The Frustration Factor

In Part 3 of Just One Big Unhappy Family, the discussion shifts to how to recognize when things are happening in your family that foretell problems and increased risk. You learn to assess individual, marriage and parenting risk and see how those risks evolve and escolate. Your ability to understand risk and malfunction continue their development from Parts 1 and 2. Please listen and thoughtfully consider how you and your family are relating and loving together.

In this popular past podcast, James points out four quite distinct approaches to leading and to leadership. Each has its uses and its limitations. Your challenge is to pick the best approach for you and for the particular leadership situation.

Warning: This episode of Audio Tidbits Podcast contains significant violence and strong language so is not suitable for children or for teens or adults who are sensitive to family violence or strong language.

Our discussion of family malfunction moves to a new dimension extended from the last episode: Just One Big Unhappy Family. The vignettes in this episode follow one family over thirty years or so and track the evolution of its malfunction. You see that problems unattended become a dysfunctional life style that leads to places few would choose to go. The illustrations are based on real people and on a real family. The best that can be said is that everyone survived. I hope you find the half hour or so it takes to listen is a good investment of your time and compassionate emotions.

If what you see is one big happy family, there may be many reasons and explanations, not that any of these are necessary. Happy is normally its own accounting. If what you see is one big unhappy family, there are only a few likely reasons, and explanations totally depend on who you ask. Emotional distress, psychological and interpersonal malfunction and unhealthy family environments typically have their base in only a limited number of problems and issues. Being able to spot these problems and issues is the key to helping your family avoid even more devastating unhappiness. In this episode of Audio Tidbits Podcast, I share with you a series of vignettes that illustrate the range of mental health and interpersonal issues unhappy families commonly experience. I am simply assuming that you know enough to find qualified help if any of these signs of serious difficulty show up in your family.

Can you deal with riding the train to nowhere? At first it is just weird, then it gets boring and gradually you find yourself too agitated to continue the trip. Few have the patience and self-discipline to handle the whole ride. Try it to see if you are up to the trip. Few are. – Pro tip: Focus on the rumble and not on the tune.

Let's not forget the young pessimist. We have been introduced before and best remember. If there is to be a better day for him in an America that is great for all, it's up to you and me and up to leaders who truly care about our young pessimist.

Sure, Marc has a few tips for you to make a difference to people who make a difference to you, tips to relate to others with style, all the time, on purpose. As usual, he is spot on. For me, though, I think you will find the best part of his podcast today if you stay tuned for the fairies.

Are you tempted to cut and run? Does the grass look greener over there? It might be time but your best choice is most always to hang in with the folks who got you here. Please listen before you go with the newest example of glitz and glamour that comes along.

Are you taking care of business? Will it help to know a few of the keys to better business? If so, please press play and listen.

In the last episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, focus was on the perfect employee, on those who aspire to be perfect employees and on employers who hope to hire the perfect employee. In this episode, the discussion is expanded to consider the ideal home for the perfect employee. Please consider an organization that aspires to be the ideal home for the perfect employee. You can then judge the quality of the fit for yourself.

As a potential home for the perfect employee, what are our prerequisites for employment?

To join our organization, a potential employee has to have substantial qualifications for the position of interest. Organizations typically set minimum qualifications for positions. This means the positions are open to people who are just barely qualified. Throughout the organization, then, someone who is just barely qualified - and most likely, sometimes by someone who is not qualified - may provide virtually any service. These services cover all aspects of the operation. We have to be able to assure the people who use our services, either internally or externally, that employees who are substantially qualified to provide them are delivering those services. The best way to make this assurance is to only have employees who are clearly qualified to do what they do - people who are substantially qualified for the position they hold.

Our employees are clearly qualified to provide the services they provide. They are, in turn, allowed to provide those services with a minimum of supervision and direction. They function relatively autonomously and independently, so long as they function within the expected, functional parameters. Within limits, they can do what they think is reasonable and appropriate. Given this level of discretion and flexibility, there are additional criteria the organization uses to select employees. They are included below. Each criterion is required. If the prospective employee does not meet the criterion, he (or she) quite simply is not likely to succeed within the organization’s eco system. This is not a judgment about the individual's competence. Rather, it is merely a conclusion he or she would not make a good employee here.

Our employees have a clear vision, a clear sense of mission. The most successful employees have a clear vision of their mission, why they do what they do. They know they are not experts at everything and do not profess to have all of the answers. Even with this limitation, they are clear about why they do what they do.

Our employees value those who make the journey with them. For those who choose to be part of our internal eco system, they are valued and what they do is recognized and appreciated. They, as individuals, matter and what they do matters.

Our employees commit themselves to excellence. Our organization is not merely succeeding, it excels. Being an employee guarantees being a valued member of a team committed to doing the right things right, the first time, on time, every time, one service experience at a time.

Our employees appreciate where and how they fit in. Each of our employees knows that his or her primary role is to help others succeed. His or her task is to provide for other people the best possible opportunity to get where they are committed to going, to succeed with whatever they choose to do that requires services from us.

Our employees play by the rules. They respect the rules and expect others associated with us to do likewise. We have undoubtedly all run across the person who believes he is above everyone else. People like this think rules are for other people and what they want and do are exceptions to any rules or established procedures. Excellence is not something they have thought about a lot. Fortunately, they are very far away from ever being invited to join the staff.