This is the closest thing to a free coaching call we have put on the show. I sat Cam down, played the part of the client he gets constantly (ambitious, most things handled, love life going nowhere), and made him work through it out loud.

His starting point is not what any dating influencer would tell you. He is direct about the fact that some things about you cannot be changed, and equally direct about the one thing that can be, which he says outweighs all of it.

I told on myself in the middle of it. The first thirty walks I ever hosted nearly broke me, and I explain the specific thing I was doing to myself in those parking lots that turned a room full of lovely people into people I resented.

In this episode:

- The tiny promise Cam has people keep first, before touching diet, gym, career, or anything else, and what it is actually building

- The practice he calls Solitude 60, and the uncomfortable thing he says starts surfacing once the distractions are gone

- The list I want you to write after this, which is not the checklist you think it is, and the one brutal question you ask yourself once it is finished

His closing line about who all of this works for, regardless of what you look like, is the funniest and most honest thing in the episode.

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thehoganshow.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thehoganshow.substack.com

This is the story people on the walks will not let me stop telling halfway through.

I asked Cam one morning how he would feel about going five days without a shower. He was doing three or four a day, and had been for as long as I had known him. He said he could never. Then he said, and now I have to.

What came out of him on night one, unprompted, while he was lying there unable to get into our bed, is a memory from when he was four. He was almost in tears. He had never told me.

Day two is where it gets strange. A silent car ride, a sauna, and a version of him I had never once met in our whole relationship.

In this episode:

- What he did in that sauna that made me realize I was not talking to the adult version of my partner anymore

- How we ended up at an Olive Garden that afternoon, unshowered, and what happened in the parking lot before we even walked in

- What he said in the car on the way home, windows down, that made me cry

There is also the thing he caught himself doing on day three that had nothing to do with his body and everything to do with our house.

And a question I want you to sit with when this is over: what is your four showers a day?

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thehoganshow.substack.com

This episode came out of a week of messages landing in my inbox from people who knew me in other chapters of my life, telling me I am being stupid, that I am setting things back, that I am smarter than this.

I explain on here exactly why they got to me, and it has nothing to do with them. It goes back to a group of girls I had known since preschool and one afternoon in a high school classroom, with the whole room watching.

Before that, I finally tell the full story of the relationship my friends had to intervene on. It got as far as him approaching them about proposing to me. What I now understand about my own behavior during those months, and what Cam says it always means when someone does it, is the part I would want a friend to hear.

In this episode:

- The rule Cam gives about what you are actually admitting when you edit the story of your relationship for the people closest to you

- Why he says the people around you almost always take the side of the person who reminds them of themselves, using a real example from his own family

- The question to run any piece of unsolicited advice through before you let it change a single thing

He also relays what his father said the very first sentence after meeting me. No greeting, no preamble. I still think about it.

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thehoganshow.substack.com

I walked in on him in the bathroom and thought I saw a dating app on his phone. I shut the door, walked away, and ran a process in my head that I have practiced for years before I said one word to him.

That process is the spine of this episode. It is a short logic tree that tells me whether to speak now, or wait, or let it go entirely, and it has saved me from more unnecessary blowups than anything else I do. I lay the whole thing out.

Cam's half starts with a comment he made about my phone at eleven thirty at night that he regretted immediately. What he was really reacting to is not what he said, and how we untangled it the next morning in the kitchen is the model.

Then he gets uncomfortably honest about the one thing I do daily that he cannot reconcile with anything he believes about health, and confesses to something he has quietly wished for about it.

In this episode:

- The three-part test I run before deciding whether a feeling is worth voicing, and which category means you speak immediately

- Why Cam says bringing something up a month later is uniquely destabilizing for men, and what happens instead

- The thing he admits he has caught himself wanting, which he says applies to almost every argument people have

Also: what I promised him I would do about it, and when.

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board

This is the communication episode people keep asking us for, and we did it as a workshop rather than a lecture.

I take you through a body scan on the air so you can do it along with me. It is the thing I actually use to figure out which emotion I am in before I say anything, and it takes two minutes.

Cam then makes an argument about men and feelings that is going to annoy people on both sides. He describes the wall men used to be, the dump truck many have become, and the narrow thing in between that he says almost nobody teaches.

Then we act out real scenarios. The forgotten dinner. The overflowing trash. And a bigger one, where he comes home drunk and hours late without a word.

In this episode:

- What I say to a man the night he does not follow through, and why Cam says being met that way makes him want to do more, not less

- The three-times rule I use to decide whether something is a one-off or a pattern, and what changes once it crosses that line

- The one thing I deliberately leave out of the hard conversation, even though I noticed it, and what happens because I stayed quiet on it

He also names the moment a man is at his most vulnerable, which is not when you think, and what a woman does in that window that either binds him to her or ends things quietly.

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thehoganshow.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thehoganshow.substack.com

This one starts with a confession I did not plan to make. I admitted on air that I have been unconsciously holding my stomach in for most of my life, and I walked us both through the moment I noticed it. What surprised me was not the habit. It was what the habit had been doing to my posture in every relationship I have ever been in.

From there we go straight into the hot takes, and Cam gets bold. He argues that men and women are running completely different clocks on commitment, that the milestones women light candles for barely register on his side, and that only one event actually moves the needle. He also admits how many women he brought home to his parents, and the signal he would send his mom in advance.

Three things I keep thinking about:

- The women at the club who are dressed the best, standing the tallest, and getting approached the least. Cam explains exactly what that is, and it is not what you would guess.

- Two ways to ask a man for the same thing. One of them makes him do it for life. The other makes him never do it again. Cam confirms he is living proof of both.

- Why I do not think you should share every feeling with your partner, and the 11pm text that made Cam demonstrate the healthy alternative live.

There is a hammer metaphor in the back half that I have not been able to shake since we recorded it.

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board

This is the hot takes episode, and it goes somewhere neither of us planned when we hit record.

Cam starts by arguing that men are far simpler than we have been taught, and that almost every question a woman asks about a man can be answered by looking at one thing and ignoring another. It sounds obvious until he applies it to the specific excuses we all make, and then it stops being comfortable.

We go back and forth about availability, about the difference between having a full life and performing one, and about why the month where he genuinely did not know where he stood with me may have been the most important month of our entire relationship.

Three things worth staying for:

- The distinction Cam makes between a man wanting a challenge in dating and wanting one in a relationship. I pushed back hard, and then he changed my mind.

- What he says the phrase "I don't know yet" really means coming from a man, based on his own past behavior. He does not soften it.

- The story I tell in the back half about a night I ignored my own intuition, what I sent him the next morning, and what he said when he called me back.

I also explain why I made a specific decision about dating after that, and what I found when I went looking for the reason my head had scrambled. Cam's reaction to hearing the whole story out loud is the part I keep replaying.

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thehoganshow.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thehoganshow.substack.com

This is the one where I finally sit down and explain what I actually mean when I say masculine and feminine energy, because I say it constantly on the walks and on my timeline and I have never once slowed down to define it.

I start with the definition, then I do something harder. I trace my own imbalance all the way back to my childhood dinner table, to a father who was physically there for everything and emotionally there for almost none of it, and to the exact lesson I absorbed about what makes a woman worth choosing. That lesson followed me onto every date I went on for years.

Three things I would stay for:

- The ten second self check I give in the middle of this episode. If your answer is what mine used to be, you are out of balance, and the fix starts with something almost embarrassingly small.

- Cam's blunt reaction to the high achieving version of me at twenty one, and why he says that energy is the single least attractive thing a man encounters after his own workday.

- The thing that happened to Cam's career the moment he started intentionally doing nothing. He had been convinced he was capped. He was not.

There is also a small demonstration near the end where we act out two versions of the same sentence about taking out the trash. One of them starts a fight. The other one ends before it begins.

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thehoganshow.substack.com

This is the episode where Cam tells the whole story: the year abroad, the injury he hid from his family, and the phone call that he says was the rock bottom of his life.

I asked him things I had never asked him before. Whether he saw it coming at all. Whether he had ever done it himself. Where exactly in the timeline he stopped calling her the villain and started looking at his own hands. His answer to that last one is uncomfortable, and it is the reason I think this episode matters.

Three things worth staying for:

- The small domestic habit Cam identifies as the thing that quietly told her she was not safe with him. It is almost embarrassingly minor and I have not stopped thinking about it.

- What he says happens to a man's respect for a woman when she takes him back after he has hurt her, and why he insists the same thing happened to him in reverse.

- The exact conditions I told a woman on the walk to set if she takes a man back. Two of them. One is about words. The other one changes everything.

There is also the thing Cam said to me over text the day after he told me he loved me, and why my reaction to it is, I think, the whole reason we are here now.

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thehoganshow.substack.com

This is the episode about dating burnout, and I do not think the burnout is coming from the dates.

Cam and I take apart the hours of work people are putting in before they ever meet: the research, the workshopped texts, the mind movies. He explains how he could always tell, and what it did to him. I explain what all of that does to the moment you finally sit down across from someone, and why the disappointment afterward is so much heavier than it should be.

Three things worth staying for:

- Cam's one sentence test for whether the person you are with is actually your person. It has nothing to do with compatibility, and I had never heard it put that way.

- What he says a woman's anxious energy communicates to a man, including the ten percent of men who are specifically looking for it.

- The story I tell in the back half about a red eye flight, why I did not press the call button, and what I did instead. This one is hard for me. I have never told it publicly before.

There is also a moment where I describe a happy hour where I said almost nothing for forty five minutes and left two men shaken. What I did instead of talking is the thing I would teach every woman first.

For the ongoing version of these conversations, explore The Board: https://www.theboardwalks.com/the-board