How do you give your readers everything they're looking for?

And your agent? You have to feed the beast don't you? (Is calling agents 'The Beast' too offensive?)

It's your job as a writer to offer up precisely what your readership is looking for. Anything else and you risk losing your commercial edge.

And we can't have that can we?

Oh we can?

Oh... OK.

We met up with the wonderful Doug Johnstone, to hear how he refuses to be pigeoned-holed, writes what he likes, and just so happens to say what he like too - and yes, by that, I mean he swears quite a lot.

Some great advice in this chat about the importance of loving what you write and worrying about it later. Plus lots of other entertaining advice too. Get it into your ear'oles now!

And a big THANKS to Scrivener for sponsoring this season of the podcast!

THANK YOU SCRIVENER!

If you haven't tried Scrivener, you can sample their lovely wares for free for 30 days.

OR you could just blummin well take our advice and buy a copy! and using our special code you can get 20% off!

I know. Mental.

You're welcome.

Just go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/ and use the code failing.

Right. That's the Christmas presents sorted. Have a great festive celebration, happy new year and see you on the other side for Season 6!

Buy Doug's books

https://orendabooks.co.uk/authors/doug-johnstone

More Doug:

https://dougjohnstone.com/

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The second stop on our literary whistle stop tour of Edinburgh is The Writers Museum in Makars Court.

Focussing on the three writers generally considered to be the great Titans of Scottish Literature: Robbie Burns, Sir Walter Scott & Robert Louis Stevenson.

We have a wander round, read some poetry and look into why these fellas are so revered.

We also go on a literary pub tour and have a chat with actor Mike Daviot, who just so happened to be an absolute font of knowledge about poetry and the Scots language.

Turns out literary pub tours are one of our favourite kinds of tour! Now who could have guessed that?!

So hop on board the Failing Writers Tour Bus and join us for a fascinating, if admittedly wholly inadequate look at three of the greatest writers, not just of Scotland, but the world.

The Writer's Museum:

https://cultureedinburgh.com/our-venues/writers-museum

The Literary Pub Tour we enjoyed:

https://www.edinburghliterarypubtour.co.uk/

Tam o' Shanter:

http://www.robertburns.org.uk/Assets/Poems_Songs/tamoshanter.htm

Hopefully that's inspired you to take a closer look at the poems and novels of these absolute titans. More than that, maybe it's encouraged you to have a go yourself.

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Ahoy there, you weary word-wanderer. You found us. Finally!  Thank goodness.

Welcome to the Failing Writers Podcast. Think of us as your writing harbour.

Your safe haven.

Your Lighthouse.

Come and moor here for a while and have your brain de-barnacled by the glorious mind of poet Michael Pederson.

Writer, linguaphile, Edinburgh Makar and all-round inspirational wordsmitherizer.

And once you’ve been inspired… time to get involved and write something wonderful yourself.

But hang on… before you do… you might want to consider the fantastic writing software Scrivener? An app that makes writing novels, plays, screenplays, poetry and all the other stuff soooo much easier.

Plus we’ve got a special code you can use at https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener to get yourself a majestic 20% off. Our little gift to you for being awesome.

FAILING

(That’s the code btw, I’m not just shouting FAILING! at you.  That would be mean)

And now you’ve listened to Michael, I’ll bet you want all his essential info?...

Yep. Thought so.

Insta:  @michaelpedersonoyster

Go see Michael live:

https://www.michaelpedersen.co.uk/events

Buy Muckle Flugga:

https://linktr.ee/muckleflugga

Buy Boy Friends:

https://linktr.ee/boyfriendsbook

Other stuff:

https://www.michaelpedersen.co.uk

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Hello writers. Just when you thought the competition was all wrapped up… this week we look at the almost-winners of our big annual comp.

Yep, these are the brilliant writers who made the shortlist, but didn’t quite manage to snaffle a place on Sarah’s podium.

And here are those five wondrously wizard-like word weavers:

Kieran Ahern

Jonathon Davies

Steven Stilbech

Stuart James Taylor

Jasmine Sears

Well done to them all, and keep an eye out for them in future!

All we need do now I think, is thank our beaaauuutiful sponsor Scrivener, without whom there would be no competition frankly. Or there would, but the prize would be a bag of chips, a pack of Dairylea Triangles and some post-it notes.  So… you know…

Thank you very much Scrivener!

Who, aside from being a bunch of lovely people, also happens to be a really fantastic bit of writing software which you can secure for 20% less than the usual price, simply by using the code FAILING at checkout

Just go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com

Finally a massive well done to all of you who wrote one or more stories.

You’re all winners in our book.

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Lovers of flash fiction… prepare to have your ears blown into absolute blummin smithereens, because this episode is the big reveal of the winners of our annual writing competition, and there’s FIVE HUNDRED SQUIDS up for grabs. Which, as I’m sure you’ll agree, is a serious amount of squids.

Think of all the ink you could buy.

So, come on in, and hear the traditional ‘YOU’RE ALL WINNERS SONG’, listen to Sarah Lewis from Writers HQ pick a winner, some runner-uppers and a couple of honourable mentions to boot and then follow that up by immersing yourself in the unbelievably high quality of 1st, 2nd & 3rd place.

But before you do all that…  just think.  One of them could be yours!

There’s only one way to find out though, and I’m not daft enough to give the game away and write them here in the show notes…  so you’d best get listening instead.

Big thanks again to Sarah and the excellent Writers HQ:

https://writershq.co.uk

Also a massive thanks to our amazing competition sponsor - the esteemed writing app, Scrivener!

Don't forget to pick up your copy NOW. Go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/ - use the code failing & you can get 20% off! Whoop. Get in! Early Christmas present to yourself.

And finally... huge congratulations to our winner.

Whoever that might be.

And don’t forget to join us next week, when we’ll be hearing more First Class, A-Grade, Top Shelf….  Flash Gorge-uns.

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So, here we are again for the actually now offically award winning Failing Writers Podcast.

You were perhaps hoping this was the competition reveal episode weren’t you?

Well, look, it’s not that one… not yet, however, we’ve got a little treat for you today. ’Specially for long time fans of the podcast.

Someone we’ve had on before and was a delight from start to finish.

Someone who's just self published a book, and has come to talk to us all about their experiences of putting a book out into the world, all on their own*

Anyway, I won’t say any more in case I ruin the surprise, but you should definitely have a listen.

What I will say though, is that our mystery guest is also a genuine fan of Scrivener.

And if you’d like to join the thousands of people who swear by the wonderful writing app Scrivener, why not go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener

and download it now!

It’s currently only £55 - which is already a bargain, BUT if you’d like 20% off on us - simply use the code failing at checkout and it will only cost you… wait… quick bit of arithmetic… erm… roughly… wait… is it £44?

I think so!

So that’s blummin great innit?

Anyway… if you like the sound of our guest’s book… you can purchase it right here: https://amzn.eu/d/eKujSNA

Please do support the indie book world! It makes a helluva difference to your fellow writers, as I’m sure you know.

*OK, maybe not entirely on their own.

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Maps? What's that got to do with writing?

Men? How are they relevant in 2025? Oh no… wait … Er.

OK... let me explain what’s going on today... by introducing you

to (another) 2 handsome and charismatic young men.

Jay Foreman – comedian, singer songwriter (bloody great songs-look em up!) & Map-enthusiast.

And Mark Cooper-Jones – Ex-geography teacher, producer & comedian. Both… now… primarily You-Tubers.  (Ha! because that’s a real job.)

Together, they are… Map Men.  An absolutely genius bit of infotainment, which I’m willing to bet my last rolo, that you will love:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfxy4_sBQdxy3A2lvl-y3qWTeJEbC_QCp

Tell me I’m wrong! I dare you!

But, right… and here’s the important bit….  they’ve written a book! A brilliant book, which like their show is both brain-engorging and extremely funny.

Here’s a link to purchase several copies for yourself, your family & friends: 

https://lnk.to/mapmen

And while we’re on the subject of books. Have you ever tried writing one?

It’s bloody difficult isn’t it?

Yeah. Seriously.  Who knew?

So may I be so bold as to recommend that you try using Scrivener. It has more features than you’ll ever need! However that does mean that if you do need one, Scrivener has got it!

It just makes writing easier.  Not just for books either, but also for plays and screenplays and radio plays and non-fiction and stuff.

PLUS – if you go to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener

You can make 20% of the price of Scrivener completely disappear by using the magic word “failing” at checkout. (You could even simultaneously imagine that you’re a flamboyant 80s stage magician with a white tiger and an open collared shirt while you do it, if that’s the kind of thing you enjoy doing.)

And then – our HYPEWRITER feature! Where you send us something you’ve written that you’re proud of and then we go and celebrate the living babaganoosh out of it.

(If you’d like to join in, just send a bit of writing - roughly 5 – 8 mins-worth - to [email protected] – explain what it is, why you wrote it and a bit about yourself and you could feature on the pod!)

This week we introduce the extraordinarily talented Aaron J Courts, who sent us a lovely piece called Pass & Review.

You can find out more about Aaron here:

https://aaroncourts.substack.com

And behold. The shownotes are done for another episode.

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You know those writers who seem to have managed effortlessly to harness the awesome power of social media to hook increasing numbers of readers into their gravitational pull?

Well good for them!

No but seriously, wouldn’t it be fascinating to talk to someone who’s become an actual viral sensation themselves and find out what their strategy was?

(That’s your cue to stop reading and crack on with listening to this episode btw.)

BUT WAIT, THESE CAPITAL LETTERS STOPPED YOU IN YOUR TRACKS DIDN’T THEY?

Well that’s good, because now I can tell you all about our sponsor, the indispensable writing app: Scrivener!

The writing app that you can get 20% off! by going to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener and using the code: failing

(I promise you won’t regret it.)

So there you go. How to blow up on TikTok? A chat with a lovely writer? Some great advice about not reading reviews?  A discount of some amazing writing software? What more could you want?

Ah you want to know how to get your hands on a copy of Autumn’s excellent romance novel?

OK. Fair enough. Should have seen that coming.

Just click on this link…

https://www.authorautumnwoods.com

What? You still want more?  Wow… you’re in quite a demanding mood today aren’t you?

Well… you’re in luck, m’friend.  Cos this week in our regular Hype-Writer feature we’ve got a darkly disturbing but excellent little extract from last year’s flash fiction competition winner, Katie Holloway!

She’s promised to post more of Cups of Tea at the End of the World on her substack – so keep your eyes peeled here:

https://substack.com/@loseyourselfbooks

Right. Ya happy now?

Phew.

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Finally.

I know, I know.

It's that time of year we all look forward to.

The leaves begin to loosen their grip. The sky is pregnant with it's autumnal offerings.

Jon gets poetic.

But aside from all that - it's the bloody Failing Writers Five Hundred Pound Flash Fiction Competition, in association with Scrivener!

That's the bit we're really all excited about.

That's when Tommy and I hunker down, curl up and bask in your beautiful little stories.

(I'm not even joking here, it genuinely is a joyful experience.)

So have a listen to the episode - find out everything you need to know in order to enter the competition, including the little phrase you have to include in your story... and be in with a chance of winning that 500 squids!

This years judge is the delightful Sarah Lewis from writers HQ.

Sign up now for a whole smorgasbord of helpful stuff. Workshops. Advice. Masterclasses. and of course the brilliant (and free!) Flash Face Off. Which we urge you to join in with - After all, it could be the thing that takes your flash piece from great to really blummin' marvellous!

https://writershq.co.uk/

Finally we wrap things up with an unusual but brilliant bit of poetry from the very talented free-styling-street-poet: Isaiah Frati.

check him out here:

Insta: @___reaver

And finally... A GIGANTIC THANK YOU to our wonderful sponsor Scrivener yet again, for sponsoring the podcast, and the competition.

If you'd like to get your hands on the writing software that really matters - get yourself to https://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivener/overview

and get 20% off with the code: failing

Right.

Go on then... crack on! You've got until midday October 24th. We can't wait to read your submissions!

Good luck.

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Aaaaand PART 2:

This week we're looking at the extremes of the indie publishing industry.

From the fantastic BlueMoose Books...

https://bluemoosebooks.com

Where we speak to founder, Kevin Duffy about the highs and... well... mostly highs to be honest... of being a very successful indie publisher.

Right over to the very opposite end of the spectrum, where our second

guest, Janeen, tells us about the very ugly experience she had when approached

by a 'so called publisher'.

Followed by a discussion about the various publishing scams designed to part well intentioned writers from their cash - and how to avoid them.

And now's a good time as any to mention that this series of The Failing Writers Podcast is sponsored very kindly by Scrivener.

Fancy trying their world class writing software?

Then get yourself over to https://www.literatureandlatte.com for a month's free trial.

and if you use the code: failing … then hey presto, bish bash bosh, bob’s yer uncle...

you'll get 20% OFF!

Also, please consider supporting the writers and publishers

mentioned in these 2 episodes!

Here are Janeen’s links: Including a link to the book that nearly cost her a lot of money - the very same book featured on Hype-writer this week! Dot Exe.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dot-Exe-Janeen-Leese-Taylor-ebook/dp/B0DV7DZ9YL

https://x.com/InkAndSmudge?t=QRkcSP-WtYQy3ymoVfpfow&s=09

https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/author/B0BLP33ZVY

And here’s a couple of brilliant online resources mentioned in the ep:

A list of known scammers:

https://writerbeware.blog/scam-archive/

Including the company that tried to scam Janeen:

https://writerbeware.blog/2023/12/01/author-complaints-at-l-r-price-publications-ltd/

And Jill’s Book Café, with a list of indie publishers:

https://jillsbookcafe.blog/independent-publishers/

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