My love for sitcoms is real. It might even be one of my love languages and The Office is certainly in my top 5. Michael Scott has a lot of great quotes throughout Steve Carell’s time on the show, but during a recent rewatch there was one that really got me thinking. No, it’s not “That’s what she said!”, it’s found in season 7, episode 5 and it’s a question we should all be asking of ourselves. 

The question is posed two different times during the episode and both times the respondents answer without hesitation. “Do you want your life to be better, or to be worse or to stay the same?” The guest actor, Danny, without much hesitation said that he wanted his life to be better and when Michale asked his own sales team they immediately responded with “stay the same”. 

How often do you ask yourself this question? How often do you take an inventory of your life, where you are right now and ask yourself do I want my life to be better than it is right now, do I want it to be worse (I mean come on, I don’t think many would answer this!)  or do you want it to stay the same? What do you want for your life right now?

There is nothing wrong with the salesman answering “stay the same”. They are content where their life is, they don't want a big shake-up, they don't want to go into an unknown. What happens when you say “I want my life to be better” is that something has to change. Maybe you have to sacrifice something, maybe you're giving up something, maybe you have to move or maybe you have to separate from something to get better.  I actually believe they all knew this; they knew that to get better something would have to change and they weren't ready.

Sometimes ‘point B’ is completely unknown.  We might be able to see point B, like we can say “I see point B”, but I have no idea what point A to point B looks like so I'm just going to stay at point A, I am not going to move at all. 

So maybe we're really just going to ask the question, “ Do you want your life to be better or do you want it to stay the same?”  You are completely empowered to choose either. You don't have to move. You don't have to shift or change at all. The power is yours, but I believe we're missing asking the question and we are not asking the question because of what it takes to go from “stay the same” to “better”. 

I have lived in the “stay the same”. I felt stuck and like I can't seem to go any further. It's actually because when I started seeing what it was going to take for things to be better, for things to change, for things to improve the road did not seem inviting. It was like there were danger signs coming shouting, “Warning! Warning!” and I didn’t want to enter into unknown terrain. I was scared. Fear stopped me. In Episode 46 I talk more about how we respond, whether it’s from love or from fear. 

Ask yourself right now, “Do I want my life to be better or to stay the same?” You are empowered to stay right where you are or to move. And actually, I believe there is beauty in being completely content where you are right now.  It doesn't mean you're closed off to moving forward, to things changing and getting better, having more freedom or whatever that point B looks like, you just know for right now where you are is the perfect place. There's beauty in that as well. 

Purchase my Morning Motivation Daily Journal 

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If you were going to tell something to your younger self, what would it be? This question sparked something beautiful in newly published Author, Nancy Holte and the result is a book that brings laughter, agreement, appreciation and so much more. In her book, Back Away from the Cookies, Nancy goes back in time to not only reflect on decisions, mistakes and events, but to extend grace to her younger self. 

Maybe you grew up hearing that you should try and learn from other’s mistakes. This concept is often lost on those that need it most, but even as adults we need this reminder. Nancy has given us chapter after chapter to learn from. Her transparency and vulnerability helps us to learn without ever having to make the mistake ourselves. This book is like having a mentor by your side all the time.

Purchase Back Away From the Cookies on Amazon

Nancy is a wife, mom, grandmother, author, and encourager. She strives to encourage women to embrace all that God has for them. God's faithfulness has been evident in every step of her life. Nancy grew up in southern California and graduated from Point Loma University before moving to Minnesota with her husband John over 40 years ago. She has worked in women's ministry, mentored young women, and written various articles for multiple publications. Nancy loves to travel, has been on 15 mission trips to numerous countries worldwide, loves to read, laugh, and spend time with friends.

Links:

Website: http://www.nancyholte.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nancyholte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BackAwayFromTheCookies/

Purchase my Morning Motivation Daily Journal 

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If you have raised or are raising toddlers then you have most likely experienced picky eaters. I feel like it’s some sort of parental ‘right of passage’. I have been through this four times in four different ways. One even putting ketchup on everything….I mean everything! Yes, even broccoli!

Your kids turning into picky eaters is a normal developmental stage. They want to assert themself, which you see again when they are teenagers. In both seasons of life, they are trying to establish what they like, who they are and feel like they are in control. We, as parents, have a choice in the seasons in how we respond to the picky eater. 

We can force feed them.  Most of us were raised that way, members of the infamous “clear your plate” club and find ourselves initiating our kids into the club. Telling them they can’t get up from the table until they have cleared their plate of food. This backfires both in the short term and the long term. Food fights in the present can turn into hating dinner time.

There’s another way to handle young picky eaters. The first way is to eliminate the “clear your plate” club in your house. It’s your choice. You empower the child that is looking for power. The key is in starting before dinner is served. Giving our kids a predetermined choice empowers them. They feel a sense of control and power. They can help prepare the food too, this also gives them a sense of empowerment in the meal.

Another choice you have is, make what works for you and when they don’t want it you let it go. We kept presenting the food without pressure or fights. This is the method we used. Sometimes introducing foods in a new way, multiple times, can have a huge impact. Sometimes they liked it, sometimes they did not, but the win was that they tried the food without stress. 

There is also one more choice you can make and it might feel like a radical one. You can let your kids serve themselves the food. We believe, as the parents, that we have to intervene in their eating experience. It’s hard to trust that they know exactly what their body needs. So from a young age, we are interrupting their intuition around food. 

You can end food fights and reduce all your stress around what your kids are or are not eating when you have healed your relationship with food and broken down the food rules that have been running your life. Mom First group Coaching will do just this and more for you. 

MOM FIRST GROUP COACHING PROGRAM:

Click Here to Book a call today to get enrolled

4 Month MOM FIRST Group Coaching

• weekly 60 minute group coaching calls via Zoom
• 70+ page workbook to support the coaching calls
• access to Jennifer during 1x/week 'office hours' 
• focused coaching on intuitive eating fundamentals for you and for raising intuitive eaters
• a supportive community of moms on the same journey
• access to all recorded coaching sessions for 1 month after program ends
• enrollment opens twice a year for 10 clients per group

Purchase my Morning Motivation Daily Journal 

https://www.healthcoach4life.com/shop/

Grab the First Steps to Intuitive Eating Guide

https://www.healthcoach4life.com/firststeps

Book a Private Consultation
https://www.healthcoach4life.com/requestsession/?sid=3

Resources:

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What does a life that is fully aligned look like for you? How do you know if you are in a place of alignment in all areas of life? I dive deeper into my personal story from 2020 and my word for 2021 that is leading to living a life of alignment. This episode will give you space to solidify the benefits of having a word for the year, but also an opportunity to reflect on your own life and if it is fully aligned. 

In episode 64 I talked about having a word for the year. I didn't have one when I recorded that episode, but my word for 2021 is the word “aligned”, being aligned. I think about the word aligned and it's not just aligned in one area of my life, I want every area of my life to be completely aligned. 

I value authenticity and I believe the word aligned draws out my most authentic self.  It aligns everything. Even if that means letting go of things. Even if that means taking a risk...or even risking failure. Being completely aligned in all areas of life isn’t a risk, it’s actually more authentic than anything else I have ever done. 

I would like you just to think on that word for a moment, what does it mean if we live our lives fully aligned? That everything we do, every choice we make ,every decision we're faced with, whether it's for ourself, for our parenting, for work, for career, whatever that is that you feel everything is fully aligned in your life? 

Is your life already that way? Are you already fully aligned?  Because if not, you're going to experience things like, “I'm compromising who I am” or “I'm giving up what I believe is right here”.  You might even feel like, “ I'm just avoiding failure”.

Living a fully aligned life is not necessarily an easy one, however I put my head on that pillow at night and what a difference. When you feel that every area of your life is fully aligned or you're headed that way, it is this immense sense of peace. Are you living a life that is fully aligned?

MOM FIRST GROUP COACHING PROGRAM:

Click Here to Book a call today to get enrolled

4 Month MOM FIRST Group Coaching

• weekly 60 minute group coaching calls via Zoom
• 70+ page workbook to support the coaching calls
• access to Jennifer during 1x/week 'office hours' 
• focused coaching on intuitive eating fundamentals for you and for raising intuitive eaters
• a supportive community of moms on the same journey
• access to all recorded coaching sessions for 1 month after program ends
• enrollment opens twice a year for 10 clients per group

Purchase my Morning Motivation Daily Journal 

https://www.healthcoach4life.com/shop/

Grab the First Steps to Intuitive Eating Guide

https://www.healthcoach4life.com/firststeps

Book a Private Consultation
https://www.healthcoach4life.com/requestsession/?sid=3

Resources:

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@jennifer_lifeandmindsetcoach

@healthlifeandmoreforwomen

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Back in February my Enneagram Coach, Hillary McCaskey, had me on her YouTube Channel for the second time and it’s quite revealing! I am an Enneagram Type 3 which is known as The Achiever. In this interview I answer all of Hillary’s questions and share about the positives and challenges of being a type 3.

As I recover from major surgery I thought this would be a fun little throwback gem for you to hear and a way to get to know your girl Jen even better. 

You can also watch this interview on Hillary’s YouTube Channel by clicking HERE

Hillary McCaskey is a Certified Enneagram Coach and she teaches the Enneagram in a simple and fun way on her YouTube Channel. Give her videos a Like and Follow her channel.

Hillary also offers Enneagram specific coaching and you can find all the details for that on her website: https://www.enneagramandcoaching.com/

Purchase my Morning Motivation Daily Journal 

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Grab the First Steps to Intuitive Eating Guide

https://www.healthcoach4life.com/firststeps

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One of the biggest complaints that I hear from parents, and I’ve heard it for a long time, is that Christmas morning is over in a blink of an eye. We build up all this anticipation and put so much thought into everything that happens that morning. Can you picture yours? What does it look like and feel like? Does it go by so quickly that you feel you’ve been gypped on time? Maybe it seems like a Christmas tornado went through your house. Even though kids are just being kids, you might even feel a bit let down.

There are a few things we do to end Christmas morning feeling like it was a complete success. We started them early on, but I believe you could implement them this year, no matter the age of your children. 

One of the greatest successes to our morning is starting the day with cake, usually chocolate cake. Yup, cake for breakfast! In our home we celebrate the birth of Christ and what’s a birthday celebration without cake? Before any gifts are open we cut the cake and enjoy a piece. Even if you do not celebrate the birth of Christ, Christmas is a time of celebration, so why not enjoy cake? It helps slow the morning down. 

Another fun part of our morning that adds to our success is how we “do” gifts. Generally our kids get only 3 gifts.  When they were little it was so easy. They received something just for fun, something to read and something to wear. We do still keep it to three gifts, but we can’t keep the same parameters as we once did. Our girls also buy for each other. When they were little they would buy something small for each sister, but as they have gotten older that stopped working as well and we transitioned to picking a name out of a hat.  They love surprising a sister with a gift. But here’s where the magic comes in, only one gift is opened at a time. Everyone watches and waits. We have time to enjoy the moment with the receiver of the gift. 

We have added in a fun tradition of the Christmas Pickle.  I believe it is a German tradition and it adds to the fun of the morning. We hide this pickle ornament in the tree and whoever finds it gets to open the first gift of Christmas. You could use any ornament and start this fun tradition this year. 

Purchase my Morning Motivation Daily Journal 

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There are so many benefits to having a coach. I know this because I am a certified coach, but also because I have a coach and I am living proof of what can happen when we are coached.

I share my top 3 reasons why coaching is so powerful and clients get results when working with a coach.

1. Coaching helps you see your story. Your brain is a box of stories, stories affect how we see ourselves, so if you change the story you can change behavior, rewire your brain to have a new story and it can’t go back to the old story.

Coaching causes a disruption in thought. We use questions to help you to pause and look at your story. This can’t always be done alone because it makes you uncomfortable and our brain wants us to stay safe. If we unpack those stories and start to feel uncomfortable we are going to stop. 

1. We learn through breakthrough and uncertainty. When you are in that uncomfortable place your coach walks you through the emotions, helps you have those aha moments which really just means you are attaching new meanings to what’s happening. The most common phrase I hear from clients is “I have never thought about that”.  In fact I had one client who I would ask a question to and it was always met with dead silence.  And not for a moment, but for long enough that I wondered if her phone cut out.  Somewhere about six weeks into working together she said to me, “Jen you always ask me these questions that I have never thought of and I really need time to think about it because it never occurred to me.” I think we both had an aha that session.  Learning happens in uncertainty.
2. A coach does not judge.  Yes, your coach wants you to succeed and reach your goals, but like I just said learning can come in the uncomfortable.  It can come from the reasons why we don’t follow through on something just as much as we learn from what happens when we do.  Think about that, how many relationships are in your life that you can show up and say anything without judgement. I’ll wait…(lol) I think this is also the perfect place to be clear when it comes to your goals, a coach does not tell you what to do. A consultant does. A therapist might.  A mentor could.  But a coach does not tell you what to do. I believe that I help my clients uncover what is already within them and if I do show them a new idea they are always, always empowered in what they choose to do with it. 

Coaching works for so many reasons, but these are at the top of the list and so significant. 

Notable Points:

“A coach is like your best friend if they could do all of this”

“You don’t want a coach who’s sitting there barking orders, telling you what to do...”

“Hiring a coach is not a sign of weakness”

“This work lights me up!”

“I am a product of coaching and I am a coach”

Purchase my Morning Motivation Daily Journal 

https://www.healthcoach4life.com/shop/

Grab the First Steps to Intuitive Eating Guide

https://www.healthcoach4life.com/firststeps

Book a Private Consultation
https://www.healthcoach4life.com/requestsession/?sid=3

Resources:

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@jennifer_lifeandmindsetcoach

@healthlifeandmoreforwomen

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I am fully aware that this is a bold statement.  For some it could feel triggering and for others it could give you a glimmer of hope. I knew though that I had to share this with you specifically during this holiday season. Why?  Because you are going to be hit hard with diet culture telling you that you are addicted to sugar.  Diet culture, which remember is a 70 billion dollar a year industry, wants and needs you to believe that you are addicted to sugar so they can sell you the next “sugar detox”, the whole 30 diet, the “barely eat enough calories to keep a small child alive meal plan”,or the “try to swallow this down weight loss program”. Diet culture banks on you believing that enjoying those delicious holiday cookies you baked with your family has wrecked you. 

First let me say, I know what you are thinking and feeling.  I know what you are believing about yourself because I believed it all too. 

There was a Princeton study done with rats and they concluded that the controlled group became addicted to sugar, but when you look closer at the study the rats that were consuming sugar at a large rate were limited in their eating all together. The other group had no limits on their food or sugar intake and saw no loss of control with their sugar intake.  This study has never been replicated on humans, but what I can tell you is that we do know that deprivation or any food restriction leads to your body compensating later.  You’re not addicted, you’re just hungry!

There’s a famous study called the Minnesota Starvation Experiment -which was on humans in 1944 proved this. You can look it up, it’s  fascinating study, but what I want you to know is that when deprived of food or you experience restriction you will feel like you are over consuming when you finally stop or as diet culture would say “give in”.

Think about it this way, if you held your breath underwater for a long time, would you come up and breathe normally?  Heck no!  You would take big breaths and gasps until you felt your breathing was back to normal.

This is the same for our most basic need of food. 

The problem is for so long you have believed you are addicted to food so you then restrict “no Christmas cookies” and restrict “no second helping” and restrict “I’ll skip eating breakfast today” eventually you hit your limit, you overeat (which really is just your body compensating) again believe you are addicted and stay in this cycle. 

How do you break this cycle? How do you walk away from this belief that you are addicted to sugar or food in general even?

You must make peace with food. Must. It’s part working on your thoughts and beliefs about food, identifying food rules that are not true and putting into practice the fundamentals of Intuitive Eating. This is where it gets tricky because you are not sure where to start or what to do next.

I am here to take all the guesswork out of it for you.  As your life coach I specialize in Intuitive Eating.  I also live the work. I am a product of Intuitive eating and can tell you that living on this side is happier, more peaceful and fulfilling. 

Notable Points:

“They need you to believe that you are addicted to sugar”

“Diet culture banks on you believing that enjoying those delicious holiday cookies you baked with your family has wrecked you.”

“You've been being fed false information for so long”

“We do know that deprivation or any food restriction leads to your body compensating later”

“You’re not addicted, you’re just hungry”

“You must make peace with food”

Grab the First Steps to Intuitive Eating Guide

https://www.healthcoach4life.com/firststeps

Book a Private Consultation
https://www.healthcoach4life.com/requestsession/?sid=3

Resources:

Purchase Tee’s, Tanks & More

Podcast on Instagram 

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@jennifer_lifeandmindsetcoach

@healthlifeandmoreforwomen

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We’ve waited for it, maybe impatiently...but it’s the last month of the year 2020. I can say with confidence that it has been one of the most trying and wonderful years of my life. Yes, both. Simultaneously. Amazing things have happened in my coaching business Health Coach4Life, LLC. Especially the women who have said screw diet culture and have increased their confidence and found food freedom.

And this podcast has had 5,000 downloads.  I have hit over 700 downloads each month since this summer. My goal was 100...my goal was 100 for each month. I love you all! 

I could sit and tell you all the trying things and a few really crappy things but you can listen to episode 60 for a few of those if you want...I’m here to tell you why I believe in the midst of a subpar year there have been amazing and exhilarating things happening...it’s one word. 

Victorious. 

This was my word for 2020...it came to me in December of 2019 when I was doing my 2020 planning, so clearly I had no idea what the new year would bring. Thank goodness I didn’t! 

Every year I reflect and give time to allow a word to come to me.  I always know it’s the word when I want to fully reject it.  And let me tell you, I wanted to throw the word Victorious out the window last year.  It seemed arrogant and pompous. It also felt out of reach and a huge stretch.  I knew, I knew this was my word. 

Victorious literally means to have won a victory. Walking through this year with my unexpected breast health issues...I would need to feel victorious.  Walking through this year and getting to the end feels like a freakin victory in itself! Walking though it and having success...victorious. 

It got me thinking about my previous words.  In my office I have my last 2 years of planners handy so I grabbed them off the shelf and looked at my word of the year.  For 2018 it was Steadfast...when I wrote that I would have no idea that I would leave my part time job to coach full time just a few months after writing that word down. I needed to have that unwavering feeling that I was doing the right thing.  I needed to feel it in my soul. Amazing. 

In 2019 the word was Advantageous. I can distinctly remember when that word came over me. I immediately looked up the definition which reads: involving or creating favorable circumstances that increase the chances of success or effectiveness. I can also distinctly remember wanting to run from that word. I am so glad I didn’t. 

Here’s what I know, having a word for the year before the year ever begins gives me focus. Before circumstances can show themselves I know how I am showing up. Having this word helps me work through my thoughts immediately and gives me a place to come back to throughout the year. 

This whole year I have come back to the word Victorious. Was it a challenge at times, hell yes!  Was it centering and provided a reframe, so much! 

I don’t know if you have ever had a word for the year. While I think vision boards can be great, I am a big believer in the power of our thoughts and that’s why this has consistently been a practice for me.  

Once that word is present for me all the goals I set for the first quarter and the year come from that place. Once I have that word I put it where I can see it...for me that means in my podcast planner.   It’s perfect because that word is right there every week. 

What if you took some time right now and thought about what your word would be for 2021. The word could challenge you, stretch you and make you feel uncomfortable. This could be your word. 

Notable Points:

“None of us had any idea what the new year would bring”

“Every year I reflect and give time to allow a word to come to me”

“Walking through this year and getting to the end feels like a freakin’ victory in itself!”

“Having a word for the year before the year ever begins gives me focus”

“I had to believe I was victorious this year”

“I want as much clarity around that word as possible”

Grab the First Steps to Intuitive Eating Guide

https://www.healthcoach4life.com/firststeps

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https://www.healthcoach4life.com/requestsession/?sid=3

Resources:

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@healthlifeandmoreforwomen

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I would like to keep the tradition on the podcast for the week of Thanksgiving to have our topic related to this time of year. Last year it was all about Gratitude in Episode 9  but this year I am taking a completely different angle.

Thanksgiving can be one of the most stressful times for us - sometimes that’s just because we spend the day with people that drive us bonkers.  They’re family and we love ‘em! 

But most of the stress comes from being around such great quantities of food, food that we don’t have on a regular basis, food that can transport us back to our childhood (good and/or bad).

Starting the day before with prep and pie baking the stress can set in “am I going to eat too much?”, “I won’t be able to control myself”, “dinner conversation is going to make me want to drink heavily” or “I won’t eat much today because I am going to pig out tomorrow” 

First of all the good news is these are just thoughts.  Why is that good?  We can work on our thoughts.  They are a sentence in our head and we have a choice in our thoughts. But Jen, I am already feeling anxious or overwhelmed or even guilty...that would make sense! Our thoughts cause our feelings.  Our feelings cause our action which leads us to the end result. 

So, follow me here...if you think the thought “I am going to eat too much” you might feel guilty, that feeling of guilt may lead you to not eat or withhold from enjoying foods you want which results in an all out binge on leftovers before bed. This is not a made up scenario.  I hear it from clients and have a similar version that I experienced year after year.

So here is my number one tip to the best thanksgiving...become aware of your thoughts. You might need to write them down so you can really see them. Which thoughts are helping you and moving you forward and which are not.  Check in on the emotions attached to the thoughts.  Do you want to be feeling that emotion? Now, since thoughts are a choice you can choose to change them. What do you want to be thinking? Maybe it’s that you want to think “I can enjoy all the foods on the Thanksgiving table at dinner” or “I will savor every bite of food this Thanksgiving” 

Even saying those two thoughts I feel different in my body.  I feel lighter and I’m smiling.  I can see myself enjoying all the food.  I can picture myself savoring every bite...when’s the last time you savored? I am already noticing the feeling of satisfaction is coming over me.  And what action do you think I will take if I feel satisfied? I am going to eat the damn food and enjoy every single bite...resulting in a positive experience!

This is the life coaching model I use on myself, the work I do with clients and I freakin love it! 

You can do this with any thought. Anytime, anywhere.  How empowering is it to know that your thoughts are a choice? And because your thoughts are a choice and your thoughts cause your feelings that means you have total control in how you feel.

You can’t control what others think, how they feel or who they are being when they show up at the table. That’s a circumstance for you - it’s fact or neutral for you. You can look at your thoughts about it though. You can choose what you want to think about the off the wall thing your distant relative said.  You can choose what you want to think about the food on your plate.  You can choose what you want to think about the delicious desserts being served. 

Where can you use this process in your life right now? 

Share how this helped and empowered you on Instagram and tag the podcast @healthlifeandmoreforwomen

Notable Points:

“Thanksgiving can be one of the most stressful times for us”

“I won’t eat much today because I am going to ‘pig out’ tomorrow”

“Thoughts are simply sentences in our head”

“Our thoughts cause our feelings”

“You can choose what you want to think about the food on your plate”

Grab the First Steps to Intuitive Eating Guide

https://www.healthcoach4life.com/firststeps

Book a Private Consultation
https://www.healthcoach4life.com/requestsession/?sid=3

Resources:

Purchase Tee’s, Tanks & More

Podcast on Instagram 

Join My Mailing List

Download Negative Self Talk eBook

Connect with Jennifer on Social Media

@jennifer_lifeandmindsetcoach

@healthlifeandmoreforwomen

The Podcast on Facebook

Pinterest    

Email: [email protected]