My daughter came home from preschool and told me a student teacher almost made her cry.
She used her words. She told me how she felt. She advocated for herself.
She did EXACTLY what I’ve spent years teaching her to do.
And my first thought wasn’t “I’m proud of you.”
It was: “I’m a horrible mother for letting that happen.”
Because here’s the thing—she doesn’t HAVE to go to this preschool. I could pull her out. I could homeschool her. I could BE there to protect her, to save her, to BE her voice.
But I need this time. I need the space. The sanity. The ability to breathe.
And she needs peer interaction. She needs to learn to navigate the world without me hovering.
But knowing that doesn’t make the guilt go away.
In this episode, I’m getting brutally honest about:
-The moment my daughter told me she was upset at school (and the guilt that hit me like a truck).
-Why I feel like a bad mom for “letting it happen”.
-The impossible choice between protecting her and preparing her.
-How I’ve empowered her to speak up—and why watching her do it without me is terrifying.
-The need for space and sanity as a mother (and the guilt that comes with it).
-Why you can’t be your child’s voice forever (even though you desperately want to be).
-The conversion from savior to equipper—and why it hurts so much.
This episode connects to everything we’ve talked about:
“My Daughter Came to Teach”—she’s teaching me to let go
“The Fire Was Always There”—I’m giving her fire, but fire means she might get burned
“The Women in My Bones”—breaking the pattern of silencing daughters to keep them safe
“Heal While Holding Them”—my childhood wounds are triggered when she hurts
“The Double-Edged Sword”—empowerment means she’ll face conflict I can’t control
“Marriage & Conversion”—letting go of control in parenting just like in partnership
Here’s what I’m learning:
You can’t protect your child from discomfort AND teach them resilience.
You can’t be their voice forever AND empower them to speak for themselves.
You can’t save them from every hard moment AND prepare them for a world where you won’t always be there.
Empowerment means discomfort. For them. And for you.
It means teaching them to speak up—and then stepping back and letting them do it without you.
It means watching them struggle, knowing you could swoop in and fix it, and choosing not to.
It means feeling like the worst parent in the world because you’re letting them fall.
But here’s the truth I’m trying to hold onto:
Letting them fall isn’t failing them. It’s preparing them.
Giving them a voice and then trusting them to use it—that’s not neglect. That’s love.
Needing space and sanity as a mother doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you human.
And teaching your daughter that she can survive discomfort, that her voice matters, that she doesn’t need you to fight every battle—that’s not abandonment.
That’s the greatest gift you can give her.
Even when it breaks your heart to watch.
This is Episode 22 of The GIRL Pursuit, and it’s about the hardest part of raising an empowered child: letting her practice being empowered without you.
💬 Comment below: Have you ever felt like a bad parent for letting your kid struggle? What was the situation? How did you handle the guilt?
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