The Four Horsemen of Relationships – Are You Doing These Without Knowing It?

We’re finally back from our spring break! In this first part of two, we explain why Dr. John Gottman’s 4 signs that predict divorce—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—are so powerful, and how they often show up without us even realizing it.

We break these down by analyzing a viral clip of Alec and Hilaria Baldwin, using it as a real-life example of how these patterns play out in everyday relationships.

Timestamps (00:00)  Coming up in this episode
(01:31) Dave’s Caribbean cruise 
(04:51) Analyzing the Alec and Hilaria Baldwin clip
(17:38) Today’s topic: John Gottman’s Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – The 4 Horsemen of Relationships 
(26:03) The first horseman: Criticism – when complaints turn into character attacks 
(31:53) The second horseman: Contempt – the most dangerous relationship killer
(37:46) The third horseman: Defensiveness – why it makes things worse
(42:11) The fourth horseman: Stonewalling – the silent relationship shutdown
(47:15) How can you avoid the Four Horsemen?