling ourselves, and then also using the strategies that I talked about today we can learn to speak up effectively and really navigate challenging conversations, address conflicts professionally and personally while really maintaining our own integrity.

Try one or more of the strategies that I talked about today and really see how you start creating the life that you want for yourself. And if you want to learn more, to get more individualized help book a call with me. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me to get started on being more present home, even if you're working long hours, ditch that mom guilt, unplug, end exhaustion and burnout for good in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in today and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 66: How To Be Happy As A Working Mom

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about cultivating inner peace and living a more meaningful life. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about living life as if you were given a second chance and finding happiness in the ordinary things. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• How to live a life with more regrets
• How to find fulfillment
• Practical tips to get the most out of your life

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 66. Welcome. I'm so happy to have you here today. Thank you so much for tuning in, thinking and assuming that you're back in the rhythm, school has started, and the kiddos are back to school.

I wanted to mention one of my clients, Diana, who is a physician and mother of two small kids, she was telling me how really before coaching with me, she was struggling with feeling like she didn't have enough time, how to balance everything, she felt so much mom guilt. And after coaching with me and going through my program, she really was able to show up as her best self and ditch the mom guilt and truly be present at home with her kids.

And she was actually saying if you feel like you're drowning and want to enjoy your life again, I would recommend Prianca, which is so sweet of her. So this is the work that we're doing inside my life coaching program overcome burnout for good in 90 days or less. As a physician and having my masters in neuroscience, I've really created easy, implementable tools, including my three N methods and other processes that really help cultivate peace of mind, balance mindfulness without a ton of time.

And to learn more about the work I do inside my program join my free on demand masterclass four steps to overcoming burnout, overwhelm, and truly getting your peace of mind back, the link will be in the show notes.

Today, I want to talk about really shifting your mindset for a happier, more enriched life. And I did actually talk about perspective shifts in Episode 44, about what your 80 year old self would think about something and putting on that lens, really transposing that lens to the current moment. And that allows us to not take insignificant things too seriously. So definitely listen to that episode, Episode 44 first, if you have not, before you listen to this one.

Because this episode today, I'm going to expand on this concept. We're going to talk about having a second chance at life without though having a near death experience. So there are people who have beat cancer, or they do have near death experiences, and they come back, they face their life really living differently, probably better. So what if we could do the same without having to die? That sounds pretty good, right?

So before I get into the exercise, and really the couple of ways you can look at this and how to approach it, I want to talk about a Anita Moorjani's book Dying To Be Me. And I read this a few years ago, and it's really a memoir that talks about her journey from being on the verge of death to a miraculous recovery.

She had been diagnosed with stage four cancer, and at that time, when she had this cancer, she was living a life really for others, out of alignment with who she was, who she wanted to be. And this near death experience, also abbreviated NDE really changed her sense of her life and healing and it transformed her, she felt a sense of interconnectedness. And she talks about how she made an active choice to not die and to return to life.

Now, of course, this story is going to challenge conventional beliefs about illness and recovery. And some people might think it's woowoo. Regardless, I think it's just important to see that she had this message of coming back from NDE to embrace a newfound lease on life.

And I actually am getting chills as I talk about this because I think this work is so powerful. And her memoir really offers us an example of life's challenges and how they can be a true catalyst for change and a deeper connection to who we really are and connecting to who you are.

And if you don't know what that is, the work that we do inside my program, we really dive deeply into that. But if you don't have a sense of yourself, right, then you're kind of living all over the place. And when we do that, we're out of integrity.

Once we can truly get to know ourselves, our values, and how we want to live, and we can live in alignment with that, then we can be at peace and have the balance and end the burnout that really ails so many women.

And I'm sure you can relate with this. So let's talk about how we can really cultivate inner peace and live a more meaningful life. So that is through today's topic, which is what if you had a second chance at life? How would you do things? We're going to really look at this concept in two different ways.

So way number one, so this is really when you have a new beginning. For example, let's say you have a new job or a new relationship or you're moving to a new city. So when you have a new beginning, really ask yourself, what did you learn from your past recent journey, your past job, your past relationship, the way you lived in your past town? And what was good, what worked? What didn't work? And how do you want to improve? And how can you use what you've learned for a better now and a better future?

So let's say you're leaving a job for another one, don't underestimate the significance of these kinds of changes, because you might really have some grief for the loss of a certain job. It's its own death, right? So that's why I bring it up in this episode, how can you take the death of that job, and then have a rebirth with a new job? So how would you show up? Ask yourself that question. And when you can answer that, you take the answer, and you put that answer into action. And that's really how you're going to change your life experience for the better of course.

Similarly, if you're ending a relationship, or you've had a divorce, you're in a divorce, what did you learn? How did you get there? How did you end up there in the end? And what was your role? And knowing all this, once you reflect on this, and take some time to do this, because I'm just kind of rattling these off, but the text will be in the show notes. So you can look at that for further guidance. How can you approach the present and the future differently in the context of all of this?

So actually, in life we do get the chance to be reborn. And that's a little dramatic, right, being reborn. But basically, what I'm saying is we get a fresh start all the time, and maybe you're not realizing it. So I'm just trying to increase awareness for you, become aware of when you get a fresh start, and it can be as simple as okay, September's the new school year, I get a fresh start in this.

Often for me, when the year is ending, I do a lot of reflection exercises and goals for the following year. But that's a reset. And then I do another reset, let's say in the summer, I give myself a fresh start when the summer's starting. And then again, when the school year's starting, I might do like a reset, a rebirth, et cetera. And it really helps us to keep ourselves active in living our lives, and really taking an active role in how we want to live our lives, what we want for our lives instead of letting life live us.

And it's when we let life live us that we get drained, we feel exhausted, we feel unhappy when we're not doing what our heart desires, what we really want to be doing. And the concept that we can't is really something that we've been taught. And it's really not the case. And I did talk about dreams in a different episode. So creating the life of your dreams, check that out. It's a past episode, if you haven't, and that talks much more about this.

But basically, we get to take control of our lives by refreshing ourselves whenever we want. And we can take a new lease on life. A refreshed, rejuvenated a second chance at life at any given moment. You can decide today in fact, you don't need at the end of the year or the times that I've just mentioned, you can create your own rebirth, your own, I'm coming back, I'm reliving my life, I get a second chance at life in this moment, you could do it right now. So that's way number one of the second chance.

Now the way to look at this number two of the second chance is imagine that you are on your deathbed, okay? And someone, let's say an angel, whatever your religious preferences or beliefs are, you can just insert whomever. It could be a loved one who's passed, just someone, comes and tells you that you're not going to die in this moment and you actually get to go back. Beautiful, right?

I mean, I'm sure so many people would love that. So instead of us being on our deathbed, wishing we had more time, let's try and create a life where when we die, we can say I lived a beautiful life, and I'm ready to pass. How beautiful is that? That's so rare, right? But we can create that. So given that you have this second chance at life, how are you going to show up throughout your day, now I'm talking about moment to moment, hour by hour, because now you realize that your time is limited.

And often we behave as though we're not going to die. In my medical practice, I treat a lot of patients at the ends of their lives, and I have seen that family members often behave as though their family is never supposed to die and that it's natural to live forever, though we know it's a fact that we are all going to die. So with this fact, if we face this fact, which is not an easy fact to face, but it's true, then how would you show up moment to moment.

And this is different for everyone. So I'm going to give you a couple examples of how this shows up for me. And then I will give you some practical tips in case you're feeling lost on ideas of how to do this. Alright, so for me, I practice a lot of mindfulness and I tend to be in the present moment because I've practiced years and years of meditation and I take what I've learned from years of sitting meditating and I apply that to my life, which is a lot of what I teach in my program without the meditation, but I'm able to soak in the moments.

And also when I was young, many astrologers in India, this is definitely a cultural thing, had told my mother that she was going to die in a bad accident at 40. And my family shared this information with me when I was young, which I don't know if they should have, but they did. And so I actually grew up thinking that I was not going to have my mom forever. And that translated to me, even as a teenager, every single conversation with my parents, I would always say, I love you, bye, I love you bye.

And I would always kind of think this could be the last time I see them. So that's my background. And I do tend to live life as though I'm not living forever, or the people that I love are not living forever. So that's sort of how that has shown up in my life till today. Now, today, with my children, and my parents, I really try it to savor the ordinary moments, because with my parents, I know they're getting older, right.

So spending time with them is really critical, because that's not going to last forever. And I acknowledge that. So I will visit them at their home, my dad likes to do a bonfire and do s'mores, and we put on music and we dance and we laugh and we go out to eat. And these are all really ordinary things. But they're actually really extraordinary. At the same time, they're really special. And I try to soak in those moments, because I know they're not going to last forever. And I know that someday all I will have are memories of my parents.

And similarly with my children. They're really young and super precious. And it's sort of the reverse issue that these moments with my children, when they're babies, that's not going to last forever, they're going to turn into adults. So I really try and soak in all of the ordinary moments with them, right. And of course, there are also tough moments that are filled with tantrums because that goes with the age.

So during the happy times, the dancing, the coloring, the shopping at Target, going out to eat, hanging out with them, driving with them, when they're singing in the car or talking I am just in awe of their cuteness, the things they say and the rate at which they're learning new things. It's insane. It's incredible. And this actually brings me to tears a lot. I feel what I feel, what can I say. So I really just am able to be present and enjoy them.

Enjoy the good times, and just the normal moments, which are just so so so so so precious. And I have tremendous gratitude for them too. And that's how I feel, you don't necessarily have to feel that way. But personally, I wanted to be a mother when I was six years old. So for me, my children are the greatest gift that life could have given me and they themselves surpass whatever expectations I had of what my children would be.

So I practice gratitude for them on a very regular basis, probably a few times a week, I am so grateful for them. And actually, I will tell them too. Especially my five year old who understands a little bit more than my two year old might understand, I will literally tell him how grateful I am for him. And I want them to know that, I think that's important.

Conversely, though, I never realized that being a mother meant being woken up multiple times a night for a bad dream or being afraid of the dark. But that is also part of being a mom. And that part is not really fun, right. But with this perspective, I know that just like the cute stuff, and the cute young, adorable time will pass quickly, the negative phases will also pass quickly.

So I get to not give the difficult times a ton of attention. And I can sort of let them go and instead focus on the good. And that's my choice. And what that ends up doing for me is it creates a more positive life experience during which I feel more fulfilled and more gratified. This is all a choice, just like it is for you, you have a choice too.

So if you're feeling a little lost on how to really get that second chance at life, here are some things that you can do to really enhance your life experience. So one thing is practicing gratitude and practicing mindfulness. Gratitude practice is really easy to do, you don't have to journal and I actually have an episode on gratitude practice earlier in this podcast, so check that out. But basically, you can just recite to yourself five things you're grateful for every morning when you're showering.

Mindfulness also, simply saying to yourself, there is a body and focusing on your breath can really help you to just be present in any given moment. Forgiving yourself and others is another great way to approach this second chance at life because really forgiving yourself helps you cultivate inner peace and make peace with your past because none of us is perfect and we do make mistakes.

So we get to have compassion for ourselves and really cultivate inner peace by doing that. And in terms of forgiving others really forgiving others is more about us than it is about them. And by forgiving others, we get to let go of any negative energy, negative emotions that we're hanging on to. And that really is liberating. And along with that really letting go of stuff that does not matter. So if something is trivial, if it doesn't matter in the long run, if it's not a do or die issue, which most issues are not, then really being able to let go.

The next tip is to embrace what is going well and put on those rose colored glasses for ourselves. Because we really have a choice on how we see things. And if we can even see our challenges as serving us or testing us, or what are we learning from this, it's so much better than having a victim mentality, because that is much more depressing and sad.

So we can embrace what is happening, and also what we are doing well, because we don't give ourselves enough credit for all the good things that we're doing. And I'm sure you're doing a ton of them. So give yourself a pat on the back. And again, it is great to have other people validate what you're doing. But that really gives our power away. So we get to reclaim our power by validating ourselves and supporting ourselves. And the more we can do that, the more inner strength, resilience, and peace we're going to build.

The next thing you can do is literally figure out what you want out of this life and go after it yesterday. Okay, because time is so short. Somebody was telling me that they wanted to go into politics, and I said to this person, well, then you just need to do it right this minute. Right this moment, get going on it because time is of the essence. And you might as well just do it, don't prolong things that you really want to do.

Another important way to approach our second chance at life is really connecting with those you care about that can be however you see fit via phone call, via FaceTime, an email, seeing them, maybe another way to do this is to write thank you notes. First start with yourself, practice gratitude to yourself and all the wonderful things you're doing. And then thank you notes to other people in your life.

It's funny that I'm doing this episode because I literally wrote a bunch of notes to people last week, a bunch of my friends whom I care about, I wrote them notes the other day and mailed them out. But it really is beautiful to let those people that you know have had an impact on your life or that you care about or care about you that you appreciate them. That way if you die tomorrow, you did make your peace with them. Or if they die tomorrow, you have your sense of okay, I did let them know that I love them.

Another way to approach coming back, having a second chance at life, really ask yourself how would you prioritize your work versus your home life if you got that second chance? What would you change? And this is a critical question because a lot of us are living on autopilot and really don't take the time to think about these things. But taking the time to reflect upon these issues is so important in getting the most out of this beautiful life.

If you had a second chance, what would you do in terms of your physical and mental health? Would you take better care of it? And how? Would you travel more? And if you would, then you need to start booking those flights. Get going, see everything you want to see. Travel more often. And I know people make up a lot of excuses, I can't, but the truth is you actually can.

You get to create what you want for yourself, whatever that means. And the last way to really make the most of the second chance is to celebrate everything. You get to celebrate everything you want. Whatever you want in this life, whatever you think is a time to celebrate. Let's do it. So for me, this shows up as celebrating the first day of school with my son, we got a cake, we lit candles, I FaceTimed a bunch of relatives and we did a little party.

We sang, we danced, my son was running around the house, he was so happy. It was wonderful, what a great memory. And now, it's only September but I got a bunch of Halloween stuff and we're celebrating Halloween for the next six weeks and that's really fun. So whatever it is that you want to celebrate, you get to celebrate yourself, celebrate life, enjoy, and there's really no such thing as enjoying yourself or celebrating too much, meaning within the realm of healthy choices.

So obviously over drinking and doing that isn't okay but you're able to celebrate, right, you can celebrate in a healthy manner and really, really soak it all in. So today I challenge you to create your second chance at life for yourself. Your redo, whatever that means for you. Soaking in the good, letting go of the bad, forgiving yourself, forgiving others, connecting more with those you love, or anything else that you would ever want to do if you had a do-over.

Get to it ASAP because there really is no time to waste. And to really make the most of this precious life, to be more present at home even if you work long hours, to ditch the mom guilt, to finally unplug, to end exhaustion and end burnout for good in 90 days or less, learn my streamlined processes to really heal from the inside out. Book a call and apply to work with me to get started PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 65: Mastering Time Management For Career-Driven Moms

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the important issue of time management for high-power working moms. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can get hours back each week and make the most of the time that you have. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• How time is flexible
• To set boundaries so you get several hours back weekly
• To preserve your energy and get time back
• How you have more time than you think

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the Empowering Working Moms podcast, episode number 65. Hello there listeners, I am so glad that you are tuning in today. Welcome, welcome. If you are a faithful old listener, not old, but you've been listening, I'm so grateful to have you here. And if you're new, thank you for listening to the empowering working moms podcast today.

And I'm going to talk about time management, which is such an important issue, right, because for us high power working moms, we just don't ever have enough time or that's just how we feel. And it's just tough to fit it all in. And many of my clients actually after working with me, they get time back every week, hours and hours. And they find the confidence that they need to create the work schedule that they want to create, or even change the type of work that they want to do to truly give themselves hours back each week.

And a lot of this comes from living in alignment with the kind of life that they want to live, which is actually part of the first module of my coaching program overcome burnout for good. And if you really want to learn more about the work we do here, check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and overwhelm, the link will be in the show notes.

I'm going to start this episode out by discussing the actual amount of time that people have on average. So we're gonna do a little math here. So we know that there are 24 hours a day, seven days in the week. So 24 times seven equals 168 hours, every single week. So if you're working roughly 40 hours a week, there may be people who work more, this is just average, you're sleeping, let's say an average of eight hours a night, you're probably sleeping less than that. But let's just say that.

So you've got 40 hours of work a week, and then 56 hours of sleeping. If you do the math and you subtract 56 plus 40. Take that math, subtract it from 168, you're gonna have 62 hours left outside of work and outside of sleep. Now that is a lot of free time, 62 hours every single week, that's a lot. And time actually really will stretch and accommodate what we put into it.

And I learned this concept when I read Laura Vanderkams book, What Successful People Do Before Breakfast, and she gave an example of how one of her clients water heaters broke, and she needed an extra, I believe it was 12 to 15 hours back that week. And somehow she was able to create that time to be home while her water heater got fixed. So really realize the time is a lot more flexible than we think.

And a lot of times when we set goals or an emergency happens, we do get something done in less time than we think. The reverse is also true where we think we're gonna get done a lot more in a given day. But there is the concept that you can get done a lot more in like a longer span of time, like let's say a year, you can achieve so much more than you think. But then on a day to day basis, you may overestimate. So overestimating the short term time amount and under estimating the longer term time where you can actually achieve much larger goals.

So to really understand time and managing it better, we have to shift our perspective, shift how we see time. So as I mentioned, the idea that time can bend to accommodate our needs is really something that has gained attention in science and philosophy, science fiction writers. And while we don't really have the capability to manipulate time, like time travel in stories, there are some aspects of our perception that can really create a sense of flexibility with our time.

And flexibility is so key because really feeling that flexibility, it makes us feel we have a sense of freedom. And there's nothing better than feeling free and not tethered down or boxed in by your time. So our perception of time can really vary so much depending on how we're feeling, what we're doing, for example, the saying time flies when you're having fun, right? So when we're doing something really fun, time can go so fast. But if we're bored, or we're waiting for something, and we're doing something not fun, time can feel like it's dragging on forever.

So this aspect of understanding how our mindset and frame of mind changes our perception of time or our experience, really, we can, to a certain extent control how we experience time, we really embrace something and we're enjoying it, it's gonna go by faster as opposed to when we're not having fun. Also, we can plan our days efficiently, prioritize tasks, try not to procrastinate, right, and then that creates a sense of gaining time in a day.

So multitasking, people think that that's the best way to get things done. But that also is when you have too many things on your mind, you actually will be less productive and you're going to do things more slowly and it'll take longer in the end. And certain activities will alter our perception of time. For example, if we're super stressed or you're having a life or death experience, which hopefully you're not, time can really slow down. And that way we can react more effectively.

And I remember when my father and I got into a horrible car accident when I was in middle school, there was a horrible storm and the van that we were in slid on black ice into this ravine that was really deep in between two highways, and the car tumbled twice. And luckily, we ended up upright, and we survived with really not even a scratch. But I remember at that time, the minute that the van slid, and it did its first turn into that ravine, it was so slow, it really slowed down time, because I must have gotten into a fight or flight mode, a near death experience, or at least what felt like it at the time.

So these examples really show how our perception and management of time can really bend time. So it's really important to remember that time itself is constant, right? And we can't really manipulate it, but it is flexible, and we can work with it and really optimize our experience to make the most of the time that we have.

And a lot of this is about energy management too, which I will get to in a minute. Energy management in the sense that there's a quote by Jim Rohn, that is, I've talked about in past episodes, so important, and I really tried to live by it, stand guard to the door of your mind, which means that you really need a sieve to your brain and input you allow in and how you manage your energy.

So we must also stand guard to the door of our time, and be really picky about how we allow ourselves to spend our time and not be doing things that we really don't want to do or don't line up with our values. So effective time management isn't really just about managing the clock, it's about managing your energy levels.

So not allowing yourself to get drained by people or situations if you really don't need to, let's say if you're tired, or you're not feeling well, do not at that moment pick up the call of a person who you know is going to talk your ear off for an hour. Or if it's the kind of person who really makes you feel depleted after talking to them, for example, you really have to be mindful about how you are spending your time and energy.

So in terms of time management tips, I'm going to talk about some indirect ways of managing your time. And then I'm going to discuss more concrete actionable tips that you probably haven't heard before. So in terms of managing time, indirectly, one way is to set boundaries, that's so critical, because setting boundaries really preserves our safety, our space, our time, our energy.

And along with that is the power of No. So that means not taking on extra projects, saying no to things that don't align with our values and our priorities, really being aware of our perhaps people pleasing tendencies and not giving into them, and also taking rests and breaks to improve our productivity and realizing that it's better to do certain things when we are feeling fresh.

For example, I have noticed that if I write patient notes, right when I'm seeing them or shortly after, I get them done so much more quickly. But if I write them later in the day, after my children are in bed, I'm so exhausted that it takes me probably triple to quadruple the time it would take during the day. So that right there would be poor management of time, so don't do that.

Also, another way of indirectly managing our time is seeing time as it aligns with our priorities. So really creating values and priorities, knowing what they are and choosing to spend our time in alignment with those. Also hanging out with people who energize us and really not hanging out with those who we find draining because the more drained we are, the more time we might waste because we're going to be exhausted. So once you begin to align your decisions with your priorities and values, you will see a ton of time is going to be freed up.

I'm going to shift now to discussing concrete actionable tips that you probably haven't heard before. And these tips will help you to reclaim your time, boost productivity, and really get a balance between your career and your home life. So grab a notepad because you're gonna want to remember these gems.

Tip number one is the one minute rule. So if a task takes less than a minute to complete, do it right away. Whether it's answering an email, paying a bill tidying up your workspace, tackling small tasks can really prevent them from piling up and really that will prevent feeling overwhelmed later. So any task that is quick. I find even tidying things up, I'll do part of the task and that takes me a minute and it's not so bad. Be it like bringing my laundry down without actually doing the laundry and later I might do it.

Number two is time blocking with a twist. So time blocking is pretty popular but let's add a twist to it. Instead of just scheduling work related tasks, specific blocks of time for self care, family time or personal growth, really treat these blocks with the same importance as you would your work task. And watch how it really changes your life. So you want to take your personal life and really take it seriously with following a schedule.

Now only do this if you find scheduling stuff on your phone and the calendar or on paper, if it brings you joy, do it. If you tend to get overwhelmed with scheduling stuff, then I would say skip this one. But this is for people who really thrive with creating order and more organization.

For me, I actually tend to put meetings, if I have a dinner with friends, or a trip or something, that's all on my calendar. But I don't really add a bunch of other stuff to my calendar because I personally find it stresses me out more than not.

Number three, a one touch rule for emails. So stop checking your email every few minutes. Instead, decide that you'll check it, let's say every hour or every two hours and then really do a one touch rule, meaning when you open an email, you're gonna take action, reply, delegate or delete. And this really will minimize your email clutter and make sure you're not constantly being interrupted with your email. So on your phone, you would also turn off the notifications for email. I know I do that.

Okay, so the next tip, tip number four is the power of 10 minute tasks. So of course, you're busy and finding long stretches of uninterrupted time between your career and your kids, maybe your spouse, 10 minute tasks can really help you be productive. So really, you can set a timer for 10 minutes and brainstorm ideas, make a phone, call organize a small part of your home, and you really get a lot done. This is also similar to Gretchen Rubin's, she calls it a one hour Power Hour.

So every week, she sets aside one hour to do nagging tasks. So all the stuff you dread and don't want to do, set aside one hour during the week and really block that out on your calendar, or not if you don't like the calendar aspect, and get things done, like your doctor's appointments, or all those other irritating tasks. And of course, if you're able to, if you have the financial freedom or you want to prioritize getting stuff off your plate, I would outsource these things and get somebody to do it for you.

Tip number five is the two minute mindfulness break. So really incorporating a two minute break in your day where you can literally focus on your body, focus on your breath, do a breathing exercise, and really the way you could do it is you could just sit there, if you can find a private space or like get a little time out for yourself.

Close your eyes, notice your body, take a few deep breaths, counting to seven or eight as you inhale, seven or eight as you exhale, and then focus on your breath, set a timer, do it for two minutes. And this will really reset you and destress you and can boost your productivity and mental well being, which then gives you more time as well.

Number six. So delegate creatively, you might really need to do everything yourself or you feel like you do. But delegating, as I said can really save you time. Reduce your workload, outsourcing tasks that don't bring you joy, whatever that is, be it meal prep, or house cleaning, or online research anything that's a joy thief for you, I would try and get somebody else to do it or pay somebody else.

Tip number eight, the No Challenge. So I talked a little bit about this earlier. But this is a concrete plan for you in really engaging in the power of No. So that means, so understand that when you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else. So if you say yes to whatever it is you're taking away time for yourself or time from something else. So understanding that your time is so so precious, and being really, really tight with how you spend it.

So you could try this exercise for a month and make a promise yourself to say no to non essential commitments. And anything that you really don't need to do or you really don't want to do is going to help you free up so much time and energy and let you focus on your top priorities. And you're not going to overload your schedule, and you're going to feel so much more free and happy and like you have so much more time.

Tip number nine is to literally try and track for one week how you're spending your time and 15 minute blocks. And this can be so so useful. I did this one time, and you will see where you're losing your time and where you could be more efficient or where you could maybe do like a two minute mindfulness break and stop scrolling your phone on social media, these kinds of things.

So I highly encourage you to sit there and make a chart for yourself. And notice what you're doing Sunday through Saturday in 15 minute increments and then you can reflect on where your time is going.

Which leads me to tip number 10 which is really a weekly reflection time so you can reflect on how you're spending your time and also really reflect on how you're feeling, how things are going, what you can celebrate, what you did well, what's not going well, what can be improved, how can you manage your time and energy better.

And this will really keep the time and energy management at the top of mind for you which is awesome, right? So the more you really become aware of how your spending your time the more you can take powerful action to reclaim it back and really be spending it in a way that's in integrity with how you want to live your life and once you start doing this I promise you're gonna find yourself having so much more peace of mind and being so much happier. So cheers to that.

If you have any questions feel free to contact me at Prianca at stresscleansemd.com with any questions. I'd be happy to talk you through any roadblocks are having. Or better yet book a call with me to really get started on this work and have a streamlined process to be more present at home, get hours back each week, even if you're working a lot.

Ditch the mom guilt, finally unplug, end exhaustion and burnout for good in 90 days or less. And the work that we do with coaching, it works so much faster than therapy, yoga, self help books, I promise. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. I would love to talk to you, see where you are and if you're a good fit for my program. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 64: 5 Steps To Ease Anxiety

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about several ways in which you can lessen your level of stress and anxiety. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can break anxiety in order to create inner peace for yourself. Tune in to this episode for more.

In this episode, you will learn:

• How to Manage A Busy Mind
• What The Default Mode Network is and How to Deal with it
• Easy Practical Strategies to Manage Stress & Anxiety Mindfully

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 64. Hello, thank you so much for tuning in today. I hope you're having a great day. If you're listening on Wednesday, the day that this podcast drops, happy, happy Wednesday, people call it hump day I guess. I'm not that into that saying. So I'll just call it Wednesday.

Hope everything is going smoothly. And as we bid the summer farewell, you're still able to find ways to enjoy yourself. Even though I know, especially in the northeast, summer is a really fun time that we all enjoy because we get to be outdoors. I want to talk a little bit about one of my clients before we dive into today's topics.

My client Melanie who is an allergist, so she's a physician specializing in allergy immunology. She's a mom of two small kids and we work together and she was telling me how much better she was doing after coaching with me in terms of her anxiety. And the mindfulness tools that we use, she was really able to go from basically every sneeze and cough during COVID would send her into a spiral of catastrophization, worrying about "am I gonna get COVID" and stressing out.

And then through mindfulness tools that we practice, including my three N method, she was really able to process her thoughts and feelings and she was able to get distance from them and find much more peace of mind. And the work we are doing inside my coaching program is really not time intensive. So if it's possible for Melanie to be out of burnout, out of anxiety and really enjoying her life, it's possible for you too. To learn more join my free on demand masterclass four steps to ending burnout and exhaustion to finally get your peace of mind back.

So I started with telling you about Melanie and her anxiety because I want to talk about a little bit of stress and anxiety today and awareness around that because the more we educate ourselves, the more we can kick anxiety's ass and I know this is something that high achieving type A moms really struggle with. So when you're super stressed here's what is often happening.

This is the cycle: you have the stress or the stressor, you have minimal sleep, increased irritability, and then everything is irritating you and now your stress and anxiety are worse. So this is a very vicious cycle. So how do we deal with this and break the cycle? Well, by being aware, and I talk about awareness all the time, but really awareness is the first step in this work, becoming aware of what your brain is doing. If there's one thing that you can learn from my podcast episodes, it is awareness. Awareness also, we're going to talk about today that the brain is doing its own thing.

And that's the monkey mind, which is basically the default mode network or the DMN. And I'm going to explain more about that because it's really important to educate yourself on this topic in combating stress and anxiety. So do you know when your thoughts are racing a mile a minute, really swinging from one thought to the next, or really one branch to the next like a curious monkey? Well, that's why this phenomenon is called a monkey mind. And it is common when stress enters the picture, it's important to recognize that having a busy mind is totally normal, especially when we're stressed out.

So this is really the default mode network, the network in our brain that becomes active when we are not engaged in specific tasks. And it allows our mind to wander, sometimes leading to overthinking or dwelling on the past or the future and not being in the present moment. Now the DMN can really be a double edged sword because it provides us with creative thinking, but can also contribute to higher stress levels when left unchecked.

So think about your default mode network and how maybe if you didn't even know about it, you're leaving it unchecked. So I just want you to be aware of that. Really think about that. Now stress and anxiety and mind wandering are very closely connected. When we are feeling stressed or anxious, our mind tends to gravitate towards the default mode network.

And this causes us to replay stressful scenarios or obsess over things. We plan for challenges and we create an endless loop of worry. And then this can worsen our stress levels. And so it's really important for us to be aware of this, to get away from it and not feed into this default mode network as much.

Now you might be wondering, how do we manage this constant chatter in our minds along with the tendency to dwell on stressful things? Well, here's the answer, cultivating mindfulness, mindful awareness. So by acknowledging that our monkey mind and the default mode network exist, we take our power back, we get power to redirect our focus, to shift our perspective and really be mindful. And mindfulness is truly about being in the present moment, becoming an observer of our thoughts without judgment so that we're not one with our thoughts.

We're not one with our feelings, we're not going down the rabbit hole, and consciously making a decision as to where to direct our mental energy. So here are some practical strategies for navigating stress and anxiety mindfully now that we understand the default mode network and where a lot of this stems from.

So as I mentioned before, and I say in all of this work, the first step and key to this work is awareness. Now, we can also get more specific with that. We can practice breath awareness. And this is really practicing deep breathing exercises, taking a few long, deep breaths, counting to seven or eight while you inhale, you can even hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly for a count of seven or eight.

Do this about five times or so and it will really clear your brain get you into the present moment, get you into your body, out of your head and practice mindfulness where you can be present and really calm your racing thoughts.

Another method is to take mindful breaks. So if you take short breaks throughout your day to just check in with yourself, you can do it let's say every time you use the restroom, or every time you wash your hands, because I'm sure you're doing that more than once a day, take a second to just check in with yourself. Notice any triggers notice what your brain is doing, and gently redirect where your attention is. Or you can just, again, ground yourself and take a few deep breaths or notice there is a body.

Another way to destress and another strategy to navigate stress and anxiety is gratitude practice. And I have a whole episode, I believe on gratitude practice in the very beginning of this podcast series.

So really just being able to think about five things you're grateful for every day, they can be really small, like the roof over your head, or having air conditioning or having heat or having food on the table. And it just helps for us to have those rose colored lenses on to have a more positive outlook on life and can really shift us from the negativity that we might be feeling when we have extra stress or anxiety.

Another method that people like, I'm not so big on this myself, I do journal every now and then, but not daily. But journaling and just getting your thoughts down on paper, just like getting your thoughts out, your feelings and giving them an outlet. Or you could also just vent, to record a voice memo to just get it out, or vent to a friend.

And that can ease some of the tension when you get it out of your brain and out of your system. Now remember, the beauty of this work is being able to manage your own mind and manage your own stress and anxiety. That's amazing, right?

Because you're going to be enjoying your life so much more. But also when we become mindful and we do this work, we're mindful of our thoughts and our patterns, we get to have this ripple effect that really extends beyond ourselves. So we cultivate more peace, ease and flow. Amazing, right, like so good.

And then that in and of itself will affect those around us, those who love us, or our children too, or our partners, or our friends, or our family and they can just feel that more peaceful vibe. And also we are setting a great example for our children on how to manage our emotions or how to cultivate peace, and then they can learn that too.

So it's not just alleviating our own stress and anxiety, but inspiring those around us to really adopt healthier ways of dealing with pressure. Remember that the monkey mind and the default network our natural parts of our brains and cognitive processes. But if we practice a bit of awareness, a bit of mindfulness, we can take control back of our mental state even when we're super challenged.

So practice the strategies I've talked about today. Really embrace the present moment and watch yourself as you increase your resilience and your ability to handle stress and anxiety.

To have a streamlined process to end burnout, exhaustion in 90 days or less that is going to work faster than therapy, yoga, self help books and more processes like the ones I've talked about today, really dive deep into this work to heal from the inside out and end burnout for good book a call with me to get started. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. I would love to talk to you, see where you are, what's going on with you and create a roadmap for you to end burnout. Thanks so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.