There's much to hanker on after an amayszing time at Primavera, but it wasn't all sunshine and mii miii's...

Ash had a journey home so full of moroseness that she was basically stuck in an infinite jive for 12 hours, whereas Jack found himself being blown around Barcelona like a Chocolonely wrapper in the breeze looking for somewhere to rest his beautiful head.

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There's a spooky hanker in the air... Horror films, Basque Cheesecakes, Dominatrices - it doesn't bear!

Jack, fresh from sampling the delights of the Dutch, has come back feeling a little strange after accidentally revisiting a nightclub that changed him for life. While Ash has found her old yearbook from school, which raises more questions than it answers.

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After last week's X Factor-shaped cliffhanger, Jack and Ash have come armed with the final part of the saga... For now...

There are also big revelations to hanker on, including being a petri dish baby, being a dirty bestest friend, and what happened when Ash got robbed at a service station?

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How did Jack and Ash actually meet? It's time for the origin story of all origin stories...

From nerve-wracking X Factor auditions and bootcamp blues to backstage dramas and tabloid intrigue, this is a tale of woe, plot twists, and high-waisted trousers..

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There's so much DARKNESS in the world right now. Lying mirrors, secretive back rooms at Glastonbury, and the salacious origins of BOP-IT.

Thankfully, Jack and Ash are here to spread some light and joy to fight back the shadows! 🙏🏻

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Things take a nostalgic turn for Jack and Ash this week as they dive into their all-time favourite vending machine snacks. Plus, Baby Ash shares the slightly less sweet but iconic memory of his first brush with racism…

It also turns out there’s always time for a stripper mo-mentttt at any Jack and Ash occasion. Actually, is it even a Jack and Ash mo-mentttt without one??

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What's the best thing about fancy food? It's all about the froth and the crumb, of course!

If that tantalising teaser hasn't got your taste buds going, then get ready to hanker on tabernacle vape shops, why Ash wants to study marathon runners in the lab, and why Jack has been caught out at the afters.

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Jack and Ash are in their reckoning era and THANK GOD we get to hear all about it! Ash has been dealing with buxom aunties trying to dodge train fares, while Jack has been relaxing/worrying during a lymphatic drainage massage. There is also the small topic of how completely wild noughties TV was and the savagery of the Wii Fit.

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And just like that, back on British soil! There is MUCH to discuss from Coachella, including tech billionaire after-parties, THAT Justin Bieber performance, and why everyone there was in fancy dress as a jacket potato. There are also signs of a Charli XCX and Gü Ramekin crossover, which is officially our next favourite conspiracy theory.

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While Jack is happy to return to the earth as a dusty mo-ment when he dies, Ashwini has a very different plan to freeze her body that, if successful, will ensure her light and joy will be preserved for future generations.

There's also much to hunker on with rating desserts, poo-play at TK Maxx, and whether anyone actually enjoys Huel? 

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