The Empowering Working Moms Podcast-Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik

Episode 93: Managing Difficult Relationships: Proactive Strategies for Working Moms

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about dysfunctional relationships with people who have narcissistic or borderline tendencies and how they must be managed with strategies and boundaries. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can protect your peace by utilizing the tools she explores in this week’s episode. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn how:

• Dysfunctional relationships can negatively impact mental health.
• To recognize unhealthy relationship patterns.
• To utilize strategies to manage dysfunctional familial relationships.
• To detect narcissistic and borderline personality disorders.

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 93. Hello there, thank you so much for tuning in today, it is springtime finally. And in the northeast, there's hope in the air, summer is around the corner. And I'm sure so many of you have awesome trips planned or have had spring break trips or are doing summer stuff, all good.

And today's episode was really inspired by the dysfunctional relationships that you probably have. I know there's no way all your relationships are 100% perfect. So I want to talk about why this happens. And I think participating in unhealthy dynamics and relationships is a major thief. And it steals peace of mind. And it steals joy and it's a huge waste of time.

So, the sooner that we can start learning about our lives, and just learning to be aware, and then with that awareness, we can have tools that we use to really create this beautiful life. Because I know so many of you probably are just go, go, go from the minute your alarm goes off, getting out the door, yelling at your kids to get ready on time, brush their teeth, then you feel guilty for yelling.

And then when you're at work, all you're doing is thinking about home stuff and your kids. When you're with your kids you want to be present. But even during their nighttime routine storytime, you're just thinking of your to do list or counting down the minutes until you get a little bit of a break before you go to bed.

And so that's what I call the daily grind dread cycle. And it's such a shame for any of us to be participating in it because we've worked so hard to enjoy this life. And really, the work I do inside my program with clients, really teaches them to undo all of this and really heal from the inside out to create a next healthier and happier generation of children. So that's our kids.

And the work we do really does impact them and have a ripple effect on those around us. And as we model better self talk, better coping skills, showing them how we practice mindfulness, for example. And we take a moment before we lose it and things like that. They see that modeled and they learn to do the same thing, which is amazing.

So this work really isn't so much about us. I do this work, so that we get to be better for our kids than our parents were for us. So let's dive into the topic today. And also, if you want to learn more about this work, don't be shy book a call with me, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me, the link is in the show notes. And we can really dive deeper into what's going on with you, see if we're a good fit to work together.

So in today's episode, I'm going to start by talking about some access to personality disorders, typically, narcissism and borderline because I think that they're very common, and those are really two disorders, and people have those traits, and these traits can be really pervasive in a lot of people.

And in fact, Type A women, perfectionists and high achievers, overachievers often have narcissistic parents. And that narcissism has its positive side because as that parent, they identify with you like you're a part of their identity, and you're perpetuating their sense of self. So they put pressure on you to produce and to do well, and even there are narcissistic cultures, which I really believe that South Asian culture has a lot of narcissistic tendencies.

And I'm gonna get into the actual disorder, so how you can learn and identify it. But yeah, there are cultures that have personality disorder traits and people who have those. And so the reason I'm talking about it today is because someone in your family probably does have major traits or the actual disorders of narcissism and or borderline.

And educating ourselves on this can really help alleviate our own suffering, and bring us peace of mind because we can categorize things. I find categorizing things or putting people in a certain box actually will help me for understanding strange and irrational behaviors, so like why they behave the way they behave when I'm not understanding it.

And remember that when people are behaving irrationally, their behavior rarely has anything to do with you, and really has everything to do with them. But engaging with them is always a waste of time. Because most of the time, they never change, they never grow. So having a real conversation with them isn't really going to go anywhere. And it's simply a waste of time and energy.

And conserving our time and energy is such a crucial part of this work. So that's why I talk about it all the time in so many episodes. Even the concept of creating boundaries, that saves you so much time and energy, like a lot of this work, is to save us that space so that we have the things that really matter.

Now, the relationships with people who have narcissistic tendencies or borderline tendencies really must be managed with strategies and boundaries. I'm going to talk to you about that to give you some tools. So let's start with narcissistic personality disorder, and really go through some criteria that the DSM-5, which is a manual used by psychiatrists and physicians and clinicians to diagnose mental disorders.

And I'm going to abbreviate NPD, narcissistic personality disorder. It is really characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, feeling full of yourself, needing admiration all the time, and really lacking empathy for others, being really self absorbed, really self centered.

So someone who's really preoccupied with themselves, their achievements, their image. They may seem overly confident, but this actually really masks a deeper vulnerability to criticism, like they're really sensitive, because they have a poor sense of self, they usually have poor self esteem, but that's really, really hidden deep inside.

And men like this are actually very charming. And they will suck you in with grandiose gestures in the beginning of dating and can really charm and knock your socks off. So beware of that if you're a single woman dating, if it's too much too soon and too fast, it probably is, and they probably have these kinds of narcissistic tendencies.

So key criteria for NPD includes a grandiose sense of self importance, preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success and unlimited power, brilliance, beauty. A belief that one is special, unique, better than other people, needing excessive admiration, having entitlement, like unrealistic expectations of people, especially favorable treatment, or automatic compliance with their expectations.

Usually taking advantage of others or manipulating other people to serve themselves, lacking empathy, really being unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others, envy of others, or even thinking that others envy them, kind of a haughty attitude. So these are the main traits.

Now I'm going to define and explain borderline personality disorder which I'll call BPD, which is really marked by intense emotional turmoil and unstable relationships. So these kinds of people, they're moody, they have rapid mood swings, they have major fear of abandonment and difficulty with self image, but it's not that obvious.

In fact, there's a book that's called "I Hate You Don't Leave Me" which is the book for dealing with people with borderline personality sorter. So think about, I hate you, but I don't want you to leave me. So if you're ever wondering what it means just go back to that line because it really does sum it up.

So they really want to avoid abandonment, either real or imagined. They have a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized alternating between extremes of idealization, but also devaluation.

They have an unstable self image or sense of self, they're impulsive and at least a couple of areas of self damage or self harm, which would be spending too much, over sexing, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating, things like that.

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self mutilating behavior, instability due to marked reactivity of their moods. So they get really angry over not much. They have feelings of emptiness, they have inappropriate intense anger or difficulty controlling their anger. So they're often angry, they're often raging. They also have transient stress related paranoid ideation. So like they're paranoid.

And by thinking about this, it will help you when you have an idea of what these two things are, and you can always Google it, or you can look at the show notes here, and you can go through that list and it can help you to think, hmm, does this person have these traits? Okay, maybe they have these traits. So then I don't have to really engage so deeply in this.

Like it's kind of a last cause to engage with a narcissist or like to try and have true intimacy with them. Or even borderline, they're so turbulent and they don't really improve with time. So you're better off just acknowledging and then deciding what kind of engagement you want to have with them.

So I'm going to give you some strategies to navigate these relationships with people who have borderline tendencies or narcissistic personality sorter tendencies. And remember, some people have the full blown disorder, which means they have got the majority of the list I listed out earlier in the episode, or they might just have tendencies. And that's fine, like, no one's all good or all bad.

But these disorders, I forgot to mention, really are thought to be more nurture the nature and they develop through childhood trauma. And once the brain is affected by that childhood trauma, often these personality disorders ensue.

And it can be really confusing because these people often do really well in their careers, they do really well at work. And then at home maybe, or with their family or with super, super close friends, they act completely different. So it can be really confusing. And you may be surrounded by this, and then think to yourself, hmm, I'm the crazy one.

But the truth is that once you can start recognizing the attributes that I talked about in this episode, you can start getting some distance and empowering yourself to decide how you want to operate with those sorts of people.

So number one is to really set boundaries and decide for yourself, like what is acceptable for you, and what isn't. So if you have someone who, let's say is in your family, and they throw tantrums, or they make you uncomfortable, you could, let's say go to a family holiday. And then you don't have to tell them your boundary.

But in your mind, you could say okay, well, if they have a tantrum, I will go to my room, or if they have a tantrum, I will leave early, like I'm not going to stay. And that way you have your safety mechanism for yourself amidst any chaos.

Another strategy is really to maintain your own mental health and take care of yourself, get good sleep, really make sure that you're in not your worst self when dealing with these kinds of people. Meaning that you're not exhausted, that you're not depleted. And you can actually be in an okay position to manage the nonsense maybe that they will throw your way.

Developing friends that you choose that are really healthy and wonderful and supportive that you can turn to that can validate some of these things that when maybe somebody in your family acts strangely, you can call a friend, and they can validate for you that yeah, that is really ridiculous.

As opposed to when you're in your family, especially your parents, your siblings, it's really hard to see straight because you've been with them for so long, you're in certain patterns with them of your own. And so sometimes it's really helpful just to have an outside resource. And that could be a friend, that could be a therapist, that could be a coach, but it's always useful to have another set of eyes and ears on things.

And really educating yourself and understanding these disorders so that you can really give yourself some grace and understand what is happening. And focusing on what you can control which is yourself, and how much time and energy you want to engage with certain people, especially with your family it can always be tricky, just figuring out physical distance. Or maybe instead of staying at your mom and dad's house for 10 days, you stay for three days, things like that.

Learning how to de escalate things like lowering your voice or walking away or just not engaging in war with these people, with sparring with them because it's just a waste of time. And really learning to be your own support system so you're not turning to these kinds of people who really can't give you what you're looking for.

And another strategy I'll give you is called gray rocking which is a strategy that's used to interact with people who have personality disorders or manipulative or abusive, like narcissistic and borderline. And gray rock really suggest becoming uninteresting, unresponsive, like a dull gray rock. This is to avoid giving the manipulative person any emotional response or engagement.

So especially narcissists, if you don't respond, you don't react, you're not giving them a big emotion, they're not satisfied. So there's like not a whole lot they can do. And gray rocking is when you make yourself really emotionally nonreactive, make yourself really boring, you offer minimal responses, you withhold any engaging reactions or emotions that the manipulative person could use against you or to fuel their behavior.

And the goal is really to make the manipulator lose interest in you because they're not going to get the emotional response that they seek. And this is really effective with people who thrive on creating drama, or they really want to elicit a strong emotional response from other people.

It's also recommended for dealing with anyone who has narcissistic traits. And it's good in situations where engaging in a normal way just doesn't help and it's a good kind of last resort.

So, how you go about doing this really minimal responses, providing one word answers or non committal responses, like hmm, I see, or okay. Avoid giving detailed answers or showing emotional reactions. Neutral topics like mundane neutral things, like the weather, TV, routine tasks. Avoid sharing personal information, don't overshare and don't share personal information, feelings, thoughts, or anything really about you to give them ammo against you.

And really being nonreactive in your demeanor. So really controlling your body language, your voice, being monotone and avoid showing signs of agitation or distress. And really disengage like excusing yourself from interactions if you feel like things are escalating or you're uncomfortable, and consistency with using this method so that they realize that they really can't get you to engage at all.

So this is kind of a weird one, I don't really do gray rocking so much. I'm pretty big on boundaries and expectations like adjusting, which is actually another tool, I will mention, adjusting your expectations of people who have these characteristics, realizing that they're not going to be able to provide for you in the way that you want that they're not going to be able to have true intimacy and really support you.

So adjusting that expectation and making peace with that, I think is the first step and then seeing how much you want to engage with them. And it's always tough with family because I know many of us like we don't want to cut off our family members. So just figuring out how to operate and navigate within this scenario.

But with gray rocking, it's really good with super manipulative and abusive people. But it's good to run it by a therapist or a coach and just get somebody else's opinion on it, because it is kind of an extreme way of responding. And definitely not my first choice, I would say it's kind of a last ditch resort. And if you find like gray rocking is causing you distress, then just don't use that. But I'm just giving it to you as an option today.

So that's it. Those are the personality disorders and traits and solutions and tools you can use. And I really hope that you take note of this episode, and maybe even make some notes on your notes app in your phone that you could go back to.

And you'll find it comforting when you can identify these traits and people who are close to you and act accordingly to protect your mental space, time and energy.

And as you do that, you're gonna find you're gonna have more peace of mind, more energy, and really enjoy this life and not get sucked into drama, not get sucked into other people's unhappiness. Because you've worked so hard to build this life and you want to be creating a happier and healthier life for your kids.

Because these personality disorders, they're not healthy for our kids either, even to over expose them to our family members who act like this, right? So we don't want to engage in this. We don't want to model it.

And this is how we do this work and get healthier for them so that they get to be even healthier than we are when they grow up. And so that concludes today's episode. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 92: Embrace the Journey: Lessons for Busy Moms from a Working Physician

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the importance of taking the time to appreciate the day-to-day, regular, mundane moments in your life in order to truly cultivate  more presence and peace. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how soaking in your surroundings can help you keep yourself grounded and be more content with life. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn how to:

• Manage the common struggle of working mothers to stay present amidst their busy schedules.
• Be present and enjoy life.
• Embrace life as a journey and not just a series of achievements or goals.

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 92. Hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today to today's podcast episode of empowering working moms. And hopefully the weather is warming up near you. I know finally the sun is shining here. It was raining like crazy yesterday.

It has been an interesting week or so, maybe 10 days for me. My old au pair left, I was awaiting my new au pair, in between childcare, trying to work. And then I ended up having to move up carpal tunnel surgery. And that was going to be literally like the second day my new au pair was here. And then driving with her to make sure that she's safe to drive my kids. It's been pretty logistically crazy.

And that's what really inspired today's episode. Because really, so many times when we're at work, we're just obsessing over our to do lists, getting everything done, vacuuming with the Dyson, the crumbs, or signing our kids up for soccer. And then when we're at home, we're thinking about emails that we need to answer.

Or if you're a physician, you might have charts pending that you need to finish piling up and a backlog. And you end up just not being present. You're not present at home because you're thinking about work. You're not present at work, because you're thinking about home. And you're just missing out and you're stuck in this daily grind dread trap.

And this really happens because you're just so busy. And you're busy trying to keep up with everything in your life. And then you just end up falling behind and feeling like you're not doing good enough of a job. And then life is just really passing you by.

And so, this whole logistical the circumstances that were super annoying in these past 10 days, I just had so much to do, my to do list was really long. And well, I don't make to do lists. But you know what I mean, I had a lot to do.

And it was just really hectic. And so it really got me thinking about the fact that life is now, like it's happening right now. And the regular moments of our day to day lives are really what make it up. And yes, there are beautiful trips. There are memories we make that are really special, like the holidays.

But besides those, we've got our day to day life that we are lucky to wake up and be alive. And I say this because as a physician, I have seen so many elderly folks, and they're really sick. And they just wish they had more time and they're towards the end of their lives. And it's tough. So while we're here and we're still young, we get to decide what kind of life we want to live.

And that means that we learn to be present for the now and enjoy the journey. And I bring up this concept of the journey because it really is all about this journey. Life is a process. It's never going to be perfect.

And it's all about just being here. And when things go wrong, learning the lessons and being there with the turbulence, knowing that it's going to end and then you come out on the other side. And you are all good. You're resilient.

And I'm sure if you're listening to me and you're thinking, What the heck is she talking about? Like, I don't believe a word of this. I know you can reflect and think of times where you have bounced back and you were so strong.

Because you are a kick ass female and you work you are a mom and we are tough, we are so much tougher and stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So back to the journey. It's really about being here, being present, enjoying the now, and not sweating what's to come.

Because a lot of the time, what's to come isn't as bad as we assume. And we sit there worrying because we want to troubleshoot, we want to problem solve, we want to fix. And it's just a waste of time and energy. So then we drain ourselves but on top of the waste of time and energy, you end up missing out on what's right in front of you.

And so I'll give an example of this actually, this was happening today. So I got my new au pair and we always do a lot of test driving. I do the drive with my kids, getting on and off a kind of like a mini highway where I live, getting on and off, dropping my kids off, figuring out that route, watching are you putting your turn signal on, all those things.

Anyway. So, I go through that. This is my second time doing this with my new au pair. And I feel stressed a little bit because of course, I'm very protective of who drives my kids. They are young children, and they're my most precious cargo. And of course, we're all as mothers, right? We're not just let anyone drive our kids.

So it ends up making me always feel a little stressed and anxious. Right. So then I ended up getting this retired police officer to do a test drive and lesson test him out and give an objective assessment on how he thinks the au pair drives. And that usually puts my mind at ease, and helps to teach any driving skills that maybe they need some brushing up on.

So today, I went to an Easter egg hunt with my kids while my au pair was getting the lesson. And then after the Easter egg hunt, I took them to frozen yogurt. And that's all to say that during frozen yogurt, I knew that her driving lesson was coming to an end soon.

And I could find my mind wandering and thinking about oh, what is the driving teacher gonna say, is he going to say she's a good driver, is he gonna say she's not good, am I going to have to go in to re- all these things just, I could feel my brain going down that path.

And as my brain was going down that path, because I do this work, I'm able to notice that. So I pulled myself back into the present moment, I looked at both of my kids, because they're so cute. And they were enjoying their frozen yogurt so much. And I looked at each one of them.

And I thought this time is not coming back. And this is a really special time, the time that I get to take them for frozen yogurt. And some of the stuff just brings me to tears, the regular daily stuff, because here's the thing, and I'm not preaching about this, it's really the truth like. These are our lives people.

Like taking our kids to frozen yogurt, that's just a regular thing to do. But you know what, 20 years from now, when they are off at college, or they don't live with us anymore, we're going to be dying to spend time with them.

And they may not want anything to do with us. I believe it's sooner than that, actually, that people say that they're just not hanging out with us. Maybe in middle school. I don't know, my kids are young.

But that's it, watching them enjoy their frozen yogurt that mundane, boring, it's not so boring, though, just regular moment, that's what we get to soak in. That's what we get to be grateful for.

That's what we get to really be present for instead of sitting there and worrying about what the report is going to be about the au pair driving. Because regardless of the outcome of that report, I would figure it out, you would figure it out, we'd be fine no matter what, right?

So why bother worrying about that and missing out on the magic of the ice cream, or the frozen yogurt and the look on the kid's face, or my daughter has chocolate ice cream all over her lips. It's just really cute and adorable. And the enjoyment that my son shows. And I look at him. And I look at both of them. And I remember when they were newborns, and I just cannot believe how quickly time has flown by.

So just being grateful, being present, being here and now. Pulling yourself to the present moment by simply noticing what's happening around you, noticing what's happening right in front of you, and pulling yourself there instead of letting your mind wander.

Because believe me, you got this, whatever challenges come your way, you're going to be able to deal with it no matter what. And so that's the journey, the journey is here now.

Which also brings me to pointing out that we often are so used to going from one thing to the next and checking off one box, then getting to the next and the next. And we're always on to the next thing. And then we're sitting there thinking yeah, I'll be happy and satisfied when. I will be happy when I go on this vacation, I will be happy when my divorce is final, I will be happy when I got the perfect job.

And that's just not the case. The happiness is now. The happiness is appreciating all the beauty for what it is while it's happening. As opposed to thinking that a circumstance something that happens is going to solve all your problems.

It's not, and the sooner that we can realize that we are in control of our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own experience of life, this journey, the more empowering that is and that's how we end up enjoying our lives and being happy.

Okay, so in a world obsessed with outcomes and goals and the end game, it's so easy to overlook what's happening, where the real magic is happening, where we learn and we grow. And that is so beautiful, and the destination, where we're heading, which is really we're all heading to death, right? We're all gonna die someday. So we might as well just enjoy the time that we have.

And I know you might think that's easier said than done. But I will tell you that even in my darkest hours, and the most difficult difficult times in my life, especially in the beginning of COVID I would say from 2020 to 2022.

Even when I was pregnant with my daughter from 2020 to 2021, I would enjoy the fresh air outside and soak in my surroundings to keep myself happy, balanced, sane, whatever you want to call it. Even when I was struggling big time in my marriage and things like that. It was a very hard time.

But by being present, and really focusing on where I was at the moment, that is what allowed me to be well during a very turbulent time. So think about this. How often are we rushing through our days, we're just checking off the stuff on our to do list without really experiencing our life. And we're taking for granted the journey.

And instead, we can allow ourselves to be present and really savor the regular parts of life and find gratitude every single day. And gratitude is so important in just helping ourselves have a lens that is a little bit more rose colored.

And as we realize that we don't have to take life so seriously, we don't have to be so intense about everything, we can have a lot more fun, we can be more adaptable, we can be more flexible, we can be resilient. And this really helps build our sense of self and balance and stability.

And by really just taking hold of each day and appreciating it and taking things in your stride. And the thing is, there are always going to be curveballs that get thrown our way. A client was telling me how she was supposed to go to a party and then her spouse who's also a physician had to stay late at work. And then she had to do all this juggling, and eventually she got there.

But the point is that when those things happen, right, that's all part of the course, we make all these plans and we've got to learn to roll with the punches and be flexible and not freak out when things change when plans change, because that is life.

And we get to realize that sweating the small stuff, it doesn't really matter. And it is a waste of time. So I would just encourage you, I know you're ambitious. I know you're a go getter, I know you're getting stuff done left and right.

But I would really encourage you to slow down, stop and really soak in moments with your kids, holding your spouse's hand, the hugs, bedtime, whatever you enjoy. Looking at them while they're enjoying something, seeing the magic of whatever it is, kids get really excited about the tooth fairy or all these things.

And just being there. We're not going to remember half of the stuff that goes on anyway. But I know for me when I'm dying, I am going to look back and know that I did the best I could and I did my best to connect and be there with the people who mattered to me the most. And I highly encourage you to do the same.

Because that's what this is all about. It's our journey, learning to be present and really letting go of toxic stuff, toxic dynamics, we let go of our worries, we don't have to worry so much. It's just not worth it. And we can learn to have presence and connection and truly enjoy our lives.

So if you really want to dive deeper into this work and heal yourself from the inside out to truly find peace, happiness, joy in your life, and therefore we're going to create a happier and healthier next generation of kids.

Book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 91: Unpacking the 'Not Good Enough' Syndrome: A Guide for Ambitious Women

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the concept of not feeling good enough, which is an issue that many women struggle with. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can combat this type of mindset in order to create a more peaceful and joyful life. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn about:

• how perfectionism hurts us  
• workplace dynamics and gender roles   
• fear of failure and its impact
• the deep-rooted 'Not Good Enough' Story
• shifting perspectives and healing

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 91. Welcome. Hello, how are you? I hope you are doing well today. I want to welcome you to today's podcast episode for all of you moms in demanding careers.

You've worked so hard to build this incredible life for yourself. And you probably are wishing that you didn't feel not enough or you feel the mom guilt, or you have impostor syndrome. And you don't want to have to be worrying about the next thing all the time.

And the problem is that most people are putting the needs of others in front of themselves or making decisions based off what other people think. All the hard work that you're doing is based on other people's needs more than your own, you're people pleasing. Or you don't realize that we can't control other people's opinions of ourselves, or what they're thinking. It's simply a waste of time and energy.

So how do you find peace of mind and joy? You can try therapy, yoga, self help books. But the question is, how can you find the right therapist or even get to and from the yoga studio, you probably don't have enough time.

So you can actually cultivate peace of mind with the practices that I talk about because of the ease, and there's just not a whole lot of time and energy required. And when most people think about making changes, they think that it takes a ton of time, or that you have to sit down for hours and hours to meditate to get peace of mind.

Even though with the methods I'm talking about today, you don't have to do that. And you can totally learn to be present, feel peaceful, be connected. Why? Because I have streamlined implementable processes. So if you're wondering how you find peace of mind, balance, presence, let me show you in this episode.

Today, I'm going to talk about the concept of not being enough or good enough. And I will tell you that you are enough, you are good enough. And Type A women, they hold themselves to perfect standards, which is totally impossible and only is going to lead us to being unhappy.

And we're conditioned to do this at such a young age where we are trying to impress our teachers, we're people pleasing when we're really little. We're trying to get 100% on tests or getting straight A's in school. You get a little bit older, it's competitive. You apply to college, then maybe graduate school like medical school.

In fact, I've actually seen that, apparently, I don't know this personally. But I've been told that it is worse to apply to private high schools than it even is college undergrad applications, which is crazy to me. And grades, test scores. That's a great way to get people spots in competitive universities, it's difficult to figure out without quantifying, but honestly, this really has created a society that expects perfection.

And don't get me started on medical malpractice lawsuits. Because physicians are human beings, they're going to make mistakes, and yet they're expected to be perfect all the time.

So some of the things that really contribute to our feelings of not enoughness is the high expectations that we place on ourselves, we're perfectionists. Type A people are just high achieving, competitive, and they set a standard for themselves that really is tough to maintain. And when they're not perfect, this leads to feelings of failure, which really isn't fun.

And women in particular might feel extra pressure to not just succeed in their careers but also meet society's expectations of their personal lives, meaning being married, having kids, doing all the stuff at home, doing the cooking, doing the cleaning.

Even in workplace dynamics, women often face challenges in the workplace as in gender bias, and often are given leadership positions not as soon as men. And these challenges make it harder for women to feel validated in their achievements.

Furthermore, you have internalized gender roles. Even as society evolves, women feel like they need to prioritize caregiving and relationships over personal achievement or maybe that's expected. And this can really lead to internal conflict and feeling inadequate at work.

So this brings me to, if you're always trying to be perfect, then really nothing you ever do is good enough and that feels bad. And the not good enough story and that narrative can be really deep from our childhood, or even other events.

And though others might look at me as a success, for example, so many times in my past I felt less than or not good enough. And I still struggle with that story, I have to keep myself in check, I got to do the work to make sure that I don't play into it all the time. So through working on myself, and really teaching these tools, I don't give that story nearly as much airtime as I used to, but it still comes up.

And I find the not good enough dagger is really stabbing, I get triggered pretty badly. And usually, when I feel triggered, it's a moment to examine what's really going on. And it helps me to figure out my patterns and therefore disrupt them.

And that's really how we start to ditch perpetuating generational trauma, by being aware of our own stories, being aware of our narratives, and making an active decision if we're going to play into them or not.

Because as we learn to not play into the bad narratives, the narratives that hurt us, we help to create a healthier next generation. That's really why we do this work. And I find my clients struggling with the same issues.

And when you have that not good enough story. You transpose it onto your life, and you start believing I am not a good enough of a mother, I am not good enough of a wife, I'm not good enough of a professional, I'm not good enough of a doctor, I'm not good enough of a lawyer, I'm not good enough of a friend, I'm not good enough of a community member, I'm not good enough of a neighbor.

And it is really a terrible lens with which to see yourself. So what do we do with this not enough syndrome? First, we get to see it for what it is, that it's just a story. It's just a narrative, it's just a mode our brain likes to operate under. And then we can get distance from it. When we see it and observe it, we don't have to play into it as much. So we notice it. And then we can neutralize it.

And if you have never heard this from me before, check out my episode on the three N method during which I talk about how to deal with any negative thought or feeling. And so you notice it, you neutralize it, you get your distance from it.

And then actually, the third step is new. You get to create new stories in any given moment, like I am enough, I am good enough, and start to see yourself at your core, like your core self, knowing that you are worthy no matter what, you are lovable no matter what. It's enough.

And asking ourselves, when it comes to not being good enough. What are we doing with our identity? Are we tying our identity to our achievements? Are we tying our identity to our net worth? Are you tying your identity to your career? Or what else might you be tying your identity to that maybe isn't helpful? And if so, we can acknowledge this, that that's our ego.

And really, attaching ourselves to our ego, these external kinds of things, it really only increases our suffering. And though it sounds dramatic, human suffering is universal. And this is a tenant in Buddhism. And it's just good to know because we will often create suffering in our lives without even realizing we're doing it.

So the more we can detach from the not enough story, the more we can detach from these concepts, the more we can really be one with our inner being, our core, our soul, whatever you want to call it, but really get in touch with ourselves beyond our egos. Not the ego of like, I think I'm great. The ego is the part of ourselves that really attach ourselves to external things, external achievements, external validation.

So the more we can detach ourselves from that ego, the more we can heal ourselves. And the more we do that, then we really cultivate inner peace, happiness. And what happens then? Well, we live happily ever after. Sort of, because there's always stuff to deal with.

And that's why it's so important to have these tools in your toolbox to work on, to deal with all of the adversity that will come your way. There are always challenges in life that may come up, right. So as we heal ourselves, we find peace and happiness and then it bleeds on to our kids, our spouses, our friends, our families, creating a happier and healthier family, a happier and healthier next generation, and truly a happier and healthier world.

And that's why putting some thought into this life is so important, not just to decrease our suffering, but really to create a better place in this world and really have a better next generation.

And if you want to dive deeper into this work, please check out my website stresscleansemd.com, and learn more about what I do. And if you are really feeling brave, book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me to see if we are a good fit to work together.

If you're ready to take that action to step into the best chapter of your life yet, then let's do it. Find out if we're a good fit to work together. Thank you so much for tuning in. And I will talk to you next week.

Episode 90: The Ultimate Guide to Weight Loss: Exercise Tips That Work

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the vital topic of exercise and the vast benefits it can bring to your life. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can implement strategies for working out in a way that is manageable and realistic. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• strategies you haven’t heard of before to create a consistent exercise routine
• how to create a sustainable flexible work out schedule
• the scientific and medical benefits of working out

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 90. Hello. Welcome to this week's episode of the empowering working moms podcast-real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, that is me. I am a board certified internal medicine physician, but most importantly, the mother of two beautiful children and motherhood changed everything for me.

And that's really what brought me to doing the deep work that I did to get here and then help others to do the same to really heal and do the work, heal from the inside out to create another generation that will be happier, healthier, our next generation, our kids that hopefully won't have to do as much healing because of this work.

So this work that we're doing here, inside overcome burnout for good is so much more than just ditching burnout and exhaustion, which it does, but truly having a ripple effect with our families.

So many of my clients have better marriages and a better connection with their kids. And this ripples out, right, but also it will have a generational ripple effect, too.

So today, I'm going to talk about the follow up to last week's episode on healthy eating nutrition stuff. So now I'm going to talk about working out. So I'm really going to teach you about how to finally get that workout routine under your belt. Because I myself hated exercising for the majority of my life. And then really, since my son was born, I've had a consistent workout routine for almost six years, even though most of my life I hated it.

And what most people do is really they're following society's standard of success personally and in their career, instead of really focusing on what would make them happy, or you're putting the needs of others above your own, putting yourself last. And all the hard work you're doing is based on other people.

And here's what happens if you're doing that. You're feeling exhausted, depleted, you're giving way too much at work and at home, nothing to yourself, you're in survival mode, and really just not doing what you want to be doing. Like working out, for example.

And there are so many ways to figure out how to get exercise going. But I'm going to give you my best way in this episode, I don't want to overwhelm you, so that you're finally getting time yourself to work out. So you have more joy more presents, you're gonna get the mental health benefits, peace of mind, and really feel better.

So before I get into strategies and how you're going to get more exercise into your life, I want to talk about the benefits of exercising, which includes increasing longevity, really healthy aging, because exercise is associated with a decrease in mortality.

So consistent exercise shows an increased lifespan and a lower risk of dying from age related diseases, which is awesome, right? That's what we want. And it really promotes healthy aging by maintaining physical function and really delaying the onset of chronic diseases.

And in fact, large observational studies suggest that regular exercise reduces risk of disease specific mortalities for most people, men and women, a wide variety of age ranges. And this is really seen across the board, different ethnicities, different income levels, different geographic settings, it is totally the same where physical activity is associated with lower risk of mortality.

So if that's not a reason to get your butt in the gym and exercising, I don't know what it is. Also exercise enhances muscle strength and endurance because working out stimulates muscle protein synthesis, so creating proteins, leading to more muscle strength and endurance which is so important for just daily living as you get older.

It also boosts our immune system. So it really helps us to make it easier to fight off an infection when we get sick. It's helpful in weight management, really burning calories and helps get your metabolic rate higher which helps with weight maintenance and weight loss.

Physical activity as you know probably releases endorphins, which are really feel good hormones and this helps our mental health So this reduces feelings of anxiety and depression while really boosting overall mood. And I will say, so my number one reasons for working out are improving my mental health. If I'm having a bad day and I work out, I just feel better after.

I find even that often I'm on my peloton, and when I'm on my peloton, my breath is quick. And I really have to focus on my breath to keep myself going. And it's almost like a meditation while I'm working out. And working up a sweat and getting my heart rate going, I just feel better.

And then the number two reason I personally exercise is for boosting confidence. I just feel more confident if I work out, I feel better about my body, I just feel good.

And then of course, the third reason is just all of the health reasons that I'm getting into now, which I'm going to add another one, it enhances cognitive function, because you're going to have better blood flow to your brain when you're exercising, you're opening up your blood flow in general, you're getting your heart pumping better. And you're going to help your aging process, decreasing cognitive decline.

Exercising also regulates blood sugar levels, which is awesome because it helps in regulating insulin. So it reduces insulin resistance, because you get insulin resistance in diabetes. Helps in glucose metabolism. So just sugar metabolism, which reduces the risk of type two diabetes.

And even if you're managing diabetes that you already have. Now, a lot of genetic factors play into this kind of stuff. But we can do things in our power, like working out to help change this. It also strengthens bones and joints.

And so when you're doing weight bearing exercises, even as simple as walking on the treadmill, where you got your bone on bone going. Not if you've got bad osteoarthritis of your knees, but that kind of training helps to increase bone density in men and women and really helps reduce osteoporosis, which is a condition that creates brittle bones and osteoporosis creates more fractures. And then that's a worsening mortality for elderly folks.

So things you can do to strengthen your bones and prevent osteoporosis are walking, running, lifting weights sometimes, depending on how much your joints are working on that. Not things like swimming, or even biking.

Another thing that exercise does is it improves your sleep quality, because regular physical activity is just going to tire you out, deepen your sleep, have you fall asleep better. And also, exercise improves cardiovascular health because regular physical activity strengthens the heart, therefore reducing blood pressure, improving circulation, like I mentioned in preventing cognitive decline, and thereby decreasing risk of cardiovascular disease.

Now, many studies have been done showing a strong inverse relationship between exercise and the risk of coronary artery disease. So the more you exercise, the less risk you have of heart disease, heart attacks, cardiovascular events, all that stuff that's pretty freakin scary, right?

And I'm just gonna get a little technical and medical in case you're interested. I think it's interesting, of course, because I'm a physician. But just so you know that we're not making this stuff up. Aerobic training induces beneficial effects on lipoproteins.

So lipoproteins means your LDL and your HDL, so it's going to increase your good cholesterol, decrease your bad cholesterol. And that's how you can help your cholesterol levels, which we know we want to maintain an LDL of around, let's say 100.

So physical activity is also associated with lower levels of inflammation. So if we did blood work on you and your CRP, which is an indicator of inflammation, you can look at that. And if you work out regularly, and you're healthy, probably that would be lower within normal limits, which is awesome. That means the body is less stressed. And you're also going to have just general well being, healthy body, all that stuff.

So just think about all of those effects and benefits that working out can have. Moving our bodies is so important. And if you think about this, what's happened to modern day is we've got sedentary jobs, we've got busy, hectic lives.

But naturally we are meant to walk around, right. Cars are all artificial constructs. But back in the day, cavemen were hunting and gathering foods. So they were out all day and that was their form of exercising. So now we have to be mindful of doing that, basically simulating. So if we simulate that, we're going to be forcing ourselves to exercise.

So you might ask, what do I know about this? And how am I coming to you today with a little bit of an off, beaten approach on exercise? So I mentioned this on last week's episode. But essentially, I was overweight as a child, probably from around 10 to 13. And then my weight fluctuated for a while until I hit my 20s.

And even in my 20s, I watched what I ate, I watched my diet, and I was able to maintain a healthy body weight, but I really never had a consistent workout routine. And funnily enough, when I was in residency, I would get on health kicks, and I would exercise but it would never last, right.

And then what ended up happening was, I really had to examine my life after my son was born, I just was so overloaded working as a full time physician. And then my most important work, my most important job is being a mother and realizing that being an anxious mess all the time just isn't an okay atmosphere for a child to grow up in.

So I started doing all the self care things, including exercise. And as I really stuck to it, and I found that it really helped my mental health, I just did it. And that was it. But what I found was making that commitment to exercise on a regular basis, it eventually became my identity.

So when you're deciding to exercise, you really have to see yourself holistically and see yourself as a healthy person, whether you are or whether you aren't. I'm healthy, I work out, and that's just what I do. So when you don't work out, that feels weird, not the other way around, right.

So when you know that I'm just a person who works out, that's just who I am. That's what you say to yourself, because the thoughts that we feed ourselves truly create our reality. So you get to embody the identity and speak to yourself in a way, that means I workout regularly. Okay, so it's an identity shift more than anything. That is the critical, crucial piece in this is embodying the identity of a person who's healthy of a person that works out.

Now some generalized principles on this, and then I'm going to give you really specific tools and tricks and tips to work out. The generalized things you can do is really, to ditch the all or nothing mentality. I think people, they have these crazy lofty goals, they go from not working out at all. And then some of my clients will even come to me telling me, hey, I want to work out for an hour a day, four days a week. And I say to them, that's really a lot to do when you're starting with zero. And it's just too much.

I mean, if you can do it, you can do it great. But I feel like when we set ourselves up for failure, we get discouraged. And then we're much less likely to actually carry out our goal. So ditching the all or nothing mentality and really embodying the something is better than nothing. So believe me, I'm human, you know, I'm definitely not perfect.

And on the days when I don't want to exercise, and I'm really sluggish, and I just don't feel like it, I will force myself to get on my peloton for 15 minutes or do some other workout for a really short period of time. And what I find is that after the workout, I feel better, and I'm proud of myself for doing something, because something is always better than nothing.

And there's always a compound effect of this kind of stuff over time, over months, over years, where your 80 year old self will thank you for doing the workout. And if all else fails, just take a five minute walk outside or run up and down the stairs for five minutes. That's all you have to do. Just a little bit is truly better than nothing.

And remembering with the identity piece, why you're doing the workout. So for me, I know I'm gonna feel better if I exercise and the aftermath of working out is helpful for me just to get going on days when I don't want to.

And really thinking about your longevity, your long term health goals and knowing that exercise is a part of that plan.

Now in terms of crafting routines, you really want to have some flexibility around this. It depends on your personality type, but I find the more rigid I am with my routine, the less I want to do it. So I started out exercising two to three days a week. Then it went from three to four days a week. Now it's at about four to five days a week, sometimes even six. Because the less pressure I put on myself the better I personally do.

So have some goals for yourself. You can start with one to two days a week for literally five to 10 minutes for those two times. You don't have to start with a half hour or 40 minutes. Something is always better than nothing. And you want to make it realistic and doable.

So one great thing you can do is you wear your workout clothes when you're feeling like working out so that you're going to work out. I have never put on workout clothes and not worked out. Maybe once in several years, it just doesn't happen.

So that's one thing, two is to do something at home. Having a gym membership is great, but it's a production, going to the gym, doing your routine and then driving home depending on how far it is. And the harder you make it for yourself, the less likely you are to do it. So you want to really get rid of any barriers between you and working out.

Have a few things that you find not totally terrible, not totally boring, and do those workout options. For me that really is either a workout video through my peloton app or getting on an actual bike, I find those doable, helpful.

And even actually, I was a member at this gym called lifetime and they had childcare so I could drop my kids off on the weekends. And I would go do my workout. And it was almost like a little ritual that we would all do. And it was nice because afterwards, my kids and I would go get food.

So you can find all kinds of ways to make it more appealing for you. Now, if you're lacking time or you're lacking motivation, the time lacking part, I think really start small, like five to 10 minutes, even a couple days, you don't have to do it every day. And that's it, you'll see that you can do it if it's a small goal. And then once you get a little bit of momentum, you will be able to find time and increase your time to do that.

Now motivation wise, it's always helpful to have an accountability partner or maybe someone that you could go on a run with or go on a walk with, be it your partner or a friend. That can be really helpful to keep people active.

Some other easy to follow tips are if you're a person who really lives by your calendar, schedule your workouts in. Involve your family, maybe all of you can go on a walk or bike ride or run. That makes it more fun, doable. And that way you don't even feel like you're taking away time from your kids.

My peloton is actually in my basement, which is also the children's toy area and they love going down there to play with their toys. So when I go downstairs to do my peloton workout, I can watch my kids at the same time and they're having fun. So that's all good.

Incorporating physical activity into daily tasks. Maybe even start as small as taking the stairs at work. Parking far away as long as it's not winter and icy to get in more steps. Embracing outdoor activities like a hike. Rest when you need, create some variety in workouts.

Also people love joining gyms and going to the workout classes, that can be a really fun way to make friends and create a sense of community. Create like a five minute workout rule if you're going to force yourself to work out for five minutes, and then after five minutes, you're not feeling it, you can stop.

You can pair it with TV shows. Let's say I know Gretchen Rubin on her podcast happier she does it with her sister and her sister's a type one diabetic has to exercise. So her sister only lets herself watch The Real Housewives if she's on the treadmill. Otherwise, she's not allowed to watch it. So her incentive is to have that paired activity like her guilty pleasure, like the Real Housewives. And she will only do that when she's exercising.

Find your optimal time to work out when it works for you. For some people, that's first thing in the morning. For me, it tends to be in the afternoon or early evening after I'm done with work. But before it's time to spend time with my children, that is my optimal time. First thing in the morning for me doesn't work.

It's different for everyone, but really figure out a time that you can stick with. And maybe you could even depending on what time you have, you could do five minutes in the morning and then 10 minutes at work, take a walk. If you've got a lunch break or something at work, you can do that. And even if you can't make time to work out or go to the gym, but you set an intention to exercise.

You could do something small like work with resistance bands, you could do some body work where you're doing, let's say core exercises, stretching, yoga, a quick walk. And also one of the most important things in all this is to really keep a positive mindset and congratulate yourself.

Be proud of yourself when you complete a workout. That is awesome because you're doing awesome just to do a little bit of it. And truly finally, embrace consistency over perfectionism. It's so important to be consistent over weeks, months, years.

And it feels so good to really look back and think about all the time you've been working out. Because if you have a consistent routine you are going to see, and especially eventually when you're older, feel the benefits of all of the things I mentioned in the beginning of the episode.

Now, I want you to remember that your journey is unique to you. Working out is really not just for weight loss and having a fit body, which that's part of it. And it also helps to maintain body weight. But it's really more about your identity, how you feel.

And finding what works for you, having flexibility and just having compassion for yourself when you're trying to make these changes. And have fun. It's so important to not be so intense and take life so seriously, because we are really good at that as moms in demanding careers.

And if you find yourself having this successful career that you're proud of, but you're feeling guilty almost every day because you're just not showing up for your family or even for yourself in the way that you want.

Or you're really weighed down by stress and anxiety every day because every hour bleeds next at work and the next thing you know it's time to go home do more work and there's always more work piling up or a mess to clean in the kitchen, lots of crumbs. Maybe you have a Dyson vacuum.

But you find yourself just working your tail off and somehow your life just isn't where you want it to be. And you've probably tried therapy or counseling, it helped for a bit, you're not feeling better. Or you've tried grocery delivery apps to have better time management skills. You've downloaded meditation apps and you just don't have the time to meditate.

And you still find yourself just depleted exhausted, burning out, then really book a call with me, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. The link is in the show notes. Talk to me because I've helped so many moms just like you. Call me to see if we are a fit to work together and to see if I can help you too. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 89: Mastering Healthy Eating and Diet Strategies for Lifelong Wellness, Weight Loss, and Maintenance

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how you can cultivate a way of life that is sustainable and how to lose or maintain your weight without feeling restricted. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about three tips to help you navigate healthy eating habits that are realistic and obtainable. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The five mistakes most people make when "dieting."
• To navigate nutrition in the sustainable way.
• How healthy eating can be a way of life that is flexible and maintainable.

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 89. Well, hello there, welcome to the empowering working moms podcast. I am so glad to have you here listening with me today,

I want to talk about something that is like a pretty hot topic, I think amongst working moms, which is nutrition and healthy eating habits if you want to lose weight or maintain your weight, and it just gets harder as we get older.

So a lot of people think that by like dieting, and following strict diets, that's the best way to lose weight. But if that were true, then everyone who's on a diet would be losing weight. And we just know that's not the case. Sometimes you can watch what you eat, and you feel like the scale isn't moving.

So a lot of mistakes that people make with dieting is that they have like an all or nothing attitude, they maybe follow something really strict, and then they throw their hands up in the air about the diet. They treat it as like super black and white or good or bad. Certain foods or being really rigid, which I think can be really overwhelming and exasperate the issue.

And then oftentimes, a lot of people, I think don't take into account liquids, or even alcohol is high in calories, including a glass of wine with dinner, let's say.

And so these are some of the mistakes that people make when they're trying to lose weight or maintain their weight. And really, the solution to this is learning to cultivate and embody a way of life that is sustainable and doable. The majority of the time, you don't have to be perfect by any means. But just something that you can practice about 75% of the time.

And with that you can most certainly maintain your weight. And I say this as somebody, who I was an overweight child, and I was probably overweight by about 30 pounds in middle school, and I yo yo dieted as a teenager, and my weight really fluctuated, probably until I hit medical school.

And then I really started learning more about nutrition and my body and how to eat properly and was able to live that way more than just following diets and restricting for a short period of time. And I would say I've maintained relatively the same weight for about maybe like 20 years now.

So I want to share with you everything that I've learned. And with my medical background and my own personal experience, I'm going to teach you today about how to really maintain your weight, or even lose weight without totally feeling restricted, and in a more manageable, sustainable way.

So I'm going to talk about three of my favorite ways of eating. And I'll be honest with you that I play around with all three of these. And I don't necessarily do one all the time. I more or less follow one or three of these methods several days a week. And then often on the weekends on Saturdays or Sundays or if I'm going out to eat, I indulge more.

So the first way of life that you can do to lose weight or to maintain your weight. Or also just if you go on vacation, or you have a few days where you're eating and drinking poorly. And you want to do a reset, one of the best things to do is an intermittent fast. So this is really just really an idea of getting your body into fasting.

And so the best way to do this is to fast for 16 hours and then eat during an eight hour window. So you can do this for let's say five days. And then for a couple days, you don't necessarily have to follow this. So you can also start slow and really just do this for 12 hours to start. So let's say you stop eating at 8pm.

And then you go to bed at 10. You wake up at 6am. For the first two hours, you can fast. And I will tell you I actually don't do this 100%, I cheat and I drink coffee. And then once I drink coffee, I feel settled. This isn't like a perfect fast by any means. And then I will eat for the hours allocated like 16 hours I'll fast and then I'll eat. And there are times when I might have to break the fast earlier depending on how I'm feeling and that's totally fine.

And I think that's really what I want to bring to your attention today is having flexibility, lacking the rigidity that makes a lot of these diets. It really is a way of life but making it so that you can give yourself grace, you don't have to be all or nothing. And you really just practice doing these things and have consistency. And it's okay if you mess up or it's okay, if you have a less than perfect day, you just start over at any time that you want.

And one of the benefits of intermittent fasting is really just allowing you to probably consume less calories just because it's over a less amount of time. And you're going to improve insulin sensitivity. So for those of you who you're borderline diabetic, or you've got your hemoglobin A1C, which is a measure in the bloodstream, which tells us that people have diabetes. If it's maybe higher than you want it to be, and you feel like you're having a little bit of insulin resistance, this is really helpful in protecting against type two diabetes, really improves that insulin sensitivity.

And it helps to support cell repair processes. Because during these fasting periods, cell maintenance of health is their best time to really repair. And you get an increase in the brain hormone, BDNF, brain derived neurotrophic factor, which really may aid in the growth of new nerve cells and is believed to protect against Alzheimer's. So that's pretty cool.

And in general, fasting has been shown to really increase lifespan and longevity. So you can do a couple different ways. You can fast for 16 hours and only eat during an eight hour window. You can eat normally for five days a week, and then really limit calorie intake very severely on two days, which I don't like as much.

And so I recommend the first way, which is the 16 hour fast, including when you're sleeping, and you can always gradually build up to that. And you want to make sure that you drink a lot of water. And if for any reason at all, you feel weak or dizzy or you're not feeling well, you may need to adjust your fasting window, not make it so long, you want to talk to your health care provider.

And this episode is definitely not specifically medical care, though I am a medical doctor, I'm not your doctor, but I am just giving information and tips that you can follow. And of course, the key in all of this is consistency and patience, and giving yourself grace if you're not doing it perfectly, really you just try this see it if you like it, do it. And then you can adjust it as you need.

So for me, I don't do intermittent fasting every single day. I especially will do it if I have an indulgent period of time. Like this past weekend was my son's birthday party, I had family in town, we were going out to eat a lot. So this week, I will attempt to do the intermittent fast several days. Or if I come back from vacation, I will do the intermittent fast for several days. But by no means do I do it every single day or religiously.

I stagger the different kinds of ways I practice my eating. And it's great because it keeps things fresh. But it also really helps me maintain a good body weight. But I will say as well. Exercise is really wonderful and important. And it helps boost your endorphins. And I can definitely do a different episode on exercise stuff.

But I used to actually hate exercise and for the past five years, I've consistently exercised first it was like two to three days a week, then three to four days a week. And now it's usually five days a week. But that is helpful, more than even in weight loss just in cardio protective health in blood flow to all of your organs, blood flow to your brain, decreasing dementia, increasing longevity, and of course, maintaining a healthy body weight.

Now the second way of life, which I guess I really like to call these way of life more than diets. The second option is the Mediterranean diet because it's really not super restrictive and it's very practical and easy to follow. It's mainly fruits and vegetables, which you're gonna get a lot of antioxidants, fiber, vitamins that you need, whole grains like whole grain bread or couscous, which also gives you fiber and nutrients.

And then healthy fats like olive oil or nuts and seeds, and avocado for example, legumes like beans, lentils, chickpeas, and fish and seafood. And in terms of meat, poultry is really preferred over red meat you can have a little bit of red meat, a little bit of sweets, but really limited, and eggs and cheese and yogurt as well in those.

So it's really extensive and that's why you can do it without really feeling like you're on quote unquote diet. And the benefits of this are really you've got the heart health because it's really great for reducing risk of heart disease, managing weight. A

gain, also with diabetic prevention and control and all of the anti inflammatory and antioxidants in this food may really help reduce inflammation or even prevent risk of cancer because you've got these lovely

antioxidants helping your body.

And so this is extremely easy to follow. And really, if you want to do it, I would say do it the majority of the week and learn to practice that and see how it goes for you because it's very easy to do in like social settings. And it's so simple to follow that it's a great lifestyle to have.

And now my third option is probably the most well known option, which is the low carb diet. And that's really great for diabetic prevention, it decreases inflammation, it's really good for your skin. Because carbs are really inflammatory, they can increase acne, or even dandruff like seborrhea dermatitis. And so low carb is a great way to go. It's even helpful in preventing heart disease.

So I think the most important thing with knowing low carb stuff is it's not just obvious things like sugars and desserts, and chocolate, and let's say sugary juices. But it's also really most things that are white, like rice, or pasta, or bread. And now these are not necessarily things that you have to stop altogether. But really being mindful of how you're consuming your carbohydrates.

And some of the carbs I really like, are like, if you like bagels, for example, an English muffin, like half an English muffin is just lower in calorie, low carbs. It's the really dense carbs, like a bagel, there's so much denseness in there, that's gonna have more carbs than a lighter, like more air in there, which is like an English muffin, for example, right? So you can make those kinds of choices where you're like, oh, well, I'm not gonna have a bagel, but I'm gonna have an English muffin.

Or if you're going to have pasta, you really have to know that a serving size of pasta, you want to have about half a cup. And that's not what is served when you go out to eat. That's not how much you're going to take. And you really want to try and keep it to half a cup if you're eating, things like that.

So that's one easy way to really lose weight is the low carb, high protein, high healthy fats diet slash way of life, but it's also not very fun. So I think that the low carb way of life, you can definitely do multiple days, and you could stagger it with the other two. That way, it's just more doable.

So you can kind of play around with what you like in terms of that. And you just want to replace high carb items with lower carb items you can try let's say like cauliflower rice, instead of white rice, you can do a little bit of meal prep with veggies. And really make sure not to put sugar in your drinks or drink high sugary sodas and monitor how you're feeling. And everybody feels differently.

But really, I think once you get over the first hump of reducing carbohydrates and eating high protein, more veggies, a little bit of cheese, let's say, you're going to feel full, and you're going to feel better. Because carbs are really pro inflammatory, we often will have like a sugar crash after having sugar.

And I'm not saying you can't indulge in carbohydrates or sugar, just keep it to like 20% of the time. And then let's say 80% of the time you follow the low carb diet. And I know the Atkins diet, which was super popular in the 90s is a no carb diet. And that is pretty miserable.

But that actually is one of the easiest, fastest ways to lose weight because you put your body into ketosis. And even though you're eating protein, and let's say fats, your body still goes into a starvation mode. So that's if you're really looking to lose a ton of weight. But in my opinion, it's not sustainable over the long run.

So when you're picking these lifestyles and making these choices in your eating, keep in mind that really the most important thing of all is to be consistent. Play around with them, mix and match them. You don't have to do one thing every single day.

You can see what works for you. You give yourself grace and be kind to yourself. If you quote unquote mess up your diet, you can start that day to do better or the next day. And you just keep at it. And eventually if you practice all of these ways of eating and ways of life, they really eventually just become you and it's not so much that you're going on the diet and off the diet and on the diet and off a diet, etc.

And if you're in a sedentary job where you're working from home, really make sure you move your body, you get out, you take a walk at the very least or you do a workout because when you're just sitting around there aren't very many calories burned. Although we do burn calories with various activities, even using our brains, but you just want to move your body as well.

So if you like this, let me know, leave a podcast review. And if you are like many of my clients who are burned out, they've been exhausted, and through working with me they've learned to enjoy their lives and truly find peace of mind, heal themselves from the inside out so that we have a healthier generation of kids because we've got a healthy generation of parents. Book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in today and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 88: How to Make Friends as a Working Mom

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how powerful human connection is and debunks the myth that all relationships must last forever. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can do what is right for you without feeling guilt or shame in order to cultivate more joy and peace. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The importance of tribe and connection and how you can cultivate them
• How to prioritize your well-being
• How to make peace with relationships that no longer work

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 88. Hello, thank you for being here and listening to this podcast today.

I am so grateful to have you here. If you're new to this podcast, welcome. And thanks for joining. If you are a faithful listener, I so appreciate that you're listening.

And if you can, I would love it if you would drop a review of this podcast. And let me know what you think because it's so helpful. And it will help reach others, so they get the stories, the connection and the tools.

So today, I'm going to talk about a couple of things that came up, really the power of human connection. But the reason I'm bringing up this topic today is because I'm in this entrepreneurial network, and a conversation came up during which people were talking about how certain relationships are meant to come to an end.

And I found that so profound, because I think often we are taught that relationships are supposed to or should be a certain way. And that way really is lasting forever.

So I'm really gonna dive into that topic today. And if you are a professional mom, you've got a successful career that you're proud of daily, but you're filled with guilt, because you're just not showing up for your family in the way that you want. Or you just can't be present for the moments that matter.

And your brain is always spinning in a million directions, thinking about your to do lists at work and at home. If that sounds familiar to you, please check out my brand new on demand masterclass. How overdrive and career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care in just five minutes a day, the link is in the show notes.

Now, in terms of human connection, really, it's friendships and relationships that often connection makes us feel fulfilled, it boosts our happiness. And it's so important in our overall sense of well being.

And where this really comes from is our sense of tribe, because tribe really refers to belonging to a social group of individuals, right, who have things in common, and they help each other. And this was so important, especially pre historically, humans were living in small nomadic groups relying on cooperation, working together, mutual support for survival.

And so this was critical for survival. And if you take this evolutionary development, you can see how for us, we still want that same connection. The early tribes were closely connected by familial ties, and hunting and gathering and protecting each other from threats. And now that we don't need to be we can go to the grocery store for our food. And it's not quite the same, we still require that connection.

So I bring this up, just so that you know that this is why we crave connection. But on the other hand, we've also been sold and told the idea that a lot of relationships have to last forever. For example, marriage is supposed to be forever.

You're supposed to get along with your family. You're supposed to get along with your mom and dad. You're supposed to get along with your sibling. You're supposed to have friendships that lasts forever. And that is wonderful, right, when it works out. There are two people that create all relationships.

And sometimes relationships just cannot last forever. Sometimes they are meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time. And I want to talk about that today. Because I feel like that can take the pressure off and give us tremendous relief when our relationships don't live up to society's standards.

Because these standards are what cause us suffering because we believe that we should be doing things a certain way. We believe that if our marriage ends or if a friendship ends, that we're failing.

And I know if you're a mom who's in a demanding career, you're type A, you're a perfectionist. I know that you are probably considering yourself a failure when things aren't picture perfect.

But remember, just because society has trained us to think a certain way, just because we are pressurized for things to last forever or for relationships to be a certain way. That does not mean that we have to internalize that. That does not mean that we have to agree.

We can actually have our own take on relationships and decide if we want them. Decide if they're healthy and give ourselves grace and forgive ourselves if there are relationships that we don't want to be a part of. And maybe other people or society is frowning upon that, right?

So, on one hand, we've got this need for human connection. But on the other hand, they don't have to last forever. So this concept of the tribe, it's really talking about our innate need for connection and belonging. Whether it is from our ancestors who were in tribes, even now, finding a sense of community and like minded individuals and people for your group is so important.

And have you ever noticed that when you do meet people who are on the same page as you, or like minded people, how fulfilled you feel, how supported you feel, how connected you feel, right. And so, that's so important. So it's wonderful to make those connections.

And I have been really doing this, in the last few years, I have been, I guess, you could say shaking up my life a bit, I definitely have a lot of old friendships, and I foster those, especially the ones that mean a lot to me.

And there is something really special about friends that you've known forever, because there's a certain amount of safety you feel or you just feel like they know you or they knew you at a different time. And it's very comfortable. It's like your created and chosen family.

So there's that. So I foster those. But I've also really been getting out in my own community. Meeting like minded women, meeting more people like networking a bit more, and just trying to surround myself with people who think like me. Because, it's important for us in our own personal development, growth or journey to feel like we're not alone. It's important for us to, I mean, we really are who we surround ourselves, by and with.

So that also is crucial in our sense of fulfillment, belonging. So that's all to say that, it's great to be open minded and make new connections that maybe fit you better than some of your older friendships and perhaps, dial back on certain friendships that maybe you're outgrowing. And that's okay. You don't have to feel guilt, you don't have to feel shame. You can feel sad. I think change is really hard. And we can have grief for things that change.

But just giving ourselves, just some leeway, and being easy on ourselves for, let's say, choosing not to put a ton of pressure on certain relationships on the forever part. Right? So think about marriage, right? Nobody goes into marriage thinking that they're gonna get a divorce, most people don't, I don't think.

And our society really pressurizes us to stay married. And a lot of times people have really toxic situations, it's detrimental to their mental health or physical health. And if they have children together, or there are kids in that environment, it's horrible for children to grow up in an unhealthy environment. And those kids can often act out and have a lot of issues themselves.

So nobody talks about that part, the part where, yeah, marriage is a serious commitment. And anybody who's married, it makes sense, they put all the work they can to keep the marriage together. But if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And that's okay. It's totally okay.

You don't need other people's approval, to know what's right for you. Or even a friendship where maybe you've been friends for 20 years, and something isn't sitting right or that's just not the kind of person you want to surround yourself with. That's okay too, to not put a ton of time and effort into that friendship.

Or even familial relationships that perhaps you wake up and you realize, hey, this is dysfunctional, these patterns are not healthy, like this is not okay. You don't have to be best friends with your parent or your sibling or whomever else in your family. You don't have to force yourself to do that. It's okay to find distance, it's okay to have friends who even function as your family. Right?

So as we can give ourselves grace to distance ourselves from unhealthy patterns, even if society generally doesn't support us in that, it's totally okay. There are a lot of dysfunctional things that go on in society. I think we can all agree on that, right. So I want you to while you listen to this to feel supported in doing whatever is right for you. Right.

So friendships as well. You don't have to foster friendships that aren't working for you as much anymore. If there are things you don't want to go to, gatherings and they're not aligning with who you are today. You don't have to go. We don't have to feel so guilty about everything all the time, like it's okay to live a life in alignment with who we are.

Because as we continue to do that, as you grow, you're going to be happier and more fulfilled. And that in turn has a positive ripple effect on your own family, on your kids, on those around you.

So there's nothing wrong with calling it quits with certain things or dialing back. And that's all juxtaposed or the background of that, right, is our need for tribe, which is why I talked about that in the beginning. We do need that connection.

And so that connection and feeling supported is crucial for our well being, perhaps even our survival in some ways. And it's okay if you want to make new connections or do something different. I find I try to be really open about meeting new people, and it usually steers me really well.

So this episode, the intention really is to let you know that whatever you're deciding in your relationships is totally fine any which way. You don't need to feel guilty or feel pressured by society's standards because it really just creates more sadness and suffering for us. So I'm so grateful that you tuned in today.

And if you really want to learn more and dive deeper into this work, and ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care, without the therapy,  without self help books but with proven processes that work.

Book a call with me, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. I would love to talk to you see where you are and if you're a good fit to work with me if I can help you. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 87: The Top 10 Ways to Let Go and Find Peace

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the importance of letting go and how it can serve to greatly improve your quality of life. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you, as a professional mom in a demanding career, can learn to truly let go of things such as perfectionism and guilt in order to create peace for yourself. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The importance of self-love and its impact on both personal and professional life.
• How to let go in order to ditch burnout.
• To release attachment to outcomes and be in the present moment.

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast,   episode number 87. Welcome. Welcome to the empowering working moms podcast real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, that is me, your podcast host, I'm so glad you're tuning in today.

I'm recording this a little bit after Valentine's Day, which was literally one of my favorite Valentine's in such a long time. And it got me thinking about how important this work is, and just how loving ourselves is one of the keys to a peaceful, happy life. And by loving ourselves, we set an awesome example for our children to love themselves too.

And I was thinking about really what love is, and how love in its purest, truest form, is simply unconditional. And if you are not sure of what love is, I encourage you to really think about how your children behave towards you, especially if they're young.

And that is love in its purest form. Your kids love you just for being you. And there's no rhyme or reason to it. And it is the most beautiful thing. And so today I'm about to talk about the concept of letting go. Because most people have been following society's standard of success personally and professionally, instead of asking themselves, what would make them happy.

Or a lot of working moms, whether you're working hard in your career, or even working hard at home, you're always putting the needs of other people in front of your own. So like the hard work that you're doing is based off other people's perceptions and needs more than what you want. And here's what happens if that's what you're doing.

You're going to feel exhausted not getting enough sleep, too much work at home and too much work at work, you're going to feel depleted. Because you're giving at work, you're giving at home, and then you feel like you have nothing left to give. Or even if you are in survival mode, where one day bleeds into the next. I call it the daily grind dread cycle where every day is just like Groundhog's Day.

And you just can't tell the difference between days, especially during the week, and you just want to get through it. Or even having no time where you're busy all the time, over extended. And that just leaves you feeling depressed and unfulfilled.

And so there are really five ways of getting out of this and getting out of burnout and exhaustion. And I'm going to actually give you one of my favorite ways today. So that you don't get overwhelmed I can't  teach you everything inside my program.

But you will be able to be more present with your family and kids and have a better connection with them. Really cultivate more peace of mind get better work life balance, and even hours back each week of your time and your energy. So to truly understand the crux of letting go,  we need to understand that it's not really just letting go of physical things like decluttering or the Marie Kondo method.

It's about letting go of the mental load and emotional weight that we feel day to day because we've got that to do list that really causes us so much grief at work, at home. And the thing about the to do list and I have previous episodes on what to do regarding the to do list, but the to do list is never ending and it always has more stuff piling on. So it's not satisfying.

And frankly, most of us are type A enough that if you let the to do list go, you'll see that you're gonna get everything done anyway. So we find ourselves just overwhelmed with obligations, expectations, and a lot of them we create ourselves, struggling to maintain that balance. So letting go really allows us to free up mental space, prioritize our well being, and get our inner peace back amidst all of the details of day to day life.

And it's really a conscious choice to release things that don't serve us, to release attachment to outcomes, which I know is so much easier said than done. I know one of my senior partners and he's somewhat of a mentor to me, he told me long ago, like you do your best and then you detach from the result which I found really mind boggling. This was several years ago. But he was so right. And really surrendering to the natural, just having more flow in your day with grace and acceptance.

So I'm going to talk a little bit about the benefits of letting go because I think it's important to understand why we let go. And then I'll give you some actual practical tips to do that. So, in the short term, we can really be liberated and unburden ourselves from negativity and self doubt. And really feel so much more free.

And this really allows us to navigate life's challenges so much more easily when we can just let go. Because remember, the only thing we can really control is ourselves. We can't control circumstances, we can't control things around us. We can control what we think, what we do, and how we react to things.

And there's so much power in that control. But then when it comes to all the other elements, we really have to work on releasing and letting go. And as we let go, we really clear up so much more space, in our minds as we're letting things that don't serve us or just are bothering us, letting go, it creates so much more peace.

And as we practice, we can get better and better at it and really release attachment to the beliefs and patterns that maybe are not helping us. And of course, physically, if you declutter, letting go just creates a more peaceful, clean environment.

I'm going to give you the top 10 takeaways from the book letting go–the pathway of surrender by Dr. David Hawkins, because the entire book has multiple chapters on letting go. I've read many parts of it, I didn't read the whole thing, because it's pretty dry.

But here are some things that he talks about, that I think are so useful for us to put into action. And so letting go is really liberating. Because we release attachment to outcomes. And then surrender to the present moment, which really helps us to be present with our thoughts and our feelings. Present with the sadness. Present with the negativity, without resisting or trying to control it. Because the more we resist, it will persist. I'm sure you've heard that saying, but it's true.

As opposed to just letting yourself feel the negative feelings and allow yourself to be where you are. And then once you allow yourself to be there, you can let go. And so emotional release is exactly that, processing your emotions, feeling them, and then you're without judgment, without resistance, and then you can more easily let them go.

And also, how much power there is in forgiveness. So forgiving is a big way to let go, you just let go, especially if someone apologized to you, but they don't have to. You forgive in order to create peace for yourself. And I think the most important person to forgive really is yourself for any harm you may have brought upon yourself or decisions that you made that you feel like you were not in integrity with yourself or you didn't have your own back.

And also just detaching from the ego. Because really, not to get too philosophical, philosophically Buddhist here, but our attachment, our ego, which is really just our sense of self. And it's not even real, the ego, or our sense of self, it's something that we create. So detaching ourselves from our ego can really help us to be so much happier and less frustrated. And really letting go to practice patience and allow things to just happen.

And I find the greatest teachers of patience are my kids, in so many ways. Even something simple like at bedtime, they'll be dilly dallying, and then I find myself feeling a little nervous and anxious that they're cutting into my relaxation time after they go to bed.

I want to have time to unwind before I sleep, and then I have to go to sleep at a certain time because they automatically wake up at 6:30. And then I need a certain amount of sleep and so on and so forth. And then the brain is just spinning out.

But what I find so fascinating is young children really have no concept of time, they don't care, they will just do whatever. And they're fine, like they're very happy. And so it's definitely something we can think about doing more of. And I think it would make us happier if we learn to let go of some of those constructs that we create.

And so here are some major ways in which we as professional moms, moms, in demanding careers, can let go. We can let go of perfectionism. Because I think that is one of the biggest, it has gotten us so far, right, in our careers.

But it is really a thief of joy. So really letting things go in that sense, like letting go of the perfectionism, not trying to be perfect. Realizing that you're human and you're gonna make mistakes and especially letting go of perfectionism in parenting because we're just never going to be the perfect parents as much as we want to be and being able to fess up even and apologize to our kids.

If we raise our voice or do something, maybe that's less than perfect, and we can be open and honest about that. And I think that kids do really appreciate that. And that allows them to also realize that it's okay for them to make mistakes.

So another way to let go is to really let go of our guilt for maybe working too much, or having too much on our plate or whatever else it is. And just realize that we're doing the best we can. And we are the perfect parents for our kids. Like, I believe that kids choose us. And their little spirit chooses the home to be in. So that always brings me tremendous comfort.

And letting go of toxic dynamics, relationships, or friendships that maybe have reached their course and are no longer serving us. I think that that is something that really lightens our mental load and can really create more simplicity for us.

So by releasing toxic relationships, toxic ties, we create space for a healthier, more nourishing connection. We create space and time for new, healthier friendships and relationships.

And now I'm going to give you 10 practical strategies to really learn to let go every single day. So you can use these in everyday life.

And one is practicing mindfulness and really being in the present moment to get that clarity and inner peace. So that means centering yourself, or focusing on your breath when your mind is wandering, or you're perseverating on something that you know isn't healthy for you.

Cultivating self compassion and forgiveness for ourselves. And also that ends up bleeding on to other people. Number three is to set clear boundaries to protect our time, energy, and emotional well being. And I've talked about this on a recent episode. So if you haven't listened to that, check it out.

The next is to embrace flexibility and really release the need for control outside of ourselves. Because we don't have any control over other people and any thought that we do is just a simple delusion, we just can't, right. And really leaning into the natural flow of life.

Five is to declutter physical and mental space. So letting go of unnecessary possessions. And also letting go of thoughts and beliefs that really don't help us, don't serve us. Six is to really focus on what we can control and release attachment to outcomes beyond what we can influence. Seven is to embrace imperfection, and really allow ourselves to be human.

Eight is to let go and stop whining ourselves so tightly, and enjoy and celebrate everything, big and small, birthdays, holidays, progress, growth, festivities, all of that. Nine is to cultivate gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in our lives, really everything that's going well for us. Thinking about all of the dreams that we've made come true, but also on a smaller day to day level.

Being able to acknowledge what we can be grateful for every day, even if it's simple, like having hot water, a roof over your head, your health. Those are all things that we take for granted. And it's important to focus on those to really help us to feel abundance, contentment, and also let go of the small stuff because the more we focus on what's going right, the more that we can let go of what's going wrong.

And really the last but not least is radical acceptance. So really accepting what is and not fighting that. Embracing reality, without judgment, without resistance. And the more we can just kind of accept where we are. And I'm not saying you have to accept bad treatment or accept less from yourself than you want but just accepting that that is where you are right now.

And that you're always growing, learning, and changing, and developing, and moving towards where you want to go. So letting go of fighting with what is and I know that this really allows for a deeper sense of peace and contentment.

So that is this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it definitely practice one of the 10 things that I talked about and see how it will completely change your life. And if you want to dive deeper into some of this, check out my free brand new on demand masterclass. How over driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care in only five minutes a day.

So the link for that is in the show notes. Check it out. I just recently redid this masterclass. It's awesome. You don't want to miss it. Take some time. It's about 35 minutes. Make sure you have time to watch it and take notes. Check it out link below in the show notes. Thank you so so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week

Episode 86: Creating Balance Between the Beauty and Challenges of Working Motherhood

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the very important topic of one’s relationship to motherhood and how to face the dichotomy between being a mother and balancing an identity outside of motherhood. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how self-care is not always the answer to burnout and exhaustion for working moms, despite common belief. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn to:

• Ditch the ‘Daily Grind Dread Cycle’ with the practices from this episode.
• Balance work and motherhood to find fulfillment.
• Combat mom guilt through practicing mindfulness, reframing perfectionism, and embracing one's humanity.
• Heal and grow through understanding the complexities of motherhood.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 86. Hello there. Thank you so much. I'm so glad to have you here today. Welcome to this podcast, empowering working moms real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik.

I will say that February in the northeast, it's a time for realizing that spring is around the corner and the cold days are going to leave us relatively soon. We're not so much in the dead of winter anymore. And I noticed that it got dark a little bit later yesterday. So I was really pumped about that. The Long Dark days can be really kind of tough.

So I'm sure you as a working mom in a demanding career, I'm guessing you've been told that self care is the absolute answer and antidote to burnout and exhaustion. But what most people never realize is that so many moms, in demanding careers are getting mani pedis, they're still exhausted.

And you make the time to get the massage and it does not work. And if that happens, what is going to happen to you? What's going to happen your exhaustion? Is self care really the answer? Well, no. It's really being aware of the problem and deciding to do the work, the work to heal. Instead of bandaiding like self care.

In my coaching program overcome burnout for good. I teach clients to heal from the inside out using my tools that are really backed by my experience as a medical doctor, a mom, I have my master's degree in neuroscience too.

So I've used all of this background and information to develop my processes, helping so many moms to find peace of mind and balance, to ditch exhaustion and burnout once and for all. Now book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me, the link is in the show notes, to find out if you are someone that I can help too.

And today I want to talk about really our relationship to motherhood. And I had this feeling, I had come back from a trip and I just felt thrown back in to the daily grind. And there's what I call the daily grind dread, which so many moms are trapped in where they're just dreading the day. And they get out of bed, their alarm goes off, they're dragging themselves out. And then it's work, work, work, work work, they come home. And then it's more work and more stuff to do in the to do list. And it's just totally exhausting.

Now, I never feel the daily grind tread because of my processes. But I will say that when I'm not with my kids, I miss them. And they're top of mind, their safety and their well being. And when I am with them, I feel a lot of pressure to spend a lot of time with them because there's that saying that the days are long, but the years are short. And it's so true.

So you know, I realized that the next thing I know, they're going to be off to college and ditching me and even before that, they're not going to want to hang out with me anymore. And this time is so so precious. And as I was ending my carefree time, and it was back to my regular scheduled programming.

Meaning my job, my older one is in private school and figuring out when the deadline is for that and tuition and all these things. His camp, I think I pretty much got done, but there are a couple things lingering with that and just those kinds of things. And then also, of course, I love being with my kids.

But that's what brings me to the topic of today. Which is how being a mom is the most important job that we will really ever have. And today I'm going to talk about my own personal story, which really is about how I knew I wanted to be a mother at six years old. Now that's not true for everyone. But that is true for me.

My sister is actually six years younger than me. And when she was a baby, I loved caring for her. I loved having a baby sister, I would help to make her formula bottles and supplement them with iron. And I remember very vividly helping do this and even changing her diapers when I was that age and I really loved it. And I love babies. And so, from that moment, I knew I wanted to be a mom.

Now it doesn't have to be that soon for people. And maybe some people don't know they want to be a mom and they get pregnant and they decide to have a baby not really knowing. But what happens is, after we have those babies we love them fiercely like no other. And that love that a mother has for her child, there is nothing like it. It is so beautiful. I'm probably gonna cry while I deliver this episode.

But when I think of the day when I became a mom and I brought my older one home from the hospital and looking at him, and he was just, he was the cutest thing I've ever seen. And many of us we have a tough labor, which I felt like with both my kids, I had not the best laboring situations. And yet, if you asked me would I do it all over again, I totally would.

Because I have these two magical creatures that I'm so blessed and privileged to call my children. And just looking at them, it's sometimes surreal for me that they're my kids. And actually, it's funny, they don't really look like 100%, like me or their father, they're just some mix of those DNAs mixed together, and you have them and they look like each other.

So definitely, we know that they're our children, but I look at them and it's not like either of them is really a spitting image of me. And when I look at them, and they're doing things, and I just cannot believe that these are my children.

And I even had a moment the other day when I was putting my daughter to bed, and we do this really long hug. And I realized, well, I always think, this is it, this is now, these are the times. And I thought to myself, wow, like, there was a time when there was nothing more than I wanted but to be a mother and it's here and it happened and that dream came true. And not everyone gets that dream so easily, right? People go through a lot to have children, and a lot of people have fertility issues.

So that's all to say that on one hand, it's so moving to be a mom. Now the reason I'm telling you all of this is, there's that right? And there's the juxtaposition of how it is yes, being a mom is literally some of the most important work we will do, our job as mothers raising these people, these little humans.

But at the same time, it is by far the hardest job. And it's the most important. So it makes it even more hard because we know that whatever we're doing, whatever is going on with us, whatever trauma we have, whatever stories we have, whatever triggers we have. That shapes, how we come across to them, what we're saying to them, and how we're rearing them and raising them. And so that's why it is so important for us to work on ourselves.

And that's where it's not about self care. It's about having intention, and realizing that as we work on ourselves, as we heal ourselves, we're actually being better mothers. So none of that time that we take for ourselves, none of that work that we do for ourselves, because it's really for our kids too, it's not selfish. It's going to have a positive ripple effect on our children, and our whole family.

And so we know that being a mom is the most important job. And yet, we want to be human beings. We want to be people besides being a mother. That identity is so crucial. It's so important for our personal fulfillment. And yes, children fulfill us in so many ways. But we also have our careers that we're managing. And that is important.

Now for some of us, a career means personal fulfillment, feeling like you're really impacting the world and making money at the same time. And for some of us, it might just be making money, but either way, those are choices we make. That's something we want to do. We want to be people outside of being moms, we want to have an impact. We want to help make our child's lives better, maybe with the extra money we bring in.

Or also I believe that being a professional mom, it sets an awesome example for my children that I have a career that's important to me. And my mother, she worked really hard. She worked many, many hours, and I reaped the benefits of that through she was able to pay for a lot of things. And I had a wonderful life thanks to her. But not just that. She sent an example of hard work that has really stuck with me, and it's wonderful, and I'm really grateful for that.

So how do we make peace or face this dichotomy? Because there is a dichotomy. It's like on one hand, you love your kids so fiercely, you love them to death. And on the other hand, you're spread really thin and you're needing some time for yourself or you need to be a person outside of that.

So how do we do this? How do we reconcile this? When we tend to feel so much mom guilt, right? Because mom guilt is something that just goes with the job. It's an inherent part of being a mother.

Basically, we feel guilty that we're not doing a good enough job, we feel guilty that we're not perfect. We're not spending enough time with our kids, maybe we're doing too much work this and that. And we set ourselves up for dissatisfaction because we are striving for perfection just like we do in our jobs, just like we do in general because we're type A.

And as we can really combat this mom guilt, we can practice mindfulness, and try to be in the present moment. We can really reframe, and allow ourselves to let go of perfectionism, embrace our humanity, being human, learning to apologize to our children if we make mistakes, connecting with other professional moms as well. Those are ways that we can ditch mom guilt.

Now, the bottom line in all of this, and why I bring up this topic today, why am I talking about my love of being a mother, juxtaposed with the difficulty of being a working mom? The difficulty of trying to do it all and being spread relatively thin?

Well, first of all, it exists. And that's why I'm talking about it today. It is there. And then how are we going to create peace in this situation? So this is what we do, we learn to be aware. We're aware that we have this dichotomy.

We're aware that we have the guilt. We're aware that we want to be people outside of our children. And as we become aware, we can learn to embrace our humanity. We can learn to heal ourselves. We can get help, we can go to therapy, we can get a coach, we can learn our patterns. And as we do that, as we really practice, healing, mindfulness, all the tools, a lot of the tools that I have on this podcast actually I talk about a lot of tools.

And then I have way more in depth processes inside my coaching program. But this is how we really heal from the inside out and create this next generation of healing mothers. So that we don't make the mistakes that our mothers made with us.

But also, we get to enjoy our lives, we get to find peace and happiness, we get to be working, we get to be moms, and we get to be fulfilled. And we can learn to realize the mom guilt is always gonna be there but make our peace with it.

Peace with the fact that motherhood is beautiful, but motherhood is hard. Motherhood is important. Motherhood can be frustrating sometimes. We can feel all of those things, they can all exist at the same time. That's the beauty. It's not black and white. It's not one way or the other. And as we acknowledge this, we get to give ourselves grace. Knowing that we're doing the best we can.

We keep learning and healing and growing. And that is how we learn to connect with ourselves. But also have a better connection with our children, with our spouses, with our families, and our friends and build this life filled with love for ourselves, our families and also alignment to really live out what we want for ourselves.

And by doing this, we're helping ourselves and helping our loved ones. So if you want to dive deeper into this work, book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me.

I've helped so many moms just like you. Book a call to see if you're someone I can help too. We dive way deeper into all of this stuff inside my coaching program overcome burnout for good in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 85: Learn Boundaries for Work-Life Balance

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the important topic of boundaries and how to properly establish them in order to get the most out of their benefits. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can get more work-life balance through setting boundaries for yourself. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• physical boundaries, emotional boundaries, and relational boundaries to achieve work-life balance.
• the positive impact of boundaries on mental health, stress reduction, and healthier relationships through improved communication and clarity of expectations.
• practical implementable tools on how to implement boundaries.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 85. Hello, hello. We are now in February. I am so glad that you are listening here today. Welcome to the empowering working moms podcast. So thrilled to have you listening.

And I want to keep with the theme of self love this month, I'm going to do my best to do that. And that is actually why I'm going to talk about boundaries today.

And so many moms in demanding careers, they're focusing on things like self care, mani pedis, massages, trying to work out more, maybe on your peloton, do you have one? I know many of my clients do. And meditate more. Well more like downloading apps like headspace and calm and then never actually meditating.

But they do these things to feel more energized, to ditch exhaustion, to ditch burnout. And these are really Band Aid solutions. They're a quick fix for a day or two. But they really don't work in the long term. There are actually five ways of doing this overcoming burnout in my coaching program overcome burnout for good.

But today, I'm giving you one of my favorite ways, right now you're going to be able to practice this. You're gonna have time, energy back each week. But also you're going to be able to stop feeling guilty and show up for your family in the way that you want. Really creating deeper connections and being present for the moments that matter. And that is through boundaries.

So we're going to talk a little bit about what boundaries are and the kinds of boundaries, how you can practice them. And I'm sure you already know that you probably are thinking you need to practice better boundaries, because a lot of clients coming to me saying that. So now I'm going to give you the way to actually do that.

So really, boundaries are a way that creates a delineation between us and other people. They're the limits and guidelines that we create to define what is acceptable to us. So acceptable and appropriate behavior in various parts of our lives. And boundaries create a framework for healthy relationships.

But really, the healthy relationship that we have with ourselves. Boundaries are so important for our own personal well being and self preservation. It is a true key to balance and work life balance. And so we've got several types of boundaries which I'm going to describe for you.

Physical boundaries really just involve personal space, physical touch, protecting one's space and body. So that's why I know there's so much stuff on social media, where this generation of mothers, we're not forcing our kids to hug people anymore, because we're allowing them to have personal space and autonomy over their bodies.

And I actually created this list of values with my kids for our family that I thought was fun. We have it on the fridge. And one of them is personal space and personal boundaries. And my two year old daughter, she has been saying personal space and personal boundaries for a while. And it is to help keep them from invading each other's space. But also in the future as they get older, other people's space.

The next boundary is emotional boundaries, and that's really protecting our emotional well being and recognizing and respecting our own emotions along with other people's. And so this is really protecting and preserving our mental space. Or if something does not feel like a safe environment mentally, then maybe that's something to think about creating an emotional boundary for.

And then there are relational boundaries, which really are in different settings, like within a family, or with your friends, or with people at work. And I know that's a tough one for a lot of moms in demanding careers, they have a tough time establishing boundaries between home and work. And that's why y'all want work life balance, right, because you want it to be better.

And boundaries really have such a positive impact on mental health. So research has really shown that boundaries help with stress reduction, knowing your limits, and really being able to tell people that or avoid certain situations, prevents overwhelm, and really helps you to stay balanced.

Also enhancing your self respect. Because as you maintain your boundaries, you're really respecting yourself and preserving your own sense of self and what works for you. Boundaries also foster healthier relationships, because you're going to have more clarity of expectations.

You're going to decrease misunderstandings, be more clear and therefore enhance communication. And so this is just going to increase the quality of relationships that you have in interactions and connection. It's going to definitely increase your emotional well being because you're going to be able to take care of and safeguard your emotional space.

And so this is truly what prevents emotional exhaustion and burnout. So this allows you to really navigate challenges with resilience. And establishing boundaries for work life balance is so important to really allow our personal time to be our personal time. And setting boundaries really helps us to feel empowered and control our lives.

Because we really don't have control over anything outside of ourselves. We have no control over other people, we can only control what we do and control our response. And that is where boundaries really come in handy.

And healthy boundaries really prevent codependent relationships where people are just so intertwined and rely on each other for everything for emotional validation. And being able to have boundaries, a delineation between you and other people, really helps you to be independent and have a more stable and resilient mental state.

And now I'm going to dive into the actual practicality, how to implement and practice boundaries, give you some examples as well. Before I start that, I want to say that boundaries really are not something that you have to tell other people.

Your boundary is really simply for you. And boundaries go like this. If this happens, then I do that. If this, then I. So if something outside of you happens, then you take action in a certain way. And that way, it really has to do with what you're doing. Not anything else. Okay. So that is the premise of a boundary.

So let's say for example, at work, you have a tough time creating boundaries. If there is an extra project that you don't have time to do. So if there's an extra project and I don't have time, then I say no. You say no. If I'm at home, and it's after five, or after six, whatever, I am not going to look at my work emails.

So if, then. And that way, you have these, it's almost like they're little rules for you to live by. Which most of us I think are probably rule followers. Personally, I'm actually a rebel Gretchen Rubin. I don't know if anyone's familiar with her. But she has these four tendencies.

And I took the quiz twice, because I didn't believe I was a rebel. Which is ironic, because that just shows that I am a rebel. So I actually don't like to follow rules. But when it comes to boundaries, I will stick to them.

Because for me, personal boundaries and being good at sticking to them, it's a skill that I've been learning and building over time. And so it's almost like, I get to show myself how I am really transforming and growing as a person.

Because if you're familiar with Indian culture at all. My parents were born in India, they came here in their 20s. And I was born and raised in this country. And so in my culture boundaries really are not a thing.

Everybody's up in everybody's business. There's really no delineation between family members. So this has been something I've had to learn in my later adult life. And it's been a game changer. Which is why I'm so passionate about talking about it today.

So other boundaries that you can do, even certain things like with your children, for example, that's a really, really tough one. Boundaries with our own kids is tough, because the way a mom loves her children, it's so special, it's so different, and it can be so intense.

And so you love your kids so much. And you just want them to be happy. And so a lot of times we will overextend ourselves for our children, which is not a problem at all. But we can also have boundaries.

So for me, my boundary is, because I do some remote work, my coaching business, I work from home. And when my door is shut during the day, at night, I usually leave my door open so I can hear my kids, but during the daytime, if they're at home, and let's say my au pair is taking care of them. If my door is shut, then I am not available.

And so that is my own boundary, which I don't have to tell them, but I do tell them this just so that they know. And then when they don't adhere to this, and they burst into my room, I reinforce when the door is shut, I am doing work, and I'm not available to hang out and play. So that is one example of preserving, let's say your workspace or your time, and you can even do it with your children.

Now I'm going to give you a bit of an extreme example. When people are in dysfunctional relationships. And one of the spouses, let's say, has a temper problem and it's scary. And maybe they're not ready to remove themselves from the unhealthy situation, et cetera.

A great boundary for that could be in your mind, you could say if he calls me a swear word again, or if he starts slamming doors, I will leave. So you don't even have to tell the other person that. But at least for you, then you have a boundary and you have a safety plan. And it's just something that you can control.

Though I would recommend getting out of those kinds of situations because they usually don't improve with therapy and things like that. Although never say never because anything's possible, I suppose in this world, now isn't it.

Another example that's like quite personal for me. I had my first au pair, she's wrapping up with me in about a month. And our relationship started out really well. And then I would say it kind of took a turn, maybe four months in or so. And so she's been wonderful with my children, no doubt.

But when you have an au pair, sometimes you have house rules. And she does not like to follow mine. And she will tell me, oh, I would never not follow your rules, I will always respect your rules. And then she flat out doesn't. And I've caught her in a couple of white lies to me and I don't like being lied to.

So that's all to say that since we're coming towards the end of our relationship, I don't really think it makes sense to have major conversations about this. And what makes more sense for me, though, to preserve my own personal energy is to have boundaries.

So if you don't respect my house rules, and if you lie to me, then you won't get a certain privilege or a certain extra whatever it might be, extra demand from me. And though I actually found that really hard to put into action. Especially when you live with somebody, it can be very tricky in terms of how to deal with a person you live with.

So I practiced my boundary. And what I found was it made me really uncomfortable. But what I knew was that I had inner peace, knowing that I loved myself with my boundary. I respected myself with my boundary. And I was more than comfortable. And I knew if something went down with her, for example, that I would be okay. I was going to be fine no matter what.

And I'm not trying to brag I'm saying that is how I knew that I've come so far, and I'm growing so much. And so this work really means something. And it's not always easy, it is very simple. And it can change how we experience life for the better. So much more peace, so much less cognitive dissonance.

And now I'm going to get into a little bit of scientific research about the benefits of boundaries. I'm not going to bore you too much. But I think it's important for us to know concrete evidence that this is why we want to learn and practice boundaries.

And you know that I'm a scientist because I have my master's in neuroscience. I am a board certified internal medicine physician who still sees patients so I'm also a very science based person.

A study published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior investigated the relationship between boundaries, work related stress, and work life balance. And what they found was that people who actively set boundaries really ended up having a lower level of stress and higher satisfaction in their lives.

Another study published in the Journal of Family Psychology showed that families with well defined and communicated boundaries experience lower levels of anxiety and stress and having better mental health outcomes.

And the last study that I'll mention comes from the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, which has investigated the impact of parental boundary settings on child outcomes. And this research shows that parents who maintain consistent and appropriate boundaries contribute to lower stress levels in themselves but also in their children.

So if that isn't incentive to start learning how to practice boundaries, I don't know what it is. So remember, when you're practicing boundaries, you really want to create that safety, physically and mentally for yourself. So if this happens outside of me, then I do this. And you will see, you're gonna feel so so much better.

If you want to dive deeper and truly heal from the inside out, to ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care, without working out, without meditation and truly heal yourself, get that change that you've been wanting, ditch burnout, exhaustion for good book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

Episode 84: Unlocking Happiness: Mastering Mindfulness for a Fulfilling Life

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the importance of cultivating presence and joy in the small and mundane moments happening in ordinary life. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about strategies to realize that life is about the here and now. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Embrace the Present Moment:- Discover the transformative power of living in the now and the importance of mindfulness.
• Practice Mindfulness Easily:- Practical tips on incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine.
• Find Joy in Small Moments:- Scientific insights into the impact of finding joy in everyday experiences. Practical tips for cultivating gratitude and happiness in small, ordinary moments.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You are listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 84. Well, hello there, happy winter. It has been an interesting winter here on the East Coast. There were a couple of snow days. And basically my au pair got stuck in Nashville. So I was without childcare for, I think six days or so. It was a lot.

And one of the days actually, I was unable to go to work because my au pair was not around to be backup childcare for the snow day. And I ended up spending time with my kids. It was very stressful.

But it actually inspired this week's episode, which is about the concept of the time is now. Like, this is your life, in this moment. These are the days of our lives. They are so so precious. And though we hate on ourselves for so many things like our bodies, and this and that. When we're ninety years old, we're going to be missing our 30 something year old 40 something year old bodies.

And actually, I'm going to be honest, my kids are in the background because it's the weekend and this morning, I was gone to a workshop that I was putting on on mindfulness tools for moms who are exhausted and want to enjoy their lives and find peace of mind. And so actually, my au pair was off this weekend as well. So she couldn't help me. And so I had a babysitter come and then I came home, I spent some time with my kids. And I decided it was time to record this podcast episode.

But now I'm actually thinking, Well, I wanted to avoid screen time. So I have them in my room playing but I'm realizing it is too much noise probably. So I am going to break down and put them in front of a screen because that's usually the only way to keep them quiet. So hold on. I'll be right back.

All right now we're back. I put on Disney plus for them. And I'm very anti screentime. And I tried to not have my children watch TV at all costs. And so anyway, I digress. But okay, we're back. And it's just adults here. It's our little safe space right now. And I'm going to go ahead and record this before anything happens.

So the moment is now. These are the special moments. And it dawned on me that this is the case when it was a snow day. And I'm sitting at the breakfast table with my children. And I'm stressed about how am I going to get to work like, what am I going to do? How am I going to entertain them? Or can I find some childcare?

And I was putting on some music. And they both started laughing. And we were all doing these hand motions in the air. And it was just kind of cute and funny. And we're all laughing. And there was just this moment. And in my mind, I just thought to myself, This is it. This is the magic. And it's right here, right now.

Which is also just kind of a mindfulness piece in practice, like it's right here right now. And I get to be there. And I have this privilege to be here right now and spend time with them. And they're so little and yeah, they follow me around and I can't even go to the bathroom without having them in tow. And that can be really exasperating.

But at the same time, I know that someday they're going to be busy with their friends, they're going to be teenagers, and I'm going to miss this time. So the time is now because there are moments right now that might be annoying you but one year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now you're going to miss it.

And so we also just catch ourselves in the past or the future. That's what we're caught up with. And we're just neglecting what's right in front of us the present moment and the power of right now, right. And that's what really dawned on me during just a mundane breakfast with my kids.

But it's in the mundaneness that there's so much magic and I really loved sitting with them and being goofy and it was fun. And those are the moments I'm gonna remember on my deathbed, not being stressed out about whatever, day to day stuff, the day to day grind.

And another way to really realize how it's right now, this is life, is that we have journeys. Well life is a journey. And it has very distinct phases with different experiences. And there is beauty in every single stage. Even if there is pain. There's always something positive that can come out of negativity.

I remember even a couple years ago, gosh, it's gonna be actually close to four years ago now. That's so crazy to think about, but four years ago was when I moved for my spouse's job, and I left my full time job. And it was just such a weird time because we were in the middle of COVID and I actually had gotten pregnant too.

But leaving my full time career as a physician in a practice, shout out to first docs. But my practice is so great, and it's the job I've been at since residency, and they've always treated me really well. And there's some flexibility and it's just a great practice to work for. And so I was leaving that full time job, really not knowing what I was going to do and it was really tough.

And that was actually what opened up time to pursue my coaching business. And even having the creativity and the time to do this podcast and things like that. And so what seemed like such a horrible thing at the time, leaving the only job I had known full time at the time, and not knowing what I was doing next really gave me time to reflect. So no matter where we are, and that's kind of not so dark of a thing, but even darker things.

There's always some lesson there that challenges bring us and something we can learn. And we can really embrace what happens. So we can embrace the current moment. And the way to really do this is through learning how to be mindful. And this morning, I spoke to a local group of women about mindfulness practices and tools that they could use in stressful moments.

And the thing about mindfulness is, it's not meant only for dealing with stress and anxiety. But it's also meant to bring you to the current moment and one of the most useful tools, saying to yourself here and now, can really help you. As you inhale, you say here, as you exhale, you say now.

And doing that as you're breathing can really tether you to the current moment and take you away from the narrative, the story that's going on in your head. Bring you back to the now, which is really the main life that we're living is right now. And take you away from obsessing over your to do list, the grocery list, et cetera. So try the here and now mindfulness exercise and see how it goes for you. You can use it when you're feeling stressed. But it's also really helpful if you are just wanting to bring yourself in.

And I actually used it right before this episode when I was trying to structure the rest of the day and thinking about hmm, how am I going to record my podcast with the kids home, and I don't want to do it after they go to bed because I'm gonna be too tired, and so on and so forth.

And I was doing special time with my kids. And I said to myself, here and now and that brought me in to the present moment. Remembering to cultivate presence and joy in small, mundane moments happening in ordinary life can profoundly impact our well being. And scientific studies have actually shown this, that finding joy in these moments can make us happier.

Whether it is savoring a cup of coffee in the morning, enjoying or marveling at the sunset, enjoying the sunshine on your face, enjoying your surroundings, enjoying laughs with your children, embracing a friend or a spouse and really soaking that in. Because we just never know how long we have on this earth or even how long we have with other people. And also practicing gratitude.

And so that brings me to some tips you can use to really realize that life is now, these are the moments of our lives. These are the best moments of our lives, even if sometimes we're going through some hard stuff, because life can be tough. And no matter what comes our way, we can learn to have moments of joy and presence.

Even if we've got grief in the background or dysfunction with family members in the background or arguments with somebody in the background, you're having a falling out with your old best friend in the background or a divorce in the background. There are so many other serious things that can go on, they can happen. But you can still cultivate peace of mind and joy, I promise.

So some tips to do this. One is to really practice gratitude. And I've mentioned this before in different contexts. But this is a known happiness factor or hack. I know that it makes people happier, because it just trains your brain to see the glass half full. So for yourself thinking of brainstorming five things to be grateful for every morning. Or when you're in the shower. You can cultivate a gratitude practice with your children. If you're into journaling, you could practice gratitude that way. People have a gratitude jar.

I think Jay Shetty had mentioned this on his podcast or somewhere, create a jar and name one thing you're grateful for every week. And then at the end of the year, you have 50 things you can reflect on, which is kind of cool. Practicing the mindfulness that we talked about. Maybe using here and now and just bringing yourself into the present moment as you breathe.

Engaging your senses in any given experience. So if you're in a room with wonderful people at an event, let's say. Just marveling at the space, the room or their paintings on the wall, really seeing everything seeing the people looking at their expressions, what are they wearing? Or what are you hearing? Are you talking to someone Are you really listening?

And maybe just listening without having a response and just soaking that in. Really cultivating those listening skills, that really creates presence and realizing this is my life right here, right now, this is what's happening. The senses, can you smell anything? What about tactile? Is there a feeling like maybe you're sitting on a really comfortable couch?

Or did you shake hands with somebody, notice when you're shaking their hand. Or a hug. And we went over seeing, listening, smelling, touching, tasting. If you're eating food, really notice what you're tasting, and try to focus on that instead of letting your mind wander off.

So the senses are a great way to make yourself present. Because if you focus on your senses, you're observing what's happening right now, instead of letting your brain wander to the past or the future. And that is really how we can be present.

And I also think over planning for years and years in advance, maybe shying away from doing that, like making plans years in advance, because. I don't mean financial planning, I just more mean like vacations and things like that, because things happen. COVID happens, world catastrophes happen, environmental things happen.

Somebody actually today that I met this morning was telling me that she and her husband are considering canceling their trip to Iceland because there were volcanoes erupting. And so it's just always stuff. So if you just try to live day by day, shorter periods of time to really live in the present moment, that is the best.

And that's actually why Al Anon and I believe AA too, they talk about one day at a time. And I will tell you, if you're living with someone who has an addiction to any substance, including alcohol, it can be very, very difficult to practice loving detachment, which is really the premise of Al Anon.

And it's detaching yourself with love. so that you're able to create your own peace and happiness in spite of what might be going on with the chaos of addiction. And I really do believe most people out there have some relation to addiction in the sense that they must have a family member that struggles with addiction in their family. There has to be because it's much more common than we think.

But the premise there of one hour at a time, one day at a time. It's used in the sense that I believe for alcoholics, they do one day at a time that they have to be sober. So that it's not so daunting that they feel like they have to be sober for a lifetime, because that can be very overwhelming. So the idea that one hour at a time, one day at a time, in terms of coping with addiction.

But also you can use that same premise for let me just be here in the present moment, right now. Because this is my life as I know it. Like this is what's happening one hour at a time, one day at a time. These are the moments. And we're not going to love every single moment. But often we can find joy in the more annoying moments.

And I'll give an example. I'm not particularly a morning person. I don't love waking up at 6am, let's say. But on the mornings where I am in a rush and getting my kids out the door, dropping them to school and then going to work. I'm able to find joy throughout that process. And that process, like the process of the daily grind, that's not my favorite thing to do.

But I can wake up I can set an intention for the day. That creates presence for me and pause. Then I see my son and I give him a really long hug and I savor that. I savor hugging my daughter because she's still in her twos, but she'll be three in the spring and so she's still kind of a baby to me. So I savor the babyishness. Then we get the brushing teeth on which is not that fun.

And then it's breakfast time, which is okay. But during breakfast, we may engage with each other, make jokes, I enjoy that. Then let's say on the ride to school, maybe I'm tired, but I'll play music and we'll be enjoying the music. And then I say goodbye to each kid. And I savor that moment. I think transition moments are really important to connect with our children.

But the point is, though, those are not my favorite hours of the day and time when I'm in a rush in the morning and kind of ushering my children. I still am able to create pockets of joy throughout that process. So in the present moment, and so that is what I want to bring to your attention today. To really be able to live in the moment. To be able to cultivate joy and appreciate what's happening right now.

Even if you're not in a good mood. Even if it's an annoying task. Is there joy at any point? Because I bet you there will be. And even when we feel pain, and we're sad, and we cry. Most of the time. It's not like we're crying nonstop. You rarely will cry nonstop for 24 hours, right? There has to be a break in there where you feel some relief because you experienced the catharsis of tears. So my point is even pain, we perceive it as longer than it actually is.

Which is why we'll always say, oh, it's been a long day, because our perception of the day is long, because maybe it wasn't the most fun day. But our perception is not reality. The reality is, the crappy moments, were probably fewer and far between. I'm not talking with a big tragedy, I'm just talking about an annoying day. So maybe we had some few and far between bad moments, but our brains we decide to perseverate on the negative.

Because that's what we do. That is our tendency as human beings. We tend to focus on the negative. We scan the environment for threats, and then we tend to perseverate because we're no longer foraging in the forest. But our fight or flight mode gets activated. And we're in there perseverating on the negative so we can problem solve. When we really most of the time these days, you don't need to.

So if you can just be aware of the fact that we do have the negativity bias. Be aware of the fact that life is now. It's right now, in this moment, when you're listening this podcast. Maybe you're enjoying your drive, maybe you're on a walk or a run. You can get that fresh air perhaps. And this is it. Here and now. So remember that.

When you're having those joyous moments, bring yourself in say to yourself here and now, soak it in. Because this is it baby. These are the moments of our lives. And as you continue to practice this, you are going to cultivate so much joy and peace of mind.

So if you like this and you want to dive deeper into this work book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. I would love to work with you.

I work with professional moms to help them ditch exhaustion, ditch their stress, anxiety and really enjoy their lives and cultivate peace of mind no matter what in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.