The FIERCE Framework - Becoming fierce through messy action, baby steps, & cultivating confidence.

I want to encourage you to reframe how it can feel when you’re taking those initial steps and it doesn’t feel how you expected it to feel. 

What if you let yourself be a beginner? It’s normal to not be good at something that you’re just starting to try at. You get better by practicing, not by thinking about it. 

Most people discouraging you from doing the thing you want to do are usually projecting onto you the reasons they’ve held themselves back. 

You might be inspiring the same person who is questioning or criticizing you. 

We can’t count on the reactions of other people to convince us to keep pursuing our dreams. Remember you’re pursuing your dream. Are you really seeking the validation of others, or are you expressing something that’s on your heart. 

Focus on what you can control instead of the results that depend on other people. 

If negative feedback makes you want to give up, you might just need to set aside the feedback for a while until you’ve had some time to practice and gain confidence. 

Remember why you’re doing the thing that lights you up. Focus on what you can control. Seek out, acknowledge, and document the positive. Think about and celebrate how much progress you’ve made. 

What you think of yourself is more important than what anyone else thinks about you. 

The first step is the hardest, but the second is the second hardest.

Changing your mindset and deciding to make a change is a huge step. 

It can be so hard when you’ve put a ton of effort into taking the first step and you’re met with negative reactions or no reaction. You have to be the one to give yourself credit for your progress. Clap for yourself!

When it comes to taking the second step, it often feels like you have to choose whether to give up or take the plunge again. But you’ve already made the decision, now you just have to stick with it. 

Recommit to what you’ve already decided to do. You already did the hard part. You already decided. So, you actually don’t have to decide again. 

Why is it that we don’t feel bad about doing nothing, but feel bad about trying? 

Action is the process. Continuing to take the action is how you get it done. Doing the thing is how you become the thing (author, paintor, CEO, etc.). 

It gets easier because you get stronger and you build momentum. 

You don’t know what you need until you’re in it. 

You need to figure out what resources and support you need to keep going. 

Pay attention to the things that come up and the reasons you want to quit, so that you can address them and put safeguards and weapons in place to overcome those obstacles. 

Break down the first 1-3 steps of your goal so you have a starting point. 

Even if you overthink, you’re still going to come across a situation that you didn’t see coming. And you’re going to have to think on your feet, and figure things out as you go, and work through challenges, setbacks, and surprises. 

Instead of using all your energy overthinking every possible scenario, use that energy to learn things as you go and overcome obstacles as they come up. This is how you build grit and resilience which are key components of success. 

Being successful is not about avoiding falling down, it’s about getting up more times than you fall down. Just don’t give up. 

Working through challenges is how you become the type of person who is successful. 

Taking action early is so important because the closer we get to taking action, the more resistance we feel. And working through that resistance is key to getting where you want to go. 

Not giving up is more important than choosing the “right thing” to focus on.

It’s totally okay to start with one thing and pivot to another. It’s part of the process. 

Being in a certain category doesn’t automatically opt you out of what you want to do. 

There’s a reason the thing you want to do is on your heart, and possibly the reason is because you’re the one who’s supposed to. The world needs you. 

You may have more capacity that you’re giving yourself credit for. 

Sometimes, there is an option to gain more support or take something off your plate to free up more resources for what you want. 

When you feel the “who do you think you are?!” voice talking you out of believing you are worthy, think about where that voice is coming from. Who are “they”? And who are you not to do the thing? Why not you? 

There can be really deep reasons for doing the things you want to do, and also there doesn’t have to be a reason for you to do things that light you up. You are worthy of trying things just because you want to. 

No one else is responsible for how your life turns out. The people whose permission you're waiting on are not the people who are going to answer for your life at the end of the day. So, why would you give them control over what you choose to do?

When you  get a little bit of time and capacity, spend it doing something that’s going to make you feel alive, that’s in line with your values, that’s going to get you closer to the person  you want to be. 

Give yourself the permission to do the thing. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s the right thing; it matters that you start. 

Acknowledge where you are now so you can assess what your next step could be.

Don’t be afraid to start small. Slow progress is progress. The only failure is when you stop trying <3 

Be cognizant of what you have capacity to add and keep in mind that your new activity/habit may require additional capacity for preparation or recovery. 

Your chances of success increase when you have an actual goal instead of a dream or an idea (think SMART goals). 

It can be helpful to limit variables when setting goals. The more the goal is based upon your actions, the more control you have over whether you reach it (e.g. go to the gym 3 days per week vs. lose 10 pounds). 

You don’t have to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life before you start living. 

You are allowed to experiment with different things if you’re not sure what you want to work towards. You’re also allowed to quit something that isn’t working for you and commit to a new thing. 

It’s totally valid to have your goal be “try new things” so you can figure out what you want to start working towards. 

Try to focus on one thing at a time so that you don’t get overwhelmed or burned out. Can you choose a habit that is a catalyst? (e.g. something that has a positive ripple effect on other areas of your life). 

We have to remove things to make space for the new things we want to add to our lives. 

Our lives are so full and include a lot of things that are put on our plates for us. 

If your plate is already full and you try to bring something into your life that’s better, there’s nowhere to put it. 

When you add something to a full container, it just overflows and runs off the top and down the sides. 

Intentionality requires the time and space to consider what is on your plate, why it’s there, and if you want it there. 

The awesome small business I got my sweatshirt from: ⁠https://www.caabcustoms.com/⁠ 

The awesome small business I got my sweatshirt from: https://www.caabcustoms.com/ 

I absolutely love Hello7 and have joined their community for support in growing my business - https://helloseven.co/ 

I think Rachael Rodgers is a genius and a badass, and I highly recommend her book: We Should all be Millionaires

Peta is the incredible coach I was talking about - https://www.instagram.com/petaveezy/ 

Life and progress are not linear, they’re cyclical. It’s totally normal to revisit similar situations, but take note of the progress you’ve made and what’s different this time around. 

Growth/transformation/leveling up is not always pretty. Sometimes, you’re not a caterpillar anymore, and you’re not yet a butterfly. Sometimes there’s a season of disintegration where who you were is dissolving and who you are becoming is still developing, and that’s okay. 

When you make a decision, you’ll often get the opportunity to revisit the decision and choose whether you want to reconsider your decision or stick with your choice. 

There is not a time limit for how long it “should” take. Whether it’s to becoming the next version of yourself, hit a milestone, or reach a goal, no one can dictate how long it should take you. So, let yourself have the time you need. 

We hear a lot about the “before and after”, but the middle is where life happens. 

When  you don’t have the benefit of hindsight, how do you predict a situation that’s going to turn into an “I should’ve known” regret?  

What would it take for you to “know better”? Wouldn’t you have to make a judgment regarding whether or not that person is worthy of your trust, vulnerability or generosity? Is it fair to require that much research before making an effort with someone? 

If you truly should have known better, what does it look like to prove that you do know better now? Does that look like the person you want to be? Does it align with your values? 

What if you can’t change them but you can keep them from changing you? 

What if it’s not that you should have known better, but that you were choosing to be vulnerable and authentic?  

A short recap of last week’s episode about self-reflection and considering if you’re being authentic or performing a role. 

Walking the walk about letting go of perfectionism and allowing myself to be a work in progress. 

Are you being lazy or are you resting?

Are you confusing being busy with being productive or important? 

Do  you know who you are, or just who you “should” be?

How much energy are you putting into propping up a fake representation of yourself? 

Shoutout to Torrid, where I bought practically all of my clothes during my twenties and am still wearing those clothes. 

I just thought it was crazy how I had to learn who I was when I was alone because I didn’t know what role to play when there was no one watching. Am I the only one?

Even if you want to make changes, you have to know who you are in order to identify the next steps to make those changes. It’s also beneficial when you need to identify the root cause of some of our behaviors. 

Introspection and reflection are powerful tools to help determine how you feel about where you’re headed in life and if a course correction is in order. 

Avoidance is a common cause of doing things we don’t necessarily want to be doing. Pinpointing what you’re avoiding can help uncover the root cause of a symptom. 

Addressing the underlying reason you have a habit you’re wanting to change can be a powerful tool to help change it. 

Being honest with yourself is crucial when it comes to determining what changes to make, what is sustainable for you, and what goals are attainable.  

You’re human. That means you’re not perfect. Having a plan for when (not “if”) you mess up can be really helpful for getting back on track after a slip-up. 

You might not know what resources or support you need to actually achieve your goals until you start actually going for it. That’s okay. Sometimes you just have to start in order to figure out what else you need along the way. 

The only failure is when you give up on yourself. Making a mistake isn’t failure. It doesn’t make you a failure. Slipping up isn’t failure. As long as you haven’t given up, you’re still making progress. I hope you’re so proud of yourself.