The Joyful Mourning - A Podcast for Women Who Have Experienced Pregnancy or Infant Loss

Season 05 is here and I am so, so grateful to be back. In this special first episode of season 05 I am joined by my husband Aaron who is taking on the role as host. In this episode he is asking me all the questions and I am answering your questions! I share about what my grief looks like now nearly 14 years later and how it has changed over the years, I talk about what it has been like for me to reconnect with my son when time has made his life feel so far away. I answer a few questions about preparing to conceive again and pregnancy after loss and even my favorite books for grief and loss. And we finish our time together with a very simple, but profound prayer that I have for you in this new season.

No matter what brought you here today, I pray this episode and this inside peek into my story is a reminder to you today that you are seen and loved and not alone.

GIFT FOR YOU

To celebrate this new season we have a free gift for you! A brand new art print and Verse Card Set, absolutely free. Download here > www.themorning.com/season5

QUESTIONS WE DISCUSS IN NO.170

1. What your grief is like now, how has it changed over the years?
2. Do you have any tips to help you reconnect with your baby you lost when you feel so distant?
3. What's the best way that you've found to tell new people about Aaden?
4. Helpful tips to prepare for trying to conceive after loss.
5. Book recommendations for loss and grief?
6. How to celebrate a new baby on the way while still grieving a child that died. For us and for my kids?
7. What's your favorite aspect of running The Morning
8. What are your hopes and prayers for The Morning and the women in this community this year?

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN NO. 170

1. Check out all of our PAL resources: themorning.com/pregnancyafterloss
2. Episode 148 with Bereavement Doula Elizabeth King
3. Episode 154 with Trauma Specialist Lindsay Blair
4. Episode 88 with licensed counselor, Libby Marler.
5. Books
   1. Suffering is Never For Nothing, Elisabeth Elliot
   2. Holding on to Hope, Nancy Guthrie
   3. Walking with God through Pain & Suffering, Tim Keller
   4. Tear Soup, Pat Schwiebert
   5. This too Shall Last, KJ Ramsey
   6. Buried Dreams, Lindsey Dennis
   7. Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, Mark Vroegop
   8. Sunlight in December, Kristin Hernandez

JOIN OUR FREE ONLINE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode170

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

This week on the podcast I am honored to be talking with Adam & Amanda Wilcock about their parenting journey and specifically what it has been like for them to navigate marriage after losing their son Sam.

Listen in to hear us talk about the challenges they faced within their marriage after losing Sam, how they navigated those challenges, how they grieved differently and navigated those differences in order to stay connected.

Amanda shares some thoughts on why connection is really important, not only to her husband, but to God and community. Adam shares some specific difficulties he faced in being a grieving dad and wisdom and encouragement he would give to a grieving dad listening, as well as ways to support a grieving dad. Amanda also gives wisdom about what it looks like to support a grieving spouse or partner and I thought her advice was super, super insightful.

Adam and Amanda also share very candidly and honestly abou their faith journey after losing their son and what it looked like to question God's goodness and character and how to love a grieving mom who may be wrestling through her faith after loss.

We finish up our time together talking about what it has looked like to find purpose in their pain and loss – and I love how Amanda ends our time together by saying "even in the hardest, rawest, most painful moments, I would not give up being his mom."

This conversation will remind you that you are not alone while also giving you hope that one day it won't feel this heavy or this dark – there is joy to be had and a stronger marriage at the end of tragedy is possible.

THIS EPISODE IS DEDICATED TO LILAH VIOLET WASIELEWSKI BY HER PARENTS & FAMILY.

We have chosen to dedicate this episode in memory of our beloved daughter, sister, granddaughter and niece Lilah Violet for her second Heavenly Birthday. The Morning has been the single most supportive resource for our family in the loss of our daughter. I hope this resource will be available for many years to come to help support other families who find themselves walking this path. Lilah, we are forever loving and forever missing you sweet girl. We're wishing you the Happiest of Heavenly Birthdays sweet girl.

Lilah Violet Wasielewski, stillborn at 29 weeks, June 19, 2020.

A special thank you to the Waielewski family for sponsoring this episode.

We celebrate Lilah and we remember her with you.

QUESTIONS WE DISCUSS IN NO.169

1. What do you think is the most challenging aspect of navigating the marriage relationship after loss and what advice would you give a grieving couple about how to navigate those challenges?
2. How did you grieve differently and how have you navigated those differences?
3. You mentioned to me that connection is essential to surviving loss and healing, connecting with God, with your spouse, with your support system – tell me more about that.
4. Adam, what common lies do you think men believe about grieving a baby? What would you say to them? How can a spouse or friend/family help combat those lies?
5. Amanda, what would you tell other moms about how to care for your husband/partner in their grief?
6. Adam, what would you tell other grieving dads about grief & how to navigate it? What would you tell them about grieving within a marriage and supporting their wife/partner in their grief?
7. What did your faith journey look like in this season? You mentioned to me that you had to re-figure out what a good and loving God meant – tell me more about that.
8. How do you honor Sam today? What does it look like to parent together a child in heaven?
9. How have you found purpose in your suffering? What would you say to a mom who is having a difficult time finding purpose in this season?

FREE RESOURCE

For more resources about navigating marriage after the loss of a baby, check out our complete Resource Bundle. You can access that bundle instantly and all the marriage related resources including quick links to our favorite episodes about marriage and a date night idea list for when dating your spouse feels really hard.

To get instant access to that bundle head to themorning.com/resourcebundle

JOIN OUR FREE ONLINE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode169

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

This week on the podcast I am honored to be talking with Emily Stangl about her experience navigating marriage after losing her daughter Tilly.

We talk about the challenges she and her husband faced and how they worked through, and are working, through those challenges. Emily shares the ways she grieves differently than her husband and what that practically looks like in their marriage as well as the role that self care played in their healing individually and also as a couple.

Emily shares with me all the beautiful ways that she and her husband grieve together and individually, but not only that, she also shares with me how they parent Tilly, their first and only child, now that she is in heaven.

Emily gives such practical and intentional and beautiful ways of doing this and I am sure that it will give you freedom in finding ways to mother and parent your baby in heaven too. We also talk about what it looks like to support a grieving dad, especially when he's different from you and what it looks like to compromise for the sake of grieving together.

It's a really beautiful conversation that will give you hope in this journey – that there can be joy even here in a marriage that has walked through and experienced the unimaginable. I'm so grateful for Emily and her wisdom and her story and I am sure it is going to bless you.

THIS EPISODE IS DEDICATED TO ERIKA RUSSEL

To Erika:

Adalynn Paige Neil was loved fiercely for the three days she lived. She is not forgotten. We wish you peace and love and are thinking of you, Caleb, and Adalynn on her birthday.

A special thank you to the donor who sponsored this episode – thank you for loving a grieving mom and remembering such an important day.

Erika, we honor you and we celebrate and remember Adalynn with you.

QUESTIONS WE DISCUSS IN NO.168

1. What do you think is the most challenging aspect of navigating the marriage relationship after loss and what advice would you give a grieving couple about how to navigate those challenges?
2. How did you grieve differently and how have you navigated those differences?
3. You mentioned that one aspect of your grief journey as it related to your mental and emotional health, was discovering that self care looked different for each of you. Tell me what that looked like and why it has been important at navigating grief and the marriage relationship after loss. What advice/wisdom would you give to a grieving couple about this?
4. What does it look like to parent Tilly now? How do you parent with your husband and what does that look like individually? You mentioned that this can be an opportunity to strengthen your relationship – tell me more about that.
5. What would you tell friends & family about what it looks like to support a grieving couple (dads often get missed or overlooked)?

FREE RESOURCE

For more resources about navigating marriage after the loss of a baby, check out our complete Resource Bundle. You can access that bundle instantly and all the marriage related resources including quick links to our favorite episodes about marriage and a date night idea list for when dating your spouse feels really hard.

To get instant access to that bundle head to themorning.com/resourcebundle

JOIN OUR FREE ONLINE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode168

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

This week on the podcast I am honored to be talking with Becky Banik about her experience navigating marriage and parenting after the tragic loss of her son Joey. Becky shares candidly and honestly about the difficulties and challenges her marriage faced as well as what has helped in the year since they lost their son.

We talk about the most challenging aspect of navigating the marriage relationship after loss and the advice she would give you about how to navigate those challenges. We talk about the importance of acknowledging and recognizing that people change after loss and grief and so its important to get to know each other again, and what that practically looked like for Becky and her husband. Becky shares how she grieved differently than her husband and the ways they navigated those differences, how the 5 love languages played a vital role in learning to understand each other and meet each other's needs and really hear other. We also talk about the very important role that counseling played in saving their marriage. And if you love a grieving couple, sprinkled throughout this entire conversation are very, very helpful, practical ways to support a grieving couple.

And I love that Becky ends our conversation with this encouragement "it's worth the fight." Such hopeful wisdom from someone who has been there and is still fighting for it even today.

This conversation will remind you that you are not alone in the difficulty of grieving with your spouse or partner while also giving you incredibly practical and helpful wisdom and tools about how to grieve and grow together – I am sure it is going to bless you.

THIS EPISODE IS DEDICATED TO LEVI MICHAEL GONZALEZ

Today's podcast is sponsored by the Gonzalez family in memory of their son Levi Michael Gonzalez.

Our dearest Levi, June 23rd will be five years. Five years since we held you in our arms but couldn't bring you home. Five years since you made us parents. You beautiful boy. You have changed our lives. Even though you're not with us physically, spiritually you'll be with us forever. You have changed so many lives with just your story. Even though you couldn't be with us, we're so glad you're with Jesus. Forever we will love you always.

A special thank you to the Gonzalez family for sponsoring this episode. We celebrate Levi and we remember him with you.

QUESTIONS WE DISCUSS IN NO.167

1. What do you think is the most challenging aspect of navigating the marriage relationship after loss?
2. What advice would you give a grieving couple about how to navigate those challenges?
3. In what ways did you and your husband change after you lost Joey? You talked to me about how important it is to realize people are different after grief and that relearning who someone is/what the relationship looks like is hard work but essential. What did that look like in your relationship? What mistakes did you make and what advice would you give other couples?
4. How did you grieve differently and how have you navigated those differences?
5. What are some practical things you did in your marriage to give space for each other to grieve?
6. Tell me how counseling transformed your marriage?
7. What would you tell friends & family about what it looks like to support a grieving couple (dads often get missed or overlooked)?
8. You had living children when your son Joey died, tell me what you have learned about parenting after loss? What wisdom would you give another grieving mom with living children?
9. You wrote this to me: "kids are resilient and it can be easy to overlook what grief looks like." – What advice would you give about how to not overlook your living children's grief?

FREE RESOURCE

For more resources about navigating marriage after the loss of a baby, check out our complete Resource Bundle. You can access that bundle instantly and all the marriage related resources including quick links to our favorite episodes about marriage and a date night idea list for when dating your spouse feels really hard.

To get instant access to that bundle head to themorning.com/resourcebundle

JOIN OUR FREE ONLINE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode167

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

This week on the podcast I am honored to be talking with Candy McVicar, author, speaker, and devoted advocate for families who are grieving a baby or child. After experiencing the stillbirth of her daughter Grace, she founded and became Executive Director of Missing GRACE Foundation, whose mission is to provide support, resources, and education for families and professional care providers when there is loss of a baby, infertility, or adoption challenges.

Candy is joining us today to share her motherhood journey with us and also to talk about navigating marriage after the loss of a baby. Candy is the author of the book: Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby: The 5 Love Languages® for Grieving Parents and during our time together she explains what the 5 love languages are and how knowing them and implementing that knowledge into your marriage after loss can help you grieve with your spouse or partner, find healing and be stronger as a unit.

Candy not only shares her personal experience of navigating marriage after the loss of her baby, experience that will remind you that you are not alone in the difficulty of grieving with your spouse or partner but she also shares incredibly practical and helpful wisdom about how to grieve and grow together – I am sure it is going to bless you.

QUESTIONS WE DISCUSS

1. How did you/do you grieve differently than your husband and how have you navigated those differences?

2. What was different about grieving together after you lost your daughter Grace & after you lost Promise? What was similar?

3. How did you learn to grieve together as a married couple? What practical tips do you have for couples as they grieve together?

4. You mentioned that "Learning the love languages and how to apply them has been foundational for the health of my marriage. I've been married for twenty-two years to Stephen, and though we've gone through some of the most painful experiences, we are so close and I'm incredibly grateful to do life side by side with my beloved." - Can you tell us what the love languages are in case anyone is unfamiliar with them and how understanding them has impacted your marriage?

5. You wrote a book called: "Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby: The 5 Love Languages® for Grieving Parents." Will you share a little more about using the five love languages through grief?

6. You also write about the importance of understanding your spouse's unique grieving needs and what it looks like to support him/her – what wisdom would you give to another grieving mom about what it looks like practically to best support her spouse?

7. What is one final word of encouragement you would give to a couple navigating grief and life after loss?

FREE RESOURCE BUNDLE FOR LIFE AFTER BABY LOSS

For more resources about navigating marriage after the loss of a baby, check out our complete Resource Bundle. You can access that bundle instantly and all the marriage related resources including quick links to our favorite episodes about marriage and a date night idea list for when dating your spouse feels really hard.

To get instant access to that bundle head to themorning.com/resourcebundle

JOIN OUR FREE ONLINE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode166

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

This week on the podcast I am interviewing dear friends of mine, Joseph & Corrie Lovette. You will recognize Corrie as one of our guests from the This is Motherhood, Too series and I am so excited to have her back on the podcast and this time to be joined by her husband Joseph.

4 years ago, after having been married for almost 10 years, they experienced the loss of a baby. And today they are joining us to talk about experience navigating loss and grief as a married couple and even more specifically what it looks like to support a grieving dad.

We talk about the challenges they faced, how they navigated those challenges, lies that Joseph believed and practical ways they gave space for each other to grieve.

Their answers are honest and relatable – and maybe my favorite part is that Joseph says, it's ok to grieve men, it's ok to cry and have emotions and it's ok to grieve a baby you never met – I know this interview is going to bless you and remind you that you are not alone in this while simultaneously giving you specific ways to support the grieving dad in your life.

QUESTIONS WE DISCUSS

1. What do you think is the most challenging aspect of navigating the marriage relationship after loss?
2. How did you grieve differently and how have you navigated those differences?
3. What advice would you give a grieving couple about how to navigate those challenges?
4. In your experience, what are some ways a husband might experience grief a little differently than his wife?
5. What common lies do you think men believe about grieving a baby? What would you say to them? How can a spouse or friend/family help combat those lies?
6. What are some practical things you did in your marriage to give space for each other to grieve?
7. Corrie, what would you tell other moms about how to care for your husband/partner in their grief?
8. Joseph, what would you tell other grieving dads about grief & how to navigate it? What would you tell them about grieving within a marriage and supporting their wife/partner in their grief?
9. What would you tell friends & family about what it looks like to support a grieving dad?

FREE RESOURCE BUNDLE FOR LIFE AFTER BABY LOSS

For more resources about navigating marriage after the loss of a baby, check out our complete Resource Bundle. You can access that bundle instantly and all the marriage related resources including quick links to our favorite episodes about marriage and a date night idea list for when dating your spouse feels really hard.

To get instant access to that bundle head to themorning.com/resourcebundle

JOIN OUR FREE ONLINE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode165

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

This is part 4 of a 4 part series called: This is Motherhood, too where I am joined by Kristin Hernandez, Aimee Jones, Micayla Lyons and Corrie Lovette. This has been a special series about what motherhood means to the mom who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss and all of my guests have experienced different types of loss, some as recent as 4 months ago and for some it's been years. My hope is that no matter what type of loss you have experienced and how long ago you experienced that loss, this honest, hopeful conversation would make you feel known and understood and less alone in this journey.

In this episode we are talking specifically to those who love a grieving mom, to the friends and family walking alongside someone grieving and I am asking my guests 3 questions:

1. What do you wish your friends and family knew or understood about how you feel about motherhood after loss?
2. What is one way you would feel cared for by your friends or family after your loss?
3. What encouragement do you have for other moms in the thick of motherhood and grief?

I am certain that no matter your story, this conversation will remind you that you are not alone and there is hope to be had.

FREE WORKBOOK

We created a workbook that goes along with this podcast series to give you an opportunity to answer these questions for yourself as you consider how your motherhood journey has been shaped by loss. No matter where you are in your grief journey I think doing this will help you to find healing in a new way. To download that workbook head to themorning.com/motherhood.

MEET OUR GUESTSwww.themorning.com/motherhood

• Kristin Hernandez
• Aimee Jones
• Micayla Lyons
• Corrie Lovette

JOIN THE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode164

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

This is part 3 of a 4 part series called: This is Motherhood, too where I am joined by Kristin Hernandez, Aimee Jones, Micayla Lyons and Corrie Lovette. This is a special series about what motherhood means to the mom who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss and all of my guests have experienced different types of loss, some as recent as 4 months ago and for some it's been years. My hope is that no matter what type of loss you have experienced and how long ago you experienced that loss, this honest, hopeful conversation would make you feel known and understood and less alone in this journey.

If this is your first time listening, make sure to listen in to Part 1 and Part 2 of this special series so you can get to know our guests and their stories. In this episode, we are jumping right into the conversation and I am asking my guests 3 questions:

1. How has your loss shaped your motherhood?
2. What challenges do you find in being a mom?
3. What are some joys you experience in motherhood?

I am certain that no matter your story, this conversation will remind you that you are not alone and there is hope to be had.

We created a workbook that goes along with this podcast series to give you an opportunity to answer these questions for yourself as you consider how your motherhood journey has been shaped by loss. No matter where you are in your grief journey I think doing this will help you to find healing in a new way. To download that workbook head to themorning.com/motherhood.

MEET OUR GUESTSwww.themorning.com/motherhood

• Kristin Hernandez
• Aimee Jones
• Micayla Lyons
• Corrie Lovette

JOIN THE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode163

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

This week I am joined by Kristin Hernandez, Aimee Jones, Mikayla Lyons and Corrie Lovette for Part 2 of our 4 part series called: This is Motherhood, Too. A special series about what motherhood means to the mom who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss. Listen into our 2nd annual round table conversation with 4 women, each having experienced different types of loss as they share honestly about their journey of loss, grief and finding hope. My hope is that no matter what type of loss you have experienced and how long ago you experienced that loss, this conversation would make you feel known and understood and less alone in this journey.

Last week in Part 1 of this conversation we discussed two questions:

1. What does motherhood mean to you
2. What has surprised you about this journey?

In this episode, we are jumping right into the conversation and we are discussing:

1. How has grief has impacted your everyday life?
2. What does your grief look like today and how has it changed?
3. What has your journey of motherhood taught your about yourself and what it has taught you about God?

I am certain that no matter your story, it will remind you that you are not alone and there is hope to be had.

We created a workbook that goes along with this podcast series to give you an opportunity to answer these questions for yourself as you consider how your motherhood journey has been shaped by loss. No matter where you are in your grief journey I think doing this will help you to find healing in a new way. To download that workbook head to themorning.com/motherhood.

MEET OUR GUESTSwww.themorning.com/motherhood

• Kristin Hernandez
• Aimee Jones
• Micayla Lyons
• Corrie Lovette

IF YOU LOVED THIS CONVERSATION, YOU WILL LOVE THE MORNING MEMBERSHIP! Learn more: www.themorning.com/membership

JOIN THE COMMUNITYwww.themorning.com/community

SHOW NOTESwww.themorning.com/blog/episode162

RATE, REVIEW & FOLLOW ON APPLE PODCASTSIf you love The Joyful Mourning Podcast, please consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps moms who are grieving to find us a little easier and get that support they need. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know how this episode helped you.

A Special Bonus Episode. Listen to Hailey Maddox read her letter To the Mom Waiting to Meet Her Baby with a Life Limiting Diagnosis

We pray these words would bring you hope and remind you that you are loved and not alone.

To read Hailey's letter: www.themorning.com/blog/to-the-mom-waiting-to-meet-her-baby-with-a-life-limiting-diagnosis

For more resources to provide hope and support, especially during Mother's Day, head to themorning.com/mothersday

Join Our Free Community: www.themorning.com/community