Shine those shoes and dust off that penmanship medal! It’s time for some serious damaged blond children talk. This week, Christine and Emily go way back to the dawn of evil kid filmdom with 1956’s The Bad Seed. Fast-forward two decades and some seriously redesigned wallpaper for David Cronenberg’s The Brood. We do go deep into the ending of The Bad Seed, and go into a fair amount of detail on The Brood, so listen closely to our spoiler warnings to protect your little ears. Join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter @femininepodcast. We’ll be back next month with some PUNISH.

Step up to the plate for some terrible baseball puns! This week, Emily gives Christine the best birthday present ever by making her watch movies that she has little interest in. Leading off is the Costner/Sarandon/Robbins extravaganza Bull Durham, a film that makes the grossest use of Wheaties you’ve ever seen. Up next is 1993’s The Sandlot, which has a really awesome dog. Join the conversation over at our Facebook group, providing your bring your own glove and run out the grounders. Also, LET’S GO METS!

Cheerio ladies, gentlemen, and gov'nahs! On this especially British episode, Christine and Emily offend a nation or two with incredibly terrible accents. What else can you do when the topics are 2004’s King Arthur and 2013’s A Field In England? Share your thoughts in proper dialect over at our Facebook group. Ta-ta!

We’re such generous podcasters that this week, Christine and Emily give you not one but TWO gifts…or at least, two films called The Gift. First up is Sam Raimi’s 2000 southern psychic thriller, followed by Joel Edgerton’s directorial debut. Share your own gifts with us over on Facebook or via Twitter @femininepodcast. Just try to include your gift receipt. We’re very picky.

Crop that top and lather on your tanning oil for an extremely special episode. Thanks to the swarthy goodness of the GGtMC, Christine and Emily greet the Sleazy Summer Sexy Spectacular pod-a-thon with 1979’s eyeball popping Beyond the Darkness and 1985’s also-eyeball popping post-apocalyptic weirdness The Afterman. It’s…odd. Don’t forget to hop into that podcasting convertible and take the full-out sleaze tour, making stops at Cult of Muscle, The Trashy Trio, Hammicus, Married With Clickers, Silva & Gold, and of course, dat GGtMC. Just don’t forget to pack a few wet ones in the glove compartments. Things might get sticky.

On this very special, very long episode about love, obsession, and sticky things, the ladies are joined by the one and only FozzieBare to tackle two very special films about inappropriate love. First up is 1987’s Making Mr. Right, a movie that makes us all question what exactly an android is and if one can survive on protein toothpaste. Later, they delve into the fascinating mess that was to be Ellen DeGeneres’s big screen takeover, Mr. Wrong. It’s weird. And kind of horrifying. But also a little fabulous. Join us for these things and more, including a whole lot of Elizabeth Rohm blond lesbian imitations. Remember to join the film discussions over at our Facebook page and harass us into action on Twitter @femininepodcast. Also, stay away from anybody that reads poetry to you in bed. They’re monsters that need to be put down.

Man oh man, did Christine and Emily cover two movies with the word “man” in its title this week! First up is Sam Raimi’s 1990 cinematic comic book Darkman, followed by the recent Best Picture winner Birdman: Or, (a really stupid long pretentious title). Also on the agenda is Christine’s love of Scary Movie 5, lots of praise for Ashley Tisdale, a whole lot of Mike Flanagan talk, and other random bits of nonsense. Pizza.net for everybody we say! Agree? Disagree? Come to Facebook and we’ll fight/love it out.

On this very special episode, Emily disowns Christine when she doesn’t agree that WALL-E is the greatest film of the last twenty years. It’s not quite as intense as all of that, but they do blow up the sun, Sunshine style. Watch out for cockroaches and enjoy.

Let’s face it: not all Thors can be Chris Hemsworth. Some have to settle for measly ol’ Vincent Philip D'Onofrio status, while others can soar through the annals of cinematic history via the vessel of wonderment that is Zachery Ty Bryan. Which do you prefer? Listen to Christine and Emily tackle two very different classics, 1987’s Adventures In Babysitting and 2009’s bizarro SyFy special Thor: Hammer of the Gods. Now break out your checkbook, dust off your mjolnir, and start your vocal warmups because noboby leaves this place without singing the blues (or sharing your thoughts on our Facebook group)

Pack your best sun hat and cleaning supplies! We’re taking a trip to Stepford, CT, with a brief layover in Dark City. If you behave, maybe we’ll even stop for a tan in Shell Beach. Do you know how to get there? Hopefully our special guest host Elwood Jones of the Mad, Bad & Downright Strange Podcast will be able to navigate. After all, Christine and Emily are just useless human females! Tell them what bad housewives they are over at the Facebook Page. Tupperware & cookbook recommendations are welcome!