Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988
National Helpline 1-800-662-4357
Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988 then press 1)
National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)
https://discord.gg/9MSPwRG4p
In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I open up about my personal background, my experience as a foster parent, and why I’m so deeply invested in speaking out about the foster care system. I talk about the current situation involving the separation of two siblings and how painful and damaging that can be, drawing from my own experiences with long separations during military deployments. I also share my growing frustration with the agency, the guardian ad litem, and the lack of meaningful help from legal and state resources despite repeated outreach. Alongside that, I give listeners a deeper look into who I am—my upbringing as the oldest of many siblings, growing up with limited resources, my time in the Army with two deployments, my work in corrections, and how those experiences shaped my views on family, separation, stress, and resilience.
I also walk through our foster care journey so far, including the seven placements we’ve had over the past two and a half years, the wide range of ages, the different case goals like reunification, adoption, and independent living, and the many challenges we’ve faced—runaways, false allegations, inadequate training, unpaid mileage, overreaching families, technology issues, and children arriving without even the most basic life skills. Despite all of that, I share the moments that have made everything worth it, especially watching two young children grow, heal, and thrive after coming into our home. I close by talking about my hopes for the podcast: to document cases, share real experiences, bring professionals into the conversation, fight stigma around therapy, gather resources, and create a place where foster parents, foster kids, and advocates no longer feel alone in a system that often feels impossible to navigate.
00:00 — Introduction & Episode Focus
Why this episode is personal and difficult to talk about.
00:22 — Disclaimer & Podcast Format Changes
Clarifying intent, legal disclaimers, and adjusting the show’s structure.
02:05 — Current Foster Case & Sibling Separation
Youngest foster kids separated across states and emotional impact.
03:23 — Guardian ad Litem & Agency Conflicts
Concerns about advocacy failures and formal complaints.
05:38 — Case Manager Issues
Early mistakes and lack of understanding of foster care rules.
06:00 — My Background & Military Experience
Family upbringing, deployments, and understanding separation.
08:13 — Addiction, Education & Corrections Work
History with alcohol, prison work, and burnout.
09:57 — Why We Became Foster Parents
Family addiction, emergency preparedness, and support system.
10:46 — Placement History & System Failures
Seven placements, miles unpaid, training failures, hostile situations.
14:45 — Successes, Growth & Future Plans
Kids’ progress, therapy advocacy, future guests, and listener outreach.