We’ve stepped into a fever dream. Ash wants to set up a farm in her house and become an egg dealer, while Jack is stuck in a world of whimsy and frivolity, reminiscing about The Wombles and musing over who was the fittest member of The Tweenies. There’s also time to debunk conspiracy theories regarding the pop star Pink and discuss what would be the best medieval drinking vessel.

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In a moment of feral fever, Ash has allowed the worst photo ever taken of her to be shared with the world. Meanwhile, Jack is dying to chat about Heated Rivalry and the Brooklyn Beckham saga with his bestie. Plus, there’s a big helping of bad advice to dish out to a listener who has found themselves becoming an insatiable maneater.

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There’s a Hogmanay of revelations to be revealed as Jack has brought back a head full of shame from Brazil, and someone from Ash’s past has surfaced with a fact about her that even her bestest friend didn’t know. Also up for discussion is the revival of the “oh god” meme and a good helping of chat around maritime culture.

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Jack and Ash are coming to you from the gayest place on earth, where the gyms are full of the fittest people you’ve ever seen and the drinks never stop flowing! But it’s not all sunshine and smiles, as Ash comes to terms with turning 30 and Jack contemplates turning down a rave for the first time in his life.

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Jack and Ash’s year is NOT off to a good start. Jack’s had a massage from hell, and Ash is in the middle of a swindler’s nightmare. But in between the disasters, there’s always time for some ghoulish chatter about fit villains, Real Housewives, and, of course, a Bestie Dictionary or two.

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Feeling refreshed and fully revitalised after the Christmas break, Jack and Ash are back with a brand new game, an Eminem tribute and troubling story involving a bearded dragon. There's also time to dish out some bad advice and reveal the origins of the word 'amayzin'.

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It’s time for Jack and Ash to decide who’s been naughty and nice this year — and they’ve got a legitimately AMAYZIN giveaway for their favourite story. We also hear about Jack’s mad eating game he plays with his family, Ash’s Zipcar blunder, and a tale from a poor maiden involving cranberry juice that is really not in the festive spirit.

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Turns out Ash has a go-to lie when she's on a night out - and in classic Ash fashion, she's been getting it wrong. Meanwhile, Jack tries guessing Ash's age, which leads to a full-blown walkout! They eventually patch things up though to dish out some bad advice and enlighten us all on the world of furries.

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Some BIG story arcs are kicking off today…

The LIES of Lochmuir.

The DECEIT of the Doorstop.

The LOSERS of the Car Lease.

You do not want to miss the epic finales to these sagas.

Jack and Ash are also on hand offering their signature brand of bad advice and pondering whether we could all do with just a little more shame in our lives?

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Hold on to your wigs, landlubbers — a mighty storm be brewing, and not a single fair maiden will escape unscathed!

…Sorry, got a bit carried away with a bout of maritime ghoulishness. Convenient timing, though, because Jack and Ash are here with some revelations about fake showbiz news, their dream celebrity pairings to switch on Christmas lights, and the true meaning of “Hogmanay.”

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