Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988

National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)

https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p

In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I break down the different permanency goals in foster care—reunification, adoption, guardianship, and independent living—and explain how these goals can shift quickly based on court decisions and family progress. I share how, in Michigan, most children enter care with reunification as the primary goal, meaning foster parents are tasked with providing daily care while also supporting family visits, medical needs, school enrollment, and stability during an incredibly chaotic time. I talk openly about how strongly I believe in children being with their families when it is truly in their best interest, but also why there comes a point where a child’s safety and long-term well-being must matter more than maintaining biological ties. Drawing from personal experience, I explain how long children can be kept in limbo before parental rights are considered for termination and how emotionally difficult that waiting period can be for everyone involved—especially the child.

I also walk through what happens when reunification is no longer possible and cases move toward adoption, guardianship, or independent living. I explain how adoption from foster care works, the legal rights it provides, and the realities of adopting children who often carry deep trauma from years in the system. I compare that with foster guardianship, which allows caregivers to take on full parental responsibility without terminating biological parental rights, and independent living, where older teens are prepared for adulthood through life-skills programs, budgeting, education, and job support. I share how several of our placements have moved through these different paths, including youths who aged out of the system, and how heartbreaking that process can be. I close by reflecting on how complex and fragile each permanency outcome truly is, especially for teens navigating identity, trauma, and major life transitions, and I invite listeners to share their experiences while reminding them they are not alone in this process.

00:00 — Introduction & Episode Focus

Overview of foster care permanency goals: reunification, adoption, guardianship, and independent living.

01:09 — Personal Update & Emotional Context

Grandfather’s passing, infant leaving, and why this topic was chosen for this episode.

01:59 — Foster Care & Reunification Explained

State wardship, legal limitations, and the foster parent’s role in reunification.

03:49 — Child’s Best Interest vs. Family Rights

When reunification may no longer be the safest option.

05:09 — Termination of Parental Rights Timeline

Michigan’s 15-month guideline and why kids shouldn’t stay in limbo.

06:37 — Adoption Through Foster Care

MER (Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange), trauma background, and legal changes after adoption.

09:32 — Foster Guardianship Defined

How guardianship works and how it differs from adoption.

11:11 — Independent Living & Aging Out

Budgeting, stipends, responsibilities, and youth independence.

12:32 — MYOI Program & Life Skills Training

Education, job skills, savings programs, and long-term support.

15:47 — Current Placement & Closing Reflections

Uncertain outcome, transgender youth challenges, and community invitation.

In this episode we go over MCL (Michigan Compiled Laws) - Section 722.958a " the foster parent's bill of rights law"

Please forgive the chaos. I lost my Grandpa Saturday so I have a lot on my mind.

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988

National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)

[email protected]

My Podcast Server

https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p

In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I walk through Michigan Compiled Law 722.958a, also known as the Foster Parent Bill of Rights, and explain what it means in real-world terms based on everything we’ve personally experienced. I break down the rights foster parents are supposed to have—being treated with dignity and respect, receiving full information about placements, getting proper training and support, being reimbursed on time, and being included in case planning and court proceedings. I also give personal updates about the continued grief of losing the baby placement, the recent passing of my grandfather, and the emotional toll that’s been weighing on me while trying to stay consistent with the podcast and advocacy work.

I then compare what the law promises with what we actually lived through, including lack of proper disclosures before placements, failures in training and support, delayed or missing mileage reimbursement, weak investigations into false complaints, and minimal assistance when children were suddenly removed from our home. I share how these breakdowns contributed to burnout, resentment toward the agency, and the feeling of being unsupported despite the legal protections that are supposedly in place. I also touch on grievance procedures, the role of the Child Advocate, and the limitations of legal remedies under the law, while being honest about how exhausting and discouraging it feels to keep fighting for accountability. This episode reflects both an explanation of foster parent rights and a raw look at how difficult it is when those rights aren’t meaningfully enforced.

00:00 — Intro, MCL 722.958a & Why It Matters

01:00 — Updates: Baby Gone, Email to Governor, Grandfather’s Passing

02:07 — What the Foster Parents Bill of Rights Covers

03:36 — Dignity, Respect, Trust & Agency Failures

06:52 — Civil Rights, Confidentiality & Written Evaluations

09:09 — Required Training, Support & Respite

11:03 — Lack of Grief & Family Loss Support

13:08 — Financial Reimbursement, Mileage & Investigations

17:01 — Placement Info Withheld & Emergency Removals

24:11 — Grievance Process, Legal Remedies & Closing Thoughts

My Patreon

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Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988

National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)

[email protected]

My Podcast Server

https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p

Potential future guests:

My friend who is a Therapist

Dr. Becky Owens with her book The Reset Method

David Pisarra with Union of Dads

In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I talk openly about the emotional weight of losing our toddler placement on Veterans Day and how that loss has forced us to seriously question whether we can continue fostering. After 14 months with him, saying goodbye with little warning and limited transition support was devastating—not just for us, but for him as well. I share my concerns about the sudden disruption to his therapy, daycare, and daily stability, and how emotionally draining it’s been to process yet another major loss after three years of fostering. I also give updates on future podcast plans, mental-health topics I want to explore, upcoming interviews, and the therapy work I’m beginning myself as I try to navigate this season in a healthy way.

I also reflect on the accumulated trauma and burnout that has come from repeated crises—runaways, threats of violence, the injury of a pet, blackmail, and what often felt like a lack of meaningful support or protection from the agency. While there have been deeply rewarding moments, the repeated breakdowns in communication and accountability have left us feeling more like a “holding facility” than a respected part of the care team. I talk honestly about the financial, emotional, and mental toll this has taken, and the grief that now overshadows the joy we once felt. Although we still have one teen with us and remain committed to them, this episode reflects a raw moment of uncertainty, exhaustion, and heartbreak—balanced with gratitude for the support of our families, our community, and everyone who has walked this journey with us.

00:00 — Intro: Baby Moved Out & Considering Quitting Fostering

01:15 — Emotional Impact of the Toddler Leaving

01:57 — Disclaimer & Podcast Purpose

02:22 — Updates: Therapy, Book, & Upcoming Guest Interviews

04:33 — Current Placement & LGBTQ Considerations

05:27 — Reasons for Wanting to Stop Fostering

08:23 — Burnout, Financial Strain & Agency Issues

10:29 — Failures of Workers & Reporting to Officials

14:28 — Emotional Toll & Fear for the Toddler’s Future

15:32 — Listener Support, Resources & Closing

My Patreon

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Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988

National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)

[email protected]

My Podcast Server

https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p

In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I go over a list of ten surprising things foster parents are not allowed to do, based on guidance from California and compared with my personal experience fostering in Michigan. I break down topics like not changing a child’s appearance without permission, not sharing their face or identity on social media, never using unapproved babysitters, and always getting proper authorization for medical decisions like vaccinations. I also explain why foster kids generally cannot be left home alone without proper supervision, why co-sleeping is discouraged due to safety and trauma concerns, and why foster parents cannot legally change a child’s name while the state remains the legal guardian. Throughout the episode, I stress the importance of getting everything in writing and always protecting yourself with documentation.

I also discuss restrictions around travel, privacy, and safety, including the need for caseworker approval before traveling out of state or out of the country, the importance of never sharing foster children’s names or photos in public spaces or news media, and the responsibility to keep kids away from potentially dangerous activities. I touch on how things like sleepovers, sports, and other activities must always be cleared through the agency to ensure safety and compliance with state rules. While the list is broad, I explain how these limits exist to protect foster children’s identities, well-being, and future opportunities. I close by encouraging foster parents to always check directly with their caseworker when in doubt and to reach out with additional rules or experiences so future episodes can continue to build on this important topic.

A helpful guide from Knotts Family Agency with an overview of important rules.

1. Alter their appearance without permission
2. Share their faces on social media
3. Leave them with unapproved babysitters
4. Refuse to or vaccinate them
5. Leave them at home without adult supervision (depending on age)
6. Permit co-sleeping arrangements
7. Change their names
8. Move to a different state or travel overseas
9. Share their names or photos in newspaper articles
10. Allow them to partake in dangerous activities

00:00 — Intro & Episode Overview: 10 Things Foster Parents Can’t Do

00:42 — #1 Changing Appearance Without Permission

01:43 — #2 Sharing Faces on Social Media

03:01 — #3 Leaving Them With Unapproved Babysitters

03:45 — #4 Refusing or Giving Vaccines Without Permission

04:54 — #5 Leaving Them Home Alone

05:38 — #6 Co-Sleeping Arrangements

06:34 — #7 Changing Their Name

07:57 — #8 Moving or Traveling Out of State/Country

08:55 — #9 Sharing Names & Photos in News or Media

10:22 — #10 Dangerous Activities + Sleepover Rules & Wrap-Up

My Patreon

https://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988

National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)

[email protected]

My Podcast Server

https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p

In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I share my personal experience with home security systems and safety devices and why they’ve become essential for our household—especially while fostering. I talk about simple deterrents like security signs and fake cameras, as well as full systems like Ring, which I personally use for doorbells, cameras, floodlights, and window sensors. I explain why subscription-based recording has been invaluable for us, particularly during runaway situations, allowing us to provide police with exact images and clothing descriptions. I also touch on why monitored alarm systems weren’t the best fit for our busy home due to constant false alarms, and why customizable, self-monitored systems often work better in high-traffic foster homes.

I also cover physical security tools we use, including Schlage keypad locks, wall safes for medications, and heavy-duty firearm safes to remain compliant with foster care safety standards. I discuss how these systems help protect everyone in the home—kids, adults, and visitors alike—and reduce daily stress by removing worries about keys, access, and unsecured hazards. Above all, I emphasize that no single system fits everyone, and foster parents should choose what works for their home, location, and lifestyle. Safety is not just about prevention—it’s about peace of mind, accountability, and being prepared for the unexpected.

00:00 — New Intro & Episode Overview

Mixing up the intro and introducing security systems.

00:30 — Disclaimer & Placement Updates

Legal disclaimer and current foster care uncertainties.

01:32 — Deterrents: Signs & Fake Cameras

Low-cost security options that still influence behavior.

02:44 — Choosing a Real Camera System

Overview of Ring and subscription vs. monitoring.

03:38 — Why Recording Is Essential for Runaways

How footage helps with police reports and safety.

04:23 — Floodlights, Sensors & Add-On Devices

Different Ring accessories and lighting options.

05:44 — Real-World Police Standoff Experience

When law enforcement used your home as a staging point.

06:25 — Smart Keypad Door Locks (Schlage)

Benefits of coded locks for busy homes and fostering.

08:02 — Medication Safes & Firearm Storage

Wall safes, firearm safes, and foster care safety rules.

10:17 — Final Advice, Monitored Systems & Wrap-Up

Why non-monitored systems may be best for foster homes.

My Patreon

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1-855-MICHKIDS (642-4543)

https://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/adult-child-serv/foster-care

https://mifostercare.michigan.gov/s/landing-page

FosterUSkidshttps://www.fosteruskids.org/usa/michigan#how-to-foster

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988

National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)

My Podcast Server

https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p

[email protected]

In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I walk through what it actually takes to become a licensed foster parent in Michigan, breaking down both the official requirements and what the process looked like for us in real life. I explain the basic eligibility rules—including age, income, health, and willingness to work toward reunification—as well as the reality that fostering is far more about stability, time, and emotional capacity than it is about financial support. I also cover the five major steps in the process: connecting with a foster care navigator, attending orientation, completing the extensive application and fingerprinting process, finishing required training, and passing the home evaluation. From medical exams and background checks to insurance paperwork and references, I share how detailed and time-consuming the licensing process truly is and why it took us more than eight months to complete.

I also explain what the home study and safety evaluation really involve—from reviewing your finances, health, parenting style, and support system to inspecting your home for safety hazards, locking up medications and chemicals, and ensuring kids have proper living space. I talk about the emotional side of fostering, including the reality of reunification, the heartbreak that can come with loving children who may not stay, and why adoption through foster care—while low cost financially—comes with a heavy emotional investment. I share how fostering has pushed me to grow through therapy, cultural awareness, and personal accountability, and why this journey is not something anyone should enter for money. I close by reminding listeners that while the process is demanding, the opportunity to give children safety, stability, and real life experiences is incredibly rewarding.

00:12 — Introduction, Purpose & Disclaimer

Overview of the episode and legal disclaimer.

00:31 — Current Foster Care Updates

Status of current placements and adoption outlook.

01:15 — Basic Foster Parent Eligibility Requirements

Age, family status, income, health, and cooperation with reunification.

03:05 — Physical, Mental & Emotional Fitness

Health expectations and ability to safely care for children.

04:37 — Timeline & Michigan Foster Care Websites

Eight-month licensing timeline and key state resources.

05:30 — Step 1: Foster Care Navigator

Calling MiKids, choosing an agency, and using the agency checklist.

06:41 — Step 2: Orientation & Reality of Reunification

Orientation, infant placements, and emotional realities.

08:41 — Step 3: Application, Fingerprints & Medical Records

References, paperwork, medical clearances, and background checks.

11:11 — Step 4: Mandatory Training (20–25 Hours)

Trauma-informed care, cultural responsiveness, and growth through training.

13:27 — Step 5: Home Study & Safety Evaluation

Home inspection, background history, safety rules, and chemical/weapon storage.

My Patreon

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Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988

National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)

My Discord Server

https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p

[email protected]

In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I walk through the runaway procedures for foster children based on both Michigan CPS guidelines and our real-life experiences. I explain that running away is generally considered a status offense, not a criminal act, and that the first step when a child goes missing is immediately contacting the agency’s on-call worker or caseworker for guidance. From there, the typical response may involve mental health services, police notification, or temporary respite placement. I describe what happens once law enforcement is involved, including providing recent photos, clothing descriptions, and how doorbell and security cameras have been critical for documenting departures. I also explain differences in response depending on the child’s age—especially when the youth is over 18 but still in care—and how each case can unfold very differently.

I then share three of our personal runaway cases, including the extreme chaos of dealing with repeated runaways, police involvement, National Center for Missing and Exploited Children reporting, and the emotional toll these situations took on our household. I talk about the stress, safety risks, threats, blackmail, and agency missteps that made these situations even harder, including being pressured to take children back into our home despite serious safety concerns. I emphasize how important it is for foster parents to document everything, know their legal rights, communicate immediately with the agency, and prioritize household safety. I also strongly recommend security systems, door alarms, and clear procedures to protect both the children and the foster family. I close by reminding listeners that every runaway case is different—but preparation, documentation, and knowing your rights can make all the difference.

00:12 — Introduction, Disclaimer & New Placement Update

Episode purpose, legal disclaimer, and new 14-year-old placement.

01:00 — Michigan FOM & Legal Framework

Overview of CPS Field Operations Manual and runaway status laws.

01:52 — First Step When a Child Runs Away

Immediate agency on-call contact and guidance.

02:40 — Police Contact & Emergency Options

When police, mental health, and respite care are used.

03:53 — Police Reports & Evidence Collection

Photos, clothing description, and doorbell/security footage.

04:45 — Repeated Runaways & Safety Risks (18-Year-Old Case)

Patterns of behavior and failed interventions.

06:10 — Law Enforcement Escalation & False Threats

Hospitalization, police familiarity, and repeated incidents.

07:01 — 14-Year-Old Runaway & Trafficking Concerns

Following the child, NCMEC report, and news involvement.

09:12 — Threats, Violence & Agency Downplaying

Physical threats, CPS involvement, and placement failures.

11:15 — Blackmail, CPS Reports & Documentation

Text evidence, false allegations, and self-protection for foster parents.

My Patreon

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Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988

National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)

https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p

[email protected]

In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I share the story of our first foster placement, who I refer to as "L", a teen who struggled with chronic running away and extreme trauma. Her placement with us was unplanned and rushed, and we were given incomplete and changing information about her age, history, and circumstances. We later learned she had a long history of instability, adoption disruption, trauma bonding, and abusive relationships. Running became a repeated pattern—eventually happening nine times—despite clear rules and safety concerns. I explain how her refusal to engage in therapy, false threats of self-harm, and resistance to structure made it impossible for her to safely move toward her goals of joining the military or law enforcement. Throughout it all, we tried to provide support, consistency, and resources, even as the situation became increasingly unsafe and emotionally exhausting.

I also open up about how her time with us overlapped with one of the hardest personal losses of my life—having to put down my dog Perseus, my companion of 11 years—after his health rapidly declined. I explain how her repeated disregard for safety accelerated his condition, and how her final runaway happened the very day I lost him. After multiple incidents and escalating risk, we made the painful decision to end the placement for safety reasons. She later entered independent living but was removed for refusing school and work, lost her benefits, and has since struggled with homelessness, legal trouble, and an unplanned pregnancy. I reflect on the heartbreak of watching someone spiral despite every effort to help, and I stress the importance of foster parents knowing their legal rights, especially regarding household safety. I close by encouraging listeners to reach out with questions, experiences, or resource needs—because no foster parent should have to navigate situations like this alone.

00:12 — Introduction & Disclaimer

Episode purpose and professional disclaimer.

01:00 — Emergency Placement & Age Confusion

Unplanned placement and last-minute age/legal housing issues.

02:01 — Elle’s Past Trauma & Adoption History

Adoption, pregnancy, forced abortion, and return to care.

03:00 — Chronic Runaways Begin

Multiple runaway incidents and police involvement.

03:59 — Dog Perseus & Medical Decline

Bond with Perseus, injury, and difficult euthanasia decision.

05:52 — Military & Police Aspirations vs. Reality

Goals vs. refusal to follow requirements; false self-harm claims.

06:28 — Therapy Refusal & Mental Health Concerns

Resistance to treatment despite severe trauma.

08:24 — Biological Family Rejection

Father and sister placements fail.

10:33 — Independent Living & Program Failure

Stipend loss, refusal of work/school, removal from placement.

11:29 — After Placement: Court, Pregnancy & Homelessness

Domestic incident, pregnancy, incarceration, and safety warnings.

https://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988

National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)

National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)

https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p

[email protected]

In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I walk through how to volunteer with the Michigan Foster Care Review Board (FCRB) and why this role is so important for children in the foster care system. I explain where to apply through Michigan’s One Court of Justice website, what basic information is required on the application, and what the board looks for in potential volunteers. I break down the key sections of the application, including personal background, education, experience with child welfare, community involvement, advocacy efforts, availability, personal motivation for serving, and required references. I also touch on the current need for more men and minorities to join the board to help create broader representation. I highlight that training is provided at no cost, travel expenses are reimbursed, and board members receive both initial and ongoing annual training.

I also explain what Foster Care Review Board members actually do, including meeting one full weekday each month to review foster care cases, interviewing parents, foster parents, caseworkers, attorneys, and other involved parties, and issuing written recommendations to the court and child welfare agencies. The ultimate purpose of the board, as I share, is to make sure children are moving toward safe and timely permanency, whether that is reunification, guardianship, adoption, or another permanent solution. I close by encouraging anyone with interest or experience in foster care to consider volunteering, because these reviews truly impact real children’s lives. As always, I invite listeners to reach out to share their experiences and help strengthen the foster care community through knowledge, advocacy, and service.

00:12 — Episode Introduction & Purpose

Why this episode was created and the importance of volunteering.

00:39 — Legal Disclaimer

Professional and legal responsibility notice.

01:00 — How to Apply to Volunteer

Where to apply and official contact methods.

01:44 — Application Overview & Governing Law

What the application includes and legal authority (MCL).

02:12 — Personal & Education Background Required

Basic personal info, education, and experience sections.

02:36 — Criminal History & Community Involvement

Felony disclosure and civic participation.

03:45 — Time Commitment & Monthly Availability

Board meeting schedule and appeal responsibilities.

04:08 — References & Final Agreement

Reference requirements and service expectations.

05:08 — Training, Travel & Reimbursement

Mandatory training and cost coverage.

05:54 — Board Duties & Case Review Responsibilities

Monthly reviews, interviews, and advisory recommendations.

https://patreon.com/TheFosterDadDirective?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink