The Grow Your Salon Fast Show

Where do you start when you're faced with 27 piles of dogshit on your kitchen floor? And how is that related to getting more clients into your business? In this episode we rap about where to start, how to start, and that overwhelming drowning feeling you have before you start. And there's a shout out to a listener in the brilliantly-named town of Cockermouth in the far north of England. Is it you?

In Vegard's opinion, Kat would benefit from testosterone shots. Kat's not so sure, although she's sure Vegard should just nod his head and say yes to anything she says. Vegard thinks 'Crossfitters' look ridiculous, and Kat thinks Vegard should take a look at himself in the mirror when he's at the gym, before he passes comment. We go deep into the bad, bad, feelings you have when a client complains about your price, and address the issue of charging higher prices than your competitors. Get hot and sweaty with us in this episode.

Kat's puppy is going through puberty. Already. So it's a madhouse at hers. Meanwhile, Vegard is feeling a bit weepy. Death in the family? No. Hormonal? No. Something to do with a pram. Where's the value? Well actually, we give away a lot in this episode, more than usual. There's more nuggets here than on a daggy sheep.

This week we're all about suppression, the law of attraction, seminar junkies, the Secret, abortion, drinking, and a whole load of other random bollocks. Listen in only if you're committed and decisive...

Vegard has a new convertible, but it's only for princesses, how many has he had in it so far? Kat's pool has closed due to a code brown, that's a bummer in the summer in the glitterpit for sure. Not as painful as a new puppy though, and it's from that pain a new trick was discovered: Trigger Stacking. Or why your bad day just gets worse and worse. Discover the two choices you can make in this entertaining episode.

Heard about the client who had her colour done, after much time and attention in the chair, and then went and fucked it up with silver shampoo? And then went back to the salon and blamed them? What would do if a client did that to you? Or indeed if any client didn't follow your explicit instructions for any service or treatment? And what are you buying when you buy a hole in the wall? No glory hole jokes puhleeease. And you rather have a husband or a naked handyman fix the problem? Find out the answers to these and many other random ramblings here.

If you have a big decision to make there's one piece of advice you should know before you commit, simple but effective, and you can say you've heard it here first.

We also talk, cars, cats, puppies and monster trucks, and how Kat's husband is trying to kill her...

What's in a name?

More to the point, what's in a name of a business? And why has Vegard got the sexiest voice alive?

We bust the myths of your business being different from any other industry, but conversely how to stand out from the crowd. Confused? Us to.

Discover why farming cows is no different to injecting botox, and why industry regulation sucks balls, in Kat's opinion, in this scintillating episode.

Oh, and we have a really cool offer for you, so stay to the end.

What do you call a boat with a hole in it? A submarine. Vegard's family legacy springs a leak, Kat has a new addition to the family, and did you hear about the cat who peed on electrical outlets?!! You know you need to get things done right? But how are you going to do everything you want when the staff go sick, or your schedule is full? Kat and Vegard give you a golden tip to have more time, that works. And you get permission to be more selfish.

Hot on the heels of the most boring podcast ever, Kat and Vegard up their game and go for the soft, quivering, underbelly of the hard of thinking. That is, how to deal with the morons in your life, who have everything to say about nothing relevant. There's also a kindergarten graduation, a 70th and relationship breakup thrown in. More drama than daytime TV.