Grab your gun! Grab your cat! Grab your assortment of stylish cropped wigs! On this episode, Christine and Emily visit Luc Besson's 1990 La Femme Nikita and Richard Donner's 1995 Assassins. Expect lots of bad French accents, not to be confused with our smoldering Antonio Banderas accents that sound a little French. Be sure to share your opinions on the movies over at our Facebook page and remember: adopt, don't buy. Silly Julianne Moore...

Here it is, folks: our big ol’ list of our fifty favorite movies. EVER. Listen. Judge. Enjoy.

Crack open that Miller Lite and head to your nearest classy blue collar modern sexy dance bar for our latest episode, where the ladies learn a few new moves, fashion tricks, and that how the best way to snag Channing Tatum is to be absolutely miserable. First up is 1983’s cultural landmark Flashdance, the film that finally pairs figure skating to an ‘80s power ballad the way Emily has always dreamed. Next is the more recent, less sweatshirt-filled Magic Mike, the movie that finally lets Christine realize her true crush on Kevin Nash. One of these things is true, but you’ll have to listen to figure that out. Share your best welding stories on our Facebook page and enjoy!

Look in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's something that will turn you into dust/zombie/split version of yourself! These are things we learn when we tackle 1984's cult classic Night of the Comet and 2013's sci-fi experiment Coherence. Special semi-regular guest star Erica joins Emily and Christine to dig through the glory of a good shopping montage. Come share your thoughts and timeline issues on our Facebook page, 100% comet-free since 2012!

What do you do if your father is famous for creating vaginal openings in places they don’t belong? Why, make your OWN vaginal openings in NEW places they don’t belong of course! In case you haven’t guessed, this is the Cronenberg show where the ladies tackle David’s 1996 sexy car accident extravaganza Crash and son Brandon’s 2012 Antiviral. Also, there’s some Step Up talk because OBVIOUSLY. Stop by our Facebook group to share your own thoughts on Canada’s most normal family ever. Also, watch our for pedestrians. They matter.

Is that alien space sex glue, or is it just another episode of The Feminine Critique? Christine and Emily reunite for a Jonathan Glazer double feature, covering 2004’s Birth and 2014’s Under the Skin. It’s not quite as exciting as watching a gorilla drink a martini, but really, what is? Share your thought on our Facebook page and guys, remember: just because she’s beautiful is not a reason to succumb to alien space sex glue. You’re welcome.

Loosen that Rolex and pump some iron: it’s Christmas! On their second annual holiday spectacular, Christine and Emily get into the spirit with 1988’s action classic Die Hard and 1996’s comedic masterpiece (cough cough) Jingle All the Way. There’s also some talk about the politics involved with making hairdresser conversation. Answer a few of our burning questions over at our Facebook page, and be sure to have a wonderful holiday season, even if your only real celebration is selling a few mattresses.

Don’t believe in oil slicks? Perhaps you will after our latest episode, where Christine and Emily give their short attention spans the gift they need with two horror anthology sequels. On the docket? 1987’s Creepshow 2 and the recent V/H/S 2. You can pretend the musical breaks are our own version of a wraparound. Come share your thoughts on the films over at our Facebook page and remember: Christine’s novel Wake Up, Maggie is now available on Amazon.com. Also of note: our co-fundraiser with The Macho Bullshit Podcast. To hear our next episode on A League of Their Own and The Rage: Carrie 2, send proof of your $10 minimum donation to any domestic abuse charity to [email protected]. Lend a helping hand and get baseball advice in the process. It’s a total win/win.

We interrupt this lack of anything with two very special announcements: Christine has a BOOK! It’s on Amazon. It’s called Wake Up, Maggie and you should go get it in electronic or print version. Our second bit of news involves a very special fundraiser headed out by Tyler of The Macho Bullshit Podcast. Tyler is teaming up with The Cult of Muscle and US to deliver exclusive podcast episodes available to any listener who donates this month to a charity supporting victims of domestic violence. Listen to these ten minutes for details. We’ll be back this week with our horror anthology show. In the meantime, go read! And donate! And watch out for ghosts. They’re out there…

Christine and Emily are joined by Erica to discuss–in full spoiler glory–Gone Girl, both the book and the film. Expect a lot of “it was different in the book” talk. More importantly, the ladies visit the very underlooked 2001 thriller Domestic Disturbance. Can you BELIEVE no one’s ever heard of this movie? (Spoiler alert: yes, yes you totally can.) Join the discussion over at our Facebook page and eat a few Fritos along the way.