Do you know the difference between your guts and balloon animals? Organs are ever-so slightly more flame resistant!

On today’s episode:  you’ll learn how to squeeze every penny out of a beloved animal corpse; I’ll accidentally teach you why fire is the best way to get rid of leaves, or a body; and you’ll learn the surprisingly simple thing you should do if you found yourself full-bodied origamied into debris.

And if you were listening to this as a Patreon supporter, you get to enjoy an additional 8 minutes where we discuss: two warm up disasters that lead to this one; how close medicine cabinets used to be narcotic liquor cabinets; the incredible fallout of trying to kill people on Twinkies; and the story of high fallutin’ wild west rodeo “war hero” Buffalo Bill Cody

I’m quick to point out to listeners that I don’t like doing episodes where children or animals are hurt, and I’m happy to report the only things dying in this episode are 86 fully grown adults! (And a few animals, I’m sorry, it happens).

However, at the very end of this episode, I really let it go to hell. First I tell you about an elephant that unplugged itself and created a minor panic that my parents may or may not have named my sister after – immediately followed by a barrage dog, bird, car and plane noises all competing to make it unlistenable, but I did it for a very good reason as you will see. Without getting too deeply into it, I have said pretty much since the beginning of this show that we need to keep as many listeners alive and safe as we can. A lot of times, that just means talking.

If you or someone you know is in a bad place and struggling, please don't hesitate to reach out. There are people ready to help.

In Canada, Talk Suicide Canada at 1-833-456-4566 (Available 24/7) or text 45645, or visit www.crisisservicescanada.ca. For youth and young adults, there is also Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868.

In the United States, you can call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: just dial 988 (Available 24/7) or you can text HOME to 741741

In the UK, you can reach the Samaratins at 116 123.

Obviously, this kind of thing is not that much fun to contemplate, but have you listened to this show before? We do our damndest to put a smile on some pretty awful stuff, but a face can only stretch so much. Please take care of yourself.

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