The Enneagram Edge with Host Tracy O’Malley

Enneagram 9s are motivated by the need to be in harmony with the world, and at their best, 9s bring people together and bring out the best in all of us.

The downside to being a peacemaker is that 9s often silence their own voices to avoid conflict, which keeps them from building any real intimacy with anyone else.

In addition to being an Enneagram 9, my client Tricia is also a single mom who wore the ability to lead her family with stoicism as a badge of honor. But what was it costing her? And how is she integrating her typing now to use her voice and step into the light?

On this episode of The Leadership Formula, Tricia describes how she was staying busy so she didn’t have to feel, explaining why 9s shut down their own thoughts and feelings to keep the peace—to the detriment of their personal relationships and physical health.

We explore why it’s crucial for parents (especially boy moms) to model emotional intelligence for their kids and what Enneagram 9s can do to course correct when they’re avoiding vulnerability.

Listen in to understand how leaning into her 8 wing has helped Tricia find her voice personally and professionally, using her gifts as an adaptive peacemaker to support other women through the Starting Over Wealth Network!

What You Will Learn

Why we have to do our own inner work before we can help others
How Tricia was staying busy so she didn’t have to feel
How Enneagram 9s shut down their own thoughts and feelings to keep the peace to the detriment of their personal relationships
Why it’s crucial for parents to model emotional intelligence for their kids (especially boys)
Tricia’s AHA moment around the pros and cons of being a peacemaker
The physical consequences Tricia suffered from stuffing her own feelings
How leaning into her 8 wing helps Tricia use her voice
Why Tricia had avoided dating and what’s happened since she said YES to loving and being loved
How integrating what she’s learned about being a 9 has given Tricia direction in her business
What Tricia does to course correct when she’s avoiding vulnerability

Connect with Tricia

Starting Over Wealth Network:https://www.triciadaniel.com/
Text SOWN to 1-844-540-0415

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Secure Your Spot on the Get Down Waitlist: https://projectmewithtiffany.com/getdownwaitlist
Register for My Enneagram Typing Waitlist: http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Tiffany Carter: https://projectmewithtiffany.com/

How do you recognize when you (or someone you love, lead or parent) is stuck?

Hitting a plateau looks different for each Enneagram type. But you can learn to identify the warning signs and take steps TODAY to bust out of being stuck.

On this episode of The Leadership Formula, I describe what it looks like when each of the nine Enneagram types gets stuck, challenging you to reframe being stuck as an opportunity for growth.

I share my top five tips for getting unstuck regardless of your typing, discussing the power of doing a brain dump, getting outside (with no tech) and leaning on your inner circle when you hit a roadblock.

Listen in for insight on moving stagnant energy through your body and learn how to lead yourself through the stuck-ness and take the next steps forward in your life!

What You Will Learn

How being stuck provides us with an opportunity to grow
The payoff we get for perpetuating the behaviors that keep us stuck
What it looks like when each of the 9 Enneagram types gets stuck
My top 5 tips for getting unstuck (regardless of your typing)
Why slowing down is often the key to getting unstuck
How to move stagnant energy through your body
The value of doing a brain dump with pen and paper
Why it’s crucial to get outside with no electronics when you’re feeling stuck
How to build and lean on your inner circle when you’re stuck
The power of asking, ‘What’s the best that can happen?’

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Secure Your Spot on the Get Down Waitlist: https://projectmewithtiffany.com/getdownwaitlist
Schedule an Enneagram Typing Session with Me: http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Apply for My 3-Month 1:1 Coaching Program: http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/

The energy of an Enneagram 8 is big and powerful. And at our best, that power and strength is balanced with pure joy and vulnerability.

My client Austin shares my typing, and we started working together last summer. He was unhappy in his corporate job and looking to make the shift to network marketing full time.

And Austin had witnessed the results of my coaching firsthand through his wife, Monique. He decided that doing personal development together would support the legacy business they were building and strengthen their relationship as partners and parents.

On this episode of The Leadership Formula, Austin shares what he learned about himself through Enneagram typing, describing his breakthrough understanding around the 8’s longing for connection and how his intensity as was showing up in his parenting.

We explore how Austin is integrating what he learned in the transition from a corporate career to full-time entrepreneurship, explaining how he uses his wings to lean into his heart space and lead with compassion and empathy.

Listen in for insight around the Enneagram 8’s vulnerability blind spot and learn how working with an expert can help you integrate your typing and initiate positive change in your personal and professional life!

What You Will Learn

Why it’s better to lead by example than pressure your partner into personal development
What Austin learned about how a desire to look strong disrupts his longing for connection
How Austin’s intensity as an Enneagram 8 showed up in his parenting and kept his kids from being open with him
Austin’s work around being effective vs. being right (and disengaging when necessary)
How Austin is integrating what he learned in Enneagram coaching in the transition from corporate work to full-time entrepreneurship
How Austin uses his wings to lean into compassion and empathy
How true vulnerability requires raising your hand in a moment of need and why that’s a blind spot for the Enneagram 8
The value of working with an Enneagram expert to initiate positive change in your life

Connect with Austin

Austin on Instagram

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Secure Your Spot on the Get Down Waitlist: https://projectmewithtiffany.com/getdownwaitlist
Register for My Enneagram Typing Waitlist: http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Austin’s Wife Monique on The Leadership Formula EP145: https://podcasts.apple.com/gh/podcast/145-monique-live-coaching-how-this-enneagram-7-went/id1491541582?i=1000521237478
Vulnerability on The Leadership Formula EP144: https://podcasts.apple.com/gh/podcast/144-vulnerability-why-is-this-such-a-buzzword-right-now/id1491541582?i=1000520389792

Do you use the words pressure and stress interchangeably?

I thrive under pressure. And it helps me to manufacture a little of it to produce my best work.

But when I tip the scales too far, I put myself in a stressful situation and actually block myself from stepping into what I’m here to do.

So, what’s the difference between pressure and stress? And how can understanding that difference help us get what we want out of life?

On this episode of The Leadership Formula, I explain the critical distinction between stress and pressure, exploring how pressure is necessary to create something beautiful, while stress compromises our ability to pursue our calling.

I share my top strategies for managing stress and describe how making every inconvenience feel like a pressure situation takes a toll on our performance.

Listen in to understand how we our add stress to our lives based on our core fears and learn to use your Enneagram type to place healthy pressure on yourself to perform at your best!

What You Will Learn

The critical distinction between being under stress vs. being under pressure
Why pressure is necessary to create something beautiful
How your goal differs when you’re in stressful circumstances vs. a pressure situation
My top 2 options for managing stress (and why you don’t have options in a pressure situation)
How burying yourself under stress compromises your ability to pursue your calling
How making every inconvenience feel like a pressure situation takes a toll on your performance
How each Enneagram type adds stress to their lives based on their core fears
What you can do to reduce inappropriate reactions to stress based on your typing
How to place healthy pressure on yourself to perform at your best

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Secure Your Spot on the Get Down Waitlist: https://projectmewithtiffany.com/getdownwaitlist
Register for My Enneagram Typing Waitlist: http://tracyomalley.com/workwithme/

Becoming bulletproof is about standing on the frontline of your life, willing and able to take any and all hits that come your way—without it taking you out.

But you can’t become truly bulletproof until you learn to lead yourself. And being able to lead yourself well impacts your ability to lead others.

So, that’s why I’m rebranding Becoming Bulletproof as The Leadership Formula.

On this episode, I share what to expect from the show moving forward, describing what makes the Enneagram the greatest tool for leading yourself and how I’m integrating live coaching into the podcast.

I explain how I define leadership as bringing out the best in everyone you touch and why the first goal in leading others is to understand yourself, unpacking what drives you and what holds you back.

Listen in to understand how my definition of success has evolved over time and learn to show up as a leader in YOUR life by getting on the waitlist for my new Get Down collaboration with Tiffany Carter!

What You Will Learn

What inspired my rebrand from Becoming Bulletproof to The Leadership Formula
The relationship between the ability to lead yourself and becoming truly bulletproof
What to expect from The Leadership Formula podcast moving forward
How I’m integrating live coaching on the air into the podcast
What makes the Enneagram the greatest leadership tool for yourself
How I define leadership as bringing out the best in everyone you touch
How your environment informs your Enneagram type and the way you express your calling
Why the first goal in leadership is to unpack what drives you and what holds you back
How my definition of success has evolved to focus on being present
My upcoming collaboration with Tiffany Carter and how to guarantee your spot

Connect with Tracy

tracyomalley.com
www.instagram.com/tracy_omalley
www.facebook.com/tracy.omalley
twitter.com/TracyOMall
www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-o-malley/

Resources

Register for My Enneagram Typing Waitlist: tracyomalley.com/workwithme/
Secure Your Spot on the Get Down Waitlist: projectmewithtiffany.com/getdownwaitlist
Follow Tiffany Carter on Instagram: www.instagram.com/projectme_with_tiffany/

Do you remember the feeling you had when you first understood your Enneagram type?⁣
⁣
When you knew you’d landed properly, it may have felt like a whole new world opened up to you.⁣
⁣
Listen now⁣
⁣
⁣
When I was introduced to the Enneagram 10 years ago, I was mistyped as a 3.⁣
⁣
But there was something that happened when I was typed properly. It was like the sky opened up and I was given the secret code to understanding why I was the way I was.⁣
⁣
I started to look at myself through the eyes of honor and compassion instead of shame, guilt, and unworthiness.⁣
⁣
For me—and for so many people I work with—it feels like you’re being seen and known for the very first time.⁣
⁣
This is why, a lot of times when people do a typing session with me, they are super excited to understand their Enneagram type.⁣
⁣
But that excitement can quickly turn into unhelpful and even damaging behavior if you’re not careful. This happens when we start to type other people and put labels on them.⁣
⁣
That’s why it’s important to understand we need to use the Enneagram for our OWN personal transformations and journeys. It’s not our responsibility to use it on others.⁣
⁣
⁣
Quotes:⁣
0:38⁣
There’s something that happens when you are typed properly and it’s like the skies open up.⁣
⁣
3:01 ⁣
Understanding that the Enneagram is to be used for our OWN personal transformational journey.⁣
⁣
4:38⁣
People are made up of more than their personality, a lot more, and there are so many different factors and complexities to the enneagram that make them more than their core type.⁣
⁣
7:29⁣
Just because somebody is like an Enneagram 1, doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily a perfectionist or organization guru. ⁣
⁣
8:09⁣
You can use the Enneagram very very very effectively without knowing somebody’s Enneagram type. ⁣
⁣
10:32 ⁣
The Enneagram is an incredible tool to help you better understand those around you. ⁣
⁣
11:12⁣
I am very opinionated naturally but I have learned how to ask for permission first. ⁣
⁣
12:13 ⁣
Just because I know this in and out doesn’t mean I don’t have my own work to continuously do. ⁣
⁣
13:24 ⁣
Whenever you are triggered or something bothers you I want you to think of this— if I spot it, I got it. ⁣
⁣
14:22 ⁣
This is a beautiful, beautiful tool and sometimes when it’s used out of integrity you can turn people off from the very tool that can actually help them change their life. ⁣
⁣
15:01 ⁣
People who love the Enneagram, people who are new to it, it is the greatest tool I’ve ever used. ⁣

One of the greatest gifts of the Enneagram and the framework it provides is how it can serve you when life gets crazy.⁣
⁣
No one is immune to it—I don't care how much work you do on yourself.⁣
⁣
⁣
Listen now⁣
⁣
⁣
None of us are immune to life happening.⁣
⁣
2020 was okay for me because I’m more introverted by nature—the stay-at-home orders didn’t stress me out.⁣
⁣
However, when things started to open up again, that’s when I started to feel my stress levels elevate.⁣
⁣
I am so thankful for the Enneagram framework though, because I don’t get stuck in that stress, anxiety, and uncertainty for too long.⁣
⁣
Today, I’m going to go through all the Enneagram types and give each of you three tips to get out of a stress rut.⁣
⁣
The Enneagram tackles how stress can show up for us—it can turn us into a different Enneagram type altogether. It can make you feel unlike yourself, like a fish out of water. Here’s how to battle it.⁣
⁣
⁣
Quotes:⁣
0:26 ⁣
Life doesn't discriminate against you, 2020 proved that. ⁣
⁣
1:29 ⁣
Life is an ever evolving process until your time on earth is done; just raise your hand and say ‘I am here for it.’ ⁣
⁣
4:23 ⁣
Each Enneagram type has their like healthiest version.⁣
⁣
7:59 ⁣
If you have a hard time like me remembering much, be patient with yourself. ⁣
⁣
11:25⁣
Boundaries, so if you’re a 2, letting others know that you are taking time off to heal and work on some things for a while is going to be one of the hardest things you do.⁣
⁣
16:09 ⁣
For my 3s, your worth is so much more than what you do, achieve, or how you appear. ⁣
⁣
20:21 ⁣
There's a fine line between discernment of I need to let some steam off vs manic behavior. ⁣
⁣
26:22 ⁣
Under stress, a 7 can disintegrate into a type 1. ⁣
⁣
29:33 ⁣
An 8 disintegrates into the type 5 the investigators and we spend more time alone. ⁣
⁣
34:56 ⁣
Action will cure or at least help the stress of a nine⁣
⁣

You know what I love about the Enneagram framework?⁣
⁣
No matter what happens in life, you have a map to help get you back on track.⁣
⁣
⁣
Listen now⁣
⁣
⁣
Even with 20 years of personal development under my belt, nothing has kept me on track like the Enneagram.⁣
⁣
Not just in success, and not just as a parent, but in compassion, honor, and love.⁣
⁣
I just got back from a trip to Cancún with my best friend.⁣
⁣
She’s an Enneagram 6 and I’m an Enneagram 8. We both have strong recovery under our belt and she is one of the top business coaches in all the land.⁣
⁣
During our trip, we did some brainstorming.⁣
⁣
Before I even left, I felt restless and that I was playing small. We’ve talked for years now about doing something together, and the thing that was holding it back was me. I lacked belief in myself and didn’t want to let her down.⁣
⁣
But we’re pushing forward, sandwiching her and my best skill sets and bringing you the best of both of us. And the only reason we’re able to do this is because she is pushing me forward through my hidden struggles like no one else ever has.⁣
⁣
Listen to learn the hidden struggle of your own Enneagram type.⁣
⁣
⁣
Quotes:⁣
0:07 ⁣
You know what I love about the Enneagram framework is that no matter what happens in life, you have a map to help get you back on track. ⁣
⁣
4:10 ⁣
That's the beautiful part about having the right people in your life, you can say the hard things with love.⁣
⁣
5:21⁣
Know that in order to have an effective collaboration there has to be even energy exchange.⁣
⁣
8:24⁣
If you love Enneagrams 6's or lead them they have to talk everything out. ⁣
⁣
13:09 ⁣
When we know what motivates everything we do, you can do the 6 degrees of separation to understand what the real thing was that really . ⁣
⁣
16:03 ⁣
There is a fine line between serving from a place of no expectations and no significance from that vs you’re giving to get something. ⁣
⁣
20:18 ⁣
The 6’s they need certainty for all things.⁣
⁣
23:28 ⁣
With the 8’s the thing that keeps us playing small is that protective armor. ⁣
⁣
25:13 ⁣
For my Ennegrams 1’s, the reformers, the improvers, how they play small.. their gifts are also their downfall— their high standards and high integrity.⁣
⁣
27:05 ⁣
Having a guide take you through this is SUPER powerful.⁣
⁣

Today we’re talking to someone I’ve taken through the typing process.⁣
⁣
Marissa is an Enneagram 6, and 6s don’t like to be blindsided by things—but I’m a go-rogue type of person naturally.⁣
⁣
⁣
Listen now⁣
⁣
⁣
In fact, she was up at 3am wondering what we were going to talk about.⁣
⁣
I like when 6s lean into their healthy 9 (their growth number). If she wasn’t healthy, me not sending her these questions ahead of time could've really spun her out.⁣
⁣
Enneagram 6s are the ones that need to know, have spreadsheets for 3-10 scenarios, and will always have your back—more so than anyone.⁣
⁣
“This brain never stops,” Marissa tells me. “It doesn’t necessarily come out of my mouth, but my brain is always going. I used to keep it all inside when I was an unhealthy version of myself, but now I speak a lot more than I used to.”⁣
⁣
So why was she up at 3am?⁣
⁣
“Things that were going through my mind at 3am: What if she asks me about my story? What story do I tell? What version? What part of my story will I talk about? Who wants to know what? What if she asks me something and I’m stumped?”⁣
⁣
I know there are a lot of you that probably relate to this even if you’re not an Enneagram 6. But 6s tend to run through worst case scenarios—which makes them great troubleshooters but can also paralyze them.⁣
⁣
⁣
Quotes:⁣
1:56 ⁣
Having a best friend that’s a 6 in my life, I had to really alter how I you know kinda run my show here like myself. ⁣
⁣
6:40 ⁣
For a lot of people, having certainty is more important than the unknown. ⁣
⁣
12:54 (Marissa) ⁣
I would say paralyzed is like the word of what I was when I was in my toxic marriage ⁣
⁣
17:08 ⁣
When you have so much uncertainty in your day to day life, an Enneagram 6 will focus on the things they can control and hyperactively do that. ⁣
⁣
24:05⁣
If you are a 6, being able to communicate why you need to have these questions answered especially if you're in healthy relationships is key. ⁣
⁣
30:47 ⁣
It’s really important to not just understand your type but all the moving parts of it, it’s not complicated but it is complex.⁣
⁣
33:34 ⁣
Use your wings, to your advantage to help push you into your Enneagram growth number. ⁣
⁣
38:34 (Marissa)⁣
Feed into the “what if’s” in the positive way, there’s so many amazing opportunities on the other side of that courageous act. ⁣
⁣
41:35 ⁣
Start building a healthy case of reminders of when courage really honored you and things for your life. ⁣
⁣
43:22 ⁣
When I had more compassion for myself I was able to freely give that to other people.⁣
⁣

I’m fresh off a celebration of life for a very dear friend of mine for 20 years.⁣
⁣
I felt compelled while it was still fresh on my heart to share.⁣
⁣
⁣
⁣
Listen now⁣
⁣
⁣
I’ve learned a lot about myself this week.⁣
⁣
Real vulnerability is showing up when you don’t know what it’s going to look like. And as I record this, I have zero notes in front of me.⁣
⁣
In death, in grief, I’ve learned a lot about how I show up for myself and others.⁣
⁣
This episode is for those of you who are intrigued by the Enneagram and want to know what it can really do for you.⁣
⁣
I can’t imagine how I might have shown up had I not used the Enneagram in these last two weeks.⁣
⁣
The Enneagram helped me with self-awareness and awareness of others. Therefore, I thought I could share this life lesson with you, my dear listeners.⁣
⁣
When we love, lead, and care about others, we need to show up for other people the way they need us to show up—especially when they’re grieving.⁣
⁣
⁣

Quotes:⁣
0.56⁣
Real vulnerability is showing up when you don’t know what it’s going to look like. ⁣
⁣
2:21⁣
This is way more than about the Enneagram is how we use it to spread love.⁣
⁣
10:12⁣
It is to your advantage to learn what we can, using the wisdom of the Enneagram that we can grieve in ways that are life giving. ⁣
⁣
12:49⁣
When I’m grieving, especially in the most healthy way that I am right now, there’s some things that I don’t like learning about myself. ⁣
⁣
14:39⁣
If you don’t step into your own awareness in the most healthy version of yourself, then it’s possible to carry on grieving for the rest of your life. ⁣
⁣
15:45 ⁣
Grieving does heal you and grows you if you allow it to. ⁣
⁣
19:28 ⁣
You can’t fix grief, you just have to go through it.⁣
⁣
21:34 ⁣
Type 3’s move into their unhealthier 9 when they stress and grieve. ⁣
⁣
24:13 ⁣
The 5’s in grief and loss want to have clarity before making decisions and they want to avoid the excess emotions.⁣
⁣
28:07⁣
A 7 moves into an unhealthy 1 under extreme stress.⁣