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If your brain still whispers, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done,” you’re not alone.

High-achievers and caregivers alike have been conditioned to believe that love means carrying it all — every project, every person, every crisis. But what if that belief is quietly depleting the very ecosystem you’re meant to thrive in?

This week, Karlee invites us to explore what happens when we stop trying to be everything for everyone. She blends modern neuroscience and ancient wisdom to reveal how reciprocity — giving and receiving — restores balance in our lives.

In this episode, you’ll hear how over-functioning crept into our culture, why our brains are wired for mutual care, and three gentle practices that make it safe to be supported again. Plus, Karlee shares her first-ever public poem, “Root Among Roots,” a heartfelt reminder that we were never meant to hold the whole mountain alone.

If you’re ready to stop over-functioning and start belonging again, this is your invitation back to an ecosystem that holds you, too.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• (8:21) The poem that started it all: Root Among Roots.
• (12:45) What neuroscience reveals about giving and reciprocity.
• (18:30) Why asking for help isn’t weakness — it’s biology.
• (22:12) Three practical ways to restore balance and receive support.
• (28:40) How to practice boundaries that breathe — and still belong.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Poem: Root Among Roots by Karlee Fain

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Study: Inagaki TK, Bryne Haltom KE, Suzuki S, Jevtic I, Hornstein E, Bower JE, Eisenberger NI. The Neurobiology of Giving Versus Receiving Support: The Role of Stress-Related and Social Reward-Related Neural Activity. Psychosom Med. 2016 May;78(4):443-53. doi: 10.1097/PSY.0000000000000302. PMID: 26867078; PMCID: PMC4851591.

Retreat: Better Boundaries, Finally at Kripalu (Oct. 31 – Nov. 2)

People Mentioned in this Episode:

Dr. Tristen Inagaki

Mary Oliver

Adrienne Marie Brown

Dr. Maria Sirois

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Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.