Sonja Lyubomirsky is a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at UC Riverside and the author of The How of Happiness, The Myths of Happiness, and her new book How to Feel Loved (with Harry Reis). Her work has reached readers in 39 countries. In this conversation she shares the five mindsets that help us feel more loved, why being known matters more than being impressive, the vulnerability paradox, what her research says about control and the future, and her own daily practice of presence and radical curiosity.

This is a future built from within: less about better tools, more about the human capacity to connect. It is the Future-ready Mindstate turned toward the most personal question of all - how we love and let ourselves be loved.

Chapters
00:00 Cold open: when did someone last make you feel loved?

02:33 Welcome - and how Frederik and Sonja met in Copenhagen

03:27 Waking up happy and loved: morning anxiety and the "magic potion" of a friend

04:50 What Sonja was most wrong about early on: social comparison

06:23 Social media and the comparison trap

07:56 What to do about it: "Excessive self-focus is the door to all misery"

11:06 Being genuinely happy for others

12:09 From happiness to love: why feeling loved is the key

13:47 Loved vs. feeling loved, and why the answer is to be known

19:42 The vulnerability paradox (and JFK after the Bay of Pigs)

21:58 Our relationship with the future: expectations and losing a future

24:07 The sailing story: handing over the wheel and the power of control

27:11 Self-love: the open-heart mindset and treating yourself like a kind friend

29:21 Sonja's own rituals: deep intimacy, presence, curiosity

31:20 On boredom and going beyond the words

33:49 The nature of love (Fast Future Round)

36:49 The smallest first move you can make today
39:06 NEXTletter outro

Sonja's Website: https://sonjalyubomirsky.com/

Sonja's New Book: https://howtofeelloved.com/

Sonja at UCR: https://profiles.ucr.edu/app/home/profile/sonja

Frederik

The Future Is How: https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/#podcast
NEXTletter: https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/nextletter

Online Courses: https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/course

1:1 Coaching: https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/coaching

Books: https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/book

Awareness Test: https://awareness.frederikgpferdt.com/

Ask Frederik: https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/ask-frederik

Contact: https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/contact
Shop: https://shop.frederikgpferdt.com/

What's left of us when AI can generate the idea, write the memo, and build the prototype faster than we ever could? Brice Challamel, Head of AI Strategy and Adoption at OpenAI offers a surprising answer: we become stewards of our own intent. In this episode he shares why he doesn't ask AI for answers in the morning but for questions, how a movie-night app turned into a love letter to his family, why he has actually cried during AI conversations - and what makes us irreplaceably human.

• 00:00 - What exactly am I for?
• 02:24 - 5 minutes, 22 seconds: how Brice built a pharma pitch in Codex
• 04:46 - "Coffee by any love" – the morning ritual
• 05:46 - The first thing he asks AI every day
• 09:30 - From knowledge worker to intelligence worker
• 11:34 - Why good AI should make you uncomfortable, and how AI turned movie night into a love letter
• 21:27 - "I made this" vs. "I meant this" – from author to steward
• 26:27 - The Joy of Missing Out vs. the Fear of Missing Out
• 28:33 - Imagining a future of thought-driven society
• 31:57 - Externalizing mental models with AI
• 33:44 - The role of emotions in AI interactions
• 38:16 - Practical experiments with AI engagement

• LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bricechallamel
• Power of Why: powerofwhy.ai

• Take the Awareness Test – How future-ready is your mindstate?
• 8-Day Foundation Course – Build your Future-ready Mindstate
• Ask Frederik – AI trained on 20 years of Frederik's work
• NEXTletter – One question, two perspectives, one experiment (bi-weekly, free)
• Live Events 2026 – See Frederik speak live
• The Future Is How Podcast – New episodes every two weeks

Dushka Zapata has written 17 books and is one of the most-read writers on Quora. Dan Roam wrote "The Back of the Napkin" and has taught Google, Microsoft, and the U.S. Navy how to think with pictures. For the first time on this show, I have two guests at the same mic - recorded inside my geodesic dome, words on one side, pictures on the other. Together we explore why imagining your future too clearly is actually a form of anxiety, why the fear of drawing is really the fear of your own future, and the practice that helped my 10-year-old draw a horse in under two minutes. Dan also shares a brand-new idea, born live in this conversation: the Palace of the Present Moment. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the future, this one is for you.

Chapters

00:00 - First time in the dome, first time with two guests

03:15 - How Dan helped my daughter Josefina draw a horse in under two minutes

05:42 - The fear of drawing is the fear of your own future

11:27 - Dushka's antidote to overwhelm (and the Einstein quote you'll steal)

14:00 - Why half of your brain is built for visual thinking

17:17 - Generative AI and why you should draw first, prompt later

20:00 - "Claude is mad at me" - why AI is just a mirror

24:00 - Patience as a minor form of despair disguised as a virtue

26:48 - The annoying bell and the power of the pause

30:00 - The Zen master, the trash over the fence, and a better way to react

32:11 - Drawing your future self

39:09 - Anxiety is too much future

41:00 - What if everything works out?

50:30 - Find silence. Draw a circle. Repeat.

Links Dushka Zapata

How to Be Ferociously Happy (Book)

Dushka on Quora

dushkazapata.com

Links Dan Roam

The Back of the Napkin (Book)

Draw to Win (Book)

Napkin Academy

danroam.com

Links Frederik

Take the Awareness Test – How future-ready is your mindstate?

What's Next Is Now (Book) – Frederik's book on designing your future (HarperCollins)

8-Day Foundation Course – Build your future-ready mindstate

Ask Frederik – AI trained on 20 years of Frederik's work

NEXTletter – One question, two perspectives, one experiment (bi-weekly, free)

Live Events 2026 – See Frederik speak live

The Future Is How Podcast – New episodes every two weeks

Dushka Zapata has written 17 books and is one of the most-read writers on Quora. Dan Roam wrote "The Back of the Napkin" and has taught Google, Microsoft, and the U.S. Navy how to think with pictures. For the first time on this show, I have two guests at the same mic - recorded inside my geodesic dome, words on one side, pictures on the other. Together we explore why imagining your future too clearly is actually a form of anxiety, why the fear of drawing is really the fear of your own future, and the practice that helped my 10-year-old draw a horse in under two minutes. Dan also shares a brand-new idea, born live in this conversation: the Palace of the Present Moment. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the future, this one is for you.

Chapters

00:00 - First time in the dome, first time with two guests

03:15 - How Dan helped my daughter Josefina draw a horse in under two minutes

05:42 - The fear of drawing is the fear of your own future

11:27 - Dushka's antidote to overwhelm (and the Einstein quote you'll steal)

14:00 - Why half of your brain is built for visual thinking

17:17 - Generative AI and why you should draw first, prompt later

20:00 - "Claude is mad at me" - why AI is just a mirror

24:00 - Patience as a minor form of despair disguised as a virtue

26:48 - The annoying bell and the power of the pause

30:00 - The Zen master, the trash over the fence, and a better way to react

32:11 - Drawing your future self

39:09 - Anxiety is too much future

41:00 - What if everything works out?

50:30 - Find silence. Draw a circle. Repeat.

Links Dushka Zapata

How to Be Ferociously Happy (Book)

Dushka on Quora

dushkazapata.com

Links Dan Roam

The Back of the Napkin (Book)

Draw to Win (Book)

Napkin Academy

danroam.com

Links Frederik

Take the Awareness Test – How future-ready is your mindstate?

What's Next Is Now (Book) – Frederik's book on designing your future (HarperCollins)

8-Day Foundation Course – Build your future-ready mindstate in 20 min/day

Ask Frederik – AI trained on 20 years of Frederik's work

NEXTletter – One question, two perspectives, one experiment (bi-weekly, free)

Live Events 2026 – See Frederik speak live

The Future Is How Podcast – New episodes every two weeks

Dushka Zapata has written 17 books and is one of the most-read writers on Quora. Dan Roam wrote "The Back of the Napkin" and has taught Google, Microsoft, and the U.S. Navy how to think with pictures. For the first time on this show, I have two guests at the same mic - recorded inside my geodesic dome, words on one side, pictures on the other. Together we explore why imagining your future too clearly is actually a form of anxiety, why the fear of drawing is really the fear of your own future, and the practice that helped my 10-year-old draw a horse in under two minutes. Dan also shares a brand-new idea, born live in this conversation: the Palace of the Present Moment. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the future, this one is for you.

Chapters

00:00 - First time in the dome, first time with two guests

03:15 - How Dan helped my daughter Josefina draw a horse in under two minutes

05:42 - The fear of drawing is the fear of your own future

11:27 - Dushka's antidote to overwhelm (and the Einstein quote you'll steal)

14:00 - Why half of your brain is built for visual thinking

17:17 - Generative AI and why you should draw first, prompt later

20:00 - "Claude is mad at me" - why AI is just a mirror

24:00 - Patience as a minor form of despair disguised as a virtue

26:48 - The annoying bell and the power of the pause

30:00 - The Zen master, the trash over the fence, and a better way to react

32:11 - Drawing your future self

39:09 - Anxiety is too much future

41:00 - What if everything works out?

50:30 - Find silence. Draw a circle. Repeat.

Links Dushka Zapata

How to Be Ferociously Happy (Book)

Dushka on Quora

dushkazapata.com

Links Dan Roam

The Back of the Napkin (Book)

Draw to Win (Book)

Napkin Academy

danroam.com

Links Frederik

Take the Awareness Test – How future-ready is your mindstate?

What's Next Is Now (Book) – Frederik's book on designing your future (HarperCollins)

8-Day Foundation Course – Build your future-ready mindstate in 20 min/day

Ask Frederik – AI trained on 20 years of Frederik's work

NEXTletter – One question, two perspectives, one experiment (bi-weekly, free)

Live Events 2026 – See Frederik speak live

The Future Is How Podcast – New episodes every two weeks

In this episode, Frederik sits down with Laura Jones, CMO of Instacart, to explore how connection isn't just a strategy, but a way of leading, seeing, and creating. Laura shares the moment she stood outside a trailer on Stanford's campus, placed her hand on it, and knew: "Whatever is inside here will change my life." That moment became the beginning of a career that took her to Google, Uber, and one of the most joyful Super Bowl ads of the year.
We talk about the power of "How might we" and "Yes, and," about 1.8 billion bananas, about a heart-opening trip to Vietnam with UNICEF, and about what it really takes to practice curiosity, not just preach it.

Chapters
00:00 The Power of Connection - Welcome Laura Jones
01:35 From Google to Uber to Instacart - Laura's Path
02:24 Creativity as a Superpower - The d.school Moment
04:54 The Trailer Story - "Whatever Is Inside Will Change My Life"
07:34 What Connection Really Means in Daily Practice
09:22 Borrowing from Tinder - Lateral Thinking in Action
11:19 The Power of "How Might We"
12:05 The Art of Ideation
13:57 Reading the Data - The Banana Insight
17:00 Yes, And - Turning a Story into a Product
19:41 Inside the Super Bowl Ad - Five Years of Foundation
22:26 The Pressure of Public Creative Work
24:23 From Blank Page to Ben Stiller and Benson Boone
25:56 Why the Linear Path Was Never an Option
27:04 Lessons for/from a Fourth Grade Class
29:55 Why Brands Run Ads - And Why Most Are Forgettable
32:37 200 People Behind 30 Seconds
34:43 Skills vs. Behaviors - What Makes a Great Team
38:44 Career-Defining Moments as a Leadership Tool
42:43 Holding Generative Space And Bringing Innovation to UNICEF
45:12 Reflections from Vietnam
52:39 The Multi-Dimensional Life
54:56 Double and Triple Plays - A Practical Framework
56:43 Rapid Fire - The Future Round And Quick Answers
01:05:11 A Practice for Listeners - Thank You, Laura!

Connect with Laura Jones:
https://www.instacart.com/company/about-us/laura-jones
https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurajonesdcsf/

Connect with Frederik:
https://awareness.frederikgpferdt.com - How future-ready is your mindstate?
https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/book - Frederik's book on designing your future (HarperCollins)
https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/course/8-days - Build your future-ready mindstate in 20 min/day
https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/ask-frederik - AI trained on 20 years of Frederik's work
https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/nextletter - One question, two perspectives, one experiment (bi-weekly, free)
https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/tour - See Frederik speak live
https://www.frederikgpferdt.com/#podcast - New episodes every two weeks

Bill Burnett co-wrote the number one New York Times bestseller Designing Your Life and

helped over a million people figure out what to do with their lives. Now he's asking the harder

question: once you're doing it, does it actually feel worth it? In this episode, Bill and I explore

why fulfillment might be a dead end, how Maslow got his own pyramid wrong, and what it really

takes to design a life full of meaning - not just success. We talk about wonder, community, flow,

and why the most meaningful moments are already right in front of you. If you've ever

wondered whether there's more to life than crossing things off your to-do list, this one is for you.

Chapters

00:00 - What it means to search for meaning in life

04:11 - Was Maslow selling us something that never existed?!

08:31 - The two ways of looking at the world

09:53 - Why students are not burning down stuff anymore when protesting

12:49 - Reframing the Meaning of Life

17:40 - Where in the world are wonder and awe

27:05 - Do Communities help us avoid personal crisis and finding meaning?

29:01 - The crisis of loneliness and community building

34:32 - How you design a meaningful life in a world hostile to slowness?

41:18 - Fast Future with Bill Burnett

46:58 - Get the human part right and everything else is gonna work.

Links Bill Burnett

How to Live a Meaningful Life (Book)

Designing Your Life (Book)

Fully Alive by Design (Newsletter)

Links Frederik

Take the Awareness Test — How future-ready is your mindstate?

What's Next Is Now (Book) — Frederik's book on designing your future (HarperCollins)

8-Day Foundation Course — Build your future-ready mindstate in 20 min/day

Ask Frederik — AI trained on 20 years of Frederik's work

NEXTletter — One question, two perspectives, one experiment (bi-weekly, free)

Live Events 2026 — See Frederik speak live

The Future Is How Podcast — New episodes every two weeks

#designingyourlife #billburnett #meaningoflife #fulfillment #maslowhierarchy #lifedesign #loneliness

#communitybuilding #frederikgpferdt

Intro
What if the luckiest people you know aren't lucky at all - but simply better at a skill most of us were never taught? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Tina Seelig, Stanford professor, author of 18 books, and one of the most influential voices on creativity, innovation, and entrepreneurship. Tina's brand new book "What I Wish I Knew About Luck" (HarperCollins) reframes everything we think we know about luck - it's not a gift, it's a practice. We explore how to build your inner ship, recruit your crew, and hoist your sail to catch the winds of opportunity. This isn't just an interview - Tina and I taught together at Stanford, traveled together, and built ideas side by side. This is a reunion. And I think you'll feel that.

Chapters
00:00 Welcome to the show, Tina Seelig

02:18 Teaching Creativity: Come up with the most disgusting restaurant idea ever!

05:22 How my science book got into the cooking section of the book store

07:44 Why it is really important to distinguish fortune from luck

10:26 Between stimulus and response

11:27 Building Your Luck: The Three Pillars

14:10 Understanding Core Values and Skills

14:55 They backed me in the corner and said, are you a spy?

17:25 What is the no. 1 skill we need to grow as humans?

20:25 How to assess your risk profile

22:53 Recruiting Your Crew for Luck

26:01 The Power of Appreciation and Relationships

26:51 Cultivating Gratitude and Relationships

28:58 Resolving Conflicts and Building Trust

30:24 The Long Game of Luck

33:44 The Impact of Choices on Future Opportunities

36:15 What ANTs are and why grace and curiosity help

38:45 Curiosity and Understanding in Relationships

40:10 What I find is the best thing of working with students

41:54 What everyone can do to start building luck right away

43:24 Fast Future with Tina

45:41 Hoisting Your Sail: Daily Practices for Luck

Links
What I Wish I Knew About Luck (Tina Seelig)
https://www.amazon.com/What-Wish-Knew-About-Luck/dp/0063471361

You'll find everything concerning my person here:
https://frederikgpferdt.com

At a glance

In this episode of The Future Is HOW, I sit down with Dr. Léa Steinacker — social scientist, bestselling author, and co-founder of ada Learning. Léa opens with a surprising observation: the moments technology makes her feel most human are not the moments of wonder — they are the moments of frustration. And from there, the conversation goes somewhere unexpected. We talk about running along Lake Zurich at sunrise, listening to birds instead of podcasts, and why she once spent an entire hour eating a single raisin.

We explore AI as a mirror — not just for our thinking, but for our deepest tendencies: our hunger for confirmation, our preference for frictionless relationships, and what Esther Perel calls "artificial intimacy."

And we talk about centaur skills — the rare ability to know when to let the machine run and when to bring the human back in. Not as a technical skill. As a way of living.

The future Léa imagines is more inefficient, on purpose. More alive. A conversation about what it means to dare to pay attention — to another person, to yourself.

Chapters

00:00 Welcome, Léa Steinacker!

01:37 A moment when technology made me feel deeply human

05:08 Morning rituals: How my connection to nature brings me to myself

11:49 AI as a mirror: Reflecting human behavior

16:59 The future of relationships with AI

17:55 Why Esther Perel called Frederik a non-futurist

21:27 Imagining humanoid robots and emotional connections

32:06 The power of eye contact

36:09 Centaur skills for the future

43:10 What I'd do while my AI is working for me

46:34 Why I ever wanted to be inefficient

50:03 I was eating a raisin for one hour.

53:44 Fast Future Round — final questions and answers

Where to Find Frederik G. Pferdt

NextLetter: https://www.nextletter.frederikgpferdt.com Book: whatsnextisnowthebook.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fgpferdt YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/frederikgpferdt Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/frederikgpferdt Website: https://www.frederikgpferdt.com Make the test: https://awareness.frederikgpferdt.com

Where to Find Léa Steinacker

Website: https://www.leasteinacker.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr... ada Learning: https://www.ada-learning.com

Books – Alles überall auf einmal (co-authored with Prof. Dr. Miriam Meckel, 2024): https://www.amazon.de/Alles-üb...

Music: Andreas Horchler
Producer: Florian Dietrich

At a glance

In this episode of The Future Is HOW, I sit down with world-renowned master perfumer Christophe Laudamiel to explore one of the most powerful yet overlooked senses shaping our future: smell.

Christophe shares how his journey into perfumery began, what mentors in the fragrance world taught him, and why scent is far more complex than we usually imagine. Together we explore the deep connection between smell and memory, why no scent ever represents just one thing, and how fragrance can be designed to evoke emotions, experiences, and even entire stories.

The conversation moves from the personal to the future: How would you design the scent of a humanoid robot? Why do we crave certain smells, like fruit, yet rarely experience them authentically in fragrance? And what happens when scent becomes personalized, expressive, and deeply human?

From creativity and diversity to memory and imagination, Christophe reminds us that scent is not just chemistry. It is language. It is emotion. It is a way of experiencing the world.

A conversation about the invisible forces that shape how we remember, feel, and imagine what comes next.

Chapters

00:00 The Power of Scent and Memory
02:54 The Journey into Perfumery
03:24 How Christophe discovered smell and entered the industry of parfumery
06:04 I love the variety - you should see my shower!
07:19 What mentors in the parfume industry teach you
08:24 For those who have no mentor and want to create parfumes
09:23 When Frederik's daughter could smell a picture
13:00 There is not one smell, that smells of only one thing
18:16 How Christophe would create the scent of humanoid robots
23:19 Why don't we have more fruit smells though so many people likes fruits
26:05 Designing Scents for Emotions
29:40 Personalized Fragrance Creation
32:05 The Future of Scent and Memory
33:10 Fast Future Questions
34:10 Diversity in Fragrance and Humanity
35:15 Creative Expression Through Scent

Where to Find Frederik G. Pferdt 

NextLetter: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.nextletter.frederikgpferdt.com
Book: ⁠whatsnextisnowthebook.com⁠
LinkedIn⁠: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fgpferdt
⁠YouTube⁠: https://www.youtube.com/c/frederikgpferdt
⁠Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/frederikgpferdt

Website: https://www.frederikgpferdt.com

Make the test: https://awareness.frederikgpferdt.com

Music: Andreas Horchler
Producer: Florian Dietrich