What do we want for Christmas? Just you! Grab a mince pie and settle in for this one-off festive extravaganza! In the spirit of the season, we get all nostalgic for classic RHONY and discuss Housewives Secret Santa, our perfect Housewives Christmas, and our favorite Bluestone Manor memories. We also petition for Luann to appear in Ellie's next cabaret, we talk our rose and thorn from our recent New York trip, and Ellie recounts her Airbnb eviction story. Plus, we reveal our grand plans for The Housewives Archives in 2023...

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In true Housewives Archives style, we came together for a Halloween special that dropped in November... but we're persevering regardless. We're taking a look back at the most recent sensational season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and discussing our favorite moments. We talk a Carlton Gebbia Bravocon, Erika's Aspen meltdown, virtue signaling in Beverly Hills, the Richards sisters, leaking to the press, Kathy Hilton's off-camera tantrum, Lisa Rinna, Crystal and Darkgate, and Erika's seemingly constant (and possibly imaginary!) conveyor belt of dick. Enjoy!

RHOBH Discussion: 14:00ish

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Nobody asked for it, but we did it anyway. This week, we gather one last time for a season-finale-cum-roundtable-discussion about our beloved Jersey lunatics. We talk our favorite Housewives Archives episodes, impressions, lifestyle porn in New Jersey, making Rosie a Housewife, our favorite RHONJ moments, and Danielle Staub fan fiction...

RHOBH Recap: 10:00ish

RHONJ Discussion: 20:00ish

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It's the season finale! Sort of. This week, we finish up our deep-dive of Season 12 - and RHONJ as a whole - by talking obstacle courses, Nashville, body-shaming, analogies, Teresa's love bubble, moving houses, the husbands, and Margaret's unspoken but ever-present devotion to Coffee Mate...

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This week, the name on everybody's lips is Luis Ruelas, aka the new beau of hopeless romantic Teresa Giudice. Is he a con artist, or is he just a harmless Jersey bro with an over-zealous penchant for self help and a vague affinity with cultism? You decide! We talk the video that got everyone's tongues wagging, Jennifer's new nose, Bill's affair, Dolores' relationship with her Old School roots, Traci and Tiki Barber, and the blow-up at the Jersey Shore.

RHOBH Recap: 10:30ish

RHONJ Discussion: 22:00ish

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This week, we take a break from our Jersey deep-dive to discuss the breaking news that is Teresa's wedding: specifically, the sentient mass of hair pieces sitting atop her head. We also recap this week's episode of Beverly Hills, wherein we discuss the problem with Lisa Rinna, her business endeavors, Erika's sexuality, and the treatment of Crystal's eating disorder. Finally, we give our first impressions from the premier episode of Ultimate Girls Trip: Ex-Wives Club!

Teresa's Wedding: 9:00ish

RHOBH Recap: 17:00ish

UGT Recap: 31:00ish

This week, we take a look at Season 11 of New Jersey, and how one little analogy almost led to Jackie's death by cunnilingus! We talk the passing of Teresa and Joe's father, Evan doing stuff at the gym, fighting with Teresa, the Jersey Shore blow-up, Melissa and Joe's marriage woes, Dolores and David, and Teresa's new boyfriend Luis...

RHOBH Recap: 6:30ish

RHONJ Discussion:  18:00ish

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Danielle's wearing something very expensive, she's soaking wet, Teresa's in her ear, and she just can't help herself... But first, we talk pineapple pizzas on Love Island and the hilarity that is Jamie Lee Curtis flogging wind chimes to Dorit on Beverly Hills. Then, we bid adieu to Danielle - for the second time - as we wrap up our RHONJ Season 10 breakdown. We talk iconic Housewives costumes, that hair pull, the ethics and treatment of violence in reality television, Danielle ratting-out Teresa, Danielle's swan song Reunion performance, and Teresa and Joe's ill-fated Italian reunion...

RHOBH Recap: 8:00ish

RHONJ Discussion: 18:30ish

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We're back from our mini-break and we've got a lot of catching up to do! We talk the latest Love Island drama and recap Diana v Sutton and Erika's drunken antics on RHOBH before discussing Season 10 of New Jersey. We analyze Jackie Goldschneider, debate the kids birthday party fiasco, talk money and how you spend it, and of course, Danielle's on-again-off-again relationship with Marty.

RHOBH Recap: 16:00ish

RHONJ Discussion: 25:00ish

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This week, we check in on Ekin-Su's latest shenanigans and recap the most recent Beverly Hills before concluding Season 9 of RHONJ! We watch Milania's illustrious singing career, Jackie's article, Old School v. New School, Mexico, sleeping in the pool-house, costume jewelry, and pushing Marty in the pool.

RHOBH Recap: 13:30ish

RHONJ Discussion: 20:30

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