The Fully Expressed Podcast

What does it truly mean to support someone dealing with mental health challenges? In this heartfelt episode of The Fully Expressed Podcast, I open up about my personal experiences navigating the delicate balance of being a supportive partner while maintaining my own wellbeing.

Full Transcript0:00
Welcome to the Fully Express podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I am your podcast host, Karenna Soto.
0:04
And this is the show where we have conversations and discussions that invite you into living a life fully expressed, creating a life where you feel like your fullest expressed self finding and creating relationships where you feel like your most expressed self as well as what does that, what does that look like professionally?
0:22
And so in your life in your business and in your career, it’s like truly bringing your most authentic self to any room that you step into.
0:31
And today is really fun because today’s episode, you’re going to get me and Nick, which some of you have heard and met us, met him before.
0:39
And those that don’t know, Nick is my partner, my, the person that I choose to do this life with.
0:45
And in literally, in like less than a week ago, Nick proposed and we’re so excited to share that we are officially engaged.
0:58
So we have gone from girlfriend, boyfriend to partners to official fiances and stop Nick with the audio responses, the background.
1:09
I’m just going to have him in the back to like do my little music.
1:13
I’m just here for Ad Libs.
1:15
Anyways, it was such a sweet proposal.
1:18
And in short, like I did, I did go through some of my own internal process when it came to the proposal and going through this process of now like stepping into that chapter and I would be happy to share what that has been like for me because I feel like it’s something that I’ve been hearing often from other brides that have stepped into this space.
1:39
And I think stepping this next chapter just brings up a lot of different challenges and hard conversations that we have to have with ourselves, but even with other people in our life, so I would be more than happy to share that on a different episode.
1:50
But for today’s episode, we’re going to double down on how you can actually expand and optimize your capacity.
1:57
So a couple episodes ago, if you got a chance to listen to it, it’s the episode where I talked about specific strategies to avoid burnout.
2:07
So what does it look like to feel successful in your life in your relationships and business altogether?
2:14
Because, you know, as human beings, we’re doing a lot, we are in our day to day, right?
2:20
We have our businesses, our work, our careers, whatever you end up doing for a living to be able to pay the bills as well as express yourself purposely.
2:29
And we also have relationships like we have our significant others.
2:34
Maybe we have really close friends, maybe we have brothers and sisters.
2:38
We have family members.
2:40
Some of you listening here have kids.
2:42
Right.
2:43
And so we have all of those responsibilities and commitments and opportunities that we have brought into our lives as well as we have ourselves that we have to take care of.
2:53
We have the day to day administration, things to our lives, like taxes and cooking and cleaning, feeding and cleaning and medical bills.
3:03
I mean, you name it right when we look at our lives like we have, we are doing a lot and I don’t want to ignore the fact that we’re doing a lot, but I do want to share with you how you can start to optimize your life in a way that you have the capacity for all those things.
3:20
And in that last episode, I really highlighted how, what it looks like to one, set up your, your calendar so you can set yourself up for success and have that kind of structure.
3:32
But then two, you know, a lot of the podcast episode was about how you can start to determine your capacity and show up with the capacity that you do have.
3:42
So, so many of us are, are living in this place of exhaustion, chronic fatigue, overwhelmed, constantly stretched in living in fight or flight all the time.
3:53
Our systems don’t really have the time to fully recharge.
3:58
And so we’re always craving that vacation, right?
4:01
It feels like every day is a new day that we’re going to run a sprint and every week feels like the same marathon.
4:07
So, you know, that episode really talked about that.
4:09
But for this very specific episode, I really wanted to double down on how you can actually expand your capacity, really optimize your capacity to show up for your life.
4:20
And I couldn’t think of anyone better to be on this podcast with me because Nick is a wealth of knowledge is the best way I can say, you know, all of our friends and the people around us always look to Nick as encyclopedia.
4:35
I feel like all I have to do is ask him a question and he’s Google in a lot of ways, this man is someone that deep research papers and is constantly reading different books and learning different studies.
4:48
And what I love about Nick’s knowledge is that he definitely comes from the background of traditional nutrition and fitness and has recently stepped into really honoring a holistic point of view.
5:02
So with that being said, I’m gonna let him introduce himself because it’s really exciting in the last month or so.
5:09
He has officially received a new certification that he gets to share with you today.
5:13
Yeah, thanks for that intro.
5:16
You always speak about me much more highly than I speak about myself, which I think makes you a great podcast host.
5:22
And lucky for me, it would be my fiance as well.
5:26
But yes, I recently completed a certified Holistic health practitioner certification, the redundancy department of redundancy.
5:35
And so, yeah, it’s a three year long program that I was able to place out of the first two years of because of my prior education.
5:45
And I completed this program, historically, it would have made me a naturopathic doctor.
5:50
But, and I think 2016, the school that I went to decided to proactively change that because of the lines between traditional naturopaths and the modern naturopathic doctors were getting blurry.
6:05
So now I’m a certified holistic health practitioner and I have the opportunity to sit for boards and that would make me a board certified naturopathic doctor if I pass that.
6:15
So I’m like basically a doctor, but I’m certainly not giving you medical advice.
6:24
Let’s make that clear.
6:26
Nothing.
6:27
I say today will be medical advice, but I, I will give you some, some golden nuggets that’ll help you optimize your health.
6:34
I guarantee it.
6:34
Amazing.
6:36
Well, something I would love for you to share what it was like for you before you stepped into this row and when you maybe if you’re open to talking a little bit about what it was like to getting diagnosed with PTSD and what you felt like as an entrepreneur and where you started.
6:52
Yeah.
6:52
So when I started my entrepreneurial journey in 2018, I was bright young bushy tailed kid who had just graduated college.
7:04
I, I’ve been working in collegiate strength and conditioning and been struggling with my mental health, which I thought was normal, having like panic attacks and just general, general anxiety and depression.
7:18
And then I decided entrepreneurship would be easier.
7:20
Right.
7:22
Terrible idea.
7:22
But thought entrepreneurship would be easier than 100 hour work weeks that are required of lead to strength and conditioning.
7:29
So I started my online fitness coaching business and I would have like these really high peaks because I am good at what I do.
7:37
I would so I would make all these sales and then I would like literally not be able to show up on social media at all.
7:44
I had like my first ever 10-K months and then, like, I had to take two or three months off after that.
7:51
And then, you know, I eventually got into the world of life coaching as well and I was providing personal development as Rael Fitness nut for my clients.
8:02
And so I was making this really powerful pivot and then I would just kind of disappear altogether.
8:07
And in general, I was experiencing this pattern in my life and in my business where I would have high highs and low lows and my low lows started to come more frequently and be longer lasting as well.
8:22
You know, I remember a point in time, a few years ago where I hadn’t eaten for like a couple of days in a row and I walked into the kitchen finally and opened the door of the fridge and I just like started crying because I knew that there was just no way that I could like make a eel, couldn’t like go through with that process because I was so under resourced.
8:44
Like I was so to use credits terminology.
8:46
I was so beyond my capacity and eventually this to make a long story shorter, I eventually went to the Amon Clinic to work with Doctor Amon and his team, Dr Amon.
9:00
For those unfamiliar, has millions of followers across his social media platforms.
9:05
He’s a world renowned psychiatrist and he’s mostly well known for his TED talk that he gave several years ago.
9:13
And the basis of his TED talk was that psychiatry is the only field of medicine where the doctors are treating an organ.
9:20
They don’t first try to look at.
9:22
So if you have a heart problem, you’re going to, you’re going to go to a heart doctor and they’re going to look at your heart.
9:27
Well, if you are depressed and you go to a psychiatrist, you’re going to tell them your symptoms and they’re going to prescribe you a medication based on your symptoms without ever looking at your brain.
9:38
And for me, I kind of had this intuition that my symptoms were pretty complex.
9:44
I’m a pretty complex guy, but then she said so just a little bit, I think we all are, but I felt like my symptoms were pretty complex.
9:52
And so I wanted somebody to not just look at my symptoms, I wanted them to.
9:56
Yes, look at my symptoms.
9:57
Yes, look at my history, but look at me as a whole person because I felt very strongly that your physical, your emotional, your spiritual health, all of those were tied so strongly together.
10:09
And at the end of clinic, they do actually look at your brain, they take scans of it.
10:14
So I worked Dr Amen.
10:16
The other thing that really attracted me about the Amen Clinic was they have this holistic approach to mental wellness.
10:22
So they first and foremost, want to work with you on your lifestyle and your nutrition and your exercise and fitness habits and supplementation.
10:31
And then and only then would they recommend oh and like traditional therapy and different modalities of therapy.
10:38
And then and only that would they use pharmaceutical drugs?
10:42
Certainly not the naturopath who is going to talk negatively about pharmaceutical drugs.
10:46
That is not my prerogatives.
10:48
I know it’s other naturopaths prerogatives.
10:51
But I wanted that to be kind of a last resort.
10:53
I wanted to make sure that I had done everything that I could do before I went down that that route.
10:59
And so in working with the A MA clinic, I did all of their tests.
11:03
I even did like traditional blood tests that you would do with a doctor or functional medicine doctor.
11:08
I did their like different personality type assessments, their memory and cognition assessments got my brain scanned twice and the doctor sat me down and he diagnosed me with post traumatic stress disorder, PTSD as well as like major depression, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder.
11:30
He was able to show me my brain and essentially explained to me that on how bad my brain looked.
11:39
His words, how bad my brain worked.
11:41
One, I should feel very grateful for the healthy lifestyle that I had already been living up until now because it, it really was probably saving me in many ways.
11:52
But that too, in his professional opinion, based on how well I had already been living.
11:57
My best chance to really make an improvement was to, to use pharmaceutical drugs.
12:02
And so I did get on antidepressants but and that didn’t bother me.
12:07
But what did bother me was this idea that there is nothing more that I could do that.
12:11
There is no lifestyle changes that there is no nutrition changes, no supplement changes that would make market change that would really, really help me.
12:20
And so with this idea in mind of like, well, I know that I don’t want to do this forever.
12:27
I want to figure out this issue for me.
12:29
I want to solve this challenge.
12:30
And also with this new context through, through the lens of our capacities, right?
12:36
I now understood that my capacity was not the same as everybody else’s.
12:41
And so this is a journey of physical health, but also personal development and emotion well being of honoring my capacity because it’s, it was much lower than other people’s.
12:51
And so this journey for me was kind of this culmination of personal development, honoring my capacity, but also wanting to optimize my nutrition and my lifestyle to expand my capacity so I could get it to be, be where other people’s were.
13:05
And throughout this entire process, I, you know, haven’t been an entrepreneur and where I sit today, I’ve been able to, to go back into entrepreneurship because I’ve expanded my capacity.
13:18
I’ve done the necessary healing.
13:20
And so I’m just really excited and finally energized and resourced enough to actually share these gifts with other people.
13:26
Thank you so much for sharing all that with them because I think, you know, we haven’t like fully dove into that process and what it was looked like for you and that healing stuff because it was, it was definitely a time for you to like really heal, to really learn and, and healing meant not just your words, taking Zoloft or antidepressants.
13:50
It was like, how can I truly regulate my nervous system?
13:53
Truly heal like my internal health and my internal well being something that I thought about is that a lot of people in entrepreneurship don’t talk about this, right?
14:04
This like how triggering entrepreneurship really is or how, how much, how taxing it is on your nervous system to want to learn all these different strategies, navigate your ego, like navigate the pressures of having to show up all the time and not really being supported, especially as like an entrepreneur, you start as a solo entrepreneur.
14:27
So you’re not only doing everything in your life, but you’re doing every aspect of your business and that, that takes a lot of energy, right?
14:36
So like the way that I think about this and when I mentioned on the podcast, so you really think about your capacity as a battery.
14:42
And so when it comes to our day to day, if we just focus on America itself, which burn and I’m almost positive has been defined by American culture.
14:51
Like it’s something that Americans defined.
14:53
I need to dig into a little bit of that earlier.
14:55
But I actually learned that I saw that somewhere.
14:57
What do you also like doing some market research calls with people from other countries?
15:02
And they were like, yeah, like you can talk about burnout, but I don’t know that it will really resonate in other countries, people in other countries.
15:09
And that came up because for those, I don’t know, like realize I’ve been speaking, I am a professional speaker for burnout.
15:16
And one of the questions I got was like, are you going to take this internationally?
15:20
And I had to do some research like they don’t, they’re not exhausted the way that we are, they’re not burnt out and overdo it like we are in other cultures, life is a lot slower.
15:31
They are taking naps in the middle of the day.
15:35
They really prioritize family.
15:37
And yes, they work hard and yes, they put a lot of pressure on themselves, but they haven’t defined this reason of burnout.
15:44
And so they struggle with other things, but like the actual term burnout and the way that we do it because of our American culture and our society, our expectations and blah, blah, blah.
15:53
But where I was going with that was the battery.
15:56
So when it comes to the battery, I like to think of our capacity like a battery.
16:00
And so from zero being like, you are absolutely completely burnt out, which means you wake up in the morning, you’re numb, you feel exhausted, you have chronic fatigue, you are physically ill.
16:15
So headaches, chronic pain, any task feels very overwhelming.
16:21
So if someone says, hey, can you do this for me?
16:23
All of a sudden your internal world starts spiraling and you’re like, I can’t do that.
16:29
But obviously you want to say yes to that or you just feel like you are always craving a vacation.
16:35
Like even if you go on vacation, it’s not enough because you’re like, I’m still exhausted.
16:39
So that is like the extreme version of burnout that is at zero that present battery life.
16:44
And when you go into 100 100 looks like absolutely thriving.
16:51
You are regulated, you are healthy, physically emotionally and spiritually, you are so damn grateful for life.
16:59
You are so resource that you can take on so many tasks you feel genuinely positive about life.
17:07
You have this like very positive outlook.
17:09
If with work, you are in this abundant mindset.
17:12
So you’re really like attracting so much into your life.
17:16
And that’s what 100% battery life is.
17:18
And for many people that are listening to this and many people that I’ve spoken to is that they’re most likely looking, living at 6050 40% 30% and some are even living at negative 10% battery life or like negative 20.
17:35
And we’re all expecting ourselves to operate like we have 100% battery life.
17:39
And the truth is, it’s like asking yourself to drive a car with GEO gas in it.
17:44
It’s like you expecting our vessels, this beautiful body of ours to operate like it is so well resourced well, like oiled up and we’re not, we’re not, we’re truly not.
17:57
And there’s so many things that get us to that point.
18:00
And the very specific thing that I want to dive into this podcast episode is like, how can you actually start to optimize this beautiful body that we live in this vessel and increase our physical wealth, which is connected to our emotional health and our spiritual health because they’re all connected.
18:19
But from a nutritional perspective, babe, how can someone start to truly just optimize their physical well being what can they start doing today?
18:31
Well, I think the first thing that you have to understand and recognize is that our health is constantly under bombardment of threats.
18:42
Nowadays, the model world has really good example of this is like the major invention of 100 years ago was the light switch.
18:54
And 1000 years ago was the printing press or yeah, or 1500 years ago is the printing press in 2000 years ago is paper.
19:04
So like it took us, I think it took us like 1500 years to go from paper to the printing press, but it took us 50 years to from the computer to the smartphone.
19:12
So our modern world is bringing forth so much advancement and like what is running the, the engineering that your body is running on is still thousands of years old.
19:25
So you’re running this thousands of year old biology and we’re living with these challenges of modern times that your biology never could have imagined.
19:36
So again, I want you to imagine if you were to go up to somebody who had just invented paper and hand them a smartphone and pretty much every day.
19:47
That’s what we’re doing to ourselves when we are like bombarded by like the blue light that’s emanating from our laptops.
19:55
For example, it’s a threat to ourselves that ourselves could have never had the clean years expected, have to deal with on a daily basis.
20:04
So let’s talk about like what some of those threats are that we can start to mitigate.
20:09
We already talked a little bit about, about light.
20:12
So the electromagnetic spectrum, we are electromagnetic beings.
20:18
And traditionally speaking, like if we talk about evolutionarily speaking, our cells are made to deal with sunlight, right?
20:27
And sunlight is generally good.
20:30
We also know that sunlight in excess and if done wrong can also like cause cancer or other issues as well.
20:37
So even the sun itself can be dangerous for us.
20:41
But there’s all of the, these waves going both ways that are also damaging to us.
20:45
So like x rays like radio waves and so like we’re constantly being bombarded by the blue light on our devices by Wi Fi by five G.
20:57
So all of these electromagnetic frequencies are damaging ourselves.
21:02
You know, something that comes up when you say that, I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but I’ve heard from multiple people that they realized that the Wi Fi was causing, giving them headaches.
21:11
Oh, totally.
21:12
Yeah.
21:12
If you, I think one of the things that I’ve noticed is if you take your phone away because most of us like charge our phones at night right next to our heads, like on our bedside table.
21:23
If you were to even just put it on the ground, your incidence of like teeth grinding at night would go down significantly.
21:31
I hear something similar to what you said, but slightly different where people will wear like bluetooth headphones and they’ll get anxiety or they’ll notice that they like teeth are chattering or you can wear a Bluetooth headphone on one side of your head and you’ll get a headache on that side, but not on the other side.
21:49
I feel that so deeply with my Bluetooth headphones.
21:51
Like I prefer the wired ones because my Bluetooth headphones like literally hurt my ears now because I’ve become more sensitive by eliminating it.
22:00
So I think for me, when I was so for I was always using my airpods at the gym because I used to go to the gym all the time and lately I’ve been doubling down on like Pilates and hot yoga and all these things.
22:12
So I’m not really living in that anymore and I switched to my actual wired headphones because it’s less, less frequently.
22:21
Yeah, the less frequencies and electronics going in my ears.
22:24
And now because I have taken that away, I have realized how much more sensitive I really am to it.
22:30
Versus before I was just almost just like sucked into it.
22:35
Like it was just like a part of the way that I felt.
22:37
And now that I’ve been able to like, remove it, I can actually feel how sensitive and damaging and uncomfortable it really is for my body.
22:45
Yeah.
22:45
And I think that’s a really important point that you bring up that of some of the things that I might bring up today might be so normal for you that your initial inclination when you hear this advice is that it’s bullshit.
23:01
Like you’ll just initially disagree like, oh I wear my airpods all the time.
23:05
Like I’m healthy if you stop wearing your airpods for like 90 days and then you start wearing them again and you like bring this knowledge and you know, you work on your intuition and just getting more in touch with your body.
23:18
In the meantime, do some meditation and things like that.
23:21
You will, you will notice when you put your airpods in like you will be much more sensitive, like you’ll, you’ll feel it like one of the things that one study that I read one time looked at people who had dental fillings, which we know most dental fillings are either made with either silver or mercury, which in high doses can be toxic, heavy metals.
23:47
And so people who had dental fillings and wore airpods often would experience more symptoms of heavy metal toxicity related to that and that the researchers essentially were hypothesizing that your airpods were like melting your fillings like into your body.
24:08
And so yeah, I mean, we’re just putting these like little mini microwaves into our ears all the time and thinking like this is probably not doing anything.
24:17
Yeah, that’s so wild to think about.
24:20
You know, I would love to hear.
24:21
What’s your, what are some other things that people start to remove?
24:26
Right?
24:27
Remove these toxins or eliminate from their experience that they get to, that they get more sensitive to, like, we were just talking with a friend recently who had been on a really clean diet and then noticed how much sugar they have.
24:40
So, like, what are the other kinds of things that someone can eliminate from just their day to day to start to feel more regulated but therefore, will also start to feel more sensitive to these things that are harming us.
24:55
Yeah, I mean, the, the first one that I don’t think is controversial at all is like highly processed foods.
25:02
So there’s, you know, substantial body of research about like high fructose corn syrup and how it actually is like more sweet is like registers on like over 100 on the sweetness scale that researchers have developed.
25:19
So it’s like sweeter than any naturally occurring sugars are including just like sugar cane and a lot of times the highly processed foods also have really high amounts of dietary fat and dietary carbohydrates, which is, which is a big issue.
25:35
Usually when things are just really sweet or just really high in fat, they don’t like trigger this response in our brains that makes us want to eat like a ton more.
25:46
But when things are both sweet and savory or both sweet and salty, we just can’t get enough of them.
25:53
That’s why I like everybody loves pizza because it’s just an awesome flavor profile.
25:59
That’s highly addictive.
26:00
But more so if you were to think of like, I don’t know, like a Dorito or something that’s going to have this high fructose corn syrup.
26:07
Plus all of these other highly processed foods with the highly processed foods.
26:12
One, a couple of things that are slightly more controversial would be artificial colors and flavors, artificial sweeteners, things of that nature.
26:22
So things like aspartame, things like red 40 we know these things to be like neurotoxic in significantly high doses.
26:32
And even if they’re not neurotoxic, we do know that they mess up the ratio of glutamate to Gaba and Gaba is the inhibitory neurotransmitter.
26:41
That kind of helps us calm down.
26:43
And so like a lot of these things that I’ll be talking about over the course of the next couple of minutes are they’re all stimulants, maybe not direct stimulants like caffeine, but there’s stimulatory as in as opposed to inhibitory.
26:57
And so you stack enough of these things on top of each other and now you’ve got a system that just can’t calm down.
27:04
And so like a lot of people will demonize like we mentioned earlier, like our friend, a lot of people will demonize sugar and sugar is like really far down on this list of threats.
27:15
But yes, if you take away sugar then like you’re also taking away something that is stimulatory as well.
27:22
I just think that there’s better places to start before you start taking away sugar a couple of other things would be so quickly.
27:28
Does it matter?
27:29
What kinds of sugar?
27:31
Yeah, of course.
27:32
I mean, you’ve got like the highly processed sugars.
27:34
Like I talked about even like certain like every carbohydrate source is going to have a different ratio of like fructose to sucrose.
27:44
So like certain studies have shown that like sucrose, like pure sucrose, which would be like just pure cane sugar is not nearly as like satisfying to our brains is like a mix of fructose and sucrose.
27:59
So there’s certain camps of people who think that you should avoid fructose.
28:04
Of course, then that means you’re not eating fruit, which like I would never personally agree with.
28:09
Also like honey is significantly sweeter than just pure table sugar because it’s got a lot of fructose in it.
28:16
But your body metabolizes it or metabolizes it very differently than like the high fructose corn syrup.
28:22
But yes, the like type of sugar.
28:24
And again, like the pairing of sugar with fat in the same food is very different than, than like just pure sugar, like eating an apple with fiber and antioxidants and polyphenols is going to have a much different effect in your body than eating like even just pure table sugar.
28:45
But definitely if you were to combine the highly processed sugars with the processed fats in like a doughnut or something that’s all going to be like super different.
28:55
So like honey and fruit will be very different than just table sugar and donuts.
29:02
And that’s not even talking about like the micronutrient content of any of those foods, which of course apples and honey are more micronutrient, micro nutrient dense than table sugar or donuts.
29:14
So yeah, that totally answers my question.
29:19
I think it’s just so important to work through that because one, as I hear you talk about sugar, you know, being someone that was caught up in like the diet culture for so long you hear sugar is bad, right?
29:30
So when people want to diet and go get healthy, they start cutting out everything sugar and then they start eating more processed sugar.
29:37
Like what are some of the like the fake sugar sugar, aspartame or things like that?
29:43
Or they go and get like a zero sugar.
29:46
The Walden Farm syrup.
29:47
Yeah like or they go get zero yeah, zero sugar maple syrup or zero sugar drinks, you know like it says zero sugar but it’s just processed.
29:58
Is that fair?
29:59
And so like breaking that apart because to your point what I’m hearing is like fruit, honey, natural like sugar or sweet, sweet things that come from the earth are better for our bodies versus a processed sugar.
30:13
And even though processed foods say that there is zero sugar in it.
30:17
The way that they’re making it sweet and tasty is bad.
30:20
Is that the best way to say it or just like not well metabolized by our body?
30:24
Yeah.
30:25
I mean, like I think I mentioned this earlier talking about how like our biology, our genes are thousands of years old and like there is honey that is thousands of years old.
30:39
That’s still good, still edible being stored in the pyramids in the Egyptian pyramids.
30:46
And so I think it’s pretty safe to say that the biology that we have was made with consuming honey and mind now it was probably made with consuming honey and mind when like it’s summertime, both like physical summer but also like metaphysical summer, like we’re in great abundance and wealth.
31:08
Not like struggling and starving.
31:11
We’re probably not eating a lot of honey, but like our biology was not made to eat like zero calorie syrup or, you know, or, or aspartame, I mean, like aspartic acid is like eventually precursor to dopamine, but there’s so many other ways to do that and not like not mess up your Giner system along the way.
31:35
So yes, to answer your question, like it’s, it has a wildly different effect on our bodies.
31:41
What’s your Gaba system that with the word you just said?
31:46
So the Gaba is one of the primary neurotransmitters and it’s sort of the inhibitory neurotransmitter.
31:55
So Gaba is a neurotransmitter that you, it’s, it’s like a calm, focused, relaxed neurotransmitter that you primarily want to boost when you’re approaching, like going to bed or, you know, for certain people who have like higher stress systems, it might be something that you want to boost first thing in the morning.
32:15
Like it’s not a directly, it doesn’t directly stimulate Gaba, but it produces Gaba like effects is amino acid called L theanine, which you can take L theanine like alongside your stimulants.
32:29
And essentially, if we were to use like caffeine, for example, caffeine has like a 4 to 6 hour half life.
32:36
And what L theanine does is it kind of flattens the curve.
32:40
So you don’t get this really high peak and with that really high peak, a lot of times you’ll get like anxiety or stress symptoms or like diarrhea.
32:51
So like G I peristalsis.
32:53
So the, the, the can kind of like flatten that curve for you.
32:57
So you feel the energy for longer and it also sounds more regulated.
33:02
Yeah, it’s totally more regulated.
33:03
I mean, most people, most people, regardless of like how healthy their diet is would really benefit from like working on their Gaba system.
33:14
Like a really good one of the questions that I have on my, on my questionnaire to measure this is if you spend time in the sun and you feel tired, but like in a good way after you spend time in the sun, you likely need more Gaba because like some of the mechanisms that increase Gaba in our brains are driven by light.
33:35
So if you like get more sunlight than you usually do and you feel tired after that, it’s usually a good sign that you need more Gaba in your life or like another good one is if you take an antihistamine and you get tired from that, that usually is a sign that like your Gaba system is, is hurting like Benadryl, Benadryl, unless it says specifically that it makes you drowsy, which in, in that case, there’s usually other ingredients that help you fall asleep.
34:04
Benadryl on its own should not be making you tired.
34:07
So interesting.
34:09
So today when we were laying by the pool and I passed out flat face drooling on the drooling on the thing, was that a good indication that I need Gava?
34:20
I mean, that possibly some days I do feel tired and other days I feel energized, but usually after being in the sun for a long time, like that’s like a way of grounding me.
34:29
I feel like it’s putting me in my body and then I get pretty tired.
34:33
Yeah.
34:33
Yeah.
34:33
I mean, it’s increasing your g, which is, that’s a good thing.
34:37
It’s funny that you bring that up though because I have a question right above that question on my questionnaire that says, do you get tired when you spend time in the sun in a bad way?
34:47
And usually that is like a lack of minerals and antioxidants, which I know that like we were just traveling, which is probably you were probably low at minerals and antioxidants because we haven’t really been taking the best care of ourselves in the last 24 hours.
35:03
So drooling and passing out is probably more along those lines versus like, yeah, the, you get tired but, like, in a good way, you’re like, oh, wow.
35:14
I just feel so relaxed.
35:16
Like, that’s a sign that you could probably afford to work on your G systems versus, like, and this is not how I always feel like I, my G system is something I routinely have to work on.
35:28
Like, today, I felt very energized after the sun.
35:31
And generally speaking, if you have optimized your health, that’s how you should feel is you should actually feel more energized by the sun than you did going into it.
35:41
Assuming that you’re not like being an asshole about your sun exposure and you’re not like frying for four hours.
35:47
Yeah, I think about that.
35:48
I’m thinking about it.
35:49
I don’t want to go down too much of a rabbit hole.
35:51
I want to keep us on track.
35:51
But like, I’m thinking about that, like, even during work, sometimes, like I do make an effort to go out in the middle of the day and I come back, I take a shower and I can continue working.
35:59
It’s usually like a really good break if I get out there for like, 2030 minutes, 45 minutes and just lay in the sun.
36:04
So, is that what you’re talking about?
36:07
Yeah, a little bit of sunlight, a little bit of movement.
36:10
There was like this really interesting study that I think about a lot that they had people take a nap for 20 minutes.
36:21
And another group of people went and walked for 20 minutes and then they measured like how, not just how creative they were after that, but also how productive they were.
36:31
So, and the group that went for a walk was both more creative and more productive than the group that took a nap.
36:38
So yeah, like really simple things like getting sunlight, getting grounded, getting some walking and like will dramatically improve your health both short and long term.
36:51
Yeah, sounds like it increases your capacity to kind of keep it with the word I’m using absolutely increases your capacity.
36:59
So what are some other things if there are any that someone can do to start eliminating from their lifestyle, their day to day to increase their capacity and have more of a regulated system so that they can keep showing up.
37:11
I would say another one would be increasing the quality of your food.
37:18
So we talked about like highly processed food.
37:21
So this one’s a little bit more niche.
37:23
So this would be moving from like genetically modified foods to organic produce, eliminating like pesticides and herbicides which have been shown to be root causes of like leaky gut symptoms, which could be like constipation, cramping, diarrhea on a more like micro level, you’d be reabsorbing endotoxin which can, you know, mess with your brain, create brain fog.
37:51
This would also allow you to like harvest or harbor parasites or bacteria in your intestines.
37:59
So, eliminating, yeah, eliminating pesticides and herbicides from your diet.
38:05
Moving from conventionally farmed chicken fish or beef to pasture, raised chicken and eggs to wild caught fish to grass, finished beef.
38:20
All of those will have without going too into the weeds.
38:23
They’ll have lower threats and higher benefits.
38:26
All of them will have more nutrition per the same amount of food, which is really cool.
38:32
So you get like more of the B vitamins and more of the Tara and more of the everything.
38:38
You’ll get a little bit more from choosing the higher quality foods and you’ll get less of the things that could pose threats to your system as well.
38:47
How serious is it to actually buy organic?
38:50
I mean, it’s such a, you hear it everywhere, right?
38:53
Get organic, sustainable, Nonprocessed foods.
38:56
But like truly like how, how much can it be impacting someone?
39:00
I think?
39:02
Well, it impacts us in so many different ways.
39:04
Like as far as your individual health goes, the data honestly is like not super clear as to whether or not organic foods are that much healthier than not GMO foods.
39:17
I think any time that you’re looking at one isolated variable in the, the research in humans, it’s really difficult to draw any conclusions because we can’t control for as many variables as we would like to like these people in these studies, for example, are just switching from conventionally grown produce to organic produce.
39:38
My like concept would be like, well, what if you took like five changes or 10 changes?
39:45
You know, and I don’t think that you can sum up exactly like how meaningful that is.
39:49
But I also wonder like, what if it’s like a baby is literally born and eats organic their whole lives compared to someone that’s sustainable and like, compare it that way.
40:00
And then also compare it to like someone that’s been eating GMO and regular fruits and then converting like what, how much of a difference it does.
40:08
Totally.
40:09
I, I also think like some of these, I think to your point, some of these things compound over time.
40:14
I mean, like, I didn’t notice any immediate changes within like three months, which again, any time that you read a research study, if it lasts three months, that’s like a very long research study, most of the time it’s going to be like four weeks, six weeks, eight weeks.
40:30
But over the course of years of having now switched over to organic produce.
40:36
I notice a big change whenever I do eat like traditionally grub produce.
40:42
I mean, first of all, it just doesn’t taste as good.
40:44
I was just gonna say my palate has gotten so much more pickier because of how much better the fruits are and the taste of like even potatoes.
40:55
Yeah.
40:56
Oh yeah.
40:56
I mean, all of the, all of the organic pasture is all of that, those higher quality foods, they taste so much better.
41:04
But I think it’s complicated to answer your question.
41:08
I think it’s complicated to tell you how impactful it is on one’s health.
41:13
I also think though that there’s a component to eating these high quality foods as far as like environmental sustainability and just like what’s good for the planet, you guys may or may not be familiar with these statistics.
41:27
But if we keep farming, the way that we have been farming, we have between like 3040 more harvests left of top soil.
41:36
So yeah, that essentially means we have 30 or 40 more years of harvesting in the United States the way that we’ve been farming and what’s really cool about organic or specifically regenerative organic agriculture, which is creating an ecosystem of crop rotation and also having the right animals and a diversity of plants and animals living on pastures.
42:05
The way that they’re supposed to is that we can actually like regenerate the soil and you know, essentially save our world.
42:14
And so, you know, as far as like to answer your question, is it that much more important for our health?
42:20
I think that it is, the research isn’t there yet.
42:24
But if you look at it from like a mechanistic standpoint, we have pretty good understanding of the dangers of GMO S and the dangers of pesticides and herbicides and of you know, the heavy metals and farmed fish versus wild cod fish and, you know, we could go on and on.
42:42
But I think the, what the impact is on the planet is significantly more important as far as, like, you know, the next generation, like having real food to eat, that’s not like grown in a lab.
42:55
So truth be told, I would say that’s the number one reason that people should buy organic and wild claw and pastures and all those things.
43:04
Yeah.
43:05
Yeah, that’s so beautifully sun.
43:07
What’s the next step in recalibrating your capacity?
43:11
So once you lower and eliminate the threats, then you want to refill your metabolic tank.
43:18
So you want to provide yourself with the right nutrients to, you know, to power yourself.
43:26
One of like, one of my primary focuses in working with my clients is the mitochondria specifically.
43:33
That is like the primary thing that I read about all the time is what are the biggest dangers to our mitochondria?
43:40
And what are the biggest benefactors to our mitochondria and the mitochondria?
43:45
Are they do a lot more than just create the energy like we were told in biology evidently.
43:52
But like we are told in biology, they do create all of the energy that our body uses to do everything that it does and it, the primary nutrients that your mitochondria used to do that are B vitamins.
44:08
So we get B vitamins.
44:10
We get most of the B vitamins from beef, chicken organ meats are super important for several of the B vitamins.
44:20
Brewer’s yeast is an excellent source of B vitamins if you don’t have gut issues.
44:25
So I would just say varied sources of protein.
44:28
Generally speaking, are going to cover your B vitamins.
44:32
I would say magnesium depending on where you get your information.
44:37
Between 60 95% of Americans are deficient in magnesium.
44:42
Largely because of the poor farming practices.
44:45
We’ve depleted our soil of magnesium because I think the statistics are like 85% of all of the water in America is contaminated with glyphosate.
44:56
We’ve depleted all of our water sources of magnesium too.
45:00
We used to get naturally occurring magnesium in our waters and now we’re not.
45:04
So it would be really hard to get magnesium from food alone.
45:09
You’d have to eat like a weird amount of salmon and avocado and it would get really weird and expensive.
45:13
So I would recommend picking up a magnesium supplement, find something high quality magnesium is also really well absorbed topically.
45:21
So doing things like Epsom salt baths or I mean, in best case scenario would be swimming in the ocean but doing things like that or, I mean, we actually just use a magnesium spray and we just spray that on our bodies and it’s, it’s really great.
45:36
There’s magnesium deodorants that you can use.
45:39
So there’s lots of different ways to get magnesium throughout your day.
45:43
And then I would say like a couple of other really important things would be like collagen and iodine and DH A.
45:49
So eat your, eat your seafood, eat your seafood and eat the whole, the whole animal.
45:57
So I mentioned organ meats earlier.
45:59
Obviously, I am a big proponent of, you know, eating beef and other muscle meats as well.
46:06
But it’s also really important to consume collagen or gelatin bone broth, bone marrow, things like that, that, that will supply collagen.
46:17
Collagen is the most abundant protein in your body.
46:20
And it’s really important that we consume it.
46:22
And again, to the point that I made about the regenerative organic agriculture, I think the the statistic is something like a cow can feed a family of four if we were to use the entire cow for like 200 days.
46:39
I want to say something like that.
46:40
It’s like something crazy.
46:43
A lot of media that is used to support like vegetarianism.
46:48
For example, you know, they say like we’re slaughtering a cow and it like only feeds you a couple of times.
46:54
And it’s because in America, like we don’t use the whole cow, but you know, you can start to use more of it by consuming the organ meats, eating bone marrow, eating bone meats, making bone broth, things like that make having gelatin and having collagen.
47:09
And it’s also really, really important for yourselves too.
47:12
So those would be a few nutrients and a few things to think about to boost your metabolism and start which will ultimately build your capacity before we go to the last step of this process.
47:25
Can you talk a little bit about what kinds of magnesium?
47:27
Because there’s a lot of different types of magnesium.
47:30
And people get so confused about like, you know, I was constantly here like, oh I can’t take magnesium during the day because it’s going to put me to sleep.
47:37
But isn’t there a very specific magnesium that actually puts it calms you down and then there’s other magnesiums that you can do for muscle recovery.
47:45
So do you want to kind of cover which specific magnesium you’re talking about?
47:48
Sure.
47:49
Yeah, I think magnesium gate is cheap and is a really good one for everybody to start with.
47:56
It supplies glycine.
47:58
In addition to magnesium, glycine is a really important amino acid, especially for people who eat a high protein diet.
48:06
It helps to balance the amino acid ratio.
48:09
So we were talking about glutamate and Gaba earlier glycine is really important for Gaba and a lot of the amino acids we get from muscle meats will increase glutamate, not in a bad way, but it just in a way that needs to be balanced with collagen with gelatin or even just straight up glycine.
48:29
So magnesium glycinate, that’s a really good one to start with.
48:33
For topical magnesium, there’s magnesium chloride or magnesium sulfate.
48:39
You can also ingest magnesium chloride.
48:41
It’s one that I would recommend being like building up to tolerating higher amounts because it can cause like some ramping for people or potentially diarrhea, but it’s generally very well absorbed, which is nice.
48:58
And then if you want like a couple of special ones, I think the most, the one that is most likely to help with your sleep would be magnesium acetyl l tarin.
49:11
So that one will supply taurine and it very easily crosses your blood brain barrier, which is really nice.
49:18
That’s why it helps with sleep.
49:19
It helps with stress.
49:20
It’s also very well absorbed.
49:23
So those are kind of like my three go tos.
49:25
I like having a topical one.
49:26
I think magnesium glycinate is a super safe one for everybody to use and it’s cheap.
49:32
And then if you want to spend a little bit more money for specific stress and sleep support, you could go with the acetyl L Tate as well.
49:42
Amazing.
49:43
That’s so helpful.
49:44
Thank you so much for sharing all that because I think it’s just helpful to like walk that through.
49:48
So just to quickly summarize before I go to the last one.
49:50
So like in order to recta capacity one, you want to eliminate the threats, but two you want to restore and add to your body, like support your body and give your, your cellular health power.
50:02
Is that fair?
50:04
And then what’s the 3rd and 3rd is detox?
50:07
So I have a nice little acronym to help you with detox because I know everybody is talking about detox on social media and it gets to be really overwhelming and confusing and what’s like, it’s so bizarre to me and this is going to be a slight tangent, but like, people will come into the store that I work at and they tell me that they want to detox and they ask me what supplement they should take for that.
50:34
And I’ll ask them like, well, is there like a specific organ you’re trying to detox or you like wanting to do a parasite cleanse or like how are you wanting to feel as a result of your detox?
50:45
And people who genuinely do not know?
50:47
So I I wanted like dispel detox for you and just make it very simple.
50:53
This is certainly not going to be all there is to detoxing.
50:56
But remember this acronym, the acronym is Bulls like the Chicago basketball team, the B stands for Bowels and the U stands for urinary.
51:09
So generally speaking, we want to be going to the bathroom number one and number two every day, multiple times per day.
51:18
It should not be painful.
51:20
Your urine should be relatively clear.
51:24
Something that a lot of people, a lot of people think they might more hydrated than they are because the water in your toilet bowl is clear.
51:33
So however clear your pee looks in the toilet, just know that it’s a lot more yellow if you were to like pee directly into a cup.
51:40
So if it’s like kind of yellow, you’re not pretty hydrated, like you’re probably still pretty dehydrated.
51:47
And then for bowel movements, there is a chart that I use with all of my clients.
51:53
I’d highly recommend checking it out.
51:54
It’s very simple to understand.
51:56
It’s called the Bristol stool chart.
51:58
And it’s a scale of 1 to 7.
52:01
And it can tell you a lot about your health in general based on what your poops look like.
52:08
So I know that all of us, all, we all, every human I have ever met has this guilty pleasure.
52:14
They don’t want to talk about where they look at their poop before they flush it.
52:18
And so you might as well be finding out something about your health when you do that.
52:22
But generally speaking, you want to go to the bathroom 2 to 3 times per day.
52:27
It should be like toothpaste consistency.
52:30
You shouldn’t have to be pushing and you don’t want to spend a lot of time sitting on this toilet.
52:34
That’s how you get hemorrhoids.
52:36
So that’s, that’s B and U bowels and urinary.
52:41
Then the two Ls, we have liver.
52:44
So I’ll keep the liver stuff very high level.
52:47
A lot of liver detoxification, we already covered all of the nutrients that are really important for detox.
52:54
Like Tara, like B vitamins, like magnesium.
52:57
You can also love on your liver a little bit more by eliminating alcohol and eliminating grains and another thing that you can do to support your liver is grounding.
53:09
So we talked a little bit earlier about major threat to our cellular health are these electromagnetic frequencies.
53:17
So it turns out that the earth can undo some of the threats that like wi fi are posing to us.
53:25
So generally speaking, humans are a positive pole and the earth is a negative pole and electrons will just flow in the direction of the path of least resistance.
53:38
And so when you make contact with the earth, the earth will just feed you electrons and our mitochondria run on electrons.
53:48
So this is really good for us and it’s specifically really good for your liver.
53:52
So that’s liver.
53:54
The next l is lymph and the last s is sweat.
53:59
So without getting too much into your lymph system, generally speaking, we want to just be circulating the lymph, we can do that through exercise through sauna.
54:12
And you know, just generally you want to be sweating.
54:15
So you want, for example, if you exercise and you’re not sweating, that’s not good.
54:21
You should sweat.
54:22
If you go to the sauna and you’re not sweating and you just get really hot, that’s not good.
54:27
We’re not detoxifying.
54:28
So our skin is our largest detox organ.
54:32
So sweat more, move more, eliminate grains and alcohol and go to the bathroom regularly, drink enough water, eat the right fibers, maybe take a probiotic.
54:46
It’s really nothing crazy.
54:47
I think a lot of people like want to take all these crazy supplements.
54:51
I was just talking about this with you and a couple of our friends, like I have been taking basically one supplement, just a magnesium supplement for like three or four months now.
55:00
So the least amount of supplements I’ve taken in the last couple of years, I think that you may need to take several supplements when you’re starting this journey of health optimization.
55:11
But at a certain point, I think you get rid of all the, all together.
55:14
So this these bowls, the detox, it can be done with just food and proper living.
55:23
So go touch grass and sweat more.
55:25
Yeah, I that’s I thank you for that.
55:27
That’s amazing.
55:28
And I think detoxing is so important to break down because you know, you just hear detox, like people go to the, go to the juice store and they’re like, can I get the detoxing drink and then you go to this thing?
55:40
And they’re like, I want to do this detoxing program.
55:43
And I think a lot of the times people are doing it from a place of like weight loss, not necessarily from a place of actually nurturing their health.
55:50
And that’s a lesson that I had to learn personally.
55:53
And now understanding how our body, our detox pathways actually work and how important it is to get them functioning.
56:01
I, you know, I another is something that I’ve done personally to help with my lymphatic system for those that might be interested in knowing like, I do a lot, I do dry brushing, brushing every single morning.
56:11
And then right afterwards I give myself like a lymphatic massage to, like, help me detox and open up my detox pathways because I have noticed that like, I tend to sweat less than most people and, but just by doing that, like, I’m waking up my system first thing in the morning and I’m giving it an opportunity to like open up.
56:31
Yeah, maybe we can do a whole little episode on that or they can reach out to you about how they can actually detox their, their lymphatic system.
56:36
But poops are important.
56:38
Clearly, poops are important.
56:40
Poops are very important and I don’t think we talk about it enough until you start to think about like, oh, am I really going to the bathroom every day?
56:46
And I think the other thing that’s important to notice here is like, are you pooping without coffee?
56:52
Right?
56:52
Like you’re not using something to get you to go to the bathroom because I leverage that for so many years, you know, I would be like, oh, I haven’t poop today, so I have to get a coffee so I can get it going and get a brewing and our bodies are naturally supposed to go on their own and if that’s not happening, then something is clearly wrong and that you can learn so much about your health just by that based on what you told us something that also came up before we conclude here.
57:20
You know, remember we were talking about those two people, like, there’s one person that spends millions of dollars, 23 millions of dollars every single year biohacking.
57:30
And then there’s this one lady that literally just leverages food nutrition, wellness, everything like this.
57:37
And she’s actually aging less than the other guy is.
57:41
Yeah, it’s, it’s pretty crazy.
57:43
Many of you probably are familiar with Brian Johnson.
57:46
He’s kind of like he, I think he was one of the founders of Venmo and he exited Bemo.
57:54
And so he’s a tech mogul and he’s a billionaire and he has decided that he wants to spend his money solving for longevity.
58:04
And so he has the most rigorous health plan of probably anybody on the planet and he spends $2 million a year plus this past year or maybe even the beginning of this year, he did, he invested $700,000 in an experimental therapy that has no human trials on it.
58:25
So, I mean, I don’t know how often he has to get that done, but it might actually be closer to $3 million now on supplements and medications and biohacking tools and blood tests and all this stuff.
58:38
And there’s a list of people how quickly their epigenetic age is changing.
58:45
And I think his rate is like 0.76 which is top 10 in the world for slowest rate of aging.
58:51
But there’s a woman ahead of him who doesn’t take any supplements, I don’t think.
58:56
And she like occasionally saunas or cold plunges.
58:59
But outside of that, it’s just like whole food living, living in accordance with our biology.
59:06
As I’ve mentioned several times throughout this podcast already, like eating clean whole foods and just like, probably having a spiritual practice and being connected in community and like all of those like very basic things.
59:20
While Brian Johnson spend $2 million he injects his teenage son’s blood.
59:27
That’s literally one of the things that he does that is wild, that is so wild.
59:31
Well, thank you so much for coming out of the podcast.
59:34
I think it’s so important for us to talk about this because these are things that we can easily implement into our lives today.
59:40
And I will say, you know, with my journey, I probably started closer to like, I had parts of it years ago, but like actually putting it all together probably the last two years and I’ve even been doubled down even more in the last year, actually, more like four years because I was working with my Natur pa before that.
59:56
And I have noticed a significant change.
59:58
Like if you, if anyone here remembers me showing up on Instagram years ago, you saw my face was so swollen and puffy and round.
1:00:07
And now I feel like tracking macros and I was tracking macros and eating like shit and following all these diets and everyone was vegan vegetarian.
1:00:18
I mean, there’s a whole whole list of things and nothing was working properly.
1:00:22
I felt exhausted.
1:00:24
I was chronically fatigued.
1:00:25
My anxiety level was up, was higher.
1:00:28
And yes, I got to work all through that, through like minds work and like inner work.
1:00:31
But I really think that this was like the, the piece too and to this work, you know, it’s so important to remember that it’s all these things, right?
1:00:40
Like our inner well being like our gut influences our brains and vice versa, our brain influences our gut.
1:00:48
So we have to be able to do that.
1:00:50
And there’s also an emotional side of this, which I’m sure we can always talk about too.
1:00:53
But can you share with them what you’re up to today?
1:00:57
And if you have anything that you’re offering as well as what is the best way to contact you if they’re interested in just learning a little bit more about what you’re talking about?
1:01:06
I know you’re going to be dropping a free guide here soon that maybe they can get their hands on.
1:01:13
Yeah, so I am dropping a free guide.
1:01:16
It’s a free guide about health optimization for free.
1:01:21
So, so many of the things that I talked about today are in alignment with your evolutionary biology.
1:01:28
And so it’s kind of like the anti biohacking guide.
1:01:33
I have actually come up with a term for this.
1:01:35
I haven’t even shared it with you, babe.
1:01:37
It’s bio returning.
1:01:39
Wow.
1:01:40
So there’s biohacking, which is spending as much money as one can to undo all of the problems with America.
1:01:47
And then there’s bio returning where you just live in accordance with our evolutionary and circa in biology, you need to trademark this and it’s, and it’s for free.
1:01:57
So if you would be interested in the bio returning guide or the free guide to health optimization, send me a message on Instagram.
1:02:08
I’m currently at I am Nick Balletto.
1:02:12
I have tentatively created a new Instagram just because we’ve had this Instagram for a long time and it’s got like personal stuff on there.
1:02:22
And so I don’t know if you reach out to me and I am nickle, you’ll find me for sure.
1:02:26
OK, we’ll put, we’ll make sure to put that one in the show notes so people can reach out to you for that for now.
1:02:32
In the meanwhile, I am taking on clients doing anywhere from 12 week programs that are completely self led to my coaching, which developing certain parts of my coaching because the more I’m realizing the like entire last 10 or 15 years of my life, like my life’s work really is there.
1:02:54
It’s all necessary like all of the, all of the health stuff that I’ve learned in the last couple of years wouldn’t have worked if it wasn’t for all the personal development, which wouldn’t have worked if it wasn’t for fitness.
1:03:05
So I’m going to be putting together a really, really cool, super comprehensive guide and coaching program.
1:03:12
That’s going to be all of those things.
1:03:14
But for now I have been taking on holistic health coaching clients if you’d be interested in that too.
1:03:20
Yeah, it’s, it’s really cool to see you step into this wooly and like I just love, I just love sharing your work because you come from, you have so many, you have all the puzzle pieces together.
1:03:32
Like you did somatics, you did emotional work, you did trauma work.
1:03:36
You’ve worked with people on mindset, you’ve done N LP and then he brought fitness and nutrition and now you’re a certified holistic practitioner about to be a traditional naturopathic doctor.
1:03:48
And so it’s such a well rounded gift that I think most people don’t get.
1:03:53
And the way that our medical system is built is like they’re not looking at the human being as a whole and you get to offer that in your work with them.
1:04:01
So anyone that would be able to do that with you would be receiving such a blessing and such a gift.
1:04:08
I’ve already seen it with your current clients and I can’t wait for you to see it to see it happen with others.
1:04:14
So, thank you so much for coming on the podcast.
1:04:16
I love you and let’s get this out there.
1:04:19
I love you too.
1:04:20
Thanks for having me.

Full Transcript0:00
Welcome to the fully expressed podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I am your podcast host, Karenna Soto.
0:04
And this is the show where we have conversations that invite you into living a life, fully expressed, creating relationships where you feel the most fully expressed, bringing your fullest expressed version into your businesses and in your careers.
0:18
And what I love about the show is that traditionally, we are always just having conversations where you feel like it’s just two of us sitting at dinner table and you’re just like hanging out with us.
0:29
So I’m so excited for you to listen to today’s episode.
0:32
I’m bringing on a new guest onto the podcast.
0:35
This new guest, her name is Mariana.
0:38
That’s how I say it, right?
0:39
You Mariana Beauty.
0:42
Her name is Mariana Jimenez.
0:43
And we actually met at a podcast conference called Podcast Evolutions 2024 in LA and one, if you are thinking about a podcast or you just want to hear how podcasting businesses are at that conference, I found very, very helpful.
1:00
But when I walked away even more with like how I putting like podcasting business can be, but also just like the community of people there.
1:08
Like I’ve, I’ve been to a number of conferences from A I conferences, to government conferences, to tech conferences, to like women’s conferences.
1:18
And it was so special to be a part of a community where everyone’s willing to contribute to each other’s success.
1:25
You know, you really felt this like deep support and I got to meet Mariana because they had these like little meetups that you got to choose.
1:33
So there was one full day that was like, really encouraging connection.
1:36
I was like, you’re thinking about a conference, like you guys should really do this.
1:39
But there was women in tech, I guess, I guess women in tech or women in podcasting beat up.
1:46
And that’s where I met Mariana and it was hilarious because I remember walking into that and like, I sat down with like 20 women and then like, everyone just like, shuffled their business cards from like left to right left to right.
2:01
It was like, oh my God, this is how we do business.
2:03
And then we sat down getting to know one of each other and like talking with one another and it was just, I, I met Marianna and I was like, ok, Mara, you have to come onto the podcast.
2:12
So for those, I don’t know, but Marianna is a resilience coach, I’m going to let her introduce herself, but she has so much to offer about resiliency and what that actually means in defining that.
2:23
And I think where we’re going to really get to is how you leverage that as a foundation to being a woman that is fully expressed to really stepping into your fullest express version.
2:33
But we do need that sense of resilience as a part of our tool set as we’re stepping into that a express version of us.
2:41
So, hi Mariana.
2:42
Hello.
2:43
You humbled me so much.
2:45
I honestly bee lined for Karenna when I met her at the conference.
2:49
So we were like, you made it seem so cas meta, but I honestly met her or what you had to say about your career.
2:56
And I was like, I need to talk to this girl.
2:57
So a little bit, it was a little bit more crazy than she made it seem so I really appreciate how much she humbled me.
3:03
But thank you so much for the lovely introduction.
3:07
I’m so happy to be here as Karenna said, my name is Mariana and I’m so glad we get to say our names like properly pronounced in like the Latino way.
3:15
I love it at all.
3:16
I am the founder of Committed to Growth resilience coaching as well as the host of the Commitment to Growth podcast, which I don’t know, was on actually recorded this morning.
3:23
So this is fantastic and I am really focused on educating women on how to lead resilient lives by cultivating resilient minds, resilient lifestyles and resilient hearts.
3:35
So my kind of pillar for my business is I like to define resilience as not and of having grit and willpower towards one area of your life.
3:46
One problem that you’re, that you’re dealing with at a given moment, resilience is actually the how the foundations in your life come together to give you strength to persevere through, through adversity.
3:57
So there are six pillars in my business that I work off of just to kind of give context as to what those foundations are.
4:04
So I look at six things in your life, your relationship to yourself, your quality of connections with others, your physical health and lifestyle habits, your relationship to your thoughts and emotions, your capacity for delayed gratification and your ability to shift your perspective during times of challenge.
4:22
So those are kind of the six areas where I like to say that if you come to me with something, we’ll kind of zoom out and look at those areas of your life to see where maybe there’s a few blips that are causing you to feel less strong, less able to persevere, less able to find, encourage and inspiration within you to transcend what you’re, what you’re navigating in a given moment.
4:44
So that’s a bit about me and, and the work that I do so beautiful and so exciting.
4:49
I feel like there’s so much there that we can jump into.
4:52
I would love to hear how you, where your story started.
4:55
Like, what does it look like for you.
4:56
Like where were you before you even thought about coaching, but like really being able to even apply these tools and these areas into your areas of life.
5:05
Yeah, I feel like this answer changes every single because now I’m in a place in my career where I can look back and say, I think it was always something that I wanted to, to do is pursue life coaching or at least the purpose embedded in life coaching.
5:19
But essentially one year ago, I finished my bachelor’s degree in Kine.
5:23
So sports, science and nutrition for the that don’t know the term kinesiology.
5:28
And for like 12 years of my life, I thought I was going to become a doctor.
5:32
So I finished last year, I had planned on writing my medical school entrance exam and applying to medical school and decided to go work in health care while I ran through that process and going into health care.
5:44
For many, many reasons.
5:46
I just realized that it was not the way that I could fulfill the purpose that I wanted to, to fulfill.
5:52
I was really and discouraged that the system, the way that the system sees human health, which is that very kind of biological mechanical model of your body has a cause and effect versus looking at you as a whole mind, body, spirit emotions, right?
6:07
So that was kind of the main reason why I said, I just don’t think I can, I can go into that work and expect to be as fulfilled as I’d like to be.
6:14
So I went through a big existential crisis.
6:16
I canceled the exam.
6:17
I deferred my applications and said, ok, well, why not try life coaching to see, you know, what happens?
6:25
And at that point, I had already interviewed a number of coaches on my podcast.
6:28
So I already pulled a ton of inspiration from them as to how I wanted to approach my medical career eventually.
6:34
So I said, you know what, let’s try, let’s try the road.
6:37
They walked on, ended up loving it.
6:39
And because at that point, I already had the commit to Growth podcast as a little passion project.
6:44
I just branded out, commit to growth out as a whole as, as the brand that now exists and that I know create with.
6:51
So why ation resilience coaching is because throughout my, my career in Kines, I always have this question of what is it that makes people truly resilient, right?
7:03
Because in school, I learned about how physical health contributes to that as far as your physical strength, your physical health, but also your your psychological health, right?
7:12
But it still struck me that there are people who led perfectly resilient and well not resilient, sorry, kind of holistically balanced lives and they were unhappy, they didn’t have what they want, they were really unfulfilled with life.
7:26
So it was that question that was always looming above me and when I went into life coaching and really started, like, went really deep into my study of human behavior.
7:36
And I got in, I did neuroscience internship at school.
7:39
I started to notice that it was a lot that was around the, the definition of resilience and how we look at resilience because how we’re taught, what we’re taught something means creates our schema or like way of looking at it.
7:51
Right.
7:52
So I know as I’m sure a lot of your listeners can relate to.
7:55
There’s this sense.
7:56
So I’m not disciplined.
7:57
I’m super lazy, like such an impostor when you can’t transcend something in your life because we think that you have to try it, that thing again and again and again and again.
8:06
But what I learned is that no, it’s everything that’s beneath or around that thing that is usually where the gap is that needs to be filled.
8:17
So that’s the approach I’ve been trying to take to really just heal women’s relationship with how they view resilience and themselves ultimately, right?
8:24
Because that repeating narrative of I am not capable.
8:27
I’m so lazy.
8:28
I’m so this, I’m so that really harms your, your self image and your trust in your, your strength, in your perseverance.
8:35
So that’s, that’s how this came to be in a nutshell.
8:40
That’s, I mean, I’d love to thank you for sharing that.
8:42
I’d love to double down on that a little bit more.
8:44
So like if someone is, let’s say running into the same thing over and over again.
8:50
And then they find themselves in these, in these stories of like, I’m not good enough, I’m lazy.
8:56
I’m, I can’t change.
8:58
This is who I am.
9:00
It’s always going to be this result.
9:02
You know, this, it sounds very like victim mindset, but like very, it’s not that I want to highlight that it’s a victim mindset.
9:08
It’s just kind of really stuck in that story of like this is who I am and this is what always will be and how would you navigate that?
9:17
I think a lot of times you have to address why you keep approaching things the same way, expecting a different result.
9:25
And I would say that with what I’ve seen and the people I’ve worked with, it usually comes down to the attachment to some outcome being one of the reasons why there’s that repeated try and fail process.
9:36
But also there’s usually some kind of limiting belief within about yourself, right?
9:42
Because if you are fearing innovation or adaptability to something new, there’s probably something within you that really fears either the newness of that new approach or your perception of your capability to adopt that new approach, right?
9:58
So I think it starts there because the moment that you can identify perhaps the leading belief or the leading thought that is kind of keeping you in circles, that’s the domino effect to everything that comes before that.
10:09
So for example, one that comes a lot is in relationships when people don’t ask for their needs to be met.
10:16
So there is this constant kind of toxic cycle between the two partners or anybody in a partnership who they get really frustrated at each other.
10:24
Because why don’t the other person know what I want?
10:27
This person should know and understand that I need whether it’s physical touch or their attention or their undivided attention.
10:34
Right.
10:34
But, ok, so a you’re assuming that the person should know what you want, right?
10:39
So the the the issue here is there’s no communication, why is there no communication?
10:43
And that’s kind of the seed that then sprouts kind of everything else from there, right?
10:48
Oh, so if there’s no communication, it’s probably because I fear stating my needs.
10:51
Ok.
10:52
So that’s driving the behavior.
10:54
How do we work back to, to find the seed of that fear?
10:57
Right.
10:58
So that’s kind of the pro 11 of my processes in a nutshell.
11:02
Yeah, that’s, I mean, so beautiful.
11:04
It’s really inviting that compassionate curiosity to be like, oh, so why am I not communicating?
11:10
Oh, I struggle to express my needs and my wants.
11:13
Well, where does that come from?
11:15
So it’s really kind of diving deeper into the seed of the fear or the root of the fear that you hear a lot commonly.
11:22
So that’s really helpful.
11:23
And so for a client that wants to build more of their resiliency towards working through these, these limiting beliefs or these challenges, what can they do and practice and their day to day to get them to a place where they are capable of combating that limiting belief that comes up often or that’s capable of combating that thought that says you’re lazy, you’re not worthy, you’re going to stay the same like this.
11:53
It’s not worth it.
11:54
So how can someone combat that in their daily practice?
11:58
Yeah, that’s a beautiful question I think for, for me, I have the privilege of working with.
12:03
I would say the vast majority of my clients are women who I have a midlife crisis like their Children, just they’re growing older and they don’t depend on their moms anymore or they’ve arrived at a place in which they’re not satisfied with the life that they have anymore.
12:18
They’ve been going in circles for way too long.
12:20
But the process out of that is really difficult because as you know, when you make something, a habit like a routine or a way of thinking or a way of believing, it becomes solidified in your brain, right?
12:31
And it becomes way harder to break it and adopt something new.
12:36
So I would say that a lot of the work starts with, OK, what are the living beliefs that are keeping you where you are?
12:42
So as far as how much do you believe in your capabilities, what capabilities do you think you have or don’t have that will get you to where you want.
12:48
But the most consistent block that I see in the women that I coach is this in a meant to their desires.
12:57
So it’s very common that someone will come to me and say I’m not satisfied with my life anymore.
13:03
But I don’t know what my ideal life looks like or I know that I don’t want to be in this job anymore or this relationship anymore, but I don’t know what I desire instead of this.
13:13
And it’s not so much that they don’t know, it’s more that there’s a fear in accepting that what you want you’re worthy of having.
13:22
So I’m sure a lot of people can relate to this and, and you as well, you have this, this notion in your mind of, well, I want to wake up to a beachfront property and I want to roll over and see my ideal partner lying next to me and I want three Chihuahuas and a yacht and a marble kitchen and then some part of your brain goes.
13:43
But you’re not successful, you haven’t done anything and like to deserve those things.
13:48
You have never had a successful relationship.
13:51
So what makes you think that you would roll over and see the perfect person beside you?
13:54
Right.
13:54
That’s usually what stops the, the fullest expression of that desire.
13:59
We give ourselves reason to believe that we can’t have what we want.
14:02
So, a lot of that process is really step into that.
14:06
Like the empowerment of what do you want, state it, claim it.
14:10
It’s OK if you don’t have it right now, there’s this beautiful quote by, by Jim Rone.
14:14
He’s like one of the most like new renowned, like scholars or professionals in early like 19 seventies days of personal growth.
14:23
And it’s literally like the quote that I see every time I open up my laptop because it’s my desktop picture, it says success is not a doing process.
14:31
It’s a becoming process.
14:33
So that’s really the the ideology that I try to instill in my clients is or anybody really that I come across is it’s not about getting what you want.
14:42
It’s becoming the person that can accept those things.
14:45
And I think that’s where a lot of the work is so well said, and I’m glad that you brought that to that place because I think that that happens all the time where people, you know, I struggle with this.
14:54
Like we talked about affirmations or manifestation boards and you have these vision boards and you’re like, those are the kinds of things that I want, right?
15:02
You are, you’re creating this space of like, I think that’s what I want.
15:06
Like that’s, that’s what looks good.
15:07
I’ll be happy once I receive those things.
15:10
But it’s so much more about the journey of becoming the woman, the person, the being that is able to receive those things, right?
15:19
And in my experience has been like, really getting to a place where you, it’s based on feeling.
15:25
I would love your perspective on this because, you know, it’s really like in becoming, it’s like, well, how do I actually want to feel and then peeling it back from there as to like, ok, so I want to feel happy and I want to feel content, what parts of my life don’t feel that way, you know, and like, and then work from that area.
15:41
But it’s like getting all these different parts of you on board to fully feel the becoming of what you’re calling in.
15:49
Is that fair?
15:51
No, 100% you just, the more we talk, the more I’m like, we are the same person so happy to see that there’s more people walking about and really embracing this idea of how do you want to feel?
16:02
Are you familiar with the book?
16:04
The Desire Map that tell us that’s actually the, it’s actually the book or I got that concept.
16:10
So this book, it’s called The Desire Map by Daniela Port and it’s called the Desire Map because she kind of takes you on a journey towards really figuring out what you want.
16:20
So really tuning into what that desire is, but she approaches it the same way.
16:25
She says, don’t have a vision of what that looks like.
16:27
Focus first on how you want to feel in life.
16:30
Do you want to feel happy when you wake up.
16:31
Do you want to feel abundant, financially secure?
16:34
Like just blurt out everything that you want to feel?
16:37
Because the moment that you, you identify what you want to feel, the things and the people and the situations that manifest those feelings for you will come into your life.
16:45
You have to focus on and become the magnet of your emotions because at the end of the day, like you might not have $5 million in the bank, but you can still feel abundant.
16:55
You can still feel like a force of attraction for opportunities and stuff, right?
16:59
Because you do have control over most of the time, over your emotions and when you adopt them and embody them, the things that are aligned with that will come into your life.
17:09
And what’s interesting is that there’s, there’s always a catch to that and I, this is why I love this work and I love seeing how takes people places where they thought they might not have or they might not end up because oftentimes our idea of success or joy or satisfaction is tied to something that society tells us we will manifest that.
17:29
But I’ve seen a lot in myself and in the people I worked with, they really focus on that feeling and something totally different comes along like a totally different person that they and they envision would make them happy in a partnership or a job opportunity of some kind, right?
17:42
Because at the end of the day it’s what’s vibrating with our values and our desires.
17:46
Not necessarily our conception of what we think success or, or joy is, you know, so absolutely on board with that every single day.
17:54
Yeah, I hear that something that came to mind when you are talking about something recently that I’ve done in my partnership, especially like when we’re going through hard times or like going through tough seasons or whatever, I realize I have a tendency to focus on the tough seasons, like the negative aspect of what’s happening and it attracts that feeling, you know, it’s like, well, I’m focusing on the negative in, in this situation, I’m focusing on the things that the lack of right, or the thing we could have or how things could be differently and that I end up attracting more of that, right?
18:25
And so this is back to the sense of manifestation, like I was manifesting more of that.
18:30
And so when you’re able to, and then what I’ve noticed is like, if I just focus on what I’m really damn grateful for my relationship, like what we do have, like, I feel overly grateful and overly abundant and I attract more abundancy.
18:44
And I think that’s what we’re talking to, right?
18:46
Like I think that’s like the another thing, the double edged sword to, to manifestation because if you are in this like deep negative focus whatever you focus on or whatever you put your energy towards is what you’ll receive.
19:00
And what we’re talking to so much is like the actual opportunity and becoming and feeling the thing that we want the external results is we always think that like we want these external results.
19:10
But at the end of the day, it’s like, how do you want to feel in that?
19:12
Because we all have access to feeling those things without the external results.
19:19
And if we can come from that place, I really think that a we build a sense of resiliency because even with the, with or without the thing, we still feel that way that I think that is such a beautiful thing for any of the listeners to listen to is like, even if we don’t have, let’s say you’re single and you don’t have the partner, you’re not married, even for a new person, but you still feel this way.
19:42
Congratulations.
19:43
Like you feel good.
19:44
You know, you don’t need to have the partner or the relationship or like, let’s say like the $5 million account that you were talking about.
19:51
It’s like, ok, I want $5 million in the bank.
19:54
But what if I, I felt like I had $5 million of the bank?
19:56
Congratulations.
19:57
That is a huge win, you know, without the $5 million.
20:01
Because I think if we can feel that way throughout our lives, we will call in more organically, but it does build a sense of resiliency if we can bring ourselves to that 100%.
20:11
No.
20:11
And that is, that is right back to that pillar of how are you able to tailor your perspective during times of change?
20:17
But also I think it also touches beautifully on, it’s all integrated.
20:21
That’s why I love this.
20:22
It’s really about how you, how your relationship with your emotions and your thoughts are because you can hold both at the same time, right?
20:29
So in your example, you can recognize that you’re going through something difficult and that you’re having trouble navigating.
20:36
But you said something beautiful in the recording that never got uploaded because we had to record our episode on my podcast.
20:45
You said something so beautiful that day was the concept of, of and because we are, yes and because yes, you can be frustrated or upset at the hard times that you’re going through with your partner.
20:57
And you can also focus on the abundance and the joy within that because a we are such intricate human beings, all of us, but you can make room for both.
21:07
You don’t have to focus all your energy on one because that’s exactly like exactly like you said, what you, what you focus on grows essentially and it’s not, it’s not being toxic positive, right?
21:19
I think that’s the other aspect that people really get wrong.
21:22
They’re like, well, then I just feel like I’m neglecting or diminishing the the not so nice as I feel and I’m like, no, again, you can be both.
21:31
But what do you want more of, to grow, more of the sadness, more of the pain or do you want to grow hope and abundance and, and fulfillment?
21:38
You know?
21:39
Yeah.
21:39
As I think the first thing I think about like in moments of like tough times, like in the past, that’s like the only thing I would be hyper vigilant on.
21:46
And then when I’ve been able to we that, hey, I see that this is a tough time and I’m so grateful.
21:53
Like there, there’s a sense of duality in that and there’s a sense of peace and grounded.
21:57
It’s like the positivity I don’t want yeah, to your point, like I’m like, trying not to be like, positively toxic, but that’s not what I’m saying.
22:04
It’s like the positive, the grateful look or the grounded view of it is resourcing us to be with also hard.
22:13
So it’s like, and you think about it from like the nervous system perspective, it’s so much about like, hey, how can I be in the duality of both?
22:20
Because being in the heart is hard.
22:22
Totally.
22:22
I don’t want to take away from that.
22:23
And there’s also a lot to be grateful for and when you’re able to hold both and be in the Yes and you aren’t doing yourself a disservice or you’re not doing a disservice to the parts of you or ignoring yourself or overriding your experience.
22:36
It’s like really being with your entire experience.
22:38
Is that fair?
22:39
Yes.
22:40
No, 100%.
22:41
And I think that’s the, that’s the beauty of, of the human experience, right?
22:45
Is that you can, you can feel so many things at once, even if some of the things are so comfortable.
22:49
Hope is I think, and I think I’ve grown to learn, it’s such a form of resist, resistance to the consumer culture, right?
22:57
Like we are in a society that and not to get too political or anything, right?
23:02
But we’re in a society that keeps us wanting more through material goods or it wants to convince us that our joy and our happiness is in more consumption.
23:11
But really again, it’s in that becoming process, right?
23:14
If you want abundance, you have to feel abundant and that comes from looking at the things in your life that make you abundant.
23:21
So the family relationships, if you don’t have that, that’s ok.
23:24
Your friends outside of your family, your your job, your physical health, your house, right?
23:29
You have to create that fulfillment and in that sense of awe from what you already have.
23:36
And in that, even if you’re working towards a goal, knowing that the only reason why that goal or that dream was planted in your mind is because some part of you already knows that you have what it takes.
23:47
Because imagine like for you or for of your listeners, imagine something that you want now or that you’re working towards that at some point in your life, you were like, I never thought I could do this.
23:56
Like, what I’m doing now running a business by myself and the podcast and everything.
24:00
If you had told me that like a year ago, that I’d be doing this following me before my existential Christ, I would have told you, there’s no way like I don’t have what it takes.
24:08
But then life pivots you and slowly you start adapting the confidence and the and the belief in yourself and it comes in step by sequences.
24:17
But that only started from a curiosity, right?
24:19
And the curiosity grew as I explored it in my case.
24:22
And then that confidence comes from competence, right?
24:26
From the experience.
24:27
So it’s about leading into what you already have and trusting that to get you to the next step.
24:32
It’s, it’s enough for now.
24:33
Yes.
24:34
So I thank you for that.
24:35
I want to hear a little bit more about this accidental crisis that you had.
24:40
Yeah, I mean, I, I think it was, it was so born out of the attachment I had to outcome, right?
24:49
Like I had tied so much of my identity to becoming a doctor because I spent so many years doing the pre-med route, right?
24:58
Like for those of you that don’t know if you’re a pre-med in university, you are grinding because you have to make yourself stand out as much as possible.
25:07
Being yourself is not enough in the eyes of medical school advisors.
25:09
You have to have a job volunteer at hospitals and doctors offices, get top tier grades, contribute back to your school community while also having a social life and maintaining good health and good mental health.
25:21
Right?
25:21
And a lot of people and myself included hit severe burnout in that.
25:26
Right?
25:26
Because you’re always, always trying so hard to prove yourself, but you won’t know if it’s going to be enough until they tell you in your letter.
25:33
Yes or no.
25:33
And actually the first time I applied to medical school two years ago, like it’s been about a year and a half, I got rejected.
25:41
And that was so big and it kept me on that hamster wheel of I have to be more, I have to be more.
25:46
I have to be more.
25:47
And so I got rejected in December 4 months later, I had this existential crisis and that narrative of I’m not good enough, I’m not good enough, I’m not good enough step like step into that essential crisis.
26:00
So I, I walk away from the exam.
26:02
I’m like, I have to take a break.
26:03
And now all what’s going through my head is your a quitter.
26:07
Like you’re just taking the easy path.
26:08
Now, you have to tell you about your exam.
26:11
Like what’s wrong with you?
26:12
You know, it was just the self talk that you would never tell a friend who was going to the same thing I was doing unto myself, right?
26:19
And so it was super, super eye opening because it was a total surrender to something’s not feeling right?
26:28
So you can’t push through it.
26:29
I’m a super intuitive person.
26:31
Like if I’m doing something things slightly outside of my integrity, I feel it so physically like my intuition is so so loud and I’m very grateful for that.
26:39
But sometimes I’m like, girl, like you turn it down two notches like she’s so loud sometimes.
26:45
But it was, it was really leading into that and just going with the winds of the winds of change really as cheesy as that sounds like I just dedicated all of last summer to trying different classes in the city.
26:58
Like I joined life coaching school, but I also went to King’s class and I went to dance classes and I met new people and it was just about allowing my eyes to open enough and enough away from this one dream that I’d like always, always had as the the target for so long.
27:15
And it just took a little bit of being open to seeing what else there was.
27:20
And really something a friend of mine said to me that has carried me through and continues to carry me through this, this new pursuit is he was like, well, what if this is transition?
27:31
It’s not about pursuing something different.
27:34
Maybe you’re just pursuing the same purpose through a different how and it couldn’t be closer to the truth because so much of the work that I’m doing with women now is exactly what I envisioned myself doing once I became a doctor.
27:47
But it’s just in a different way now and with the same impact.
27:50
So, or a different impact really because I love how this is blossomed.
27:54
So how beautiful is that you were able to like, I mean, it sounds like you were very attached to like this is what life is supposed to look like.
28:03
This is what I’m supposed to be looking like.
28:04
This is what I’ve worked so hard for to like transition that and phasing that.
28:09
And I can see that it requires a lot of resilience to do the work through that transition.
28:14
I would love to, to peel back a little bit of a layer of, you know, you talked about how everyone like especially in the medical world is probably a good way to say it.
28:24
But I, so I just want to say it’s like at least here in the United States, it’s, it’s, there’s hustle culture where, you know, the idea of like to be accepted.
28:34
I have to do more.
28:35
And I think this is a fine line because a lot of the women that listen to this podcast and a lot of the women that I talked to do is around them wanting more for themselves.
28:44
And I think there’s a huge difference between being more for someone else versus being more for you.
28:51
And it sounds like you were living and I would love to hear your perspective on this.
28:55
But what was it like living by the standards, expectations, the assumptions of being more for someone else versus now, literally being more for yourself?
29:07
Oh My God.
29:08
What a beautiful question I can like.
29:11
And as you were asking me that I just started getting like light bulbs in my head of how that same mindset towards my medical profession seeped into my relationship.
29:21
Like it’s, and I think that’s a really important thing to note is that you can’t always cherry pick how your mindset in one area, area of your life is distinct from that same mindset towards other places.
29:34
So if you don’t feel enough for the medical school advisors or the people in your corporate job or your partner, you’re not going to feel enough in your friendships or your family, right?
29:45
Like I think it’s very difficult to say one is either one or the other, right?
29:48
I think it’s both, but just a little side note there.
29:51
I think what was such a huge facet of that kind of existential crisis and to surrender was what I said earlier, like leaning into you have what you need right now.
30:02
You know, even if it’s not, even if the outcome doesn’t look like what you thought you’d be doing right now, you have what you need, like, you arrived at this point because of something and no matter what that is, no matter what it looks like.
30:14
One week from now, one month from now, one year from now this is where you’re to be and you have what, what it takes to, to navigate this.
30:20
Right.
30:20
So it’s, I think it’s really, really leaning into that, but also detaching from the things that you can’t control.
30:29
So I could go into like how the competition works in medical school and all that fun stuff, but I, I won’t bore you with it.
30:36
It was just like I knew I had something to offer, but maybe somebody else didn’t the advisor that got my application or it was just a really competitive round of, of applicants who had master’s degrees at that point just had my bachelor’s, right.
30:47
So could go into all the factors that I can’t control.
30:50
But what I can control is is that knowing?
30:52
Right?
30:53
And I think it also comes back to what we spoke, what we spoke about earlier in, is it that you truly want that thing or is this rerouting pointing you towards what you actually desire or what you actually need to fulfill the feeling that you want to, to step into?
31:09
Right?
31:09
Because I can say now with like so much clarity and again, it took going through it and riding that wave that this is so what I’m meant to be doing because I get to really make of this career, what I want with it versus perhaps only fulfilling what an MD would allow me to fulfill it, you know, with a doctor’s degree or something.
31:29
So, it’s so much more than that, of course, but all that to say, to patch it up into something for the listeners.
31:35
Ride the wave because it’s always, always guiding you towards what’s really meant for you.
31:41
Yeah.
31:42
And so in, in riding the wave, I think this is going to be one of my last questions.
31:46
But in riding the wave, how does someone navigate the this regulation of being on the wave and riding the wave or riding the wave?
31:55
And it’s like a really big wave and you’re like, I’ve never ridden a wave like this before or like, you know, learning how to ride the wave.
32:01
Like what are some things that they can find themselves of?
32:03
Like, especially if there’s a listener out there right now listening and saying like, damn, I’m in the middle of this transition myself or I’m in the middle of a season where I feel like I can’t catch my breath or like, I don’t know what that’s gonna look like.
32:14
How can this, this person at least have something to hold on to or faith in some kind of direction when they’re in the middle of that?
32:23
Yeah, that’s a beautiful question because sometimes it’s really hard to feel that regulation when there’s no set end point, right?
32:28
Or it just feels like you’re walking through fog and it doesn’t, you know, cancel, it’s gonna get clear.
32:32
So I would say my first suggestion would be really take a look at the subconscious expectations that you have that are creating some of your discomfort.
32:41
So in my, in my case, it was, you have to be a doctor.
32:45
You’re going to be the first family member to become a doctor.
32:47
Everybody’s relying on you like you have to be that cycle breaker that transcends the corporate ladder or whatever, right?
32:54
What are those expectations that you’re carrying that are causing that discomfort?
32:58
Because often it really comes down to the bread and butter is, is that is like what we’re telling ourselves without becoming conscious of it.
33:06
The second thing I would say is if you’re in a season where you feel like things are just happening to you, look at how they’re happening for you because there’s always something, there’s always something hidden in the circumstances were being presented, right?
33:21
Have you always wanted to quit your job?
33:23
Like, have you, do you hate your boss?
33:25
And now you’re in a place where they’re doing cuts in your job, right?
33:28
It’s scary.
33:29
It’s scary, but sometimes the universe or God or whatever you call your higher power gives you that nudge to say, hey, this is how I’m pushing you to finally take ownership of your dreams and take responsibility for them.
33:43
And the other thing.
33:45
And my last point to this question I would say is leaning into what your soul and your body will guide you towards.
33:53
So this is actually a conversation I was having with a friend earlier because she’s unemployed right now and she’s like, waiting to hear back from some applications and she feels in her words really useless.
34:03
And I was like, it’s not like you’re sitting at home doing nothing like you’re reading, you’re going to the gym, you’re seeing friends, you’re working on passion projects says, yeah, but I just don’t feel like I have a purpose and I go, maybe it’s because our purpose is so tied to our work, our professional work, right?
34:17
Versus there are seasons in life and really all the time, right?
34:21
Where it’s really important to embrace this idea.
34:24
That purpose isn’t something that is only driven by long term pursuit, but it can be a moment to moment thing, right?
34:30
So if you’re sitting at home right now and you either just got laid off or you’re thinking about quitting your job, but you don’t know what that looks like or you want to leave that relationship really like give yourself the space to see what your heart is guided towards because your heart will show you your curiosities if you just allow it.
34:46
So in my case, last summer, I just was like, I am curious about life coaching school and then I looked into it and that curiosity grew.
34:54
Next thing, you know, I had bought my spot in my life coaching school, right.
34:57
For you.
34:58
It might be, I’m really curious about taking up poetry or I really want to go to that webinar about, I don’t know, sexuality or, or saving or investing, right?
35:08
Just throwing ideas out there, right?
35:10
But in, in these seasons where you feel like you’ve been going in that rat race or you aren’t sure how to break those cycles.
35:17
You kind of just have to let your heart show you.
35:19
I don’t know if that sounds cheesy or not, but that’s the best way I know how to describe it.
35:23
I think it sounds perfect, you know, and I really love that.
35:25
You share and let you know your purpose.
35:27
I think we do tie a lot of our purpose to what our job is, what our career is, what our title is, what our role is and what we don’t realize, I think back to the becoming, it’s also in the being of that purpose, right?
35:40
So we can still be the, be the being, be the essence of what the embodiment is of that purpose without having the title, right?
35:49
And it’s coming back like, what is that for ourselves?
35:51
And I think that’s so beautiful for us to remember because as a fully expressed woman, you know, I truly believe it’s, it’s, it’s you expressing every part of yourself and it doesn’t mean you have a defined purpose by like work or title or role that you step into.
36:08
It’s so much in your being, it’s in how you are expressing yourself.
36:11
And so by listening to, hey, I have this calling for the poetry example that you said or like, hey, I want to learn more in investing.
36:19
You’re giving yourself an opportunity to live by purpose by expressing these parts of you that are curious to leaning into these different topics and different things and ways of being.
36:28
So that was so beautifully sad and as a last and final question, because this has been so great.
36:36
How are you living your fully stressed life today?
36:39
So how are you really leaning into and honoring your fullest express version of you?
36:45
Oh What a beautiful question.
36:48
It’s also one that I think changes by the season, right?
36:50
Like because some weeks I might tell you, I’m just letting myself put my pajamas on at 5 p.m. and sit and read and others, like in this season, it’s really embracing the part of me that wants to go, go, go and doing so in a very balanced and healthy way.
37:04
But I think right now to me being fully expressed is like speaking from my power, really, I think I, you mentioned this on my podcast, like this idea of you let yourself be toned down or you toned yourself down for so long.
37:19
But now after traveling the last two months and right now being in a place where I dropped everything to just do my business.
37:27
I, again, I arrived at this place because I, I can, but that can means it might feel a little bit uncomfortable at first to like, say, I believe in what I’m doing and I have the tools to, to help people and to help them step into their fully express selves.
37:42
But you have to, you have to practice it to, to instill it in yourself, you know, so doing it despite fear, I would say, oh, I love that.
37:53
Well, I’m definitely here supporting you and guy and like here to celebrate you guys, like you are going after all the things you want to be going and you go, go, go and like stepping into your power and embracing it even though it might be a little stretchy and expanding, which is so beautiful here right now.
38:09
Stretching and expanding is the perfect way to describe it.
38:13
That’s exactly what it sounds like.
38:15
And I love those seasons of stretching and expanding because it’s like you’re in the duality of like holy shit.
38:21
This is a lot.
38:22
Oh My God.
38:22
This is so exciting.
38:23
It’s like, it’s like the duality of like, oh my God, I’m so scared, but this feels really good at the same time.
38:28
Like I don’t know what I’m doing.
38:29
This is stretchy and expanding.
38:30
I’m leaning and da da, da, da da.
38:31
But it’s like, overall just a really expansive season for.
38:38
So that’s amazing.
38:40
How can someone connect with you, find you listen to your podcast, all the things.
38:46
Yeah.
38:46
So the best way to connect with me is on Instagram.
38:49
It’s at commitment to growth.
38:51
One word cited to my D MS nicely.
38:55
We can chat, just vibe.
38:57
I’m really active on there.
38:58
So always happy to chat with people.
39:01
I also am very active on my website.
39:03
It’s www dot Commitment to growth.com.
39:06
Grab some freebies at over there, learn a little bit more about my, my coaching programs that are available.
39:11
And if you look up the Commitment to Growth podcast, very easy, same name across all pops.
39:16
It’s available on Apple Spotify.
39:18
You can find it in the link in my bio on Instagram.
39:20
So commitment to growth pretty much everywhere if you just look it up.
39:24
So that that’s where you so beautiful.
39:26
I will make sure to put that in the show notes for you guys as well.
39:29
And yeah, thank you so much Mariana for coming onto the podcast.
39:32
It has been so sweet connecting with you over the last 24 hours and just being in your energy and so nice meeting you at the podcast event.
39:40
I think I talk about this on the community all the time or on this podcast all the time, like community, everything like who your relationships are, are are direct reflection of your network, your net worth.
39:52
Like it’s just the quality of people that you have in your life.
39:55
And so thank you for coming into mine and I’m so excited to support you on yours.
40:00
Thank you so much.
40:01
The joy was all mine.
40:02
I cannot wait to share this with people.
40:04
So thank you.
40:05
Thank you.

Full Transcript0:00
Welcome to the fully expressed podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I am your podcast host, Karenna Soto.
0:04
And this is the show where we have different conversations that invite you into your fullest expressed self and life, relationships and business.
0:12
And today is really exciting for me because I have a really special guest on here and that I met, I think last year, we’ve only become friends in last year, but she has become one of my best friends and one of my closest sisters.
0:28
And I’m so excited to share her with you because she is a master astrologist and such a great human and always, and her and I have just connected in not just like through this work, but I feel like we just like vibe and connect in general.
0:46
So I was so excited for you guys to meet her.
0:48
Her name is Samantha Hollingsworth and Samantha is here with us.
0:53
So I’m going to let her introduce herself.
0:55
Thank you.
0:56
That’s the best intro ever.
0:58
Yeah, I feel like we just connected on every soul level.
1:02
I still have to put our charts together and see like our connections.
1:05
I know we have a lot of similarities.
1:07
But yeah, so I am an astrologer and a Goldsmith and a seeker of spirituality and knowledge and just living life to the full really going on an adventure.
1:20
I love that.
1:20
Now, I remember when we, so I met you at Evan’s house, which is another friend that we met.
1:25
And I met Evan at one of my women’s circles, but she was holding her own women’s circle and like her own little community thing that we were at her house.
1:31
And I, I remember like you talking and you start talking about astrology and the way that you lit up, I was like, I really like her.
1:37
I need to become friends with her.
1:38
I need to get to know her more and like the more that I hung out with you, I was like, yeah, she’s going to be a part of my life forever.
1:43
I know.
1:44
I feel exactly the same way.
1:46
It was like, I always laugh because I think we think of soulmates sometimes as partnerships.
1:51
But I have, especially in the last year, met just a couple women.
1:55
You included that when I met you.
1:57
It’s like, oh, where have you been all my life?
1:59
Like hi sister.
2:00
So I, yeah, we have soul sister mates too.
2:05
Yeah, I feel that so deeply and I think that’s for anyone that’s listening to the podcast too.
2:09
It’s like, you know, sometimes you just find your people and you just connect them, but it’s by leaning into the things, right?
2:14
Like, so, like, I found you in this space of like, consciousness and like, people doing the work and around women that are really leaning into their spirituality and like all this stuff.
2:23
And this is like, I was so intrigued and that I really want to embody that.
2:26
And then I met you, you know, and then that’s like the gift of like, leaning into the things that call you because you find people that are like literally soul sisters.
2:34
And I’m sure there’s something in our charts which we’ll talk about eventually that like just says, yeah, you guys were supposed to meet at some point in this timeline.
2:42
Totally.
2:42
Absolutely.
2:43
And it’s interesting too because right before I met you, excuse me, I had a falling out with a group of women and I was just so bummed about it.
2:51
And I remember my husband was like, ok, just ask the universe to call in a new group of, of soul sisters.
2:59
I wanted a deeper connection.
3:00
I didn’t feel 100% seen by this group.
3:03
I was in.
3:04
It was all for the, all for the best.
3:06
But the awesome thing was that right after that is when I met you and another woman and kind of came into this circle of amazing incredible women that were now in.
3:15
And I feel like it was from just asking the universe to bring me like deeper connections and really incredible women that in fired me and the universe has blown me away.
3:26
Yeah, I think I was in the same season too of like really calling and 2023 was the year of like, I really want a deep community.
3:34
I want like, support and I want to be loved and seen and heard in all aspects but also like, inspired and motivated.
3:40
Like it wasn’t just like, yes, I want that and I feel like you and I are both working towards our businesses, our passions, we’re trying to create like this big life for ourselves.
3:49
And that to me also like means so much to me because it’s like, oh, like you get to know my day to day, you know about my relationships, you know what I’m going through and you’re also like, we’re holding the vision for each other and celebrating each other along the way to like bigger and greater.
4:04
And like, that’s really what I was like.
4:06
All right.
4:06
Where are my people at?
4:07
And here we are totally.
4:09
Yeah.
4:09
And I think it’s so important as women to support each other and not, not be in that competition.
4:14
Energy, which just happens sometimes.
4:17
But yeah, same.
4:18
I really want just women who could see all of me and I could express myself and all of me.
4:23
And I think I think everybody wants that to a certain extent, but especially women, I think we need it.
4:28
We need to be seen by our sisters.
4:30
Yeah, I feel like there’s eventually I would love to talk about this on the podcast, but there is something that there’s like another, what do we call it?
4:37
Not species of women, but there’s women out there that are really competing against each other.
4:41
Right?
4:41
Like, I don’t know how to say it.
4:42
Like another group of people, another group of women where you can get into this place of like, well, she has this and I don’t have that she’s better than me or whatever.
4:50
And it’s like, then you’re like, holding all this jealousy against them and like, that kind of energy is so, it’s just so unnecessary and exhausting.
5:01
Like being in the, like, loving, supportive energy with your sister specifically and having sisterhood, I think, and the more I think about this, I think there’s more people out there that have sisterhood wounds.
5:10
Like I did, like, I definitely have like sisterhood wounds and like, being able to let myself be seen by women is just like a whole nother thing that I feel like I’ve been able to, to.
5:20
But a lot of people do have those like deeper wounds from like growing up.
5:24
Like there’s, I mean, I’ve heard stories I’ve never dealt with mean girls in high school but like, if some people deal with mean girls in high school, you know, like being really bullied by mean girls and it’s like, oh, how do I work through that?
5:35
So then I can, like, create the loving relationship that we can do and like, have with other women.
5:40
Yeah, I agree.
5:41
And I think, I think society is partly to blame for that too.
5:44
It pits us against each other.
5:46
And I feel like if you have, like you said, French, like women wounds, mother wounds, any of those things where, you know, women innately are meant to be open hearted and nurturing and all these things.
5:56
And I think that, you know, if you grow up, grow up without that or you just don’t have that in your life, it’s hard sometimes to, to feel comfortable even allowing that in.
6:06
And so I feel like showing, you know, you’re an example of what it looks like to just be so open hearted and nurturing and loving.
6:13
And I think that’s really a gift, you know, and I think more women need to see that and that there, it’s also, I think I talked about this too sometimes when I’m talking, I tied into astrology too, but it’s part of manifestation and all of those things, which is, you know, that lack mindset looking into the world and being shown, there’s not enough, you know, we, we live in a society that kind of pushes scarcity, especially in the Western world.
6:35
And I feel like when we realize there’s enough, you know, like there’s an infinite amount of people that can express their uniqueness.
6:42
And that’s what I love the most about astrology is, you know, you could have the exact same chart as someone else and be a completely different human because you can express that, that essence of the chart in your unique way.
6:53
And I think if more people realize that they, they’d see that everyone’s voice is necessary, it’s all needed.
6:59
You know, we don’t need to compete.
7:00
There’s enough for everybody so true.
7:03
I love that so much.
7:04
And so like, let’s double down into astrology, you know, like, so we’re gonna be talking a lot about astrology today and just like how you can use astrology as a tool.
7:11
But I would love to learn Sam.
7:13
Like, how did you find astrology?
7:15
How did you even get to a place of wanting to become a master astrologist and also tapping into this?
7:20
Like, I would love to hear how you’ve been able to like tap into this channel for astrology because y’all, once you hear her talk about astrology, what’s happening in this world, which we will get there on this podcast like today and this season, like, you’ll hear her speak and you’re like, whoa.
7:36
So I want to know all that about that.
7:38
Yeah.
7:38
So it’s funny because I had a reading like my very first astrology reading that someone did for me, I think she was a shamanic, she called herself a shamanic astrologer and that was in 2018, I believe, or maybe 2019.
7:53
And I just relied to it again and it was so interesting to go back and, I mean, it’s just such a different time in my life.
8:00
I remember getting that reading and being fascinated, but it’s so interesting because it wasn’t, it wasn’t that I, I thought, oh, I’m going to go pursue this now.
8:07
I just thought, oh, that’s really cool.
8:08
Like, what a neat gift to have, you know?
8:11
And then when 2020 happened and the world shut down and my business really, I was a Pilates instructor and I had like a pretty thriving business and a lot of those clients, you know, someone went online and some I left and so I had extra time and I remember being on Instagram and, you know, nothing against any.
8:31
I mean, I love Instagram and there’s amazing people on there.
8:33
But I was just always that person that’s always hesitant to buy a program on Instagram or any of those things.
8:38
I just wasn’t really in the social media world at the time.
8:41
And so this woman came across my feed and I just, I’ve never felt such a strong, yes, you have to take this course.
8:49
And that’s exactly she was offering an astrology basics course.
8:53
And it was wild.
8:55
I’ve never had such a strong pull to just be like, I’m signing up for this.
8:59
So I took the first one and I would just say it was like, I really believe astrology is a language it’s the language of our soul and it just lit up.
9:09
But like all of a sudden it was as if I was up to something I always knew inside of me and I just didn’t realize that’s like the best way I can kind of describe it.
9:16
So it was as if something turned on a light bulb turned on.
9:20
I ended up taking her second level.
9:22
And after that I definitely started to read more books.
9:26
I realized I didn’t want to take too many of other people’s courses just because I do think part of what this gift is is channeling too.
9:33
And I believe everyone can access this.
9:35
I think that, you know, it’s about tapping in and we can all access, you know, the divine in different ways.
9:42
But I definitely, once I knew the basics, I started just reading more about what’s called evolutionary astrology, which is the idea that we come here to learn lessons and we continue to evolve through lifetime.
9:56
And yeah, it’s really interesting.
9:58
And then that just coupled with the readings I was doing with different people, I started just receiving more and more information and it’s just kind of gone from there and yeah, it just continues to evolve.
10:09
Yeah.
10:09
So, I mean, that sounds so beautiful.
10:11
It sounds like you got this hit and like this nudge and it was like, oh light bulb moment.
10:15
This is giving me so much life.
10:17
I need more of this So tell me a little bit more about the evolution of like our souls coming down and being here and evolving.
10:23
What does that mean?
10:24
Yeah.
10:25
So the idea is that there’s, I don’t want to say levels because there’s, it’s really understanding something you realize in astrology and something I really love about it is there is no bad, there’s no good and bad.
10:37
It’s more worth frequency.
10:38
And you know, when we get into like where we are right now in astrology, it’ll make a little more sense, but just without going too far into it, Pluto is a planet that really rules our collective energy and collective consciousness and it’s moving into Aquarius or it’s in Aquarius.
10:53
Pardon me?
10:54
And it’s going to be there for about 17 years.
10:56
And that really is the coming to the understanding that we are energy frequency and vibration.
11:02
And when you understand that you realize, yes, there are lower frequencies and higher frequencies like love and anger and those sort of things, but there’s no bad.
11:12
It’s all lessons.
11:13
And so the idea of evolutionary astrology is that you come here usually with nothing and you, you, you build your physical sense.
11:23
So everything in kind of the physical world, you, you learn to understand money and self worth and our value and some of those basic needs, like you learn how to have your basic needs met and then you work your way up, right?
11:36
And you kind of get to that level where maybe you have everything given to you, you have all the money you could ever want.
11:41
You have all the possessions.
11:42
And then you’re, you realize, oh, I’m maybe I’m not happy or I’m still missing something.
11:46
And so then you go on the spiritual quest and you start to go inwards and you start to ask yourself the eye questions, who am I?
11:53
And why am I here?
11:54
And what is life and what is the purpose of all of this?
11:57
And as you make your way, it all goes back to service, being of service.
12:02
And in the end, you really come to this realization that we are all one consciousness expressing itself in unique forms for this short period of time on earth.
12:12
And you, you know that it’s about really connecting and, and losing that separation, letting go of the I’m this, I’m that and recognizing we’re all one and that the more you give, the more good you feel really.
12:25
And so it’s finding the eye and then sharing that eye with the we essentially, yeah.
12:31
And this can happen in one lifetime, 1000 lifetimes, 10,000 lifetimes.
12:36
It’s really based on the soul’s journey.
12:39
So, you know, it’s, there’s no one path, there’s many paths.
12:44
And I think too, you know, there’s, I’ve read that and I, and other people talk about this, but you know that we also come sometimes and have easy lives because we’ve had really challenging lives, you know, and that’s why I say, like, there’s no reason to compare or feel jealous or judgmental because we’re all, we’ve been all things.
12:59
We’ve been all races, we’ve been all colors, we’ve been everything.
13:02
We’ve been a tree, we’ve been a rock.
13:04
I really believe that we’ve been everything and that’s kind of what evolutionary astrology talks about and speaks into.
13:10
I keep thinking about like the time that we were sitting in the car, like on the way home from the farmers market and like you were giving me and Nick deeper readings and I forget what you said where I came from.
13:20
But for Nick, I think he, he had come, he was like a farmer or something in a different lifetime and to break this down, like for, for him, you were sharing how he had to work through these things.
13:31
Like his, his mission here on earth was to work through these, these I don’t want to call them weaknesses or these gaps or like whatever he’s here to learn.
13:39
But based on what his soul was before, right?
13:41
So his soul here is now on this lifetime to actually work through this break through this.
13:46
Integrate this and, and what’s the last word?
13:49
Yeah, fully integrate these parts of themselves.
13:51
Is that what you’re talking about?
13:52
Yeah, essentially you’re coming here to work through.
13:57
I mean, that’s why we come back essentially in evolutionary strategies because we didn’t fully learn the lessons or we’re missing like we, we or we came for a specific purpose.
14:06
And then, you know, we, we either got there and then we move on to the next lesson or we didn’t and we come back and do it again.
14:12
And you can see that in some of the charts.
14:14
When you have certain planets with the north and south node, you can kind of understand that, OK, you didn’t quite learn this lesson, you came back to master it.
14:21
We’re here to become masters of our energy and masters of our mind.
14:26
And so, you know, that can take a long time.
14:28
Earth is very dense and very challenging and you know, I think Buddha is like a good example, I guess, you know, Jesus Buddha, all these figures in our, in our, you know, religious figures in our society really represent and, you know, not to poke feathers because I know everyone is entitled to have their own belief system.
14:45
But I feel they are all examples of kind of reaching that higher state of consciousness, which is that, you know, there is no separation.
14:52
It’s I kind of describe it as a healthy detachment, meaning you’re not detaching from a place of escapism or numbing.
14:58
But you realize that you work through your thorns when someone pokes you and you get agitated or irritated, it’s because you haven’t healed something in yourself.
15:07
And you realize like everyone’s holding the mirror for each other.
15:10
And when we can let go of that attachment and really sit in our center point, we recognize, you know, we can find that stillness, that heat and that healthy detachment and that’s kind of what it means.
15:21
So we’re all working to that high echelon of, of pure of and detachment.
15:27
But yeah, for most of us, we’re still working through aspects of ourselves and mastering other things and you’re, you’re really never leaving anything behind, you’re finding the balance.
15:38
And this is why also to say really quick, I don’t do a lot of horoscopes and things like that because you aren’t just your son, you’re your whole chart.
15:45
So to just say, oh yeah, this is how you’re going to feel because you’re a, a son or a tourist.
15:50
So it’s not really accurate because there’s a million.
15:52
I mean, if you took 10 Tauruses and put them together for sure, they’ll have some similarities, but they’ll be very different.
15:57
I mean, there’s so many factors that play into a person’s personality.
16:01
Yeah, I feel like that’s something that I had learned.
16:04
Like when I was doing astrology, I think I came across astrology like, like 5, 10 years ago, but it was as simple as like me Googling and saying like, all right, what does Libra have to show today?
16:13
You know, like I would sit with it and I’d be like, that kind of hits that kind of drop it.
16:20
Like I don’t think that’s really present for me and then I’d go down the rabbit hole of oh what is my compatibility with my partner?
16:25
And then it’s like saying, like, how incompatible we are.
16:28
But I’m like, I love my man so much and I’d be like, what the fuck.
16:32
And so I say that with like, now that I’ve dove in, into with you and like learning so much about my astrology chart and like, I look at it, I’m like, oh my gosh, this is covering all aspects of me.
16:44
It’s like my Virgo the fact that like my south node and not like I want to talk about what South node and north nodes are, which you taught me.
16:51
But there’s just so much of my term.
16:53
I’m like, oh my God, I’m yeah.
16:55
Gemini makes sense as myself, which I would love for you to share like, what are some of the important things that someone can pay attention to in their astrology chart chart as well as describe in deeper depth, what is the South Note and what is a North Note and how someone could leverage that?
17:11
Yeah, totally.
17:12
I think it, I was, I just want to say too, I think it’s funny when you told me that you and Nick, oh We’re not, you know, everything says we’re not compatible.
17:18
I was, I was kind of taken aback because you guys have the most beautiful dynamic so obvious you’re meant to be together and I’m like, we need to look at these tricks.
17:27
I don’t believe that.
17:28
And, yeah, when you see the sun, for sure, it makes sense.
17:31
But when you actually,, you know, look at your charts, there’s so many, many things that are compatible.
17:37
So it, you know what I would say, I’ll say just quickly to stay on relationships for just a second.
17:42
If you really want to know your compatibility, I could give a really brief overview.
17:47
I actually look at the sun sign last.
17:49
It really doesn’t matter as much to me.
17:51
I look at the moon first, the moon and emotional self and that also relates to the notes the moon, the moon is that the nodes are ruled by the moon.
17:59
And so that’s why the nodes also play such a huge role in our life because the moon is huge.
18:05
Like the moon, our emotional world is everything.
18:07
So when you have moons either in the same sign or same element, so earth, air fire water, that’s a very strong compatible match emotionally.
18:15
Again, you don’t have to have one.
18:17
It’s not like if you don’t have this, you’re not a match.
18:20
It just means like it’s easy and it flows and it feels good.
18:23
If you have the same Mars, it’s kind of the same for all the planets.
18:26
If you have Mars in the same element or in the same sign, you’re going to have a strong sexual compatibility and you have fetus in the same sign or the same element.
18:34
You’re going to have a strong love, compatibility.
18:37
And then mercury is our communication and the way we process and think so, that’s always a bonus.
18:42
And I’m pretty sure you and Nick have a good, I remember the same, same element I think of your mercury.
18:49
Which so do me and my husband and we have you guys and us, we have great communication.
18:53
It makes it again, it just makes it easier to understand also sometimes like if signs are touching.
18:58
So it’s like a moon in Pisces and a moon in a that a lot of times can be a good match because they like get each other, they’re next to each other in the zodiac.
19:05
So there’s a lot, I mean, it goes way deeper than that, but that’s kind of a basic like I would look at all those things first before I ever looked at like the sun right now.
19:12
The nodes are so powerful.
19:15
The nodes are really the school of life that you came here to master.
19:18
So when you were referring to kind of what I was telling Nick, it has everything to do with his south node and north node.
19:24
And the south note is where we’re coming.
19:26
It deals with past lives.
19:28
It deals with unhealed traumas and karma and it’s also where our greatest gifts lie.
19:33
And then the north node is where we’re headed in this life.
19:36
And the north node really, we also have gifts at the north node.
19:39
And you know, again, if you have other planets with these nodes and you’ve done this before, you, you have an understanding.
19:45
But if you were to look at your chart, say, and you don’t have anything next to it, I always say it’s like going to a foreign country, you don’t speak the language, you don’t have a phone and you don’t have a map and you’re like, I’m gonna find this one place.
19:55
And so it can feel challenging.
19:58
But your whole chart facilitates the learning of this node of the north node and the south node.
20:03
So it’s really like the school you came here to master and everything in your chart facilitates those lessons, our parents facilitate those lessons, our friends, our partners, you know, and whatever node nodes they’re in and is kind of the energy that you’re mastering and letting go of.
20:19
And then of course, the house that it’s in is kind of the last thing.
20:22
But the houses are really the area of life that this is kind of where the mastery will be found.
20:27
So for you as sage north node and Gemini sal node, you are on this sort of spiritual quest in life.
20:35
You are here to dive deeper and, and really learn mastery of a few things versus the desire to just like be into all the things at once.
20:44
Gemini really is an energy that just loves, you know, to learn every little thing of all the things and read 10 pages of a book and move on to another book.
20:52
And, you know, they have a beautiful mind, they’re fast, they’re smart, they’re very eloquent and well spoken and all the things.
21:00
So it’s again, like, as you can see, it’s a gift, it’s not all bad, but it’s also, you know, learning, you know, learning how to calm the mind, learning how to be in the box, learning how to kind of go on the quest.
21:12
Adventure travel sage is the seeker and the pioneer.
21:16
So really freedom, you know, living a life of personal freedom and exploration and foreign travel, all those things are kind of that North and South Note for you.
21:27
Yeah.
21:27
Thank you for sharing that.
21:28
And if you were to dive in deeper, right?
21:30
So we get more specific into which houses these are in.
21:33
And my parents saying that that even takes it a little further.
21:37
Yes, I can’t remember.
21:38
Do you remember what houses are in?
21:39
I think it’s in the 12th house.
21:40
I think Gemini is in the 12th house.
21:43
So then it’s like learning that.
21:45
So the 12th house is the house of Piss.
21:47
It’s the house of the divine.
21:48
The other side is where a psychic gets.
21:51
Yeah, we should look it up.
21:52
I think I might have it on my Yeah, I thought, I mean, not even for just for me.
21:56
But it’s just like, because I’ve heard this from you so many times.
21:58
But like, I think for anyone that’s listening, like being able to look up their south notes or look at their north south node as well as looking at to like where they are and which house they are.
22:09
Yes.
22:09
So yours is in the ninth house?
22:11
Yourself?
22:11
In your north?
22:12
So your yours, so this is interesting.
22:14
So like if you were to look, if you don’t know anything about astrology, it can be challenging because it’s like you look at this, I could even just show like you look at this, this.
22:22
Yeah, like what it’s like what the fuck?
22:24
Yeah, I feel like what it looks like.
22:26
Like how am I gonna understand that?
22:28
Yeah, but there’s so much, I mean, you could Google a lot of this, you know, like luckily astrology is blowing up.
22:33
I love it.
22:33
There’s so much out there that you could find out but the houses really are the areas of life that you’re going to see a lot of these lessons and these energies show up in.
22:43
So for you, it’s interesting because your sound notes in the house of Sage even though it’s in your South notice and I and your North Notes in the house of Gemini, even though it’s sad.
22:51
So you’re like double learning this lesson of sage and Gemini, it’s like real strong for you and the balance of it.
22:58
You know.
22:59
Yeah, exactly.
23:00
Which is beautiful.
23:01
I actually, I don’t know.
23:02
I feel like that’s one of my favorite North and South Notes.
23:05
I don’t want to say it’s easier.
23:06
It’s just not some of the other ones are very challenging.
23:09
Like I just, it’s very challenging.
23:11
My husband and Nick have the same north node, which is Scorpio, North Note.
23:15
And, you know, there’s a lot of loss in that.
23:17
There’s a lot of suffering I would say in a sense which is like, you know, but it makes you, but they’re also incredibly strong and profound healers and leaders and like very powerful people.
23:28
But yeah, when you have so for you, it really is learning the balance between exploration of the world and yourself, exploration of the mind, exploration of information and also being able to not get so hyper focused that you lose that fun joy, optimism that just resides in you naturally.
23:45
So it, you know, yeah, the house is really kind of are the, I would say the houses are kind of the icing on the cake.
23:51
So knowing your north and south node is amazing.
23:54
And then once you look to the houses, like if you were in the 1st and 7th house, then your nodes are really going to play out in your relationship and your need for independence like yourself of who are you?
24:04
If it’s the 2nd and 8th House, it’s going to deal with like our value, the physical world and the internal world, money and other people’s money.
24:12
You know, it’s the house of Tourists and Scorpio.
24:15
I just said third and nine is you, which is, you know, our minds and Ninth House is kind of the world at large and exploration and travel and higher learning.
24:26
The third house is communication.
24:28
It’s also siblings is in there.
24:30
Fourth house is the mother and the home life.
24:33
10th house is the opposite.
24:34
So that’s cancer and 10th house is Capricorn.
24:36
So that’s everything to do with the father energy career.
24:39
So if you have your notes there, it’s going to be the balance of home life and career or like, you know how you view your whole world and then 11th house and fifth house, I’m like, what, what’s the opposite?
24:51
11th House is Aquarius and the fifth house is Leo.
24:54
So that is your ability to shine and be seen for who you are.
24:57
Your heart.
24:58
Leo’s roles like the Fifth House Rules Children and kind of being seen the star of the show and Aquarius and the 11th House is everything to do with other community humanitarianism, really like how you contribute to society.
25:10
So it’s like finding the self and then contributing that in a healthy, positive way.
25:14
And then last but not least is 12 house and sixth house and that is physical health and spiritual health.
25:19
And so the sixth House really is Virgo and that is our day to day routines our, our discipline, our ability to get things done.
25:26
It’s our physical body and then the 12 house is our spiritual body.
25:30
It’s Pisces, it really is our connection to the divine, our understanding of death, our understanding of our minds and our a our, our spiritual psychic abilities and really like it.
25:41
Pisces rules the limp system and blood and that sort of thing.
25:44
So you can see how it kind of covers every area of life, but that at least will give them an idea.
25:50
Now if they, if they kind of go back, they can look at what houses they’re in.
25:53
Yeah, I feel like if you’re listening to this, you gotta go back and like rewind that and take notes.
25:57
Yeah, sorry.
25:58
It’s so much information that’s like the hard part about astrology.
26:01
You can’t just, it’s not like a quick like one word answer.
26:03
But yeah, but at the same time, like I, I feel like you just covered so much and someone can always reach out to you to hire you and like do these res because like this and like human design and all these other ways, like it’s so great when you do have someone like yourself that’s like a master in these things because like it takes off the takes away the sense of confusion or unknowing or like, am I understanding this correctly?
26:24
Am I not understanding this correctly versus like you literally live for you and do this as a part of your job and as part of your creation, like you’re passionate about it, you study it.
26:33
So, like, it’s so much helpful and they’re like, I need to, like, I need to, I want to learn about this for myself.
26:41
They could totally reach out to you for that, you know.
26:43
Yes, absolutely.
26:44
And my mission really is to get as many people to just understand the basics.
26:47
Like, I really, I mean, I will give a reading, of course, I love readings and I love, like just telling people things about themselves.
26:54
It’s so giving readings to people that don’t really know astrology.
26:57
But at the same time, I feel like because it is a language, it is meant to be learned by every, like we’re all supposed to have this knowledge.
27:05
And so even if you just know your north node, you will have such a better understanding of the lessons that are showing up in your life.
27:13
So it’s like if you looked at your North and South Note and just look up those energies of what they are and what the kind of shadow aspects are of them, that’s the lesson you’re learning and it’s going to show up again and again, in every aspect, every form specifically, obviously, if it’s in a certain house and it’s going to probably show up in that area of like, more.
27:29
But yeah, it’s gonna, it’s gonna show up often because that is, it’s like school it’s the real school we’re in, you know, the school and I guess this time, so I didn’t want to cut you off.
27:39
But this has, if you like, really how someone can use astrology to living a life, I express like, truly bringing their below expressed versions of themselves and like noticing where their, their nodes are and correct me if I’m wrong obviously or make this better.
27:54
But like they can look at what their nodes are and be like, oh, these are the lessons I’m here to like learn and, and, and how it’s adding to this journey that I’m on to fully impressing myself in all, in all areas.
28:05
Does that?
28:06
Yeah, absolutely.
28:07
And I feel like, you know, astrology is, it’s not, I’m not psychic, you know, like I can’t, I’m not a fortune teller.
28:14
I am merely reminding your soul what it already knows.
28:19
I am helping you to remember who you really are.
28:22
And I love astrology so much because it is empowering.
28:26
It takes you out of the victim mindset and makes you understand that you chose this.
28:31
I know that’s crazy for some people.
28:33
But when I read people and they’re like, how do you know these things?
28:36
How like you’re in my head, you’re in my energy, you’re in my psyche.
28:40
It’s like, no, I’m reading your map like your life path that you chose and you can choose to express that fully and embody all of the beauty that you are or you can live in the fear and the anxiety and the programming that so many of us, you know, have been born into.
28:59
I mean, we all have to a certain extent, you know, we’re all fighting these programs and these belief systems.
29:04
This is also why, you know, some people are masters of making money like it comes so easy to them and, but you look like I’ve had very wealthy clients in my life.
29:13
But then their love life is a mess.
29:15
They’re single or they’re struggling with their mental health or, you know, we can’t look at someone and think, oh, they have the money.
29:21
We got to look beyond the superficial because they’re so everyone is coming here to learn different things.
29:26
And that’s also where I’d say, yeah, if you can just remember who you are, you have the ability, there’s no limit to what you can bring into your life to what you can fully embody and become.
29:37
And that’s why I believe in it so much because it’s, it is kind of like, you know, even I know and I don’t know a ton about like Chinese astrology or things like that.
29:46
But I know that there are people that say, oh you’re not destined to be wealthy in this life.
29:50
But I do, I personally believe in free will.
29:53
So I think anything is possible.
29:55
That’s why I say like someone with your same chart could be super wealthy and happy and living in a beautiful marriage or whatever it is you think you want for your life, they could be living that already.
30:05
So it’s possible there’s an infinite number of ways to fully express yourself in this life.
30:09
And yeah, astrology is just a reminder of all the incredible, you know, all the incredible that is inside of you.
30:17
I love that.
30:17
You said too that like we’re all, all of our souls are here to learn something like we’re all kind of going through it no matter what flavor of the cake, what what slice of the cake we got, you know, like oh shit, I got to learn how to fuck, fucking know how to work in relationships or shit.
30:32
I learn how to make money or like, oh I really got to work through my insecurities or I’m self doubting myself all the time.
30:37
Like we all got a piece of the cake, you know, but we all have, we all have, I guess we also have access to the whole cake if we want to, right?
30:45
It’s not just because we have this one piece of pie that we all our souls are here to learn.
30:49
It’s like, oh I can also have the whole cake, you know, like this is available to me like I and have the entire cake.
30:55
I’m not only supposed to have this little slice of cake.
30:58
I know it’s such a simple example but it’s perfect seeing that came to mind.
31:02
It’s like each and every single one of us are here to learn.
31:06
Yeah, we all have different lessons but we can integrate them into our whole self.
31:10
So we can live this fully expressed life totally.
31:12
And you’ll, you’re all the signs like even if you don’t.
31:16
So like in astrology, if you have certain planets in certain signs in your chart, then that energy is magnified, right?
31:22
Like you’re a Libra.
31:23
So, so that energy is magnified for you and you embody that Libra energy in a huge way.
31:28
That’s the fuel you burn in this life.
31:29
That’s why you’re so that’s why you’re beautiful.
31:31
I mean, sorry, Libras are usually really beautiful and inside and out.
31:34
But you know, that’s why you’re, you’re, you are a mediator and you’re so eloquent and you’re like, you want to bring peace to the world, you know, it’s so great but it doesn’t mean you don’t necessarily like say you have no planets in Leo or in, I don’t know, I know you have sad.
31:49
So I can’t say that.
31:50
What else?
31:50
Like Scorpio, it doesn’t mean that although you have Pluto and Scorpio, I think, but it doesn’t mean I can’t think of a sign right now that you don’t maybe Taurus.
31:58
I don’t know if you have any Da Taurus.
32:00
Yeah, but you still have that energy in you.
32:02
You know, it’s like we are all the signs just maybe it’s not magnified for you in this lifetime.
32:06
But if you want to access it, absolutely, like it’s there for you and there’s ways to see where it shows up in your, in your chart.
32:12
So again, that’s why horoscopes are.
32:14
So I think we’re going to see society kind of move away from those eventually because they are kind of superficial and we’re just going to a deeper place.
32:21
And I think you mentioned in the cake and analogy is that this is a perfect example of how we all bring.
32:28
So we’re like the sprinkles, like we all bring something different, but it’s all needed and it everyone was the same.
32:34
This would not probably not do so great.
32:36
We need everyone to bring their individuality to create the whole, to bring together.
32:41
And then we are all the cake because we all are, we are all one, we’re all 11 consciousness expressing itself.
32:49
So, you know, this illusion of separation is coming to an end and I think we’re going to see more and more, you know, that we’re, we’re way more alike than we are different.
32:57
Yeah, I think so too.
32:58
I think what’s I think about this all the time?
33:00
I don’t know if I’m like completely going off on the rails here.
33:03
But you know, the one thing that I feel like we have the most common as people is that we’re all going through hard things, right?
33:09
And not, and it baffles me and I know I’ve also gone through this myself, but it’s like the last thing that we share, you know, it’s the last thing that we talk about.
33:18
The first thing we talk about is like, how are you, are you married?
33:21
Are you in this?
33:22
What do you do for a living?
33:23
What do you do for a living?
33:24
What’s your work?
33:25
And I’m like, but what are you going through right now?
33:28
What’s present for you?
33:29
What, what are you, what are your passions?
33:31
And I think we all have that within us.
33:33
And it’s so funny how it’s like the last thing that we talk about, but back to this astrology thing, it’s like we all have these different things that we’re all navigating in our own ways.
33:41
It’s just, you know, it’s so easy to get caught in like, oh, I’m the only one that’s going through this.
33:46
I’m the only one that has these specific lessons that I have to learn.
33:49
Like, oh my gosh, my heart life is so difficult because I, I have to, yeah, learn XYZ lesson and I’m like, no one else is learning my lesson.
33:57
But that’s not true.
33:58
We’re all learning our own lessons.
33:59
But at the end of the day, it’s been like the greater good for our whole self and for the collective totally.
34:05
I mean, that’s why I love our, our group of friends.
34:07
We’ve manifested in the last year because we do have those conversations, you know, like no one’s like, what do you do?
34:12
It’s more like, what are your dreams?
34:14
What are you aspiring for?
34:15
Like, what is your ultimate life look like?
34:17
And I love that.
34:17
And I think, I think that it’s just autopilot again this time is really giving us a chance to deprogram ourselves.
34:25
Saturn’s and Pisces and Saturn and Pisces is letting go of our illusion of time letting go of the pressure to get things done.
34:32
Saturn is really our karm.
34:33
It’s our disciplinary and planet and in and in water.
34:36
I mean, you can’t grip water, you know, so it’s really teaching us to go more inward and to realize like we are so much more than these kind of superficial questions.
34:46
And I think that it’s, I always think when people ask you how are you and everyone just says I’m good, you know, it’s like, are you good?
34:53
Really good?
34:53
Like what’s really going on?
34:55
But it’s like everyone’s go to word like I hear I’m fine.
34:59
I actually, yeah.
35:01
Oh Yeah, me too.
35:02
I feel like there is one of my signature talks actually starts like that.
35:05
It’s like, how often do you just say like I’m good without even thinking about how are you really?
35:09
You know, I feel like it’s such a default for us and then when you ask someone how they are, they’re like, oh, but I’m like, really tired but I’m not going to tell them I’m tired because like, I don’t want to admit that I’m tired, like there’s this whole internal process that’s going around the fact that you just ask someone, how are you?
35:22
Yeah.
35:23
And something I’ve realized in doing so many readings for people and just, like, learning more in the astrological world is like everyone just wants to be seen and I think I can relate so much to that because I’m an Aquarius and that’s if you are an Aquarius, you want to fit in so bad, but just not at the, not at the expense of your uniqueness, like you really just want to be accepted for who you are.
35:45
But I think everybody does.
35:46
I think everyone just wants to be seen and heard and social media has given us that to a certain extent.
35:52
I mean, it swings both ways for sure.
35:54
But I think that it did give it kind of is sort of leveling the playing ground and giving people a chance to fully express all of themselves in a different way.
36:03
Of course, you can curate social media too and make it look, you know, beautiful and amazing.
36:08
But I think more and more people I’m seeing are showing up in a real way and even your podcasts like really encouraging people to express their full selves and embody all of themselves, you know, and I know we had this conversation before, but it was, it’s so easy when you’re a listener or, you know, a wisdom keeper or a, you know, just a point for someone to come to and you’re a space holder.
36:31
And I don’t mean, like, in a negative way but a space holder that you hold the space for everybody, it’s hard to feel permission to like, actually dump on someone else in a way or like even say, hey, I’m actually having a terrible day.
36:43
Can I talk to you about it?
36:44
And I think you can, I know we’ve had that talk like, it’s, it’s hard sometimes to find that safe space in people to say, you know what?
36:50
Actually I’m not doing well.
36:51
And, and recently in tiktok, I’ve had a few videos really go viral and it’s really interesting.
36:57
I, I try to comment back to everybody just because that’s I’m crazy.
37:02
But, but you hear like people are struggling, you know, and they are looking for an, and I always try to say like the, you know, they’re like, will this boyfriend come back or will this happen?
37:12
You know, and it’s, I, I can’t answer that, you know, and I just keep telling people like it’s in yourself, we got to come back home and be willing to, you know, of course, reach out and say I need help, but also look within and, and tap back in and realize like it’s all inside of ourselves and when we feel comfortable enough to express what we’re feeling sometimes that’s really all we need is just to say, actually I’m not having a great day.
37:34
Yeah.
37:34
No, 100%.
37:36
And I feel like that’s part of the work that I had to learn was like, a part of being fully expressed was like, not just expressing the good things like, and yeah, it was also being like, just purely honest, like, yeah, I’m pissed off right now.
37:47
I’m mad right now.
37:49
I’m angry.
37:49
I’m sad.
37:50
Like, I’m frustrated with someone or like just being able to say that out loud and be like, yeah, this, this is real and I can just express it.
37:58
I think that sense of like visibility because I think so many of us are suppressing a lot of those emotions because we’re not fully giving ourselves the opportunity to say yes, this is really going on in my experience and then that experience ends up manifesting into something else because we’re keeping it internally and like all these things.
38:15
But to your point, like as much as I think as a human experience, we also want to learn.
38:18
But I also think that all the parts within us also want to be seen and heard and loved and like full seen and loved and heard and held, you know, it’s like, imagine like that little part of you that like always comes up and is like super frustrated and you’re like stuffing it down because you’re saying like, oh, I’m not allowed to be frustrated right now.
38:35
Then you allow yourself to be frustrated.
38:36
I’m like, well, I can breathe now.
38:38
That feels good.
38:39
Versus we do a really good job of just like buring it under the rug and we’re like, no one’s going to see this and then it comes out in different ways.
38:47
Yeah, totally.
38:47
You know, I love, even in our friendship, like, love when you just text me and you say, hey, I definitely want to hang out but just know my energy is low and tired.
38:55
Is that ok?
38:55
You know that even just gives me permission to say, hey, yeah, I hear you.
39:00
I’m tired too.
39:00
Let’s do it, you know, or oh yeah, maybe a different date.
39:03
You know, that’s such, it sounds so simple but I never had that before and I always felt this and that’s my own my North Note or South Note.
39:12
But this people please are like, oh, I just show up for this person all the time.
39:15
Say yes, he yes to everything.
39:16
And you know, I could segue even into on a grand scale because I didn’t really talk about this yet.
39:21
But we actually have a collective node as well.
39:24
I, I want to hear like the bigger picture too.
39:27
Yeah.
39:27
Yeah.
39:27
So, so interestingly the collective nodes right now, which so we have our individual ones we’re born with and those are in the notes switch every 18 months.
39:36
So for 18 months, anyone born in that time are going to have those nodes And that’s why again, like people in our generation or certain generations together and that year are going to be working together to master that energy.
39:48
And then we have a collective node.
39:50
So right now the collective nodes are in Aries and then the South nodes in Libra.
39:54
So relationship and self access.
39:56
It’s about, you know, our boundaries and our emotional boundaries, our personal, our physical boundaries.
40:03
It is a letting go of any people pleasing tendencies.
40:05
It’s letting go of, you know, our need for our injustice button is getting hit real hard and for many people finding more balance, you know, Libras, the scales, but usually the scales are like this.
40:17
It’s really hard for Lee as you know, you’re a Libra, you’re always trying to find balance.
40:21
You’re like, what is the balance?
40:22
And so and the opposite is like personal sovereignty free will independence, letting go of any co dependency on friendships, family relationships, like really coming into our uniqueness.
40:34
It’s the leadership energy, it’s war energy, it’s really like standing up for truth for what is right?
40:40
And that’s the energy I mean, and you can see that in a way reflected in society for sure right now and we’re in the middle of an eclipse season.
40:47
We mentioned this before he hopped on, but we’re in the mid we have a solar eclipse on the eighth.
40:51
We had, which is also in Aries and we had a lunar just had a lunar eclipse on the 20 fifth, I believe of March and that was in Libra.
40:59
So this energy is really intense, like people in relationships are going through it and either going deeper into just deeper connection and, and healthy boundaries or falling away and realizing like maybe this isn’t a match, maybe this isn’t, you know, for my highest good.
41:15
And I really believe all this energy is realigning us for this new kind of world that we’re creating.
41:21
Yeah.
41:21
So when you say like in this season, so by the time I think this episode will drop like in the next week or two, will we still be in this season or like what’s coming?
41:30
Yeah.
41:31
So April April 8th is the solar eclipse.
41:34
So you may release this after that.
41:36
There’s so much to be said about the solar eclipse.
41:38
I don’t really know what to believe at this point.
41:39
There’s so many theories and beliefs and I will say that eclipse windows, we have eclipses every year.
41:45
Eclipse windows are really periods of endings and beginnings.
41:49
I would say this eclipse is very unique because today mercury is the first mercury retrograded as well and we have mercury retrogrades several times a year.
41:58
So again, I I always tell people, people love to just like blow up mercury retrograde.
42:02
The only things I would say about a traditional mercury retrograde is it’s a chance for our minds to reflect because if we were just going, going, going all the time, like we would go cuckoo.
42:12
And so it’s an opportunity for us to rest our minds and really reflect on what’s happening, whatever sign it’s in that energy of those signs.
42:19
And so we have mercury retrograde and it’s this eclipses.
42:23
So it is a huge beginning.
42:25
I would say we’re, we’re entering a new book of life for most of us.
42:29
And I wouldn’t say that with every eclipse window, even though things that usually happen in eclipse seasons are permanent, like choices we make often kind of stay.
42:37
So if you leave a partnership during this time, usually they don’t come back, not always, but and and clarity can come.
42:44
Now this is interesting because mercury retrograde.
42:46
So we don’t have full clarity.
42:47
So we’re kind of going in blind a little bit to like where the world’s going.
42:51
And what does this mean?
42:52
And I think a lot of us, the a is the question of a is who am I?
42:56
And because we have Pluto and Aquarius, which is more about the collective.
43:00
It’s like, OK, who am I?
43:01
And what actions can I take to create this new world that we’re moving towards this world that we’re envisioning?
43:07
And then I will talk about one more transit that’s happening just before it will probably happen not long after you drop.
43:13
This episode is April 20th Jupiter and Uranus are conjunct in Taurus.
43:19
If you have your sun in Taurus, this is like such an amazing transit for you.
43:24
Jupiter on the sun is one of the best transits of all the transits.
43:28
It is.
43:28
Jupiter is a planet of luck and abundance.
43:30
It magnifies things when it’s on your sun, it really illuminates.
43:34
It’s like a time of really positivity and luck and abundance and opportunity.
43:39
But it’s, this is true for all of us, whether you have placements in tourist or not, it’s a huge chance to manifest a completely new reality for yourself.
43:47
Uranus is like lightning.
43:48
It’s like the planet that comes in and just really magnify or sorry, excuse me, Jupiter is the planet that magnifies Uranus.
43:54
The planet that shakes things up, it comes in, it shakes things up.
43:56
It really like it’s like bursts of energy, bursts of lightning, flashes of insight.
44:01
It’s like a higher octave mercury.
44:03
So if you imagine this expansive huge planet and this shaking wild planet coming into the earth sign of Taurus, which is money, the financial system, it’s our, our self worth our value.
44:15
It’s the physical world is agriculture and weather externally.
44:18
Some crazy stuff could definitely happen on either side of this conjunction, meaning like there could be earthquakes, there could be weird weather, there could be food stuff going on.
44:27
But on an on an internal level, it is a huge opportunity to like enter a whole new trajectory of life.
44:33
So I don’t really, my biggest thing right now is telling people like stop looking externally for what you want to create because the world is kind of showing fear and lack right now.
44:42
It’s not really showing love and abundance and all the things.
44:45
But you can create that in yourself and your world can be, you know, it’s like I kind of think of COVID, right?
44:51
For some people, COVID was like this deep sigh, this huge relief.
44:55
Some people thrived in COVID and other people did not do so well.
44:59
They felt isolated and they felt alone, right?
45:01
So one could argue like it depended on what your mindset was and your level of fear, your level of like what you were going through at the time, the place you were in, in your life, in your mind.
45:11
And that’s kind of where we are right now.
45:13
So, you know, not it’s really getting out of the victim mindset and recognizing that you can create and empower a whole new world for yourself.
45:21
But you have to believe it’s possible.
45:23
And this conjunction is really bringing like really quick changes, huge shifts in consciousness and opportunity to like really manifest physical abundance and like really anything you want.
45:34
It’s a pretty powerful conjunction.
45:37
When is this happening?
45:38
April 20th, April 20th.
45:40
Yeah, we’ll be in Costa Rica.
45:42
I know and we’ll feel the energy, you know, you’ll feel the energy for months after, right?
45:47
Because these outer planets move really slow.
45:49
So yes, it happens on the day, but you’ll see energies shifting before and after and same with eclipse windows, eclipse windows happen for two weeks, but then the energy leaves or stays for six months, like you’ll feel it for six months.
46:02
So it’s like everything’s shifting to move us into this new world, this new society, this new way of being.
46:08
And that’s why you can’t really look externally because it doesn’t look so good out in the world if you really start looking at things.
46:13
But internally, my biggest thing is like, if we really want to change the world, we have to change ourselves.
46:19
There is you can volunteer a million places, you can do a million things.
46:23
But if you have not healed yourself, you’re doing a disservice because again, we’re, we’re frequency, we’re energy.
46:29
It’s more important that, you know, you’re in J and love as often as you can be because that’s so much more powerful than, you know, any of these like idols or gurus or leaders.
46:41
Like if they’re not embodying what they’re saying that it’s really not doing as much as we think it is.
46:46
And I always tell people like you can change the world just by being a happy, positive person, just by engaging with other people.
46:52
You can make a bigger impact than maybe someone who is speaking on stages.
46:56
I mean, and you can do both.
46:58
But if you’re showing up on a stage and you’re embodying that energy.
47:01
My God, it’s like when you go in front of someone who really is embodied in their light and in their love and their speaking.
47:07
I mean, you’re one of those people for sure.
47:09
I can’t wait for you to be on stage.
47:11
You, you just, people are flocking to you and you will ship that whole room.
47:14
I mean, you feel it like the whole energy of a room shifts when someone is truly in their heart.
47:19
Yeah, I think that is where we’re headed.
47:21
And so all of these things that are happening for us are trying to push us all inward versus like, but you know, we came from Capricorn energy which is like pyramid structure, working your whole life for retirement, you know, creating these businesses all on your own.
47:35
It’s really the work work, work do, do, do energy and now that, you know, we’re tired, we don’t want that anymore.
47:40
We’re all virgin.
47:41
I resonate with that so much.
47:43
A lot of my talks are like that and you, I talked about this.
47:45
Maybe I said I was like, I’m not, I’m tired of doing entrepreneurship alone.
47:48
You know what I mean?
47:49
Like I was like, I want to do things with partners.
47:52
I want to do things together.
47:53
I want to do things collectively.
47:55
But I think I had to like to your point like work through these external things that were coming up for me or these internal things that were coming up for me that were keeping me from playing in that world in that way and showing up in that way.
48:07
And yeah, I think there’s so much, there’s a difference.
48:10
You can feel a difference when someone is truly like, I’m present, I’m here.
48:15
I love you.
48:16
I support you.
48:16
I have zero jealousy.
48:18
I ain’t triggered about your success.
48:20
I’m just so excited for you versus like there are people out there that are pretending to be like so happy for you.
48:27
Yeah, you’re so not to say that the higher voice is an example of that.
48:35
But like, you know, like when someone’s really grounded and embodied to your point, like there’s such a welcoming, heartwarming love then like I’m just saying this because I have to say it, you know, like I totally feel the difference and what a beautiful example.
48:51
So to quickly like just summarize what you said if I capture it correctly, like coming up April 20th is such an opportunity for us to manifest and really actually start almost like a new book, not necessarily just write a new chapter, but like write a completely new book through what our life can be like.
49:06
And the key thing is to dive internally, be with ourselves, internally, work through any of the things that we’re holding on to or the things that are triggering us or how to embody more love.
49:17
So we can like fully receive that new book that we’re going to get in a little bit.
49:23
Yeah.
49:23
Yeah.
49:23
And I think absolutely, that’s it.
49:25
That’s it.
49:26
And the reason I like to include manifestation with astrology when I talk about it is because again, like, because we are attracting, like, you know, more and more people joda spends is a great example, Esther Hicks.
49:39
All these people have been saying this for a long time, which is, you know, we attract what we are, we attract.
49:45
And yet here we’re not what people I think get confused.
49:48
This is like, we’re not, it’s not the thing you’re actually seeking.
49:51
It’s the feeling.
49:52
So you, yeah, you might want a new car, but it’s the feeling you get when you have the new car.
49:57
It’s not actually the new car.
49:59
And I think when we go inward sometimes also we can remedy the idea that like, maybe it’s not really about the stuff.
50:04
It’s like, oh, I’m seeking adventure and freedom and full expression of self.
50:09
And the more you can go inward and identify with that, the more you can then take action to receive those things and believe that you can receive those things.
50:17
And that is this new book we’re writing.
50:19
And I really, I’m just like, I’m, you know, you know, I’m very optimist, I’m a very optimistic person.
50:25
So I’m never going to be focused on the doom and gloom.
50:27
I’m always going to be hopeful and optimistic and believe that we can change because I know we can, you know, and I think that.
50:34
Absolutely.
50:35
You can write a new book if you are willing to just, we have to face ourselves.
50:39
You know, we have to be willing, as you said, to fully express all of us and doing that.
50:45
Then there’s nothing left to fear, you know, and you’re not here to be liked by every person.
50:51
If you’re, if you are liked by everyone, then you’re not fully expressing yourself.
50:54
You know, like can we say that louder?
50:57
It is so true.
50:58
Then you are not your most authentic self because you’re just, yeah, you’re not attracting, you’re attracting like a chameleon version of you, right?
51:05
Totally.
51:06
It’s like multiple versions of you.
51:08
Not the you.
51:09
Yeah.
51:10
And we’ve talked about this like you’re here to trigger people like you’re gonna trigger people and when you’re in your heart, you’re absolutely going to trigger people because that is, I think the ultimate fear people have is opening the heart.
51:21
I think that is root of the pain and suffering that so much of us experience.
51:25
You know, it’s what some of us lacked from our parents.
51:28
It’s like an open heart means you’re vulnerable to be hurt.
51:31
It means you’re vulnerable to be abandoned or disappointed or let down.
51:37
But it’s like if you can heal those things and realize like it’s all within you, then you, there is no one to hurt you.
51:43
You know, like you’re not actually alone, you’re never alone.
51:46
You can’t be alone.
51:47
Like we are all connected, you know, and source God divine whatever you want to call it in every single one of us.
51:54
You know.
51:54
And I feel like when we can come back to that truth, there’s there, you can be all of yourself.
52:00
You don’t have to have those fears or you can have them and you don’t have to, like, let them stop you.
52:07
Yeah.
52:07
And I think that’s like, the biggest thing is like, there is no person out here in the world that has no fears.
52:12
You know, none of us are God, none of us are good.
52:15
But like yesterday, I was talking to a friend and we were just talking about how like, you know, truly like the way that I look at God or the universe or source.
52:22
It’s like this infinite love, like unconditional love that I’m constantly striving for and like want to embody and like, want to be present in.
52:30
But it’s one of the most scariest things because you’re constantly keeping your heart wide open, right?
52:34
You’re constantly leaving with like, all right, I’m going to be all of me.
52:38
I’m going to bring myself forward.
52:40
You’re going to see these messy parts of me, the parts of me that are really great, the parts of me that I admire and everything within me and everything that I come with and my quirkiness, my weirdness, my sweetness, whatever that is for me.
52:50
And it’s like, let me it all on the line heart open, you take me in and it’s like the number one thing that I think we all want as human beings, right?
52:58
That deep human connection and deep, fully love and scene.
53:01
But it’s clearly one of the scariest things.
53:03
So it’s not saying that you don’t have these fears, you don’t have these insecurities.
53:06
It’s just the practice of constantly getting comfortable with opening your heart as much as you can.
53:12
Yeah.
53:12
And living in that uncomfortable.
53:15
Yeah.
53:15
Like, basically so comfortable in the uncomfortable that you’re like, I’m good, I’m safe.
53:22
I’m ok.
53:22
I’ve got me like, I still choose love.
53:24
I still choose me and stepping through that.
53:27
Absolutely.
53:28
Wilson.
53:30
That was so, so good.
53:31
So I would love to hear,, what, how are you stepping into your fullest express self right now?
53:38
Well, I think definitely the more I’ve gotten comfortable sharing astrology.
53:42
I mean, I’m, I’m lucky because I do feel like a lot more people are opening to all of this.
53:47
Whereas before, I mean, I used to talk about not astrology but other, you know, spirituality and certain things.
53:53
And I was always like the weird one at the party that would look in the sky and be like, whoa, isn’t it wild?
53:57
We’re made of those stars.
53:58
And like, I don’t know, I just say the weirdest stuff, not weird now because everyone gets it.
54:02
But like at the time this is like 2000 eight people in high school or whatever, 2005 people are just like, are you OK.
54:09
What are you, are you high right now?
54:10
I’m like, no, no.
54:12
But this is why, what I’m thinking, you know, the I just ridiculous thoughts all the time like wow, we’re just all water.
54:17
It’s so crazy.
54:18
Everything’s water anyways, I could digress.
54:20
But I think just embracing that part of me, you know, and my, this is a powerful year, you know, for me because the nodes are in my nodes.
54:28
So for me, it is really like finding independence and coming into my truth and knowing like I’m not going to say things perfectly, but I know my voice is meant to be heard and so embracing that and being OK, you know, saying the uncomfortable truth sometimes or just even standing in my truth and you know, knowing like, OK, I am, I also know my human design.
54:49
I’m a 51.
54:50
So like I’m here to ruffle feathers, I’m here to say things that make people uncomfortable.
54:53
Like I’m here to poke people and as you can relate because you’re a Libra, it’s so hard for so long.
54:58
I I really held myself back because I was more concerned with how people, not even how they perceived me, but how they felt like I didn’t want to make other people uncomfortable in any situation.
55:09
I know you can relate to that.
55:11
I’m like, yes, yes, yes, I could feel it.
55:14
Yeah.
55:15
So, so for me, yeah, and you’re feeling this too because the nodes are hitting your son.
55:19
So, but yeah, it’s just really like understanding that it’s OK like it’s OK.
55:23
You know, not being liked, that was a really big lesson in my life.
55:26
It’s like I’m not going to be liked by everyone and not everyone’s going to resonate with my message.
55:30
And that’s also OK, like we’re all, that is the cool thing about evolutionary astrology.
55:34
We’re all in a different frequency, we’re all in a different path.
55:36
And as we raise our frequency, people fall away, you know, that could be family or friends.
55:41
But you attract even more incredible people and the right people and people that see you.
55:46
And I feel like the more I have come into who I am, the more I can’t even express like the incredible humans that I have attracted in my life, like friendships.
55:54
I dreamed of having you very much being one of them where I can just be myself and say these weird things and you don’t think they’re weird, you know, or maybe you do but you let me see them.
56:03
So that’s beautiful.
56:04
Yeah.
56:04
So I think just stepping into that leadership role and embracing it and being really fully expressing all of me so beautiful and, you know, II I smile, I’m mostly tearing up a little bit because I’m like, no wonder we’re friends.
56:17
I know because I, you know, I think that’s the one thing that people don’t talk about.
56:21
Like when you are stepping into this leadership role and talking about things that feel like taboo in a way, you know, things that feel like, oh, not everyone is talking about this and maybe there is and I think now there is the spots on the internet and that are like, oh, here are my people.
56:35
They’re all talking about this thing that I’m talking about, but it could still feel so edgy.
56:39
It could still feel like, oh I’m going to piss some people off.
56:43
I’m going to trigger some people.
56:44
People might not like me and it’s like such a hard pill to swallow.
56:47
And you know, I just want to say like for you, Sam, like you, I tell you this all the time when you start speaking, it’s like I am like so tuned in and like, I feel like you are such a channel, but you also have such a beautiful energy in the sunset.
57:01
It’s so inviting.
57:02
And I think because of your positive outlook and your optimism and your encouragement, it invites people into being like, ok, I trust myself because Sam believes in me.
57:11
You know what I mean?
57:12
Like that kind of energy.
57:14
No, I need it.
57:15
And so I tell you that because I think we need more of that and just like you and just like I am like working through these internal things that we’re navigating and like that we’re scared of or these fears and these lessons that we’re learning, there is such a gift on the other side of that, that like you already shine, right?
57:32
Like you are already, your essence is already doing so many amazing things no matter what, even though you’re having an internal experience, that’s what I want to highlight.
57:41
It’s like we’re out of these internal experiences, but people still receive us in a certain way.
57:45
And I used to be like I went through this second guessing part of myself.
57:49
I’m like, wait, do you, do you really receive me that way?
57:52
Like that’s how I want to be received.
57:53
But like, yeah, you really experienced me in that way.
57:55
Like are you just saying that to say that or like, do you really because I didn’t believe internally that someone could receive me or experience me in that way?
58:04
And so I just want to remind you like that’s how I experience you every single day that we hang, every time that we get to hang out.
58:09
I’m like, oh my gosh, I get to hang out with Sam.
58:11
It’s so fun.
58:12
We get to be met in every single way and I’m going to walk away feeling like I can conquer the world because I’m just who you are.
58:17
Yeah.
58:18
Thank you.
58:19
That’s so beautiful.
58:20
I mean, I got exactly the same way about you.
58:22
So and you, you know, we are very similar.
58:25
I know I know, I tried enough to know we have a lot of similar aspects and it is true.
58:29
And I think, I think too, I was going to say, you know, I almost like, see it like when you look in a mirror, you know, there’s like that whole, have you ever seen that true mirror video that’s going around where this guy created a true mirror.
58:38
So you can actually see what everyone else sees.
58:41
And it made me think about the fact that every day we look in the mirror, we’re not actually seeing ourselves, we’re seeing an inverted version of ourselves.
58:47
And I think that’s how we view ourselves a lot of times in the world.
58:51
And when you, you know, it’s so hard to see yourself like you said, how other people see you.
58:56
But I do feel that the more you embody who you are, the more you’re like, oh yeah, I can be that thing, right?
59:01
I can actually open up myself and allow like you’re a mirror for me to see myself at times, you know, and vice versa.
59:09
And I think that’s really beautiful and I feel like when you can open your heart, you know, as scary as it is, you’re able to, to be more and more and see more and more of yourself and be like, oh, that is possible, you know.
59:21
And one other thing I’ll say that I’ve been thinking a lot about and I think you have too is also like, what does it feel like to step into that life that you really want?
59:28
And that’s what this just conjunction is kind of providing.
59:31
That’s why I really say like, dream big because we ourselves small.
59:37
A lot of the time, like, we don’t believe we’re capable of certain things or it’s very hard to visualize ourselves in these like, you know, I think like you were talking about, I see myself on stage, I see you on stage, my God, you know, and talking in front of these people and even though you can speak into it, I guarantee like there’s moments where you’re like, oh, that’s scary.
59:55
You know, it’s like, oh 100% like I want to be on, I want to be on these really big stages but there’s a lot that comes with being on big stages, you know, it’s like, even though I feel called to do it.
1:00:04
So there’s definitely the duality of both.
1:00:06
It’s like, yeah, I want that and there’s stuff that comes with it, you know, and I think there’s power in spending time and sitting in that discomfort and like visualizing and, and, and I think I’ve just been thinking about that a lot too.
1:00:17
Like, what does that feel like to be a leader or to be on a stage or to whatever it is that your dream is, you know, to be in that because I think a lot of times too like we immediately like a little fear turns on and like you said, we go and we just like later, like, let me put that in the future.
1:00:32
But it’s time, it’s time we need more people to step into their power and step into their potential and, and stand in their truth, you know, and I think that is the lesson right now is like your voice deserves to be heard.
1:00:44
It needs to be heard.
1:00:45
Like our generation is one of the first that are really actually doing the work to heal ourselves.
1:00:51
And, you know, I have this discussion all the time with my parents, like, bless their hearts, they’re trying, but like they just don’t have the self awareness in the same way that we do.
1:00:59
Like we have a gift and a responsibility.
1:01:02
And I feel like especially yours and my generation, you know, we, we are the last ones to really grow up without phones when we were young.
1:01:09
And so I feel like we do connect the old world and the new world.
1:01:12
So I think we have the ultimate responsibility to, you know, guide and navigate the the new generations on how to be fully expressive and not, you know, get lost in the technology and, and yeah, like just be the role models.
1:01:27
Like we are the new leaders of the earth.
1:01:28
I really believe that, you know, and so anyone that’s listening to this, like if you feel that call in your heart.
1:01:33
You step, it’s time to step up.
1:01:35
It really is.
1:01:36
This is the time there’s no future.
1:01:37
There’s only now.
1:01:39
Yeah.
1:01:39
I also think that we can show up.
1:01:41
Like, so I think sometimes when you hear this, you’re like, oh, I have to have this, like, big purpose, you know, or like, and it’s not true, like, in my opinion, I’m like, you are a leader in your family.
1:01:50
You are the leader of your current family.
1:01:53
You could be breaking generations of your mom’s passing down.
1:01:56
You could be the leader in your friendship that is doing differently.
1:01:59
You could be the leader at work like in your day to day just on your team.
1:02:03
Like there’s so much that we’re getting called into.
1:02:06
And I think that that leadership role, not only just embodies like the executives, it doesn’t, it’s not for the CEO S, it’s not for the president of the world, for someone that is just an entrepreneur.
1:02:17
I mean, this is someone for anyone.
1:02:19
Like I really think that we are the CEO S and the leaders of our own life, like our day to day life, whatever we define that for ourselves.
1:02:27
And this is the opportunity for us to lead in whatever that way looks like for you.
1:02:32
That’s so powerful.
1:02:33
That’s exactly the Aries energy beautifully said.
1:02:36
Yeah.
1:02:38
And that’s also where I, where I was like referring to before when I said, you know, when you understand where energy and frequency, you could make a bigger impact.
1:02:45
Most likely you’re making a bigger impact than like many of these presidents because they’re so egocentric.
1:02:50
I mean, to be a president of any country, like, you have to have a pretty big ego, like that’s just a given.
1:02:54
So it’s like, and you’re under a lot of stress.
1:02:56
So like if you think of someone who is just like, embodied in their heart grounded in who they are being creative, living their life in joy, you’re gonna impact at the end of your life, you will have impacted far more many people.
1:03:09
I could guarantee it just by living in the world in that energy and anyone that is like leading a country or doing any of these other things, I feel like you touch one person who then like, I, I always think about when someone’s like, oh, I love your outfit or your smile is so beautiful or gosh, your eyes are so stunning, you instantly uplift someone and then they could go on to do the same and then they could go on to do the same and so forth and so on.
1:03:31
And it’s like, that’s a bigger impact.
1:03:32
Then we just think more because again, we’re coming from this Capricorn instru of like, well, I’m a CEO, what’s my job?
1:03:39
This is what I’m doing.
1:03:40
And we’re moving more into like, recognizing that the real impact is the internal world that is like the little things, right?
1:03:46
Like when you ask people at the end of their life, like, what are you, what are your regrets or what do you cherish?
1:03:51
They’re always like the memories with family, the friendships, the experiences.
1:03:56
They’re never like I was the director of this company.
1:03:59
Like, no, that, you know, and that’s ok too to want those things like beautiful if you want that.
1:04:05
But understand that, like when you’re showing up in your heart and in your truth, that’s so much more powerful and more impactful in the world.
1:04:12
Like as I said, when you get up on stage, you’re so embodied as a human.
1:04:16
Like you’re going to shift thousands of people’s lives.
1:04:18
Like just this podcast is changing lives, you know.
1:04:20
So it doesn’t have to be a big purpose.
1:04:22
It could be like being a mom and just like raising happy Children and you’re like, that’s the best.
1:04:29
I mean, if anything I’d argue, that’s like one of the biggest shifts you could make in humanity is like being a present, loving mother.
1:04:35
Yeah, totally.
1:04:36
And doing it differently than what our parents did, our generations to come.
1:04:39
And I think that’s already happening where a lot of, oh yeah, for sure.
1:04:42
Just generations are looking at past generations are like, thank you mom and dad for everything that you gave me with the resources that you did have.
1:04:49
Now I’m going to take that and do even better, you know, like my dad told me once my still keep is still my day.
1:04:55
He’s like, he’s like, I’m to give you, take all the good for me and don’t take the bad but take all the good for me and make it better.
1:05:01
And I’m like, I feel like that’s such a big part of me that I’m like, ok, my parents have given me so much of what they could with what they had.
1:05:08
Do I still have loans from working from being in a relationship with them, from them being my parents.
1:05:13
Of course, I mean, I have my own experience and the psychology just works that way.
1:05:18
It doesn’t mean that I’m not going to take what they’ve taught me all the things I love about them and then all the things that I want to quote unquote, improve or make better or make shifts to because I want to be able to give that to my kids.
1:05:28
And I think that in itself is a simple leadership role, but to what we’re talking about, like that is what we’re talking about here.
1:05:35
Like be the leader of your life, be the CEO of your life, make the chances, make the changes, do something different because it’s for you in whatever way that looks like.
1:05:46
Yeah.
1:05:46
And I think if you’re confused about any of that, like, ask yourself why, like, why am I holding myself back or, and that’s what this time is kind of showing us like, why am I holding myself back?
1:05:55
Why am I not speaking my truth or what?
1:05:57
Why do I want to do what I say?
1:05:59
I want to do.
1:05:59
Why do I do?
1:06:00
Don’t do what I say I want to do.
1:06:02
You know all those kind of questions and you can have your why?
1:06:05
Then there’s, and it could be like, why do you want to be a mom or why do you want to be this, whatever it is in your heart, we’re all here to fulfill a unique individual purpose.
1:06:13
That’s what astrology teaches you and, and you can get out of that victim mindset and really understand like you can change your life right now in this moment by doing exactly what you said, which is what the nodes are teaching us, which is being the leader, taking responsibility and being the leader of your life and forgiving yourself because you didn’t know.
1:06:30
But now you do and you can do better once you know, right?
1:06:34
Like you do better when you know better.
1:06:36
Yeah, 100%.
1:06:37
Well, this has been so helpful and I feel like everyone’s gonna take away so much from this episode.
1:06:44
So I would love for you to share how can someone reach you?
1:06:48
What are you up to these days?
1:06:50
And yeah, if they want to do a reading or maybe do like a course in the future, things like that, what would you like to tell them?
1:06:57
Yeah.
1:06:57
So I have a website, it’s called the Divine rising.com.
1:07:01
And all my socials are on there too.
1:07:03
On Instagram, I my social is just Divine rising and then on tiktok it’s the divine rising.
1:07:10
And yeah, you can just follow me there if you want to know what’s going on in the world.
1:07:14
I don’t, like I said, I don’t do horoscopes really.
1:07:17
I focus more on like what’s happening for the collective.
1:07:20
I do offer readings.
1:07:21
They’re linked in my website and I do do sinister readings too which are so I love doing syn readings with couples and stuff.
1:07:27
So and then I am coming out with a North node course in the next week.
1:07:33
Yeah, fingers crossed.
1:07:34
It will be done in the next two weeks.
1:07:35
So I’m really excited about that because like I said, if you, if you know nothing but your north node you have, you’re way ahead of the rest.
1:07:41
So that will come out.
1:07:42
But you can sign up to be notified on my website.
1:07:45
Amazing.
1:07:46
Yeah, you guys need to definitely get that North Node thing.
1:07:48
I mean, learning my north node really changed everything, being in Sam’s energy, I changed everything and like her Instagrams are like her socials are just so great on a daily.
1:07:58
So you can like really catch up on like what’s happening to collective as a whole and it does give you a sense of peace and shows you like, oh, this is this is what’s going on.
1:08:05
Like sometimes I’m like, duh makes sense.
1:08:08
So, yeah, thank you so, so much for coming on the podcast.
1:08:12
It means the world to me that I get to like jam, like, I feel like you and I get to jam like this any time we get to hang out, which is such a blessing and such a gift.
1:08:20
And I’m so grateful for it and I’m so glad that the fully expressed community gets to listen to it today and like, we could talk for hours like we get, I know I’m like, can we do like a cat three?
1:08:30
Like, I feel like there could be so many more episodes because I sometimes I wish like, you know, because I, I feel so blessed like, I mean, I feel like I want this for everyone, but I feel like we have such great friends in our lives.
1:08:43
I’m like, damn, if only people could just like, listen to this conversation, like they would get so much value of it.
1:08:47
So that’s one of the reasons why this podcast is here because I’m like, I know I have a lot to share, but there’s so long people that I’m surrounded by that so much to share.
1:08:56
So, thank you so much for sharing your gifts with us today.
1:08:59
Thank you for having me.
1:09:00
I know you’ve had incredible people on.
1:09:01
I loved that episode so far that you’ve, yeah, they’re awesome.
1:09:05
Thank you and Nick might be my favorite though.
1:09:09
Nick.
1:09:09
Did you listen to it?
1:09:10
Yeah, you and Nick?
1:09:11
I love it.
1:09:12
That’s so good.
1:09:13
Yeah, we need to have him more on the podcasts.
1:09:15
Like I just want to feature all my people because everyone is just so great.
1:09:19
So, yeah.
1:09:19
Well, thank you so, so much.

Full Transcript0:00
Welcome to the fully expressed podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I am your podcast host Karenna Soto.
0:05
And this is the show where we invite you into your fullest expressed self in relationships, business and life.
0:14
I truly believe that every single person, every single human being that is listening, this podcast who is living in this world are meant to live fully expressed.
0:24
Just imagine bringing all of you to your business, to your life, to your relationships where you feel so fully held and supportive to be your most authentic self.
0:37
So thank you so much for being here today.
0:39
Today’s a special episode.
0:41
Shout out to Ashton from Instagram.
0:44
She asked me to record a very special episode on, on how to do all the things.
0:50
So I had posted on Instagram that I was traveling to DC for a speaking opportunity.
0:56
And at the same time, I have to network follow up with people execute contracts, negotiate deals.
1:03
I’m also in my corporate job and doing my 9 to 5 which requires me to follow up on sales, do demos, negotiate deals, carry people across my pipeline as well as continue to manage my business and work through the challenges in the businesses.
1:19
So she responded to my story and said, I would love an episode on how you do all the things.
1:24
So this is for you girl and for anyone else that is listening because I really do think that this could be supportive.
1:31
If you are a high achieving woman, maybe you have your corporate job, maybe you do have your businesses, you have multiple businesses or even if you’re a mom, you know, what does that look like to have a corporate job?
1:45
Have your businesses and you’re multidimensional, you have multiple interests and then you want to put effort into all these areas of your life because they’re very important to you.
1:55
But how do you do it?
1:57
How do you do it all?
1:58
So maybe recently you’ve been asking yourself like, how I feel so overwhelmed, how do I keep doing this?
2:05
Maybe there’s a part of you that feels like there’s not enough time in the day.
2:09
You don’t have enough energy to execute on everything and it’s maybe an internal battle that you deal with often and maybe there’s parts of you that feel like you’re dropping the ball in some ways or maybe the part of you that’s like not feeling like you’re executing enough.
2:27
Or maybe there’s the perfection part of you that’s like I had to do everything in this amount of time and it’s causing a lot of internal stress, emotionally, physically, spiritually and even, and So, if that’s true today, I’m going to give you some tangible takeaways and things that you can implement into your day that you can do all the things and have time for yourself.
2:49
I think that has been the most important thing.
2:51
It’s one thing to be very productive.
2:54
It’s one thing to always be busy.
2:55
It’s one thing to be very successful.
2:57
But what does it actually look like to feel successful and fulfilled, successful and purposeful and energized, you know, really truly connected to your happy and your joy and your capacity and all these things while also feeling so fulfilled and happy within yourself.
3:17
And that I’m going to show you how I do that today.
3:20
First, I want to share with you that it wasn’t always like this for me.
3:23
When I first started my business, my online business coaching women in 2019, I was in my corporate job.
3:30
I was in the middle of huge expansions.
3:33
I was also just figuring who the fuck I was because I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be and what it actually meant to be my most authentic self.
3:41
All I knew is that I felt called to coach women and to support women.
3:44
So I got certified fell in love and low key obsessed with personal development and growth and just being able to witness people go from where they are to where they want to go and witnessing that whole entire journey has been one of the beautiful gifts that I got from my online business and coaching women specifically.
4:01
And I’ve coached the men as well and in working with all of them.
4:05
I also during that season, hit a weekly pad season of burnout.
4:10
And when I hit really bad seasons of burnout, I decided to fully surrender, drop into my softness, which meant that I was going to put zero pressure on how much I was going to execute.
4:20
I did not lean on my masculine.
4:22
I did not let my wounded masculine energy make me feel bad for resting.
4:28
And it was really, really difficult.
4:31
It really challenged me internally.
4:32
It challenged my beliefs in who I was as a human because when it came to how productive I was, I was attaching it to my self worth.
4:41
So I had to really work through that.
4:44
And then ever since I worked through that and I got really comfortable.
4:47
I did a lot of healing.
4:48
I found a lot of space with myself.
4:51
I finally learned what it felt like to be in my feminine, to surrender to trust and to lean in and to connect to the rhythm of my body.
5:02
And by doing so I healed, I really healed.
5:06
Oh My gosh, you guys nourishing and resting and taking care of myself and learning how to be present with everything around me has probably been one of the, the biggest gifts that I received during that time.
5:18
And then as I’ve been really picking up the energy towards a new pivot in business, which all of you guys know, I’ve been leaning into really building my speaking business.
5:28
I’m basically starting from scratch in a lot of ways and I’ve had to swing the pendulum back the other way.
5:35
So I’ve been really using my masculine energy as a way to take action.
5:39
But my entire goal and my entire intention has been, how can I take action?
5:45
How can I be in my power?
5:47
How can I take up more space without losing touch with my softness without overextending myself without getting unhealthy?
5:57
Because when I was overworking myself and overstretching myself and coming from a place of making myself wrong if I wasn’t producing, I got sick.
6:07
You guys, you know, I was always exhausted.
6:10
I always felt like my immune system was fighting something.
6:13
I just was low key, depressed maybe for a while.
6:17
And, you know, it just didn’t feel good.
6:19
My energy was all over the place and all over the and up and down.
6:22
And, you know, at the end of the day I just wanted to execute.
6:25
So that is the point of this podcast episode is to really teach you guys how to execute and be fulfilled, how to execute and still feel nourished and fulfilled and joyful and energized and happy with your life without feeling burnt out, without feeling like you’re getting hard on yourself.
6:45
So a couple of things that I’ve implemented on my calendar and some little mindset shifts that I’ve done is the very first thing that I’ve implemented is I’ve created this CEO hour on my calendar.
6:55
So if you don’t already have your journal or have your notes, like, make sure you’re taking notes.
6:59
The CEO hour is the thing that the hour within my week where I look at the entire week ahead.
7:05
And I say, OK, so what is important to move the needle in my business?
7:09
What is important to move the needle in my relationships?
7:12
What is the important thing that I need to do to support myself?
7:16
So I have this checklist of things that I do during that hour and during that hour, I ask myself.
7:21
All right.
7:22
So again, what’s going to move the needle of my business this week?
7:24
Usually I always focus on sales first.
7:27
So anything that’s going to be pipeline driven first?
7:30
So what does that mean?
7:32
So is it, is it scheduling follow up calls?
7:35
Is it making introductions?
7:37
Is it reaching out to new customers?
7:39
Like that’s kind of how I structure my business then?
7:41
I do?
7:42
All right.
7:42
Second thing is how to, what’s the next thing I need to follow up?
7:46
What kind of marketing plans do I have?
7:47
What kind of podcast guests do I have?
7:49
What is my marketing strategy?
7:50
Marketing falls into podcasting, linkedin, social media, email marketing?
7:57
Things like that.
7:58
And then third thing that’s really important to me is finances.
8:02
So I’m keeping an eye on my finances.
8:04
And then the last thing, the fourth thing is, is like, how can I make sure that I am nourished and fulfilled this week?
8:10
So I always go through my calendar, I schedule all of my workouts.
8:13
I schedule my sunset walks that I have realize are very important to me.
8:17
And what I have done too is I I these are all non negotiable.
8:22
So my thing is during your CEO hour, what are the priorities that you want to make sure that you’re implementing into your week?
8:28
This is an opportunity to create the structure to supporting your business, supporting yourself, to being held.
8:33
And that is number one thing.
8:36
The other thing that I have put on are just like other blockers on my calendar.
8:40
So like if you know, I, I’m going to prospect, I have a specific block for that.
8:46
If I’m going to do my workouts and take care of myself, I have that blocked out if therapy is important to you block that out in getting sunshine two hours a day, block that out.
8:58
You know, a very long time ago, I realize that so many of us prioritize all of these meetings with everyone else and we don’t drop the ball, but we are constantly dropping the ball for ourselves and we forget that we are the CEO S of our life.
9:16
So you are the CEO of your life.
9:18
And if you schedule a meeting with yourself, make that a priority.
9:22
Don’t mess a meeting with the CEO of your life.
9:25
You are the CEO of your life.
9:26
So make sure you prioritize that.
9:28
The other thing I shifted was I prioritize my well being.
9:33
What’s gonna support my mental health?
9:35
What’s gonna support my clarity?
9:36
What’s gonna help my spiritual health?
9:38
What’s gonna support my physical health so that I feel more optimized to tackle everything versus before I used to schedule these meetings and then ask myself, where am I going to fit in my workouts?
9:49
Now, I put those things first and I always prioritize that.
9:54
So ceo hour is that I like to settle it like around Sundays or Mondays to get really, really clear.
10:00
And then the other part to this has been really learning how to honor my capacity.
10:06
And so what does that mean?
10:08
And so my own internal capacity is how much capacity do I have every day to execute?
10:13
And so like I do my priorities for the week, every day, I also have a set of priorities that I write down that I need to look at and take care of myself.
10:23
So let’s say, for example, if I was, if I was a mom and I had kids and my kids were number one priority, they would be the number one thing on my list.
10:30
If my business is the number one priority on my list.
10:32
Then that’s going to be the number one thing on my list.
10:34
If I’m in the season where my corporate job is asking for more of me, then I’m going to put the number one on my list.
10:39
And so those are, those are the kinds of things.
10:42
And the reason I say that is because first you got to priority what your tasks are every single day.
10:46
And then you’ve got to ask yourself, what does your capacity look like?
10:50
And so when we think of capacity, we could think about it as our own energetic battery, the battery that we operate on many of us, if you are feeling overwhelmed, overstretched, absolutely exhausted, tired and thinking to yourself that you never have enough time or you wish there was more hours a day, you are probably operating at 100 and 10 when you really have a capacity of 10 or 20%.
11:13
So you think you have all the energy, but you’re over, actually over extending yourself because you are either expecting yourself to operate at 100 100 and 10, 100 and 50% every single day.
11:23
But the truth is you don’t have that kind of energy and no one does.
11:27
And we like to think that we do by pushing ourselves.
11:30
But the biggest thing is that we got to stop pushing ourselves.
11:32
So when you identify and determine every single day that you wake up what your capacity is like, let’s say I wake up, I woke up today and I felt like, truly, I have 80 to 90% capacity.
11:44
I knew that I was in a knock shit out today.
11:47
I was like, oh I can work it out.
11:49
I’m going to go to a coffee shop.
11:50
I’m going to sit there and I’m going to do this.
11:52
Oh Amazing.
11:53
So I did that in the last two days.
11:55
There was actually one morning where I have a set of an AM meeting for my speaking business.
12:00
The speaking program that I’m in, it was really important for me to be there.
12:03
I woke up.
12:04
You guys absolutely exhausted.
12:07
I did the meeting and then I, I sat with myself for a second.
12:11
I closed my eyes and I just checked in with myself and I was like, what do I really need right now?
12:15
And I looked at the calendar, I didn’t have anything scheduled on the calendar.
12:19
And then I realized that I was like, you know, I really think a nap would be really good for me.
12:24
So I went back and went back to bed at 830 in the morning and woke up just about an hour, hour and a half later.
12:31
And the rest of the day I knocked some shit out and I gave myself that I do the same thing throughout my day all the time.
12:40
So I, I’m like, ok, what do I need right now.
12:42
Is it more water?
12:43
Do I need to make sure that I’m eating food?
12:45
Do I need to go out for a walk?
12:47
What can I do to optimize my capacity?
12:50
But the very first thing is ask myself how much my capacity I have.
12:53
So like for example, if I wake up tomorrow with 50% capacity, I’m going to look at my to do list, I’m going to look at my priorities that are going to help me move the needle forward, really prioritize what’s important.
13:04
And I ask myself all right, with 50% capacity, what can I accomplish today?
13:07
And what can I check off the list?
13:09
And y’all I do, I do not no longer get myself to 0% capacity unless it’s absolutely necessary.
13:16
So most days I start to really wind down or step away from working on things when I hit that 10% capacity.
13:26
This has been absolutely amazing.
13:29
This has also worked for me when I go to networking events.
13:32
So I do a lot of networking events.
13:35
You guys probably see me on Instagram.
13:36
I’m traveling a lot.
13:38
I travel to a lot of different conferences and things like that.
13:41
And you know, being someone that is a projector by human design, not necessarily, you know, I don’t think I’m an introvert, but I do love my alone time.
13:49
And I energize a lot, I have realized that socializing gives me a lot of energy but I also get very exhausted from it and I no longer drink really alcohol.
14:00
When I go to conferences or anything, business wise, I will probably drink alcohol once, once a year, almost or once every six months because they, and I love to appreciate the, the gift, the, the work of wine and, you know, the uniqueness and things like that.
14:15
But like, truly, I don’t drink and it has given me such a gift because when I go to these networking events, I’m way more in tune when I’m tired and I’m tapped out and it has been such a gift, such a, such a gift.
14:28
And so, yeah, I share that with you guys because really, once you get to this place of really listening to your body and listening to your own system and not constantly over extending it, you’re going to see 180 flip.
14:46
So instead of feeling like you don’t have enough time, you’re going to be so much better with your time because you are using the energy that you do have the blocks of times that you do have.
14:57
And so those are my biggest things.
15:00
And now what’s going to also happen if you guys want me to dive into this a little bit more, what ends up happening when you start to honor your capacity, there has to be this internal conversation that you have to have with yourself because you’re going to have to work through the parts of you, they’re going to be like you should be pushing more.
15:17
You should be, there could be more that you could be doing.
15:19
Why are you not sending more emails?
15:21
Why are you not marketing more?
15:22
Why are you not working towards this more that part of you?
15:24
Is your ego that’s trying to keep you safe.
15:26
So that is an internal conversation that you got to have with yourself and you got to remind yourself and your body that you are safe, that you are ok that you’ve got this and to allow your sister some of these parts of you that are getting scared at that time that they can trust you and that you’ve got this.
15:41
All right y’all, I’m gonna throw you guys this little money curveball that I just received in its life hack that I’ve been using.
15:47
Did you know that if you paid towards your debt or credit cards weekly and does a portion of your minimum payment every single month that actually is going to drop down your minimum payment?
15:59
I didn’t know this is the thing I’ve been using it more recently.
16:03
Yes, I’d love to try and pay my credit cards off.
16:05
But something that I did not know was possible was just the ability of putting $10 towards my minimum payment every month and then paying it through.
16:14
It’s actually going to support my credit and also support the credit card from increasing their rates by blown the second stage to honor the third stage to honor your capacity is honoring it externally.
16:27
So how do you do this?
16:28
Like I mentioned, externally, honoring, this is making sure that you’re blocking off times on your calendar throughout your week and honoring and making those meetings, you’re going to make those meetings.
16:38
But you said you were going to go to sunset, you’re going to go for a walk, you’re going to go to sunset and go for a walk.
16:42
And you said you’re going to eat some lunch, you’re going to eat some l you’re gonna make it a workout.
16:45
You’re to make it to a workout.
16:46
So you’re really, really being consistent with yourself by honor it externally.
16:51
The other way that you have to honor your capacity externally is by setting boundaries or being able to communicate that.
16:56
So if people are asking if you something that feels like you can’t handle this week, push it out to next week, they don’t have to know, they really don’t have to know.
17:04
Just say, hey, I would love to work on that, but I can prioritize that next week.
17:09
I can’t get that to you now.
17:10
So that is a sense of saying, hey, this is where I’m really at and this is what I have capacity to do if you have to say no to a meeting that day because you don’t have the energy to it, girl do it because the way that I think about it is quality over quantity.
17:26
If you start to focus your energy on how much quality work can I do and how much quality of my energy can I give towards the things that are important to me?
17:36
For example, the podcast is really important to me.
17:40
I make sure I show up to all of the guest interviews if I am exhausted that day.
17:45
But I know that I have to give them all of my energy and all of my capacity to make sure that I’m showing up here fully, that I’m bringing the energy that I want you guys to listen to and hear me from.
17:55
I’m going to prioritize my podcast recordings and I’m going to say, hey, I can’t meet today or her friend wants to hang out and do lunch, but I know it’s going to be exhausting or it’s going to be too much for me that day.
18:07
I’ll say, hey, can we please schedule, how about Monday or how about Tuesday today?
18:11
I’m full.
18:12
The only person that truly knows what you have on your calendar is you, the only person that truly knows where you’re at energetically is you.
18:20
And one, I think we think that we’re going to let people down because we think we think we’re going to let people down.
18:27
But at the end of the day, it’s because we think that we’re letting ourselves down because we’re thinking that we’re dropping the ball and So by dropping the ball on other people, we’re dropping the ball on ourselves.
18:34
And so a lot of the times we are the ones trying to keep ourselves safe.
18:38
And I want to remind you that if you do not take care of yourself and do you not prioritize yourself, your work is not going to be the quality of work that you want to do.
18:48
And so this is such an opportunity for you to think about how you’ve been doing things and how you can integrate these things.
18:55
So to quickly summarize this episode, Ashton, if you found this helpful or if you start to implement this, please let me know or if anyone listening to this, please let me know.
19:03
But to summarize first, get that CEO hour or two hours on your calendar, I love to do it every Sunday, Monday.
19:10
That’s when I start to look at the week, get the five things that are very important to you to make sure that you are implementing every single week that supports you and create a really good, strong foundation.
19:20
And then third, as you move into your day to day, make sure you check in and determine what capacity at what your energy at.
19:26
Where are you at?
19:27
With your battery level, get really clear on with that level of battery or that percentage of battery, whether you’re at 80 70 50 20 10% battery.
19:38
What tasks are absolutely important to use and leverage with that capacity.
19:44
That is the most important thing.
19:47
Now, if you would like an episode on how to actually optimize and expand your capacity from a health perspective, send me AD M on Instagram and I’ll record that because that is a whole another episode because if we can learn also to expand our capacity and optimize it, which is basically optimizing your energy, optimizing your resilience, optimizing the ability to manage and tackle all of the tasks that life gets at us.
20:17
We will be unstoppable and that is something that I have been healing and working through the last two years.
20:22
I have the perfect person that can come onto the podcast and share with you what you can actually do start doing this from a health perspective.
20:29
Well, with that being said, thank you so much for listening today.
20:34
I hope you’ve had a chance to look and to listen to the previous episodes because y’all, I am getting so much great feedback from everyone.
20:42
I got so much love about the podcast episode that I did with Sana who was a spiritual mentor.
20:47
I think it was episode number 31 or 32.
20:50
Go back and look where we talked about so much when it came to relationships and people are really, really loving it.
20:58
And in the most recent episode, we had some a female entrepreneur that really talk about what it’s like to have a corporate job in two businesses.
21:08
And how strong and valuable we are as female entrepreneurs and how we’re actually more capable of running a really great business in a male dominated space and what that’s available to you.
21:19
We talked a little bit about how you can leverage your hormones as a way to understand what your capacity at, which would also be supportive of this one.
21:27
So if you didn’t get a chance to listen to that episode, I highly recommend that that was the one before this.
21:32
And as always, I want to invite you into sharing this with a friend, maybe it’s some another high achieving friend that you know, is doing a lot right now and they need to get a little bit more structured on how they’re supporting themselves and how they can get to a place of feeling supported, energized and feel successful in their day to day life.
21:54
So with that being said, thank you so much for listening today.
21:57
I hope you all have a really great week and we’ll talk soon.

Full Transcript0:00
Welcome to the fully expressed podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I am your podcast host, Karenna Soto.
0:05
And this is a show where we have different conversations that invite you to living a life fully expressed and creating relationships that are fully expressed and creating a business where you feel fully expressed.
0:14
So, truly bring being your most authentic self to all of the areas in your life and what that looks like.
0:20
And so today, we have a really special guest and so excited because I just met her name is Maricruz and Maricruz that I met at a networking event here in San Diego in a previous podcast.
0:32
We’ve actually had her.
0:33
But Marta Giri, who I taught her on this podcast, she was on this podcast and she is the editor and co editing in chief and owner of the locally well podcast as well here and Wellness podcast here in San Diego.
0:46
But she also has created such a wonderful way of networking with others.
0:50
She has truly like wrapped her arms around the wellness community.
0:54
And at one of those events that Marta Giri put together, I met Maricruz and we were just talking and connecting.
1:01
And then she shared her story at the event and I was like, oh my gosh, I really love her.
1:06
She is a founder and the owner of a couple companies, which I will let her talk about that.
1:12
But with that being said, I’m going to pass it over to her and let her introduce herself.
1:17
Hi.
1:18
Yeah.
1:19
Hi.
1:19
Thank you for having me.
1:20
I’m so excited.
1:21
I feel like we’re getting to know each other through this podcast and then also just letting everyone else kind of get to know me as well.
1:29
So like you mentioned, my name is Maricruz.
1:32
Maricruz Carrillo.
1:33
I was born in Rosarito Mexico, but I’ve been in San Diego since I was 10.
1:38
So since fifth grade and I am the co founder of a company called Sun Mud, which we do sustainable sunscreen.
1:46
And then I’m also the founder of Menos Waste for Menos Waste.
1:50
I help small businesses transition to a more sustainable space and I do that through workshops, one on ones and also have a youtube channel which I always like to plug in.
2:01
I am really passionate about the environment.
2:05
I am also an engineer and I’m also an entrepreneur obviously.
2:08
So I am really excited because I have pretty interesting story.
2:11
So excited to dive in.
2:13
Yeah.
2:13
Thank you so much for being here and you can just tell that you have so much to offer based on what you just told us I really want to dig into, you said that you’ve been going to school here in the United States since, since you were 10?
2:26
Mhm.
2:26
Ok.
2:26
Can you tell I would love to hear a little bit more about that story.
2:29
So when I heard this, I was like, oh, we need to dive into this some more.
2:32
So what does that mean?
2:33
What does that look like?
2:34
Yeah.
2:34
So it was a really interesting journey.
2:37
I was born in Rosarito and I lived there my whole childhood.
2:40
I actually like to say that I had the perfect childhood.
2:43
We lived by the beach.
2:45
I went to private school, you know, I had a nanny.
2:47
I I was living my best life for the 1st 10 years of my life.
2:52
But unfortunately, things started getting a little bit dangerous in Tijuana Rosarito.
2:58
So my dad actually decided to sell our childhood home, which was so sad, but hopefully one day I can buy it back, but he decided to sell everything and move to the US just for safety.
3:12
And that was a huge culture shock for me because I mean, I grew up in Mexico being Mexican, you know, speaking Spanish and just without a care in the world, right?
3:23
And then I went to out of all places, we decided to move to Jund in East County San Diego.
3:30
So my school was 99% white, right?
3:32
So then I went from being Mexican among Mexicans to now being am minority, which was a complete new concept for me.
3:40
Had no idea.
3:41
You know, I was in fifth grade.
3:43
I didn’t really know English that well.
3:45
So I was in the English second language classes and that’s where pretty much all the other Mexicans were in, in the school.
3:54
So I was able to build bonds with them.
3:56
But it was really weird to me and I immediately started adapting, right?
4:02
Like most immigrant families do where I was like, OK, what do I know about school in us?
4:07
And obviously it was the movies, you know, TV, shows.
4:11
So I started adapting and saying, ok, well, I want to be the cool girl obviously.
4:16
And like that was always the cheerleader, right?
4:18
I started doing things like that.
4:20
Like I joined the cheer team, I immediately left the ESL or English second language classes as soon as I could because I just wanted to be in the regular class, things like that.
4:31
I wanted to ride the school bus because that was a being in the movies, little things and I started adapting and right when I was almost, I felt like home again.
4:42
We had to move back to Mexico.
4:44
We couldn’t afford the life in the US, unfortunately.
4:48
And so we moved back to Rosarito and that’s when my life of being a transborder student began.
4:55
So I would live in Rosarito, but then still travel because I needed to finish school here.
5:00
And so this would look like maybe waking up at 3 a.m. from Rosarito having breakfast, driving, crossing an international border which was so volatile.
5:10
Sometimes it was an hour, sometimes it was 3.5 and so kind of gauging that getting to school a little early, having to nap in the car if we got there early or being late very often.
5:22
Right.
5:23
You know what that looked like for about seven years until I was in sophomore year of university.
5:31
So that was kind of wild.
5:33
But I have been in school here since fifth grade and then now last year I finished my phd.
5:40
So it was a long time.
5:43
But yeah, it was kind of interesting that I actually wasn’t the only one doing that.
5:48
Right.
5:48
I had friends in the bus that were also crossing the border every day and it’s kind of almost normal here in Tijuana to do that, which is wild to me.
5:59
Now, now that I’m a little bit of an adult, you know, I’m like, wow, I did that.
6:04
You did.
6:06
Yeah, you did do that.
6:07
So for those that don’t know or maybe listening on the other because I know there’s people all over the world that listen to it sometimes too.
6:12
It’s like TJ Tijuana is like on the border of San Diego.
6:15
So it’s like San Diego to cross the border into Tijuana, Mexico and it’s such a close thing.
6:22
And even for me like someone who grew up in California, like, or even here in San Diego, it’s so easy to go and be between the two.
6:29
Right?
6:29
It’s not like huge thing.
6:30
It’s like you just drive through the border and then you come right back and it sounds like you made that like your life.
6:36
Like you, your dad really wanted something better for you and brought you to the US and then you had to go back.
6:41
And so you were doing both Dally life.
6:43
I’m so curious, going back to that little part of you that was living here, living in at the time that you’re living here and you started going to school.
6:52
Did you, do you resist the change?
6:54
You said that you adapted really well, but did you resist it at all or were you like, really open to just starting to do a lot with like Americans did?
7:02
Right?
7:03
Yeah, that’s an interesting question.
7:05
And actually I feel like I haven’t thought about that, but I definitely was more on the side of not resisting.
7:11
I’m just in general a very adaptable person and I think maybe life has made me that way also, I’m a Gemini.
7:18
So I kind of like Morph into whatever I need to morph into.
7:23
So like I mentioned, I started adapting to it, like, you know, speaking English as much as I could becoming a cheerleader, all of these things that were American, right?
7:34
I feel like I even started eating a certain way.
7:37
Right.
7:38
Just to try to fit in and make the change.
7:41
Not as abrupt, I guess.
7:43
I try to make it better for myself.
7:46
Yeah.
7:46
It seems like you were more open and curious and leaning into, versus resisting it.
7:51
And it’s interesting because on the podcast recently, we’ve talked a lot about the, the need to belong, like, you know, as human beings.
7:58
Like, we have such a deep desire to, to belong and to be a part of communities and we wanna be accepted and we want to be like the others.
8:05
We wanna be like, wait, you’re doing this thing.
8:07
I wanna do this thing too because it helps us feel connected to one another versus further apart.
8:12
And it sounds like you naturally were more open to adapting to the differences.
8:18
Yes, for sure.
8:20
Although I will say obviously, I felt comfortable with my community as well.
8:24
So, you know, the 10 Mexicans that were in the school I was very good friends with and two of them are still my best friend, my best friends today.
8:34
And it’s the most beautiful friendships that I have probably because we were bonding on that level of like, yeah, experiencing this school together.
8:44
So, I it’s not like I abandoned, you know, my Mexican culture for a little bit, but I definitely tried to adapt to the American culture as much as I could.
8:55
It sounds like, and I want to divide that a little bit more like, you know, you said you were a little bit of gemini.
8:59
So you’re kind of ok with like almost like chameleon, like in and adapting.
9:04
But how did you get to a place now in your life?
9:08
Like truly finding like who you were in that, like that split identity.
9:11
It’s almost like you were living two different worlds.
9:14
You were very open and flexible and living to both worlds.
9:17
But how did you find yourself through that?
9:19
Yeah, it’s been, I mean, that’s a very deep question.
9:23
It’s been quite a journey, especially, it seems like I’ve put myself situations that are uncomfortable throughout my whole life.
9:31
As in like, you know, I could have picked any major, I decided to go with mechanical engineering.
9:37
Right.
9:38
I could have just gotten my bachelor’s degree, got to work and decided to go for my phd and like all these things of, like, I could have made it a lot easier on myself, but I think it’s just kind of my, yeah, my personality of trying to adapt and trying to, like, find fun in the challenge.
9:59
If that makes sense.
10:00
I still feel certain times like a little bit like the imposter in these environments, especially in engineering where even though I have a phd in mechanical engineering, I’m still like, oh, at work, you know, when I’m at work I’m like, maybe I don’t know what I’m doing, you know, or like, maybe I’m not supposed to be here because I’m the only Latina in the whole building, right?
10:22
And it’s like I’m still kind of working through that, but I definitely feel more empowered to fully be myself because of the experiences that I’ve had.
10:35
Like, I feel like I know how to navigate it if that makes sense because of that initial experience of having to do that.
10:42
Yeah, if you’re open to sharing, like, what does the impostor syndrome look like?
10:46
This would be so helpful for anyone that’s listening because I think as we’re stepping into really owning ourselves and putting us in rooms that we felt called to, like you said, it’s like, oh, should I be in this room?
10:56
What do you mean like, like this feels a little stretchy but I wanna be in this room like but am I OK to be in this room?
11:03
Do know enough to be in this room?
11:04
So what does that look like for you?
11:05
Yeah.
11:06
And actually I want to correct myself and I think there’s a change now of instead of calling in an impostor syndrome is an imposter imposter phenomenon because it’s not a syndrome like there’s nothing wrong with you.
11:19
It’s usually has actually nothing to do with you.
11:22
It’s your environment that you’re in.
11:24
So basically, in case nobody has heard of it before, this imposter phenomena basically is this feeling of not being in the right place and kind of faking belonging.
11:36
If that makes sense.
11:37
And usually it happens when the environment is not very inviting or maybe there’s not a lot of people that look like you or share your similar experience in, in a space.
11:47
So obviously, being woman of color in mechanical engineering, I’ve felt that throughout my whole educational career and it really goes into your deep, deep childhood traumas, right, that you have to kind of work through.
12:05
And it’s if you are feeling it, like, don’t feel bad because I feel like that’s, it’s almost like extra work that we have to do, right?
12:13
If we’re putting ourselves in those spaces and it’s, it really is a, is a deep psychological work, right?
12:21
So if I’m sitting in a room with 10 white men and we’re talking about a problem or a project that I’m working on and then they keep kind of saying little things kind of negating what I’m saying or, or ignoring or something like that.
12:36
And I get really frustrated, you know, and I have to go back and think, ok, why am I so frustrated?
12:44
And where is that coming from?
12:46
Right.
12:46
Like, obviously somebody might say from the outside, but obviously you’re frustrated because they’re ignoring you and all these things.
12:52
But then if I really meditate on it, I’m like, well, I remember that one time, you know, in sixth grade where my math teacher who was a white man did this and like, made me feel little and all these things and like, oh, that’s where it’s coming from, right?
13:08
And so kind of unpacking that can allow me to like, ok, maybe they’re not attacking me currently.
13:16
That’s just coming from a previous experience.
13:19
So the next time I walk into that room, I can maybe come with a little more confidence of like, ok, they’re not attacking me, you know, that was just my mind kind of reliving that and then I can more confidently speak up, speak up, right?
13:32
And like, say like, no, actually, I do think I’m right because this is this, this, this, you know, so it’s a lot deeper than just saying like, oh, you know, whatever, just brush it off and come back to the next meeting.
13:45
So it is a lot of work.
13:47
Oh, it is so much work and you just talked about it like it’s so, but a lot of people, a lot of people, I think sometimes do that where like they do brush it off and they’re like, I just got to be more confident.
13:58
I just got to speak up, you know, but it sounds like you’re taking more of the route of actually being with yourself in that experience and getting really, really curious to, well, where is this actually coming from?
14:08
And you’re witnessing the fact that it’s becoming your perception in that situation and it’s an opportunity for you to like work through that, which I’m so grateful that you walked all of us through that because it’s, it is, that’s the level of work I would say it takes to not only show up differently externally, but also show up differently internally.
14:28
Yes.
14:28
Which at the end of the day, like we’re all, yes, we all have this external experience.
14:33
But I think the most internal experience that we’re having is the most present, right?
14:37
We’re the ones living with our thoughts.
14:39
We’re the ones living with the frustration.
14:40
We’re the ones living with the anxiety or the heaviness and you’re willing to do that work of like, OK, what is my internal experience happening?
14:49
Where is that coming from?
14:50
And then how can I be with that part of me?
14:51
So I feel more confident.
14:53
So I feel more safe in these situations to believe my, to believe my thought, right?
14:58
To get curious and be lean into what I truly believe in, which is like your most authentic self there, right?
15:05
And then one thing that I wanna add is that sometimes I get stuck in this like mindset of like, well, it’s wrong like they made me feel this way and it’s wrong.
15:16
But honestly, those 10 white men that were in the room are not thinking about it at all.
15:21
That’s what kind of drives me crazy sometimes is like, I’m over here overthinking everything and like not being able to sleep maybe or something like that.
15:29
And they literally have no idea, you know, that I’m going through all of this.
15:34
And so that’s just showing you that you can’t control anybody else.
15:37
Right.
15:37
So, controlling how I react is the, is the only thing that I can do unless I go and tell them like, hey, you’re being mean, you know, or something, it’s not going to change anything.
15:50
That’s, that’s all.
15:51
Yeah, I think, I mean, you’re so right.
15:53
And I love that.
15:54
You said that because it’s so true.
15:56
You know, like people really don’t know how you feeling.
16:00
They’re not mind readers.
16:01
And unless someone that’s intentionally being manipulative or like has like narcissistic tendencies or is gaslighting you.
16:09
And I also think that to an extent, sometimes people don’t even realize that they’re doing that because they’re not aware of themselves, but that doesn’t necessarily give them permission either.
16:18
Like to your point, like there’s a lot of the work that we can do on our end and be like, how can I manage and be with my experience?
16:24
And it, and then I also think that if it does get to a place where someone is being disrespectful, like I’m like leading to those hard conversations and be like, hey, I, you may or may not realize that what you said made me feel this way, but this is how I do feel.
16:36
Can I I don’t appreciate you talking to me that way or right?
16:39
Love if you ask me more questions about this versus assuming because then there’s like those internal conflicts but, and it’s actually you closer together in relationship.
16:49
But to your point at the end of the day, they are not aware of how something makes you feel unless you tell them.
16:55
And to some extent, there is some work that we can do on our end is that fair.
16:59
And by doing the work on our end, then we can more confidently come back and be like, hey, this is how that made me feel.
17:07
I would suggest not doing that again, you know, totally because you’re working through your emotional response, right?
17:13
Because our emotions are, I always think of it this way.
17:16
Like it’s like if you can navigate how you’re feeling and like be with your emotions and allow them to move in the way that they need to move, then you can get way more clear on how to show up in that experience.
17:27
Sometimes like, like you said, this is such a great example because like you got triggered and you realize, oh, it’s my 10 year old teacher English teacher that did this to me.
17:36
But that whole all of your life, you felt those things.
17:39
And so there’s like all of this history that your body is experiencing, you have to work through that.
17:44
So then you get more clear to be like, ok, what’s actually happening in the present moment?
17:48
How do I navigate what’s happening today?
17:51
Not what’s happening to me?
17:52
10 years ago, our body thinks that it’s what’s happening 10 years ago.
17:56
Yes.
17:57
Life hack or you coming to, you go put yourself in a room, invest in a community that puts and creates spaces that you feel seen and hurt.
18:09
So if you have access to investing into communities or finding rooms or groups of people by taking classes, going to work classes, meditation classes, sound about classes, whatever you’re kind of craving, maybe dance classes, whatever that looks for you, invest your time connection is everything.
18:32
This is a huge life hack.
18:34
We need to be in rooms that are in the energies that we want to be in and what we want to step into.
18:39
And here’s a little pro tip.
18:41
If you live in a city where you do not have access to these types of communities, create your own, start hosting your own monthly dinner or girls hang out and ask and see if there’s a few people that want to get together that you feel like are in a line in the journey that you’re at and create those spaces and talk about the things you want to do.
19:02
I promise you you’re going to start to feel way more, seen, way more inspired, way more encouraged in those spaces because it is constantly feeding back into your system.
19:13
I would love to know as we like to start talking a little bit more about like your businesses.
19:18
What inspired you to open up your businesses like, and how do you navigate all of these things in a similar way?
19:25
But in the rooms that you’re creating for yourself.
19:28
And I love that question because in speaking about this imposter phenomena, I feel like in entrepreneurship is where I felt at least.
19:37
And I think it is because I’m building my own things, right?
19:42
I’m building my own businesses based on my values based on my rules.
19:46
And it feels very like personal and very like their mind.
19:51
So I feel like the owner of, you know, my business is obviously you are the owner, I’m the owner.
19:59
So it’s not so much about like, oh, am I not supposed to be doing this because I chose to do it?
20:04
And I, I’m doing so I decided to start my no waste almost five years ago now, maybe six years ago because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough, which in itself is something I have to like, work through, you know, therapy.
20:21
I’m always feeling like I could do more, but I was finishing my grad school and it was in engineering and I felt like I wasn’t doing enough for the community as a whole and for the planet.
20:34
So I decided to start this business to kind of, you know, do a little more and put in my little grain of salt, you could say into this huge problem, environmental problem that we have, right?
20:45
And it started off as making natural products actually.
20:48
So it wasn’t a consulting business at all.
20:51
It was more like I was making deodorant toothpaste and like things like that, but more sustainably.
20:57
And I really felt like that allowed me to connect with my community because then I would talk about all of the environmental aspects of your personal care through my products, right?
21:08
And through my Instagram and started growing my Instagram community as well, putting tips and things of living a more sustainable lifestyle.
21:17
And then I just started learning and learning and learning and learning.
21:19
So once I gathered all this knowledge, people started going to me for advice, right?
21:27
They’re like, hey, I want to start a business too.
21:29
Like, how did you go about this?
21:31
How did you go about that?
21:32
And then I was like, oh, I would love to tell you and that was like, really when I lit up, right?
21:37
I was like, oh, let’s sit down for a coffee and we’ll lay it all out for you.
21:42
And so I started noticing that I was like, you know what I really enjoy this and I really saw a need, especially in my community, my Latino community because I noticed that there was a lot of businesses that were doing sustainable things but not really capital on them or noticing.
22:01
So I was like, this could really be something where I can help my community kind of like access that space of sustainability.
22:08
It’s such a big word, right?
22:10
Sustainability and a lot of people just think of like eco friendly products, right?
22:15
But yeah, so what does that mean?
22:16
It’s so much more so menos waste actually stands on four pillars.
22:21
It’s environmental, financial, social and cultural sustainability.
22:26
That fourth one is actually a menos waste exclusive.
22:29
I have never heard somebody include that in holistic sustainability.
22:35
But it’s basically kind of saying that these four things have to work together and have to be in balance in, in order to have a successful business, right?
22:42
You could lean maybe too much into the environmental sustainability and then you start feeling it in the financial sustainability side, right?
22:51
Or maybe you’re focusing too much on the finances and you start losing a little bit of the social sustainability of like maybe getting really cheaply made parts or something from like not so many good sources, right?
23:05
So balancing those four and the cultural one is really special to me because I really felt it with menos waste where sustained felt very different than what I was.
23:18
If that makes sense, it probably doesn’t make sense, but it was very whitewashed in when I first entered it, right?
23:24
If you look at in youtube like sustainable lifestyle, it was only white women, only white women in Canada or Australia or England.
23:33
And then I was just like, ok, so like it was, it was really different to find myself in that space.
23:40
So I started feeling like, I was deviating from my culture and from my personality trying to be more environmentally sustainable.
23:49
And so I was like, this is literally not sustainable because I’m losing myself in this.
23:55
And that’s no way to build a business, right?
23:58
You have to be authentic, you have to be passionate about everything that you’re doing.
24:02
Otherwise you’re going to give up when it gets hard, right?
24:05
So I added that fourth pillar because I really felt myself like losing that, right?
24:10
And I was like, I don’t want anyone else to build a business that makes them lose themselves because literally not sustainable.
24:17
This is so good.
24:19
Can we dive into that some more?
24:21
Because I feel like, you know, when you get into business who get into this place and like, how are other people doing it?
24:27
And you go and find and you go out there and search and you’re like, OK, who’s doing what, what’s doing what?
24:31
And it’s interesting, you see, I don’t want to call them clicks or just like communities, right?
24:36
So like to your point, right?
24:37
Communities and different pockets, like even in business, like yesterday, I went to a conference and I went to the Aspire conference and it was such a beautiful business financial conference and it gave you all the aspects of like business logistics.
24:51
We also talked about like finance and like wealth and investing and all these things.
24:56
But this specific conference like attracts a certain amount of people, but they’re also like a certain and they’re amazing and not necessarily take any away from that.
25:03
I’m just talking to the fact that this conference lives in a specific part of the business community.
25:08
And then you have other business conferences like I got invited to one which is like the business energetics for female entrepreneurs.
25:15
You go to that branding and it’s like all pink and, and black and white and purples and it’s just all about the energetics and the type of woman, the type of business that goes there.
25:25
It’s like all these like spiritual entrepreneurs, right?
25:28
So, and then now you’re talking about this space within a space, within a space, space, you know, you’re talking so much so like the sustainability industry and what is it like to do business and sustainability?
25:39
But then what does it actually look like within those groups?
25:42
And I love the fact that you, you saw yourself.
25:46
You’re like, OK, I’m gonna grow and I want to lean into this and I don’t want to lose myself.
25:51
What was that like part?
25:53
What when did do that?
25:54
Like huge milestone happened when you’re like, no, like I’m losing myself and I need to bring my identity back into this.
26:00
What did that look like?
26:02
I think it was a pretty specific moment when my niece told me, how come you don’t do like content in Spanish?
26:12
And I was like, I actually don’t know, like, I don’t know why.
26:17
And so I was like, you know what, I’m going to make an effort to do in Spanish.
26:20
And actually, if you go farther back in my youtube channel when I started it, like, two years ago and then I stopped, I have my videos both in Spanish and English, but I started noticing, I had no idea how to speak sustainability in Spanish.
26:36
Right?
26:37
And I was like, hm, like, how do you say, I don’t know carbon emissions or carbon neutral, you know, now that I think about it, I’m like, well, it wasn’t that hard, but I just had never used them and I had never learned them and I was like, well, where’s why don’t I know all this in Spanish, right?
26:55
So I was started kind of reflecting on that.
26:58
I’m like, well, all the content that I’m, you know, absorbing, whether it be youtube or articles or conferences or things like that is all in English and it’s all coming from certain people, right?
27:11
And so I was like, well, I need to change that, right?
27:15
Let me diversify my my content sources a little bit.
27:19
And once I started diving into that, I started noticing, you know what, there’s actually so much wisdom in indigenous cultures, in Mexican culture and my alias culture, right?
27:32
Like all these things were like, why am I trying to fit into this other mold of the modern sustainability?
27:40
You could call it when I have so much wisdom within me, like in my ancestors and in just my culture, right?
27:48
Of what already is sustainable.
27:51
So I guess my niece was kind of what triggered it because she doesn’t speak English, right?
27:56
And she’s like, I want to watch your stuff and I want to follow you.
27:59
But, and she was only like seven at this time.
28:02
And she’s like, but I, I don’t understand it.
28:05
And I’m like, oh no, like this is I’m literally building this business for my community and I am not being accessible, I guess to them, right?
28:17
And so that’s kind of what took me down that lane.
28:20
It was a pretty specific moment.
28:22
Yeah, it’s interesting.
28:23
Like I would love to know how, I don’t know if you know this because I think about this too.
28:27
So I’m Peruvian.
28:28
So I also have a Spanish background.
28:30
I speak Spanish fluently, but I was born here in the US and my parents are from Peru.
28:35
And so funny enough, Nick is just got his holistic Practitioner certification, something like that.
28:43
He’s been learning so much about how food is medicine.
28:46
Let’s just talk.
28:47
And he told me that onions are a great medicine to attack histamine or like when you’re sick and things like that, I, I looked at him and I go, oh my gosh, my nanny from Peru used to give me like literally shaved onion like you’d shave the onion and then she put sugar on it and, oh my God, I hated it.
29:04
I, she hated it.
29:05
It was the worst taste ever because she was, like, take a big spoonful every time I got sick and it helps go away and Nick goes, he’s like, holy cow.
29:14
Like, and your grandma and, like, your nanny from, like, I was like, yeah, like, she just knows this from our background, our culture and our ancestor to what you’re talking about.
29:23
And there’s so much wisdom there that he’s learning in school about.
29:27
Yeah, in the US.
29:28
And I’m like, oh I didn’t even think that I grew up with that, you know, like to me, it was just like kind of normal and there’s a lot of things that my mom knows about food, being medicine and these different tools and things like that.
29:39
So it’s so beautiful to hear that you’re doing that and that you have it in your back pocket, you know, were you, you always targeting the Hispanic communities or you were always targeting Hispanic communities?
29:51
So it’s actually in my name, right?
29:54
I have the company is called Menos Waste, soos, meaning less, less waste.
30:00
And I was very intentional about having a Spanish word in it just to make that, that distinction, right?
30:06
Of like, hey, I’m here, I’m Latina.
30:09
I’m doing this right?
30:10
And, and being very outward about being proud of my, of my heritage.
30:16
So I made sure to include that Menos and I also saw a bigger need for those that don’t know what that means.
30:24
What does that mean?
30:24
Menos means less though Menos waste is less waste.
30:30
And I saw a bigger need actually in my community.
30:33
So it was very intentional, especially like trying to reconnect them back to Mother Nature and make them realize that they already are doing sustainable things.
30:44
That was like kind of a wake up moment, I guess when I was like, oh, like this is really a need and I could really help my community at the same time.
30:54
Wow.
30:54
And saying, and what, so let’s talk about your second business.
30:58
So how did you get to a place of opening up sun mud?
31:01
Which by the way, I’m gonna drop a little thing.
31:03
I’ve used it and it’s so good for those who haven’t looked into it.
31:06
I and I love it because it’s a very healthy, sustainable product, not just good for your skin but also good for your, the oceans.
31:14
Am I correct in saying that correct?
31:16
Yeah.
31:17
So sun mud is really interesting because initially because I already had mental waste, I’ve had mental waste for way longer than, than sun mud.
31:25
Sun mud is relatively young.
31:27
I would say we started working on the formula for their sunscreen.
31:32
about three years ago, it took us about two years to develop the formula.
31:38
It was our original formula which not a lot of sunscreen companies can say usually, you know, a lot of them white label stuff or just copy somebody else’s formula.
31:48
But that’s why ours is special and it feels bad.
31:52
I think.
31:53
So.
31:54
I initially started as more of a sustainability consultant for Sun Mud.
32:00
I have two co-founders and I already had mental way.
32:04
So they were like, hey, we’re thinking of doing this and we want it to be the most sustainable sunscreen in the market.
32:10
So I was like, I’m in, you know, and of course, I fell in love with it and then I’m like, OK, I’m going to be a founder as well because I love this product.
32:20
And I really think we have something here.
32:22
So before that I actually was making sunscreen for myself, probably for like seven years.
32:29
I didn’t grow up using sunscreen.
32:31
It’s not really part of a Mexican culture and I was in the sun a lot.
32:36
Like, I definitely should have been wearing sunscreen, but I wasn’t until I began to surf.
32:43
So I’m, I’m a surfer now and I began to really get sunburn out there when I was doing long sessions.
32:49
So I was like, OK, maybe I should look for a sunscreen.
32:52
I couldn’t find anything in the market that I liked.
32:54
So I decided to make my own, having this research background.
32:59
I just researched it myself and I was like, OK, what can I use to, to do do it?
33:04
And I just made a little concoction with zinc oxide and shea butter, I think, and a few oils and was just wearing that.
33:13
But I was looking really goofy out there in the lineup because it was the zinc, right?
33:20
So it was like, it would make me look purple and looked really silly.
33:24
But I didn’t mind because I was just surfing.
33:26
Right?
33:26
But the more research I did, the more I was like, I should use this more on the daily sunscreen is really a thing you should be wearing every day, not just when surfing.
33:36
So I was like, this is not going to work because I’m not going to be walking around with the zinc on my face.
33:41
And at the same time, I was kind of dating my partner now my partner and then I started making sunscreen for him because he’s also a surfer.
33:51
And so he really liked it.
33:53
But again, we had the same issue of like white faced sunscreen, but we started kind of making tweaks to it and trying to play around with it.
34:03
And then really when we decided to or they decided to start a sunscreen company was when his preschool friend was like, hey, I hate all the sunscreen in the market and he’s also a surfer.
34:16
So he’s like, I hate it all.
34:18
Like, I know Maricruz is making her own, like, can I just have some of hers?
34:23
And I was like, sure I’ll make you some, like it’s not the best.
34:27
And then he was like, it’s not the best, but it’s better than anything out there.
34:31
So, if you’re down and start a business and I’m like, wow, ok.
34:36
So it’s the three of us.
34:38
It’s my, my partner and then his preschool friend.
34:41
Right.
34:42
So, it’s really a family business.
34:43
We all, like, trust each other fully.
34:46
And miles is the third co-founder and he was the one that added the clay in there.
34:51
And that’s what I was really like, life changing.
34:54
We’re like, this is the best sunscreen like ever.
34:59
We really need to make this a thing.
35:01
And so we did, that’s kind of a long background story.
35:05
But yeah, so how do you manage all of it?
35:07
How do you manage menos waste, sun mud and life?
35:11
Yeah, we were, we were talking about this before recording that.
35:15
I, if anyone knows human design, I’m a manifesting generator, which means that I have a lot, a lot of energy because there’s, there’s also generators.
35:25
But manifesting generators are like in a different level.
35:28
I just always have to be doing something and I just, I have the energy for it.
35:34
So I also have a 9 to 5.
35:37
So it’s a 9 to 5 and then two businesses became much full time and I like to prioritize my time.
35:45
So I’m one of those people with the Google calendar with like different color coded time blocks for me to work on stuff and that’s kind of how I manage it all by prioritizing.
35:57
I always get asked this question and sometimes people are like, well, you must be so good at managing your time.
36:05
And honestly, I’m not, I’m good at prioritizing my time, which is way different.
36:11
I think it’s not just about making the 24 hours, kind of like using them wisely.
36:16
It’s prioritizing what you spend those 24 hours on.
36:20
That makes sense.
36:21
I still sleep my eight hours at least every night.
36:24
You know, I still like to think I have a good relationship with my partner.
36:28
We, like, make time for that and my family and my friends and surfing, which is like a whole other relationship.
36:36
Yeah, it is.
36:37
Yeah.
36:38
So, yeah, I would say the way I do it is by prioritizing and really like staying true to myself.
36:44
Right?
36:45
Because saying like, oh, I can do all of this and not be healthy, like, not eat good, not sleep.
36:53
Well, all these things like that’s not going to happen.
36:55
Right.
36:56
So I have to be honest with myself and what I commit myself to then I’ve gotten pretty good at it in the last, like, six years.
37:04
Yeah.
37:04
So good.
37:05
Did you ever hear or hit a point of burning out or like, overwhelmed or like, this is too much.
37:10
Yes, I have during my phd.
37:12
But honestly, it was more due to my phd than my businesses.
37:17
It was year two of my PhD program and it was a five year program and I was kind of hitting a wall with my research where it had been months since I had gotten a good result.
37:28
And I was like, what am I doing this for?
37:31
And then I had a really bad experience with the professor and all these things started happening.
37:37
And I’m like, why am I even doing this?
37:39
Like, this is not even getting me to what I want in life.
37:43
That’s what I thought at the time, right?
37:45
And I, I just went into this existential crisis of like, why am I here on this planet?
37:50
Like, who am I here to serve all these things?
37:53
And it wasn’t pointing towards my phd and I realized that all I had to do was take a whole week off.
38:01
I didn’t do anything for a week and it kind of helped me restructure my mind and then I came back and finished it, you know, it was fine, but it was a point of burnout because of more of the emotional side of what are humans here to do.
38:20
Yeah, like more in like asking yourself like the bigger questions, like the bigger questions that are like, well, what am I supposed to be doing?
38:27
What am I really going to do?
38:28
Is this aligned with what I’m doing?
38:30
I know like those moments really come at the best time, you know, but they can be because of a compound effect, right?
38:37
Like you’re, you’re emotionally drained, you’re physically drained, you’re spiritually drained.
38:41
And then all of a sudden these big questions come up and you’re like, now I have to answer these big questions.
38:45
What do you mean?
38:46
Because I’m like, already putting so much energy out there.
38:49
And I think they just, the fact that you talked about prioritizing is so big in business.
38:55
Like I, I also have my 9 to 5.
38:57
I, I also have my life, I’m actually a projector.
39:00
So I do not have any kind of energy that you do not to the level that you do.
39:04
But I have learned to prioritize my time, you know, and like really honor my capacity.
39:10
And for me, it has been so much more like, ok, if I’m honoring my capacity in my day to day, what is my capacity there for?
39:17
So like I have 50% battery today, what are the most important tasks that I need to get done with that 50% battery?
39:23
And that’s how I execute versus thinking I have to do it all, you know, and like in the, I had to do it all or what’s like that, that’s where I think we get caught up sometimes.
39:32
But I really had to get clear on like, ok, what are my five things that I have to do every single day?
39:37
How do I move the needle, my business, not do it all?
39:40
Like not get overwhelmed by every task, but which task needs to get done today.
39:44
And I got forced to doing that because like for you, you might have 100% battery all the time or more because as a man, you know, sometimes or as a Manny gen, you know, you also spike in energy for my understanding.
39:57
So and for those that don’t know, human design go to take your human design because it’s such a beautiful way to understand your energy profiles, like an energy blueprint if you will, right?
40:05
I think that’s the best way to describe it.
40:07
There’s four different signs, there’s the projector, the manage generator and collector and each of those different buckets have different ways to manage their energy.
40:17
There’s different things that make them feel really good back to what I was saying, you know, as a projector, I had to like really get really clear.
40:23
I’m like, OK, I don’t have that much energy.
40:26
So what can I prioritize with the energy that I do have and push through without burning myself out?
40:30
Because that is not going to be supportive because then I’m like in the stucking a spiral versus like, OK, if I can execute what is necessary with the energy that I do have, that feels really, really good versus not getting anything at all because I’m overwhelmed with the fact that I have to do a lot, you know, and I, I might be opening up a can of worms here.
40:50
But being a woman business owner completely changes the game as well because your energy, like I can’t speak for this, like on this for hours, but your energy is not constant throughout your monthly cycle.
41:08
I like to call it your lunar cycle because we’re in sync with the moon, right?
41:13
That’s again, probably a whole other episode.
41:16
But we’re not.
41:19
Yeah, let’s do it.
41:20
We’re not the same when we are menstruating than when we’re ovulating, right?
41:25
Like right now it’s a full moon which means I have the most energy and I’m probably ovulating next in the next couple of days.
41:34
So that really allows me to do it.
41:38
All right.
41:39
Right now, I’m in my superwoman phase of like, yes, I can do all the by two business, all the to do list all of this and clean my house and eat healthy and cook for the whole week and all these things.
41:50
But catch me in two weeks and I’ll be on the couch ordering, take out maybe, you know, and like not doing anything but understanding where you’re at.
42:00
Like I love that.
42:01
You said I’m at 50% today and that’s totally fine because as an entrepreneur at the end of the day, you’re your own boss, right?
42:09
You have nobody to report to and yes, you want to grow your, your business.
42:13
But you know, be nice to yourself if you’re like, hey, boss, can I like do 50% today and you’re the boss.
42:21
So you didn’t just say yes, you know, and like give yourself that opportunity to, to rest.
42:26
Amen.
42:27
I’ve talked about that before and I love that and like for anyone that’s listening, so she’s on fire today and I am deep in my moon.
42:34
So I am deleting and low energy.
42:37
But as an example like, yeah, I woke up this morning without an alarm.
42:41
I was like, I can’t make anything but a burrito sounds good.
42:45
So I went to Ghana and I got myself a burrito.
42:47
I laid, I sat by the beach, I walked my dog and I came home and napped for three hours.
42:51
And now I’m doing this podcast because I knew that the energy that I did have was what I wanted to bring to the podcast.
42:56
This is like I could have woken up and gone hard on myself and been like, OK, what else can I do before the podcast?
43:02
And that before would have stretched me too much versus, I’m like, OK, how much do I have?
43:08
And where do I want to put it?
43:09
And to me was this podcast recording with you.
43:12
And, but that’s just a way of honoring like our different types of where we’re at in women and learning about hormone cycles.
43:19
Oh my God.
43:19
That is, it has been the biggest game tutor.
43:22
So it’s so funny, you know, you can have human design, you could have our hormonal cycles or like to your point, you know, lunar cycles and like using that as a tool to meet you where you’re at.
43:33
And also use as a way to like, not put pressure on yourself because we aren’t meant to go at 100 and 20 percent or 100% all the time.
43:41
Right?
43:41
We need rest.
43:42
Rest is productive, taking care of ourselves are really good.
43:45
And as a woman, you know, we almost have that like built into our system automatically.
43:50
It’s like, hey, go run your, your marathon for the first two weeks and then I’m going to be a rest after that.
43:56
And I’m going to prepare you to go run that marathon again and like, do what you really want to do.
44:00
It’s like it’s our bodies are working for us, not against us.
44:04
They’re like preparing us and being like, hey, this is the most sustainable way to live and it’s literally biologically built into us.
44:11
So how lucky are we?
44:13
Like, I always cringe when people are like, oh, I have my period.
44:18
Like I hate this and like, I hate being a woman and I’m like, no, no, no, no.
44:23
Like we’re so lucky we have this ability to built into us.
44:28
Like you said, to recognize when we have to rest and when we have to go, go, go, right.
44:34
And we’re so much more powerful when we do rest.
44:38
When it is that marathon running time, we’re so much more powerful than, like, not to put them down.
44:44
But then men, right.
44:45
Like, we’re just, we’re built to be powerful.
44:49
Yeah.
44:49
There was something that, I don’t know if you know this, but back in, like, old tribes or old cultures and I don’t know exactly which ones but they would use, they would look to women as the white, this one and actually, like every time that they were on her moon and she was bleeding and they were like, all right, she’s going to go inward.
45:06
And so all the women because traditionally, as anyone knows, like maybe you guys end up syncing up with each other.
45:11
But like what you said, like most of us are bleeding around the moon, like I’m bleeding on the full moon and you’re usually bleed on the new moon.
45:18
And so when you’re in a regulated state, which is a whole another thing right?
45:21
To get your hormones optimized and regulated, like you can kind of track that you’re on the same as the moon.
45:27
But long story short, these like cultures and these tribes would look to women and say, all right, you guys go into your little inner world and go go figure out what’s working and what’s not working for our tribe, for our thing.
45:41
And then they would come out of the out of their bleed once they’re done bleeding and then the follicular phase and be like, all right, so this is what we do, what we need to fix, it’s not working, what is working because as, you know, a lot of the times that our luteal phase or when we’re menstruating, like we’re usually, our periods are usually emotional or things are coming up for you, you’re paying more attention to like what’s not working, what is working, what’s making you frustrated, what’s aligned, what’s not aligned.
46:07
Yeah, it’s so amazing that in old cultures and maybe some still, you know, that are still living in tribes, they look to women as the guide for that and like, all right, you guys are this powerful being like go do your thing that your body is doing and tell us it’s not working and what is working.
46:25
And it’s like, how can we leverage that in our life today as like also using our cycle and our hormone or our cycle as a way to communicate with us and for us to listen to versus to what you are saying, it’s like, it’s not a feeling.
46:41
It’s like, wow, you are.
46:42
There’s so much my body is telling me right now that I get to listen to.
46:46
It’s like it’s communicating with us daily.
46:49
It’s not trying to take you out of the world.
46:51
It’s actually trying to prepare you and set you up for the kind of success that we’re here to do in our life.
46:58
And something super interesting too with indigenous people that they, that they do.
47:04
And they’ve done for centuries is trust women to decide when it’s too much.
47:11
So, an example would be like, the men would go out hunting.
47:16
Right.
47:17
And they would just hunt, hunt, hunt as much as they can.
47:20
And that’s a very male energy.
47:22
Right.
47:22
Like I’m just going to go, go and get as much food as I can.
47:27
And it was the woman’s job to say, ok, now we need to stop like we have enough or like if they’re foraging, it’s like, ok, yeah, there’s a lot of blueberries on the bush, but we don’t eat anymore.
47:38
So now you stop, right?
47:40
So women have always been like the regular regulators in these communities and I feel like that so much in sun mud, my business because my two co-founders are male and so I’m the only female and I’m always the one saying like, they’re like, oh, I’m going to go to 50 stores and get the sun mud in there and everything.
48:02
And I’m like, whoa, whoa, whoa, there’s only three of us in the team, right?
48:05
Are we ready for that growth?
48:07
Like, how can we better prepare to make sure that we’re showing up and we’re being the best, you know, company or like the best partner to these retailers, right?
48:18
And it’s always back and forth of like, ok, we should make more products and I’m like, well, are we all done with the ones that we currently have?
48:27
Like how we gotten those to the potential before we start making something new.
48:31
Like, it’s always interesting because I feel that way, like I’m the regular, it’s interesting in business because I just went to a talk yesterday, it was for Latina entrepreneurs and they were talking about the difference between the female and the male brain.
48:49
Just literally like neurologically how we are built to be entrepreneurs pretty much because our hippocampus is actually larger than men.
49:02
And the hip hippocampus is really in charge of memories and of convictions and which leads to empathy, right?
49:11
And understanding and connecting.
49:13
So we’re literally better connectors, we can empathize a lot better.
49:18
So we’re really good at finding the need with our customer and our clients and all these things.
49:24
But really we live in a male dominated world, right?
49:27
So, and it’s like this balance of like honoring ourselves and our femininity while still trying to make the world a little better.
49:36
That makes sense like putting ourselves in those spaces when it’s the right time.
49:41
You know, because we do need to heal this world.
49:44
And I just think we need more feminine energy in general because of all these things we’re talking about, right?
49:50
Because we have the power we have, we’re closer, I think to nature, we have those moments where that veil between spiritual and the present like physical world is thinner and we just we just magical like that, you know, it’s like I really do think we need more women and entrepreneurship to kind of balance out this highly male dominated world.
50:15
Wow.
50:16
What’s, what a beautiful invitation to like, really owning our feminine?
50:21
Which is, I think even more difficult.
50:23
I don’t know if it’s like the same, you felt this in Mexico, but at least here in the United States, like our culture is primarily masculine energy.
50:29
You know, a lot of us get caught up in that I need to do more now, you know, like I’m not doing enough, which is like a whole thing.
50:35
But you’re talking to so much of just honoring the feminine and like being the feminine energy, which is like more, more flowy, more integrated.
50:43
It’s the one that can see more of a open and curious perspective and kind of like really integrating versus like the masculine is really like the pushing the structure like the forceful, the bold energy.
50:56
And it’s so cool to hear that in your current business today, you are becoming like the balancer in a way you’re like, all right, I’m here for you guys energy and we need it.
51:05
You know, we’re, we’re here for your energy.
51:07
So I think you need both, right?
51:08
I think your point like it’s not an either or situation but will the gift that we have as the feminine like and I love it is like we are bringing in what they cannot see.
51:17
And I do think that more men are starting to see that more often.
51:21
And I’ve never in and for me personally and like the corporate world, most of the times I’ve had men be my allies, they’re the ones kind of like going up to bat for me and like pulling me forward and like helping me grow.
51:33
And so it’s not that, I think there’s a lot of men that are against it.
51:36
I just think they don’t see it the way that we see it.
51:38
And so it’s an opportunity for us to show them.
51:40
It seems like you’re doing the same thing for your current company with the two men that are in your life and your founders because that’s so cool and it’s like such an invitation for the feminine.
51:50
I would love to know what does Mari Mari cos like fully expressed self look like?
51:57
So like as you’re building all of this, like, what’s your, what’s your goal?
52:01
What are you working towards?
52:02
And how are you bringing your fullest self to that?
52:05
Oh That’s a good question.
52:08
That’s funny because I feel like right now how you’re hearing me, how you’re listening to me and how maybe people are receiving me.
52:17
I think that’s my full self right now.
52:20
Before this, you know, I sat down, I did some stretching, I did some breathing and I, you know, I noticed that it is a full moon.
52:29
I noticed my energy was at 100% all these things and I showed up today where I needed to, right?
52:36
I was actually able to do a lot before this podcast because I realized I was at 100%.
52:43
And the my fully expressed self is bringing all of that with me, right?
52:49
Is as, as an engineer.
52:51
It started feeling like that’s who I was, right?
52:55
That was my identity.
52:56
Like when people ask me, like, you know, who are you?
52:59
I would say look, I’m a mechanical engineer, you know, that that was my first answer back in undergrad.
53:05
And I felt like I couldn’t bring all of me to engineering, right?
53:10
I I will never forget when I was in a group for my masters and they asked when I wanted to do the presentation, which I always got put on the presentation because I was the only girl which that’s again another whole episode.
53:26
But and I told them, hey, we should do it, you know, I don’t know April 30th because it’s the full moon and they all looked at me like I was crazy, right?
53:35
They’re like, oh, are you also going to burn some sage?
53:37
You know, like I’m like, yeah, sure, why not?
53:43
But I immediately felt like I couldn’t bring that to that space, right?
53:49
And then just being a full woman, like presenting myself as a woman and all these presentations in front of all male engineers, right?
53:57
Like I had to dress a certain way to mask certain parts of me, right?
54:02
So I think my fully expressed self is showing up fully as the feminine that I am, right?
54:09
Showing up with my herbalist background, with my astrology, showing up with everything and using all of those as tools because that’s really what they are, right?
54:19
Once you learn about all these different things, you can use it to live a more fulfilled life.
54:25
And so showing up to any space with all the parts of me I think is my fully expressed self.
54:32
So that means that 100% yeah, you are 100%.
54:37
You bring 100%.
54:39
But I love that.
54:39
It’s just like you bringing all of you no matter what room you’re in.
54:43
And I think that’s what we all need to remember.
54:45
It’s like, how do you want to dress up, dress up?
54:47
However you wanna say, you wanna say whatever your things are, do it.
54:51
It’s like why not just own that all of that versus like feeling like you have to mask.
54:57
And I think those are just things that we get to navigate on our internal world like I was talking about and then by honoring it internally, like in owning that part of ourselves, eventually the external world gets a lot easier.
55:09
I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves and we think that the external world is against us.
55:13
But it’s so much more like the world will meet you when you step into your fullest express self, right?
55:19
The rooms will open when you’re like, I want the Medicus, you know, like this is how she is, who is the most authentic.
55:25
And then rooms just start to open up that way.
55:27
You know, your connections start to bring you in in the same direction because you’re bringing all of you versus if you’re constantly kind of like owning maybe 50% of you, the rooms that accept 50% of you are gonna are gonna be there.
55:40
They’re going to be like the constantly in the background and you’re like, wait, I want to be more like this, but it starts with us first and most importantly, you’ll enjoy everything a little more, right?
55:48
My, my two words for this year is joy and ease and I think being fully expressed allows any sort of environment and any sort of scenario or action to be a little more joyful and to be a little easier, right?
56:04
Because you don’t have to think about like, oh you know, is my turtleneck like long enough or like am I covering my butt or like, oh, am I saying something weird because I’m just being myself, right?
56:17
Like it kind of takes a weight off of like, you know what, just be yourself so that you can’t say anything wrong because you’re just being yourself and so everything becomes joyful that that meeting with 10 white men.
56:30
Now all of a sudden is kind of like an experience, right?
56:33
And I’m just going in there and being like, let’s see what happens today, you know.
56:38
Yeah.
56:38
So it really decreases the stress level, I think.
56:42
And it really helps also with that impostor phenomenon at the same time.
56:46
Yes.
56:46
So good.
56:47
I love this.
56:48
I so loved this conversation with you, Maricruz.
56:51
How can this was amazing?
56:53
And I love how you just brought all of you today, which is so cool.
56:57
I think the lines really aligned in that.
56:59
So thank you.
57:00
And if someone wants to follow you continue to get to just like support you celebrate, you learn more from you.
57:06
Where can they find you?
57:07
Thank you.
57:08
You can find me on my website menu unto com.
57:12
I’m also on Instagram.
57:14
We really have a close knit community over there that I love and that’s at underscore Menos Waste underscore.
57:22
So there’s two underscores in there.
57:24
And then I also have a youtube channel, as I mentioned, I started it up again this year.
57:30
So I have a few videos in there and it focuses all on helping you build a small business sustainably.
57:37
And again with the four pillars of sin ability, not just an ecofriendly business.
57:42
And then of course, if you want to support sun mud, I do think we have the best sunscreen.
57:47
So if you want to check it out, that’s sunmudsunscreen.com and I think that’s it.
57:51
Yeah, that’s amazing in touch.
57:54
Yeah.
57:54
Well, thank you so much for being here.
57:56
It was so sweet and yeah, it was just such a great conversation.
58:00
Thank you.
58:01
Yes.
58:01
Thanks for having me.

Full Transcript0:00
Welcome to the fully expressed podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I am your podcast host, Karenna Soto.
0:04
And this is the podcast show where we have conversations that truly invite you into living a life fully expressed.
0:10
So, what does that look like in relationships?
0:13
What does that look like in your business?
0:14
What does that look like in your career?
0:16
What does that look like in your personal life?
0:18
We’re constantly having different kinds of conversations to truly invite you into that version of yourself.
0:24
And what I love about this show is that it’s usually just me and my girlfriends or me and my friends or anyone that comes on here just having a conversation as if we’re eating over dinner.
0:33
So we’re going to get vulnerable and honest and tell stories and just truly create a space for you to learn, but also explore the different parts of you.
0:42
And today is really special because I have a special guest which I feel like the universe has just like connected us in like a really weird way we haven’t met in person yet.
0:52
But thank goodness for the internet.
0:54
You know, I think, and I’ll tell you your name in a second.
0:57
But what I love about the internet is that there is this like wider reach to connect with people that are in your world, right?
1:04
And I’ve always had this love hate relationship with social media, which I’ve talked about on here.
1:09
But this is one of the gifts and the blessings that social media has like really gifted me with.
1:15
And so I would love to introduce you to Sana.
1:18
Sana is a spiritual mentor for ambitious women who crave a softer way to create the life that they deeply desire.
1:26
She’s also the host of the Thriving and Love Podcast and founder of the Shakti Society, a mentorship program for women to be well paid well loved for their authentic self.
1:39
And if that doesn’t tell you why she’s on this podcast, I mean, it just truly captures the reasons why she’s here.
1:47
And what I love about Sana is that her and I’s energy, like, truly just like vibes off each other.
1:53
I feel like, you know, and I’ll let you say something in a second.
1:56
And if you don’t know this, I was actually a guest on her podcast, the Thriving and Love Podcast where we talked about when it went from people pleasing to fully express with my own journey.
2:06
And so I’m so excited to have her here to share her journey and her story as well as being an invitation for you to fully lean into your feminine, fully lean into surrendering letting go and listening tuition and the, and the importance of what that means to honor that for a season.
2:24
So that being said, I will pass it over to Sana.
2:28
Hi.
2:28
What an intro.
2:30
Yes to Instagram synergy.
2:32
I love it all.
2:34
I’m so honored to be here and excited to dive in.
2:37
Yeah.
2:37
Thank you so much for being here.
2:39
It’s just so sweet that Instagram brought us here, you know.
2:43
Yeah, I think my favorite thing about Instagram is that it kind of does connect to you.
2:49
Like the algorithm will show you things that you like, right?
2:52
So then shows you things that you think only you like and then you see someone who is talking about everything that you are only thinking, which is why I fell in love with your page and your content.
3:05
And I was like, oh my gosh, it’s like the first time I saw someone really talking about being fully expressed and what that means as someone who is like, not just using expression for creativity but like a way of life.
3:19
So I was like, yes, like the ambition, the shining our authenticity, shining our light like in all ways, not just in our business, not just in our creativity, but like all of it.
3:31
Love it.
3:32
Oh Thank you.
3:33
I know, I think it all comes back to like owning our authenticity, which you talk about your content too.
3:40
And it’s so crazy when you start to you start this work in a way of like, oh, how can I heal and fix me?
3:47
Right?
3:47
It comes from a place of like, I don’t feel like enough.
3:50
I want to fix these things about me.
3:52
Am I doing something wrong?
3:53
How can I become better?
3:54
And I have just found that so many of the answers are just being your most authentic version of you and bringing that to any table or any room that you step into, you know, totally.
4:06
But like, yeah, so like owning that and being proud of it and being rooted and grounded in your truth.
4:13
And that means being ok with those difficult conversations, putting your foot down, speaking up claiming your space, all of the above.
4:21
It’s not just about, oh, this is who I am.
4:23
This is me.
4:24
Hi, nice to meet you.
4:26
It’s like having those moments of knowing when to be vulnerable, knowing when to be powerful and balancing the two.
4:33
I love that.
4:34
So do you have a story or an example of what that has looked like for you on your journey?
4:40
Yeah, I think my greatest one is the one with my relationship with my husband.
4:46
So when I first started to dive into spirituality, which was a calling that I felt intuitively, not something that I was seeking.
4:53
I just kept feeling these nudges and these calls towards human design, astrology, yoga.
5:00
Just more mindfulness practices, meditation, somatic practices.
5:04
And it just felt like I was entering this whole different world and my husband was noticing these differences and these changes and every time I would mention spirituality, he would be like, what are you doing?
5:16
What are you saying?
5:16
Why are you talking about this?
5:18
And he would get triggered?
5:20
And he would be like, like I don’t because he, I guess probably has some religion trauma, right?
5:26
So for him, he’s all about being an atheist, not believe me in God.
5:30
He’s like, I don’t, I don’t care about any of that.
5:33
So he got triggered and I needed to chew, like, do I surrender my spirituality this journey?
5:41
That finally makes me feel so good?
5:44
Like I belong, like, I’m not a weirdo for wanting to grow and evolve as a human being, right?
5:50
Like wanting more than the 9 to 5, wanting more than just this traditional life that we felt for ourselves and like wanting to learn how to manifest all of the things, right?
5:59
And I had to choose like, ok, do I treat spirituality as something more than just this hobby and go all in or do I stay safe in my comfort zone with my husband and just be like, ok, that was fun time to let it go.
6:14
But like, I couldn’t, like I tried, I did like, I’m not going to lie.
6:19
I tried to be like, you know what, I’m just going to go back to my real world.
6:24
Maybe this is too much.
6:25
Maybe it’s not real, maybe it’s not for people like me.
6:28
Right?
6:28
Like I’ve seen so many white women that are in this space.
6:33
I haven’t seen a single woman of color who is talking about manifestation.
6:38
See a lot now, which is amazing.
6:41
But this was like three years ago and then I let it go for a little bit.
6:45
But then I swear to God at Kara, you probably feel this too where you’re walking and you just see all the signs, you see angel numbers everywhere, you see synchronicities and signs and you’re just getting like a video that’s speaking to your and you can’t ignore the call.
7:03
So I told my husband, hey, I need to figure out what is calling me because it’s getting louder and louder and I cannot ignore it.
7:12
That’s when we decided to get our own apartment.
7:15
And I lived in my own apartment in Upper East Side.
7:18
He was in Upper West and I spent the week just diving in, sitting in nature like just going all in on my feminine and on the weekends we hung out and we had strict boundaries.
7:33
I’m not allowed to talk about spirituality and he’s not allowed to like judge me or put any of his preconceived notions on what I’m doing.
7:42
We literally were like, it felt like we were newly dating where we’re not allowed to talk about all of our parts again.
7:48
And it was actually really fun and exciting to like, have a whole world and have his whole world.
7:54
But then date on the weekends to like, just hang out and then on the weekdays, I’m just like, hanging out with God, hanging out with God.
8:02
I love this.
8:04
And it really, like, I was doing like psychedelics during the day, like I wasn’t working at all.
8:09
I literally just completely surrendered.
8:11
I got like unemployment during COVID for being self employed.
8:15
So I literally just spent all that money on just surviving during the time that I wanted to go all in on this journey.
8:22
All right, dropping another life hack for you.
8:25
Add more red light therapy into your practices into your daily routine.
8:31
And what does that actually mean?
8:33
So one way to get actually free red light, you can do that from the sunrise or you can do it from the sunset.
8:39
So you can easily just walk outside and get the sun, the sunrise light and red light that is available to us or when you’re going out to the sunset.
8:47
One of the most beautiful things that I love about San Diego is that we most of the community and myself go to sunset because it’s like God putting on a party.
8:57
Yes, I want to definitely be at God’s party as he’s showing off and doing work with his sunset.
9:03
But I’m also doing it so I can support my circadian rhythm so I can support my system so I can help myself daily.
9:11
This has been life changing.
9:13
I do this the best that I can.
9:15
First thing in the morning, get outside, try and hit sunrise or if not, I go outside first thing in the morning to get sunshine.
9:23
If you do not have access to these things or you live in a place where it’s not as sunny, you can still receive sun by going outside one thing, but red light therapy, you can actually buy red light products and you can support your system by supporting red light.
9:37
And it has been a game changer.
9:40
I also live in California.
9:41
So I do get sunsets and sunrises but adding red light therapy and doing infrared saunas that have light or buying the loom box that I just recently bought and putting the red light onto my body directly.
9:55
First thing in the morning and at night before bed has been a game changer.
9:59
I am sleeping so much better.
10:01
My boyfriend and I calm down at night time using the red light.
10:06
So if you are interested in splurging in a red light product, highly recommend doing it.
10:12
It has been amazing if you are not take advantage of the sunrise and the sunset or you can look for sessions around your city that do sauna and infrared saunas or that have red light therapy in their products.
10:26
So thank you so much for listening.
10:28
So many things.
10:29
Ok.
10:29
So can I can you clarify?
10:31
You were married at the time?
10:32
Like you were like, you guys were fully married.
10:35
Yeah, fully married for 6.5 years.
10:38
Traditionally married, like super one bedroom, like New York City, like super traditional life.
10:46
This is so beautiful because I’ve heard I’ve been friends with women that are married, you know, and I run into more married women and then they start to come into their spiritual awakening in the middle of their marriage.
10:58
And it’s, I’m so curious, what was it like to navigate that?
11:01
And in stepping into this, like newer version of you that you quote unquote are experimenting with, right?
11:08
You’re like, I’m starting to get to know this version of me.
11:10
There’s something that’s calling you.
11:11
There’s a part of me that’s more like, how did you take the first step from even being OK with owning that?
11:19
You know, I think it’s one thing that we all hear it but like, how did you work through the fears of like, fully owning that?
11:24
And the possibility, I mean, like even the possibility of things not looking the same anymore after being married for six years, you know, like things act and transforming.
11:34
No, I’m so happy you asked that question because we gave each other the freedom to be like, let’s have a couple of months of not being husband and wife and like energetically and allowing ourselves to like, pretend like we’re not married at all.
11:54
So that we can literally just explore.
11:57
Do we even want to continue this relationship as we go through this death and rebirth and give each other that full freedom to let a version of our marriage go.
12:08
And if we do come back together and we choose each other, it’s going to be a fresh start.
12:14
It’s going to be brand new.
12:15
It’s going to be new versions of us and we’re going to build from the bottom up again.
12:21
Yeah.
12:22
How was he open to that idea?
12:24
Right away.
12:25
It was a lot of crying.
12:26
It was a lot of the moment that I remember the most vividly is he was crying.
12:33
We were on the bed and he was like, I just don’t want to hold you back.
12:38
I don’t want to dim your light.
12:39
I don’t want to be the reason.
12:42
Yeah.
12:42
Like I think it was, it was very emotional.
12:47
It was very beautiful in a way that we both felt like we were the reason that the other person wasn’t reaching their full potential.
12:55
Like, and you know, when you love someone, you would rather set them free and let them go and become the most magical version of them, whether it’s with you or without you.
13:07
Yeah, I mean, I remember when I got my apartment, it was like the day I was moving out, it felt very like we were literally leaving each other or like it was, it was weird because we weren’t getting a divorce, we weren’t separated.
13:23
We were very committed to staying in a relationship, but we were also very consciously aware that everything that we built up to that moment was not going to be how we continue our relationship because it wasn’t optimal for our highest self.
13:37
Like me being the one cooking, cleaning him, being the breadwinner.
13:41
I wanted to be a super successful woman on my own 2 ft and he wanted to be someone who can fully take care of himself without relying on anyone else.
13:51
So we knew that that those versions of us were not longer going to be.
13:55
It was really emotional.
13:57
My gosh, I bet.
13:58
I mean, but it sounds like you guys hold true to how much you guys loved each other and was like, well, I still want the best for you even if you didn’t know the exact way of getting to your best versions of you or most optimal versions of you is the word that you use, you know, and that I would love to know, what did it look like when you first moved into your place?
14:17
Like how did that transition go?
14:20
How did you fully surrender into that experience?
14:23
The first night was the hardest, the coldest the most like, I mean, we I didn’t have a bed yet, so I was sleeping on an air mattress, barely had like comforter and pillows and stuff.
14:37
I like ordered everything and it was gonna come like literally the next day.
14:41
So the first night was weird, like unpacking boxes and I remember journaling that night and being like, I made the biggest mistake ever, I miss him so much.
14:52
Why did I do this?
14:53
I want to go back to my house.
14:55
I could have 30 minute ride right on the subway just like go down back to lower East side.
15:00
But I decided to just sit in my emotions and that was the first time I didn’t drink my problems away.
15:09
I didn’t just binge watch TV to run away from my feelings.
15:14
I consciously, I don’t, I don’t even, I wouldn’t even say this was conscious because I didn’t know at the time what it meant to sit with your feelings and feel your feelings.
15:23
I just intuitively allowed myself to just cry and feel and move my body and really feel my own sensations.
15:32
Eventually I went to sleep and I woke up and it was like the birds were chirping, the sun was out.
15:39
It was the most magical morning I’ve ever experienced in New York.
15:44
I packed a bag.
15:45
I took a stroll out, came across the steps of the Met and my whole childhood all throughout high school.
15:53
I was obsessed with gossip girl.
15:54
I read all the books when the show came out.
15:56
I binge watched it.
15:57
I was obsessed with Gossip Girl and I get to the steps of the Met and they were filming the new gossip girl right there.
16:04
And I was just like, what are the chances that I never go to the Met?
16:10
Because I was in Lower East Side and you don’t go up 14th Street being naive.
16:14
Little 20 something year olds in New York.
16:16
So I never really went to Central Park or the Met or anything.
16:19
And that day I was like, wow, there’s a whole world still to be discovered and I’m just starting a whole new chapter in my life.
16:28
And it gave me so much hope of all that’s, that’s to be explored the entire time.
16:33
You were talking.
16:34
I just got like chills throughout my entire body.
16:36
It was like zap, zap, zap, zap, zap zap.
16:38
I was like, oh wow, I love that.
16:41
You shared that because I think a lot of what you’re sharing too is like there was so much beauty in it that you saw too.
16:46
But then there was a lot of like rawness and realness and feelings and that you had to work through at the same time.
16:53
And even though you knew you were listening to this part of you that really needed this God, the universe spirit.
17:00
However anyone’s listening to this connects to that life or source, it still showed you signs.
17:05
You know, one is like, hey, you’re supposed to be doing that.
17:08
Just look at this beautiful experience that is waiting for you because you made that choice.
17:12
I was held completely, completely.
17:16
Without a doubt in my mind, I felt so supported by the universe because I took the step, right.
17:24
Like I was really frustrated before where I felt like I didn’t have freedom.
17:28
I felt like I was really stifled.
17:29
I felt like I was really just outgrowing my current environment.
17:33
And then as soon as I took that leap and got my own place and the first day came and went, it was magical like that whole eight months of living in that apartment.
17:44
I had miracles nonstop coming into my life and feeling deeply emotional because I was healing the deepest murkiest wounds that weren’t just mine, but also for my ancestors and like just the most intense deep shadow work.
18:05
But when I keep trying to say this to people, people are so scared of shadow work and going deep into their murkiest emotions because they think it’s just going to be this darkness.
18:14
It’s not because hello, we’ve got science on our side with the law of physics where it as deep as you go is how high you go.
18:23
It’s just the law.
18:24
You can’t avoid it.
18:25
You’re never going to be stuck in the darkness because the opposite of that will always need to exist at the same time.
18:33
It’s, it’s like you really need the dark and the light.
18:35
You know, I think once you get a taste of like owning the messiest parts of you or the darkest parts of you in this shadow work that you’re talking about.
18:44
It’s almost like there’s so much more space for love and light and beauty on steroids.
18:49
All those.
18:50
It’s like you haven’t, if you haven’t felt the extreme of the darkness, you don’t, you get to also experience the extreme of the joy and the light and the energy and the beauty that, that we all genuinely want to feel.
19:04
Right, these levels of high levels of emotion, but you can’t have either or in order to have both, you have to be with both, right?
19:11
Is that fair?
19:12
Yes, exactly.
19:13
And I like to think that our deepest wounds have our greatest treasure.
19:16
Trust is like that’s where the greatest treasure lies.
19:20
You can’t get to the other side until you’re willing to go through.
19:23
There’s so many sayings that exist to remind us that that’s how you get to the gold, right?
19:30
That diamonds are made under pressure.
19:32
There’s so many ways that the universe has been reminding us of the simple truth that you can’t have the good without the bad, you can’t have the light without the darkness.
19:43
It just is.
19:44
And once you accept that and embody it and live it, you’ll see that that’s how you end up being someone who stays calm while there’s chaos going on in your world and how build up the emotional maturity, how you build up the courage and the resilience and all of the traits that are required in order to become a strong, independent, sovereign, conscious leader that’s here to build the bridge to New Earth.
20:10
Wow.
20:10
Can we say that louder?
20:12
Just repeat that the tense all over again.
20:14
Did you hear that?
20:15
Like there’s that is available to us, right?
20:18
That calm and the chaos, the genuine sovereignty that you’re talking to like all of that is wrapped up.
20:25
I would love to know like what would be your advice to someone that is feeling the call to fully surrender, like listen to the parts of them that are asking for more of them, listen to the parts of them that are asking to experience something that is completely out of their comfort zone or something that’s completely out of left field, almost like I would have never thought that I would be doing this, but I really want to do this.
20:46
How do you, what would be the best thing for them to lean into that?
20:49
Like, how does someone lean into that?
20:51
And what can they hold on to, to give them hope as they’re moving through it?
20:56
The one thing I tell my clients is think about the five year version of you who will be the version of you who took that leap?
21:05
And what is the most abundantly strong, resilient, like powerful version of you and keep that vision while you’re going through the tough times and while you’re taking that leap first and initially and being like I’m doing this for her.
21:24
I’m doing this to become her.
21:26
I am doing this because that’s my birthright.
21:29
It’s my birthright to be the woman that I can’t stop thinking about and dreaming about and you get to you have free will.
21:39
So you get to choose to take that leap and know that that version of you is you like right now, it’s not someone in the future.
21:48
It’s not someone that you are going to one day become, as soon as you make that choice to leap, you become that woman who is fearless, who is independent, who is ruthless, who’s relentless about becoming the best version of her so that she can be of service and be a woman of God.
22:09
No, don’t be sorry.
22:10
I want to hear all of it.
22:12
That was amazing.
22:13
I want you to go off like that was, that was so good.
22:16
I just channeled the version of me that I can’t stop thinking about whenever I need to make a difficult decision in my life and that gives me the power and the courage to move forward.
22:26
Yeah.
22:26
It’s, it’s like you have this vision of you, this version of you that you’re like so that you hold so true to you.
22:31
I think we wouldn’t have the capability of seeing that for ourselves or you wouldn’t have the capability to see that for you if it wasn’t possible.
22:39
Like because you see it, it’s because it’s meant for you.
22:43
Yeah.
22:43
It’s our, it’s our spiritual gifts.
22:45
Each and every single one of us have it.
22:46
Some of us visualize it.
22:48
Some of us feel it emotionally.
22:49
Some of us just know in our bodies.
22:52
Like there’s a couple other Claires that I’m like forgetting like the cla sentient clairvoyant, they’re cognit, what are they, what does that mean?
23:00
So like, it’s kind of like your sixth sense, like each empath has a spiritual gift.
23:06
Like if you’re neurodivergent, then most likely you have a spiritual gift that is usually identified as like anxiety or depression or bipolar or schizo.
23:18
Like the mental health world doesn’t acknowledge the fact that we have spiritual gifts that we’re here to actualize and embody and get paid for our spiritual gifts and we do them like freely for our whole life.
23:33
So think about like, what do people like desire from you?
23:37
Like a lot of times people trauma dump on us, a lot of times people see us as their therapist or the people with the best advice.
23:45
And it’s because you have a spirit, a gift that other people don’t have.
23:49
So the world wants that from you and then you end up being drained if you’re not having an equal energy exchange.
23:56
So if you give your spiritual gift freely all the time, you end up bitter, you end up resentful, you end up drained and then one day you’re going to collapse and you’re going to need to build yourself back up with boundaries.
24:09
That’s why boundaries and energetic boundaries and all that stuff is so important for us.
24:14
Hm.
24:15
So much.
24:16
That was so cool.
24:17
I had no idea that that was a thing.
24:19
So for someone that realizes that they have spiritual gifts and they want to start leaning into these spiritual gifts and get a good energetic exchange, right?
24:31
Not just give, give, give because I think in our world today, in our culture today, it’s so normal for us and almost like celebrated, appreciated for how giving you are.
24:42
You know what I mean?
24:43
It’s like, hey, wow, you’re so selfless and it’s amazing.
24:47
And it’s like what so like for someone that is so selfless and so giving and it’s so hard for them to have their boundaries and for so difficult for them to see that they deserve more than just serving others that they also deserve, serving themselves.
25:01
What can be the that gets them to see that for themselves.
25:04
Well, the most important thing, the shift that I needed was realizing that the more I pour into myself, the more I have to give to others and self care for me now isn’t just like, oh a nice little luxury.
25:20
It’s a nonnegotiable so that I have the energetic ability to hold space for my clients to hold space in the spaces that I’m being asked to hold space in.
25:29
Like if you can’t hold space for yourself, you cannot hold space for others.
25:34
So if you’re a healer, if you’re an empath, if you’re someone who is, you know, of service to others, you taking care of yourself is only going to make you a more powerful vessel for source to work through you so that you can serve better.
25:50
Yes, I love that.
25:52
It’s like, I wish everyone could hear this, you know, in that way, I would love to know when you dove into your feminine and like you really surrendered into it.
26:01
How long did you stay in that season?
26:03
And how long did you honor it for?
26:06
And what did it look like to integrate the masculine to help you get to this place of like fully owning all of your guests in a very embodied state because we’re talking about the surrender where talking about the boundaries, which is a little bit of both the mask, the feminine and masculine.
26:21
And I would love to know what that was like for you.
26:23
Yeah.
26:23
So I completely surrendered my masculine like full, let go of working full, let go of wondering what’s going on in my relationship.
26:33
I just let everything be and unfold the way it wanted to unfold because I needed to go inward completely and just tap into my intuition, tap into strengthening my inner wisdom and learning.
26:51
Like I was doing probably a psychedelic journey every month during the full moon to simply learn as much as I could receive all the Muslims that I could.
27:04
And then I felt like, wow, I mean, I know everything.
27:08
I’m ready to get back to the world.
27:11
Oh boy.
27:12
And then I had to learn the hard way that that is step one.
27:18
And then there’s a whole integration process and embodiment process that needs to happen.
27:25
Like people come back my Alaska and they’re like, oh I’m God and I’m like, yeah, come back to me once you integrate that into like once you get back into the real world, like how does that actually?
27:36
Yeah, you know, and then I realized that when so then my husband and I moved back into the, when we moved to L A and that was a really huge adjustment period because I’m here thinking I’m this like Godly woman super enlightened.
27:51
I know all this stuff.
27:53
But then realizing that I haven’t actually put any of that into practice.
27:58
And when I had these arguments with my husband, I had to now not be the old version of me who is reactive, but instead remember that I’m an emotionally intelligent woman who is not going to just think about me, but I’m going to pause, I’m going to reflect, I’m going to hold space to truly listen to what he’s saying.
28:23
And actually think about things from him point of view and realize that my truth is not the only truth and he can have his own truth and I can and his truth doesn’t change my truth.
28:38
Literally, it was so expansive, it was hard work to grow my nervous system to a place where I can fully hold someone else’s reality in my own without it contradicting, without it influencing, without it affecting my own truth.
28:56
Yes.
28:57
Can we double down on that a little bit?
28:59
Because I think when I talk about like authentically expressing yourself or being your fullest express version of you, I think there is a season where you have to fully own that on your own, right?
29:07
It’s like your own world.
29:08
It’s like you’re doing this for yourself.
29:09
But there is a difference in knowing how to do that when you’re relating to someone because to what you said your exact words, like you have your truth, they have their truth and both truths are real, right?
29:20
They’re both valid.
29:21
They’re both different realities.
29:22
And it’s like, how do you hold space for your own reality as well as being able to have that ability to listen to someone else’s reality and be in it without taking it personally without making it about them, without judging them for it.
29:38
Comparing your guys’ selves.
29:40
Literally being able to say this is my reality.
29:43
This is your reality.
29:44
And how do I, how do I look at them as like they’re both true, not just, not just his.
29:50
So how do you actually do that?
29:52
And how have you done that in your relationship?
29:54
Yeah.
29:54
It’s something we do constantly, every single time we have differences in how we see something I have to, we’re doing a lot better job now, but we’re still work where it’s like we’re about to get into an argument and then I’m like, oh, wait a minute, this is so pointless because we’re never going to get on the same page.
30:14
Like you’re allowed to think about something your way and I’m allowed to think about something my way.
30:18
So in the beginning though, it was really hard because I felt like, am I with the wrong person?
30:24
Like, is it supposed to be compatibility and chemistry and all this stuff that we see on social media where it’s like, oh if it’s like taking you out from being your highest self, it’s not the right relationship for you and things like that.
30:39
And, and I had to sit with that and be like, is this my truth or is this just someone else’s truth and really be like, does my husband take me out from being my highest self when he disagrees with me?
30:54
Does he bring out a side of me that I don’t like a not self version of me?
31:02
Or is he simply expressing his truth and sharing what he wants to share?
31:07
And the reaction that is putting me out of myself is from my own wounding that I still have yet to explore so much nuance, so much exploration, so much, you need so much space to really process all of the things that are coming up and assess and not take action based on your initial reaction.
31:29
Like I’m a projector and I need three days to decide on big major decisions.
31:34
I’m a projector too.
31:36
Oh my gosh, of course you are.
31:37
That’s, that is insane.
31:40
That’s so funny.
31:41
Everything you just said was so great because I think, but I think to add to that too, there’s a sense of discernment that has to happen that but you have to go through experiences to be able to discern.
31:52
All right, which part of me is wounded?
31:54
Which part of me is being reactive?
31:56
Is this affecting my highest self?
31:58
Is this pulling me away from places out of alignment?
32:01
What does that actually look like?
32:02
And I think like you just said, Instagram, social media like sorry fuck with us.
32:07
Like it literally craves expectations and stories about what relationships should look like, even if someone binary in my face.
32:16
Well, it’s so binary and it’s also so rigid, but it’s difficult for someone, you know, most people in our world, right?
32:22
They want A plus B equals C, right?
32:23
They want the answers, they want it to be very much like OK, this is my situation.
32:29
So this is how I need to do it.
32:30
And every time I would personally work with clients, I’d be like, I can’t tell you that A plus B equals C.
32:35
We have to figure out what your unique equation is because your unique equation is so different than the other relationships.
32:41
But people think that relationship looks a certain way and that it has to be a certain way and that’s where we get caught up.
32:48
But you’re talking so much about stepping into this spiritually embodied fully expressive woman that can be with all parts of themselves and still hold true to what their truth is for your relationship.
33:02
Yeah.
33:02
I think relational grows is the greatest spiritual journey that you’re ever going to go on.
33:08
I think we can have a lot of self awareness, a lot of growth in therapy and when you’re single and it’s a beautiful time to have your single season.
33:18
But when you’re in a relationship, you’re going to see that you thought you were healed.
33:22
But in reality, the real work starts once you’re in an intimate relationship with someone else in a beautiful way and it’s super fun when you’re with the right person who understands conscious relationships and they understand that, ok, sometimes you’re going to get triggered and be reactive.
33:39
But as long as you hold yourself accountable and come back to the place of vulnerability and honesty, you can get through anything.
33:46
But if you’re the type of person who’s thinks that your truth is the only truth and you’re this spiritually evolved person.
33:53
And anyone outside of that is low vibe and low vibrational and you know this and that you’re never going to grow in the way that your soul came here to grow, which is to be in relation with others and have harmony, peace and joy with two completely different contradictory things.
34:12
That’s the growth that we’re here for.
34:14
Yeah.
34:15
Yeah.
34:15
The other thing that comes up as you’re talking about that, I think that was something that would be super supportive.
34:19
And you tell me what you think in someone being able to do that is like having a full understanding for their own wounding.
34:27
And then realizing that the other person on the other side also has their own because I think you get to a place of like, well, I want to be understood.
34:35
I’m like the other person on the other side of this also wants to be understood.
34:38
Like I see so many other couples that quote unquote are aware are conscious but they still miss each other because they’re holding some sense of standard that’s gonna keep them safe from their own wounding.
34:50
And they don’t feel safe with themselves though.
34:51
They projecting that onto someone else.
34:53
But I think if you can see that the other person is also coming from a place of wounding also has programming also has ancestor and all these things.
35:03
It’s like, oh wait, there’s two human beings in this relationship trying to heal.
35:10
It’s like they’re also trying to work through that too.
35:12
Yeah.
35:12
And the patriarchy in the system is completely against men too, which is something that I keep being reminded of when my husband’s like, babe, it’s not just you, like, it’s not just against the women.
35:24
Like, and then he starts to share his experiences of like not being able to be vulnerable, not having a friend that he can even share his emotions with where it’s like lame to talk about your feelings and talk about what you’re going through in the real world when you hang out with the guys over beer.
35:40
You know what I mean?
35:41
Like men don’t have a lot of safe spaces and I think women do now have more safe spaces and I think it’s time for us to or fully into ourselves, lean into our communities when we need that support for ourselves.
35:56
But now I think as a sovereign woman who wants to be a good partner for a husband, it’s time and it’s time for the men to heal and not to say that we’re responsible for the healing and do not let them like trauma dump or emotional like dump onto you.
36:10
You’re not coaches or not therapists, but you can encourage them to go to therapy and you can hold space for them to share what they experience in therapy without absorbing that and holding yourself responsible to fix them.
36:24
What’s your perspective?
36:25
I love that and I listen to that.
36:27
But what’s your perspective on this like movement where like I don’t call it movement, but everyone talks about polarity in a relationship and how like masculine men, like everyone feels so much more safer being in a masculine relationship.
36:38
But then in my opinion, when, let’s say our men go through hard times too.
36:43
How do you navigate that in your relationship?
36:46
Because like you said, they’re human too, they also have their shit that comes up and they’re even more limited on resources to create spaces.
36:55
So how does it feel?
36:57
How would you navigate that in relationship if yeah, there is this whole thing about how you really want masculine men.
37:03
You want them to always be the safe container, the holder.
37:06
I get that and they’re human.
37:09
You know, gosh, I’m so guilty of this.
37:11
Like there were moments where I’ve been like, you’re not being a man, you’re like, why can you be more manly and oh, cringe at that now, right?
37:22
Where I didn’t have the awareness that I do now that men are struggling in their own way.
37:29
And it’s important for us.
37:31
I think the purpose of marriage now is how can we both be fully expressed authentic selves in our own world?
37:41
How can I support you in becoming that version of you?
37:44
How can you support me in becoming that version of me?
37:46
It’s our own responsibility to do that and be that for ourselves.
37:50
But relationships can help and make it more fun, make the journey more joyful and playful and expressive.
37:58
But at the end of the day, like my man knows that he is responsible for his emotional growth.
38:05
I’m responsible for my emotional growth and we create these containers and these safe spaces for us to, to express without judgment without being like, well and without advice, like literally just hold space and share.
38:21
Sometimes he’s like going through something and he doesn’t even want to talk about it and he’ll be like, oh babe, can you just like rub my back tonight?
38:27
Like I’m just overwhelmed, right?
38:29
Like being able to communicate what you need in the moment, being able to not judge and think that the other person should be perfect all the time.
38:37
And I think that happens because we expect ourselves speak perfect all the time.
38:40
So it’s a perfectionist wound that women have of like, oh, I can’t allow myself to break down.
38:48
So I’m not going to let my man break down, right?
38:50
Like the more we accept about ourselves, the more feelings that we accept of ourselves, the more emotions, the more deeper we go in our own world.
38:56
It makes it easier to realize that oh, that person must also be going through all this stuff.
39:03
So let me hold space for them too.
39:05
Yeah, that the projection that we do as women, you know, I think I’ve definitely done that before.
39:12
I think I’ve done it in different ways.
39:14
You know, where I’ve been like, well, I can, I have this much capacity.
39:18
Why don’t you have this much capacity like I can execute this as much and you execute in this way or you look like this and you look like that.
39:25
It’s just because I’m holding myself to such a high standard that I’m expecting them to also show up at that same exact standard.
39:32
And it’s like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I can’t be projecting that onto them because they’re, they have their own stuff, they have to show up their own way.
39:39
But it’s, it’s you gotta catch that in yourself of how much you’re projecting on them, them to be like what you think they should be versus who you pay what they are on their own and just loving them at that.
39:52
And also because I think at end of the day as women, that’s exactly what we want to, right?
39:57
Like we want to be fully loved for who we are not who we’re expected to be.
40:01
And that’s just like a cultural race at our marathon that I feel like everyone’s always fighting up against.
40:07
But if we can learn how to love ourselves as we be, not as who we think we should be.
40:13
Isn’t it funny how that exactly mirrors and interconnects with manifestation too?
40:19
Because like the more we try to want, the more we want something and the more we have the expectation of getting it and working towards it, the further it gets from you and the more you sur there into the full knowingness that well, I manifested it.
40:37
They’ll come when it comes in divine timing, same with relationship.
40:41
I let them know what I want and I need, I am surrendering into me being that version of me.
40:48
They may take some time getting there but they will if you just hold true to knowing that you’re worthy of all the things that you and desire and you’re not jumping into that mother energy where you’re controlling and manipulating and trying to get them to be a certain way.
41:04
What is that?
41:04
You talked a little bit about manifestation.
41:06
I know you love talking about manifestation.
41:08
How can someone start to?
41:11
I mean, we talked a lot about it.
41:12
But what would be the key thing to helping someone manifest the the life, the relationship that they’re asking for?
41:19
Shadow work?
41:21
Yes louder.
41:23
Oh I think that the way I work, right?
41:25
This is how I manifest.
41:27
I have an intention.
41:28
I set it.
41:28
I write about it.
41:30
I put it away.
41:31
What happens is the universe then mirrors things within me that need to be activated or looked at and healed in order for me to get into alignment with the version of me that has that manifestation.
41:42
So sometimes it has nothing to do with the actual manifestation.
41:45
Sometimes it’s like an inner child wound or feeling of abandonment or not feeling worthy.
41:51
And I will literally have life experiences that are testing how worthy do I really think I am.
41:58
How confident am I really?
42:01
How ready am I in order for that manifestation to come in and that manifestation won’t come in until you’re ready.
42:08
You can know that you’re worthy.
42:09
You can be prepared.
42:11
You could do all the things.
42:12
But if you still have an energetic block in your chakra system, which is the shadow work that we do is the alchemy of those wounds.
42:20
It’s not, you’re not going to be in the frequency of that manifestation so good.
42:25
It’s like how I’ve talked about on this podcast.
42:28
Every single time I step into something more like, it’s like almost my biggest contractions.
42:33
All my shit comes up, it’s like tenfold and it’s like, whoa, whoa, whoa, just expanding you.
42:38
So you can work through this one.
42:40
I think it’s creating the, the ability resilience capacity to be in that messy shadows that you’re talking about.
42:46
But you gotta be willing to step in the shadows.
42:48
But every single time that you want something, it’s like universe God.
42:51
Everything will be like, all right, you want this, we gotta work through all this other stuff.
42:55
There’s like chaos that you’re not paying attention to because you want this thing because you’re manifesting this intention.
43:01
And I don’t know if you’ve noticed this but have you let me know if you haven’t?
43:06
But usually the thing that you need to heal is the exact thing that you need when you do step into that version of you, of you have an experience with a boss or a colleague or a mentor or something.
43:19
And it’s the that mirror of the wound that you needed to heal in order to step into this version of you and rewind.
43:25
I mean, even in my just like evolution of my career, right?
43:28
Like this career attunement that I’m stepping into like being a professional speaker, I want to be a speaker for five years.
43:34
Like, I mean, honestly, since I was probably 15, like if you ask my best friend, and it’s so funny how I’ve witnessed my own journey, I’ve had to heal all these other things before that became even more of a reality.
43:45
But there was like these like steps along the way.
43:48
And so it’s like universe God gives you every new thing to heal and like shadow work as the intention becomes different or evolves its shift in the direction that you were always meant to be.
44:00
It’s just, it has its, to me, I’ve always experienced, it has its own way, not the way that I think it’s supposed to get there.
44:07
100%.
44:08
Yeah.
44:08
Divine timing, divine all of it, right?
44:11
It’s just like the more you surrender to the how the easier it becomes to get to where you want to go.
44:18
And it goes back to like what we were saying earlier about when I had my season of being fully in my feminine.
44:23
I didn’t know how I was going to become the woman I am today.
44:27
And if I focus too much on the how I wouldn’t be here, the feminine cannot be learned.
44:34
She has to be felt and she has to be experienced and she has to, you have to just simply create space for the feminine to work through you the way she wants to, the more you try to come at it from an analytical way or a framework or a strategy or a course or what have you, you’re going to learn somebody else’s way of doing the feminine.
44:56
But the feminine is here to be expressed in 8 billion different ways in each and every single human in its uniqueness.
45:06
Something that when I saw this journey, you know, I was that typical analytical.
45:10
I was like, OK, I know this is my blue pri these are the things I need to heal and I would attack 11 by one and like thinking that OK, I’m going to attack it this way and I was that it had turned into like, well, I’m gonna search for the thing that I need to fix and then it turned into like I’m just gonna be with whatever my day to day shows me as needs to be healed versus me aly looking and searching and seeking to fix something.
45:35
Because if I the quote unquote, more healed that I got or the more fixed I got, the more blah, blah, blah spiritual I got and more whatever.
45:42
But to what you’re talking about, so much of the feminine and trusting and surrendering that in your day to day, you will get the whispers, the nudges the, the knocks on the door for what needs to be worked on at that point in your journey, not what you think needs to be healed because it’s often so different than what you think it is.
46:01
And it’s usually of us, it’s just that we’re so in our masculine and trying to make logic of it like you said, make sense of it versus just listening.
46:11
And so I know to be like, all right, this is what it is.
46:13
This is where I’m going with it, you know, and living like we’re here to live, we’re not here to just heal.
46:19
We’re not here to just like reach this destiny, like we’re here to enjoy the whole journey of the human experience, the ebbs and flows of life.
46:29
Like that’s how you actually embody enlightenment.
46:32
So good.
46:33
I love that.
46:35
Well, it has been such a pleasure having you on this podcast and I would love to learn, know how can anyone learn from you, connect with you and also what are your offerings like?
46:46
Tell them how they can work with you if you ever want if they ever feel called to you.
46:51
Yeah.
46:52
Thank you.
46:53
I do have Shakti Society, which is my 12 month mentorship to journey the sacred feminine and then allow yourself to rise and shine as your most authentic self, whether that is through building a platform for being a writer or a speaker or a podcast host, whatever road you take, this is the mentorship for you if you want to learn how to do the energy work so that you can unlock your authentic code and be magnetic A F.
47:22
And then I do have my one on one containers as well.
47:24
I have a three month mentorship where we get really deep into whatever is blocking you so that you can have the tools and the strategies to unlock your highest self.
47:36
What else do I have?
47:37
My, my podcast thriving in love.
47:39
I literally just like hit record and start channeling.
47:43
So you never know what you’re going to get.
47:44
It’s fun and I love it and it’s like my pride and joy to fully express whatever I have on my mind.
47:51
And then my Instagram, Sanna Akan, I’d love to talk to you guys in the D MS if you’re interested in chat.
47:57
Thank you so much.
47:58
I would love one last question is, what is your fullest expression, fullest express version of you look like this year.
48:08
I am working on my book.
48:11
So once I have my book deal and I’m on stages and that’s going to be like the thing that I’m working on this, for sure.
48:19
Amazing.
48:20
I love that so much.
48:21
Well, thank you so much for being on my podcast and I’ll be here supporting you from a distance.
48:26
I can’t wait to meet you fully in person coming up here.
48:30
So everyone know you’ll probably see us on Instagram.
48:32
Wow, this was such a great conversation and thank you so so much.
48:36
Oh, my gosh.
48:37
Thanks for holding the space for it.

Connect With Sana:

Full Transcript0:00
Welcome to the fully expressed podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I am your podcast host, Karenna Soto.
0:05
This is the show where we have conversations that invite you into living a life, fully expressed, really creating relationships and finding relationships where you feel like your most authentic selves, what it looks like to show up in your career and your business as you foolish expression.
0:21
I truly believe that we are here to constantly evolve and be a part of our own personal evolution.
0:27
And the part of that is fully expressing all parts of you, bringing all parts of you to the table in every room, every relationship, every aspect of your life and whatever that looks like and giving yourself permission to be fully you, which is such a gift in and really owning this fool you.
0:48
And today’s episode, we’re going to do a little solo session with me and we’re going to talk all about what it means to go first, what it means to be the first.
0:58
And this is such an important conversation because I think more and more of you that are listening to this are finding yourselves as probably one of the first or potentially some of the first that is taking the first steps to do life a little bit differently, to do things a little bit differently than your family, to do things a little bit differently than your community.
1:16
A little bit differently than your friends to do things a little bit differently than what your religion might have looked like.
1:22
And finding that out for yourself.
1:24
If you’re listening to this podcast, if you haven’t had a chance, there’s been some really good episodes released.
1:30
So make sure you go back.
1:31
We had a spiritual psychologist, Casey Stevens on the call with us on the show with us just a couple weeks ago.
1:39
And it was incredible.
1:41
I love that she was able to blend and harmonize the two worlds of spirituality and Western worlds, which I really think that, you know, our fullest expressed selves is a part of what our spiritual self is here to do.
1:54
And so really having her on the podcast was such a such a delight.
1:58
And then we had Sarah Baker on the conversation who also blends the worlds of coaching and therapy.
2:04
And there is this pattern that’s happening where people, people are saying that there is a blend of everything.
2:09
And I truly believe in that.
2:11
I really believe in duality.
2:12
I really believe in.
2:13
Yes.
2:13
And, and there’s just so much power in finding the secret ingredients that make the secret sauce to your life.
2:20
And you can tell from those two practitioners that they have found the benefits of what we get to learn today in our modern day.
2:27
But they’re also bringing the benefits and the lessons and the key takeaways and the practices from all of these other healing modalities.
2:36
And so if you haven’t had a chance to listen to those, I really, really recommend that you take a chance to listen to those episodes, whether you’re someone that is open to learning more about yourself, you know, maybe you’re wanting the permission to blend worlds, maybe you are really on this search of really finding what it means to be fully expressed and all those different podcast episodes were just so solid.
2:57
So make sure you go back and listen to those and then upcoming.
3:00
We have some really juicy episodes with just a few guests that are going to be one of them is one of my really good friends.
3:07
There’s a new internet friend that I just met and her energy and I are just so good and we’re actually going to meet in L A soon and I can’t wait to have her on the podcast.
3:17
So there’s just so much that’s coming up.
3:19
And again, if you find this podcast helpful, please share it with a friend, invite your friends into these rooms.
3:26
You know, sometimes all it takes is someone inviting and then that person will take your hand and move it forward and you know, this, this podcast is so much about you finding your way, your unique way, whatever your authentic blueprint looks like, whatever your authentic secret sauce ingredients look like they’re meant to be here in this world.
3:47
And that is a lot of what this podcast is meant to tell.
3:50
Everyone is meant to invite people into your most foolish expressed self as you’re living this life into your personal evolution.
3:59
So, thank you so much for being here.
4:01
So let’s dive into the episode where we get to talk about what it means to be first.
4:05
And this is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately and, and the reason I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately is because I feel like I’ve every, every new level that I step into, if you want to say, I hate calling them levels, but that’s what it feels like these, these upgrades that I go through or these seasons of optimizing and stepping into more and being been wanting to play bigger and the more that I own my most authentic self, the closer that I get to realizing what’s meant for me and the more that I practice leading into what’s meant for me and feel more confident in doing that, there’s always these, these underlying fears and that come up in every, every level that I play.
4:45
And I think this is just a part of the personal evolution game that we’re here to play, right?
4:50
This is a part of life, every chapter looks a little bit differently and people are going through it in different ways.
4:56
And so what does it mean to go first?
4:58
And the way that I like to describe it is like, you know, maybe, are you the first to, to want things differently in your friend group?
5:05
Are you one of the first want to do things differently in your family?
5:08
Are you one of the first who want to do differently than your community?
5:12
So maybe you’re in a community of moms, maybe you’re in a community of single people, maybe you’re in the community of single dads.
5:19
And what does that look like or whatever that looks like whatever community you associate yourself with, like, maybe you want to start doing things differently because the way that you say that things are they’re doing, it might not be the way that you want to do it or what’s working for you or you see a better way or you see a different way to optimize your process.
5:38
This can also look like being first in your culture, being first in your religion, being the first in your family, being the first among your brothers and sisters, being the first around women being the first around men.
5:53
I mean, there’s so much about being first and I think we can all relate to this in so many different ways.
5:58
It’s just if you’re listening to this podcast on some, on some wavelength like you truly believe that there’s more for you.
6:05
You are definitely curious of what that actually looks like.
6:08
You are wanting to step into the most authentically expressed version of you.
6:13
And in doing that, you know, the parts of you that want to keep you where you’re at are, are going to play a part.
6:21
And one of that is the desire to stay connected and the desire to belong.
6:25
And when you are going first, you’re challenging a lot of that.
6:29
You are, you’re putting on the table, the risk of no longer belonging in the rooms that you’re in, no longer belonging in the relationships that you’re in, no longer belonging in the communities that you’re in in the way that you relate to them today.
6:43
And so you’re, there’s going to be a shift in that.
6:47
And before I even tell you how to work through all that, I want, I want you to imagine when you know what is possible is every time you do break through these up levels, these chains and want to step into more for you.
7:03
You attract a whole new community in that, right?
7:07
The rooms look differently, the relationships look differently, the standard that you are holding, looks differently and it tends to meet you in that.
7:15
But you got to be willing to and to take that risk to step into that, to step into wanting to play bigger, to be in different rooms, to be in different stages to relate differently in your relationships, what that is with family and religion.
7:30
And there’s a sense of curiosity, but no one really talks so much about the process of shedding the parts of you that are scared to no longer belong in this cozy lifestyle.
7:43
I have experienced this over and over and over again with every new version that I want to step into.
7:50
And, you know, as I look back at the past versions of me, there’s past versions of me that I didn’t like, there’s past versions of me that I truly admire and there’s, there’s past versions of me that I miss and the most current versions of me feel the most me and in doing that, you know, I had to be willing to let go of the past versions of me.
8:11
But that also meant let go of the past connected parts of me.
8:16
And what is the parts of my world, the parts of my community, how I’m relating to life, how I’m doing life like there is this sense of being able to let that go.
8:26
And in the past, what I have done when I first started stepping into truly evolving and wanting to find who I was.
8:35
You know, I really leaned in on my mindset and my willpower.
8:39
I leaned into my power and my strength and I was like, your girl is going to push herself through this because I am better than that.
8:48
And I just used my internal willpower, but I didn’t necessarily get all the parts of me on board.
8:54
I just didn’t know how to embody that experience.
8:56
I wasn’t really curious with the fears.
8:58
I wasn’t curious with what was coming up for me.
9:01
I didn’t know how to step into those newer versions of me without being unattached without getting hurt.
9:08
And I just pushed through those experiences and what I have learned in doing that is as much as mindset and and is such an important fact to transformation.
9:18
I also truly know that there is this special embodiment that comes along with it.
9:23
And the hard part is when you are starting to take things more slow and you want to take a much more integrated approach to your transformation is that there is a sense of deep grieving that comes from grieving.
9:36
The old parts of you life hack that changed my life, start dancing every single day.
9:43
So what does this actually mean?
9:45
I’m saying?
9:46
Get up and start dancing, find music that tunes into the frequency of where you’re at.
9:56
Honestly, you can also use this as a way to dance to music that you want to feel into dance.
10:04
Dance more in your life.
10:06
This is going to thematically, allow you to release emotions, get energy moving.
10:10
But it also just brings so much aliveness to your life.
10:13
If you add more dancing into your life, trust me, life is going to change.
10:18
Do this.
10:19
Thanks for listening.
10:21
It’s so much easier to run a million miles an hour and not be with those different parts of you.
10:25
But they do end up catching up to you.
10:27
And I have felt that in different ways and as I’ve been stepping into bigger versions of me, I’ve been like, truly grieving my life today.
10:36
What does that actually look like grieving the community that I’ve built grieving all of this and the way that I realize that it’s not that I’m necessarily grieving it and saying goodbye, it’s just, I’m stepping into a new life that I want to step into.
10:52
And, you know, you know, being first in that comes with a lot that we don’t talk about and that’s what I really want to talk about on this episode today is, is really diving deep into what does it look like to go first?
11:05
And so as you’re going first, the very first thing that you’re going to have is an idea.
11:10
You’re going to have an idea of where you want to go.
11:12
There’s going to be something that admire that you are attracted to.
11:15
There is going to be something that you look at someone and you’re like, oh, I’m so inspired that they do that or that they see the life in this way or maybe you read something and you’re like, oh, this is very interesting.
11:26
So it starts with an idea.
11:28
It starts with a thought.
11:30
It starts with an admiration.
11:32
It starts with some sense of excitement.
11:34
And then after you hear the excitement, after you hear the, oh my gosh, I really want to go after that or I really want to lean in this way or I really want that or I really want to do things differently.
11:45
Then all the what ifs and the buts come in, you know?
11:48
Well, what if this person looks at me differently for leaving in this?
11:53
What if someone looks at me differently for wanting to step into this room?
11:58
What if someone looks at me differently for doing business in this way?
12:02
What if I can no longer connect with the team that I’m on?
12:06
Because the, the work that I’m doing no longer rests with me.
12:09
What if they don’t love me?
12:11
What if I don’t get to be with them anymore?
12:13
What if by me stepping into these versions of me, my friends are gonna be further away and I won’t be able to be connected with them and I no longer resonate with them because I’m no longer thinking the same things and no longer doing in the same things all of that can come up in that and those are all of the fears that we start to become aware of.
12:34
And I like to take a much more integrated approach to this.
12:37
It’s like really being with each of those truly understanding where they’re coming from, welcoming them, being with them, feeling them and almost like greening them and allowing them to move through.
12:47
And then as you start to work through that you could hold the vision to, what does it look like moving forward?
12:54
What I going to attract?
12:55
How am I going to feel?
12:56
And there’s this dance in between being with and then the vision which I’ve talked before on this podcast.
13:02
But when you are going first, you are setting the new standard.
13:05
When you are going first and doing business differently, you’re setting the new standard for yourself.
13:11
When you are going first and wanting to rate changes in your relationship, the way that you’re doing, you are creating space for a new way of doing relationship, a new way of relating when you were going first and wanting to educate your community, maybe it’s your religion, your culture, whatever that looks like and allow them to see a different perspective that they didn’t do.
13:33
You were basically creating space.
13:36
You were saying that, hey, you guys are all in this box.
13:39
But what if we were to step out of the box?
13:41
What if we could make the box bigger?
13:43
What if we could actually be?
13:44
There’s no limits, no boundaries in that.
13:47
And in doing that, you are challenging the perspectives, the beliefs, the way that someone does something, the way that they seek comfort, the way that they, that they find it quote unquote successful to their lives today.
14:01
And so there is this sense of you are up against battle.
14:04
You are creating the new standard and I don’t know what it is about that, that it’s so inspiring that you can make that box bigger that you can create the space for more.
14:16
And in that, you also got to get comfortable with the fact that you are taking space for that you are welcoming, that you’re wanting to set the tone.
14:26
You are wanting to show people that there is another way.
14:29
And even if it’s not for other people, you are showing yourself that there is another way.
14:35
You are creating space for the limits and the boundaries and the capacity that you have internally.
14:41
You are stepping into new steps that you’ve never taken, you are putting on new shoes that you’ve never put on before you are wearing different clothing.
14:52
They can all look, these are all symbols of what I’m talking about.
14:57
And it’s like, well, why do we want to go first?
15:00
And the biggest thing that I always come back to is like, are you doing it for everyone else or are you doing it for you?
15:05
And if you’re doing it for you, that’s all that matters because your, well being your personal evolution, your fullest expression, the way you want to show up in your life, whatever whisper is that God gives you or whatever doors come knocking, they’re not knocking on everyone else’s door, they’re knocking on your, it wants you to listen to it, the ideas that come through.
15:33
Yes, there’s going to be ideas that float through that you just take note of.
15:37
But the ideas that constantly come back, they’re the ones that you want to listen to.
15:43
They’re the ones that are going to lead you to that next step.
15:45
They’re the ones that are going to lead you to that next path.
15:48
The next part of your journey that you don’t even know it’s there yet.
15:52
And there’s so much excitement in that.
15:55
There’s so much beauty in that.
15:57
There’s so much thrill and adventure in that and so much possibilities for you.
16:03
It’s just the willing to go first.
16:05
And so if you’re listening to this, whether it’s the willing to go first in these bigger spaces with community relationships, family and so on, it’s also the willing to go first for yourself.
16:17
It’s the willing to go first for yourself, for you, for no one else.
16:22
Who else are you doing this for?
16:23
It’s your expansion.
16:25
It’s your evolution, it’s your life.
16:29
We have one life in this world, you guys.
16:31
And I constantly think about this all the time.
16:33
And I think to myself when I get to that point in my life where I transition out of this world, do I want to feel like I lived fully that I brought every part of me to the table that I express myself in every way.
16:50
And I leaned to every challenge and I felt the reward of doing hard things and being the first.
17:00
Do I feel complete in that and whatever that looks like for you?
17:04
And truthfully when I get to that point, I want to feel so fulfilled.
17:08
The number one thing that you hear from people right before their deathbed, they say, I wish I didn’t work as much, but I lived more.
17:16
There’s always, I wish, I wish and I want to get to a point where I’m like I did it all.
17:20
I did everything I felt called to.
17:22
I don’t have anything.
17:23
I wish I feel complete and unpleasant and I’m happy I lived fully, I brought myself fully to this life.
17:30
I brought myself fully to my relationships.
17:32
I brought myself fully to my family.
17:34
I brought myself fully to what I was meant to do on this earth.
17:38
And this is a part of what it means to go first.
17:42
You’ve got to be willing to go first.
17:44
And so being first holds a sense of responsibility and it holds one of the most beautiful artistic, creative, ecstatic expansions and growth and spiritual connection to God, the divine, the source, whatever that is by allowing yourself to go first to put yourself out there and going first.
18:10
So go first for you, for your personal volition, for your soul, for the life that you were given on this earth.
18:18
That is what God gave us the gift to do.
18:21
He didn’t say, hey, come to earth and be like, stick yourself.
18:25
And this is what you’re going to be like he said, evolve, experience, explore adventure, be willing to connect, find presents.
18:33
All of that requires you giving yourself permission to go first.
18:38
You giving yourself permission to be fully you, you giving parts of yourselves all of the permission to go first.
18:45
And in that you will find a sense of fulfillment, intent, satisfaction, present grace, love for you.
18:57
And I got tears in my eyes to thinking about it because the love that you continue to pour into yourself and every part of you that is so present is the love that will not only overflow through you, but it’s the love and the celebration and the encouragement and the presence that you will share with others, but you gotta learn how to do it for you.
19:24
So give yourself permission and then by that you are an invitation for others to also give themselves the permission to be first for themselves.
19:34
So thank you so much for listening today to the episode.
19:38
I also wanna invite you into joining the fully expressed community that we have online.
19:44
There is a monthly container where we meet every second Wednesday of every month at 530 pst.
19:51
It is such a great container of women.
19:55
I love our conversations.
19:57
We have taboo conversations, we feel safe with one another.
20:01
We’re exploring the edges of different topics and different guests get to come in once a quarter.
20:07
And it’s literally such a gift to be surrounded by all these women that are wanting more for themselves, are interested in exploring that for themselves, are wanting community.
20:20
And this is a virtual community that you get to tap into.
20:22
It’s like an opportunity for you to check in with yourself is an opportunity for you to connect.
20:26
It’s an opportunity for you to connect with other women that are on the same path as you.
20:31
So if you’re interested in that, send me ad m that I am kind of soto and I would love to connect to you and send you more information.
20:40
It’s only $27 a month.
20:42
So it is such an easy opportunity for you to dive in and get connected right away.
20:47
So with that being said, I hope you enjoy this week, this month and you give yourself the opportunity to go first.
20:56
So sending you lots of love into your week and thank you so much for being here.

Full Transcript0:00
Welcome to the fully expressed podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I am your podcast host, Karenna Soto.
0:05
And this is the show where we have conversations that invite you into your fullest expressed self.
0:10
What it means to be fully expressed in life, relationships and business.
0:13
We truly love to have the kinds of conversations that you’re having over dinner with some girlfriends or with just friends.
0:20
And so you’re going to get some real good conversations that teach you, invite you, educate you and provide you tools like truly living a life fully expressed.
0:28
And today’s episode is really special.
0:30
I invited a special guest onto the podcast.
0:33
Her name is Sara Baker and Sara is going to be on the podcast with us and the way that I met Sara just so you guys all know, there’s a place called, we went the first time at breathe degrees.
0:45
And so there’s a place here in San Diego called Breathe Degrees.
0:47
This is not an ad or anything like this at all.
0:50
This is just something that I’ve been going to.
0:52
So I started going to breathe degrees before he even opened up his space.
0:57
I was going to his house and backyard and I was able to like experience Tyler.
1:01
So Tyler is the owner of breathe degrees and what they do, they basically have hot and cold therapy.
1:06
So they have the cold plunges and then they have jacuzzis that you can go back and forth with.
1:11
And at their knee location, they actually have a sauna as well.
1:13
So you have a Jacuzzi, a cold plunge and the sauna and what I love about great degrees now that it has its own space.
1:20
It has created such a beautiful community of people that are in this place of wanting to do more for themselves, caring about their health, wanna do stress management, wanna push themselves to their edges are open to being like, oh what else is there for me?
1:36
That makes me feel really good in my life.
1:38
And that is exactly how I met Sarah.
1:42
We were actually sitting in the sauna, I think, and I, I had totally blank on the conversation we were having, but it was like some kind of sparky conversation, like depth conversation.
1:51
And then he came up to me afterwards, like I’d love to get to know you.
1:55
And then I saw Sara again at a breathwork event.
1:58
So I guess I say that for anyone that’s listening to this podcast episode right now is like community and people that I’ve connected with have truly come from these in person activities.
2:09
And I live in a place in San Diego that just has that so easily accessible, but it’s just such amazing people which connected me to Sarah.
2:15
So Sara is here, what I love about Sara is that you basically blend all the worlds that we talk about on this podcast, right?
2:24
So you blend therapy, you blend business and you blend coaching and spirituality and it all comes together in your practice, which I think is so important for the kinds of work that you’re doing as well as for anyone that’s end of this episode.
2:39
Because in order to lively express, it’s so much more than just one category or one way of doing things.
2:47
It’s really a blend of all the tools that are out there.
2:51
And yeah, with that being said, I’m going to pass it over to Sarah, let her introduce herself, but she’s just such a gem and so amazing.
2:58
So I’m so excited for you guys get to learn from her today.
3:00
Thanks so much for having me today.
3:02
I’m so excited to be here and yeah, I’m Sara and I am a, I’m a wellness entrepreneur and I’ve started two amazing businesses that really encompass all of the things that Kano was talking about from all of the holistic aspects of healing.
3:18
I have a holistic therapy clinic where I get to mentor some amazing clinicians as they work with incredible clients and expand their journey and expand their tools that clinicians and bringing in more of a holistic approach to therapy.
3:32
And then I also have a professional coaching company where I get to work on business and mindset mindset more specifically with women entrepreneurs and helping them to expand their business and remove blocks mental and emotional blocks and get more connected with their purpose and their spiritual connection so that they can have an amazing business along with a life that they absolutely love.
3:53
So that’s what I’m all about and bringing all of these things together with breath work with nosis, energy, healing, all kinds of things that really just help you to expand and live fully expressed.
4:05
So good.
4:06
I absolutely love that.
4:07
Thank you so much.
4:08
And so Sarah, I’d love to learn a little bit about your journey.
4:11
Like how did you even get to a place of wanting to integrate all these different parts of yourself?
4:18
Yeah.
4:18
Yeah.
4:19
I love this question because I feel like it goes way back in my history when I was first kind of even unconsciously introduced to this kind of healing work.
4:28
It kind of started when I was really, really young and my great grandmother, she was like this kind of like new age person in a time when it was really like not a thing to be a new age.
4:40
She was really involved in the Catholic church.
4:43
And then she also had a keen interest in metaphysical work and exploring different types of spirituality.
4:49
So I remember when I was really, really young she would always have people over to the house and would be reading their cards and be doing different types of healing work with them.
4:57
And I just remember being a little girl and being curious about it and she would read my cards and all of this kind of seeped in.
5:04
And then later in life, I always had this wanting to know more about why people do what they do, why they are the way that they are, why they do what they do, why they feel what they feel.
5:16
And this led me to wanting to study psychology.
5:19
And so I had this kind of spiritual background and then that led me into psychology.
5:25
And it was really in college where I started to blend those two worlds because I was introduced to some horses on the introduction to meditation and mindfulness and the sociology of it and all kinds of things.
5:37
And that kind of opened up my world, my ideas to integrating a more holistic approach into this more traditional psychology world.
5:45
And I was really really interested in how that could help people heal and how that could help people grow just from a new fresh perspective.
5:53
So this is where it started.
5:54
And then after college, I traveled around the world, that was a big part of my spiritual awakening, traveling and just getting to experience different people and cultures and just kind of open my eyes to just different parts of the world.
6:08
So through all of those experiences, it kind of brought me back to how can I really create what I’m experiencing out there in the world?
6:16
How can I create an experience for people here to be able to experience their healing journey in a new way?
6:22
And so I went on, I became licensed as a psychotherapist.
6:26
And I had this vision to create a private practice that integrated these different approaches to therapy, bringing some traditional approaches, but then also bringing in things like meditation and sound healing and breath work and all of these incredible things.
6:40
So all of this came together in my private practice and that quickly grew, there were a lot of people who are really interested in this type of work and I knew that I wanted to keep expanding.
6:50
So I decided that I was going to open a, a bigger practice and bring in more clinicians who had a similar approach to therapy and start to mentor them a little bit and being able to expand and grow their practice with more of a holistic approach.
7:03
So it kind of came to that.
7:05
And then from there, things kept expanding for me where I can continue to study personal growth and hypnosis and ongoing breath work.
7:13
And specifically N LP, which is, it stands for Neurolinguistics programming.
7:18
And it’s really learning more about your unconscious mind and how you’re communicating with yourself and your outside world, how that’s creating a reality.
7:26
So I got to really learn how to do some, some type of neural reprogramming and bring that into the practice.
7:33
And that led me into doing more personal coaching work.
7:36
It gave me more of a kind of creative way to bring all of my tradition, all of my practices together and then be able to, to create things like retreats and group coaching programs and then start to specifically focus on business with women because it really lights me up.
7:52
And I love of empowering women and helping them to see what’s really possible for them and helping them to remove all those mental and emotional blocks.
8:00
So they can truly live out their full potential and experience who they’re meant to be in this lifetime.
8:06
So that’s kind of where I am now.
8:07
It kind of all came full circle and now I still I have the therapy practice where I get to mentor amazing clinicians and then I get to continue creating experiences that really fulfill me and light me up and you know, help other women to feel the same and experience the fullest versions of themselves.
8:23
Another life hack coming in for you today.
8:26
Did you drink water?
8:27
I know this is such a simple life hack.
8:29
But you know, when we’re so busy and life keeps going, going, we forget to drink water.
8:34
So I just wanted to kindly jump in here and remind you to drink some water because we all need more water.
8:39
And here is the tip when you’re drinking water, add some salt or add some trace minerals into your water.
8:45
So your body can fully actually absorb the water and your body can hydrate.
8:50
Thank you for listening.
8:52
I love that.
8:53
Thank you so much.
8:54
So that was the main thing and I’m so excited.
8:57
I want to peel back to the spiritual weakening that you had while you were traveling.
9:01
What does that mean?
9:01
What does that look like?
9:03
I love that question.
9:04
Yeah.
9:05
For me, it was like, I remember the first time that I was really traveling, I was studying abroad and I just, I got to experience all of these different cultures and these different people.
9:15
And it was like in that time, my mind just opened and expanded to, you know, the possibility of there being so much out there to experience and so much out there to do.
9:25
And I think before, you know, I was kind of in this little box if you will of like, you know, just knowing what I knew in the life that I had here.
9:34
And when I, when I started to travel, I started to see that there’s so much out there, like there is so much to experience so much possibility, so much potential and whatever I want my life to be, it can be.
9:45
And so I think for me that spiritual awakening was more about just knowing this limitless potential that was out there that we all have this ability to tap into and to reach and to experience this different parts of ourselves through experiences like travel.
9:59
I love that.
10:00
What does it mean to be like this limitless list?
10:02
Right.
10:03
So, so much about this podcast, we talk about like there’s more out there for you, right?
10:06
Like I want people to hear and know that there is more for them.
10:10
Like their opportunities are limitless.
10:12
You can go after the thing that you so badly want to go after and whatever that looks like for you.
10:18
I think that’s the other thing that it’s so it can be so unique and so individualized.
10:22
And then for you, like, how would you describe like tapping into that energy and what does that actually look like tapping into that energy?
10:30
You know, I think it first came from, from me just kind of being out there and being willing to explore different things, you know, just being willing to put myself in situations that were maybe unfamiliar or uncomfortable.
10:41
And I think that’s a lot of what traveled it.
10:44
And once I was in those situations, I just noticed that synchronistic things would start to happen and people would just come into my life that, you know, led me to new opportunities.
10:54
And while I was traveling, I had the opportunity to go to some really spiritual places like Machu Picchu and places that just had this really magnetic energy field that once you’re there, you can just feel that there’s some something different happening here.
11:08
There’s something that’s kind of beyond what’s explainable happening in the energy field.
11:14
And that really led me to believe that, you know, if there’s so much of this out there and there’s these places that have this magnetic energy and these people that just come into your path, like, truly anything is possible, right?
11:27
And it’s almost like, you know, when you tap into the great mysteries of life, it gets you more comfortable with knowing that there’s so much in that great mystery, right?
11:35
There’s so much that can be explored and there’s so much that you can tap into when you just start to allow yourself to receive it a little bit too and be willing to go to places that are going to show you just different things that are possible than you used to think was possible in your kind of limited old mindset.
11:52
Yeah, totally.
11:53
I love that.
11:53
You brought up Machu Picchu.
11:54
I don’t know if you know this, but I’m Peruvian.
11:56
Did we talk about this or we met?
11:59
Yeah.
12:00
So I’m Peruvian.
12:00
So I’ve gone to Machu Picchu, I think six times at this point and every single time that I’ve gone, it’s been a little bit different.
12:06
Like, obviously when I was like three and six and 12, like I had no sense of what was going on.
12:11
But like you go there and it’s different.
12:13
It’s so different.
12:14
I mean, I think also like traveling, I relate so much to because traveling has always been this way, this path to like holy cow.
12:24
What, what is this energy it like?
12:26
Plugs you into just amazing connection and there’s specific spots that just like light you up when you’re traveling.
12:34
Yeah, that was huge for me.
12:36
I held my first retreat in Peru actually.
12:40
Yeah, I’ve been to Peru twice.
12:43
I spent about a month there the first time.
12:45
And then the second time when I, when I held the retreat and it was because the first time that I went there, it was like such a deep connection to the land and just to the culture and the people and just the mystery that’s there, right?
12:57
Like my and I just felt so connected to it.
13:00
And you know, I decided to, it was a couple of years after I first traveled there to have my first retreat there.
13:05
And that was a really big moment for me because it was like, I think when I first went to Peru, it really opened my mind to possibility and to just being supported by this beautiful mystery, this different energy.
13:20
And it really gave me this kind of gave me this power to leave this corporate world that I was in at the time and pursue this dream of bringing people to beautiful magical places in the world like Peru so that they could experience this different energy which allows them to experience a different part of themselves.
13:38
So that was a really big moment for me and Peru holds a special place in my heart because of it.
13:43
Yeah.
13:43
Yeah, totally.
13:44
And I feel like something that you’re talking to like for anyone that like it’s this thing that happens when you like said, like you give yourself permission to be open to it, like doing something different that calls you in the way.
13:56
This is like, so ironic, I just posted or story on Instagram talking about this process like so simple to the point of like you just giving yourself permission to experience something and it seems like you gave yourself permission to experience this and it opened up your world and it created this opportunity of like being retreats and all these things.
14:14
But it’s like the smallest step or the smallest yes or the biggest yes can lead you to like where you’re at now.
14:21
Totally, totally.
14:22
And I think, you know, we we all are kind of conditioned to be in this like limited mindset, right?
14:27
Like we have this mindset of the world or these beliefs that were built inside of us about, you know, what’s possible or what’s real or you know, just what is and that can sometimes kind of keep us contained in this box to not be able to see what’s outside of it, right?
14:43
We’re kind of seeing through this tunnel vision all of the time.
14:45
And so if we don’t believe that magic is possible, if we don’t believe that there’s more out there or we don’t believe that, you know, there’s higher powers out there, kind of support, always supporting us no matter what we’re doing when we’re following our heart and listening to our gut and trusting our intuition, you know, that we might not receive those other knowings or that other energy or that other support from the universe.
15:08
And so, yeah, I think it’s, it is about, you know, saying yes and being willing to open up and deconstruct some of these old belief systems and some of these old programmings that we have that have kind of kept us in this tunnel vision, you know, not fully aware of what’s truly possible for us.
15:24
Yeah.
15:25
And so in that, right, like this, this box that we put ourselves in, right?
15:29
That that can come from a number of different things like society and cultural, the way that we were raised all these things, right?
15:37
What are some ways that someone can start to go through the unraveling of that and the undoing of this box that we’ve been in, right?
15:45
And like even recognizing that you’re in this box, like recognizing that you’ve kept yourself in this one place because it feels safe, it feels comfortable.
15:53
It’s what, you know, it’s no quote unquote normal, right to you and your community and the people that you belong in.
15:59
So like one is recognizing that, but two, how can someone start to take the steps towards wanting to break that box a little bit?
16:07
Like wanting to shift it up, wanting to change, make different colors of it, you know, make it look differently.
16:12
Yeah, I love that question.
16:13
And I think what’s really important first is knowing that like you didn’t consciously choose to put yourself in this box, right?
16:20
Like this is something.
16:22
Can you say that again louder?
16:23
You didn’t consciously choose to put yourself in this box?
16:27
You didn’t say, ok, these are going to be my beliefs and this is the way that I’m going to think about myself and my world.
16:32
A lot of those beliefs were created in early stages of life specifically ages 0 to 7.
16:38
When your brain is unconscious, you come into this world.
16:41
When you come into this world, you don’t know what love is or anger is or anything is.
16:46
Your brain comes into this world almost like this.
16:49
It’s like a sponge and it starts to pick up on everything that you’re hearing, everything you’re being told, everything that you’re seeing.
16:57
And this is starting to create your default belief system on the world.
17:01
You see certain expressions of love and anger and then that becomes your version of what love and anger is, right?
17:07
And then you see or you’re told certain things, right?
17:10
Like, you know, maybe things like, you know, you’re not good enough or not worthy and sometimes really insignificant things can happen that cause us to think certain things about ourselves or our world.
17:21
And this again starts to create our belief system about the world.
17:24
We don’t, we’re not consciously choosing it.
17:26
Then our brain is un, it’s just soaking it up.
17:29
And then we turn seven and these start to become our belief systems and we start to see the world through them, they go unconscious.
17:36
So we’re no longer aware that this was happening or that they’re there.
17:39
They’re just how we start to see the world, think about the world view the world.
17:44
So a lot of that is, it’s like installed, it’s these programmings that are installed inside of us and we all have it.
17:50
We all have different versions of reality.
17:53
And I think that’s one of the first ways to start deconstructing this box that we put ourselves in or unconsciously put ourselves in is the first step is really starting to become aware, one that we’re in this box and that we all have our own versions of reality and knowing that our perception creates our reality, right?
18:10
So really, really understanding that the way that we think about the world, what we believe, what we see that is creating our reality.
18:18
And when we’re seeing it through old belief systems or through old things that are kind of limiting us, that’s creating our reality right now, even if those belief systems were installed along long time ago.
18:29
If we’re not aware of this or that we’re in this box or that this is what’s causing us to see the world a certain way, we’re going to think that this is just the way that life is.
18:38
This just is reality when really it’s our perception, creating the reality.
18:43
And we have this opportunity to start changing the way that we see the world so that we can change the results that we get too.
18:49
Because when we perceive the world differently, when we see it differently, when we think about it differently, we feel differently about it, our emotions are different and then we behave differently and then we get different results in the world, right?
19:00
So starting to become aware of, you know that we’re even in this box and that this box is creating our current version reality and we can start to deconstruct it one first just by becoming aware of it.
19:12
Then once you’re aware of it, right?
19:14
Once you’re aware of it, you’ve got to get into this place where you really want to be at.
19:18
Cause for your life, you want to be the cause of how your life goes instead of being the effect of it, right?
19:25
Where when you’re the effect of it, that’s when you’re more in the victim mindset.
19:28
That’s when you’re more like life is just happening to me.
19:31
Everything’s falling on top of me.
19:33
I’m just a pawn in this game of life, I feel like I have no control about it over it.
19:37
And you’re pointing the finger outside of yourself, you’re blaming and complaining and all this stuff, right?
19:42
And you feel like you don’t have any control over it, but you’ve got to be willing to get to cause for everything in your life because when you’re at cause you’re in an empowered place and it doesn’t mean that you cause all these negative things outside of you to happen.
19:56
What it does mean is that when you’re at cause for everything in your life, that means that you have the opportunity to change it, to control it, to respond or react to things differently.
20:06
And this is going to move you into a more empowered place in how you’re dealing with the world, right?
20:11
So you’re becoming aware of your beliefs and then you’re like, OK, I’m gonna, I’m gonna be a cause I’m going to take responsibility for these beliefs that I have, right?
20:18
I could blame, you know, my parents for saying certain things to me when I was young or putting me through certain situations, you know, we’ve all had those.
20:26
But if I do that, then I’m, then I’m the victim.
20:28
I’m saying that all of these things that happened to me or my parents have control over the way that I feel right now.
20:34
And that’s absolutely not true because the truth is no one can make you feel any kind of way, right?
20:40
It’s the way that you’re thinking about a situation that makes you feel the way that you feel, right?
20:44
When you take this opportunity to get, to cause to be empowered, to choose to be empowered in the way that you think about your life, you start to change your perception on reality and then you can start to deconstruct some of these old belief systems that were, you know, maybe once supported you or once helped you at some point in your life, but are now maybe holding you back or limiting you, right?
21:07
So you can take an empowered stance and start to start to deconstruct them and then tools that I found that really, really help to deconstruct them because, you know, affirmations are one thing and they can be really, really great.
21:17
And sometimes that’s just the conscious mind kind of stacking some positive things on top of each other, which can be really great.
21:24
We also really want to work with the unconscious part of the brain and start to move some of the beliefs at that level because that’s where all of our stuff is stuck.
21:32
That’s what’s kind of controlling our perceptions and the way that we’re thinking about reality.
21:36
So when you work with that part of the brain, you really start to get to the root of where these problems are and you get to uproot it from the core so that you create some long lasting deep change.
21:47
And I love things like hypnosis and breath work and a specific technique that I use called mental and emotional release that really helps to change the neural pathways and create new beliefs at that unconscious level.
22:00
So that’s the new reality that you start to see.
22:03
You automatically start to see through them and, and you change it from a deep level.
22:06
Yeah.
22:07
Yeah, I was, thank you for that.
22:08
I was going to ask, you know, what does it really look like to shift that?
22:11
Because for anyone that’s listening, you know, I feel like especially when you’ve been doing this work for a long time or you’ve been in this practice for a really long time, you’ve gone to therapy for years, you know, you’ve talked it out, you’ve done all these things you can get in this part of like I’m so self aware of my patterns.
22:28
Like I know why I’m doing the things I’m doing.
22:30
I know me very, very well.
22:32
But then when let’s say you come up against a situation and your system just takes over, right?
22:39
Like kind of goes into automatic response of like, oh this thing happened and now this is how I react.
22:46
Like this could be, I talk so much about navigating conflict.
22:49
For example, when hard conversations come up, emotions are involved, vulnerability, all these things come up, you know, it’s so hard, it can be difficult to, oh, I know I need to show up this way.
23:00
You know, I need to be, I want to be grounded.
23:03
I want to be I want to make sure I ask compassionate questions.
23:07
You know, I want to be curious, I don’t want to be defensive.
23:10
I want to be open like that energy, right?
23:12
That different energy.
23:13
And you kind of started talking to this, but can you share a little bit more of like what it actually is like to shift those moments when things are like really tough, you know, where things are really hard, all your emotions are coming up and how do you work through that on an unconscious level?
23:27
Such a great question and can be such a big question.
23:31
So I’ll try to, you know, kind of condense it in a really, yeah, well, way for you, you know, but when all that stuff is coming up, when all we’ve got really big emotions coming up and we’re really like going through something, I think it’s really important to know that what you’re feeling in that moment isn’t just the emotion related to that moment, right?
23:49
It’s all this emotion that’s gotten stored over a long period of time and gotten stored in your unconscious mind.
23:56
Part of the role of your unconscious mind is to help you survive, right?
24:00
It’s like main thing is to help you survive in this lifetime.
24:04
So what it does is when you go through a really big emotional event or a traumatic event or something in your life.
24:10
It’s going to repress that for the purpose of protection.
24:13
But you don’t have the tools or resources to resolve that energy in the moment.
24:18
Right.
24:18
Sometimes we go through something and we don’t fully have the capacity to deal with it or to resolve it or to fully get through that emotion.
24:25
And we still need to go to work.
24:27
We still need to get through our day.
24:29
So the unconscious is going to help us by repressing it for protection.
24:32
And then it’s going to store it in kind of this energy bubble that represents a certain belief or a certain emotion.
24:39
And when something similar happens again, and the same thing happens where we don’t fully resolve it again, it’s going to get repressed and then it’s going to get stored in that emotional bubble.
24:48
And then when it happens again, when we experience the emotion, it’s not just the emotion of that moment, it’s all the emotion that’s gone stored in that energy bubble that we’re reacting through.
24:59
So we’re reacting through this emotion.
25:01
So it’s kind of like this compiled emotion that’s been stored throughout our life and comes out in these moments that feel bigger than maybe they could be right.
25:10
Have you ever had a moment where maybe you just totally overreact and you’re like, wow, that wasn’t me or I don’t know how often you look back at parts version of me.
25:20
I was like, that really wasn’t that big of a deal, but it was a huge deal to my internal system, you know, my internal dialogue because there’s been all this stuff repressed for a long time that’s really just wanting resolution.
25:33
The unconscious is also wanting to help you, wants to help you to have everything that you want in this lifetime.
25:39
And in order to do that, it knows that you also need to resolve this stuff that’s gone repressed in your life.
25:45
So it’s going to pull your attention towards things that are going to bring up this emotion or this belief for the purpose of resolution, right?
25:54
And so it’ll do this at times, even when you don’t think that you’re ready to resolve it, it knows that you’re ready.
26:00
So it’ll draw your attention towards a situation or towards a person or towards something that represents this emotion for you and that emotion comes up, right?
26:09
And so in that moment, that’s when we want to work on resolving those emotions that are coming up, especially when they’re out of proportion to the situation because then we get to resolve it and when we resolve it, that’s really about releasing the emotional energy, releasing the energy, the emotional charge that’s around it through tools like breathwork, through tools like hypnosis and m that I talked about that helps you to actually release the emotional energy because once you release the emotional energy, then your mind is clear and open and you can respond to the situation from a calm centered and balanced place and be able to look towards the past and towards the future with a more con grow mindset so that you can get the higher perspective on why you experience this because the energy is going to fully release, it’s going to fully resolve once you have the higher perspective on what you’re meant to grow from this experience, how you’re meant to grow, what you’re meant to learn from it.
27:01
The lesson that you’re meant to get.
27:03
And so each time you go through a big emotional reaction, something that you can start doing is to one, get yourself grounded.
27:11
You know, if you’re trying to problem solve through the emotions, you’re probably not going to get very far.
27:16
And so you want to get to a place where you can at least be in a more meditative calm state, right?
27:22
So getting ground, you know, going outside, putting your feet in the ground, bare feet in the ground, taking a few deep breaths, getting yourself into a meditative state and then being able to ask yourself some bigger questions for what purpose am I experiencing this?
27:38
Right?
27:38
And how is this helping me grow?
27:40
Right.
27:40
And how is this actually helping me in my life and maybe being able to identify some patterns where this specific theme has shown up in your life over and over again.
27:50
And if you’re able to identify that then, you know, OK, this is probably connected to a big lesson or a big message that I meant to learn in my life.
27:57
And so what do I need to learn from this pattern?
28:00
What do I need to learn about myself?
28:01
What do I need to shift inside my mindset around it?
28:04
What do I need to apply to my life now so that I can actually grow and evolve and get the outcome that I want in life, right?
28:11
So that can be really helpful to start asking yourself better questions when you go through those experiences too, right?
28:17
Because again, the emotion that you experience, we all, we all go through it.
28:20
We all have quote unquote baggage, which is just like built up emotional energy, it’s not negative and we’re experiencing a lot of our situations through this built up kind of residual energy.
28:31
And so when it comes up, yes, we want to be able to get the higher perspective on it.
28:36
And that again is going to come from getting grounded, getting into a meditative state, finding the higher perspective, asking yourself better questions.
28:43
And then if you have the ability to use tools like breathwork and hypnosis and mental and emotional relief, that’s really going to take you to another level where you’re installing new beliefs and new neural pathways that are going to be your kind of new version of reality.
28:56
Yeah, that was so well said I feel like, how do I say this, the biggest thing that comes through?
29:01
Like, is it fair to say, you know, your system, your body is going to show you what’s meant to be released at that time.
29:07
Right.
29:08
Yes.
29:09
Yeah.
29:09
Yeah.
29:10
So the way that I think about it, it brings up such a past, like when I first started doing this work, I was like, I want to find myself, you know, I went like, yes, I was present with whatever happened in the moment.
29:20
But then I got to the point of like, I want to go figure out more like I went digging, you know, I went searching and I love your opinion on that because I think that journey of my journey was so necessary as to like, ok, I’m going to go dig a little bit and then I got to this place of like, OK, I don’t have to constantly do the work.
29:36
Like my system, my body will show me what’s the next thing I get to work on?
29:42
What’s the next thing I get to release?
29:43
So I’d love to know what’s your perspective on, you know, the phases of the journey, right?
29:47
Some people find this early on.
29:49
They’re like, oh, this is blowing my mind.
29:51
I’m going to dig, dig, dig and then they get to a place like, oh, I get to just be present with whatever comes up in my day to day, whatever meets me where I’m at.
29:58
Yeah, I think there’s so many different phases to the journey and I think that, you know, as long as you’re open to getting to know yourself better, right.
30:07
If you know yourself, the more that you’re willing to get to know yourself, the farther you’re going to go and there’s so many different ways to get you to know yourself.
30:15
There’s no right or wrong way to approach yourself at any part of the journey.
30:19
It’s just being willing to tune in.
30:21
And like you said, with this mind, body connection, the body is always going to tell you when you’re going through something, when you’re experiencing an emotion or there’s something to pay attention to.
30:30
And there’s so many different ways to address it in those different parts of the journey.
30:34
Like you talked about therapy earlier and this bringing some really great awareness to you in your life.
30:40
And as a therapist, I know this because for so many years that was like, you know what I was doing with helping them to have this great awareness of themselves.
30:49
And I kind of got to a point as a therapist where I’m like, ok, I’m ready to take it a step further because yes, I want clients to have an awareness and I want them to actually be able to resolve it.
30:58
I actually want them to be able to get different results in their life, not just have to manage anxiety or manage these bigger emotions but actually be able to resolve it and feel themselves as a new version of themselves.
31:11
And I remember, I guess it was back in 2017, I was, I was working with a client and she had pretty severe panic disorder.
31:19
And I, I remember, you know, because I always brought this holistic approach to therapy.
31:23
I was always doing really amazing things with her and she would have some great success.
31:27
And then I noticed that she would kind of cycle back around in these same patterns and go through these same things and have these panic attacks.
31:34
And she was questioning, using medication, doing these different things.
31:37
And I was just like, there’s got to be something else out there that is going to actually help her to fully resolve this from the deepest level.
31:44
And that’s kind of when N LP neuro linguistic programming just kind of like fluttered into my path.
31:50
Someone told me you should go check out this training.
31:52
I’m like, yeah, why not?
31:53
And so I did.
31:54
And I remember when I was in that training, I saw people with these techniques release anger, they’d had their entire lives and phobias and ptsd and these techniques can take just a matter of minutes.
32:06
And as a therapist and a human, I was like, I can’t believe this.
32:10
How do we not already know about this therapists and as humans?
32:14
And so it was kind of my mission at that point to go deeper into these teachings and to start to bring this into the world with my clients.
32:21
So they would start to get some real, real results and not just have to have awareness of their stuff, right, or feel like they’re just going to have to manage it forever.
32:28
Like I wanted them to get some real long lasting change.
32:32
And so I brought these specific techniques back to my clients, specifically back to my client with the panic disorder.
32:38
And I took her through a process of what’s called a breakthrough session.
32:42
And this breakthrough session, it’s like eight years of therapy in eight hours and just gets right to the root.
32:48
And because you’re working with this unconscious part of your brain, you’re able to access where all of these stored memories and emotions got stopped and you’re able to take it even deeper and then actually release it, release the energy and the emotions that have been kind of clouding your perception of reality with the tools with mental and emotional release and some other tools and then be able to see who you truly are and what you’re meant for in this lifetime and set bigger goals and take action from that place.
33:15
And when we went through this at the time before we did it, she was like, she couldn’t, she couldn’t drive anymore because her panic attacks were so bad.
33:22
She couldn’t work and she was just this incredible woman this incredible musician and she was, her life felt so limited.
33:29
And then we did this work and it was just like night and day because after doing this now, she has this incredible music career in Las Vegas and she’s pursuing all kinds of different things and on stages and just this incredible entertainer.
33:44
And it was really, you know, I really want to say that it’s because of doing this work with the unconscious mind because she had just a completely different experience and no longer just had an awareness of where her anxiety came from or awareness of the traumas in her life or awareness of the patterns that she’d been through.
34:01
We were actually able to do something about the energy that, that got stuck along her path and the root of where it got stuck, change it so that she could have a new experience of herself and her life and now live her life as she’s meant to like the life that she’s meant for and who she’s meant to be.
34:16
Yeah.
34:17
Wow.
34:17
So it’s like such full body chills because there’s so many people out there that are just repeating the same thing, like just knowing from like friends, community, people that I meet, you know, like living in this constant anxiety or living in this constant panic or living in this constant quote unquote stuck.
34:37
And you know what I find it so sad sometimes to just be like, that’s become quote unquote normal in a lot of ways.
34:44
Like our culture, our society has normalized that in some ways.
34:48
And while I don’t want to take away or validate that those people do feel those ways, of course, you feel that way.
34:54
But I also to what you just talked about is just like the ability to work through that.
35:00
Like the desire to be like, oh, I can go deeper and I can, I can get through this.
35:05
And you helped your client like, really experience that, like, truly experience what it’s like to be like duck, miserable, anxious.
35:13
I mean, she probably could, if she didn’t, maybe didn’t find this sooner, she could have lived 5016 years.
35:18
I think we’re in a generation right now where we’re starting to wake up to.
35:22
This is possible.
35:24
We can’t, there is more for us if we want to do the work, if we want to dig deeper, if we want to find something else, if we want to move or we’re just open to other ideas that are quote unquote, not normal in our world, which is so funny to me because it’s so normal in my world.
35:40
But when you look at like the overarching like the US Western culture and just even around the world, like digging deeper is not normal and more was so special if he found it.
35:53
Like I talked to my mom sometimes and she’s in, she’s in her fifties and she started unpeel this work around like 3540 you know, so she can find it till later.
36:02
And now I’m in, I started finding this around like 2627.
36:07
So it’s like, is beautiful.
36:09
It’s becoming more normal and more reachable and you’re providing those tools for those people.
36:13
Yeah.
36:14
Yeah.
36:14
I, I definitely think that there’s kind of a change in the collective of, you know, being more open to these alternative types of healing and, you know, just being more willing to explore parts of yourselves.
36:27
And like, I think that’s the key difference because it was, it’s, it’s so normalized now.
36:32
Like you said, it’s, it’s normalized in a way where like it’s OK to work on your health and it’s ok to have emotions and it’s ok to have these blocks and to feel stuck and to go through these things and it’s ok to feel whatever you feel.
36:46
The most important thing is that you’re willing, once you, once you recognize that you’re in these feelings or you’ve got this stuck stuff that you’re ready to get to an empowered place around them because there are tools, there are resources that can help you just move out of this away, earnest and actually start living the way that you want to live it.
37:03
Right.
37:03
There’s no more excuses or reasons about why you can’t be do or have something like if you want to experience something in life and experience a fuller version of yourself, you have to be willing to invest, like, invest, time, invest financially, invest energetically, like, invest in yourself and your well being because that’s what’s going to help you to experience the most fullest version of yourself to be fully expressed.
37:26
Like when you’re to do those things totally.
37:28
And that takes, I think a, a true sense of self responsibility, right?
37:32
Like you are responsible for your choices, right?
37:35
We’re constantly making choices 24 7 all day.
37:38
You know, we, we’re making a choice since the minute that we wake up, since the night minute that we go to bed.
37:42
Like it’s just this ongoing thing that we’re choosing all day long.
37:46
But you’re talking to this sense of like we are, we are fully responsible for what that looks like for ourselves and knowing that it doesn’t have to look a certain way either.
37:55
Like it can look in the way that life presents itself to you.
37:59
You kind of, you kind of shared that.
38:00
And as an example when you found N LP, you know, you, you start asking questions, you started getting curious.
38:06
You were like there is something else here.
38:08
I know there has to be another way and that you believe that there is another way that N LP came to knocking to your door.
38:15
And I just think that’s how life finds us.
38:18
That’s how these opportunities find does is like if you put the curiosity out there, the answers start coming to you.
38:24
Right.
38:24
It’s almost like what flows to you is meant to come to you.
38:27
Totally.
38:28
Totally.
38:29
Exactly.
38:29
Like when we’re ready for it and even if we’re not ready for it, but if there’s something that we’re seeking and we’re like, open to, yeah, those answers are going to start start flooding in and start coming to you.
38:40
And I also think that, you know, when it comes to like emotions and like you want to experience a different version of yourself, something really amazing that you can start doing is start to celebrate when you go through some periods of stuck or some big emotions.
38:55
Because what that means is that you’re actually ready for some big change, like you’re ready for some big growth and your unconscious knows that you’re ready to experience something new and that’s why it’s bringing this stuff up for you.
39:07
Because the only way to get to your next level is to go through these emotion.
39:12
You can’t, you can’t go to second grade until you pass first grade.
39:15
You’ve got to get the lessons like you’ve got to get the awareness that you need.
39:19
You’ve got to start to apply some different tools and actions and behaviors in your life and then you’re going to keep evolving.
39:25
And I think the other important thing to note too is that we’re programmed to continually seek more and more.
39:31
And what that means is that when we’re seeking more and more out of life, we’re going to be experiencing bigger challenges.
39:37
Like the only way to not experience a challenge is to do absolutely nothing in life.
39:42
Absolutely nothing.
39:44
And that’s just, that’s just not a reality.
39:46
And so learning to start celebrating your challenge to celebrate your emotions because that means that you’re ready for some big growth in your life.
39:54
And even if you don’t consciously know it yet, you’re unconscious does and you’ve got to trust that you’ve got to trust.
40:00
I’m so glad that you brought that into this because I think so any client that I’ve ever met with, I’m like, I’m so excited for you or if a friend is like deep in their shit right now, I’m like, wow, I’m so excited for you because it’s such a beautiful opportunity.
40:14
You need to expand your internal capacity, your nervous system, your life the way they view things because you are going through it, right?
40:22
You’re going through the thick of it.
40:24
I know it sucks sometimes like you’re like, oh I’m going through all these really heavy emotions, but I love the perspective of like this is a really great time for you.
40:33
Like this is actually really amazing because you’re growing, you’re leveling up, you’re moving to that next grade that you mentioned, right?
40:39
Like it, that expander positive energy.
40:42
It’s like, no, you’re expanding yourself.
40:44
You’re, you’re going to the next level that you’re here to play at.
40:47
Oh Yeah.
40:48
Oh Yeah.
40:48
I’m the same way with clients, you know, come to me and maybe they’re crying and stuff.
40:51
I’m like, oh, this is going to be so fun.
40:53
Like, I can’t wait to you there.
40:55
Like, fun.
40:56
Like, what are you talking about?
40:57
And I’m like, be so great for you.
40:59
You have no idea, you know, and I’m, I’m like, ok, you got to tone it down.
41:03
Yeah.
41:03
And I think a part of that comes from the excitement of like, maybe you’ve experienced this just with, you get to experience this with clients all the time.
41:09
I’m assuming like you see them start at a and you get to see them at sea.
41:13
You know, you’re like, oh wow.
41:15
I, I saw you at A, I will help you get through B and now you’re at C and it’s just, it’s such a beautiful transformation and process that people get to where they start wherever to, going to like living their life express at whatever next stage that looks like for them.
41:29
Yeah.
41:30
Yeah.
41:30
I absolutely feel that and I know that when a client comes to me with something, you know, one, I feel like it’s, they’re meant to be on this path because they’ve come into my world like they’re meant to experience this type of work.
41:44
And you’re absolutely right.
41:45
The reason that I feel excited is because I know what’s possible for them and I am like anyone can come to me with any kind of problem and I am 99 point 9% sure that we’re going to get to the other side of it and you’re going to experience a big shift, like some big resolution in your life and really start to experience more of your true authentic self.
42:04
Like I know that down and there are no doubts in my mind about, you know, what you get out of, you know, doing this type of deep work.
42:12
You know, it, I know it, I know it personally.
42:15
Like it is just incredible when you get to experience that.
42:18
Yeah.
42:19
So on that note for you on your journey, like personally, I’d love to know like if you’re open to sharing, like what is, what part of your journey are you at?
42:29
Because I feel like we repeat the cycles over and over.
42:31
But where are you in the cycle of where you are with like fully expressing yourself either as a, as a professional, as a person personally, in relationships?
42:40
Like where are you right now?
42:42
And where are you going?
42:43
I love this question because I think that, you know, we go through so many different stages of our life and our career and you go through cycles and you go through different things.
42:54
And so for me right now, you know, I’ve built these two amazing businesses that I absolutely love and I’m, I’m still getting to know myself on such a deep level, right?
43:03
And so I’ve created, you know, different programs and different retreats and different things that have felt so good to me at certain times.
43:11
And where I am at this part of my journey is bringing those retreats and group coaching programs together and helping women through business and mindset coaching, which is so much fun.
43:20
And, you know, I’m still exploring myself as an entrepreneur too.
43:24
I’m kind of in this mindset where I’m, I’m so excited about this program and this retreat I’ve got coming up and I also know that, you know, this may be what I do forever.
43:32
This may be a phase in my life.
43:35
There may be something else coming for me.
43:37
I don’t know, but I’m just excited to explore different things.
43:40
And so whatever opportunities are kind of knocking on my doorstep.
43:44
It’s always about me tuning in and does this authentically align with where my life’s at right now, does this attune with my deeper values.
43:52
I’m always looking at, you know, my values use in life and specifically, you know, career values, especially I’m always looking at like, does this align with the season of life that I’m in right now.
44:02
Is this something that I really want to be diving into?
44:05
And I’m always exploring that, you know, as an entrepreneur, as a person, like always asking myself questions and it’s not like, OK, now that I’ve got this business and this business, like it’s just a straight line for it.
44:16
And I’m just, you know, going in this direction, you know, there’s always going to be kind of this winding road.
44:22
And so I’m just in this space where, you know, I’m, I’m always the student, I’m always getting to know myself.
44:28
I’m learning from my clients, I’m learning from, you know, the things that I’m experiencing outside of me.
44:34
And so I’m just always in this place where I’m willing to grow and, you know, to be humble and to just kind of experience what these kind of higher powers want to show me.
44:43
So I would definitely say that at this stage of my life, like I’m still growing, I’m still learning and I still go through the stuff that I’m teaching my clients about, you know, I’m human.
44:53
And once you go through some of this deep work, it’s not that you’re never going to experience a negative emotion again, or you’re never going to experience a challenge again.
45:02
Like sometimes the deeper work that you do, the more challenges that you experience because your capacity becomes bigger, right?
45:09
And so some of the things that I go through in my life are still like moments of, you know, imposter syndrome or having self doubt or fear of failure as I’m starting new things in my entrepreneurial journey, or I’m trying something that I’ve never tried before or putting myself out there in vulnerable ways.
45:26
And I would say the biggest difference for me at this stage of my life is that because I have these tools and resources to support me.
45:32
My recovery time is a lot quicker and I’m able to get to those higher perspectives a lot faster and really have this deeper knowing that everything is happening for me in my highest good.
45:43
Even if I go through some emotional outbursts or some, you know, anxious spirals, whatever it might be, you know, I can get myself grounded pretty quickly and get to that higher perspective so that I can keep moving myself forward.
45:55
And I think that’s always going to be a part of the journey.
45:57
And I’m always who sad.
46:00
I mean, I feel like that is just a part of our human experience and a part of our own personal evolutions, you know, like it’s so beautiful to hear that you’ve established these amazing businesses and then you’re also open to like, what else is there fair for me?
46:14
What else is more because I truly think by like going through these journeys, we find out a little bit more about ourselves.
46:20
We’re like, oh, I really like this.
46:22
Oh, I really don’t like that, you know, and, but we wouldn’t know unless we tried it.
46:26
But the muscle that you’re talking to, I think is so important to highlight of like the willingness to go over this over and again and continuing to have the tools continuing to lean into this work because like you said, you’re proactively recovering quicker Right.
46:40
You’re recalibrating quicker, you are realigning yourself expanding quicker.
46:44
And I think that little piece right there would make so many and makes most of very many of us very successful, successful at business, successful at life, successful in relationships because we have this tool.
46:57
It’s like I’m not going to change that life isn’t going to bring challenges, right?
47:01
I can’t say that life is going to be perfect the rest of my life.
47:03
Like no, with anything, things are going to come out of left field, they’re going to come out of the right field.
47:08
It’s our ability to adapt to it, which is what you are talking about is like, OK, how can I be with that?
47:14
Move through that and come on the other side and we just do that on repeat.
47:18
Yeah.
47:19
Yeah.
47:19
And that on repeat like celebrating when it comes up because you know that you’re meant for bigger things and it’s knowing that it’s always going to be a part of life.
47:28
And so when you learn to kind of embrace that and embody this just being a part of the human experience, you can just start to learn from it, right?
47:36
Instead of being the victim of it and asking why me or why am I going through this again or why this emotion again?
47:42
It’s like, hey, for what greater purpose, you know, and what are the bigger lessons I’m meant to learn in this lifetime?
47:48
You know, and how, how can I use this information or use this situation that I’m going to to help me grow and evolve?
47:56
Yeah, two more questions for you.
47:58
My last my one more question is going to be around the lines of like, what does it mean to you be fully expressed?
48:03
What does it feel like to live your life fully expressed in the way that you’re living it today?
48:08
I love this question for me.
48:10
I think to be fully expressed means to know yourself at the deepest level, right?
48:15
To be able to be willing to see yourself in the emotions, to show up for yourself.
48:20
When you’re, when you’re struggling, when you’re challenging and being willing to see that as a beautiful part of your journey.
48:27
And when you embrace those things, those deeper parts of you or shadow parts of you and know that it’s a part of your human experience and it can be a good thing to go through emotions and challenges that can allow you to express yourself even more fully because you’re not bypassing things, right?
48:45
You’re not, not just compartmentalized parts of you.
48:48
You accept all parts of you and you become this the fullest version of yourselves in your dining moments and in your darkest moments and when you embrace all parts of you, that’s when you can keep thriving and you can keep going and you learn to love yourself even more.
49:04
And so, you know, when you’re in that space and when you can accept the challenging times and you can accept the beautiful moments.
49:10
You know, then you can connect more to your deeper purpose and your passions and just be willing to show up to a life without this fear of feeling and just this ability to keep going and keep trying new things and experiencing new things, knowing that it may not all be perfect and it’s perfect for you in exactly the way that you’re experiencing, saying how can someone connect with you?
49:34
Fine to learn more about you?
49:37
Yes.
49:37
Yes, definitely.
49:39
You can find me on Instagram at Sara Ashley Coaching Sara without an h also at saraashleycoaching.com and also if you’re interested in therapy, I do have an amazing therapy group.
49:51
So that website is called www dot Sabi pathways.com SAB as in boy, I pathways.com and that’s for more of a holistic approach to therapy.
50:02
But I have an amazing program coming up in April.
50:05
It’s a 12 week group coaching and retreat experience for eye achieving female entrepreneurs who want to take their business to the next level and really start to remove some of these mental and emotional blocks that are unconsciously holding them back from reaching their full potential so that they can see who they truly are and start to shine even brighter in the world.
50:25
Just take their business to a whole new level, so good, so amazing, so important.
50:31
So thank you.
50:32
So much Sara for coming on the podcast.
50:34
I really appreciate it.
50:35
I felt like it was just so impactful, so important and like, we really, really definitely just highlighted what the journey really looks like and what the tools can be to support us on that way of like really living our life slow express.
50:46
So thank you so so much for being on here.
50:49
Yeah.
50:49
Thank you so much for having me and I feel like we could talk for hours about all of this stuff and yet this has been so fun and I just love it.
50:56
Amazing.
50:57
Thank you.