The Gris Alves’ Podcast Tales of Recovery

No one likes to say anything about this but doesn't family often feel like a cult? It's hard to escape it since you are born into it. Then the ongoing message that family comes first and always and over everything else can get a little overboard. Do parents really own us? Setting boundaries with family can sometimes feel more like an escape tactic and if you dare say anything delicate about the family 'secrets' you will be shamed to death but probably still not be allowed to leave... How can we explore this without freaking out and begin to heal the skeletons in the closet? How can we transform the way we love instead of adoring or require adoration from our kids?  Are they really born to serve and honor us or are they here to be our teachers and companions on this incarnation journey? 

If we can notice, acknowledge and heal the intergenerational dysfunctional blueprint that "family" says is a must, perhaps we can renew the way we see relationships in general and maybe just maybe, have an actual family gathering where no one gets too drunk because they can't deal, too anxious, or triggered into a 20 yr old argument for Pete's sake!

This episode of Tales of Recovery is inspired by Chapter 7 of Bruce Sanguin's book Dismantled. In it, he states that the moment humans shifted from village life to nuclear family, trouble started.  Elder Malidoma Some writes about village life in Burkino Faso. Still today, every child has multiple mothers and fathers. The boundaries between families are more porous. Everything is on public display. In the age of nuclear family, generational trauma and the violence of parents against their children are hidden from public view.  If somebody wanted to create an institution in which emotional, physical and sexual abuse could thrive, the family as we know it in the West would fit the bill. 

In effect, they hate us in practice and love us in theory and induce us to believe them when they define hate as love. The consequent mystification, confusion, and conflict continue to devastate marriages, families and each generation of children.  - R. D. Laing 

Sarah Knapp, daughter, vocalist and Alzheimer's groupie joins me today on this episode of Tales of Recovery as we talk about the Gift that Alzheimer's has given her.  Her dad was diagnosed with this disease soon after her parent's divorced.  We have a soulful and raw conversation on how this difficult and painful experience of caring for our elderly and ill parents has opened up opportunities to dance with death and really breathe in the gift of life, love, looking inwards into our own shadow, and gaining a renewed perspective. 

Sarah is a beautiful soul, an amazing singer-songwriter and one of the founders of the San Diego Chapter of the Women's Resistance Revival Chorus ~(@sdresistancerevialchorus) You can follow her and her dad's journey on her Instagram @everythingtrueisfree 

What happens after a huge deconstruction of belief systems? The grief and anger of going through the process of a spiritual breakdown and realizing that the G.O.D. and certain stories and creeds I grew up and was programmed to believe were a fraud? It took me years to 1)speak up about my doubts and anxiety about non-inclusive faiths, and 2) once I did speak up all hell broke loose (no pun intended)!I felt like a rug was swiped from under my feet.  The journey of grief is no joke.  It takes courage and it takes time.  For a long time I could not say the word G.O.D. because I felt like a hypocrite- and my kids felt something similar.  What to do when you quit a religion?  After two years of interfaith spiritual direction, Thanatology and Spiritual Intelligence courses, YTT, and seeking silence and contemplative practices like mindfulness and mediation PLUS digging deep into listening to my Higher Self: I can finally say the GOD word and feel relief at the fact that I'm not cringing. PTSD is for real.  Now, you can call it Universe, Spirit, Love, Reality, Mother Earth, Consciousness etc: it is just another language for something so BIG not even the name can describe this Creation Power.  No wonder the Israelites did not mention the 'name'.  My process of RE-covery so far with this longing for more and the expansion of my spirit on this week's episode of Tales of Recovery~  May you know you are never alone in doubting, May you find the courage to speak up and find YOUR way~

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Tamara L. Falicov joins me on this episode of Tales of Recovery to talk about her experience in Cuba as a medical traveler during the late 80's while her Father was battling cancer. We talk about her experience as a 17 year old traveling with a deep purpose and an underlying fear of the unknown in the then prohibited for Americans, Republic of Cuba.  She was given only six hours to enter and then leave the Republic.  With courage and the mission to help her father heal, she discovered a curiosity about the US government ban of such generous and beautiful humans in Cuba that were so willing to help her family.  Tamara's travel experience birthed her becoming a young community activist, a compassionate hospice volunteer and a study abroad faculty member and scholar.  Tamara is a dear friend and soul sister of mine  as well as an Author, Professor at the Department of Film and Media Studies, Center for Latin American and Caribbean Studies, Associate Dean for Research, Arts and the Humanities at the University of Kansas.  Listen in and be inspired by her story.  

Golden and I talk talk all things on waking up to the super life that has been controlled by outside forces- culture, family, government, patriarchy all of it.  I read one of her latest posts in Instagram and the words were jumping right out of my bones.  I read it on the podcast but check it out here:

Awakening is a revolutionary act nowadays. it’s tricky, the system is designed to be comfortable only for ppl on auto pilot. they don’t want us awake & conscious bc it’s easier to control folks who are sleepwalking thru life, caught up in the capitalistic game. they want us stuck on survival mode, fighting each other, & jonesing for more more more. most of us are on survival mode yet don’t actually know how to survive, let alone thrive. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

OK. So we got together and this is our conversation. We go deep, we laugh a lot and Tequila the Min-Pin pup is barking in the background here and there.   Get your cup of tea and listen in and be inspired by this beautiful Soul's RE-covery of life and liberation.  You can follow her wise and loving journey on Instagram @goldenawakening and on her YouTube channel as Goldenawakening~

What's the deal with being a 'good girl'? Wouldn't you rather be a badass? The problem with the social programming of behavior control and trying to be "good".. which implies that we are bad to begin with as well as fuel the I am not enough epidemic!  What can we Re-cover as we rediscover this unwarranted need to be a freaking 'good girl' BS? In my opinion? Liberation and empowerment.  YES. Listen up and let me know what you'd rather BE?

Mary BG is my guest on this week's episode of Tales of Recovery. Mary is a blogger, social media strategist, author of Dead Dad's Club book, single mom of tween daughters and the creator of the Mama Mary Show.  Mary is one of the coolest, funniest and smartest chicks I know.  We played volleyball together while we were in High School and today, many years later, we have reconnected to talk about the real, raw, honest and difficult but crazy good road of recovery.  Listen in and be inspired by her story of hope, and transformation, then follow her journey on instagram and twitter @mamamaryshow and at www.mamamaryshow.com.  

Dave Rivas is an Activist, Artist, Theater Producer, Playwright.  Dave is the creator of "Historias Tenebrosas", producer of Amigos del Rep, has served with Border Angels and you might have seen him playing "Cholo Satan" in "La Pastorela". He's not only educating and inspiring through theatre but is also helping people find their voice!  Be inspired by his story of Recovery from alcoholism, his transformation through his creative process and giving so much value to our Chicanos, Mexicans, Latinos and Humans in general though this life's work.  

What are the societal, patriarchal, religious rules that are ruining you? UNLEARNING and breaking oppressing rules has been a key process in my life and in my journey of RE-covery. Recovering our life might take a sacred rage and a fighting against the machine, domestication and imposed expectations that might just not suit our purpose in this life.  A bit of my warranted rebellion shows up on this podcast- it is an invitation to explore the belief systems that have held you back from evolving and the capacity to grow in self love, self acceptance and the journey of your soul here on earth~   I am just a pilgrim passing through , this is my voice.  May we be well. May we have peace. May this be of benefit to many. 

Tales of Recovery guest Kallan Ludder is an amazing intuitive graphic designer, psychologist, shadow alchemist and has a magic that I have experienced first hand and am ever grateful for.  Listen in on our conversaion of her life story and how she is sharing her beauty and intuitive branding and guidance with the world~ Follow her @interkalacticspacebeing or on her webpage www.gobeyouniverse.com