Do you enjoy watching horror movies?

It would seem that many HSPs would be quick to answer 'no' to that question. They steer clear. That's fine. I completely understand.

But I thought it probably time to come clean myself and admit to you that I've always been a bit partial to the horror genre. Well, to certain areas of it at least.

In this week's episode I let you in on those aspects of horror movies that I particularly enjoy. I also share why recently I've found them more difficult to watch...to the point where it took me 5 separate sittings to get through the whole of The Babadook.

Elaine Aron asks as one of her pre-cursory questions to the self-test for highly sensitive people: "Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?"

This appears to be a widely shared experience for many HSPs due to the affect seeing violence can have on us. People have spoken of never being able to forget certain scenes from violent films that they wish they had not watched.

As a society we're rapidly becoming decensitised to violence. It is used more liberally in entertainment where in the past it may have been alluded to or left to the viewer's imagination. In the show I talk about the growing and potential impact of this. I also discuss the differences between the way films use violence and why distinguishing between them is important.

The past twenty years or so has seen the rise of ultra-violent movies in the mainstream. Films that lack the subtlety and craft of suspense that makes classic horror work so well. Movies created to have little if any message beneath the surface. It's frustrating to see because what I love about horror, thrillers and other types of film designed to make you experience a sense of fear or fright, is that they ask important questions and ironically often carry a message of hope for change and a brighter future.

If you're little partial to a horror or thriller film but can't stand senseless scenes of violence, don't worry. There are many films that cater to that. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater!

What type of HSP are you?

The more I've worked with and got to know highly sensitive people the more I understand that no two HSPs are the same.

Our sensitivities are unique to each of us in that we are more sensitive to certain things than others. What is it for you? Textures, Tastes, Smells, Sounds, Sights, The Emotions and Plights of Others, Ideas, Foods, Chemicals, Moods, Art?

Whatever it is (or they are), when you become deeply aware you can begin to bring it to the world as a gift rather than feeling like it's some kind of curse.

In this episode I want to think about the different types of sensitivities we can have towards subtleties around us. I talk about how we can begin to understand our own unique sensitivities by listening to feedback we get. Then how we can actively notice the world in ways natural to us. And also how those things that deeply affect us can often be both gifts and curses depending on which side of the coin we look.

Basic Sensitivities

Sensitivity is how responsive our nervous system is to certain stimuli. It's not something we can turn off, it's our natural reaction to the world when our bodies and minds are left to their own devices. Every person on the planet is sensitive in this respect. We all respond to stimuli.

For Highly Sensitive People, those with high processing sensitivity this just happens more deeply and more acutely. It has been shown to be a part of the human evolutionary history. A trait very helpful in spotting dangers early enough to avoid the harm that could come from them.

I like to return to the very basics of what it means to be a highly sensitive person from time to time. It's a trait that transcends emotion and psychology. It's a hard wired state of being that predisposes us to be more sensitive to certain subtleties in our environment.

In the episode I spend a bit of time re-emphasising the difference between highly sensitive people and highly offend-able people. Too often this line is blurred in our conversations about high processing sensitivity.

What type of HSP are you?

The more I've worked with and got to know highly sensitive people the more I understand that no two HSPs are the same.

Our sensitivities are unique to each of us in that we are more sensitive to certain things than others. What is it for you? Textures, Tastes, Smells, Sounds, Sights, The Emotions and Plights of Others, Ideas, Foods, Chemicals, Moods, Art?

Whatever it is (or they are), when you become deeply aware you can begin to bring it to the world as a gift rather than feeling like it's some kind of curse.

In this episode I want to think about the different types of sensitivities we can have towards subtleties around us. I talk about how we can begin to understand our own unique sensitivities by listening to feedback we get. Then how we can actively notice the world in ways natural to us. And also how those things that deeply affect us can often be both gifts and curses depending on which side of the coin we look.

Basic Sensitivities

Sensitivity is how responsive our nervous system is to certain stimuli. It's not something we can turn off, it's our natural reaction to the world when our bodies and minds are left to their own devices. Every person on the planet is sensitive in this respect. We all respond to stimuli.

For Highly Sensitive People, those with high processing sensitivity this just happens more deeply and more acutely. It has been shown to be a part of the human evolutionary history. A trait very helpful in spotting dangers early enough to avoid the harm that could come from them.

I like to return to the very basics of what it means to be a highly sensitive person from time to time. It's a trait that transcends emotion and psychology. It's a hard wired state of being that predisposes us to be more sensitive to certain subtleties in our environment.

In the episode I spend a bit of time re-emphasising the difference between highly sensitive people and highly offend-able people. Too often this line is blurred in our conversations about high processing sensitivity.

This week we have a podcast first; believe it or not I've never before done an interview on the show...until now. I am joined by my friend and podcaster Kelly O'Laughlin, who is the founder and presenter of The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast.

I invited her onto the show to talk about the challenges and joys of being a highly sensitive podcaster and how these can apply more deeply to life as a HSP.

With podcasting constantly growing in popularity as a platform it felt like a great opportunity to talk about how it can be a great tool for HSPs and introverts as well. It gives us the chance to speak to people without being truly aware of who is listening.

You will hear how both Kelly and I share many of the same experiences. And why we felt compelled to start podcasts in order to speak to and encourage other highly sensitive people. Podcasting is such a great way to connect with people because it is close and personal and something I hope many HSPs will continue to explore.

In this Episode you'll discover:

The challenges HSPs face when launching and maintaining a podcast, but why it's ultimately worth it

Where Kelly comes up with topics to talk about and how you can develop an endless pool of ideas

The surprising reason for Kelly's amazing ability to keep episodes short and to the point

Why Kelly chose to bring interview guests onto her show and the challenges she faced doing so

How she copes with criticism and negative feedback, even when it's hurtful and personal

The steps Kelly takes to generate income from her podcast without compromising the integrity of the show

Alternative views on using video and photos of yourself when building an online presence

Our best advice to HSPs and introverts who are thinking of starting a podcast but haven't yet made the leap

This week we have a podcast first; believe it or not I've never before done an interview on the show...until now. I am joined by my friend and podcaster Kelly O'Laughlin, who is the founder and presenter of The Highly Sensitive Person Podcast.

I invited her onto the show to talk about the challenges and joys of being a highly sensitive podcaster and how these can apply more deeply to life as a HSP.

With podcasting constantly growing in popularity as a platform it felt like a great opportunity to talk about how it can be a great tool for HSPs and introverts as well. It gives us the chance to speak to people without being truly aware of who is listening.

You will hear how both Kelly and I share many of the same experiences. And why we felt compelled to start podcasts in order to speak to and encourage other highly sensitive people. Podcasting is such a great way to connect with people because it is close and personal and something I hope many HSPs will continue to explore.

In this Episode you'll discover:

The challenges HSPs face when launching and maintaining a podcast, but why it's ultimately worth it

Where Kelly comes up with topics to talk about and how you can develop an endless pool of ideas

The surprising reason for Kelly's amazing ability to keep episodes short and to the point

Why Kelly chose to bring interview guests onto her show and the challenges she faced doing so

How she copes with criticism and negative feedback, even when it's hurtful and personal

The steps Kelly takes to generate income from her podcast without compromising the integrity of the show

Alternative views on using video and photos of yourself when building an online presence

Our best advice to HSPs and introverts who are thinking of starting a podcast but haven't yet made the leap

"You can easily judge the character of a person by how he or she treats those who can do nothing for them.”—Malcolm S. Forbes.

Givers seek out ways to be helpful and give to others without any deeper agenda

Matchers play “tit for tat”—they keep an eye on the social bank account and do favours for favours

Takers are focussed on getting as much as they can from situations, relationships, and people

If you are an introvert or highly sensitive person this is clearly going to be an issue you will think about. I have had emails from people who have lost sight of boundaries in relationships. Those who attract narcissists and energy vampires that have bled them dry and they don't know what to do. They have shut off, isolated themselves, and declared that they cannot afford to be givers any longer.

So how can you become a successful giver?

Well that's what I explore in this week's episode of the podcast.

Brenda Knowles wrote an article about this subject a while back and she picked out the three things we can do if we want to be givers who are successful and happy rather than the opposite option.

Spot the takers in your midst.

Engage in “five-minute favours”

Don't restrict your interactions to just givers

Brenda says "I am a selective giver, which could be construed as a matcher, but I am not strategic about giving.” We all have to make choices. We have finite resources. The key is what drives those choices. Is it a cold and calculating sense of what you can get, or a desire to give because that's what you are compelled to do?

Givers share praise. They encourage people. They say thank you and well done. They look people in the eye and smile. It doesn't cost much to extend your giver-heart.

Are you a giver, taker, or matcher? Is there anything that stops you from being a giver?

"You can easily judge the character of a person by how he or she treats those who can do nothing for them.”—Malcolm S. Forbes.

Givers seek out ways to be helpful and give to others without any deeper agenda

Matchers play “tit for tat”—they keep an eye on the social bank account and do favours for favours

Takers are focussed on getting as much as they can from situations, relationships, and people

If you are an introvert or highly sensitive person this is clearly going to be an issue you will think about. I have had emails from people who have lost sight of boundaries in relationships. Those who attract narcissists and energy vampires that have bled them dry and they don't know what to do. They have shut off, isolated themselves, and declared that they cannot afford to be givers any longer.

So how can you become a successful giver?

Well that's what I explore in this week's episode of the podcast.

Brenda Knowles wrote an article about this subject a while back and she picked out the three things we can do if we want to be givers who are successful and happy rather than the opposite option.

Spot the takers in your midst.

Engage in “five-minute favours”

Don't restrict your interactions to just givers

Brenda says "I am a selective giver, which could be construed as a matcher, but I am not strategic about giving.” We all have to make choices. We have finite resources. The key is what drives those choices. Is it a cold and calculating sense of what you can get, or a desire to give because that's what you are compelled to do?

Givers share praise. They encourage people. They say thank you and well done. They look people in the eye and smile. It doesn't cost much to extend your giver-heart.

Are you a giver, taker, or matcher? Is there anything that stops you from being a giver?

Humans are wonderful at quickly adapting to new realities. It’s an ability that has been key to our survival as a species.

“The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes.”

I’m fascinated by the way this plays out in our lives.

A New Season: The Old Hedonic Treadmill

This year I achieved a major goal I had set for myself, which was to run 10km. Not a big deal for some people, but a big enough deal for me. It took me just under 6 months to get from an uncomfortable 2km run to a comfortable 10km.

The hedonic treadmill was with me all the way. The increased distances would bring a spike of joy followed by a return to a stable level at the ‘new normal’.

It is only because I tracked my progress that I was able to have perspective. I could see how far I’d come and the hedonic treadmill was slowed (as I was running on the real treadmill). I used an Evernote template that Michael Hyatt provides for tracking goals.

Having ‘Key Motivations’ written above the goal that spurred me on and gave me the focus to create a new goal afterwards. We have a tendency towards more and more, rather than better.

In this episode I share 6 new ways you can approach the hedonic treadmill. By changing how we understand and relate to it in our lives we can find a greater sense of enjoyment and satisfaction.

* Track Your Progress In The Background

* Celebrate Your Wins

* Move the Goalposts

* Know The Difference Between a Feeling and a Reason

* Withhold Pleasure

* Actively Engage Gratitude

Watch the Podcast

This week I filmed the recording of the podcast and have posted it on YouTube. I’m not promising to do this every week but I’m interested to see if it is a helpful thing to do. So if you’re interested in watching the podcast you can do so here.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1p9tIC3FBc

Over to You

Do you find yourself on the hedonic treadmill? Can you think of a time when something wonderful happened and you soon adapted to it and took the new situation for granted? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please leave your response in the comments below.

Patreon

There is a Patreon page for this podcast. This allows you to communicate your support for the show and encourage me to remain consistent in the creation of this content and in constantly seeking to take it to the next level. I am so incredibly thankful to those of you who continue to listen every week and for those of you decide to show your support by becoming a Patreon supporter (list of supporters here).

 

Humans are wonderful at quickly adapting to new realities. It's an ability that has been key to our survival as a species.

"The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes."

I'm fascinated by the way this plays out in our lives.

A New Season: The Old Hedonic Treadmill

This year I achieved a major goal I had set for myself, which was to run 10km. Not a big deal for some people, but a big enough deal for me. It took me just under 6 months to get from an uncomfortable 2km run to a comfortable 10km.

The hedonic treadmill was with me all the way. The increased distances would bring a spike of joy followed by a return to a stable level at the 'new normal'.

It is only because I tracked my progress that I was able to have perspective. I could see how far I'd come and the hedonic treadmill was slowed (as I was running on the real treadmill). I used an Evernote template that Michael Hyatt provides for tracking goals.

Having 'Key Motivations' written above the goal that spurred me on and gave me the focus to create a new goal afterwards. We have a tendency towards more and more, rather than better.

In this episode I share 6 new ways you can approach the hedonic treadmill. By changing how we understand and relate to it in our lives we can find a greater sense of enjoyment and satisfaction.

* Track Your Progress In The Background

* Celebrate Your Wins

* Move the Goalposts

* Know The Difference Between a Feeling and a Reason

* Withhold Pleasure

* Actively Engage Gratitude

Watch the Podcast

This week I filmed the recording of the podcast and have posted it on YouTube. I'm not promising to do this every week but I'm interested to see if it is a helpful thing to do. So if you're interested in watching the podcast you can do so here.

httpvh://youtu.be/x1p9tIC3FBc

Over to You

Do you find yourself on the hedonic treadmill? Can you think of a time when something wonderful happened and you soon adapted to it and took the new situation for granted? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please leave your response in the comments below.

Patreon

There is a Patreon page for this podcast. This allows you to communicate your support for the show and encourage me to remain consistent in the creation of this content and in constantly seeking to take it to the next level. I am so incredibly thankful to those of you who continue to listen every week and for those of you decide to show your support by becoming a Patreon supporter (list of supporters here).

 

What stops you from allowing your natural creativity to really shine through and get expressed?

Highly Sensitive People are often by nature very creative.

It's such an important part of our thinking and our natural way of being, but it can be eroded over time when we feel those wider pressures to conform and fit in.

Gentle Rebels and Creative Mindset

When we consider being highly sensitive as a problem to be fixed rather than a trait to be enjoyed we may hide our creativity, ignore those drives and instincts, and eventually lose sight of one of our most precious gifts.

Highly Sensitive People see the world differently, feel it very deeply, prefer not to simply consume what has been made but to imagine what’s possible, and are often able to acheive flow fairly easily.

That’s where creative expression tends to come from - our relationship to the world and how we experience it. HSPs and introverts are naturally disposed to creativity BECAUSE we take things inward. And when things go in they have to come back out in some way. That might be in the form of unhelpful destructive behaviour, or it might take the shape of positive, creative expression.

There is so much within you that needs to be expressed. Only when you allow your creativity to flow freely into the stuff you do, say and make, you can make big things happen with small gestures, wherever you are, whatever you notice that needs change.

What might stop HSPs from feeling, being, and doing creativity in our lives? In this episode I expand on the two sides of the potential answers I identified:

External:

1. People Pleasing

2. It’s cheaper and easier to buy

3. Inadequacy and Perfectionism

4. Definitions of Creativity

Internal:

1. Overwhelm

2. Confronting the Shadows

3. Fear of Success

Highly sensitive creative people are a gift to the world. They have voices that are needed more than ever because they whisper truth into the chaos and confusion. To be creative is to allow yourself to see the world as you see it, and to respond to that in whatever way compels you.

Creativity is the attitude and the motive, not the product.

Over to You

Out of these 7 factors, which is the biggest hurdle to you feeling like you can express your creative spirit? Is there anything else that gets in the way for you?