The Housewives Archives: A Real Housewives Podcast

Nobody asked for it. Nobody wanted it. But we're doing it anyway. This week we discuss the first two (and a half) episodes of Netflix's unethical, exploitative, flawed, truly batshit reality dating show "The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On." We talk dating, marriage, heterosexuality, self-deprecation, and compromise.

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This week, we pack our bags and say goodbye to Morocco and some truly legendary OG Housewives. We talk Luann's UGT meltdown, Jill versus Ramona, henna tattoos, Herman Munster shoes, Ramona's crying, the "villainy" of Jill Zarin, and the Season 5 Reboot...

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Saddle up your camels, we're heading on a two-part trip to Morocco! This week we talk vocal stims, Cindy Barshop, psychics, the return of Flop Alex, hangers, saving seats, Jill's gay husband, The Blondes, speaking French, and camels. Ya habibi!

Morocco Recap: 11:00ish

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Pack your bikinis girls because this week we're heading to Spooky Island! We discuss spray tans, chain necklaces, playing devil's advocate, sexuality, Kelly's photoshoot, cooks v chefs, kabuki, Al Sharpton, and Jill's vacation crashing. There's been enough drama...

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Ah, Ladies of London: it was a cult classic that came and went, was largely ignored, eventually rebooted, and promptly canned again. Basically, it's a perfect subject for The Housewives Archives. This week we discuss etiquette, "British humor", gays on Bravo, being "creepy", pink walkie-talkies, The Tragedie of Martha and Daddy's Fez, and Alex McCord.

LoL discussion: 15:30ish

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She's pint-sized, baptized, and highly-prized. Tamra Judge is the Housewife who saw the dramatic potential of The Real Housewives before even Bravo did and single-handedly changed the landscape of reality television forever. We talk Housewives as Producers, Gretchen Rossi, Bass Lake, Naked Wasted, Simon Barney, Bali, Heather Dubrow, The Tres Amigas, Brooks, her seismic firing and subsequent return to the show with mixed results...

Tamra Discussion: 11:00ish

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This week, we cover The Real Housewives' younger, sexier, more pious Gen Z cousin: The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. We talk TikTok, Fruity Pebbles, editing, pregnancy test roulette, cringe, and a bunch of other stuff we definitely remember about this show.

SLOMW Discussion: 12:00ish

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This week we cover Beverly Hills' most recent fallen soldier and perennial fan favourite: Garcelle Beauvais. We talk the context of Garcelle's introduction, being RHOBH's first black cast member, the vocabularly of Housewives, her alliance with Sutton, her rivalry with Dorit, villainy and popularity, her Reunion swan song, and the potentially disastrous ramifications of her exit.

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It's almost Halloween and what scarier topic to discuss than the veritably Southern Gothic Sutton Stracke. A haunted porcelain doll in stature and spirit, we discuss the Tennessee Williamsian anti-heroine's best bits: her aggressive face-rollering, ugly leather pants, her vampiric familiar Avi, her frenemyship with Crystal, her alliance with Garcelle, her complicated dynamic with the Fox Force Five and the terrifying matriarch that is Reba.

Sutton Discussion: 12:00ish

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We've come out of retirement to deconstruct the most recent season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. This week, we discuss Kyle and Mauricio, Morgan Wade, Dorit v Garcelle, Sutton's esophagus, and Kathy's mob boss appearance at the Reunion.

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