The Glengarry Glen Ross Minute

“Where is Winegardner Wheezing” is discussed as a dynamic future podcast endeavor. Matt thinks Bill’s death is a beautiful bird. Bill is so excited to share his new jingle and Matt is… mildly amused by it. Matt bemoans having to drag Bill towards success.Matt suggests “Dusty Gasses” as a band name. Bill is suspicious about eating potatoes grown in Martian shit-piles. Bill’s shoulders taper like an evil villain which inspires Matt to suggest that Bill would make a fantastic Williamson. Unquantifiable units of time are a very useful tool in a salesman’s bag of tricks. Ricky is the only one that can give Matt an ASMR response and Bill judges him for it. Pat Morita gets his corral assignment. Jonathan Pryce gets his testicles dabbed with rosewater yet again. Ricky loves talking about train compartments and seems to have an extrasensory, k-9 awareness about the immediate future. The odd timing of the interrogations catch the fellas attention again. Here comes Ricky with his “3 days” bullshit again. Baylen is fucking hungry and he would like to get some lunch, but, as the Ricky-ism states, Rick will be with him “in a while.” Matt shit-talks the cops. Bill fancies himself a bit of a detective. Matt wonders why Bill doesn't know something that is such a part of our cultural fabric. The boys debate who were the better TV cops, CHiPs or Adam 12. Matt apologizes to the lunch box people.

Bill doesn’t know exactly where his microphone is and Matt says he probably shouldn’t be using a microphone in the first place. Bill’s alter-ego-hip-hop-mogul, origin story is born. We are overjoyed to present to you all, Mr. “li'l Silver.” Matt loves the carol the 12 Days of Christmas, but could stand a few more Dancin’ Ladies. Tarot gets some love. Ricky softly says “tell you something,” but what he’s really saying is “Sell you something…” Jonathan “nice” Pryce has got some range. Ricky’s darting eyes are tell-tale signs of the shit-storm that’s about to come rolling out of Williamson’s office. Pulling a Zumbo (going to get a drink if things are getting weird) is discussed in some detail. Zumbo implores the audience to make adult-drink suggestions for 2dubs. Li'l Ricky just wants to play ball in the house. Ricky’s “You know me” after 12 hours of being a mild acquaintance, is amusing. Baylen is a third wheel for the B, love-story. The fellas engage in some “extraordinary” GGGR, world-expanding imaginings. Matt has to explain to Bill that one mustn’t just play a jingle.

Bill interviews JoAnn Foley, Office Production Assistant on Glengarry Glenn Ross. She shares lots of juicy info and tidbits from the set along with some great anecdotes and memories of the cast.

Bill is always doing a podcast with himself, in his head. Matt doesn’t care for that particular podcast. Bill promises a heapin’, helpin’ of common decency with every friendship. The fellas apparently don’t remember podcasting several moments in the film, nor do they remember entire segments of their own creation… and one of them is very sober. Marky Mark would make a terrible subconscious. Matt is unimpressed by the minute this week. The fellas talk salesmen… AGAIN. Matt once got Roma’d by a sneaker kid. Bill displays impressive mathematics skills and Matt ALMOST gets to praise him for it. Fountain pen nib tips are starting to get discussed almost as much as Spannel’s giant baby on this podcast. The Swedish Chef comes by for absolutely no reason. Matt contends there is NO defense of Ginny Lingk. The fellas diverge into a fairly major Housekeeping segment. Ricky is so attentive and compassionate with Jimmy in this minute. Apparently we are all gods speaking things into existence. The fellas take a moment to eulogize Dave Moss. The fellas spend a few long minutes on the topic of Mr. Pacino’s hair. "Righteous Kill" splits the fellas just a bit further. 2Dubs throws in another Housekeeping segment, that actually isn’t a Housekeeping segment at all and this literally drives Matt mad. Bill then provides the sweet, sweet opiate of a Quote Corner to quell Matt’s agitation, and it works!?

At long last, without further adieu, the fellas finally present the greatly anticipated, oft ballyhooed comedian themed #WWTP.Sit back and enjoy as the boys use the humor of actually funny people to further obscure their own ineptitude. Enjoy!

Cord-cutting patter, starts the discussion this week. The fellas wonder what life would be like if LeBron lived next door with Wayne. Bill is drunk on his own pain. Heavyweight title bout, “Glenister Vs. Mason, The Argument at Parliament” gets some talk. The fellas get to a WWTP early, in the aid of one Mr. Walter Matthau. Bill would prefer to be the Shi-poo-pi guy. Matt, acting as both Sean Bradley apologist and Hillbilly advocate, ushers us through another award winning numerology segment. Baylen starts the real monosyllabic fun. The boys wonder why the interrogation of D.Ray/Shelly took no time at all. Baylen is NOT Ricky’s friend. Where is Jimmy Lingk going in such a hurry? The fellas cast Leonard Nimoy and discuss Spock’s potential prowess in the boudoir. Ricky promises anything you want, except for that one thing that you want. Salesmen and strippers, work within the same parameters. Bill is never allowed to name a strip club. Matt brings the eclectic and surprising 2019 Hollywood Walk Of Fame class to the table. Congrats to Mr. Arkin. Listen as the fellas explore what Alan Arkin’s take on Al Capone might sound like.

Apologies. The write-up guy is celebrating his independence today, The Como Inn, a friend.He does, however, implore you to enjoy this week’s Episode thru the miasma of patriotism.

Lotta Baldwin to start things off this week. Mid-afternoon meals and going to them is discussed at length. Bill loves the acting in this minute. Baylen was probably getting a little anti-Semitic in that back office. Shame on you Baylen. All George wants to do is work. Williamson has no idea when the sales force needs a snack. John is a Cheetos vendor. The Gestapo really put the polish on anti-semitism. Ghallager makes a return. Matt puts out a reminder that Bill was against WWTP early on in the podcast. Everyone wants George to leave the room. Alan Arkin killed his acting exercise. Ricky and Rory go on a sit. #Donaldson. Matt brings the longest quote corner you’ve ever heard. Bill doesn't care for religious shapeshifting in his GGGR. The fellas realize that they’ve just been doing an excruciatingly long talk-back this whole time and Mamet now has more reasons to hate them. Bill’s default resting face is one of concern.

This is an official warning: At moments in this episode, Matt’s level of frustration with Bill reaches “P-dupes-2.” Matt is offended by Bill’s big belly dance AND his pate. Bill doesn't care about the GGGR Minute uniform and Matt is less-than-pleased about that. In any case, Matt looks great in his uniform. Bill is an ersatz syphilis and he references vajazzling out of nowhere, so 2dubs is still doing 2dubs things. Blah blah, Rodman, blah blah. The fellas finally settle into this dizzying minute. Ricky’s word salad is well tossed. “GGGR Phrases, The Soup” is born. Jude Ciccolella makes a triumphant return as Baylen and brings all the shit that the fan can handle with him. Matt hates the audition monitor, and Bill loves to monitor auditions, and this alone is all you ever need know about them. The VERY judgmental audition monitor is born. The fellas praise the camera work in this minute. We all collectively ask, “Who the fuck is Donaldson?” But the mere mention of him ushers in the return of Glenister, so, WELL worth it. Matt gets really upset with Bill, again. The fellas try to mend fences with a Housekeeping. For better or worse, the Kapono-cast is becoming more and more a reality.

Bill’s mouth noises have Matt on edge and not just his words this time. The fellas compare the podcast to different kinds of hugs. Bill’s pelvis abhors a Hoover. Kopono’s number confounds the boys. The fellas contemporize a long standing sports nickname. Matt talks glowingly about “Arrival” but Bill hates the space squids. Ricky’s attempted misdirects are absolutely laughable in that he doesn’t understand how days work.Bill fills us in on John H. McGlinchy, whoever he is. Ricky Roma prank calls a pizza shop, much to the chagrin of the pizza shop proprietor. Matt wants to sing Jonathan Pryce’s praises. The fellas take Spielberg down a few pegs cause, someone’s got to. The boys are back to arguing about “The Edge.” Matt loves starting from an adversarial place. The boys cast Richard Dryfus cause Bill hates Holly Hunter. Bill drops a few names and spies a muscled republican, on a bike while on vacation. Matt gets concerned about the moral aptitude of the folks in the corral.