The Goalmouth: Bite-size soccer news

Manchester United are sort of kind of the Champions of Europe, the Chilean FA are either reckless tweeters or brilliant Twitter trolls, one Eintracht Frankfurt player learns that tattoos can be painful in more than one way, Bobby Wood is staying in the Bundesliga and another American might soon be joining him, and the USA get a win at the U20 World Cup!

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Police raids for Barcelona and PSG, Real Madrid buys the Brazilian Freddy Adu, Diego Maradona gets pwned by a Korean teenager, and Tyrone Mings just wants to touch the ball.

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Bravo to the US U20s, Atlanta's wunderkind makes his MLS debut, the all-new Antoine Griezmann transfer gossip rating scale, the Disneyfication of Portsmouth Football Club, and how Leonardo Bonucci made his son cry.

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Cristiano Ronaldo insists he's not a devil, John Terry steals the show, the Liga MX final is set, an unexpected tribute for Francesco Totti, and the robot bodyguard of the 2018 World Cup.

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Ryan Bailey guides you through today's soccer tidbits! This week's sponsor is X1 Fuel—a formula for before and after your workouts with no chemical ingredients, fillers, or excess sugars. Use the code "GOALMOUTH" at checkout for $10 off any order! X1 FUEL For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

Monaco are your new Ligue 1 champions and I now shudder to think how much money PSG will spend this summer to rectify that... No matter what happens in the Championship playoff final, Americans have even more reasons to watch the Premier League next season… Walter Mazarri and Watford part ways in roughly the same way that Fredo and the Corleone family did in The Godfather Part II… Inter Milan probably won't be triggering the buyout clause in Mauricio Pochettino's Tottenham Contract… and the transfer rumor mill has kicked into gear.

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Mallory Pugh signs with the worst NWSL team, Bayern threatens to sue newspaper over transfer rumor, chances of a BPL playoff, Bebeto's baby signs for Sporting Lisbon, England vs. Spain in UEFA U-17 threedux, and the most amazing own goal you might ever see.

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Chelsea crowned, Sunil Gulati challenged, Nacho thinks fast, Virtual Reality soccer in the Champions League final, and Ryan Hollingshead is back where he belongs.

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A slew of new champions, Carli Lloyd continues her Wembley domination, the final four is set in Liguilla, James says goodbye to Real Madrid?, and Ezequiel Lavezzi apologizes for being incredibly dumb.

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Man United are embarrassing! Swansea players are generous! Fabian Johnson is under contract! Cristiano Ronaldo is very rich! And the college team who are heading towards the Europa League! Ryan Bailey takes you through today's bite-sized soccer news. For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V