The Failing Writers Podcast

Should you treat yourself to a writing retreat?

If you did it twice would you be re-treating yourself to a writing retreat?

If you tweeted about treating yourself to a writers retreat would you be tweeting your re-treat of retreating to a retreat?

And if you then re-tweeted your...

OK, I'll stop.

Tom & Jon not only answer the first of these pressing questions, but as they disappear into the wilderness (sort of) to sample a writers' retreat, they seek to answer the biggest question of all.

The one that's been haunting them for as long as they've been doing this podcast.

Can they actually knuckle down and write for 2 and a half days straight? No social media. No boxsets. No 'nipping to the pub for one' and then accidentally spending the entire afternoon there?

...

What?

Well I'm obviously not going to tell you am I?

Of course not.

What do you mean, I'm being a tease? That's what these bits of blurb are for! to tease you in.

Oh stop arguing and hit play.

Here's where we went:

https://writersretreatuk.co.uk/2023/01/our-own-venue-the-retreat-at-the-kings-arms/

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Are you querying? or nearly querying? Maybe you’re fearing querying? Or merely getting weary and a bit teary querying? Well let’s hear from three writers who’ve been down in those querying trenches for a while now.

Find out how they're approaching it, what agents' responses have been like and how they’re holding up under pressure.

Because when it comes to finding an agent, it’s more often than not, a long and painful process. No matter how talented a writer you are.

Byddi Lee:

Byddi’s website:

https://www.byddilee.com

Byddi's Books:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Byddi-Lee/author/B00OICWYUU?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_3&qid=1726051761&sr=1-3&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

Özgür Uyanık:

Short stories MEN ALONE

https://www.parthianbooks.com/products/men-alone-short-stories?_pos=1&_sid=53c734e1d&_ss=r

Short story from the collection, BANTER:

https://nation.cymru/culture/short-story-banter/

Novel CONCEPTION:

https://www.fairlightbooks.co.uk/conception/

THREADS

https://www.threads.net/@liberatedsleepless

SUBSTACK

https://ozguruyanik.substack.com

Mari Stewart:

Mari’s website:

https://mari-stewart.com

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... What? Did 2 weeks just fly by since the last episode? No flippin' way.

Time, I think, we had a chat about time. The fact that there's never enough of it. Especially for writing.

Why is that?

Well Oliver Burkeman might just have some answers.

Prepare to face the subject of time and limitation face-on.

Get ready to completely re-think how we view those precious hours, minutes and seconds. And ask... 'what would happen if we spent less of it worrying about the fact it's running out, and more of it just... being in it.'

Or even becoming time itself?

Might this shift in thinking actually help us stop procrastinating? and start spending more of our time doing the things that actually matter?

Hopefully, yes.

But what does actually matter?

You might have to answer that one yourself.

Regardless, whatever you do, you should definitely spend the next forty five minutes wasting your time listening to Oliver Burkeman.

Get a load of Oliver's brilliant 400 Weeks here:

https://www.oliverburkeman.com/fourthousandweeks

Get free incredible anti-procrastinatory tips here:

https://www.oliverburkeman.com/posts

And get Oliver's sparkly, life changing new book here:

https://www.oliverburkeman.com/meditationsformortals

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Well, that’s the summer hiatus done with - and we're back with an episode which asks the question, "how do you know if your writing is good enough?"

In an attempt to answer that question, we’re going to be looking at a couple of Tom’s flash fiction stories and asking if, why, and how, one of them is slightly less rubbish than the other. Both stories were entered into the same competition, but only one of them got published. Can Dave guess which one is which? Can YOU guess which one is which? Well, to answer either of those questions, you're gonna have to have a listen, aren't you!

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Do you have what it takes to quit your day job and follow your dreams to become a full time author?

Well, there's only one way to find out...and that's to listen to our interview with J C Duncan!

Hear how he bravely decided to give himself a year to become a professional writer and, even bravelier, decided to tell everyone about it!

Plus home made knives, Vikings and our usual top quality chat!

Find out more about our most excellent guest (and check out that sword!) HERE: www.jcduncan.co.uk.

Buy his Vikingly books here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/J-C-Duncan/author/B08WCYR1DR

And check out his #oneyeartopro threads here:

https://x.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1707002271010079150

https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1708465357424365671

https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1719670719628358012

https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1732823188453650477

https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1741821890270798104

https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1753131464768532959

https://x.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1755575800626073768

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A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet...but would he have written that line if he wasn't called Shakespeare?

This week Jon, Tom and Dave (or possibly Rod, Jane and Freddy) look into pseudonyms, nom-de-plumes, pen names...and basically just being someone else for a bit.

Does your name affect your chances of success? Does it even have an impact on how you write?

Join us to find out as the Failing Writers try to become the not-so-failing writers....for at least one chapter.

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A change is in the air here at Failing HQ. A scent on the wind, a signal that the new dawn will herald the arrival of long overdue success.

This week, not only do Tom and Jon have a lovely chat with acclaimed author and current Richard and Judy Book Club pick Mike Gayle...but Jon also discusses his submissions to some actual writing competitions. AND Tom talks a bit more about the book he's actually published!

Oh, and Dave's there too.

Mike's latest novel:

A Song of Me and You: a heartfelt and romantic novel of first love and second chances, picked for the Richard & Judy Book Club

https://amzn.eu/d/2DqUyK9

Or see more at www.mikegayle.co.uk

"Under A Blood Red Sun" from Aaron Brooks in our WIP up a storm feature.

TOM'S BOOK - If you can't be bothered to go to Amazon and put in "Two Hour Sales Bible" then here's a link to it - GO AND BUY IT!

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If we were really clever, we'd have written the show notes for this week's episode in the form of a cryptic crossword clue in honour of our guest, Samuel Burr.

We spoke to him about his debut novel "The Fellowship of Puzzle Makers", his frankly unbelievable journey to getting published and even had a chat about all things cryptic.

But, unfortunately, we're not really clever...so we didn't.

Which makes Tom's incredible publishing news even more puzzling!

Find Sam's already bestselling novel here

Or... if you're feeling adventurous, join an exclusive club and be one of the few to buy a copy of Tom's hilarious satire on the world of sales and salespeople...

PAPERBACK - KINDLE - AUDIO BOOK

Here's the link to Writers HQ - Write a Novel Month

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The average age of our guests this week is 64. Nothing too amazing about that you might say… until you find out the first of our two guests is in her mid-twenties! This week we ask, “Is there a best age to write?”

Plus we enjoy a WIP from Geoffrey G N Harrison.

And here’s a load of links…

Check out Aline’s YouTube here!

Here's Aline's Toktok

Here's Babette's new book and her website: https://www.babettehughesbooks.com

And you can read more of Geoff's story "Divided" here!

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Would you like a pun? Well, that's handy because this week we've been punning for gold and ended up with a bucket load.

Director, writer and stand up comedian Darren Walsh chats to us about his career, the art of a good pun and whether AI will ever be funnier than him.

Plus Jon comes up with what is almost certainly not an entirely new form of joke!

Find out more about Darren here...

https://darrenwalsh.co.uk

Here's Darren doing his award winning joke (and some others)

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