The Hole Shebang

Retirement planning is about far more than a savings number. In this final installment of The Hole Shebang Podcast's three part financial wellness series, Kristen Parise and wealth advisor Gillian Stovel Rivers tackle the money, the mindset and the mental health challenges that come with planning for and transitioning into retirement.

Gillian breaks down the current retirement savings targets for Canadians (approximately $1.5 to $1.7 million, with millennials needing closer to $2 to $2.5 million) and explains the building blocks that get you there: CPP, OAS, workplace pensions and personal savings through RRSPs and TFSAs. She walks through smart tax strategies for drawing down retirement income, why blending taxable and tax free sources matters and how whole life insurance can function as a tax sheltered investment vehicle growing at 6% or more annually.

But this conversation goes well beyond the numbers. Gillian shares research showing that social isolation in retirement impacts health as severely as smoking and obesity, and she explains why the belief that "retirement means stopping" is one of the most dangerous misconceptions people hold. She introduces her Five Good Adventures program, a 12 week framework that uses love languages and personal values to design a retirement that actually flourishes instead of flatlines. The episode also covers the reality of long term care costs in Canada (memory care can run $20,000 to $25,000 monthly) and the trade off conversations every couple needs to have while they still can.

What You'll Learn

• Current retirement savings targets for Canadians and why the number keeps growing for younger generations
• Tax strategies for blending RRSP, TFSA and other income sources to minimize your retirement tax burden
• Why social isolation in retirement is a health crisis and how to plan against it
• How whole life insurance can become a tax sheltered investment and long term care funding strategy
• Gillian's Five Good Adventures framework for designing a retirement worth living

Episode Chapters

00:00 The Retirement Reality Check and Savings Targets 03:01 Legacy vs Living: Balancing Enjoyment and Preservation 06:00 Tax Strategy for Retirement Income 09:13 Planning for Inflation and Longevity 12:09 Mental Health and Social Isolation in Retirement 14:59 Five Good Adventures and Designing a Fulfilling Retirement 17:50 Busting Dangerous Retirement Myths 20:56 Long Term Care Costs and Planning 23:58 Whole Life Insurance as an Investment Vehicle

About Gillian Stovel Rivers

Gillian Stovel Rivers, MA, CFP, CEA, is a Senior Wealth Advisor and Branch Owner at Surround Wealth Advisors (Assante Financial Management Ltd.). She is a second generation wealth advisor, a recipient of the WXN Canada's Most Powerful Women Top 100 Award, and was named one of Canada's Top Women Wealth Advisors by The Globe and Mail. Gillian is also the creator of the Five Good Adventures retirement transition program.

Theme Song: "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall

Catch Up on the Series

Part 1: Financial Wellness and Mindset Shifts Part 2: Investing, Growing Wealth and The Power of Compounding Part 3: Retirement Planning and Mental Health (this episode)

Connect with Gillian

Website: surroundwealth.com Email: [email protected] Instagram: @gillianstovelofficial LinkedIn: Gillian Stovel Rivers

Connect with The Hole Shebang

Website: blueberrytherapy.ca Podcast: Listen and Subscribe Instagram: @blueberrytherapypelvichealth Upcoming Event: The Pleasure Principle Conference May 8, 2026

Want more honest conversations about financial wellness, pelvic health and the stuff nobody else is talking about? Subscribe to The Hole Shebang Podcast and leave a review.

Episode Overview

Join Kristen Parise for a compelling conversation with Dr. Sara Reardon, pelvic floor physical therapist and author of the groundbreaking book "Floored." Dr. Reardon challenges the dangerous myths surrounding pelvic health, from the misconception that Kegels are a universal solution to the harmful narrative that pelvic floor dysfunction is just part of aging and motherhood. This episode is a rallying cry for women's health advocacy and a comprehensive guide to understanding your pelvic floor at every life stage.

What You'll Learn

• Why balance, not strengthening or relaxing, is the key to pelvic floor health
• How to identify whether you have a hypertonic (high tension) versus hypotonic (low tension) pelvic floor
• The surprising connection between stress, emotions, and pelvic floor dysfunction
• Why 90% of female orgasms occur through clitoral stimulation and what this means for sexual health
• The critical importance of pelvic health education during the teenage years
• How childhood experiences and trauma can manifest as adult pelvic floor issues
• The integrated approach needed to treat pelvic floor dysfunction effectively

Episode Highlights From Misconceptions to Empowerment

Dr. Reardon reveals the three biggest misconceptions she encounters: women not knowing they have a pelvic floor, believing dysfunction is "normal," and assuming Kegels are always the answer. She emphasizes that many women actually have pelvic floor tension rather than weakness, requiring completely different treatment approaches.

The Emotional Barometer

Exploring the profound mind-body connection, Dr. Reardon shares how the pelvic floor serves as an "emotional barometer." She recounts powerful patient stories and her own experience during Hurricane Ida, demonstrating how stress and trauma directly impact pelvic floor function.

Sexual Health Revolution

Breaking down barriers around sexual education, Dr. Reardon explains the anatomy of arousal, orgasm, and why painful sex is never normal. She advocates for comprehensive sexual health education that goes far beyond "sperm meets egg" to include pleasure, function, and the pelvic floor's central role.

The Teenage Years: A Critical Window

Dr. Reardon makes a compelling case for pelvic health education starting in adolescence, addressing everything from painful periods (which are NOT normal) to the 40% of high school female athletes who experience urinary incontinence. She emphasizes how early education can prevent decades of silent suffering.

Beyond the Pelvic Floor: An Integrated Approach

Using her "layers of an onion" metaphor, Dr. Reardon explains how effective treatment must address posture, breathing, abdominal function, and emotional health alongside pelvic floor muscles. She challenges the medical system's tendency to isolate symptoms rather than treating the whole person.

The Healthcare Revolution Needed

Dr. Reardon calls for systematic changes in medical education and practice, advocating for screening tools, better provider training, and the integration of pelvic health into standard women's healthcare rather than treating it as a last resort.

Episode Chapters

00:00-03:12: Introduction and Book Launch Celebration – Dr. Reardon returns to discuss her new book "Floored"

03:12-05:59: Breaking Down the Biggest Misconceptions – Why most women don't know they have a pelvic floor

05:59-08:57: The Balance Principle – Understanding hypertonic vs. hypotonic pelvic floors and why Kegels aren't universal

08:57-12:07: The Power of Advocacy – Why your voice is your most powerful tool in healthcare

12:07-14:54: Sexual Health Deep Dive – The pelvic floor's role in arousal, lubrication, and orgasm

14:54-17:57: The Emotional Connection – How the pelvic floor serves as an emotional barometer

17:57-20:49: Stress and Trauma Impact – Personal stories and Hurricane Ida's effect on pelvic floor tension

20:49-23:11: Integrated Treatment Approaches – Why comprehensive care includes mental health support

23:11-24:09: The Comprehensive Philosophy – Moving beyond isolated pelvic floor treatment

24:09-26:25: Teenage Years as the Critical Window – Why pelvic health education should start early

26:25-29:09: Breaking the Shame Cycle – Creating open conversations about bodies and function

29:09-31:42: The "Layers of an Onion" Approach – Understanding the pelvic floor as part of an integrated system

31:42-35:42: Resources for Healthcare Providers – Screening tools and outcome measures

35:42-40:50: The Mesh Crisis That Changed Everything – Dr. Reardon's pivotal experience with surgical complications

40:50-End: Advocacy and Action – The mission to make pelvic health standard care

Key Takeaways

• Pelvic floor dysfunction affects women at all life stages, not just after childbirth or during aging
• Balance between strength and relaxation is more important than just doing Kegels
• Painful periods, painful sex, and urinary incontinence are never normal and always treatable
• Stress and emotional trauma directly impact pelvic floor function
• Early education during teenage years can prevent decades of dysfunction
• Comprehensive treatment must address the whole person, not just isolated symptoms
• Healthcare providers need better training and screening tools for pelvic health issues
• Women deserve better care and must advocate for themselves within the medical system

Connect with Dr. Sara Reardon

• Instagram: @the.vagina.whisperer
• TikTok: @thevagwhisperer
• Website: thevaginawhisperer.com
• Book: "Floored: A Woman's Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage" (Available at all major bookstores)
• Online Platform: V-Hive membership with pelvic floor workouts and free trial available

Connect with The Hole Shebang

• Website: Blueberry Therapy Pelvic Health and Pediatrics
• Instagram: @blueberrytherapypelvichealth
• Upcoming Event: The Pleasure Principle Conference

Dr. Sara's Theme Song

"Who Runs the World? Girls" by Beyoncé - A powerful anthem that captures her mission to advocate for women's health and the belief that women are leading the charge in demanding better healthcare.

Pediatric pelvic health is one of the most overlooked areas of children's wellness, and many adult pelvic floor issues trace directly back to childhood patterns that were never properly addressed. In this episode of The Hole Shebang Podcast, Kristen Parise talks with Clare Bourne, a London based pelvic health physiotherapist and author of Strong Foundations: Why Pelvic Health Matters, about bedwetting misconceptions, the pediatric constipation crisis and why shame has no place in teaching kids about their bodies.

Clare explains how pediatric pelvic assessment works nothing like adult evaluation. There are no internal examinations. Instead, Clare describes the process as detective work: gathering clues about bowel habits, bladder patterns and family dynamics to understand what's happening. She breaks down why bedwetting before age seven is completely normal (it requires hormonal maturity, adequate bladder capacity and specific sleep patterns that develop on their own timeline) and why potty training should be viewed as a developmental process, not a quick fix with a deadline.

The conversation gets into the rising rates of pediatric constipation and the complex factors driving it beyond the oversimplified "eat more fiber" advice: lack of parental support during toileting, bathroom access issues at school, stress from life transitions like new siblings or starting school, and inappropriate potty training pressure. Clare and Kristen also trace how childhood constipation and holding patterns can lead to increased pelvic floor tension that later makes tampon insertion painful in adolescence and can contribute to painful intercourse in adulthood. Thirty years of pelvic health history matters long before someone gives birth.

What You'll Learn

• Why pediatric pelvic assessment is about education and detective work rather than physical examination
• Why bedwetting before age seven is developmentally normal and what factors determine nighttime dryness
• The complex causes behind rising pediatric constipation rates beyond diet alone
• How childhood holding patterns and constipation can lead to pelvic floor tension, painful tampon use and painful sex later in life
• Practical first steps parents can take before seeking professional help

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Clare's Pelvic Health Journey 02:30 Pelvic Floor and Continence in Children 05:17 How Pediatric Assessment Differs from Adult 08:25 Common Pediatric Pelvic Issues 11:23 Education, Anatomy and Breaking Shame 16:41 Practical First Steps for Parents 21:09 The Pediatric Constipation Epidemic 24:47 Stress, Family Support and Global Events 28:22 Medication Management and Treatment 30:21 Growth, Development and Family Dynamics 34:32 Childhood Issues and Adult Pelvic Health 38:13 Empowering Through Education and Resources

About Clare Bourne

Clare Bourne is a consultant pelvic and digestive health physiotherapist based in London. She has specialized in pelvic health for over 16 years, working extensively in the NHS before moving into private practice. Clare treats women, men and children and is an ambassador for The Endometriosis Foundation. She is the author of Strong Foundations: Why Pelvic Health Matters, co-founder of the Pelvic Health Practice and founder of All About Mum, which provides postnatal education resources.

Theme Song: "There She Goes" by The La's

Connect with Clare

Website: clare-bourne.com Instagram: @clarebournephysio Book: Strong Foundations: Why Pelvic Health Matters Also on TikTok and LinkedIn

Connect with The Hole Shebang

Website: blueberrytherapy.ca Podcast: Listen and Subscribe Instagram: @blueberrytherapypelvichealth Upcoming Event: The Pleasure Principle Conference May 8, 2026

Want more conversations about pelvic health for all ages and the stuff nobody else is talking about? Subscribe to The Hole Shebang Podcast and leave a review.

Sexual health and pelvic floor dysfunction are deeply connected, and most people never get the full picture on either one. In this episode of The Hole Shebang Podcast, Kristen Parise talks with Dr. Rachel Gelman, a pelvic floor physical therapist and AASECT certified sexuality counselor based in San Francisco, about painful sex, pelvic pain, incontinence during intimacy and why your pelvic floor might need the opposite of what you think.

Rachel explains why she prescribes vibrators more often than kegels, since many people dealing with pelvic pain actually have an overactive, tight pelvic floor that needs to learn to relax rather than contract more. She walks through her "chocolate cake" technique for rediscovering pleasure when sex has become associated with pain, and introduces the concept of a sexual menu to help people move beyond the assumption that sex equals penetration. The conversation covers the clitoris to penis anatomical connection and why most sex education gets it wrong, how bathroom habits (and a $15 toilet stool) can directly impact sexual function, the surprising link between tailbone pain and sexual dysfunction and what's happening when erections are painful.

Rachel also shares her favourite sex tech brands for people with pelvic pain and explains why solo sex is a legitimate and essential part of pelvic health treatment, not just recreation.

What You'll Learn

• Why kegels can make pelvic pain worse and what to do instead
• How to rebuild a relationship with pleasure after painful sex using Rachel's chocolate cake approach
• The anatomical connection between the clitoris and penis that most sex education leaves out
• Why incontinence during sex might not be urine at all and how to tell the difference
• Simple breathing and positioning techniques that calm the nervous system and reduce pelvic floor tension

Episode Chapters

00:00 Rachel's Path into Pelvic Health 05:30 Solo Sex as Self Care and Therapy 12:15 The Orgasm Education Gap and Clitoral Anatomy 18:45 Tailbone Pain and Sexual Dysfunction 24:00 Breathing Techniques for Better Sex 29:30 Creating Your Sexual Menu 35:15 Incontinence During Intimacy 41:00 Painful Erections and Pelvic Floor Dysfunction 46:30 Sex Tech Recommendations

About Dr. Rachel Gelman, PT, DPT, CSC

Dr. Rachel Gelman is a Doctor of Physical Therapy and AASECT certified sexuality counselor with over 15,000 clinical hours. She is the owner and founder of Pelvic Wellness and Physical Therapy in San Francisco, where she treats pelvic pain, bowel, bladder and sexual dysfunction across all gender identities. Rachel completed her sexuality counseling training through the University of Michigan and is an adjunct instructor at Samuel Merritt University, where she teaches the pelvic health curriculum in the Doctor of Physical Therapy program. She also consults with companies in the sex tech and femtech space.

Theme Song: "I Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty

Sex Tech Brands Mentioned

• Unbound
• Maude
• Mystery Vibe (research backed products for people with pelvic pain)

Connect with Dr. Rachel Gelman

Clinic: pelvicwellpt.com Website: rachelgelmandpt.com Instagram: @pelvichealthsf

Connect with The Hole Shebang

Website: blueberrytherapy.ca Podcast: Listen and Subscribe Instagram: @blueberrytherapypelvichealth Upcoming Event: The Pleasure Principle Conference May 8, 2026

Want more bold conversations about sexual health, pelvic wellness and the stuff nobody else is talking about? Subscribe to The Hole Shebang Podcast and leave a review.

Summary

In this enlightening follow-up conversation, host Kristen Parise welcomes back Gillian Stovel Rivers, Senior Wealth Advisor and creator of The Muscle Money Mindset®, for a deep dive into investing and wealth building strategies. Building on their previous discussion about financial wellness, Gillian breaks down complex investment concepts into digestible frameworks that anyone can understand.

This episode reveals the powerful connection between personal growth and financial growth, emphasizing that investing isn't just about stocks and bonds—it's about investing in yourself and your community. Gillian shares her three-principle approach to investing: mechanics, consistency, and intensity, while highlighting the "eighth wonder of the world"—compounding—and the importance of defining what "enough" means to you.

Whether you're just starting your investment journey or looking to optimize your current strategy, this conversation provides practical wisdom and actionable insights for taking control of your financial future.

Key Takeaways

• Before approaching investments with intensity, master the mechanics and practice consistency
• Understanding the fundamentals of different investment vehicles (cash instruments, stocks, bonds, mutual funds) creates confidence
• Compounding is the "eighth wonder of the world" that allows your money to grow exponentially over time
• It's never too late to start investing, regardless of your age
• Defining "enough" helps set realistic financial goals and celebrate milestones along the way
• Registered savings vehicles like RRSPs and TFSAs offer significant tax advantages for Canadians
• The most sustainable investment plans include meaning and connection
• Investing in yourself and your community creates returns that extend beyond financial growth

Episode Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Growing Wealth 03:23 - The Framework: Mechanics, Consistency, Intensity 05:18 - Understanding Investment Mechanics 09:23 - Building Consistency in Your Investment Practice 11:26 - The Power of Compounding: The Eighth Wonder of the World 15:49 - It's Never Too Late to Start 16:33 - Defining "Enough" in Wealth Planning 20:37 - Registered Savings Vehicles Explained 25:28 - Strategies for Successful Investing 27:40 - Broadening Your Definition of Investing 30:05 - The Connection Between Financial and Personal Growth

Featured Guest

Gillian Stovel Rivers is a Senior Wealth Advisor at Assante Wealth Management with over twenty years of experience in the industry. She is also the creator of The Muscle Money Mindset®, where she coaches professional women and men to transform from "chronically overwhelmed endurance athletes" to "shot-calling performance athletes" in business and life. As a CF-L2 Coach and Certified High Flow Coach, Gillian brings a unique perspective to financial planning that integrates physical and financial wellness.

Connect with Gillian:

• Email: [email protected]
• LinkedIn: Gillian Stovel Rivers
• Instagram: @AdventureGillian and @GillianStovelOfficial

Resources Mentioned

• Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA) - Learn more about this powerful tax-sheltered investment vehicle
• Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP) - Information about Canada's registered retirement savings plan
• CrossFit - The fitness methodology Gillian references in her investment framework
• Britney Spears - "Work Bitch" - Gillian's motivational theme song (explicit content)

Connect with Kristen

• Website: Blueberry Therapy
• Instagram: @blueberrytherapyca

Don't Miss Out!

Join Kristen at The Pleasure Principle Conference - a groundbreaking event exploring the intersection of health, wellness, and sexual pleasure. Get your tickets now!

The Hole Shebang is produced by Kristen Parise.

The information provided in this episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as financial advice. Always consult with a qualified financial advisor before making investment decisions.

What does it actually look like to stop doing and start receiving? In this episode of The Hole Shebang Podcast, Kristen Parise talks with Haley Bowler Cooke, bestselling author of Unfuckwithable and founder of Uplift Lifestyle, about the art of receiving, balancing feminine and masculine energies and why high achieving women often burn out by treating every area of life like a project to power through.

Haley shares her path from studying kinesiology to becoming a channel, speaker and author. She opens up about a near death experience in 2024 that forced her to learn how to receive help from others, calling it the best gift she could have asked for. The conversation explores what Haley calls "the dimension of openness," a state where healing and manifestation become accessible when we stop extracting and start receiving. She and Kristen talk about why success in just one area of life never creates true fulfillment and how quantum physics supports the idea that there is no separation between our physical, emotional and spiritual health.

Haley also shares practical tools listeners can use immediately: a breathwork technique she calls "breathe like you're playing hide and seek" (slow, quiet breathing), lying on the floor as a simple practice to attune to joy, the concept of radical responsibility through saying "I chose this" and shifting from a mindset of extraction to one of "thank you, more please."

What You'll Learn

• What the art of receiving actually means and how it differs from passive inaction
• How Haley's near death experience in 2024 became her biggest breakthrough in vulnerability
• Why holistic success across love, wellbeing, wealth, purpose, impact and joy matters more than achievement in any single area
• Practical breathwork, body based and mindset tools you can start using today
• What "the dimension of openness" is and how to access it

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Unfuckwithable 02:40 Haley's Journey and Background 05:33 The Art of Receiving 15:07 Vulnerability and Personal Growth 25:34 Holistic Success Paradigms 29:22 Holistic Wellness and Success 32:05 The Dimension of Openness 38:41 Practical Steps to Connect with Your Body 42:59 Radical Responsibility and Self Care 46:27 Theme Song and Personal Connection

About Haley Bowler Cooke

Haley Bowler Cooke is the bestselling author of Unfuckwithable, founder and CEO of Uplift Lifestyle Inc. and host of the Uplift Lifestyle Podcast. She works with high level professionals and individuals through channeled healing, retreats, group programs and private sessions. Her book has been featured on Gwyneth Paltrow's Instagram and was requested for review by the New York Times.

Theme Song: "Treat You Better" by Rufus Du Sol

Connect with Haley

Website: upliftlifestyle.ca Instagram: @uplift_lifestyle Book: Unfuckwithable on Amazon

Connect with The Hole Shebang

Website: blueberrytherapy.ca Podcast: Listen and Subscribe Instagram: @blueberrytherapypelvichealth Upcoming Event: The Pleasure Principle Conference May 8, 2026

Want more conversations about wellness, embodiment and the stuff nobody else is talking about? Subscribe to The Hole Shebang Podcast and leave a review.

Pelvic Health After Cancer: Recovery, Lymphedema and Late Effects

Cancer treatment saves lives, but it also leaves a trail of side effects nobody warns you about. Pelvic pain, vaginal dryness, lymphedema, anal fissures, sexual dysfunction, surgical menopause dropped in your lap overnight. And then you are told it is normal. Just deal with it. In this episode, Kristen sits down with Dr. Alex Hill, a double board certified pelvic health and oncology physical therapist based in Jacksonville, Florida, to talk about what cancer rehab actually looks like, why exercise during treatment is not just safe but necessary and how the myth that you can only get lymphedema after cancer is keeping people from care they desperately need. Whether you are navigating active treatment, years into survivorship or trying to support someone you love, this conversation is a permission slip to stop accepting dismissal as the price of being alive.

What You Will Learn

Alex walks through the three distinct phases of cancer side effects, the acute symptoms during treatment, the long term effects that linger and the late effects that surface months or years later and surprise everyone. She breaks down the gold standard four part treatment for lymphedema, explains why vaginal dilators are essential after radiation and medically induced menopause and describes how the pelvic floor often becomes overactive in response to the trauma of a cancer diagnosis. Kristen layers in stories from her own practice, including patients blindsided by tamoxifen induced dryness and anal fissures nobody prepared them for, reinforcing why every cancer survivor deserves a pelvic health physiotherapist on their team.

Topics Covered

• What pelvic health and oncology physiotherapy actually treats
• Lymphedema explained and the four part complete decongestive therapy approach
• Debunking the myth that cancer patients should rest instead of exercise
• Vaginal dilators after radiation and medically induced menopause
• Radiation fibrosis and what it means for pelvic tissues
• Acute, long term and late effects of cancer treatment
• Why the pelvic floor becomes overactive during cancer treatment
• Tumor boards, rehab integration and early referral for pelvic cancers
• Late effects including lifelong lymphedema risk and tissue fibrosis

Resources Mentioned

• OncoPelvic PT, Dr. Alex Hill's educational platform, blog and continuing education courses for patients and rehab clinicians
• OncoPelvic PT Clinic Services, concierge pelvic health and oncology rehab in Jacksonville, Florida, with in clinic, mobile and telehealth visits

Related Episodes

• The Real Talk about Sex After Cancer Treatment with Dr. Michelle Jacobson
• Navigating Medical Menopause After Cancer Treatment with Dr. Ashley Chauvin
• Understanding Pelvic Organ Prolapse: Myths and Facts with Dr. Carolyn Best
• Vulvar Health Basics Every Woman Should Know with Kathryn Flanigan

Theme Song

Get Back Up Again from Trolls

Connect with Dr. Alex Hill

Website: oncopelvicpt.com Instagram: @OncoPelvicPT YouTube: @OncoPelvicPT

Connect with The Hole Shebang

Visit blueberrytherapy.ca and subscribe to The Hole Shebang Podcast wherever you listen. Leave a review, and head to blueberrytherapy.ca/podcast to explore the back catalog. Come hang out on Instagram @blueberrytherapypelvichealth.

Episode Overview

Join Kristen Parise as she sits down with Jessica Caceres, a nurse practitioner with 15 years of experience who's revolutionizing women's hormonal health care. From frustrating dismissals in traditional medicine to pioneering a holistic approach to hormone therapy, Jessica shares her journey and expert insights on navigating the often turbulent waters of perimenopause and menopause.

What You'll Learn

• Why the infamous Women's Health Initiative study created decades of fear—and why much of it was unfounded
• The critical differences between synthetic and bioidentical hormones
• How to recognize when your body is entering the "zone of chaos" known as perimenopause
• Why joint pain might be your first clue that hormonal changes are happening
• The life-changing (and potentially life-saving) benefits of vaginal estrogen
• When to seek help for hormonal changes and what to expect

Episode Highlights Jessica's Transformation from Traditional Medicine to Hormone Hero

Jessica describes her awakening to the gaps in women's healthcare after years in family medicine, where she noticed women's hormonal concerns being consistently dismissed or treated with band-aid solutions like antidepressants. Her own frustration with her inability to truly help these patients led her to extensive training in functional medicine and hormone optimization, completely transforming her approach to patient care.

The Women's Health Initiative: Setting the Record Straight

Learn why this 20-year-old study created widespread fear around hormone replacement therapy despite major flaws in methodology. Jessica breaks down how the study used women who were too old, synthetic hormones instead of bioidentical ones, and oral medications instead of safer topical options—all leading to misleading conclusions that have impacted millions of women's health decisions.

The Perimenopausal Roller Coaster: What to Expect When Everything's Unexpected

Jessica vividly describes perimenopause as a "treacherous valley" of hormonal peaks and troughs, explaining why symptoms can vary so wildly and change so quickly. From heavy periods to joint pain, brain fog to sleep disturbances, she offers clear guidance on recognizing the signs and knowing when to seek help.

Beyond Hot Flashes: The Musculoskeletal Syndrome of Menopause

Discover the surprising connection between estrogen decline and joint pain, frozen shoulder, back pain, and other musculoskeletal issues. Jessica and Kristen discuss how these symptoms are often overlooked despite being some of the earliest and most common complaints among perimenopausal women.

"Vaginal Estrogen Saves Lives": Breaking the Taboo

In perhaps the most powerful segment of the conversation, Jessica passionately advocates for vaginal estrogen as a game-changing treatment that's safe for everyone—even breast cancer survivors. She shares moving stories of women in their 70s, 80s, and 90s whose lives were transformed by this simple intervention, and why breaking the stigma around discussing vaginal health is literally a matter of life and death.

Episode Chapters

• 00:00-08:00: Introduction to Hormonal Health and Jessica's Journey – From family medicine to women's hormone specialist
• 08:01-19:18: The Shift in Women's Health Perspectives – How outdated studies created fear and confusion
• 19:19-25:27: Understanding Perimenopause and Hormone Replacement Therapy – The basics of bioidentical hormones
• 25:28-28:28: Addressing Heavy Periods and Hormonal Changes – More than just "take some iron"
• 28:29-31:55: Understanding Perimenopause Symptoms – From hot flashes to brain fog and beyond
• 31:56-35:03: The Chaos of Hormonal Changes – Navigating the unpredictable "zone of chaos"
• 35:04-37:24: Hormone Replacement Therapy: Lifelong Considerations – Is it forever? (Spoiler: it can be!)
• 37:25-40:56: The Importance of Vaginal Estrogen – A passionate case for this life-changing treatment
• 40:57-46:40: Breaking the Stigma Around Women's Health Conversations – Educating ourselves and future generations

Connect with Jessica

• Website: Bonita Medical Aesthetics and Wellness
• Instagram: @youare.bonita
• Email: [email protected]
• Location: New facility in St. Jacob's

Connect with The Hole Shebang

• Website: Blueberry Therapy Pelvic Health and Pediatrics
• Instagram: @blueberrytherapypelvichealth
• Upcoming Event: The Pleasure Principle

Jessica's Theme Song for Her Career

"Still Standing" by Elton John – perfectly capturing her journey through clinical practice and commercial renovation!

Religious and strict upbringings can shape how people relate to their bodies, their pleasure and their sexuality for decades. In this episode of The Hole Shebang Podcast, Kristen Parise talks with Alyssa Howard, a registered psychotherapist and founder of Grounding Place Therapy in Hamilton, Ontario, about the complex intersection of religious conditioning, sexual shame and reclaiming your relationship with pleasure.

Alyssa explains how sexual shame develops when sex becomes a topic that is never spoken about, creating an automatic sense that it must be wrong or dangerous. She walks through how this shows up in her clients as anxiety, physical tension and negative self talk during sexual experiences, and how those patterns can contribute to actual pain with intercourse. The conversation covers how she works with individuals and couples to identify the beliefs they were taught, examine where those beliefs came from and decide which ones they want to carry forward as a unit.

For listeners who grew up in environments where sensuality was never explored, Alyssa offers three starting points: self compassion around what you don't know, education through books and other resources, and personal exploration to discover what feels good for you. She also shares practical tools including scheduled 10 to 15 minute check ins about sex with a partner, reflective listening that captures emotions (not just words), simple breathing exercises for mindfulness during intimacy and approaching your own pleasure with curiosity rather than judgment.

What You'll Learn

• How strict religious upbringings create sexual shame and why silence around sex is where that shame takes root
• The connection between psychological shame patterns and physical sexual pain
• How Alyssa works with couples to identify individual beliefs and build shared values around sexuality
• Mindfulness and somatic techniques for being present during sexual experiences
• Practical first steps for cultivating sensuality when you never had permission to explore it

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Alyssa Howard 02:46 Navigating Identity and Values 05:50 The Impact of Strict Upbringings on Sexuality 09:00 Understanding Sexual Shame and Guilt 12:01 Communication and Relationship Dynamics 14:50 Education and Exploration in Sexuality 18:11 Therapeutic Techniques for Redefining Sexuality 20:59 Working with Couples on Shared Beliefs 24:04 Mindfulness and Somatic Practices 27:07 Practical Steps for Overcoming Sexual Pain 30:08 Cultivating Sensuality and Pleasure 32:50 Recommended Resources 35:59 Theme Song and Connection

About Alyssa Howard, RP

Alyssa Howard is a registered psychotherapist and founder of Grounding Place Therapy in Hamilton, Ontario. She offers in person and virtual sessions across Ontario, specializing in supporting racialized individuals (particularly Black women), members of the 2SLGBTQ+ community, couples navigating cultural differences and adults working through identity, burnout and relationship concerns. Before becoming a therapist, Alyssa spent 8.5 years in education technology.

Theme Song: "i" by Kendrick Lamar

Books Mentioned

• Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
• Sex Talks: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life by Vanessa Marin and Xander Marin

Connect with Alyssa

Website: groundingplacetherapy.ca

Upcoming: Catch Alyssa at The Pleasure Principle Conference

Connect with The Hole Shebang

Website: blueberrytherapy.ca Podcast: Listen and Subscribe Instagram: @blueberrytherapypelvichealth

Want more conversations about sexual health, identity and the stuff nobody else is talking about? Subscribe to The Hole Shebang Podcast and leave a review.

Fertility health deserves the same level of planning and preparation as a wedding, and yet most people start trying to conceive without understanding their own cycle, their partner's sperm health or the environmental factors working against them. In this episode of The Hole Shebang Podcast, Kristen Parise talks with Dr. Rachel Corradetti Sargeant, a fertility focused naturopathic doctor at Conceive Health within Niagara Fertility in Stoney Creek, Ontario, about what preconception care actually looks like and why the three to six month window before trying to conceive matters more than most people realize.

Rachel's path into fertility medicine is deeply personal. After experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and discovering she had premature ovarian insufficiency (a condition that also affected her grandmother and aunt), she became passionate about helping others optimize their fertility before crisis hits. She explains why she calls her patients "the ultimate bodybuilders" because they are literally building another human, and why that process deserves the same nutritional, environmental and lifestyle attention any serious physical pursuit would.

The conversation covers the fertility signals your body is already giving you (particularly cervical mucus changes, which are more reliable than apps alone), why sperm health is dramatically underemphasized despite contributing equally to outcomes, the impact of environmental toxins in everyday products on fertility, and why nearly every patient Rachel tests is vitamin D deficient. Rachel also breaks down PCOS (which 75% of her patients have and which is frequently misunderstood as simply "cysts on ovaries"), blood sugar control as a hidden fertility factor, and how naturopathic and conventional fertility medicine work best when integrated rather than siloed.

What You'll Learn

• Why the three to six month preconception window is critical and usually overlooked
• How to read your body's fertility signals without relying solely on apps
• Why sperm health matters as much as egg health and is rarely given equal attention
• The impact of environmental toxins and vitamin D deficiency on fertility outcomes
• What PCOS actually is, how it's commonly misunderstood and how it affects fertility

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Pelvic Health and Fertility 02:50 Rachel's Journey into Naturopathic Medicine 05:48 Understanding Premature Ovarian Insufficiency 08:56 Preconception Planning 12:11 The Underestimated Impact of Sperm Health 14:55 Fertility Signals: Cervical Mucus and Basal Temperature 17:51 Inside a Naturopathic Fertility Consultation 20:50 Environmental Toxins and Vitamin D Deficiency 26:08 Blood Sugar Control and Fertility 27:32 PCOS Demystified 31:24 Advanced Fertility Support 34:37 Integrating Naturopathic and Conventional Medicine 38:35 Three Steps to Start Your Fertility Journey 41:58 Fertility Myths Busted 45:35 Theme Song and How to Connect

About Dr. Rachel Corradetti Sargeant, ND

Dr. Rachel Corradetti Sargeant is a fertility focused naturopathic doctor practicing at Conceive Health within Niagara Fertility in Stoney Creek, Ontario (part of TRIO Fertility). She studied at the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine and the National College of Natural Medicine in Portland, Oregon. Rachel is licensed through the College of Naturopaths of Ontario and is a member of the Canadian and Ontario Associations of Naturopathic Doctors and the Endocrinology Association of Naturopathic Physicians. Her own fertility journey, including an ectopic pregnancy and premature ovarian insufficiency, drives her passion for helping others conceive.

Theme Song: "Started from the Bottom" by Drake

Resources Mentioned

• Fertility Signs Masterclass: free course on understanding your body's fertility signals
• Free email series on the pillars of preconception health (sign up at rachelcorradetti.com)

Connect with Dr. Rachel

Website: rachelcorradetti.com Instagram: @dr_rachel_nd Practice: Conceive Health at Niagara Fertility, Stoney Creek, Ontario

Connect with The Hole Shebang

Website: blueberrytherapy.ca Podcast: Listen and Subscribe Instagram: @blueberrytherapypelvichealth Upcoming Event: The Pleasure Principle Conference May 8, 2026

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