It's the 200th episode of the podcast! What an achievement. It's over five years since I changed the show from music based to "ideas"-based. And what a fun five years it has been. Remember that first episode?

We've covered a lot in that time; the focus and theme has ebbed and flowed, and the most significant change happened last October when it became The Gentle Rebel Podcast. It remains (on the whole) one of the highlights of my week.

I've always been affected by me my perception of place. A room I've been in before can feel like somewhere I've never been. What drives this?

Something has always affected me in a weird way is my perception of place. A room I've been in before can feel like somewhere I've never been. Or it can feel like a completely different place. What drives this? Emotion? Energy? Stress?

If you want to know what I mean then it's worth listening to the show because I've used several examples to try explaining. From a traumatic experience of childcare at a big conference, to an abandoned fishing factory, a deserted airport and an auditorium.

I'd love to know if this is something you "get" as well. I've never shared it before because it's so hard to pin down. If I haven't managed it in this episode then I'll give up on trying to describe it.

Thanks for listening!

Marianne Cantwell recently emailed me to say that she was getting a lot of feedback from highly sensitive people who had watched her recent TEDx talk (The Hidden Power of Not (Always) Fitting In). I can see why it was resonating.

If you consider yourself a gentle rebel then I definitely recommend watching it because she articulates a certain struggle that many introverts and HSPs experience.. It is described as a talk:

"for those who are good at looking like they fit into their various worlds (be it industry / workplace / social group)…. but who, on the inside, secretly feel like an outsider.

Discover how this tendency can mask a real hidden strength (even if it doesn’t feel that way), see a fresh way of handling this in order to make the most of who you are… and why the traits many of us hide are precisely what we need to embrace to thrive in today’s fast-changing world.”

In this episode of the podcast I explore the idea of "liminality" and why it is such an important concept for gentle rebels. Our lives, tastes, and preferences are underpinned by societal contradictions. We are not black and white creatures who can be stereotyped and understood without knowing us. Instead, we are grey, nuanced, fascinating people. Rather we are those who embrace liminality.

Big Announcement

As you'll know if you've been listening to this podcast for a while you can help support it through Patreon.

I've made some changes to the Patreon page. It is now a monthly rather than per-episode subscription and there are 4 tiers.

How will the podcast change as a result of this?

It won't. But there will be more branches of content and community, which you can get access to. The podcast is the heart, from which you can go deeper, learn more, and receive more personal updates from me as I continue to pursue my creative goals and ambitions as an introverted HSP.

Marianne Cantwell recently emailed me to say that she was getting a lot of feedback from highly sensitive people who had watched her recent TEDx talk (The Hidden Power of Not (Always) Fitting In). I can see why it was resonating.

If you consider yourself a gentle rebel then I definitely recommend watching it because she articulates a certain struggle that many introverts and HSPs experience.. It is described as a talk:

"for those who are good at looking like they fit into their various worlds (be it industry / workplace / social group)…. but who, on the inside, secretly feel like an outsider.

Discover how this tendency can mask a real hidden strength (even if it doesn’t feel that way), see a fresh way of handling this in order to make the most of who you are… and why the traits many of us hide are precisely what we need to embrace to thrive in today’s fast-changing world.”

In this episode of the podcast I explore the idea of "liminality" and why it is such an important concept for gentle rebels. Our lives, tastes, and preferences are underpinned by societal contradictions. We are not black and white creatures who can be stereotyped and understood without knowing us. Instead, we are grey, nuanced, fascinating people. Rather we are those who embrace liminality.

Big Announcement

As you'll know if you've been listening to this podcast for a while you can help support it through Patreon.

I've made some changes to the Patreon page. It is now a monthly rather than per-episode subscription and there are 4 tiers.

How will the podcast change as a result of this?

It won't. But there will be more branches of content and community, which you can get access to. The podcast is the heart, from which you can go deeper, learn more, and receive more personal updates from me as I continue to pursue my creative goals and ambitions as an introverted HSP.

What is your crutch?

I mean, we all have them. Multiple-crutches in fact. The coffee that helps you wake up in the morning for example. A small crutch to support you in moving yourself into the day.

Since becoming a blogger/podcaster I have started to find analogies in the most unexpected places. I've been playing quite a bit of Fifa 17 over the past few weeks. It's the first Fifa game I've played since 2003 (a lot has changed).

Learning to play reminded me that we use crutches all the time. You start on 'Beginner', then there is 'Amateur', 'Semi-Professional', 'Professional', 'World-Class', and 'Legendary'. Once I started winning 9-0 every game on Beginner it was time to move up a level. Then the same happened again and I moved up to Semi-Professional, and so on.

It's of little value staying at beginner because it proves nothing. Each crutch serves a purpose; to assist you towards the next level. This until (if it's your desire and you're willing to put in the hours of deliberate improvement), you will make your way to the very top rung.

The Big Bad Crutch

The word 'crutch' is usually talked about as a negative thing. Unhealthy behaviours that people use to cope with things in the wrong way. It's a word often used to describe dependency and addiction.

I think we sometimes fail to see where a crutch is a good thing in life. Something that assists, supports, and makes easier whatever it is we want to do. That's the purpose of a physical crutch if you break your leg. It takes the weight off the broken bone and allows you to continue moving, albeit with a little difficulty at first. When I move to the next level on Fifa I usually get beaten a couple of times before I find my feet and step up to the new pace.

It is a temporary support to enable improved functioning.

We can use this truth to make a big difference in our lives as gentle rebels. Recognise and seek out crutches that will help take us onward to the next level.

In this episode of the podcast I talk about some of my own crutches and how they've helped me. We also think about the dangers of letting a crutch take control beyond its allotted deadline or outside of the boundaries we set. And I share how I've come to see the terms 'introvert' and 'highly sensitive person' as particular crutches. And what that means for those of us who identify with those traits.

Can you think of a crutch in your own day to day life? What does it support and make possible?

What is your crutch?

I mean, we all have them. Multiple-crutches in fact. The coffee that helps you wake up in the morning for example. A small crutch to support you in moving yourself into the day.

Since becoming a blogger/podcaster I have started to find analogies in the most unexpected places. I've been playing quite a bit of Fifa 17 over the past few weeks. It's the first Fifa game I've played since 2003 (a lot has changed).

Learning to play reminded me that we use crutches all the time. You start on 'Beginner', then there is 'Amateur', 'Semi-Professional', 'Professional', 'World-Class', and 'Legendary'. Once I started winning 9-0 every game on Beginner it was time to move up a level. Then the same happened again and I moved up to Semi-Professional, and so on.

It's of little value staying at beginner because it proves nothing. Each crutch serves a purpose; to assist you towards the next level. This until (if it's your desire and you're willing to put in the hours of deliberate improvement), you will make your way to the very top rung.

The Big Bad Crutch

The word 'crutch' is usually talked about as a negative thing. Unhealthy behaviours that people use to cope with things in the wrong way. It's a word often used to describe dependency and addiction.

I think we sometimes fail to see where a crutch is a good thing in life. Something that assists, supports, and makes easier whatever it is we want to do. That's the purpose of a physical crutch if you break your leg. It takes the weight off the broken bone and allows you to continue moving, albeit with a little difficulty at first. When I move to the next level on Fifa I usually get beaten a couple of times before I find my feet and step up to the new pace.

It is a temporary support to enable improved functioning.

We can use this truth to make a big difference in our lives as gentle rebels. Recognise and seek out crutches that will help take us onward to the next level.

In this episode of the podcast I talk about some of my own crutches and how they've helped me. We also think about the dangers of letting a crutch take control beyond its allotted deadline or outside of the boundaries we set. And I share how I've come to see the terms 'introvert' and 'highly sensitive person' as particular crutches. And what that means for those of us who identify with those traits.

Can you think of a crutch in your own day to day life? What does it support and make possible?

It brings me a real boost whenever I receive encouraging emails from listeners. And I'm very grateful to have received a few lately.

They have had one thing in common: a 'thank you' for being 'real' and 'honest' in my work. And in typical HSP fashion I’ve been ruminating on these messages a lot. I realise that I never really think about being 'real' or 'honest'... I guess it must just sort of happen.

It has made me wonder about the alternatives. I mean, how else would I share?

In this episode of the podcast I reflect on the highly sensitive BS detector, and explore why we seem to see straight through people who aren't 'real' and 'honest'.

It surprises me when people thank me for sharing my experiences of struggle and challenge. I don't feel like I always share as much as I could. But then the perfectionist in me always tries to pull me back from allowing myself to be too vulnerable.

The truth is, if I let my inner perfectionist voice win then you would NEVER hear an episode of the podcast. I'm never happy with what I've done when I hit publish. I tell myself that it should be more polished, slick, and professional. But the number of readers and listeners continues to grow week on week, despite this fear that what I put out is kind of clumsy and error-ridden. This is both baffling and also makes complete sense.

Yet strangely, it is when I feel the fear of letting go strongest that I'm guaranteed to hear from someone with a message to say that they connected with the show. I think it is a great, humbling reminder that none of us wants to be preached at with slick authority. We want to connect with the humanness of other peoples' experiences that relate to ours.

In the podcast I share my thoughts on:

Why are HSPs are put off sales talk and marketing tools?

How not to pitch your voice when sharing a message online

Why I am committed to sharing my best thoughts for free through the podcast, blog and mailing list

Why I appreciate having the opportunity to buy things online from people I like and trust

The way that our obsession with slick tools and perception management can create the wrong impression and erode trust

Soul > Slick

So a massive thank you to those of you who take the time to listen, and to those who have sent me emails. It is more encouraging than you could imagine to hear that kind of feedback because it reminds me of what's important, and why soul always trumps slick. It's what I appreciate in the people I follow online - it's just sometimes hard to remember and accept for myself!

It brings me a real boost whenever I receive encouraging emails from listeners. And I'm very grateful to have received a few lately.

They have had one thing in common: a 'thank you' for being 'real' and 'honest' in my work. And in typical HSP fashion I’ve been ruminating on these messages a lot. I realise that I never really think about being 'real' or 'honest'... I guess it must just sort of happen.

It has made me wonder about the alternatives. I mean, how else would I share?

In this episode of the podcast I reflect on the highly sensitive BS detector, and explore why we seem to see straight through people who aren't 'real' and 'honest'.

It surprises me when people thank me for sharing my experiences of struggle and challenge. I don't feel like I always share as much as I could. But then the perfectionist in me always tries to pull me back from allowing myself to be too vulnerable.

The truth is, if I let my inner perfectionist voice win then you would NEVER hear an episode of the podcast. I'm never happy with what I've done when I hit publish. I tell myself that it should be more polished, slick, and professional. But the number of readers and listeners continues to grow week on week, despite this fear that what I put out is kind of clumsy and error-ridden. This is both baffling and also makes complete sense.

Yet strangely, it is when I feel the fear of letting go strongest that I'm guaranteed to hear from someone with a message to say that they connected with the show. I think it is a great, humbling reminder that none of us wants to be preached at with slick authority. We want to connect with the humanness of other peoples' experiences that relate to ours.

In the podcast I share my thoughts on:

Why are HSPs are put off sales talk and marketing tools?

How not to pitch your voice when sharing a message online

Why I am committed to sharing my best thoughts for free through the podcast, blog and mailing list

Why I appreciate having the opportunity to buy things online from people I like and trust

The way that our obsession with slick tools and perception management can create the wrong impression and erode trust

Soul > Slick

So a massive thank you to those of you who take the time to listen, and to those who have sent me emails. It is more encouraging than you could imagine to hear that kind of feedback because it reminds me of what's important, and why soul always trumps slick. It's what I appreciate in the people I follow online - it's just sometimes hard to remember and accept for myself!

There is a difference between simplicity and simplistic. And it's worth understanding, because it impacts the way we approach pretty much all of life.

It also matters for gentle rebels because it influences the way we think about personality. There is a difference between simple and simplistic understandings of introversion and high sensitivity. This matters.

Simplicity vs Simplistic

This is an idea I first came across when I read Edward de Bono's book, Simplicity. In it he talks about simplicity as existing the other side of complex. There is a responsibility for people to break down complex aspects of life into manageable and recognisable.

A simple solution to a problem is a good solution.

A simplistic solution to a problem may well create and add to the problem.

Simplicity is being simple after knowing. The simple solution understands the deep issues of the problem and finds the simplest way out of it. Whereas simplistic assumes it knows without actually bothering to take the time to understand.

In this episode of the podcast we explore this idea in a deeper way and ask how it might relate to gentle rebels.

[powerpress]

Simplistic vs Simplicity

Simplistic view of an introvert: a person who is shy and reserved.

Simple understanding of introversion: a person who is energised from the inside out rather than from external stimulation. They look within before responding to the outside world and like to know what they want to say before they speak rather than 'thinking out loud’.

I also talk about how I believe concepts like 'hustle' and 'creativity' relate to this simplicity/simplistic divide.

There is a difference between simplicity and simplistic. And it's worth understanding, because it impacts the way we approach pretty much all of life.

It also matters for gentle rebels because it influences the way we think about personality. There is a difference between simple and simplistic understandings of introversion and high sensitivity. This matters.

Simplicity vs Simplistic

This is an idea I first came across when I read Edward de Bono's book, Simplicity. In it he talks about simplicity as existing the other side of complex. There is a responsibility for people to break down complex aspects of life into manageable and recognisable.

A simple solution to a problem is a good solution.

A simplistic solution to a problem may well create and add to the problem.

Simplicity is being simple after knowing. The simple solution understands the deep issues of the problem and finds the simplest way out of it. Whereas simplistic assumes it knows without actually bothering to take the time to understand.

In this episode of the podcast we explore this idea in a deeper way and ask how it might relate to gentle rebels.

[powerpress]

Simplistic vs Simplicity

Simplistic view of an introvert: a person who is shy and reserved.

Simple understanding of introversion: a person who is energised from the inside out rather than from external stimulation. They look within before responding to the outside world and like to know what they want to say before they speak rather than 'thinking out loud’.

I also talk about how I believe concepts like 'hustle' and 'creativity' relate to this simplicity/simplistic divide.

Peaceableness is one the characteristics I believe has an important place in the gentle rebel's toolbox. Gentle rebels are driven by a deep sense of creative peaceableness - the alternative to reactive anger and hostility.

It’s a part of what makes a gentle rebel. It is built into the natural fabric of a gentle rebel, and is also an attractive trait that is learned as a result of cultural and social conditioning. In other words, it's not always easy to choose the way of peaceableness.

Peaceableness is the Difficult Choice

It is a choice in the same way that love is a choice or conscious action. It's not simply some feeling that we wait to experience. Rather it is a value that we bring to a relationship and situation. Peaceableness is a response to a person, situation, or experience which requires an intervention in the natural order. To say 'I know that I feel like reacting in kind, but I choose to find a peaceful path through this'.

Look up the word 'peaceable' and you might see things like, ‘someone inclined to avoid conflict’, ‘not quarrelsome or argumentative or hostile’ or perhaps 'shying away from confrontation'.

This doesn't provide the whole picture, especially for peaceable gentle rebels. We are people who yes, while not enjoying hostility and conflict, don't simply run away or hide. When the cause is important to us we will fight to find a way to bring change and find a resolution to conflict. We try to avoid the supposed logic of redemptive violence as a solution. And recognise that peaceable alternatives are more attractive, which appears to be a self-evident reality from the lessons of history and our own interpersonal relationships.

Peaceable People are Attractive

I am drawn towards peaceable people. There is something magnetic about those who seek peace above and beyond conflict and violence. It's refreshing, and creative. It shows depth of character and a thoughtfulness that transcends the status quo, easy way of looking at the world.

In this episode of the podcast we will have a look at what peaceableness isn't, as well as what it is. Words like Snowflake, Weak, Coward, Overly-Sensitive, and Naive might be used in the same breath but there is no correlation. And in this episode I explain why I believe peaceable people are in fact the opposite.